Hebrews 11:6 tells us that our Heavenly Father is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. This should be important to us because all of us should want to please God, and all of us like rewards. They are the subject of many of our prayers. We desire and want blessings that will bring us fulfillment, and we also believe these blessings will help us express ourselves more fully. It’s one of the reasons we desire to partner with a compatible person. We should have confidence that God also desires this for us. He wants to bless us with a wonderful partner that we can share our lives with. Heavenly Father wants this person to be a blessing to us, and He also requires that we be a blessing to them as well. Again, this is His requirement; it’s not a suggestion. You and I can never underestimate the value God places on diligence and stewardship. Spiritual preparation is key to planning for a successful marriage, because God requires that we demonstrate discipline in the areas that keep a marriage strong. One of these areas concerns our mouths—what we say, how we say it, and when we say it.
“Hey, what’s up big guy.” This is what Vicki says to Jimmy whenever she sees him. She totally ignores the fact that he’s lost over 100lbs and has kept this weight off for the last three years. It doesn’t matter when or where she sees him, the first words out of her mouth is ‘big guy’, and he hates it! He’s never told her how much it irritates him to hear those words after the struggle he endured to lose all that weight. He said to me, “Vicki is just a co-worker and she’s not someone that I run into that much, but it just shows me that no matter how much you try to change your life, some people will still only see what they want to see.”
How many of us have done this? Proverbs 12:18(NLT) tells us, “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” As believers, most of us understand that we shouldn’t deliberately make cutting remarks that can potentially hurt someone’s feelings, but some of us tend to do this without realizing it. When Jimmy told me how he felt about Vicki’s comments, his words hurt my heart, and he’s right; people see what they want to see. Sometimes, they need something to wake them up and to stop them in their tracks, so they’ll look at their actions and change.
As someone’s future spouse, it is important to remember that everyone isn’t at the same level of spiritual maturity. By the same token, everyone isn’t at the same level of emotional maturity. We all have tender places in our hearts where wounds still exist. Hurtful words can cause a world of damage, and although we can apologize for them, we can never take those hurtful words back. Proverbs 18:21(KJV) tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” As believers, our responsibility to the faith is to speak life. In Ephesians 4:32, God tells us to be kind and tenderhearted to each other. We are to be models of Christ before our spouses, God requires it. If we have an attitude of carelessness as it relates to what comes out of our mouths, then we need to change this so we can be the spiritually mature spouses God desires us to be.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Tongue of the Wise”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.