Find A Christian Man

Tag: Faith

  • 3 Questions You Must Answer

    3 Questions You Must Answer

    If the person you’re dating isn’t ready for a marital commitment and you are, what are you expecting to happen? Do you expect that he will change his mind? Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you or are you willing to simply continue with things as they are? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and to examine the answers with as much scrutiny as possible. The major reason for this is because the answers are a good indication of how you see yourself and how you see God responding to your desire for marriage.

    1 Do you expect that he will change his mind?
    Heavenly Father did not intend that relationships would be as challenging as they are. But this is the thing about us humans, we bring complexity and confusion into just about every arena of life. 1Corinthians 14:33 tells us undoubtedly that God is not the author of confusion, so our goal forever and always should be to let His peace abide with us. The only way to achieve this is to seek and understand His Will.

    Genesis 1:26(NLT) tells us, “Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” God created us in His image, and He also gives us our mission. It is to reign within the earth’s realm. This is God’s Will! He did not give any human being the right to reign over another person. We can’t see into another person’s heart, and we cannot control their minds. We are to have dominion and authority in our own lives. This means we cannot change how someone responds to us. The most that we can do is change how we respond to them.

    2 Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you?
    Love is a commitment, and it is a commitment we must honor through the Lord Jesus Christ. In John 15:13(NKJV), our Master Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” His example reveals that love isn’t consumed with what we receive, it is about the commitment we make to love and serve others through Christ. Again, humans complicate things way more than they need to be. We have taken the infallible treasure of love and tried to dice it up and split it in several different ways that suit our own agendas. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has demonstrated for us what love is and how it behaves, so we don’t get to put our spin on it. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and if authentic love is our goal, it must be expressed through our faith in Him.

    After God created Adam, He saw that Adam was lonely. Genesis 2:20-23(NLT) tells us: “20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” Adam had all dominion and authority in the earth. He was not weak or lacking because he was created from God’s glory to be perfect in every way. But Adam was without a companion, and it was always God’s plan to make Eve from Adam’s body, so he would have a perfectly suited spouse to love.

    Because God loves us, just as He did for Adam and Eve, He will take care of our needs. If we are representing Christ in the way that God requires, we should never allow ourselves to be overly concerned about whether someone loves us back. Instead, loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ must be our main focus and concern. 2Corinthians 3:5 tells us that God is our Sufficiency. Another person cannot fulfill that role, and if we think they can, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Therefore, we can never, under any circumstances, try to make another person our source or sufficiency. God is our Source. We must be very careful that we’re not trying to make a person our everything or depend on them to be. If we do this, we’ve stepped away from God’s love and may be in jeopardy of idolatry and obsession.

    Are you willing to simply continue with things as they are?
    God wants us to have happy lives and happy marriages. He doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less but wants our joy to be full. To accomplish this, the love of Jesus Christ must be firmly anchored in our hearts. When it isn’t, God will help us if we want to be helped. As we accept God’s help and commit ourselves to be led by His Spirit, we must accept that change is inevitable.

    Things do not stay the same, and life doesn’t afford us the opportunity to continue being the same person we’ve always been. Therefore, we should not expect that the person we love will go on being who they are either. Life supports growth, change, and evolution; and all of it hangs on God’s purposes. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”  So, the wisest thing we can do is be patient as God shows us what He has planned. Then, we can make decisions and choices in alignment with His Will, because these will be the best decisions and choices we can make for our lives.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “3 Questions You Must Answer“, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Show Me How to Love

    Show Me How to Love

    As human beings, we crave love, and whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most would do almost anything to have it. Many people today are still searching for that special someone, and they hope this person will shower them with the love they’ve always wanted. It’s no secret that there are disproportionately more single women desiring a committed relationship than men. They hope to find a man that has qualities comparable to their own, and that this quest will ultimately lead to marriage. They also hope this will not be prolonged much longer. Most single believers desiring marriage recognize that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to make it a reality. Every step that a person takes towards increasing their faith in Christ is impactful, and this is one of the reasons it’s so important to be led by the Spirit in all you do, especially when it comes to your desire for marriage.

    The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” From the very beginning of our lives, as infants, we are comforted and become established in the unconditional love from our parents. Knowing that our parents or guardians will always be supportive and will never walk away from us should establish the first foundation of love in our hearts. For many, this expectation of love, care, and support is rooted in us from infancy, but as we grow, our expectations for and about love should change. As children, our parents were our lords—they were supposed to be our everything. But as Paul tells us in God’s Word, when we mature and develop into adults, it is necessary for us to let go of childish things.

    We are not perfect, and neither are our parents. Sometimes the foundation that gets established in us doesn’t help us build faith, but in some areas work against our faith. We grow up holding on to and nurturing immaturity. Some generational stuff gets passed on, and we may have insecurities and fears that we’ve not confronted or owned. These immature tendencies block us from developing mature faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is crucial to handle this business of removing the blockers, and to do it before we’re in the most significant relationships of our lives. The person we’ll marry will be the individual we minister to most. They will be most impacted by our spiritual walk in Christ, and if we are not prepared to help them in the way that God has purposed, we’ve got a problem.

    Discovering God’s love is transformative. He has shown us through Christ that love is about what we do and has very little to do with what we say. Our loving Lord and Savior paid the ultimate price for us. Because of his overwhelming love, he sacrificed his life as payment for our sins. He said in John 15:13(NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we accept the love of Christ in our hearts, we then must love as he loves, share as he shares, and give as he gives. This is the least we can do for all that he has done for us.

    1 John 3:16(MSG) says, “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” We must understand that sacrifice is necessary in love; Jesus Christ has shown us this, and it is this sacrificial aspect of love that many people refuse to see. Meeting the person we will marry can’t be a desire born out of selfishness or self-agendas. If it is, the relationship won’t have a solid foundation. But when a relationship is built on the solid foundation of Christ, it will last. This means that, with our future spouses, we will come into the union with a measure of spiritual maturity that God has stamped “READY!”

    Right now, we don’t yet know all the ways in which we’re missing the mark in the love of God in Christ, but God knows. He knows our every weakness, and He sees the problems and situations in our futures that we are not yet spiritually mature enough to handle. The psalmist prayed in Psalm 27:10-11(NLT), “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.”  This must be our constant prayer. You have an enemy that seeks to keep you separated from our future spouse, but God will teach you how to love through Him and keep your union strong. He will show you how to love so that you fulfill the plan He has for you and your spouse. Be patient, and let the Spirit lead you along this right path. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Show Me How to Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Stop Mourning What Could Have Been

    Stop Mourning What Could Have Been

    One of the things we do when we’re in a relationship is reshuffle our lives to make room for the new man. Most of us see this as a welcomed change, and we’re happy to do it, but when the relationship doesn’t go as expected, it can be very challenging. On top of the heartache we’re experiencing, we must do even more reshuffling. We have to acclimate ourselves to the reality of our disappointment while trying not to miss a beat with the other important things in our lives. Even though most of us will try to smooth over the gaps that were left vacant by the absence of this person, things can’t go back to the way they were. Try as we might to get back to that place, we just can’t. This can be very difficult for us to accept, especially when we’re facing the holidays.

    For most of us, the holiday season comes with both its share of joys and stresses. There are increased demands on our time with family and work gatherings, and not only this, there’s the pressure of gift giving on our finances. Of course, the joys far exceed the angst. It’s a beautiful season that reminds us of warm coziness, closeness with those we love, and most importantly, remembering the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All of us want it to be a celebratory time that we share with that special someone, but not having this person in our lives shouldn’t be a game changer.

    There are some truths that we as believers must accept, and one of them is that everything, every detail, from the smallest to the greatest, happens for a reason. Heavenly Father created us in such a way that we change, evolve, and grow through knowledge and experiences. He tells us in Ephesians 4:23(NIV), “to be made new in the attitude of your minds;” In Romans 12:2(NIV), He said, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This means that we ought to learn lessons of wisdom from our mistakes and change our thoughts and attitudes so that we’re better from our breakups and not worse. Our goal through every success and disappointment should be to excel in Christ, because as we learn more about him, we are transformed into the person God created us to be.

    This doesn’t happen all at once. After we’re born-again through Christ, our spiritual journey in him begins. It’s never a backward regression. In the realm of God, there is only one trajectory, forward and upward. As we walk in the Holy Spirit and allow him to teach us about Jesus Christ, we’ll go higher and higher. It is awesomely important that we trust this truth, because it will help to build our faith. It will help us to be anchored in the truth that although things didn’t turn out the way we wanted, God’s plan for us is not deterred. He will cause all things to work together for our good.

    Some of us are very tempted to let a breakup send us backwards, but our faith in God ought to be anchored in what He’s doing now and what He will do in the future. We want to go back to who we used to be, or we want the man back in our lives so things will be as they were. We should never want to go back because there’s too much to look forward to.

    The children of Israel living in Old Testament times are an example of the wrong attitude and mindset. In Numbers 14:22-23(NIV), God said, “Not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times—not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.” God’s people were forbidden to see the Promised Land because they refused to believe that their latter days would be better than their former days. They wouldn’t trust that God would increase them as they pursued His Will and promises in faith. Instead, they cowered in fear and doubt, complained, and wandered around in the wilderness. We should never allow this to be said of us.

    John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave us His only begotten Son. He gifted to all of us the most precious offering He could make. At God’s appointed time, something new and extraordinarily wonderful came into the world. This is the God we serve, and it is something to celebrate every day. We’re not the same person we were, and that’s nothing to be sad about. We learned how flexible and strong we are when we have to be. Don’t constantly make a memorial of your past at the expense of your future. With God, all things are possible, and when we make Him the focus, we can stop mourning what could have been and prepare to embrace the newness of what will be.■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Stop Mourning What Could Have Been”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Show Me Where to Start

    Show Me Where to Start

    “This isn’t right – I gotta fix this…I miss my family!” This is what a close friend said to me as he described what made him fight for his marriage. With two children, a mortgage, and a job that he didn’t feel was worth waking up to each morning, it became more than a notion for this man in his thirties; it had become overwhelming. He and his wife had separated after only five years of marriage, and during their separation, he grew even more despondent. He began to feel so isolated from his family that he couldn’t see how he and his wife could fix what was broken. Neither one of them could imagine submitting to the other for the sake of their family’s unity and peace.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:9(NLT), “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” There are many ways to bring peace to any situation, but it takes humility, love, and a heart that is eager to please God. Peace work requires that we release all claims to pride, and the need to control and be right. This is very difficult for some of us. Anyone that is going through or has gone through a difficult time in their marriage can attest to the fact that it’s easier to run away from the problems than to stand strong and face them head on.

    As women, we have endured a lot, and still continue to endure a great deal. We don’t have the luxury of being weak; too many depend on our strength. We run to God because like the song says, ‘we’ve tried Him, and we know He’s all right!’ Our backs have been against the wall enough times to know that He’ll never leave us or forsake us, but sometimes our strength is entangled with stubbornness. Our tenacity, when it’s stretched too thin, can be tainted with bitterness. Then we say to God, “Why is it always me that has to change? Why do I have to do all the emotional acrobatics all the time? Why doesn’t he ever have to come clean and surrender too?”

    Our Lord and Savior answers these questions so beautifully in Matthew 5:13-14(NLT), “13 You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. 14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.”  We add flavor to the lives of those we love and know, and it is because we are the lights of the world. It should be our highest privilege and honor to show people the unyielding endurance of the love of Christ. Forgiving others keeps us salty. Making peace keeps our light bright. He never said it was easy. It’s hard work sometimes, and that’s why peace-work comes with such great rewards.

    It doesn’t matter how many times we have to rein ourselves in, especially when we’re cringing and about to burst because we want to say something and speak our minds so bad. We must hold our tongues. The rebellious part of us despises this. We don’t want to submit to anyone, and we don’t want anyone to have authority over us, but the truth of it is that marriage requires submission. Both spouses must be submissive and committed to one another. And yes, sometimes it will feel like one person has a greater portion of this than the other, but the wonderful part about it is that God blesses those who work for peace. The reward will be evident in the quality of our unions.

    No matter how broken things may seem, we can roll up our sleeves and ask God to “Show me where to start!” He will show us how to create an environment of humility through the love of Christ. We must have faith that God will always hold us up, even when we let our guards down in our marriages. When we let down those barriers of rebellion, we will have cultivated a space and place where our partners feel emotionally safe to do the same. Through Christ, we can choose to be the peacemaker, and we will never regret the decision to do so. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Show Me Where to Start” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • It’s Time

    It’s Time

    There’s a question every woman that is single and waiting for the right man to enter her life must ask. It is whether wait mode has caused her to hit the pause button on other vital parts of her life. Sometimes we can do this and not realize it. We might begin to feel that we can’t have a certain level of fulfillment unless we have a spouse or a significant relationship. In Matthew 16:19(NLT), Jesus Christ said “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” This verse is exactly the wisdom we need to release the pause button. If we take heed to its wisdom, we’ll head down a path that pleases God and helps us unlock a truth within that every successfully married woman has opened.

    For many single Christian women, the wait month after month, year after year, has gotten to be exhausting. A sister friend said to me just the other day that she’s been divorced for twenty years, and she never thought she would be single that long. She declared boldly, “It’s time!” I was moved by her declaration and pray that she will cross paths with her future spouse very soon. I’m sympathetic because I have experienced this same frustration, feeling that the wait has been too long. On top of this, it’s discouraging to see so many women that are experiencing the same frustration.

    I’m a firm believer in asking critical questions. I was brought up to believe that a person should never question God, but I have come to know that this isn’t an approach that leads to enlightenment. We can’t open the door to greater truths if we don’t ask questions. So, we must come to God through the Lord Jesus Christ, and humbly ask Him the questions that are on our hearts. Then, we must believe that He will give us the answer. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” If we feel we’re waiting too long for a blessing to come to pass, we must ask God about it and be courageous enough to face the answer. Because this answer will most certainly lead us to a greater demonstration of faith in God through Christ.

    Wisdom is necessary for any pursuit, and it is most certainly a must for marriage. God doesn’t keep His wisdom a secret. He is a God of order, and He tells us how to walk in His blessings continually. The wisdom that leads to walking in God’s blessings continually can be found in Matthew 6:33, where Jesus Christ tells us to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first, and blessings will be added to us. This is a very simple thing, but some of us have made it quite complicated. This verse shows us what is most important to Heavenly Father, and it is that our hearts are anchored in our desire for Him more than any other thing. This speaks to intimacy in our relationship with God. He is showing us how this intimacy is supposed to look. When He sees our lives, there must be irrefutable evidence that seeking Him is our primary focus.

    As women, the desire for marriage and wanting to cross paths with our future husbands feels very natural to many of us. Why is this? Could it be that the desire for marriage is ingrained within? Could it be that somewhere inside of us there is a knowing that marriage is a part of our destiny? Could it be that we pursue our desire for marriage because we can’t imagine not pursuing it? Think about the answers to those questions and then pull the measuring stick out further. Ask yourself if you’ll move to a new city or town if you knew you’d meet your future spouse there? Would you give up a bad habit for his happiness? Would you spend less and give more for the betterment of your marriage? If you will do these things for a human being, you must be willing to do much more for God.

    This strong desire for marriage comes from within, but I submit to you that the purpose to which God has called us is an even stronger desire than the one for marriage. And we will sometimes use our desire for marriage and other things as a way of avoiding the real work that God has called us to do. Our purpose within God’s plan is a treasure that He placed within us in Christ before we were born. We are not allowed to wait until we are married to begin to walk in it.

    Successfully married women of God are convinced of their purpose in the Lord Jesus Christ. We don’t have to know all the details of our purpose, but there must be evidence in our lives that when we are called to carry forth something for the Kingdom, we won’t allow anything to keep us from doing what God has asked of us. Only this kind of commitment to God can sustain the foundation on which a lasting marriage will rest.

    If it requires waiting a hundred years, we must be convinced that God will condition us and give us the strength to wait, and that at the end of our wait will be a tremendous reward. The Apostle Paul gives us a picture of what this looks like in Philippians 4:11-13(NLT). He said, “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

    We can’t afford to put our purpose on pause for any person or any reason. God has no pleasure in watching His daughters yearn for a blessing year after year. He expects us to trust that the secret of living is knowing we can do everything He desires of us through Christ. The secret of living is being committed to follow the example Jesus Christ has given us. Be confident that even though you don’t see things coming together on the marriage front, they are. Let God see that you have placed your desire to please Him above all others. Be willing to spend however long it takes to prove this to Him. When our trust is firmly in God, He will do as He said in Isaiah 45:3 and give us treasures He’s stored up for us. He’ll do this so we will be convinced that He is the One True God, and He is a Father who never fails His children.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “It’s Time!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • More of We Than Me

    More of We Than Me

    My youngest daughter and I were reading one of her books before she went to bed. One of the sentences in the book stated, “I wish for more of we than me.” I instantly thought about how many single women are waiting for their status to be changed from ‘me’ to ‘we.’ They want their lives to include a man by their side instead of it always being themselves alone.  “We” encompasses what God has ordained for the man and the woman. He declared this in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, He tells us that it is not good for the man to be alone, so God made a helper for Adam and named her Eve. The ‘helper’ aspect of partnership is an attitude, willingness, and requirement that is part of the foundation for marriage. It is also true that a good many of us will let this ‘helper’ distinction of partnership slip by us, but it is a big mistake to do this, and here’s why.

    Truly God covers us in His amazing grace, but we can look at our own lives and see clearly that His grace does not exempt us from obedience, NOR does His grace reward us for disobedience. We can dance around this all day and all night, but the thing we need to pay attention to is the realities we face daily. We need to pay attention to what is rewarded in our actions and what is not, because rewards are the evidence of our diligent effort. ALL blessings are spiritual. If the blessing we desire most isn’t manifesting itself in our visible circumstances, this is a spiritual issue. Spiritual issues must be dealt with spiritually.

    God does not withhold blessings, and He doesn’t punish us for any reason. You might ask, “Well, why hasn’t my Mr. Right showed up?” To answer this question, we must come face to face with the truth God has told us in His Word. One of those truths is that God’s blessings continually flow; they never cease. In many cases, the blessings we seek are already in the earth. Your destiny partner may have been born around the same time as you were. He is in the earth right this very moment, doing his thing, as anxious to meet you as you are to meet him. The thing that separates you from him has everything to do with what is happening with you internally.

    Philippians 2:5(KJV) tells us, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” This is not a suggestion by any means. It is a direct commandment, and there is no wiggle room for error or personal interpretation. It is crucial that we learn to think a certain way in order to position and condition ourselves to receive, and this certain way is to think like Christ. It is to have the same attitude, behaviors, and motivations that he had. When it comes to the provision or presentation of a helper, this mind that is in Christ is the only mind that will guide us on the path to the blessing we’re seeking.

    The example of Jesus Christ contains all the lessons of life, but as it relates to marital partnership, there are simply some lessons about his example that we are not allowed to miss. The lesson of “WE” is at the top. The first set of instructions regarding “WE” can be found in the Words of our Master Jesus in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), where he tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”  The most important partnership of your existence is with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. When this relationship is where it needs to be, you will be rewarded with ‘all these things.” This is God’s promise.

    Something happens internally when the button for unyielding dedication to God is switched on in your soul. ‘Helper’ mode is activated. You no longer see yourself as “I”. You see yourself as someone that is purposed to achieve something meaningful for God’s Kingdom. You see yourself as a helper to your marital partner, and you see this as an EXTENSION of your partnership with God. This is a realization and comprehension that cannot come from the world. As you read and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit can help you comprehend mentally and emotionally what is required of you for this deep dedication and commitment first to God, and then to your spouse. It is a dedication and commitment that first must be evident in your relationship with God, and out of your relationship with Heavenly Father, your union with a spouse can be birthed. Marital partnership is a reward for being committed to God. Without this commitment to God, it just doesn’t work.

    Often, when some people hear about the dedication and commitment God expects, they become offended and fearful. They think God expects them to be perfect, and this scares them because they believe it is a standard they are unable to meet. God has this part handled. He tells us in John 16:13 that His Holy Spirit that dwells within us will guide us to all truth. You and I are not perfect. We have been saved through God’s amazing grace, and there’s no mistake that we can make that Heavenly Father can’t correct, but our faith in Him must be constant. So, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being humble before God and recognizing that He alone can and will direct our paths and help us, but our allegiance to Him is the foundation upon which our future marriages must rest.

    Marriage is God’s institution, and it was created for His purpose. God knows the person that will best help us to fulfill our part in His Will and Plan. He knows the person that will greatly benefit from the kind of help we will provide. But you’ve got to play catch-up if there’s no evidence that ‘helper’ mode has been activated in your heart; because the level of commitment we have to this role as a helper of ‘WE’ is the thing that pulls the blessing closer.

    It is a given that we desire to share a bond with someone, but our desire for this bond should never outweigh or come before our commitment to serve God and expand His Kingdom. It is time for us to wake-up and recognize that Heavenly Father is looking at what we are doing today, this very moment, as a helper who is committed to HIM! This says all there is to say about the commitment we’re ready to make to be a helper to a spouse.■

    New King James Version (NKJV)
    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “More of We than Me” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • There’s Nothing Like Getting What You Want

    There’s Nothing Like Getting What You Want

    Isaiah 40:31(NKJV)) says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Every time I hear someone talk about how exhausted they are from dating the wrong person or waiting longer than they’d like to in order to meet the right person, I think of this verse in Isaiah 40:31. All blessings come from God. This is something we must remember continually, so we don’t end up getting tricked out of what is rightfully ours. We can become so impatient that we miss the very opportunity we’ve been waiting to receive. Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to miss out, and this is why He tells us to keep our minds focused on Him. He knows exactly what we need, and only He can give us the blessing that we really want.

    We shouldn’t try to force things, but the truth is that all of us get a little impatient. If we’re being honest, we must admit that we sometimes get tired of waiting for the blessing to manifest. As foreign as it might seem to our way of thinking, it’s actually waiting on the Lord that renews our strength. So even when our hearts are heavy from disappointment, there a few things we can do to help us mount up and stay energized and encouraged for the fulfillment of God’s promises.

    #1 Lean on God’s peace

    Not long ago, someone came to me with a heavy heart about the man in her life. She seemed fed up and exhausted as she expressed how disappointed in herself she’d become. She’s been waiting a very long time for a commitment from her boyfriend. They’ve been together off and on for almost five years and neither one of them have ever been married. She said to me, “I know in my heart that I love him so much, but my head is telling me enough is enough.” I was not about to advise her to follow her heart…OHHH NO! Our hearts don’t always lead us down the right path. What I did say to her was to allow the peace of God to rule in her heart first, so that she’s clear enough to make the right move.

    When we’re agitated and frustrated, we don’t think as clearly, and we miss things. This is when we tend to yield to impatience. A better strategy is to lean on God’s peace. When we cast aside worry, doubt, and fear, and pray in faith with a thankful heart, Philippians 4:7(NLT) tells us, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

    #2 Conserve and Target your strength

    Isaiah 40:31 tells us that God will renew our strength. This lets us know that sometimes our strength dwindles, leaving us feeling depleted and empty. A relationship with a person that isn’t helping us grow spiritually can do this to us; it can deplete our reservoirs. Some of us invest all our energies into the wrong person, and then we don’t have the spiritual discernment or strength to even recognize or attract the right person.

    You and I are responsible for reaching out and grabbing the blessings with our names on them, and this takes spiritual strength. To make sure you’ve got something that God can renew, a wonderful practice is to conserve your spiritual strength. Then you can target it towards the person that deserves it and is destined to receive all that you are able to give.

    #3 Be joyful in the wait

    Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” We are perfectly within our right to hope for marriage, but sometimes we place this hope in a person that isn’t a destiny partner; it’s not the person who can help us grow and thrive in the long run. When we don’t anchor our hope properly, it can become deferred, and we are often heartsick about it. This is especially true when it becomes clear to us that a relationship with a person isn’t going to work out. It hurts, but it shouldn’t cause us to abdicate our dream. The lesson from this is that we shouldn’t make the mistake of placing all our hope in a person. People will let us down, but God never will. Hope must be placed in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. A hope that is deferred can give us extra time to redirect it properly. This means that we will be committed to anchor our faith in God even more, and to be thankful that He is more committed to make our dreams a reality than we could ever be.

    There’s nothing like having hope in something or someone and then suddenly, your dreams become a reality! Heavenly Father wants us to experience this joy, and He’s helping us to achieve it. Romans 5:5(NIV) says, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” The wait for the blessings we desire can most definitely be challenging, but we must remember that God has given us His precious Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is our proof that when we focus all our hope on the faithfulness of God, we will not be ashamed.

    There’s nothing like getting what you truly want, and this is why it is important to be patient in the process. We can be joyful in the wait because our Heavenly Father is helping us prepare to receive through the Lord Jesus Christ. No matter how long it takes, it is always better to wait on God so that the relationship we receive is the one we’ve always wanted. We can have confidence that if we remain prayerful and trust God with our whole hearts, we never have to worry about being disappointed, because God is faithful!■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “There’s Nothing Like Getting What You Want” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Just Right for YOU!

    Just Right for YOU!

    “Marriage is not for me – I just don’t see myself being with the same person year after year.”  Have you ever heard someone make this statement? I have, and I know folks over 50 that have never been married and still continue to feel this way. “Marriage just isn’t my thing…” is another statement I’ve heard some singles make more than a few times. Don’t get me wrong, I know full well that every person isn’t going to desire marriage, and we don’t need to be married in order to have a beautiful life. But if you don’t plan to ever get married, what’s the plan for physical intimacy? We know that God designed this aspect of marriage to bind a couple together in unity, so there’s an obvious question before many folks who hold the opinion that marriage isn’t for them. Is it fair to impede another person’s destiny or desire for marriage by binding yourself to them through sexual intimacy?

    God’s Word is the definitive authority on all things pertaining to life. If God says it, that is indeed IT! He’s left an indisputable key for us in the commandment He made to His people living in Old Testament times. For generations, God specifically commanded His children not to intermarry with people who worshiped idols or who had rejected His truth. We saw the repercussions of violating God’s commandment in the lives of Naomi’s sons, Mahlon and Chilion, in the Book of Ruth. They died young and left their wives widows, and their mother without a source of support.

    Some look at the wisdom of God’s statutes in ridicule. They think to themselves that these standards are not useful to Godly living today. This is a dangerous way to think. Our Heavenly Father’s wisdom is unmatched. None of us can fathom His magnificence and intelligence. He hasn’t changed, nor will He ever change. The precedent He set was unquestionable. He didn’t want His children to take on the energy and be affected by the erroneous beliefs, habits, or cultures of those who would never turn to Him or make Christ the Lord of their lives. In Deuteronomy 23:3-4(NLT), He told them, “3You must not intermarry with them. Do not let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters, 4 for they will lead your children away from me to worship other gods.”

    Some of us bind ourselves to people we have no business bonding with. The best way to prevent this from happening is to ask God whether we are making a mistake before we make it. There’s such a thing as transference. Some refer to it as transmutation, which is engaging in an action that causes your state of being to be altered or changed into something it wasn’t before. Sex does this. Not only is it unfair to mess with someone else’s spiritual journey this way, it’s a sin before God. And tons of people never repent for it.

    In Genesis 2:18(NLT), our Heavenly Father said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” This is the kind of loving Father our God is. He sees our need, and He wants us to depend on Him to fulfill it. But we have a part to play in this. We should try very hard not to alter someone’s spiritual journey or cause them to sin simply to satisfy our own physical pleasure. We are changed in ways we can’t begin to know when we take on the energy of others through physical intimacy. We should honor God and love ourselves enough to not let someone do this to us, and we should refuse to do it to anyone else. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Just Right for YOU!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Tongue of the Wise

    The Tongue of the Wise

    Hebrews 11:6 tells us that our Heavenly Father is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. This should be important to us because all of us should want to please God, and all of us like rewards. They are the subject of many of our prayers. We desire and want blessings that will bring us fulfillment, and we also believe these blessings will help us express ourselves more fully. It’s one of the reasons we desire to partner with a compatible person. We should have confidence that God also desires this for us. He wants to bless us with a wonderful partner that we can share our lives with. Heavenly Father wants this person to be a blessing to us, and He also requires that we be a blessing to them as well. Again, this is His requirement; it’s not a suggestion. You and I can never underestimate the value God places on diligence and stewardship. Spiritual preparation is key to planning for a successful marriage, because God requires that we demonstrate discipline in the areas that keep a marriage strong. One of these areas concerns our mouths—what we say, how we say it, and when we say it.

    “Hey, what’s up big guy.” This is what Vicki says to Jimmy whenever she sees him. She totally ignores the fact that he’s lost over 100lbs and has kept this weight off for the last three years. It doesn’t matter when or where she sees him, the first words out of her mouth is ‘big guy’, and he hates it!  He’s never told her how much it irritates him to hear those words after the struggle he endured to lose all that weight. He said to me, “Vicki is just a co-worker and she’s not someone that I run into that much, but it just shows me that no matter how much you try to change your life, some people will still only see what they want to see.”

    How many of us have done this? Proverbs 12:18(NLT) tells us, “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” As believers, most of us understand that we shouldn’t deliberately make cutting remarks that can potentially hurt someone’s feelings, but some of us tend to do this without realizing it. When Jimmy told me how he felt about Vicki’s comments, his words hurt my heart, and he’s right; people see what they want to see. Sometimes, they need something to wake them up and to stop them in their tracks, so they’ll look at their actions and change.

    As someone’s future spouse, it is important to remember that everyone isn’t at the same level of spiritual maturity. By the same token, everyone isn’t at the same level of emotional maturity. We all have tender places in our hearts where wounds still exist. Hurtful words can cause a world of damage, and although we can apologize for them, we can never take those hurtful words back. Proverbs 18:21(KJV) tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” As believers, our responsibility to the faith is to speak life. In Ephesians 4:32, God tells us to be kind and tenderhearted to each other. We are to be models of Christ before our spouses, God requires it. If we have an attitude of carelessness as it relates to what comes out of our mouths, then we need to change this so we can be the spiritually mature spouses God desires us to be.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Tongue of the Wise”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Our Unlimited Treasure

    Our Unlimited Treasure

    In his parable in Matthew 13:44(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field.” Can you imagine going out into a field and stumbling on a hidden treasure? If you’re a person of great wealth already, you might not be as thrilled to find this treasure as someone that is living paycheck to paycheck. But imagine that this treasure is more than monetary or financial blessings. It’s the treasure of your greatest heart’s desire. Perhaps it’s the spouse you’ve been waiting to meet, or the friends you’d like to have in your life. Maybe it’s good health or restoration of something precious that you’ve lost. Whatever the treasure is, it is beyond valuable to you, so much so that when you find it in a field, you’re beside yourself with joy. You can’t take this treasure with you because it’s too vast for your arms to carry, so you make sure it’s hidden away in the field, so that it’s well kept until you come back for it.

    A parable is a simple story that is used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, and Jesus Christ often used them. They were easy to understand for those who were not quite able to grasp the deeper spiritual meaning. It was relatable and easy for people to envision someone being overjoyed about finding a treasure, because most of us would be ecstatic about this. But this parable requires us to go a little deeper than whats on the surface. In order to grasp what Jesus conveyed through first, the treasure; second, the fields; and third, what it took to secure them, we must seek to have a greater understanding, particularly for those who desire to know the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven.

    In another verse, Matthew 6:21, Jesus Christ talked about treasure as well. He tells us that wherever our treasure is, our hearts will be there with it. This means that you and I go after what we treasure most. If we treasure material riches, we’ll pursue that. If we treasure relationships with others, we’ll pursue those. Jesus is pointing out to us that the Father sees us according to our hearts; this is what speaks the truth about who we are. In other words, God knows what we value most by what we treasure in our hearts.

    In Matthew 13:44, Jesus very clearly tells us that the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure. In truth, the Kingdom of Heaven is far greater than any treasure you and I can imagine, because the Kingdom of Heaven can’t be limited by our human understanding. However, so that we can comprehend on some level the enormous and unlimited value of the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus tells us it is LIKE a treasure. It is a treasure that has no equal, so when a man finds it in the field, he has stumbled upon something for which his excitement is unbridled.

    The question for us is whether we have this level of excitement for the things of the Kingdom, because God expects to see it. He tells us in 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT), “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”  The eyes of God continually and consistently probe the earth, looking to land on the person who has a heart that is loyal and committed to Him. When He finds a person with this kind of heart, His strength and power is unleashed on this person’s behalf.

    So many of us are wondering why we’re not witnessing a mighty move of God in our circumstances, yet, we get up every morning with a pessimistic view of our lives and everything in it. We’re complaining about one thing or another, and excitement about being a part of the Kingdom of Heaven is the furthest thing from our minds. So, when His eyes land upon us, He doesn’t see unbridled gratitude and excitement about being His child. Instead, for many of us He sees our choice to let dissatisfaction, worry, resentment, phobias, fears, grief, loneliness, and doubt consume our souls.

    1Corinthians 4:20(NLT) tells us, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” Many of us don’t get excited because we lack faith that God has empowered us to live with His power. We have the wrong vision of ourselves; and therefore, since we have the wrong vision of ourselves, we have the wrong vision of God. We must understand the impact of our feelings and thoughts; we must comprehend the colors they paint on the portrait of our faith.

    The Kingdom of Heaven is our unlimited treasure, and it is worth losing everything we own to obtain it. Understand that it isn’t enough to say that we think we know this; the evidence is at the very core of who we are. The way we truly feel about God’s Kingdom is evidenced in everything we do, think, feel, and say; there’s no faking this. So every day, you and I should make a commitment to ask the Lord Jesus Christ to help us in this area. We must grow in our understanding of the treasure we have within through our relationship with God through Christ. We must invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within, so we have a greater revelation of what God has given us, and a greater level of gratitude and excitement for being the recipients of His unlimited treasure.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Our Unlimited Treasure” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.