The Bridge Not Easily Crossed

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NIV), “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken;”

The thing that speaks to me uniquely regarding this passage in Ecclesiastes 4 is that its wisdom takes out all the fuss we add to relationships. God delivers His standard here, and it is very simple common sense; this is what I love. Its practical guidance is beneficial no matter your situation. Whether you’re single, married or divorced, the principle of strength in unity and partnership can be applied across the board. If you’re finding the process of going from single to married to be a bridge not easily crossed, don’t allow yourself to be discouraged or deterred. Cling to the simplicity and common sense of God’s standard and let Him guide you as you cross the bridge from single to married.

You can’t do it without God
The principle reality about any quest we attempt to undertake is that we can’t do it without God. The truth of this goes without saying, but still many of us neglect to pray and be obedient in a way that signals we are letting Him lead. Nothing makes sense without God, but with Him, the quests we think are complicated and difficult are made light and far less challenging. God is about increase, sharing, and unity, because all of these, and much more, embody what it means to love in the way that He does. This doesn’t mean that being single is a negative thing. It’s not. It gives us time to concentrate and focus on our relationship with God. Some might feel they’ve had a little too much time for this, but God is the Judge of that. He knows when our hearts are full of His love. And He also knows when we are at a point spiritually when we will not shortchange our time with Him simply because we have a new man in our lives.

The simple truth He is revealing is that His Will is that people stand together and help one another. He loves unity, and He wants us to know this. So, when we’re at a point of praying that we’ll meet a good man and get married, we are praying to expand our lives by caring for and supporting another person. This is fruitful because God makes it plain for us in Ecclesiastes 4:10 that with two, you’ll have a better return on your labor. This means you can accomplish more things together than you would alone, but we must never forget that our working together with another must be fueled by our honor and obedience to God.

You must use your time now to pray that God teaches you the lessons that are specific to being the helpmate your spouse needs. You must have God’s guidance for this. Without His love guiding us, we become confused and entangled with too many expectations and too little spiritual discipline.

Know how to help each other up

In Hosea 4:6(ESV), God said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge.” Heavenly Father is speaking directly to us, His children, and He’s telling us that we can be severely harmed because we have refused to know Him as well as we should. Many single people have not applied discipline when it comes to reading and studying God’s Word. If they are not doing it while they are single, they probably will not do it when they become married. Because they haven’t used their time as singles to study God’s Word, they won’t be able to withstand some of the rigors of married life. They’ve neglected to heed God’s warning in Hosea 4:6, yet they expect to be blessed with a lasting marital union. This is not a spiritually mature posture.

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. Diligence is a discipline. It is evidenced by a consistent pattern that becomes a habit. Once we have worked a habit pattern of diligence in our lives, it stays with us. The characteristic of diligence towards the things of God helps to preserve our marital unions, and we can’t be ignorant about this. God’s requirement and expectation is that we will be a helper to our spouses. He expects that we will allow Him to work through us so we can help our spouses up when they fall. However, if we are not seasoned in His Word, we’re not even helping ourselves, so how can we help a spouse?  We must be diligent about the things of God, so that we are spiritually prepared to help our spouses in the way God has ordained.

Make a cord of three strands
Jesus Christ must be the head of our marriages. His love is the glue that holds it together. It is inevitable in a marriage that there will be disagreements. Some marriages don’t survive them. Weaknesses of the spouses are weaponized by the devil to put a wedge between the couple. When neither spouse has built within them a habit pattern of prayer and walking in the Spirit, small things fester and slowly become layered over time. But when one of them has the faith to press into God and let Jesus Christ take the wheel, the Holy Spirit can strengthen their union. This is how the spouses together with Christ build the strong cord of three, and it will withstand the plots of the enemy that are designed to come against their union.

Knowledge about God’s Word is our greatest weapon, and when we don’t have it, life can be extremely difficult. If we are without the Godly wisdom necessary to be the good helpmate that Heavenly Father desires, the enemy will continually steal the opportunities that are necessary for us to cross paths with our destiny partner. We will be stuck on the bridge, never crossing it because we’re blinded by a lack of knowledge. We won’t see the very instruments that lead to our blessing. God loves unity, and you must pray and ask Him to teach you to work together with your spouse. He requires you to diligently apply yourself to this before you marry. You must get into His Word, so that you are spiritually strengthened and prepared to be the helpmate God desires you to be. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Bridge Not Easily Crossed”, written for Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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