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Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

Baby Steps Will Yield Big Results

There was a time in my life when I celebrated the blessing of a new year with a long list of resolutions. Why did I put all that pressure on myself? I missed so much of the joy of newness by overwhelming my efforts with unreasonable expectations. Things like getting back into the gym, traveling more, and learning a new language were just a few things on my list. They were admirable goals and aspirations, but by the end of the year, many of my resolutions had not materialized in the way I expected. This felt like failure to me, and that’s not a helpful outlook. The truth will always come to us when we demonstrate that we are ready to hear it. So, after years of doing resolutions with minimal results, I sat down with pen and paper in hand, and prepared to ask myself some brutally honest questions. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew they would come. When they did, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Baby steps was the way to go, and I needed to pray and ask the Father for guidance about which ones to take.

One of my friends shared her New Year’s Resolutions List with me and preparing to meet her future husband was in the number one spot. I could be wrong, but I don’t think baby steps are anywhere on her radar. She wants to take a deep dive plunge, and my hunch is that many single women are right there with her. They are looking to meet their future husbands, but like my friend, they probably haven’t given a whole lot of thought to exactly what it will take to make this a reality. Our approach to resolutions is typically about what we can do externally. We rarely think about the mental, emotional, and most importantly, the spiritual practices required for change. There’s an old saying that you can’t get different results by doing the same things you’ve always done. No doubt most of us have heard this statement, but God says it best. He tells us in Ephesians 4:23(NIV), “be made new in the attitude of your minds.”

When it comes to preparing for newness of any kind, our minds are key. Before there can be a change in our hearts, there must be a change in our minds. We must always remember this because everyone that we encounter will either respond or not respond to us based on what’s in our hearts. In other words, if we haven’t changed the way we think, then we haven’t changed what’s operating in our hearts. Many women may have already crossed the path of their future husbands, but because the woman’s heart hasn’t changed, he does not respond to her in the way that he could. So, we have to address the condition of our hearts, and we need to do it through God’s guidance and direction.

In truth, the first place to prepare to receive a blessing from the Lord begins in our hearts. This is where resolutions take root. It’s where our blessings begin their journey to manifestation. Baby steps are the ones we take to find our best course of action to build our faith, so that our confessed desires can become a reality. These steps begin within, they start with our willingness to be guided by the Spirit.

Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” The Holy Spirit lives inside every born-again believer, and his occupation is to comfort, guide, and teach us the truth. He is going to give us information that is from Jesus Christ, and this information is beneficial for the purpose for which we were created. When it comes to your desires, hypothetically, it is possible that you wanted to be a Rocket Scientist. You may have held this desire throughout your youth, but after you finished nursing school, as an adult, you realized that being a Rocket Scientist was not your destiny. God’s Will for your life was to become a nurse, so that you could help those He ordained you to minister to. This is His call upon your life being fulfilled. As admirable as the profession maybe, you were led by the Spirit to become a nurse, not a Rocket Scientist. The Spirit led you according to the Will of God for your life, and you humbled yourself to be led. Resolution should work the very same way.

Resolutions represent ambitions and aspirations that are not yet realized. They are unrealized because we have surmised that they will require a more focused and consistent effort to transform from an idea to a reality. They will require more from us, Jesus Christ tells us this in Luke 12:48, where he said, “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” So, if we’re asking more of life, we should also be asking ourselves how to prepare for it, because it will require more from us. We will have to give and do more than we have in the past, and we must get our minds and hearts on board.

Some of us try to make our minds do things they are not designed to do. We try to make them change and expand without the spiritual mechanisms God designed to accomplish this. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes from hearing and perceiving the Word of God. A spiritual transaction occurs when we hear God’s Word and believe it. Our minds change and our hearts swell. This is the way to spiritually make room for newness, and there is no other way to increase our faith.

Jesus Christ told us in Matthew 6:8 that God knows what we need before we ask for it. He knew our need before we even had a hint that we would desire it. Likewise, God knows our resolutions and the desires of our hearts, and He is calling us to attention. We are not to place all our focus on the resolution. Instead, our focus must be on God alone. He will guide you to the Word you need to hear to build your faith, so that you have great success.

There’s spiritual work that God has called us to. Reading our Bibles, praying and meditating, and talking often to Heavenly Father are essential to staying spiritually strong so we can be and do what He’s called us to become and get done. Our Lord and Savior tells us in Luke 16:10(MSG), “If you’re honest in small things, you’ll be honest in big things; If you’re a crook in small things, you’ll be a crook in big things. If you’re not honest in small jobs, who will put you in charge of the store?” From the words of Jesus Christ, we can confidently know that making baby steps can be a successful approach to sharpen our spiritual strength and increase our relationship with God.

Heavenly Father said in Isaiah 43:18-19(NLT), “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” You are not in this thing alone. God is with you all the way. You don’t have to take big steps to achieve big results. God takes care of the big steps. So, this year, resolve to be as humble before Heavenly Father as you possibly can. Submit to Him, and if you follow wherever the Spirit leads, there’s no pressure and you will not be disappointed. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Baby Steps Will Yield Big Results”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 25, 2022
Holding on When You Should Let It Go

One of my dear friends is 70 years old and admittedly, she’s stubborn, skeptical and cynical; in her mind, all for good reason. She says she loves God, but she’s never considered the reality of getting close to Him. Most of her faith practices are based on what she was taught as a child, and she’s never deviated from the script. Her parents were devoted members of their faith community, but they never talked about Jesus Christ in their home. So, when she grew up to have a family of her own, they never talked about Christ either. Her mother had been a dutiful wife that kept her mouth shut about her own sadness, but she grew to become very bitter about it. My friend carries this same bitterness. It has shown up in every aspect of her life, but she refuses to see it. She was married to her husband for almost thirty years. He passed away almost twenty years ago, and she has refused to consider getting close to God. She believes He allowed her to be left alone.

Many women feel this kind of resentment, and even if they’ve not verbalized it, some of them believe God has caused them to be alone, without the companionship of a good man in their lives. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” As people of faith who honor God, we shouldn’t pick and choose what parts of His Word we think are true and discount the other parts. All of God’s Word is true. It’s our understanding and comprehension of it that’s sometimes faulty, but make no mistake, God commands us to believe the promises He makes to us. He requires that we trust His Word and that we trust who He says He is.

Any relationship will require two individuals to mutually agree that getting to know each other is a worthwhile endeavor. Both have to be interested in one another, and they must be willing to share information and communicate with each other about their qualities, character, likes and dislikes. Getting to know each other is a beautiful process that is built on mutual respect and honor. We must love and honor God for who He is, because He loves and honors who we are. He doesn’t have to honor us, because He’s God! He’s our Creator, and He could wipeout every living person in less time than a blink of an eye. He could erase even the faintest memory of all life and make it appear as though none of us has ever been on this earth. He doesn’t do this because 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and love does not destroy. Love redeems, restores, and builds up.

God has never violated our free-will choices, and He doesn’t interfere in our lives without our invitation. He’s showing us that we’re His masterpieces, and He honors us. He respects the relationship He wants to have with every person. No less from us is required. We must honor God, and if we’re resenting Him because we think He’s not cooperating with our desires, that’s not honor. That’s wrong believing. It’s doubt, and doubt will take us further away from what we desire, not closer to it.

Some of our doubt is passed down from those we cherished and loved. They did not mean to do it, but because they were not taught the truth of God’s Word, they too had doubt in their hearts and minds. There is no way to put a positive spin on doubt and fear. They cripple our faith, and the only remedy is to snuff them out. They must be eradicated so that faith and love can occupy the space that they took up. Some of us won’t get to a place of full surrender, because we’ve been a certain way so long, and we can’t imagine changing. It’s like with my friend, if I even hint that she would experience the joy of the Lord if she changed her attitude, she cuts me off or changes the subject before I can say anything further.

Proverbs 9:8-9(NLT) tells us, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.” The Word of God is more valuable than pearls. It’s the greatest treasure we can imagine, but not all will see His truth for the priceless treasure it is. Some will reject it, and it is useless to try to correct them. None of us should ever want to be like those who blatantly reject the light of God’s truth. Instead, we should desire to become wiser and to be sharpened by God’s Word. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” It’s time! We must put away immaturity. We’ve been holding on to things we should have let go years ago. This speaks to our refusal to grow beyond the thing that ties us to the past. We must recognize that it’s holding us back and keeping us from what God has for us.

Grudges, resentment, bitterness, and anger about things that happened years ago, these will keep us from capturing the blessings we desire. If you’ve got an attitude of doubt in our heart and mind, and you’ve thought that God is withholding the blessing of marriage from you, repent. None of us can afford to have this kind of fear laid to our charge. Recognize that doubt and fear come from satan. God blesses and increases His Word. He will not bless a lie, and when we allow doubt and fear to surround our hearts and minds, and we wrap our thoughts and feelings in it, we’re using the tools of darkness to build our tomorrows. There’s no reward in that. God will not punish us for doing this, He will correct us if we allow ourselves to be corrected. Draw close to God. Study His Word and let the love of God in Christ increase in your heart and mind. When you do this, you’ll get rid of doubt, and you’ll only draw the blessings that God wants to give you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Holding on When You Should Let It Go”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 18, 2022
Remember, God is Watching

Why do two people decide to get married? I will venture to say that most of us will choose to utter those profound two little words, “I Do!”, because we believe we’ve met someone we don’t want to live without. Our wise mothers and grandmothers will school us on this topic. They will tell us that saying the words “I Do!” is the easiest part about marriage. They’d want us to realize that the decision regarding who we choose to walk with us through life is one we must be very careful about making. We don’t always understand that the person to whom we say those two little words will change, and so will we. Only God knows how and the extent to which we both will change. And Most importantly, only the Lord knows if we have actually chosen someone that is in our best interest, someone that He wants us to unite with. This piece of knowledge should make us see that we need God’s help, and we should seek it way before we begin planning that walk down the aisle.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 16:19(NLT), “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” All of us should realize that the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven are no small thing. This is a huge gift the Master has given us. In this verse, Jesus Christ tells us a little bit about these keys. He tells us that they both lock up and unlock some doors. He’s placed these powerful keys in our hands. This means that we decide which doors they will unlock and lock. We need look no further than our own lives to recognize that if we want to unlock a wrong door, the Lord will allow it. He placed the keys in our hands, and He will not take them back. But if we are patient and seek Him diligently, He will show us the right doors to open as well as those that need to remain locked.

You might be asking, “Well what’s the point of giving me the keys if I have to go through all this work of finding the right door? Why doesn’t God do this for me?” God has given us the gift of free-will. How we use it is up to us, but His greatest hope is that we will partner with Him in everything that we do. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. As we study His Word, we learn that His love never fails, and God’s love doesn’t restrict our choices. Just as He didn’t remove the tree of the knowledge of good and evil from the Garden of Eden, He doesn’t hinder, remove, or alter our ability to make our own choices. Love gives freedom, and we decide what we will do, who we will be, and how we will respond to the enormous gifts that God has given us.

We decide the degree to which we will honor God with our choices. We choose whether we will trust in His Word, be led of His Spirit, and lean not on our own understanding, or we can make choices based on our own agendas. It’s up to us, but we will never get away from the reality that responsibility and accountability will always come with freedom.

Galatians 3:22(NLT) tells us, “But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ.” Believing and trusting God is a choice, and He’s placed us here on this earth to make it. Sin will always be a trap that satan lays for the believer. Freedom is what we have in Christ when we believe with everything in us that choosing God’s love is always the best choice. Choosing God’s love is freedom! And therein lies the reality of free-will choice. Our choice to do what pleases God backs up our faith. James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. Making the decision to commit ourselves to please God demonstrates our faith in His Word, and this faith will bring into fruition the promise of all He has for us.

2Chronicles 16:9 tells us that the eyes of the Lord search the whole earth. What is He searching for? He’s searching to find those who have a heart that is fully committed to Him. He has made it clear in His Word that we don’t have to be perfect to have a heart that is fully committed to God, but we must be humble before Him. We must be committed to surrender to His sovereignty. So, God is watching us. He is looking to see what we do with this extraordinary gift of free-will choice. He’s looking at what we do with the responsibility that comes with it.

From the very beginning, in the Book of Genesis, God told us about the first couple. He chose the union of marriage between a man and a woman to begin our understanding of His plan. This shows us that one of the most important responsibilities of free-will choice is caring for another person’s heart. 1John 3:18(NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” So many of us are complaining about the wait, but we must remember that God is watching. Your willingness to patiently endure, to grow in Christ and increase your faith means that you understand the heft of what you’re asking for. Thank God that Christ has given you the keys, now let the Lord lead you to the right door.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Remember, God Is Watching”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 27, 2022
When You Least Expect It, It Shows Up

How many couples do you know that say they met their husband or wife at a time in their lives when they weren’t expecting it? I’ve heard it said many times. Some would argue that it doesn’t matter if a person is looking for love or not. What matters is that when they find love, they are able to keep it. There’s some merit in that school of thought as well, but we can’t overlook the reality that when we have stepped away from being consumed with finding love, love finds us. At some point it has to dawn on us that there’s a spiritual principle in the notion of meeting someone when our attention isn’t on it. This principle shows us that there’s more to meeting the right person than what we’ve thought, and it reveals most assuredly that what’s going on in our hearts and minds plays a very important part.

Jeremiah 17:7-8(NLT) gives us the basis for understanding how important the mind and heart are when it comes to proving our faith in God. It says, “7 But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. 8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” At the time God delivered these words to those living in Old Testament times, the sins of His people were notoriously disobedient. They had evil in their hearts, so much so that they made evil a part of their worship. They were so entrenched in their own kind of righteousness that they could no longer see their evil for what it was. It could be said that the women had turned their eyes and hearts from God and worshiped their men instead. They looked upon men as though they were their everything.

The same could be said of the men. They looked to their human rulers for leadership and guidance, and they totally abandoned the ways of God. Heavenly Father said in Jeremiah 17:5(NLT), “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD.” Because of the idolatrous practices of His people, God told them that the wonderful blessing He had reserved for them would slip through their hands. God had blessed His people with great wealth and prosperity, but instead of being thankful and more sincere in their worship, they became self-righteous and were blind to the true righteousness of God. The same can be said about many of us.

The luxury of modern living that we’ve been so blessed to experience has blinded our eyes. We can’t see the extent to which we’ve turned from God and began to depend on people and the systems they maneuver to make life more convenient. When we operate this way, the blessings we want most can potentially slip through our hands, and like God’s people living in earlier biblical times, we’re blinded to how far our minds and hearts have turned from God. If there’s even the slightest, most remote possibility that this has happened to you, don’t delay. Offer God your most sincere and deepest apology and repent. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. Our hearts can and do deceive us. Our circumstances will tell the story about where our hearts are, and what we’re harboring in them. As challenging as it can be, we must acknowledge our errors and repent so that our blessings are no longer blocked.

Heavenly Father rebuked those that had refused to acknowledge that all blessings come from Him. Then, in Jeremiah 17:7-8, He gave this wonderful blessed Word to those that placed their trust in Him. He said they had made HIM their hope and confidence. What does it mean to make God our hope and confidence? It means that we have emptied ourselves of all other negative thoughts, especially those that might be idolatrous, and the only thing remaining in our hearts and minds is our hope and confidence in God. Those who received His blessing had honored Him with their faith, and this is what He saw when He looked upon them; He saw their faith. He saw them as trees that were planted by the river.

When something is planted and rooted in the ground, it doesn’t move from one place to the next. It stays put and is totally dependent on the Creator for everything it needs. Like a tree that is continually nourished by the river’s water, we are totally dependent on God for everything. He has all power in His hands, and He has incredible love for us all, yet many of us love sin more than we love being committed to Him. Jeremiah was God’s mouthpiece, and he delivered harsh words to God’s people because they had strayed from Heavenly Father. It broke Jeremiah’s heart to speak to them that way, but it had to be done. The people called him a traitor because they didn’t want to hear the truth.

It is the same with many of us. We only want to hear words that tickle our ears, but we will not witness the mighty power of God if we refuse to hear His truth. Ephesians 3:20(NIV) declares, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” God is able and willing to do infinitely above anything we can imagine, but the buck stops with us. He moves according to our willingness to allow His Spirit to be at work within us. The Spirit moves where God’s Word is honored and believed. If we truly understand this, we can see why the most marvelous things can happen when we least expect them. When our confidence is anchored in God, we go on about our Father’s business, and stop worrying about things He has promised to provide.

We must remember that our sins are not forgotten until they are forgiven. Repentance comes with a heart that is humble and eager to please God and change from those things that don’t please Him. If we are ever unsure about our sin, we need only ask God for a revelation of it. He will reveal how we’ve grieved the Holy Spirit through our wrong actions. We must be ever so careful that our hearts are right with God, and that we’re not putting anything ahead of our relationship with Him. In Genesis 15:1, God came to Abraham in a vision and said to him, “Don’t be afraid, Abraham, I am your shield and I will protect you. I am your exceeding great reward.” Oh, how important this is for us to know. God is the Great I Am! He is our exceeding great reward! If this is how we truly feel about our God, we will have proven our commitment to Him. When we have made God our hope and confidence by living by the example of Christ, not only will He bless us when we least expect it, but He will make sure we are ready for the blessing He will present.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“When You Least Expect It, It Shows up!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 20, 2022
Listen Carefully to the Truth

Hebrews 2:1(NLT)
“So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.”

After hearing her mother’s lighthearted but firm warning, a twenty-three-year-old daughter chuckled and told her over the phone, “You’re going to ruin my first date before it starts.” Her daughter had met a very nice guy from her job, and they were going out on their first date. The daughter had called her mom to ask the name of the restaurant she’d taken her to a couple of months ago. She thought it would be a good place to check out. While on the phone, her mother gave her a few reminder tips on the do’s and don’ts of Christian woman etiquette. Her daughter was a bit annoyed that her mom felt she needed to be reminded. Afterall, she had been walking the straight and narrow path when it came to dating and relationships, but it had been such a long time since she met someone new. She didn’t want high expectations and standards to make her seem overanxious or under confident.

We can read scriptures in the bible multiple times, but no matter how many times we read them, the revelation we receive is always fresh and new. When it comes to dating, hearing the Word and being reminded of it continually is absolutely vital. It’s just too easy to let our minds and hearts slip to those old ways. If we allow ourselves to slip back to old thinking, behaviors, and attitudes, we can be tempted to let down our guards. Our confidence and standards can be easily eroded, and this is why it is important for us to keep ourselves spiritually sharp and alert through God’s Word.

Hebrews 2:1 reminds us that we must listen very carefully to the truth we’ve heard. To listen carefully is to pay attention to the instructions that have been spoken. It’s to take them into our hearts and keep them locked away. The psalmist, David, spoke about this in Psalm 119:11 when he said, “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” David understood that only God can rescue us, and only God’s Word can cause our eyes to be open so that we can see clearly what is before us. We are to look to God’s Word for guidance and counseling, but so many single people are willing to forego the standard of God’s Word simply to have a relationship. This is a recipe for trouble, because there is always a price to pay for not obeying God’s Word.

Having a relationship with a person we really like is wonderful, but as great as it is, it’s not on the same level as the privilege and treasure of receiving the revelation of God’s Word. The truth of God’s Word makes it possible for unity and harmony in relationships to be developed and maintained. God’s Word is the glue. If accepting God’s truth and living by it is not the basis of our faith as single people, we may not have the faith to maintain the relationship we seek. God tells us in Romans 10:17 that faith comes by hearing His Word. This means that what God has to say on a subject is more than a few sentences strung together. His Words carry His supernatural power! His Word is life to us! Faith will come and do its most perfect work where the God’s truth is honored and lived. Nothing will ever diminish the reality of this foundation.

We can’t afford to be asleep when it comes to relationships. Therefore, we shouldn’t take anything for granted. Ephesians 6:11(NLT) tells us, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” This verse makes it clear that we have a spiritual enemy, and God tells us that the way to stand against the devil is to put on every piece of God’s armor. We should never let ourselves forget that the enemy has his eyes on the unions we seek to develop, and he wants to tear those unions apart because he hates unity. God’s Word will keep us alert so that we cannot be outsmarted by the devil. God has provided this protection for our relationships, and they desperately need it. We must understand that remaining in God’s Word is the very best move we can make.

So, when the mother reminded her daughter to keep her guard up and maintain the standard of God’s Word she had been taught, she gave her daughter a jewel. She was helping her to protect what belongs to God, so that He would stay at His rightful place of honor in the daughter’s heart. To drift away from God’s truth can bring about heartbreaking circumstances that can sometimes take a long time to remedy. The consequences we face from bad choices and wrong decisions are often swift and painful. But staying true to Christ allows us to shine bright. We must trust and believe with everything in our hearts that the right man will adore our light and always respect our stand on God’s Word.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen Carefully to the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 13, 2022
Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder if the path you’re on is just not getting you where you want to go? Does it seem like you’re traveling rocky terrain and you can’t seem to build the type of momentum you expected? Many single believers feel this way about relationships and finding the right person. They’re wondering why it seems so challenging to meet someone who’s compatible and actually believes marriage is one of life’s treasures. Every day you wake up hoping it will be different from all the rest, and that you’ll meet the person that starts a new chapter for you. After a while, you start to wonder if things will ever go your way. There are folks that have gotten tired of waiting. They’ve stepped outside of Godliness and are doing whatever they want. You might be wondering if that’s a path you should take.

The first question you might consider asking yourself is “How important is it to me to wait on God?” Is this a requirement for a follower of Christ? Does God require those that are committed to Him to wait for the fulfillment of His promises? So many people have chosen not to do so. Especially in these times, more and more people are abandoning the spiritual discipline of waiting on God. Make no mistake, spiritual warfare is real, and the devil has used the desire for marriage to separate many singles from their relationship with God, and therefore, they are separated from the blessings He wants to give them.

This spiritual war began way before Adam and Eve were created. It began when satan, once a beautiful cherub, decided to rebel against Heavenly Father’s Will. The Lord said of satan in Ezekiel 28:12-15(NKJV), “You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering: the sardius, topaz, and diamond, Beryl, onyx, and jasper, Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold. The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes was prepared for you on the day you were created. “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you.”

Isaiah 14:12 tells us that God cut satan down to the ground because he destroyed the nations of the world and tried to exalt his throne above God’s stars. Isaiah 14:14 tells us that satan was full of arrogance and wanted to be like the Most High, so he was thrown out of heaven. The realm that satan oversees is utter destruction and darkness; he is trying to put us in that same bondage so that we will not fulfill the destiny in Christ that God has ordained for our lives. It is the battle of good versus evil, light versus darkness, faith versus fear, and God versus satan. The choice of which side we are going to be on is ever before us.

Psalm 27:14(NLT) says, “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” The reason that we can be brave and courageous in the wait is because the Lord does not disappoint. The Lord doesn’t fail. He is faithful to keep His promises and we can lean upon Him with absolute confidence. After a certain amount of time has gone by, we might be tricked into thinking that the Lord isn’t going to answer our prayers. We might think He’s forgotten about our need, and that He’s unhappy with us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is working both in us and in the person that will walk with us through life.

Think about where you are and all the emotional ups and downs you’ve gone through during the process of waiting. You’ve had doubts, you’ve made mistakes, and you may have resented the time it is taking. You might think to yourself, “I’ve already been patiently waiting on the Lord, and nothing is happening.” Life does not begin with marriage, nor should the fulfillment of it be dependent on marriage. Our life is in Jesus Christ! Heavenly Father doesn’t punish us for not coming to grips with this reality, but He absolutely expects that we will learn it so we can walk by faith.

God has called us to His purpose, and there is much we are called to do. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears, and we will never escape this truth. We are in the fruit producing business, and it is a spiritual trade we must master before we think about marriage. Most of us spend so little time on Kingdom business. We’re on social media, our phones, at work or doing a million other things. Some of us spend 90 -95% of our time pursuing our own agendas, and then we get upset when God doesn’t reward our lack of attention to His purpose.

Significant relationships are probably one of the most rewarding ventures in life, but they are also very challenging. Spiritual maturity is a must to sustain them. And the truth is that if we have time to complain about waiting, we’re not busy enough with Kingdom pursuits. Each night, we should be so tired from running our races for Jesus that all we think about is praying and going to sleep. God cannot be an afterthought, and He will teach us to prioritize so that this is never the case in our lives.

2Peter 3:9(NLT) tells us, “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” God’s timing is impeccable. It is so on point that it would blow our minds to know just how truly perfect His timing is. He doesn’t make mistakes, and He is not withholding our blessings. He is being patient for our sakes. He’s giving us time to sharpen our level of spiritual maturity so that we can handle the sometimes rocky terrain of marriage.

God doesn’t want us destroying one of His treasures, and He doesn’t want anyone harming us either. He doesn’t want us hurting someone and impeding their spiritual journey in Christ because we haven’t learned to be kind, compassionate, and unselfish. He doesn’t want anyone’s heart to be crushed by another person’s habit of carrying resentment, acting out in anger, and doubting His goodness. Heavenly Father is going to protect His treasures even when they don’t realize that this is what He’s doing. So, if you are wondering if you’ll have to wait longer, you might. But know that if you continue to do what He’s called you to do, and grow in Christ, He will answer your prayers and His timing will be perfect.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Ever Wonder?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 6, 2022
Work, Waiting, Want, and Will

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 30, 2022
The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time

Luke 19:5-6(NLT)
“5 When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” 6 Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. 7 But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.”

Luke 19 tells us that Zacchaeus was known throughout the region for being the chief tax collector, and he had become a very successful man. He was also a very short man, and in our day, the stigma about short men is common knowledge. Over the years, some in society have viewed shorter men as less strong or powerful, and because of this, some shorter men overcompensate. They feel the need to be over achievers, and overly aggressive or domineering. We don’t know if Zacchaeus felt this way, but we do know from God’s Word that he had earned himself a high rank and was viewed as a person of authority. Zacchaeus was rich, and Jesus Christ talked about how difficult it was for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Those with great possession and wealth make a habit of clinging to the entrapment of those things. They value wealth more than they do faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and this way of operating ends in damnation. Zacchaeus stands out because on the day he met Jesus Christ face to face, his short stature meant that he had to do quite a bit of maneuvering. He knew the encounter with Christ would change him forever, and that it would be a treasure more valuable than any in the earth. This record is a profound spiritual lesson for the believer, because it demonstrates the heart that is necessary to abide in the love, power, and faith of Jesus Christ.

Many single people are wondering why the quest to cross paths with the person that is right for their lives isn’t immediate. They want results on the double and don’t understand why this blessing doesn’t materialize on demand. Sometimes, the delay is due to how a person views the desire for marriage and how they are feeling about it in their hearts. They view it as a necessity, God views it as a reward for being faithful to His purpose. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing and perceiving the Word of God. When we break this down a little bit, we understand that faith can either be stagnant or faith can move. God’s Word is the truth. It is the definitive authority on every subject, aspect, and detail of life and living. God’s Word causes faith to come. Many single people don’t know the Word of God as well as they should, and you can’t have faith in something you don’t know or don’t believe. The knowledge of God’s Word that we do not know can cause us to walk around with a stagnant faith.

Given his short stature, Zacchaeus had a very strong determination, and it demonstrated his faith. To get through a crowd of others that were clamoring for the Master and to be able to climb a tree in hopes of getting a glimpse of Jesus Christ was evidence of how Zacchaeus had prioritized this encounter. He already had great wealth and affluence, yet these things had not fulfilled him. He knew there was more to life and would not let the opportunity to meet Jesus slip by him.

Every believer that is single and desiring marriage has to ask themselves if they feel this way about an encounter with Jesus Christ. At the time during which Zacchaeus desired to meet Christ, the new birth reality was not yet available. Zacchaeus did not have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within him, yet his desire for Christ far exceeds many of us living today.

We can’t fake the intentions of our hearts before God. He knows us too well. He knows us through and through, and He is fully aware of our motivations. This is one of the reasons that Zacchaeus received the tremendous blessing of salvation, because his heart was where it needed to be. The people in the crowd grumbled because they didn’t think Zacchaeus deserved to be in the company of the Master, but he had a heart for God, and this is all that mattered. James 2:26 gives us the definitive truth on this. It says, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” Zacchaeus didn’t wait to be told how to demonstrate his thankfulness to God. Luke 19:8(NKJV) tells us, “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.” This man’s deeds—his good works—demonstrated the condition of his heart. He wanted God to be pleased with his life and had done the things required to show it.

We must be clear that marital partnership isn’t necessary for ambassadorship in Christ, but commitment is. Jesus tells us in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given, much is required. We must demonstrate our willingness to give our all to God through Jesus Christ. This is the attitude and heart-set that is rewarded. It was Zacchaeus’s heart that moved Jesus Christ to call him down from a sycamore tree. Zacchaeus had the right heart, and because he did, it put him at the right place at the right time. Let his example be your motivation, so that the same can be said of you. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 23, 2022
Showing God Your Proof

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of a man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2022
Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down

I watched an interview of an actress promoting her new movie. She had also recently celebrated her first wedding anniversary with her husband. She talked about how supportive her husband has been of her career, and that its one of the reasons she didn’t hesitate to say ‘yes’ when he asked her to marry him. She is awed by his unwavering commitment to his word. “He’s never been inconsistent about his intentions towards me and our relationship, and he honored my commitment to remain celibate while we were dating.” I was blown away to hear this woman’s admission of celibacy. It’s almost unheard of today, especially in the entertainment world.

They dated for almost a year before he popped the question, and many of us who walk this walk know that it isn’t always easy to be committed to celibacy. This is why the interview struck a chord with me. To be true to a vow of abstinence while also being in a committed relationship, it takes diligence and a determination to honor God above all else. Additionally, both individuals must honor each other. Keeping this vow is a tremendous way to know exactly what kind of person you’re working with. If a person has the ability to remain committed to God’s standards when they are dating you, then there’s a pretty good chance this person will remain committed to the marriage and to you when things get tough.

Keeping it real, there are going to be many occasions where you must tell your flesh to stand down. Standing down is often used in a military setting. It’s when someone goes off duty or withdraws from a position or state of readiness or alert. Well, the flesh is on duty all the time, and it wants what it believes will bring it the most pleasure. Galatians 5:19-21(NLT) lists the desires of the flesh as “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” The body is the flesh, and it was not created by God to be the leader of our destinies. The body is God’s temple. It houses God’s Spirit; therefore, we must honor our bodies as the place where God lives.

The Apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:20(NLT), “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” We can’t live by the mind of the flesh and live by the Spirit at the same time. One of them will win out and we are the ones to choose the winner. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are commanded to walk in the Spirit and not do what our sinful natures crave. We are able to make the right choice because God has empowered us through Christ to stand strong in the power of His might.

Again, even for Christians, the thought of putting the flesh under subjection is not something that comes easy. I’ve heard many single Christian women make the statement that they don’t think they could ever be successful in remaining celibate during dating. The truth of the matter is that we must always bring everything back to what God says. If you’re not willing to honor what God says from the beginning of your relationship, can you really have faith that it will last? It’s not about what the man will and won’t accept, it’s about whose word you trust the most, the man’s or God’s!

Proverbs 21:2(NLT) tells us, “People may be right in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their heart.” The Lord tells us that He is a Righteous Judge that gives everyone what they deserve. He looks at our hearts to see if His love is living there, or if idolatry is living there. We always think we know what’s best for us. If there’s a significant person in our lives right now, we may even believe he’s the right fit, but only God knows the truth. Only God knows what the absolute best is, and He looks at our hearts to measure our true intentions. He sees if our desire is to partner in marriage as an effort to honor Him or if we’re only interested in hooking up to satisfy our fleshly desires.

I’ve had many conversations with single women that have entertained circumstances designed to interrupt God’s plan for their lives. Even if you aren’t aware or paying attention to what’s going on around you, you should pay close attention to what is going on inside your own heart and mind. Sometimes women are not understanding the thoughts and intentions they hold that get in the way of receiving answers to their prayers. They don’t believe change is necessary, but the answer to whether it is or not can only be found in Christ. We need him to tell us what we should and shouldn’t change.

Old behaviors, old habit patterns and old ways of thinking keep us from reaching our full potential in the Lord. These things will keep us stagnant, spinning our wheels, and we’ll lose out on God’s blessings if we don’t wake up. Now is the time to seek God through prayer and through studying His Word. This is the way to demonstrate that we’re serious about our commitment to Christ. It is the way to lay out the welcome mat for newness. We should ask the Lord what we need to do differently. We must tell our flesh to stand down so that our spiritual ears are perked up to hear from Him. Then we’ll hear His voice loud and clear. It will give us confidence to know that the man God presents is the treasure we’ve been praying to receive. This man will know in his heart that we are a treasure as well, and there will be no question in his mind that we are well worth the wait. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 9, 2022