Find A Christian Man

Tag: Growing in Christ

  • God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love

    God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love

    I’m sure you’ve heard people make the statement, “You can’t help who you love” or “The heart does what it wants to do.” It’s true that the heart can be untamed in its desires, but God has given us something called free-will. He has also given us the responsibility to exercise the gift of free-will when it comes to what goes in our hearts, and what comes out of them. So, He wants us to take a different approach when it comes to love, because love is serious business. 1 John 4:8(NLT) tells us “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” This verse lets us know definitively that love is a choice. We choose who we want to love and how we want to show it. To love God’s way is, and will always be, the key to success in all relationships.

    The world has a completely different formula and approach; it’s take what you can when you can, and if its anything left-over, take that too. As Christians, this sometimes unconsciously filters into our mindset and affects our relationships. Those that have been single for a long season have a pretty good idea of their likes and dislikes. Through both bad and good experiences, they’ve learned what irritates them, and what makes them feel valued and appreciated. It is good to know what we want, but we can make the mistake of holding so tightly to these things that they get rooted in our hearts.

    1 John 4:13-16 The Message (MSG) says, “13-16 This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.”

    Jesus Christ made it crystal clear in Luke 16:13 that we don’t have the capacity to serve two masters at the same time. James 1:8 tells us that a double-minded person is unstable in all his or her ways. We have the responsibility and privilege to make choices, and staying in the middle is not an option. God is a jealous God. He alone must be worshipped and adored. His love must take centerstage in our hearts and minds, because fear and love cannot occupy the same space. We determine which one rules based on our free-will choice.

    1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT) tells us, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” The love that this verse is pointing to is the all-encompassing, overwhelming, unconditional, unselfish love of God. Our relationship with God must come first, and we must participate in this relationship with Him by embracing His brand of love through the life, ministry, and example of Jesus Christ. This is what attracts blessings like a magnet.

    We live in a world that is riddled with fear, lust, envy, jealousy and pain, all symptoms of the cursed dominion of the devil. It’s in plain sight and gives us an ever-present reminder of what life without God and His love looks like. We have to be ever so careful about the things that we allow to dominate our hearts. God’s love is a huge reality. His love is so awesome that we don’t need to give anything else room. It’s so large that it will consume every crack and crevice of our existence if we allow it. As we make the choice to understand and express it in the way that He desires us to, 2 Thessalonians 3:5 tells us that God will take the wheel and lead us into this kind of contagious, ever-abiding love. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Training in Godliness

    Training in Godliness

    Like many others, I have been glued to the television watching athletes from around the world compete for the gold in the Olympics. I happened to see a segment the other day on what it takes to be an Olympian. Three female athletes were interviewed. They explained the grueling, yet rewarding, preparation and training for the games. They have to pay close attention to what they eat and put into their bodies, and they spend hours working out daily to build their athletic ability. Even their sleep patterns must be regimented. There’s no question about it, to get to the Olympic games requires hard work and pure dedication, and the desire to be the best must be deeply embedded in your DNA.

    As we look at the requirements to be a top-notch athlete, we have to ask ourselves if we’re willing to give our Christians walk with God this same level of dedication and effort. God deserves and desires our best. That’s what He’s given to us. John 3:16(NKJV) tells us, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” God gave His Son, a perfect Savior and Lord, to redeem the world and pay for our sins. He nailed them to the cross and crucified them. He didn’t have to do it, but he did. Through Christ, God has given us the best, and gratitude for this gift should fuel our every endeavor.

    1Timothy 4:8(NLT) tells us, “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” People will give their whole lives towards physical training for an earthly trophy. God requires us to give our whole lives to train in Godliness for a heavenly crown. Through the letters that the Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, God was training Timothy and us to be the leaders He has called us to be. We learn that physical training is good, but the rewards don’t compare to training in Godliness. Yes, there are certainly benefits to being in the best physical shape, and it’s important to stay healthy, but training in Godliness will greatly benefit us in this life and in the life to come.

    Psalm 19:7-8 (NLT) tells us, “7 The instructions of the LORD are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. 8 The commandments of the LORD are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are clear, giving insight for living.” As Christians, we’re training for strength and endurance to run the race that God has placed before us. The equipment that He’s given us to work with is perfect. We will never faint from exhaustion because His Word will continually revive our souls.

    Athletes work hard at being the best in their respective sports, we should place no less effort to put on Godliness so that we represent God’s Kingdom well. We need to spend time in His Word, learning His precepts so that we grow strong spiritual muscles in faith.

    1Corinthians 4:20-21a (NLT) says, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. 21a Which do you choose?” We all have to choose whether we’re running a marathon for God or for the world. At the end, our life’s journey will be measured by the time, energy, and devotion we’ve put forth to make God the number one priority in our lives. He’s given us the example of Christ, the indwelling Holy Spirit, and His matchless Word to help us train in Godliness. If we follow His instructions, our victory and success is guaranteed. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Training in Godliness”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Everyone Had Just Enough‌

    Everyone Had Just Enough‌

    When the Children of Israel were in the wilderness, God fed them manna from heaven. It nourished them to such an extent that none fell to sickness or disease during the entire season of which they ate it. Exodus 16:16-18 says, “16 These are the LORD’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” 17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.”

    God has given us His Word so that we will know the truth, live by it, and walk in it. His truth is unfailing, and there are patterns that He has set forth in His Word for our living and learning. These patterns do not ever change. Numbers 23:19(NLT) tells us, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind.” When He does something that is revealed in His Word, He allows us a window into how He moves. In Exodus 16:16-18, we see the mind and heart of God at work. Manna fell from Heaven, and this demonstrates God’s exceedingly abundant provision; however, you and I must take note that neither greed or lack was tolerated. Everyone had just enough.

    As women, many of us have an innate yearning from youth to be partnered up. We desire a good man that will sweep us off our feet. I believe that God has woven this desire within our make-up as part of His divine plan that we be fruitful and multiply. It’s a beautiful thing, just as He intended it to be. Spiritual maturity demands that with the promise of provision of a good and Godly spouse, we also examine the discipline that God set forth in Exodus 16:16-18. Sometimes our expectations are out of balance. We want a husband to possess attributes and qualities that over exceed what is needed to keep us grounded in God’s plan.

    The Reset of Expectations
    This doesn’t mean that we aim low. Jesus Christ tells us in Mark 11:24(NLT), “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” We absolutely should desire to meet a man that will be committed to us, and love us with the heart of Christ.  But when you pray, you cannot have thoughts that all men are the same, or that you’ll never meet a good man because all the good men are taken. These thoughts do not speak the truth about God’s provision, and therefore, cannot support your faith.

    When we go to Heavenly Father with low expectations, our unbelief is revealed, and this is not helpful to the cause. We can’t have an attitude of ‘maybe God will answer my prayer’, because this is contrary to the truth that Jesus spoke in Mark 11:24. We have to know beyond knowing that God desires to bless us because He wants to see us happy and fulfilled, more than we want it for ourselves.

    Equaling Out the Scale
    While it is a blessing and a treasure to become someone’s wife, we must understand the other side of the equation, which is the capacity to satisfy the responsibility of caring for another person’s heart and well-being. The degree of your expectation must equal your preparedness and commitment to walk by the example of Christ, to love and serve out of a heart filled with his love.

    Galatians 6:7(NLT) tells us, “Don’t be misled:  No one makes a fool of God.  What a person plants, he will harvest.” This verse reminds us to be cognizant of the balance upon which God has established His laws. He is a God of order, and order demands that we walk in alignment and harmony with His Word. He instructs us to pray with faith, and to have our expectations appropriately aligned. If we’re not quite there yet, we need to pray to God for guidance and direction through the Spirit of Christ, so that we can experience the fulfillment of our desires. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “Everyone Had Just Enough”, written by FACM for FindChristianMan.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • A Strong and Stable Union

    A Strong and Stable Union

    Call me old fashion, but I still believe that adhering to the virtuous standards God has set in His Word are the absolute best chance any of us have for a successful relationship. Staples like good communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to be vulnerable are necessary, but there’s one particular standard that is an absolute must, and it is being accountable for one’s own actions.

    Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. In like manner, a person is known by the deeds they produce. He tells us in Luke 6:45(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” The heart has storage capacity; it is the keeper of things that make us distinctive and unique. It is also the place from which you and I produce fruit. If we’ve stored up good things in our hearts, then we’ll produce good things; and if we’ve stored up evil things in our hearts, we’ll produce evil things.

    It would be wonderful to say that we’re continually producing good things in our relationships, but we all know this isn’t true. Relationships with spouses and potential partners will bring out some bad fruit that we didn’t even know we had. And the thing that makes it worse is to deny culpability.

    The world is unstable and it is filled with unstable people. God has equipped and called us to be different than the world. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NLT), “Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful.” Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we are expert builders, uniquely qualified by God to build on the foundation that Jesus laid. This is exactly what a marital union is. It’s an addition to our lives that expands the foundation of Christ. It is therefore our responsibility as God’s children to keep our unions strong and stable. This is more important to Heavenly Father than it is to us.

    Humility and faith create spiritual stability. They are the staples that give a relationship legs. In situations of contention, even if we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong, if it is injurious to our partners, we must be humble enough to share blame. We may have believed the fruit to be good, but when it fell from the tree, it was not fresh. In other words, the deed may not have been intended to wound, hurt, offend, or injure; but if that was the end result, something about the way we put it out there wasn’t on point. Humility requires that we acknowledge this, and faith requires us to trust that in the end, even if the other person was at fault, God will make everything right.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Strong and Stable Union”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When God Reroutes You

    When God Reroutes You

    victory-that-wayThe other day, I woke up early to go pick up a new table that I’d been wanting for a while. Since it was Saturday, I figured if I got up early enough I could beat the weekend traffic to the stores. Got on the road and was making good time until I saw flashing lights on the highway. The police were informing travelers that the exit I needed to take had been closed. I would need to use an alternate route, and planned on getting off the next exit to re-route myself. What I didn’t’ realize was that traffic would come to a complete halt before I could even reach this exit. It frustrated me to no end that I was being blocked from what I wanted to do, and that what would have taken me 20 minutes, took me two-hours instead.

    Unexpected delays in life can be very frustrating, but sometimes those delays are purposeful and for our good in the long run. There are times when we become so used to doing things on our own that we don’t think to slow down and ask God if we’re doing it His way. It’s not because we don’t care, but things slip by us when we’re not paying attention.

    In Matthew 11:30 (KJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” These are beautiful words from the Master’s lips, and we can become so taken by the compassion he has expressed that we neglect the practicality of the lesson he’s taught. Love’s path is smooth. It is not bumpy as many would have us to believe. It seems bumpy and uneasy because bumpy and uneasy is often the approach most of us employ in our own lives.

    There are lots of individuals who don’t know what it is to struggle, but there are lots more who do. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, hustling back and forth constantly, and trying to squeeze as much out of meager resources as possible is common place for many of us. We become so used to the grind that we begin to think that God moves like we move. Heavenly Father tells us in Isaiah 55:8 (NLT), “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

    Heavenly Father is the God of love, light, liberty, and life. He moves effortlessly, with great ease. We need to fall in alignment with how He moves, not the other way around. Sometimes, we want things that look like the best, but actually isn’t GOD’s best. We also can become too impetuous and make a move without prioritizing the things of God in the right order. When our condition is one of moving outside of His divine will and timing, He will correct us. Proverbs 3:11-12(NLT) tells us, “11 My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.”

    God doesn’t require a lot, only that we keep Him first and love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, and all of our souls! It’s His good pleasure to take care of us, and we need to trust this. He wants us to have a good life and have the best of everything, but like any loving parent, He corrects those He loves. Sometimes this correction reroutes us. This is done to bring attention to the reality that we’re veering away from the path we’re supposed to be on. We will never know the extent to which He keeps us from harming ourselves through blockers and wake-up calls, and we should thank Him continually for loving us enough to correct and redirect us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When God Reroutes You”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Pay-Off of Sacrifice

    The Pay-Off of Sacrifice

    One of the things that we learn very early in Christian life is that we can’t just do anything we like. There are disciplines to the faith, and there are sacrifices that we need to make in the present that are required for our long-term benefit. In other words, we most definitely have to deny ourselves some things that may bring us temporary pleasure. Perhaps we indulged them before we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and maybe we’re still dabbling a bit here and there, but the temporary pleasure that these things bring will not compare to the long-term benefit we will receive if we push them away. The pay-off of the sacrifice will prove to be a blessing that will carry us from one level to the next.

    Ephesians 4:20-24(ESV) tells us, “20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage makes it clear that we must put off some things, and do without them, so that we can put on and gain something better. As we pursue the promise of marriage with a Godly man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church, we must understand that capacity must be built within us. We have to expand spiritually, and Ephesians 4:20-24 is how expansion is initiated, by putting off the less useful to make room for the more useful.

    To expand spiritually, something worldly must die. This makes perfect sense. It’s one of the reasons that the sacrifice of Christ is so meaningful. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV) tells us, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus Christ, who never sinned, actually became sin, so that we could be redeemed. So we understand that in order for us to gain a relationship with God, a death had to occur; and not just any death, but that of His only begotten Son. A sacrifice of pure blood had to be paid, so that we could have the righteousness of Christ and thereby have a relationship with Heavenly Father. Something tremendously precious was made a curse, and then sacrificed, so that we could grow, expand, and increase continually in Christ. This pattern of putting off and putting on was initiated by the Master.

    This is so monumentally important to understand because a lot of Christians are struggling with a kid-in-a-candy-store mentality. They forget the words of Jesus Christ in Luke 12:48 when he declared that for the person who receives much, much will be required. Let’s be very clear, when it comes to the promises of God, He doesn’t promise anything and everything. This is one of the reasons God tells us to stay in His Word, so that we will know the conditions on which His promises rest.

    God loves us so much, and He wants us to be fulfilled and have our desires met more than we do, but His promises rest on the foundation of our faith in Him. If we lack the faith to deny ourselves temporary pleasures for our long-term spiritual gain, then we certainly don’t have the faith to sustain a lifelong relationship. This is not meant to place anyone in self-condemnation, because self-condemnation paralyzes us, and God doesn’t want this. The right knowledge is power. God wants us to go from having no knowledge to having right knowledge, so that we are no longer ignorant in the things that pertain to His Kingdom. When we know better, we have the capacity to do better.

    Psalm 37:4-5(ESV) says, “4Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Our delight must be in the Lord, not in the temporary pleasures that cause us to displease Him. If our believing is not strong enough to press into God this way, He’s not going to make the presentation of a spouse until we have strengthened ourselves in His Word, so that our faith is full steam ahead. This is why our prayers as singles should be to grow in faith so that we are spiritually prepared for marriage. We should be asking God to reveal the areas where our believing is weak, and help us to be strong in those areas. If we will do this, when we finally do marry, we will be able to stand back to back with our spouses and guard the union of our marriages against the weapons of the enemy. ■

    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “The Pay-Off of Sacrifice”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • ‘RING’ In the New Year?

    ‘RING’ In the New Year?

    Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago, but today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes, and it’s “ride-or-die.” It defines a sista that I happen to know personally to the tee. There are no other words in the English vocabulary that would do justice to her level of allegiance when it comes to her relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

    Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

    Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the man for her.

    As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind and a notorious intolerance for non-sense.  It’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion.

    Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for her world is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe. When it is inconvenient, it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored.

    Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything on our hearts before Him. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Whatever the reason for our expectations not being met, we need not have fear, but trust in the power of God to set our feet on the right course.

    1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward she must. Robert knows what caliber of woman she is. Mia’s proven herself to be loving, committed, respectful, and tremendously resourceful. What deserving man wouldn’t be choppin’ at the bits to call someone like her ‘wifey’?  I’m sure that when the dust settles and the swelling goes down, she may be able to reach this conclusion herself. If she does, it’s a sure sign that she’s ready to release the fear and reach out to grab the love of the man God has in store for her.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “’RING’ In the New Year”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Shine Bright This Holiday Season!

    Shine Bright This Holiday Season!

    Matthew 5:14 (NLT)
    “You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket.  Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.”

    Yep! We’ve officially commercialized the holidays to the nth degree. We’ve managed to turn them from celebrations of thankfulness for the goodness of God and the birth of our Lord and Savior, to being much about the hustle and bustle of shopping. But even though there’s not much time during the holidays for quiet reflection, peace, and rest; no one can argue that it’s still a very special season. For many of us it’s an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, make new memories, and to share with others.

    Matthew 5:14 reminds us that we are children of light, because the light of Christ shines within us. This time of the year is special because it gives us an opportunity to really pour it on in terms of generosity and thoughtfulness. It doesn’t take a whole lot of money to demonstrate the love of God, but it does require a willingness to bring His love out in the open through kindness and compassion, so it gives light to those who desperately need to see it.

    I know that I’m not the only one that has heard an unmarried person complain about spending the holidays without a significant someone in their lives. The advice of Jesus Christ for us is to get off the hamster wheel of same ol’ and do things a little different. For those desiring marriage, being single is a temporary status; enjoy it! Don’t let this season of giving and merriment be overshadowed by prevailing doubt. Occupy your mind with the spirit of thankfulness and gratitude.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 25:29(NLT), “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” God does not hide the truth that He’s all about expansion and increase. His Word never returns to Him void, and His love is eternal; it just keeps giving and giving. He created us to be givers like Him, and to refuse to increase our giving and sharing as we grow in Christ is to live in reverse. It’s sad to state, but many of us are in this boat.

    When we’re looking to increase by uniting ourselves with another person for life, we can’t afford to lean too much on the ‘all about me’ side. That’s always going to be a problem.

    A heart and spirit of thankfulness for what we have and for what we’ve been given will open the door for more of God’s goodness. Abundance and increase should be every Christians reality. And if it’s not, let’s make a greater commitment to do more for the Kingdom of God and be the bright lights He’s called us to be. Get back to God’s way of doing things. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into greater ways to give and be a blessing this Christmas holiday, and also in the New Year! ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Shine Bright This Holiday Season!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • How Can One Be Warm Alone?

    How Can One Be Warm Alone?

    One day, my youngest daughter asked me a question that, when answered, began a myriad of other questions; not just in her mind, but mine as well. Children are so inquisitive. They are curious in a way that sometimes forces adults to think deeply about things they haven’t given much thought. “Mommy, where do babies come from?” my daughter asked. Without even thinking, I answered, “they come from mommy’s bellies.” She followed up with, “But how do they get in there?” I replied, “They come from mommy and daddy.” With her sweet voice soaked in puzzlement, she said to me, “But my friend Aisha doesn’t have a daddy.”

    The initial question from my five-year old no doubt has been asked of many mothers, fathers, and teachers. Whether it is because of divorce, a broken relationship or one parent deciding not to stick around, the number of single-parent households has been on the rise since the 50s. In today’s society, there’s a large number of single parents (single mothers in particular) that are answering the call alone of being provider, nurturer, and protector to their children. It’s not an easy gig, and we spend a lot of time thinking and talking about the complexities of doing it all while being single. The risk in this is that we don’t always focus on some of the challenges our children face in a single-parent home.

    One of the most common challenges stems from the hustle that a single parent must keep up in order to provide for the family. Even though the children are the highest on the parent’s list of priorities, sometimes it doesn’t feel this way to them because the parent doesn’t have the luxury of time to spare. This can add an extra layer of guilt for any single parent, but as Christians, we have God’s grace, and it literally obliterates guilt. For people that haven’t developed a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, wearing all the hats as a single parent can be overwhelming, to the point of major melt-downs for the family. This has the potential to lead to long lasting problems down the road. But when you understand and trust that God is the glue that holds all the pieces together, you begin to trust not only in your destiny as a parent, but in the destiny of your child as well.

    The indwelling Holy Spirit is more than an equalizer. He takes what the enemy means for bad and turns it around for our good. He will most certainly do this for our children. As we cover them in prayer, Heavenly Father gives us the time, energy, and opportunity to minister where our children need the most attention. We are not perfect parents, but if we will allow Christ to be in the driver’s seat, he will help us beyond our expectations in the area of parenting. It is by far a spiritual relationship of trust that we must have with him, and we must allow him room to work through us as we impact the lives of our children.

    Another crucial component that we must grasp very tightly and emphatically is that our children must see us as transformational rather than always being transactional. They see the grind, and put two and two together that we are hustling to put food on the table and clothes on their backs, but what about the transformational part? Are we truly being the conduits to connect our children to the God of the bible—their Creator who loves them to pieces?

    I remember a time when I would ask one too many questions and would be scolded for it. Many adults have had the ‘why’ canceled out of them this way, and it is one of the reasons that we aren’t as curious as we should be regarding the things of the Kingdom. This cancelling-curiosity bug is not something we should pass on, but on the contrary, we should seek to nip it in the bud and make sure our children realize that God’s way is the way of faith, and it is extraordinary.

    Heavenly Father calls upon us to be transformed by renewing our minds to His Word. This means that we are to create an atmosphere of faith that is heavy with expectancy. Children shouldn’t be made to wear a mindset of doubt that they’ve inherited from a single parent’s resentment or unbelief. They can feel a sense of hopelessness in their home environment when the parent wants to have help, wants to partner in marriage, but doesn’t have the faith that it’ll happen. Children are very perceptive, and again, a mindset of doubt shouldn’t be something we want to pass on to them. They should be given a healthy diet of hopefulness, and we’re the ones to feed it to them.

    Families is what makes us stronger, and it is also what makes our children stronger; whether it is a one parent family or two. However, we cannot deny the advantages of being joined together with a loving partner. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”  Spouses make up the dynamic team that God ordained. It’s a great dream to have, and if it’s your dream as a single parent, keep it fueled with faith. It will help to create an atmosphere of hope in your home, where you and your kids are continually inspired by what the power of God will produce.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “How Can One Be Warm Alone?” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

     

  • Squeezing Fear Out of Your Relationship

    Squeezing Fear Out of Your Relationship

    Just about every Christian has heard the record regarding Job in the Old Testament. Depending on each individual, his story is impactful for different reasons; and those reasons change as we reread the Book of Job. Each time our appreciation for this account deepens and we find the jewel of another life lesson. For some, Job’s patience is the thing that stands out most. For others, it might be his allegiance to God. One of the things that I find most valuable is the lesson about Job’s fear, and how it opened the door for the enemy to reap havoc in his life. In Job 3:25, he said, “What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true.”

    Again, this verse hit home for me as I comforted a friend recently that is struggling in her finances. Her husband walked out on her and their kids a few years ago, because he had never gotten over his first wife. My friend said she knew this in her heart, but she loved him so much and wanted desperately to be married. She said to me, “I’ve buried my face in the sand and let my fears run my life!” That’s a very transparent realization. It’s the kind that can lead to real healing from the Master.

    There were red flags in this woman’s relationship way before she got married, but she ignored them because of the fear of being alone. As women, we do this all the time – we overlook what is so apparent to us for the sake of being loved. We forget that God desires to anchor His daughters so deep in His love that their cups are overflowing in it. He wants us to be overwhelmingly fulfilled, much more than we could ever imagine, but when He sees that we are making decisions that are not in our best interest, He will absolutely allow us to make them. This is one of the things that the account of Job demonstrates for us.

    Job’s children were an unruly lot, and he was so afraid that they had done something against the Will of God, that he constantly offered sacrifices on their behalf. Job 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “When these celebrations ended—sometimes after several days—Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, “Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular practice.””  His mind-and-heart-set was one of fear instead of an understanding of what it means to have faith in God. Faith is how we demonstrate gratitude and love towards Heavenly Father; without it, our relationship with Him lacks intimacy. As sisters in the Lord, we sometimes make the mistake of looking for this intimacy in our relationship with men before we have established it with Heavenly Father. This is out of order, because Jesus Christ has schooled us that God must be sought first. He’s priority number one. So any time we step outside this alignment, we’re going to compromise our relationship with Heavenly Father, and we’re going to reap the consequence of wrong actions and bad choices.

    Sisters in the Lord, our desire to partner comes already baked in our makeup. It is important to acknowledge this so that we are confident that God would never withhold the blessing of marriage from us. The issue is never about punishment or withholding the blessing, so as intelligent, spiritual thinkers, we must deduce that the issue is something else. Our problem is that we will not be as transparent about our fear as we need to be. We will not recognize that we’re settling for something that isn’t God’s best because we are fearful of loneliness or lack. Whenever fear drives our decisions, we’re in disobedience to the Will and Word of God.

    Before we reach the juncture of poor decisions and wrong choices, God warned us. If we take the time to reflect, we’ll remember those instances when He sent someone across our paths to slow us down a bit. Maybe it was a Word that we heard at Sunday service, or a word of wisdom spoken to you. Perhaps you asked your close friend whether you should continue dating the man you love, and her answer was one you didn’t like. There are many ways in which the indwelling Holy Spirit nudges us to choose better, but we ignore them for the sake of having a warm body next to us.

    The easy way out is to suppress what you fear the most in hopes that if you don’t pay it any attention, it will simply go away. But the truth is that un-resolved fear will continue to show up and manifest in other areas and relationships. Like Job, we have to face it! Facing it is the only way to squeeze it out of our relationships. You and I don’t know what this looks like entirely, if we did, we would have surrendered it to God through Jesus Christ a long time ago. It is a situation that requires us to let go and let God. This means that we first repent, recognizing that we, if even on a subconscious level, have allowed our relationship with God to slip to second. Then, we need to be willing to invest whatever it takes to shift our every focus on Heavenly Father. When we do this, we put the squeeze on fear, and allow the Holy Spirit the room to heal us and repair our relationships as well.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Squeezing Fear Out of Your Relationship”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!