Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women Ministry

  • God Is Always Watching

    God Is Always Watching

    Ephesians 5:15 (NLT) delivers a powerful truth: “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” This verse reminds us that God sees it all, and He’s watching not just what we do but also our faith and love. He knows the motivation behind every choice and action we make, and when we’re careful how we live, our faith and love towards God will manifest in our lives in a powerful way!

    Let me introduce you to Yvonne’s journey towards this realization. She’s the epitome of a multitasker—juggling motherhood, a job as a travel agent, moonlighting as a hair braider, and a dedicated member of her church’s choir.  But what truly sets her apart isn’t just her busy schedule; it’s her knack for making everyone feel at home in her braiding chair. People spill their life stories to her, knowing she’s a vault of trust. She learned early on that gossiping wasn’t her style—partly because it’s messy, but also because her grandma drummed into her that God isn’t a fan of this practice at all.

    After hearing so many of her clients’ stories of heartbreak and mistakes, Yvonne offered a consoling ear, but she was also making mental notes and praying to the Lord that she would never find herself in their situations. The wisdom of Micah 6:8 (NLT) says, “The LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Yvonne’s grandmother taught her this very basic tenet of our faith. We must do what is right, love acts of compassion, forgiveness, and kindness, and we must throw arrogance to the wind and always be humble towards our Heavenly Father. This Godly wisdom had been Yvonne’s backbone and helped to guide her out of many of the challenges she had faced in life. Recently, though, she’s been struggling with it.

    Two years after her divorce, her last relationship was another crash course in heartache. She dove in heart first, only to spend months picking up the pieces. Her grandma’s voice echoed in her head, urging her to wise up and stop chasing after the wrong things, but that voice was drowned out by Yvonne’s refusal to let this man go and obey God.

    A pattern of on-again-off-again summed up many of her other client’s relationships, and some of them were dating the same man and didn’t even know it. They relentlessly pursued men that were non-committal and unfaithful. Yvonne had vowed to never allow herself to be taken in like that, but there she was—stalking, obsessed over a man who simply wasn’t interested in loving her.

    Jesus Christ states in Matthew 6:33(NLT): “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This isn’t just a piece a wisdom to be placed on a shelf somewhere; it’s a game-changer! Our commitment to the Father must be wholehearted. God is watching. He sees our hearts, and they tell Him the condition of our love and faith towards Him. Don’t be unwise and let the enemy trap you by fooling you into idolatry. Get your head and heart into living this life of Christ and become more grounded in your love and faith towards God.

    Instead of blindly following our emotions, we need to question our motives, learn from our blunders, and stick close to God’s Word. Yvonne woke up, switched gears, and surrendered her all to the Lord, and this is the move many of us desperately need to make, especially at this juncture in our lives. As we grow older, we must realize that time is a precious commodity. We can’t afford to waste it stumbling through life. Whether we missed out on life lessons or chose to ignore them, we can’t hit rewind. As women of God, we’ve got to be strategic, walking in wisdom, truth, and God’s guidance every step of the way. This is the path that pleases Him, and it will always lead to His blessings and peace. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God Is Always Watching”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Eyes Are on You

    Eyes Are on You

    Not Everything Needs an Audience

    Luke 16:10 (NLT) reminds us of something that reaches deeper than we often realize: “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” This isn’t just about money or tasks—it’s about stewardship of everything God entrusts to us, including our relationships. Spiritual maturity shows up in how we handle what looks small. Because what we do in private…is never actually small in the eyes of God.

    And this is where many of us have to slow down and be honest.

    We can be quick to bring people into spaces God never told us to open—especially when it comes to relationships. There’s a temptation to talk too soon, share too much, and invite opinions before we’ve even sought God fully. Giving people front-row access to something that’s still forming can introduce confusion, pressure, and unnecessary interference. Not everything needs commentary. Some things need covering—the kind that thrives in discretion.

    I remember someone once said to me, “You’re really good at keeping people out of your business.” At first, I didn’t know how to take that. But over time, I realized—it wasn’t distance, it was discernment. There’s a difference between being open and being unguarded. One is led by wisdom…the other isn’t.

    Wisdom knows when to speak…and when to be still. Proverbs 13:3 (NLT) tells us, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” That’s not just about avoiding trouble—it’s about preserving what God is doing. Because once something is spoken, it’s no longer just between you and God. It’s been released into other minds, other interpretations, and other influences.

    And we have to understand—everything doesn’t need to be exposed in order to grow properly.

    If we’re not careful, we’ll assume every voice around us is there to help—but Scripture shows us that’s not true. In Job’s life, it wasn’t just loss he was dealing with—the enemy was actively at work, and the wrong voices showed up right on time. Job 2:2 (NLT) says, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” That’s not symbolic—that’s strategy. The enemy watches—he looks for openings, and when he finds one, he doesn’t always come directly—sometimes he works through people. That’s why discernment isn’t optional. We’re not called to live in fear, but we are called to live aware—and to move with wisdom about who we allow to speak into what God is doing in our lives.

    Wisdom knows how to guard what God is building.

    This is why discretion matters. Not fear. Not secrecy. But Spirit-led restraint. Some things are meant to be prayed through before they’re spoken about. Some things need time to take root before they’re shared. And some things are simply meant to remain between you and God.

    When we lack discernment, we can unintentionally expose what should have been covered. But when we walk in wisdom, we create space for God to move without interference, without noise, and without unnecessary pressure.

    So instead of asking, “Who can I tell?”—we start asking, “Lord, what are You saying?”

    Because faith requires focus. And focus requires guarding what God has placed in your hands.

    Not everything needs an audience.
    And everything God gives deserves to be handled with care. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Eyes Are on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Embracing the Companionship of Pure Hearts

    Embracing the Companionship of Pure Hearts

    Who You Walk With Will Shape How You Walk

    Through the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT), God gives us instruction that is both protective and directional: “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” Notice that this isn’t just about what to avoid—it’s about what to pursue, and who to pursue it with. Because whether we realize it or not, the people in our lives are either reinforcing our alignment with God…or quietly pulling us away from it. Spiritual strength doesn’t happen by accident—it’s maintained intentionally. We don’t drift into it. And we don’t stay anchored in Christ while constantly listening to voices that don’t honor Him.

    This becomes especially clear when we look at relationships. Some consider marriage as a way to resolve physical desire—but if we’re honest, that foundation won’t hold. When a relationship is built primarily on what the body wants, it won’t have the depth to sustain what covenant requires. God never designed marriage to be a quick answer to desire. He designed it as a reflection of something holy, something intentional, something that carries weight beyond emotion and impulse. So the real question isn’t just “Do we want each other?” It’s “Are we aligned with God’s purpose for this union?”

    Emotions can feel convincing. They can rise quickly and speak loudly. But they are not designed to lead. When we allow feelings to take the lead, we often make decisions that our spirit hasn’t agreed with. And that’s where confusion enters. Marriage, by God’s design, requires more than emotional connection—it requires spiritual clarity, maturity, and a willingness to walk in obedience even when feelings fluctuate. Physical intimacy has its place, but it was never meant to carry the weight of the relationship. When commitment, faithfulness, and reverence for God lead, the relationship has something solid to stand on.

    Matthew 19:4–5 (NLT) reminds us what Jesus Himself says about marriage: “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’”

    God’s design for marriage is not casual, and it’s not something we define based on what feels right in the moment. It is intentional, weighty, and deeply spiritual. When two people come together in covenant, they are not just sharing life—they are stepping into something God Himself established. That kind of union requires more than attraction. It requires understanding, surrender, and a willingness to honor God not just at the beginning, but all the way through. Because becoming “one” is not a feeling—it’s a lifelong yielding.

    Genesis 2:18 (NLT) sheds light on the heart behind this design: “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” That word helper speaks to partnership, support, and alignment—not dependency rooted in emptiness. Marriage was never meant to fill a void or quiet loneliness. It was created as a divine partnership where two people walk together in purpose, strengthening one another as they follow God. If we enter it trying to fix what only God can heal, we place pressure on the relationship that it was never designed to carry.

    This is why Paul’s instruction in 2 Timothy 2:22 matters so much. The call to pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace isn’t meant to be lived out in isolation. It’s meant to be supported by the company we keep. When you surround yourself with people who genuinely call on the Lord with hearts that honor Him, something shifts. There is accountability. There is wisdom. There is covering. You begin to make decisions from a place of alignment instead of impulse. And you start to recognize that who you walk with will either strengthen your obedience…or slowly erode it.

    Some of us have underestimated this. We’ve allowed voices into our lives that sound good but aren’t grounded. We’ve entertained relationships that stir emotion but don’t strengthen our walk. And over time, that misalignment shows up in our choices. But God, in His wisdom, has already given us the pattern. Pursue what is right. Stay anchored in Him. And be intentional about who you allow to walk closely with you.

    Proverbs 13:20 (NLT) says, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” Pure-hearted companionship isn’t just something that feels good—it actually guards you. When you’re connected to people who genuinely love God and stand on His Word like you do, you’re not just gaining company—you’re gaining strength. These are the ones who speak life, pray with you and for you, and offer wisdom that keeps you grounded. They’re committed to walking through real life with you, helping you stay aligned in faith, love, and a true reverence for our Heavenly Father.

    So let His wisdom guide this area of your life. Because the company you keep is never neutral—it’s always shaping the direction you’re headed. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “Embracing the Companionship of Pure Hearts”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I’ve Been Single Long Enough

    I’ve Been Single Long Enough

    “It’s still too early to tell, but I really like this guy I’m seeing…” Vanessa, a good friend I’ve known for many years, confided in me. Despite her hopefulness, she harbors a hint of pessimism, fearing that any man she meets might ultimately disappoint her, leaving her single and unmarried for yet another year.

    Matthew 6:34 (ESV) advises us, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” However, convincing a 43-year-old single Christian woman not to be anxious about dating a new man can be met with skepticism. She may push back with words like, “Grrl! Do you know how long I’ve been single?” Yet, while we may think we know what’s best for us, God truly understands every aspect of our being, from head to toe. He knows all about our years of being single.

    Older, more mature women often have a clear idea of the qualities they desire in a partner: financial stability, gainful employment, faithfulness, and readiness for marriage. On the other hand, younger Christian women tend to be more fearless, willing to take risks and chances in their dating lives. Despite these differences, both groups share one commonality: the belief that waiting for God’s approval yields the best outcomes in partnerships.

    1John 4:19(NKJV) eloquently and plainly states: “We love Him because He first loved us.” God is love, and He has created everything out of His unwavering love for us all. Romans 5:5 tells us that God has poured His love into our lives through His precious Holy Spirit. We, then, must understand that love never originates from external sources because its true foundation lies within us through Jesus Christ. So, the first step in accepting love for oneself is surrendering to the love of Jesus. Loving him, making him Lord, is the greatest thing any of us can ever do in this life; it’s relinquishing control and entrusting our lives to the one who loved us first.

    Romans 10:9-10 (NKJV) establishes this truth: “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

    Over the years, I’ve encountered many single women hoping that the next man they meet will be “the one” to validate years of waiting. However, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not someone else’s responsibility to shape and define the love we expect to receive. If we’re not accustomed to putting God first and loving ourselves and others through His love, distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy love becomes challenging. We then become a slave to feeling around in the dark, not truly knowing who’s going to hurt or hinder our hearts.

    God offers us a better approach. He tells us in Philippians 4:6-7(NLT): “6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers is part of surrendering to God’s plan. It takes courage and strength to believe that God’s way is best. No human being is perfect; we all have room for growth, which is why partnering with someone requires that we are prepared with spiritual strength and the flexibility of God’s love.

    Many are firm in their conviction, “I’ve been single long enough!” They believe it’s time for a change, and indeed it is. We must acknowledge that confronting our vulnerabilities and insecurities with faith is a mandate from God; we won’t get away from this. For some, it’s a fear of being perceived as inadequate or unlovable. Others of us simply haven’t made the kind of commitment to Him that God seeks. It all comes down to our faith in Him. It must grow. Embracing this truth should motivate us to greater love and dispel any doubt that God will bless us in life and marriage. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “I’ve Been Single Long Enough”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • When Love Turns Sour

    When Love Turns Sour

    One of the lessons that we quickly learn as adults is that relationships require work, and sometimes lots of it. Most of us conclude that we grossly underestimated just how much work it takes to make a relationship last. When we’re dating, we might find ourselves being the one that makes an ample investment into the man’s life, and sometimes that investment isn’t equally reciprocated. Thinking about walking away is very challenging, but we must be clear that mishandling things at this vulnerable juncture is never wise. The love we had for this man can sour and turn to bitterness. When that happens, our own fellowship with God is in jeopardy. We lose the heart and authority to be an effective witness of Christ in the life of someone that we could have influenced and impacted profoundly for God’s Kingdom. This is dangerous, and we really need to think things through.

    In Luke 17:1-4(NLT), Jesus Christ taught the disciples, “1There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

    In this passage, “one of these little ones” is a person that God has predestined as one of His own. Some believe that he is referring to young children only, but Jesus is referring to all God’s children, especially those that are just getting started  in the Word and learning the Way. All of us are offended at some point, this is true, but Jesus warns that woe is the fate of someone that causes spiritual infants to become so offended in the faith that they fall into sin.

    Many of us claim to have our eyes so steadfastly fixed upon the Master, but when a man comes into our lives, some of us forget who we are. Meeting someone new and having a relationship with him is not a time to let our stand on the solid rock to slip, especially when we’re not clear about what we’re working with while dating. Our eyes must be fixed upon Jesus Christ no matter who is in our lives or what our agendas may be. God commands us in 1Corinthians 16:13(NKJV) to “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.” We can never let our guards down in a relationship. The love of Christ should be our first priority, and it must be the lasting witness we leave on anyone we meet.

    James 1:22(NLT) tells us, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” We can be sure of one thing; the love of God in Christ never sours. If we’re unsure about that truth, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re obligated by Christ to love others with his brand of love, not our own. 1Corinthians 13:4 tells us that his love—real, true, authentic love—is forgiving, kind, keeps no record of being wronged and doesn’t demand its own way. If this isn’t the love we’re prepared to give to the man we desire, it isn’t the love we should expect to receive.

    It’s entirely possible that “One of these little ones” is the person we’re dating, and if we place our agenda ahead of God’s agenda for their lives, we’re not behaving like doers of the Word but deceiving ourselves. It’s our responsibility as believers to guard our hearts so that we don’t get out of pocket and change the trajectory of a man’s relationship with God. We must pray for this not to happen so that we are the kind of witnesses God is pleased with.

    Ephesians 6:11(NKJV) tells us, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It would be naïve of us to think that the enemy will not try to make our hearts, or the hearts of our boyfriends, sour in our relationships. We should know that this is his target, and if we allow him to win in one relationship, we will most likely do it in others. God offers us a better way and it is to put on the whole armor that He provides. We must be diligent to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ, so that if our hearts grow sour in any relationship we are blessed to cultivate, we will turn them to the sweetness of Christ through forgiveness, patience, and a desire to always put God first. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When Love Turns Sour”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few

    The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few

    Matthew 9:37-38(NLT)
    “He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.””

    The word, “harvest” is a very good one, and a good harvest is a very beautiful thing. Harvest is connected to increase, and increase is what many of us are praying to receive in this season of our lives. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 9:38 to pray to the Lord that is in charge of the harvest, and he doesn’t stop there. He tells us exactly what we ought to be praying for. We should be praying that God will send more workers in the field. Jesus also makes it plain to us that our Heavenly Father is the Owner of the harvest, the fields, and the workers, and this is a very important piece of knowledge for us to have.

    During the time in which he walked the earth, in Matthew 9:37, Jesus Christ told the disciples that the harvest was great, but the workers that were needed to bring in the harvest were few. This is very much the condition of our time as well. There is so much confusion and despair in the world today. It’s chaotic and dark, with divisions and strife everywhere. People desperately need the kind of direction and guidance that our God can give, and it’s our responsibility and privilege to share the saving grace of our Father in Heaven. We might think to ourselves, “It’s not that many people out there that truly want to know about Jesus.” None of us can really say whether this is true or not, but even if this number is shrinking, as followers of Christ, it isn’t our concern.

    God is in charge of the harvest. He takes care of that. Our responsibility is to do as He has commanded. We must make sure that we haven’t missed a beat when it comes to following the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and that as laborers in God’s fields, we have used our span of influence to bless and uplift according to the Spirit’s direction. There should be no doubt in our minds that discipleship is extremely important to backing our faith and positioning ourselves to please God.

    Jesus Christ told the disciples in Mark 16:15(NLT), “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.” This is the Great Commission, to share the Gospel, make disciples of those who want to accept Christ, and teach them so they can be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is how we partner with God, and 2Corinthians 6:1(NLT) says, “As God’s partners, we beg you not to accept this marvelous gift of God’s kindness and then ignore it.” When we have accepted the gift of salvation, we can’t ignore it by keeping it to ourselves. It’s the love of God in Christ! We are required to share it. This is the one crucial truth that many single believers miss.

    We must understand that a heart that is eager and diligent to carry forth the Great Commission is the same heart that God requires in a man and woman before they marry. The harvest, the field, and the workers all belong to our Heavenly Father, and 1Corinthians 3:9 tells us that we are both God’s workers and His field. So, it’s not about our agendas, it’s about God’s Will and plan. 1Corinthians 3:7 says that the one who plants aren’t more important than the One who waters. Our Heavenly Father is our everything! It’s all about Him, and when we commit ourselves to the work that He’s called us to do, we will witness a harvest in every area of our lives.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

    Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

    Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

    Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

    God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

    I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

    There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

    God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there.  Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

    Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

    Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

    Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.

    Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.

    They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.

    Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.

    Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.

    We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.

    The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.

    Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.

    After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.

    Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.

    Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.

    He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.

    Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Romance Cannot Replace the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Lord Sees It Differently

    The Lord Sees It Differently

    1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
    “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his older sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were taller, hardworking,  and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

    I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their idea of how he should look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and overall level of attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they’ve had in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

    This can be a challenge to work through, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God has set those according to His plan for your life. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” His desire is that we prioritize what He deems important at the top of our lists, because He always knows what is best for us. If we don’t line up our thoughts and convictions to give God the highest place of authority in our quest for marriage, we will keep ourselves separated from the blessing we desire.

    Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of being dissatisfied with the outcomes of our choices and decisions. Heavenly Father deserves all the glory! He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. He never makes a mistake, and His delight is to bless His children. He never intended us to navigate life on our own. Walking and talking with Him, and receiving His divine leadership and guidance was always the kind of relationship He wanted with us. Yes, we may be adults and able to make decisions for ourselves, but God sees it differently. He sees us as children who need His help to live a successful life of faith. He is willing to help us cross paths with the person that is right for us, and He will help us with any other issues or desires. He will always steer us in the right direction, and we must put Him in His rightful place of honor as He guides us to higher blessings through our faith and obedience to His Word. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Lord Sees It Differently”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Bridge Not Easily Crossed

    The Bridge Not Easily Crossed

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NIV), “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken;”

    The thing that speaks to me uniquely regarding this passage in Ecclesiastes 4 is that its wisdom takes out all the fuss we add to relationships. God delivers His standard here, and it is very simple common sense; this is what I love. Its practical guidance is beneficial no matter your situation. Whether you’re single, married or divorced, the principle of strength in unity and partnership can be applied across the board. If you’re finding the process of going from single to married to be a bridge not easily crossed, don’t allow yourself to be discouraged or deterred. Cling to the simplicity and common sense of God’s standard and let Him guide you as you cross the bridge from single to married.

    You can’t do it without God
    The principle reality about any quest we attempt to undertake is that we can’t do it without God. The truth of this goes without saying, but still many of us neglect to pray and be obedient in a way that signals we are letting Him lead. Nothing makes sense without God, but with Him, the quests we think are complicated and difficult are made light and far less challenging. God is about increase, sharing, and unity, because all of these, and much more, embody what it means to love in the way that He does. This doesn’t mean that being single is a negative thing. It’s not. It gives us time to concentrate and focus on our relationship with God. Some might feel they’ve had a little too much time for this, but God is the Judge of that. He knows when our hearts are full of His love. And He also knows when we are at a point spiritually when we will not shortchange our time with Him simply because we have a new man in our lives.

    The simple truth He is revealing is that His Will is that people stand together and help one another. He loves unity, and He wants us to know this. So, when we’re at a point of praying that we’ll meet a good man and get married, we are praying to expand our lives by caring for and supporting another person. This is fruitful because God makes it plain for us in Ecclesiastes 4:10 that with two, you’ll have a better return on your labor. This means you can accomplish more things together than you would alone, but we must never forget that our working together with another must be fueled by our honor and obedience to God.

    You must use your time now to pray that God teaches you the lessons that are specific to being the helpmate your spouse needs. You must have God’s guidance for this. Without His love guiding us, we become confused and entangled with too many expectations and too little spiritual discipline.

    Know how to help each other up

    In Hosea 4:6(ESV), God said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge.” Heavenly Father is speaking directly to us, His children, and He’s telling us that we can be severely harmed because we have refused to know Him as well as we should. Many single people have not applied discipline when it comes to reading and studying God’s Word. If they are not doing it while they are single, they probably will not do it when they become married. Because they haven’t used their time as singles to study God’s Word, they won’t be able to withstand some of the rigors of married life. They’ve neglected to heed God’s warning in Hosea 4:6, yet they expect to be blessed with a lasting marital union. This is not a spiritually mature posture.

    Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. Diligence is a discipline. It is evidenced by a consistent pattern that becomes a habit. Once we have worked a habit pattern of diligence in our lives, it stays with us. The characteristic of diligence towards the things of God helps to preserve our marital unions, and we can’t be ignorant about this. God’s requirement and expectation is that we will be a helper to our spouses. He expects that we will allow Him to work through us so we can help our spouses up when they fall. However, if we are not seasoned in His Word, we’re not even helping ourselves, so how can we help a spouse?  We must be diligent about the things of God, so that we are spiritually prepared to help our spouses in the way God has ordained.

    Make a cord of three strands
    Jesus Christ must be the head of our marriages. His love is the glue that holds it together. It is inevitable in a marriage that there will be disagreements. Some marriages don’t survive them. Weaknesses of the spouses are weaponized by the devil to put a wedge between the couple. When neither spouse has built within them a habit pattern of prayer and walking in the Spirit, small things fester and slowly become layered over time. But when one of them has the faith to press into God and let Jesus Christ take the wheel, the Holy Spirit can strengthen their union. This is how the spouses together with Christ build the strong cord of three, and it will withstand the plots of the enemy that are designed to come against their union.

    Knowledge about God’s Word is our greatest weapon, and when we don’t have it, life can be extremely difficult. If we are without the Godly wisdom necessary to be the good helpmate that Heavenly Father desires, the enemy will continually steal the opportunities that are necessary for us to cross paths with our destiny partner. We will be stuck on the bridge, never crossing it because we’re blinded by a lack of knowledge. We won’t see the very instruments that lead to our blessing. God loves unity, and you must pray and ask Him to teach you to work together with your spouse. He requires you to diligently apply yourself to this before you marry. You must get into His Word, so that you are spiritually strengthened and prepared to be the helpmate God desires you to be. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “The Bridge Not Easily Crossed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.