Call me old fashion, but I still believe that adhering to the virtuous standards God has set in His Word are the absolute best chance any of us have for a successful relationship. Staples like good communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to be vulnerable are necessary, but there’s one particular standard that is an absolute must, and it is being accountable for one’s own actions.
Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. In like manner, a person is known by the deeds they produce. He tells us in Luke 6:45(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” The heart has storage capacity; it is the keeper of things that make us distinctive and unique. It is also the place from which you and I produce fruit. If we’ve stored up good things in our hearts, then we’ll produce good things; and if we’ve stored up evil things in our hearts, we’ll produce evil things.
It would be wonderful to say that we’re continually producing good things in our relationships, but we all know this isn’t true. Relationships with spouses and potential partners will bring out some bad fruit that we didn’t even know we had. And the thing that makes it worse is to deny culpability.
The world is unstable and it is filled with unstable people. God has equipped and called us to be different than the world. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NLT), “Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful.” Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we are expert builders, uniquely qualified by God to build on the foundation that Jesus laid. This is exactly what a marital union is. It’s an addition to our lives that expands the foundation of Christ. It is therefore our responsibility as God’s children to keep our unions strong and stable. This is more important to Heavenly Father than it is to us.
Humility and faith create spiritual stability. They are the staples that give a relationship legs. In situations of contention, even if we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong, if it is injurious to our partners, we must be humble enough to share blame. We may have believed the fruit to be good, but when it fell from the tree, it was not fresh. In other words, the deed may not have been intended to wound, hurt, offend, or injure; but if that was the end result, something about the way we put it out there wasn’t on point. Humility requires that we acknowledge this, and faith requires us to trust that in the end, even if the other person was at fault, God will make everything right.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“A Strong and Stable Union”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!