Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women Ministry

Listen, Learn, and Love

“31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love. Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 23, 2023
We Have A Job to Do!

James 1:21-24(NLT)
“21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

You and I have a job to do! And it’s going to require more out of you than your comfort zone may allow, but – when the job is finished, your soul will be saved. God has given us specific instructions. He tells us to get rid of the filth and evil in our lives, and make no mistake, God says what He means, and He means what He says. Not only must we remove the cancerous evil from our souls, but we must humbly accept the Word that God has planted in our hearts. This is plain and simple instruction. All of us have some stuff we’re holding on to that is blocking our blessings and keeping us from being who God has called us to be. Our spirits are perfect through our new birth transformation, but the soul is another story. It’s the soul that keeps us from receiving the blessings we desire most.

We all have some cleaning up to do in our lives. It is essential that we commit to this work so that our souls will accept the Word that God has planted in us through His Holy Spirit. The Word is there, deep inside our human spirits, but our souls have a different agenda. The soul wants to keep holding on to the things we used to do before Jesus Christ became the head of our lives. These are the things that the devil is using to intercept our blessings, and this is one of the reasons why we get close to what we want, but it slips away. It’s stolen from us because some of our old habit patterns provide just the opening that satan uses to come into our lives and rob us.

God warns us in James 1:23 not to be the kind of person that listens to His Word and doesn’t do what it says, because we’re only fooling ourselves when we do this. Our circumstances and situations will always be the proof in the pudding. They will always show us exactly where our heads and hearts are. They will show us whether we’re just giving lip service to God, or whether we genuinely and sincerely aim to please Him with our whole lives.

Hebrews 12:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us 0strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Some of us are carrying weight from previous hurtful relationships, and we have never taken the time to ask the Father if the weight of deep pain we’ve gone through is slowing us down and tripping us up.

Sometimes, the hurt we’ve experienced causes us to go for the jugular in disagreements. We go from zero to sixty when something is said or done that hits our sore spot. When we’ve gone through situations where our partners indulge infidelity, many of us shutdown our hearts. We don’t let anyone get too close, and we put on a façade, never allowing new people to see who we really are. Then, there are women that have made the man they are involved with their everything. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ commands us to seek God first in all that we do. Our relationships with God must be our number one priority, but many women conduct themselves in direct opposite to the commandment of Christ. In their past relationships, they focused all their energy on the man, and ignored their relationship with Heavenly Father. This is a sin that they’ve never repented from.

The fear of experiencing the pain of loneliness is what drives many of us to undermine our own spiritual well-being. We don’t stop to think that God is the One who holds everything together, and without His blessing, nothing will work the way it should. He’s the One that we should be seeking, because He takes care of us. Our Heavenly Father sees everything, and He sees what we can’t see in our past, present, and future. He knows when we are not walking by faith but yielding to fear. He doesn’t punish us, He helps us.

One of the toughest jobs that we may endure is understanding how to recognize the specific thing(s) that hinder our walk with God. This is why He’s given us His Holy Spirit and placed him in the inner sanctum of our beings. We’ve got work to do! As future wives and/or mothers, we are to be conduits of God’s love, and this means that we can’t allow ourselves to be buffeted by satan and all the fear he tries to bring into our lives. We must trust Hebrews 11:6, that God is a Rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. He rewards us when we put Him first, study and obey His Word, and release the things that hold us back. We should forgive ourselves for past mistakes, but our first order of business is to confront this stuff, seek God’s forgiveness, and get on with the business of growing and maturing in Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“We Have a Job to Do!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 16, 2023
Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

There are two very important practices to spiritually preparing to partner that a believer can’t afford to neglect. The first is practicing the fruit of patience. The fruit of the Spirit belong to him, the Holy Spirit, and his fruit are produced through us. Anything that belongs to the Spirit is holy, perfect, and pure. Therefore, you and I have no other choice but to conclude that the outcome of exhibiting patience is going to be powerful, and it is going to be to our liking. Knowing this piece of truth adds to our faith and wisdom. So, patience should be looked upon as an extreme blessing and not a chore.

Impatience is a lack of patience. It is an intolerance or irritability of delays. In many cases, it reflects our refusal to increase our believing towards faith. When it comes to finding the right person, many women are impatient with the wait. If you were to peel back the layers of their impatience, you might find they are worried and anxious that God is not going to give them the desires of their hearts. So, doubt is the root cause of their impatience. God’s remedy for this can be found in Philippians 4:6(NLT), where He tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

Philippians 4:6 is God’s tool for building our confidence. It is a ‘new nature’ attitude and mentality, one where we shift out of doubt and into believing God, no matter how circumstances appear. This is a workout for our faith muscle, and it is a mandatory exercise, one that God will not allow us to skip. Understanding this is critical to growing in spiritual maturity and preparation. It’s the reason why I advised a young woman to use caution regarding someone she had recently met.

When I inquired how they’d met, she told me that it was through a mutual acquaintance. They started talking over social media, and she suggested they continue their conversations via text and offered him her phone number. She asked my advice regarding how she should proceed. She’s wanted to meet a compatible mate for a long time, and I shared my delight that she had met someone. I also cautioned her to give herself time and only respond to what he does. She said, “But what if he doesn’t reach out anymore?” I advised, “Wait for his response. It’s the only way you’ll know what you’re working with. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know it’s not for you.”

The beauty of ‘wait’ is the maturation of our believing. The world’s standard is, “Grrl! You better make that move!” but that isn’t God’s standard. His way is “Be still and know that I am God.” When we practice the fruit of patience, God will not allow us to miss a blessing. We must have faith that the right man will always respond. It’s destiny at work!

The second practice is that of knowing what to do during the wait. The antsy-ness or impatience we experience during the wait is typically because we don’t know what to do with our time. It doesn’t occur to many people that God is our Creator, and that He meant for us to spend all our available time in fellowship, worship, and praying to Him through Christ. This is absolutely God’s expectation. Jesus Christ told us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to get to the Father, and his way is to be in continual fellowship with God and to have an intimate relationship with Him.

When a woman yearns for a relationship with a man, she must be super careful that her longing is not weightier than her willingness to give God her time. For instance, if a person refuses to make reading the Bible, praying, and seeking to put on more of the example of Christ a meaningful part of their daily practices, they can’t expect to boost their believing towards marriage. That would be an unreasonable expectation. It’s not a workable strategy. God’s Will and Word is that we put on more of Christ, because when we walk in Christ as fully as we can, blessings will chase us down. Jesus Christ told us this in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:26 (NLT), “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” God is our Sufficiency. He is the Source of all blessings, and He will take care of our needs. He loves us and gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins. This lets us know that we are worthy of love. When you are confident in who you are in Christ, your actions will align with God’s Will. We must shift our focus off what hasn’t manifested yet and put it on the reality that God has already provided the husband. Our responsibility is to be patient, and to keep on believing and trusting God, no matter the wait.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Be Patient and Keep on Believing God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 9, 2023
The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie

We hear a lot about soul ties in today’s environment, and it has both positive and negative connotations. “Soul tie” is a phrase that people use to describe a deep spiritual connection to another individual. Some think of it as a connection that occurs when two people meet for the first time and realize that their souls are destined to become one. Any person that has experienced the fulfillment and joy of a meaningful soul tie will want it to last a lifetime. It’s the dream on the hearts of many of God’s people, and the continual subject of their prayers. We are wired to seek connection, and when we make one on a soul level, everything feels right in life. The thing that very few of us prepare for is what happens when our souls untie.

Matthew 19 gives us a record of an occasion when the Pharisees came to test Jesus Christ regarding the legality of divorce. Verses 4-5(NLT) tells us his response, “4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” This passage leaves no question of God’s intention for marriage and unity. When a man and a woman marry, they become one in His sight.

In this marital union, it is possible that one person might significantly change mentally and emotionally. It’s not uncommon to hear divorced men and women say, “We just outgrew one another.” The unexplainable aspect is the reality that they were so sure at one time that their souls were inextricably linked. It was inconceivable to the both of them that anything in life could occur that would cause their soul tie to be broken. This begs us to consider the reality that things in life break all the time, but there is nothing broken in the life of any human being that cannot be repaired and made better through the love of Christ.

No Blame Game
1Corinthians 12:27(NLT) declares, “Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.” This puts the ‘out-growing’ rationale in perspective. As children of the Most High God and siblings of Christ, we are all members of one body and therefore, we are indeed inextricably linked through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4:10 tells us that Jesus Christ left certain gifts pertaining to spiritual leadership for his body. These gifts are to accomplish the mission of God’s plan which is for the whole body to be unified in faith regarding the knowledge of Christ. Again, this ‘individual parts functioning as a whole’ is God’s plan for the Body of Christ, and His Will is that everything will be under the authority, power, and rule of Jesus Christ, our King.

The outcome of God’s plan is made plain for us in Ephesians 4:16(NLT). It tells us, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” It is inevitable that we will all grow at various levels with various speeds. God’s intention is that one partner will aid the growth of another in the way that He has ordained.

To shift blame on to the other person for a lack of spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity is not only injurious to the relationship, it is injurious to us. It takes us out of accountability and humility. We have neither the bandwidth nor the right to stand in the seat of judgment when it comes to God’s plan for our spouses and partners. Heavenly Father’s plan for them existed long before they met us. Our responsibility is to ‘help the other parts grow’. God will keep the tie together when our willingness and intention is to aid His purpose. He will bless us and help us weather challenges and difficulties on all fronts if we minister in our unions through His grace and righteousness.

Specific and Continual Prayer for Your Partner

Souls develop and grow, that’s part of what they do. They release things that we feel no longer serve us and they gravitate towards things we believe will give us pleasure. So, when our mates no longer give us the pleasure that we’re used to receiving from them, that’s what we perceive as a serious problem. The soul wants what it wants, and when it doesn’t get its usual diet, or its appetite changes, we feel empty. The natural inclination of folks in a relationship is to think that the relationship is no longer useful because it doesn’t fill us up the way it used to. We then attribute the emptiness we feel to the partner. He’s not making our soul tank FEEL full.

One of the lessons we learn as we grow in Christ is that Jesus is the source of our joy. If we’re looking for the relationship to be the source of our joy, we are setting it up for disappointment. Christ works through us, and he works through our partners because of our faith in him. You and I don’t have any glue of our own to hold a relationship together; we just don’t. It is the love of God in Christ that holds everything together. When it seems the soul tie in a relationship is coming untied, more glue—more of the love of Christ—is the solution. You and I may not know how to administer God’s love in a way that addresses the untie, but the indwelling Holy Spirit knows exactly what to do. Our responsibility is to pray fervently and frequently for our partners, that the Spirit will do his perfect work in them, and in us.

As wives and girlfriends, truthfully, we’ve let this one slip on an epic scale. Even now, while you are unmarried or unpartnered, you must set a habit pattern of praying specifically for the salvation and spiritual growth of your husband. Pray that the Will of God is done in his life, and that you will be a conduit of God’s love to help him continue to walk the path Heavenly Father has placed before him. We have grossly underestimated the level of diligence to prayer that a union requires. We need to be locked into the Father’s heart when it comes to ministering to our spouses. Specific and continual prayer prepares us for hiccups and gives us the patience and discipline to be still as God works them out.

Be Still

The loss of partnership when our souls appear to untie is difficult, but we can get over it of course through the healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, it is also very necessary for us to understand that those same two souls can be unified again through Christ. It can be done through our willingness to pray, not out of desperation, but out of obedience to what God desires. We must also understand that unity cannot be achieved without humility. Recognize that even though you may have developed a soul tie, your soul cannot call the shots; it cannot rule your life. Jesus Christ is Lord! He is in the driver’s seat. He must rule our lives, and we must allow him to lead, guide, and direct us.

God said in Psalm 46:10(NKJV), “Be still, and know that I am God.” Don’t panic or make hasty decisions and choices when things are untangling. Often this is an indicator that our own souls need nourishment, and the only Source of nourishment for our souls is God’s Word. We must still ourselves and get into the Word with a greater commitment to pray and receive wisdom and understanding. Don’t allow the enemy to whisper lies in your ears and cause you to step away from your destiny. The Holy Spirit will teach you and reveal to you what to do if you make God’s Word the priority. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 27, 2022
A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future

Proverbs 31:10(NLT) says, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” I absolutely love this scripture, and I’m sure many of you do as well. I have often referenced it in my offerings because it is so awesomely impactful to Godly womanhood. It’s a very simple verse to understand, and because of this, many of us have mistakenly glossed over its potential to expand our faith. When it comes to the challenges of being unmarried and finding a compatible partner, this verse in its wonderful simplicity answers any questions we might have. God tells us that a good woman is hard to find. If she’s hard to find, she’s not in the usual places. She’s where a good man will be looking and expecting to find her.

Proverbs 14:1(NLT) states, “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” In the modern times in which we now live, and in many circles, a woman that prioritizes building a home is looked upon as old fashioned, old school, and out of step with the reality of modern feminism. Learning to cook a meal, to tidy up her home and keep it presentable, and to prioritize Godliness are sacred to the ministry of a woman, but most folks these days don’t view it this way. Our Heavenly Father is not concerned with how the world views His Word. He is, on the other hand, very concerned with how believers view it. In 2Timothy 2:15, God commands us to show ourselves approved before Him. He then goes on to tell us exactly how His approval is achieved. He tells us to be good workers who rightly divide and handle the Word of Truth.

In Luke 6:47-49, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ clarifies the difference between a good worker and a poor worker. A good worker, according to the teaching of Christ, is a person that listens to his teaching and follows it. A good worker is a builder that lays a foundation of solid rock and then builds the house upon it. When the floodwaters and storms come against the good builder’s house, that house will stand no matter what. A poor worker hears the Word of God but doesn’t obey. A poor worker doesn’t believe that God’s Word is the truth and therefore builds a house without a foundation. When floodwaters and storms come against it, this house collapses into one big mess.

A woman that is wise will build the foundation of her home on Jesus Christ and the Word of God, so that no matter what the enemy throws her way, her house will not be divided but will stand. A wise woman doesn’t make worldly assumptions about what it means to be a good woman. She turns to God and prays that He will teach her His requirements so she can meet them.

When a woman is busy being obedient to the Father’s Will and Word, a good man will know exactly where to find her. We’re not perfect, but God’s plan is perfect, His Word is perfect, and He is perfect. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t miss a beat. When we make it our business to build our house on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ, the Lord will take care of presenting a man that is everything we need him to be. God has given us perfect tools, perfect building material, and perfect instructions. We can’t wait until we meet the man to start using them. We must demonstrate to the Lord that we trust that He will provide us with a good man. We must show Him that we are backing our faith by being wise and doing everything we can to spiritually prepare for the future, and we’re doing it right now.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 21, 2022
Out with the Old and In with the New

Isaiah 43:19(NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

My conversation with a dear sister in Christ led me to really draw nearer to this verse of scripture in Isaiah 43. My sister-friend recently had a breakup with her significant other, and she was feeling the sting of his absence in her life. I knew she was hurting, and I counseled her as best any good Christian friend would – with the love of Christ and with truth. I told her not to dwell in that space of hurt for too long and try not to be in touch with her ex if possible.

There is never going to be a set time on how long it takes for someone to get over a breakup. It may take a few weeks, a few months and for some, it may take much longer; it is also why the verse in Isaiah 43 resonates so much with me, and I pray it does with you. Through His prophet, God told His people, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” When He told His people this, they were in one of the worst tribulation experiences that any human have. They were in bondage. They had lost their prominence, their possessions, and their place of dwelling. Their eyes were so closed to possibility that all they could see was the gloom of their situation. God was telling them to open their eyes to His power, because His masterful plan for them was already turning things around. This is the same eye-opening hope and faith that you and I must have in God.

God lets us know without any shadow of doubt that He does a new thing in our lives daily. Not just once a month or once a year, but every single day of our lives. Even when it comes down to the sinful behavior we may commit while in our relationships, God is quick to blot them out as soon as we ask for His forgiveness. He remembers our sins no more, and He told His people in Isaiah 43:25(NLT), “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” He lets us know so lovingly that He is not like us. He doesn’t look at us through the same lens as others or even the way we look at ourselves. God sees the Christ in us and never looks on the impurities of our sinful souls. He wants us to also see ourselves in this way—as brand new!

The Apostle Paul said in Galatian 6:14-15(MSG), “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!” When we’re brand new, we don’t give up hope because of something that went wrong in the past. Instead, we celebrate newness because we have faith that God is always up to something good, and He is always doing something new for, with, and in us. Our attitude should continually be ‘out with the old and in with the new!’

I’m sure many of us wish we could just wake up one morning and every hurtful circumstance or bad behavior would just vamoose out of our memory completely. But it doesn’t matter to God how many bad memories we have or how many wrong choices in men we’ve made, Heavenly Father’s love for us is infinitely higher than we could ever imagine. He wants us to be forever fulfilled with an abundance of love and happiness, this is what is most important to Him. He is greater than any mistake we can make, and His love will heal our hearts and cause us to be better than we ever imagined.

Sometimes we need a little help to understand that before we can embrace something new, we may need to let go of some of our old patterns and behaviors. I recently went through my closet and got rid of some clothes and shoes that I no longer needed and wasn’t wearing. It instantly hit me that this is what many single people should do in their personal lives. Get rid of what you don’t need, those emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that do not help you increase in faith and love. Refuse to wear those things any longer! The point is to make room for something new. You just never know what God has working in the background. Don’t miss what He has for you by focusing on what has passed. Shift your attention and focus to the new that God is bringing into your life and trust Him to guide you to it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Out with the Old and In with the New”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 14, 2022
You Know I’m Single…

An actor was being interviewed and jokingly asked if the host had a single family member or friend that she could meet. “You know I’m single.” She said. The host responded, “Every time you’ve been on our show, you’re always single, what gives?” It doesn’t matter if you’re a beautiful Hollywood actor, a professional, or a single mother trying to get back out there and juggle all the other responsibilities of life, the dating arena can be challenging to navigate. We’re all so different, and so are our needs, but the complexities of meeting someone that isn’t married and is actually looking for something meaningful seems almost too much to tackle. People are constantly saying that the special person for us is out there, but if that’s true, where are they hiding and why is it so difficult to find them?

Meeting the right person for our lives is a process of self-discovery. That sounds like a pitch right out of some guide to meeting your soul-mate, but as cheesy as it may sound, it’s true. The foundation of the process of self-discovery is first recognizing the truth about what ‘self’ means. Self-identity is Christ identity. People spend their whole lives trying to discover who they are, when God took care of that through Jesus Christ. Everything we need to know about who God created us to be can be found in Christ.

If you give it some thought, you’ll see that if we’re not quite sure who God created us to be or what we’re supposed to be doing on this earth, then there’s probably a big question mark branded on our foreheads. We can’t see it, but it’s there, and it shouldn’t be hard for us to understand that no one wants to get to know a question mark. People are looking for something real. A question mark suggests all the issues associated with not really knowing who you are—issues like poor judgment, lack of confidence, and an inability to truly and deeply be loyal and committed. As sisters in the Lord, we wouldn’t want someone like this as a marital partner, so we must make sure there’s no trace of it in us.

There isn’t anything about us that God doesn’t know. Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us that before He made the world, He already loved us and chose us to be His very own. God wants us to be holy because He is holy. Holiness envelopes the bond of unity we share with Him. Our Heavenly Father tailor made us to fit into His wonderful plan. For a long time, before we knew Christ, we didn’t know about God’s plan or how we fit into it. We were lost—just didn’t have a clue who we were supposed to be, but God’s love began to unfold in our lives when we accepted Christ. The problem is that many of us stopped short. We haven’t allowed God’s blueprint to spread out, so we can study the full view. Instead, we got just a glimpse and started to run with our assumptions. So, for many single and unmarried individuals, self-discovery has not come to full maturity. God is telling them that there’s still more they need to learn about Jesus Christ before they can partner successfully.

Thousands of years ago, God knew that there would be a multitude of single women praying to Him for a good man. Even back then He considered the challenges for our modern times. We have to remember that He knows the end at the very beginning. You can be confident that He knows all the details of how you will finally meet the man that you’ve prayed for. And make no mistake, He also knows what it will take for you to get in position for this blessing as well.

God is an Excellent Giver. He doesn’t give gifts to those that are not ready to receive them or who lack the ability and well of gratitude to steward and be thankful for them. Heavenly Father is perfect in every way. The special person for us isn’t hiding. They are preparing, just as we should be. God has made sure there are enough spouses for those seeking to honor the institution of marriage. Not every man can be a husband, just as not every woman can be a wife. It takes a humble, forgiving, loving and committed human being to be truly ready to partner with another human being in marriage. Dating is easy, but marriage requires stability and truth.

Joshua 1:8(NLT) tells us, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” God wants His children to be fulfilled, happy and successful, and He’s left it up to us to make it happen for ourselves through His Word. He tells us in Romans 6:13(NLT), “Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.” This is God’s requirement. He wants us to be married and partnered up more than we desire it for ourselves. Keeping His Word is paramount to our success.

As we study God’s Word, we can see that He never overlooks a promise. He is faithful to keep His Word. He has promised to bless us, but He is also committed to see us fulfill our purpose. He is committed to see us capture our destinies according to His Will and Plan. As unmarried people, we have to go to Heavenly Father with a deeply humbled heart and do so in the most earnest way that we know. We must ask Him what more we need to do in order to fit into His plan. We must ask Him what part of our old man nature we need to take off, so we can walk more fully in Christ. Then, we must wait on God as He unveils the answers to these questions. God knows you are single, and He will take care of every detail regarding meeting your destiny partner but seeking Him must remain your primary motivation and you must be committed to follow His guidance. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Know I’m Single…”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 31, 2022
More Than What You Asked for

A close sister in Christ was very upset when she told me the man that she’s been dating over a year informed her he wanted to take a break. Immediately my heart went out to her, because I know oh too well the heartbreaking emotions she’s going through. Many of us have been blindsided this way, and you feel as though your love and the energy you put in the relationship was taken for granted. You might even begin to question your decision-making when it comes to relationships with men. Hearing the pain in my sister-friend’s voice brought back memories I’d rather forget. Personally, I told the Lord that if it means having to deal with something like this in my life, I’m completely okay with it just being Him and me. I know from experience that when we make our relationship with God our number one priority, we can avoid painful breakups with a person that was never intended for us in the first place.

Heavenly Father wants all who desire marriage to have a beautiful union that is anchored in the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, it is God’s Will for us to have a strong marriage with a good spouse if that is what we desire. He will take care of all the details of this blessing if we trust and honor Him. We must wait upon the Lord in all things. When we don’t do this, and we try to rush things, we can become attached to someone who doesn’t have the same desire for marriage as we might, and this can be devastating. And I also know that such attachments become a significant hindrance when the desire and motivation to make God the central focus of your life isn’t a priority.

The psalmist said in Psalm 139:24(NLT), “Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” This is the heart that I always want to have for God and His Word. A person has to take some knocks in life sometimes before they will understand that without God, nothing works. We can’t do anything without Him, and He demands to be first in our lives, because He cannot ever be second in anything. He’s the One True God, Alpha and Omega. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. Everything we do in life must indicate we understand who He is, and everything we do must signal heaven and everything beneath it that we are humbled before our Almighty God.

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is more than a commandment; it is the foundation upon which anything that we desire to last in life must be built. Healing begins and newness is ushered into a person’s life when they can acknowledge they’ve not been as faithful to God as they should. Then they can take the necessary actions to remedy this, but we can’t keep doing the same things and expect a different result.

In 1Kings 3:9(NLT), it is evident that King Solomon had a heart to put God first when he asked Heavenly Father, “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” This pleased God very much, because the humility to seek Him and to serve righteously was apparent in Solomon. God replied in 1Kings 3:11-13(NLT), “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” This passage demonstrates for us the way in which God blesses when we seek Him and His righteousness first.

Our hiccups and mistakes teach us righteousness. God does not cause them, but in order for us to usher in His grace and restoration, we must do as the psalmist said and ask Him to point out anything that offends Him in our lives. It is a very common and evil plot of the devil to weaponize relationships against us. Although it can be troubling to admit to ourselves, we provide the devil the ammunition he is looking for. As we spiritually mature, we learn from experience that the devil gets in where there’s an opening. We would do well to remain prayerful and humble before the Father so He can help us through His Holy Spirit to close that opening. The thing to do is to not close our eyes to it, because if we do, we will be outsmarted.

I’ve mentioned often that I’ve heard many women ask the question “How much longer is God going to take before I meet my husband?” It’s a question that all of us can understand and sympathize with, especially for women who’ve prayed a long time and are still unmarried. It’s probably one of the most frustrating areas in a single woman’s life. But there’s no secret to this. God must be first in our hearts and minds. There is no compromising on this standard. It’s a must. So, we have to ask if we’ve put the energy, effort, and focus in our relationship with God that we’ve put in our pursuit of a relationship with a man. The right answer lies in the reality that we should always invest more in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ than we do in any other. He tells His people in Jeremiah 29:11-14(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “11 They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the LORD.” This is true for those of us living today.

The man that my friend was dating may have faked his commitment to her and led her to believe he was all in when he wasn’t. We’ve seen how hurtful and disappointing it is when we are treated this way. When it comes to God, we must make absolutely sure that we never attempt to do this to Him. He must have first place in our lives, and when He does, we will know it, because He will give us more than what we asked for. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“More Than What You Asked For”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 24, 2022
When Love Is Not on Automatic

Colossians 2:7(NLT) tells us, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” This scripture tells us God’s goal for us as His sons and daughters. Our roots should grow down into Christ. What are our roots? Our roots are the aspects of our being that keep us connected to God through Jesus Christ. They include the mind and heart. God commands us to put the knowledge and wisdom of His Word in our minds and hearts, because both have the capacity to nourish and strengthen all the other areas of our lives. When the roots of a tree are nourished, the trunk is unmovable, and all the other parts of the tree are strong as well. This is a good analogy of how we become firmly rooted and anchored in Christ and grow strong in his love. When we keep our roots growing down into Christ, we can be the kind of spouses God desires, and through us, He can keep our marriages secure in the unity of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-26(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” The love that Jesus Christ has for the church is the kind of love women should want to see from the significant person in their lives. Christ sacrificed everything because of his great love for us, and God is telling us that, as women, we should have an expectation that our husbands will demonstrate this same quality of love. They may not be perfect at it, but they will continually grow better at loving us because of our commitment to put Christ first. This kind of relationship is available, because if it wasn’t, God would not have told us so. You will know that you’ve got a good catch when the significant person in your life sacrifices for your benefit and well-being; and you should be willing to do the same.

It’s no secret that we’ve seen a decline in quality relationships, the kind that endure hardships and last a lifetime. We have also witnessed a decline in the level of respect, honor, and appreciation that men and women have for one another. The problem is a spiritual one, and the solution begins with prayer. Each of us has a responsibility to pray that God will open the eyes of people so they can make greater room in their hearts for His love. People are turning their backs on God; therefore, they are turning their backs on His love. This is the major contributing factor in finding compatible mates. We need to pray that globally people will be transformed by God’s love, and that they will hand over the lordship of their marital relationships to Jesus Christ.

Human beings will always seek to be rooted and grounded in something, because God created us with a nature that seeks connection. We thrive from our connection to God through Jesus Christ, and we are also fulfilled through our connections with others. The issues arise when we seek to be rooted and grounded in the man rather than in the Lord Jesus Christ. When we do this, we remove Christ from his rightful position as Lord over our lives. Sometimes, we make this decision unconsciously. Slowly, we place our spiritual walk in Christ on the backburner and put the needs of the man first. Many of us do this because we think the connection to the man will fortify and nurture those places that feel empty and void within us. We must realize that only the Lord Jesus Christ can fill up our empty places.

Heavenly Father wants us to have successful and lasting marriages. Unity is crucial to moving God’s agenda forward, and unity starts at home. A successful and unified home life is a solid foundation where many treasures for the Kingdom can be stored up. So, we should never doubt that God desires this for us, because He does, but His love absolutely must be at the helm of our marriages and every other thing we set out to do.

1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT) says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” It’s God’s Will that two individuals in a relationship be there for one another, but this isn’t permission to let our emotions and feelings get out of control or to make the relationship our whole world. It is a very delicate balance, because we want to please our partners so much, but spiritual maturity in Christ demands that we handle this balance in a way that puts God first. When we ask Heavenly Father to bless us with one of His treasures, we should be asking with both the commitment to Christ and the blessing we want to receive in mind. In other words, we should already know that the blessing we desire will require us to increase spiritually. This is necessary to remain good stewards of God’s blessings. Increasing spiritually is necessary for us to exercise Christ authority, so that whatever the difficulty and no matter the issues we encounter in the relationship, these challenges will not get the best of us.

When we’re not rooted and grounded in the love of Jesus Christ, some women will latch on to relationships with men for dear life. Then, when the man disappoints them, or worse, betrays the relationship, they are devastated to the point of collapse. Some women never get over the hurt, but deal with it through bitterness and fear, which paralyzes their spiritual growth in Christ. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for any of us.

Rather than spending energy blaming the other person or holding resentment towards them, we can make a better choice. As a spiritually mature person, we are required to understand that our own personal brand of love isn’t on automatic and often shuts down when things get ugly. Our brand of love is conditional. When things go south, sometimes our love goes with them. We forget all about our brand of love, and we will get low, go toe to toe, cut the fool, and behave as if we don’t know any better. This doesn’t happen with the love of Christ. 1Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that the love of God in Christ is patient and kind. It doesn’t insist on its own way, isn’t irritable or resentful, and it never gives up. Relationships have a way of reminding us of the ‘old man’ nature, and how much of it has seeped into our unions. We have to remind ourselves that the ‘old man’ nature was crucified with Christ. Then we must choose to remain in the love of Christ which makes us complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Only God’s love can keep a relationship thriving. When we’re faced with those difficult relationship issues, it can be very challenging to kick our Christ identity in high gear, but it gets a whole lot easier if we’re rooted and grounded in his love. The greatest thing we can do as unmarried people is to use our time wisely by doing what is required to be anchored in an intimate relationship with God. We must do the things necessary to be rooted in Christ. Our commitment and trust must be solidified first in our relationship with him, then our faith in God’s love, provision, and care will never be shaken or doubted for any reason. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When Love Is Not on Automatic”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 17, 2022
Thrilled About Your Faith in God

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and it is the evidence of things not seen. Even though you and I can’t reach out and physically touch faith, our faith is all the evidence we need. It’s the title deed to the thing we’ve prayed to receive. Even though that thing hasn’t yet materialized in the natural realm, it’s ours if we trust the Lord and move according to what He’s told us. In other words, faith is the assurance that the thing we’ve prayed to God to receive in the name of Jesus Christ is on its way. Supernaturally, we’ve received it in Christ, and Ephesians 1:3 tells us so. In this verse, God declares that we’ve been blessed with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places because of our union with Christ. We can see from God’s Word that faith is a very powerful spiritual reality, and God has given it to every person. Faith in Jesus Christ should inspire every single or unmarried woman to wake up each day with the hope that even though she’s single in status, it is only temporary because she has faith in God.

Faith is confidence, and confidence will require our minds and hearts to work together. God instructs us repeatedly in His Word to renew our minds and to guard our hearts. He created us in such a way that we have three parts, a human-spirit, a human-soul, and a human-body. Our human-spirit is the highest part of us because it is the part that allows us to connect to God. God is a Spirit, and we commune with Him spirit-u-ally. We must worship Him in spirit and in truth. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The thing that we sometimes overlook is that faith requires that our souls and bodies submit to our born-again human spirit. Our human-spirit is the dwelling place of the gift of Holy Spirit. He, the Holy Spirit, lives inside our human-spirit, and the two are in continual fellowship and communion.

Romans 8:16(NLT) says, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” The Spirit is doing a work on the inside of us. Our flesh is unclean and sinful but our human-spirit was recreated when we became born again. The born-again human-spirit is perfect, and this is the part of us that helps us receive from the Holy Spirit and walk in his power. The best thing we can do during some part of our day is shut off all the other noises, get quiet, and stay our minds on Jesus Christ. Our days can be very hectic, and we sometimes get out of sorts, but this doesn’t happen with the born-again human-spirit. It is completely submitted to the Holy Spirit, and it is our responsibility to submit our bodies to the will of our human-spirits and not to the will of the soul, which only wants to pleasure the flesh.

Exercising the faith muscle is like exercising the physical body. The mind must be in agreement with the human-will and the human-body in order to actually begin a workout and see results. Faith is a potent reality. The spirit, soul, and body must all be on board to access the power of the Holy Spirit. Faith is the Spirit’s fruit, and everything about us must be in harmony with him, the Spirit; for this is the only way to be in harmony with God’s Word and to see our faith produce results!

This is the pattern Jesus Christ left for us. He said in John 8:29(NLT) “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ never did anything that did not please the Father. Jesus walked in the Spirit every second of every day. He was in constant communion with God through the Holy Spirit. We must be as well. We desperately need the Spirit’s help to lead a successful Christian life. Just as Jesus started his days with prayer and submitting to the Holy Spirit, we must do the same thing.

James 2:26(NLT) says, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Many single or unmarried women who are desiring to be married have read this verse and believed that they’ve got to go out and start doing all kinds of new things to get a man. They sign up for dating sites, change their hair style or hair color, buy a new wardrobe, or buy a new car. They do all these things thinking this will draw the blessing they desire. They believe these things will equate to the ‘good works’ that James 2:26 is referring to. Then, when things don’t work out as they had hoped, they are perplexed and saddened, thinking nothing works.

Faith is a supernatural substance. It is spiritual, and it requires us to respond to God spiritually through the example of Christ. Romans 10:17 cosigns this by telling us that faith comes by hearing/perceiving the Word of God. We’ve got to hear God’s Word, believe it, then do what it says. This is a spiritual action that signifies we believe what the Lord has told us. Before a person believes in faith for marriage, they must believe in faith to hear God on the matter. That just makes sense.

Faith is spiritual. It belongs to God. If we expect to see the results of our faith to any degree, we must ask the Owner of it to direct us. Jesus Christ didn’t do anything without hearing from God first. As a single/unmarried person, you can’t do anything without hearing from God about how, when, and where you should move. We must never try to get ahead of the Holy Spirit. Doing so is a big mistake.

Abraham is the Father of our believing. He was fully-persuaded that God would keep and perform His promises. Abraham made a few mistakes, but his life really took off when he began to understand that he couldn’t make a move unless Heavenly Father told him to make it first. James 2:22-24(NLT) sums it up beautifully for us. Regarding Abraham, this passage tells us, “22 You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. 24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.” This is the kind of uniformity of purpose that God demands. It comes from being attentive to His voice and listening for His directives, for He is sure to give them. Abraham heard the directive from God, then moved in faith. This is the only successful pattern for a believer.

Many of us are thrilled about the possibility of getting married, but are you equally thrilled about listening for God’s directives and actually receiving them from Him? Are you thrilled about your faith in God? You should be, because it is the most exciting journey we can imagine. Faith in God through Jesus Christ is where the action is. When we are in harmony with God’s plan for our lives, we can be confidently guided through the Holy Spirit and walk in faith. God doesn’t miss a beat, not ever! He hasn’t left one tiny fraction of a detail to chance when it comes to your life. He just needs you to trust His plan and to allow Him to guide and direct you in it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Thrilled About Your Faith in God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 10, 2022