Find A Christian Man

Tag: Overcoming Obstacles

  • Igniting A Spark in His Heart

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This is a great verse for anyone questioning whether God is in their corner when it comes to their quest to be married. Every time I read this verse, I’m reminded of a good friend. He said to me, “I’m no good at living alone or being by myself!” He made this statement a few years before he married his wife. He had a few relationships earlier on, but he struggled to find a balance between being a single father, prioritizing the needs of a significant other, and handling the pressure of being a successful professional. When his son went off to college, the need for someone with good maternal instincts slipped off the list, and he just wanted a companion to spend the rest of his life with. He’s an attractive person, and I found it particularly surprising how challenging he thought it was for him to find a compatible mate.

    A few years passed before he met someone that he was interested in dating long-term. He complained that many of the women he found attractive didn’t seem to have solid values or substance. They were ok with just casually dating and anything else that might come along with it. He’s a man with Christian values and wanted the woman he’d marry to not only appreciate this, but to be equally as committed to them as he was. You would think this wouldn’t be too challenging to find, and for him, it was.

    I believe the Lord allows us to hear and see certain things for a reason, and my friend’s situation opened my eyes wider to a few tweaks I needed to make. Sometimes, God lets us see and hear about situations so we will glean a bit of wisdom and take proactive measures to change or alter something in our own lives. Through James the Apostle, God tells us in James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Most single believers understand that wisdom is the principal thing and is necessary for a successful marriage, but they want to wait until they’re married to learn those foundational lessons. We need to be well-seasoned. This means the seeds that are planted now will blossom and be a part of us before we’re married. Then we will be able to nurture and support our spouses with compassion and understanding through tough times.

    My friend had attended plenty of functions where several Christian women were present, but he was waiting for a spark that connected with him. As I thought about his predicament, I began to understand that if our lights are hidden or we’re not in the habit of keeping them well lit, we may not be able to ignite a spark or recognize the need for it in someone else.

    We must ask ourselves if we have become so accustomed to our own habit patterns and thoughts about how we’ll function in marriage, that we don’t have room for God’s Will and Purpose. If our desire is to be mostly occupied with having our own needs met, we will be closed off from the one who seeks to fill a void. God tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Finding a wife is admirable in the Father’s eyes. He instructs the man to do the finding, and He tells the woman how to guard her heart so she will be found. Both are equally important, but distinct, because this is the way God wanted it. We will be frustrated and disappointed in this area if we don’t honor God’s order; for He always knows best.

    Some single women that are successful in their careers may argue they don’t need a man to achieve success, and when they’re ready, they’ll begin to look for a spouse. Success in a career does not equate to a successful marriage. Jesus Christ reminds us in John 15:5 that he must be in the driver’s seat of our lives, and especially in our relationships. We don’t want to let the enemy in through pride. Marriage is God’s institution, and His way tells us that a mindset of unity, striving together, and appreciating each other’s uniqueness is required for a successful union. Having two people face challenges together extends a feeling of confidence and security about overcoming any obstacle.

    If we ask Him, through the Holy Spirit that indwells us, Heavenly Father will help us develop the qualities that will magnetize us to the presentation He will make. We need His spark through the Lord Jesus Christ, and if we are diligent to His Word we’ll have it. Some of us have never asked God to do this work within us, or to do it within the heart and mind of the man He will present to us. Now is the perfect time to add this very important request to your prayer life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Igniting A Spark In His Heart” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Finesse of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

    Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT) tells us, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” God’s wisdom is golden, and it will never fail, but many of us single believers find the first sentence in this passage challenging. When it comes to accepting the good counsel of others in the area of dating and relationships, some of us turn a deaf ear. We even get angry and think, “Who does she think she is? She’s not perfect and is in no position to be criticizing me!” When it comes to the world, we will accept counsel from all manner of individuals; we’ll even pay for it, and yet many of these individuals are not Godly. So, a person doesn’t have to be perfect to give useful counsel. Of course, a healthy dose of discernment in this area is biblical and beneficial, but this discernment shouldn’t exclude hearing sound wisdom from someone who tells it like it is. Sometimes we need to hear criticism, no matter the delivery. We need to try it on for size, and allow the Holy Spirit to confirm whether or not it fits.

    We all have habit patterns that we’ve developed over our lifetimes. Some of these are very entrenched. When this happens, it’s like we have on blinders. We can’t see where we may be going wrong, and we can’t tell when we’ve veered off the path God would have us to be on. In short, we can’t detect when we, ourselves, are the root cause of why we’re not receiving the blessing we desire most. We can’t see that something within us is blocking our blessing. In this state, very often we have to be shocked into paying attention.

    What does this look like? Well, sometimes people will bluntly blurt out a criticism at us, and we are appalled by their audacity. It’s cutting! They come at us sideways, and we’re immediately offended to the point of anger. Sometimes this is the only way we will pay attention to the truth we need to hear. We haven’t dealt with ourselves honestly in areas that are integral to further growth in Christ and to attaining the blessing we’ve been praying to receive. God has designed life to hurl wake-up alarms when we’re in this state, and sometimes, those alarms are anything but subtle.

    Even mature Christians have a hard time with constructive criticism, because it means you’re pointing out to them an error they’ve not confronted. People continue with poor or bad behavior because no one has pointed it out or confronted them in a way that gets their attention. It is not unusual for pain of some kind to be connected to their refusal to confront their stuff. As Christians, we have to be aware of this because the wisdom of Proverbs 29:1 (NLT) tells us, “Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.”

    Constructive criticism stings, but it’s good for us, and we would do well to stop reacting adversely and impetuously to it, and instead examine ourselves. This is the spiritually mature way to handle things. When you develop an understanding of how those little stings of constructive criticism from others help you to grow as a person, your level of compassion expands. You learn to be a person who can dole out constructive criticism yourself, and you’re more careful to do it in the most loving way possible. This is a discipline that will help us in our future marriages. When our hearts are stamped with the memory of what it feels like to be cut, we will learn to think before we speak and to be careful with our words.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) tells us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Godly finesse teaches us that every situation must be handled differently, depending on the person, because not everyone reacts the same to criticism. When you’re dealing with a loved one, emotions can sometimes run high, so before giving constructive criticism, we should make sure to take the situation to God in prayer first. Our commitment to humble ourselves before Him and to be led by the Holy Spirit regarding what to say will ensure that our intention is in the right place. We will add a benefit instead of sabotaging the opportunity to be helpful.

    For ourselves, we would do well to remember that when we hear the truth from someone who lacks finesse about it, it may land harshly, but it does so because we have probably refused or neglected to hear it before. It may be our final opportunity to confront some baggage without facing a drastic consequence. When it comes to giving constructive criticism, we must make sure it’s in alignment with God’s Word, so that the wisdom we give will be sound and delivered with love. Whether we’re on the receiving or giving end of things, the piece of wisdom all of us must acknowledge is that failure is imminent if we veer off the path God has set for us. We can’t be stubborn or arrogant. Receiving constructive criticism or delivering it to others requires the finesse of spiritual maturity. We must let the Holy Spirit have the final word so a productive outcome is achieved for all concerned.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Finesse of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Breaking the Chains of Loneliness

    In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A person that has never experienced the bondage of things like addiction, debt, lack, loneliness, or imprisonment of any kind, may not appreciate the significance of the words of Christ in this verse. They may not be able to imagine the joy of being set free from those things. But for anyone that has ever been held captive by a condition, circumstance, or situation of any kind, the words of Christ in this verse bring forth God’s enormous love, grace, and power. Jesus has promised that once we know and trust God’s truth, it will literally transfer us out of what we’re in and release us into the glorious state of liberty! All of us should desperately want this, because when it comes to years of loneliness and being without the love we desire, we need to be set free.

    Words like independence, self-government, rights and privileges come to mind when we think about the word ‘freedom.’ It is a state of not being enslaved or imprisoned by anything oppressive. This is liberty! It is such an important word for the Christian. Before Christ came into our lives, we were enslaved by the bondage of darkness. We were held captive by the evil one who enslaves through ignorance and evil. In 2Timothy 2:25-26, through the Apostle Paul, God tells us to gently instruct people that oppose the truth of His Word. We’re instructed to pray that they will come to their senses and accept God’s truth, so they can escape the devil’s trap. God tells us that they are being held captive by the devil so they can do whatever the devil wants. This is the state we were in before we accepted Christ.

    Colossians 1:13(NLT) informs us of what God did for us when we invited Jesus Christ into our hearts. It says, “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son.” We were in darkness, doomed to an eternal hell without Christ. You and I don’t have the capacity to visualize how truly tragic and horrifying a life in hell is, but we absolutely can visualize what it means to be free from hell’s grip, because we are living the reality of this liberty every day. As believers, if we haven’t come into an understanding about where we were before we accepted the Lord Jesus Christ, we won’t truly appreciate the liberty he has made available to us now. And if we don’t appreciate the liberty that Christ has given us, we won’t walk in it. You cannot fully embrace, walk, and live in something you’re not thankful to receive.

    Loneliness is defined as a sadness experienced by a person that doesn’t have friends, or who feels isolated because of feeling unloved and undervalued. It cannot be lost on us that loneliness is a form of bondage. In Luke 4:18(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.” This is what Jesus Christ came to do. He came to give us access to a more than abundant life, and to break chains of oppression and bondage of every kind, so that we can walk in his liberty and be free!

    The way to receive what Jesus Christ has made available is to know the truth. Truth is medicine that is administered to the head and heart. This tells us that bondage is more than external circumstances. Bondage begins internally, in the mind and heart, and this is where the condition of loneliness must be first addressed. To do so, we must admit to ourselves how much (or how less) we have truly accepted the finished work of Christ in our hearts. We must examine if anything, including loneliness, has hindered our demonstration of gratitude to God for rescuing us from darkness and giving us liberty in Christ.

    Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. Will you trust God and trust in His power and in His way? God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider the liberty He’s given us, as well as all the other blessings we have received through Christ! Do you believe in the depth of your heart and soul that God will bless you to cross the path of your future spouse? God has set you free from hell through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He’s saved you from damnation for all eternity. You will never see satan’s dwelling place or go through the everlasting torture the devil wants to inflict on you. Because of what God has done through Christ, you will never be separated from His love.

    Heavenly Father did all of this for us when we were at our worse. Consider the wealth of all that God has already done to demonstrate His love. John 3:16(NLT) tells us “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” God spared not His only Son so that all of us that are born-again could be His sons and daughters. Do you think a Great Big Wonderful God like this would deny you a loving spouse? It would grieve His heart for us to think that. He loves us so much, and we must realize this.

    Faith demands that you be deeply thankful, from the bottom of your heart, for what God has already done for you through Christ. He has delivered you from darkness. He’s broken the chains of loneliness for every person who believes in the finished work of Christ. Invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within your heart. Ask the Lord to help increase your faith so that you walk in God’s Will and in the liberty of knowing the truth! Your future spouse is going to greatly bless your life, and he deserves to meet you loosed and free.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Breaking the Chains of Loneliness” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!

    Witnessing a miracle thousands of years ago when our blessed Savior walked the earth was just as extraordinary as it is to witness a miracle today. However, one could argue that the needs of many people were much greater back then. During the time of his ministry, people were amazed and excited by the wondrous acts of love that Jesus was able to do. News spread quickly about his power and compassion. John 6:1 tells us that large crowds began to gather and follow him because they saw him miraculously heal the sick. During this time, they didn’t have hospitals or conveniently located doctors’ offices and medical treatment centers. Without a local community person that was well-versed in homeopathic herbs, many people suffered through diseases and illnesses in agony. The severity of their situations compelled them to zoom in on Jesus with razor-sharp attention. They were looking for a miracle, and he didn’t disappoint them. He won’t disappoint us either.

    John 6 tells us a great multitude followed him after Jesus left Jerusalem and was back in the area of Galilee. As soon as we hear the name ‘Jesus’ in the same sentence as the word ‘multitude’, our thoughts are immediately braced for the epic love transaction that is about to take place. We know certainly that our Lord and Savior was all too capable of doing the miraculous, and that the great need of others would be met by his willingness to perform according to the Father’s Will.

    People of all backgrounds, ages, and conditions were attracted to his great power, and he knew they would be. He wanted them to come to him because he possessed the healing, restoration, and love they desperately needed. We should all aspire to be spiritually strong in Christ, so that others can see the strength of our faith and glorify God. Our faith in God has drawing power, and if we remain close to Him, it will pull people and resources that will both bless us and allow us to be a blessing.

    As was his custom, you and I can guess with a great deal of probability that Jesus Christ had already received revelation about what was going to occur in John 6. In John 5:19(NLT), the preceding chapter, Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” No doubt Jesus spent quality time in prayer with Heavenly Father in the wee hours of the morning, and God had already revealed to him what was going to transpire and how he should handle the situation.

    It was around the time of Passover, and John 6:5(NLT) tells us that while sitting on a hill with his disciples, they saw the huge crowd coming towards Jesus. He turned to Philip and asked a question, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Jesus was not looking to Philip for a resolution, because he knew Philip had doubt in his heart. In John 6:7(NLT), Philip responded, “Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!” There were about five thousand men, and this count did not include the women and children that were there as well. Philip saw this situation as outside the limits of what they could handle. The revelation of the enormous power and authority of Jesus Christ slipped by him, and it really shows us how careful we must all be not to let this happen.

    The miracle that Jesus performed in John 6 would not be the first of which Philip would see. As a disciple, he had been with Jesus and had seen him do many marvelous works, yet, the crowd, the bigness of the situation, caused Philip to go to a place he had been many times before. It caused him to shrink back to doubt, because like many of us, doubt for him was comfortable. Understand that God is able and willing to go beyond anything you can ask or think, and the only thing that is required from us is to trust and believe in His ability and willingness.

    In John 6:9, Andrew spoke up and said, “Hey, there’s a boy over there, and he has five loaves of bread and two fish, but we can’t feed all these people with this little bit of food.” It cannot be lost on us that this boy with seemingly too little food to feed a multitude of thousands was strategically positioned for the purpose of God. Not only did he have the right amount of food, but he was in the right place at the right time. He had just enough for the miracle that was about to take place. This allows us to see that although we may not be the most talented; we might be the most attractive or intelligent. In fact, we may think we’re not enough or that we don’t have the qualifications to do all the things we desire to do, but God can take the little bit we have and make it great! We are exactly what we should be for Him to work a miracle.

    Jesus Christ fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish. He blew everyone’s mind by showing us the magnitude of God’s love and power. Heavenly Father is willing to do so much in our situations. He wants to show Himself strong on our behalves, but many of us will not give Him the little bit we have so He can make it great. Instead, we make excuses. We allow our minds and hearts to remain on the lower plain of doubt and insecurity, and because of this, we cannot see the hand of God reaching down to lift us up. Change this! Spend time in prayer and ask Heavenly Father to reveal His Will for your life. Ask Him to lead and guide you, and don’t hold back anything from God. Be always willing to present the little you have to Him in faith, and always expect that He will multiply it and make it great!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Ten Years without Coming Close

    A friend told me she took her ex-boyfriend out for lunch. He’d been in town visiting family, and since both have moved on and still remain good friends, they decided to catch-up. During dinner, he told her that he realized shortly after their break-up he’d messed up a really good thing with her. He said he regretted never taking their relationship to the next level.  When I asked why she broke up with him, she commented, “When someone is not ready to mature and move forward in life, then you have to leave them where they are.” My friend also shared with me that this wasn’t an easy pill to swallow when they first broke-up. It happened over ten years ago, and until this day, she says he’s the only man she’s ever been close to marrying.

    Having the strength to let go and move on from a relationship that isn’t right for you takes courage and determination. I applaud my friend’s stand to do what she believed was in her best interest, but I have to admit to being taken aback hearing her say she hasn’t come close to marrying over the last ten years. My thoughts percolate with rapid speed when I hear things like this. Immediately, scriptures flash across my mind as I remind myself of God’s promises. Out of habit, I look to God’s Word to remedy and make whole any and all issues, because it contains everything we need to live a life that is pleasing to Heavenly Father and fulfilling to us as well.

    In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus Christ tells us to come to him with all our burdens, and he will give us rest. A burden over extends us. It causes us to expend more emotional, mental, and physical energy than we can healthily give, and therefore, leaves us depleted. Jesus Christ presents us with an exponentially better choice. We can choose well and hand over our burdens to him because he can handle the load. Unfortunately, many of us don’t do this. We make the choice to continue carrying the burden ourselves and allow it to break us. One would think this is an easy choice and that everyone would choose to let Jesus handle the load, but again, most do not.

    I believe my friend made a good choice. She released a person because it was blazingly apparent that he didn’t want to grow with her. She had the foresight to realize that continuing this relationship was burdening her life and depleting her energies. So, she let it go. She got this part right, but the other part of God’s directive, the part in Matthew 11:29 where Jesus Christ tells us to learn about him so that we will find rest for our souls—she missed this part.

    Heavenly Father created life in such a way that any time something is released, cut-out, or eradicated; the gap must be filled. We see this all throughout nature. We also see it in the lives of people that are hurting so deeply inside that they use harmful substances and toxic relationships to fill the void.

    When we give our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ, we must give up our old life. It was filled to the brim with sin and darkness. Jesus Christ comes into our hearts and brings the fullness of love, light, liberty, and life. He gives us joy everlasting, but most of us don’t give up everything about our old lives in one big swoop. It’s a gradual process for us. Our prayer and aim should be that as we realize we’re holding on to harmful remnants of darkness, we release them as we continue to walk with Christ throughout our lives. Many people never pray to come into knowledge about the darkness they harbor, and they fill the gaps with everything but the love of Jesus Christ.

    Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God’s masterpieces, and that He recreated our spirits in Christ Jesus so that we can do all the good things He planned for us long ago. God has a good plan for our lives, and the way to fulfill it is to learn about Jesus Christ. This is our destiny! Very often there is something specific that God wants to teach us about His love, and its the thing we need in our arsenal for future marital unity and harmony. If we don’t make learning about Jesus Christ a priority in our lives, we’ll deny ourselves the privilege of becoming like him and being the blessing God wants us to be. During the transition from ‘single’ to ‘married’, all of us will experience feelings of emptiness as we wait to meet our future spouses, but let’s fill the gap with the love of Jesus Christ. Then, we’ll draw the right person into our lives, and have the rich and satisfying existence that God planned for us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Ten Years without Coming Close” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Let’s Clean House

    Saturday’s are my ‘clean house day.’ It’s the only day during the week that allows me time to make sure most of the house is clean the way I like it. My mother had all girls. She was never fooled by the surface cleaning we used to do in a hurry when we were younger. It had to be cleaned through and through, which meant we couldn’t get away with making it look good on top. She inspected the details. We couldn’t just put away things in cabinets; the cabinets had to be cleaned and neat as well. What can I say? This stuck with me. Like everyone else, I’m busy all the time, so not everything gets the full attention I prefer, but at least I know most of the house has gotten the bleach-clean treatment I’m used to; and I feel good in my soul when it’s done.

    One particular Saturday afternoon, I decided to clean out my make-up kit and bathroom cabinet.  Before I knew it, my trash can was full of mascara, lipsticks, and hair products. I couldn’t believe how much stuff I had accumulated and had to throw away. I also quickly realized how much time, money, and effort I’d spent on trying to look my best. This is of course the way God’s children should approach their well-being, and I’m sure I’m not alone on this one. It demonstrates the dedication most of us put into our outward appearance. But what about the inner appearance? The inner part is what God values most!

    Honestly, I don’t regret making the purchases or the time and energy I spend to look my best, because this is one of the ways we take care of our temple and make sure it looks as good on the outside as it does on the inside. We demonstrate our gratitude for God’s gifts by taking care of them as best we can. You and I represent God’s Kingdom as ambassadors for Christ, but we must never underestimate the Words of God in 1 Samuel 16:7(NLT): “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    Our Heavenly Father doesn’t see us the same way as others, thank goodness! 1Samuel 16:7 is a reminder that the heart is more important than outward appearance to God. Society puts tremendous focus on how a person looks outwardly, on what kind of clothes they wear or how well their hair is groomed, but this isn’t Heavenly Father’s focus. He looks at the heart.

    God requires that we clean house when it comes to the feelings and desires of our hearts, because we’ve got things left in there from the past, when we didn’t know Christ as well as we know him now. God tells us in His Word to get rid of the old thought patterns, attitudes, and behaviors we had in the past. Those things cause us to sabotage our blessings, and this isn’t what Heavenly Father wants. Sometimes, we have to do more than surface clean. We need to inspect inside the cabinets, and throw away that stuff that isn’t useful to our journey forward and upward. We need to make room in our lives for new blessings and greater spiritual growth; this is what we need to put on like a second skin. Some of us are still holding on to things like pride, arrogance, bitterness, resentment, and anger. We need to be praying and asking the Lord to help us release that old dead stuff so that we are prepared for what He has in store.

    In Matthew 23, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, warned the Pharisees about being more concerned with their outward appearance than with the conditions of their own hearts. He said in Matthew 23:27(NKJV), “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” We don’t want to be guilty of carrying dead things in our hearts like them. And therefore, we must pray continually like the psalmist, David, prayed in Psalm 51:10,  that the Holy Spirit will create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. We must ask God to help us see anything that isn’t right, so we can clean house and be well pleasing to our Heavenly Father.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Let’s Clean House” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Keep Love in the Front Seat

    Monica Green handles pressure very well. Some would say it comes from single-parenting two children, one of them with autism and the other high-schooler struggles with anxiety sometimes. Monica handles it all while keeping a smile on her face. Her bosses and coworkers love her; they are like family. When her long time employer was on the bridge of bankruptcy, like everybody else, Monica went over and above to make sure the doors didn’t close right before Christmas. Well, the business did eventually close, and things were tight, but Monica had dealt with tough times before. Keeping the faith that God would work it out, CHECK! Remaining optimistic and steady during a move three hours away from her family and friends to accept a new job, CHECK! Cooking breakfast, making sure kid’s homework is done, preparing lunches, and dropping off the kids at school before 7am, CHECK!!! Forgiving the ex-husband for abandoning her when things got tough, ummm, get back to her on that one.

    For many women, especially divorced women that are now the head of their households, forgiveness doesn’t always come easy. Letting go of the hurt and pain caused by an ex-husband or a significant other can be a process. It takes patience, diligence, and a great desire to please God. Forgiveness is an area of our Christian walk that is more important than any of us can ever imagine. One indication of its importance is in the prayer template that Jesus Christ taught us and the disciples. In Matthew 6:12-13, he tells us to pray that God will forgive our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Forgiving others will open the door for God to forgive us. Jesus goes on to tell us in Matthew 6:14-15(NLT), “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

    This is very serious business! An unforgiving heart is fostered by our will and desire to hold on to bitterness and resentment. An unforgiving heart signals the heavens of our refusal to submit to the authority of Christ. It is a refusal to humble ourselves before God and allow His love access to the places in us that are severely broken. He wants to heal us. In order to let His healing complete it’s perfect work in our hearts, we must repent for the sin of resentment and bitterness. We must invite the Holy Spirit to help us release it. He’ll tear down the walls of fear we’ve built up around our hearts. Then we can be a living and holy sacrifice that is acceptable to God. If we refuse to do this, as harsh as the reality sounds, an unforgiving heart will doom us to hell. For Jesus said in Matthew 18:3 that unless we are converted and turn from our sins as humble children, we will by no means enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

    We are sometimes hurt so badly that we want the person to feel the wrath of what they’ve caused us. Ephesians 6:12 tells us very plainly that our real enemy is the devil, and he is the one who works against us, and will sometimes use our loved ones to do it. But we refuse to see it this way. We want vengeance, and that is a path that will always cause a person to spiral downward. God said in Romans 12:19 that vengeance belongs to Him. He set up the universe in a way that it handles all such matters perfectly. We are not to interfere with God’s perfect law; for it needs no interference from us.

    There’s nothing that we lose in broken relationships that God can’t give back to us. He reminds us of this in Joel 2:25, when He told His people that He would give back what they had lost. We must remember that the walls we put up to protect ourselves also block God’s love from entering in. Never ask God’s love to take a back seat. It will forever and always deserve to be in the front, steering our lives to infinite possibilities, blessings, and continued peace in the Lord Jesus Christ. We must remember that God doesn’t condemn us when bitterness is in our hearts, but it is our responsibility and privilege to ask the Holy Spirit to help us get rid of it. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Keep Love in the Front Seat”,written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Let God Give You the Vision

    Genesis 15:1-7(NLT)
    “1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 2 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. 3 You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.” 4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” 5 Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. 7 Then the Lord told him, “I am the Lord who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land as your possession.””

    Many Christians have heard this record regarding God’s promise to Abraham numerous times, but they may not have fully appreciated the hefty privilege we have as descendants of Abraham’s faith in God. Abraham is called the ‘Father of Our Believing’ because he was fully persuaded that God was not only able, but willing to fulfill that which He had promised. Many of us don’t have the kind of faith that Abraham had, but we should. We have nothing like his circumstances to contend with, and you and I have access to spiritual power that Abraham didn’t have; we have the gift of Holy Spirit dwelling within. Abraham demonstrated for us what it looks like to be sold-out on God’s Word. We are the Children of Promise, and anything less than an Abraham-kind-of-faith will cause us to miss out on all that God has in store for our lives.

    Abraham had a yearning in his heart, and many single women can understand what this feels like. He wanted a family, but his wife, Sarah, hadn’t been able to conceive. Abraham thought the story was over, given that he was way past the age of a man typically able to produce offspring. Imagine how he must have felt, to think that what he wanted most appeared to be an impossibility. Yet, we don’t read anywhere in God’s Word that Abraham had grown bitter or resentful. We don’t see him refusing to be obedient, but rather the opposite. He continued to be a man that honored God, despite the disappointment he might have felt. His humility and obedience to God’s Word ultimately gave faith the landing strip it needed.

    Many of us have been praying for marriage a long time. We’ve asked Heavenly Father to bless us with a good man, and because the answer to our prayer doesn’t appear to have materialized yet, we conclude our prayer hadn’t been effective. In Genesis 15:1, Heavenly Father said to Abraham, “I am your Shield.” God placed a hedge around Abraham to protect the promise. Abraham didn’t know what God had in store. He no doubt enjoyed the protection and care of God’s covering all his life, yet, he didn’t know the bounty of what was included in this protection. He didn’t know that God was also protecting the promise of his future. The same is true for you.

    I’m reminded of an occasion when my youngest daughter received a bag of snacks at school one day. Her class had a birthday party and the kids were given a bag of candy and chips to take home. Late that day, when she got home, she noticed the bag was lighter than it was when she left school. Immediately she became upset. After inspecting the bag, I noticed that it had a hole in it, and all of the candy had fallen out. This is indicative of many of our prayers and beliefs in the area of marriage. We stagger at the promises of God and refuse to align ourselves with His Will. Because of this hole in our faith, our petitions fall to the ground, and we miss the opportunities to enjoy the sweetness of what God has in store.

    We must remember that God delivered the promise first, and Abraham responded to God by having faith. This is the pattern God has set, and we must use it. Before Abraham responded to God, his mindset was “I’m old and comfortable. I will stay here in my father’s country and live out my days.” God had a different plan.

    You may need to ask yourself if you are too comfortable? Is God’s Will your plan, or are you asking God to make your plan fit into His Will? That won’t work. Abraham had to stretch himself to see beyond circumstances that might have toppled the believing of an average man living in his senior years. He had to expand his vision of what was possible, and God did this for him when He commanded Abraham to go outside and look at the stars. This gave Abraham the vision he needed to think and believe according to God’s Will. It is always spiritually prudent to ask God for this same vision so that we align ourselves with His agenda, instead of clinging to our own. This conveys our humility before Him.

    When we go to the Father, we can’t have low expectations. We can’t have the attitude of ‘maybe God will answer my prayer or maybe He won’t.’ You have to know beyond anything else that God wants to bless you. He wants you happy and fulfilled more than you want it for yourself, but there’s a pivotal and crucial piece of information you must always keep in the forefront of your mind. And it is the reality that only God makes promises that are guaranteed. He’s the one who sets the agenda for your life, and to see His promises come to pass, you must follow His Will.

    In your life, let’s face it, you’ve done things because you wanted to do them, and sometimes, you didn’t consult God. You’ve planned your future the way you wanted it to go, completing your vision boards and the whole nine yards. Proverbs 19:21 (NIV) tells us, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Don’t misunderstand, God wants you to have a vision, but His plan and purpose must be first in your life. Let God give you the vision. As you continue to humble yourself and yield to Him, you’ll receive the same success as Abraham and Sarah, and the promise of the Father will be fulfilled in your life. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Let God Give You the Vision”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Building Intimacy

    One of the chief purposes of relationships is to teach us about God’s love. Heavenly Father is a God of love. His Word tells us that He IS love, and because we are His children, we should take on His divine nature and make it our own. We should live love. Colossians 3:12-14(NLT) says, “12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” This passage paints a beautiful portrait of the kind of marriage God wants us to have.

    Heavenly Father desires intimacy in His relationship with us. He requires total surrender and commitment because total surrender and commitment from us is what He deserves. So that you and I have greater understanding of intimacy, in terms of what it takes to both obtain and maintain it, God has placed a desire for it within our hearts. This is one of the reasons that our desire for companionship is very strong. Not only is it very strong, but it is also very discerning. We want intimacy with a person that we deem to have qualities and attributes we admire and like most. When we meet someone like this, and the fondness is mutual, it’s possible we might discover that this person presented their best selves during the beginning of getting to know them; however, we didn’t see their undesirable or negative qualities until later in the relationship.

    All of us have negative qualities and attributes. God doesn’t disown us as His children because of them. Instead, He tells us to renew our minds and change our hearts. He tells us to clothe ourselves with His love, so that we learn to become compassionate and understanding regarding the shortcomings of others. This creates harmony and unity in our relationship with God. It has the same effect in our relationships with others. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. As we are patient with what we perceive as the shortcomings of those we love, closeness and intimacy grows.

    James 1:4(NKJV) tells us, “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Patience is part of God’s nature, and He desires to see it mirrored in us. It completes the work that He wants accomplished in our lives. It is a perfect work, and it makes us prepared for His purpose. It also helps us to develop true and real intimacy with Heavenly Father. He will not allow this intimacy to be rushed, but it must be built as we understand more about His magnificence, holiness, sovereignty, and love. We can’t rush intimacy with Him, and this should help us understand that we can’t rush intimacy in our other relationships either.

    Isaiah 40:31(NKJV) says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” If a single person learns no other spiritual lesson, they should certainly learn from their own personal experiences how important patience is to God. When it comes to the desire and quest to be married, God doesn’t allow us to speed Him up or slow Him down. He doesn’t withhold the blessing of marriage from anyone that desires it, but the virtue of patience must be firmly anchored in the Christian’s heart before the faith to usher in marriage to the right person is solidified.

    Learning to wait on the Lord renews our strength so that we can climb higher. This is a truth that applies to our relationship with God, and it also applies to our relationships with people. It takes time to get to know a person well enough to discern if they are a presentation from God. They may seem to be initially, but time may prove otherwise. However, if this person is in fact a presentation from Heavenly Father, they still may have qualities you dislike–I mean really dislike. Spiritual maturity requires us to work through those negative qualities by putting on the love of Christ, but we can’t do this if we’ve allowed our need for intimacy to drive the relationship. Trying to have intimacy without allowing it to develop through patience and purity will ultimately lead to unmet expectations. This will give the enemy an opportunity to attack the harmony we’re endeavoring to build.

    Intimacy is a closeness that is forged through devotion, commitment, understanding, communion and communication. God desires intimacy in His relationship with us, but He doesn’t force us to respond to His love. He patiently waits on us to grow in our understanding of His nature and will. In this way, intimacy becomes a reward of patience. We must remember this when it comes to the significant relationship in our lives as well. It is an extremely important spiritual lesson, and if we learn it well, we’ll be prepared for a fulfilling marriage that is bonded together in perfect harmony with God’s love.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Building Intimacy” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is A No-No!

    This Is A No-No!

    Some people are of the mindset that if you truly love each other in a marriage, then you won’t walk out of it so easily; if you give up on the marriage, then it wasn’t real love in the first place. This is a harsh judgment, but it is reasonable in one respect; because it conveys an understanding that real love is God’s love. His love is unbreakable, unconditional, and limitless. God is capable of a love this strong, but many of us haven’t put on His Word in our hearts and minds enough to walk in His love fully. We struggle with resentment that comes from hurt feelings when we are offended by others or undervalued by them. Our relationships break apart when the unions can’t hold up under the constant pressure of unfulfilled expectations and misplaced faith.

    We can never be blasé about the covenant of marriage or about the possibility it holds for us personally. Marriage is God’s institution. It is a union ordained by Him, and Jesus Christ must be at the center of it. Because of this, we should also be well aware that the enemy will seek to come against our unions, and it will require our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to persevere.

    2Corinthians 4:7(NLT) tells us, “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” This verse gives us the context for understanding what’s at stake and what we’re working with. It tells us that we’re like fragile clay jars. We have baggage of our own, and we have baggage that we’ve inherited from others close to us. A lot of us bring this into our relationships. One of the best things we can do is recognize we have a few issues. Then, to the extent that we can, we should be honest with ourselves and our partners about this baggage. We should ask for the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and we should also lovingly ask for our partner’s forgiveness and patience as we work through it.

    God also makes it very clear in this verse that our clay jars, although fragile, contain a great treasure. It’s the great power of the Holy Spirit. We are born into this world with an assignment, and only the Spirit of Christ can lead us through it. Marriage is one of the institutions that helps us continually learn and do what we were born to learn and do. It helps us to carry forth our purpose. Many of us give up on marriage before these lessons are presented or learned. We must remember that we are becoming the person God destined us to be. We’re not quite there yet. So, on our own, we don’t have the strength, power, and love to make it through a marriage. We must depend on the treasure of the Holy Spirit to help and lead us through the complications we may face. His power is more than enough to strengthen our unions, if we will only lean on it with all that is within us.

    2Corinithians 4:8-9(NLT) says, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” Heavenly Father didn’t keep the struggles of life a secret. Sometimes it feels like four walls are closing in on us. There’s trouble everywhere we turn, but we will not be crushed if we turn to Him in faith. I’ve heard it said that you don’t really have real love if you’re not willing to be vulnerable enough to allow another person to hurt you. The love of God in Christ is the only love strong enough to eradicate fear and hold up under the pressure of hurt feelings and wounded hearts. When Jesus Christ is the center of our existence, we can endure the hardships of relationships because he is allowed to work through us and our partners through the Holy Spirit. This repairs the damage, restores us, and keeps us in God’s Will.

    It’s a no-no to begin a marriage or relationship by trying to make the other person your everything. They can’t meet those expectations, and neither can we. Our desire should always be to let our partners see the love of Christ at work in our lives, and to pray that God will work in our partner’s life as well. Through the Spirit, together, a couple can be strengthened continually as they both center themselves in Christ. They must recognize that God’s purpose is at work in their lives and pleasing Him is what matters most.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is A No-No!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!