Find A Christian Man

Tag: Relationship Advice for Believers

  • What’s the Wait All About?

    What’s the Wait All About?


    1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. 2 Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. 3 They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. 4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world.

    Psalm 19:1-4(NLT)

    Most of us know that we can’t get anywhere in life without the blessing of our Heavenly Father. He makes everything possible for us. Therefore, we know that when we have a need, we have to take it to the Lord in prayer. Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Most of us understand this verse with crystal clarity, but it’s the waiting that causes us to question if marriage is going to happen for us. Single women, I know you hear me on this one. I’ve spoken to many single women of faith about the subject of waiting for the Lord to bless them to meet their husbands. We all agree that waiting on an answer to our prayers is often the most challenging part.

    Society has taught us many things, and one of them is impatience. We think we can have what we want by speeding up the process so we can get it quicker. This is an approach that doesn’t work for those that are in Christ. Galatians 5:22 tells us that patience is a fruit of the Spirit. It’s a state of being, which makes it more than a feeling or attitude. It’s manifested inwardly by the Spirit and manifested outwardly through our actions and behaviors. The Spirit’s fruit is the nature of God’s children. It’s part of who we are, and it must be worked out in our hearts and minds to the point where our faith makes patience feel right at home.

    Philippians tells us not to be anxious about what we are praying to receive. Anxiety about it means that fear is lurking about somewhere, and it’s causing our faith to take a backseat. So, we have to order our prayer lives in such a way that growing in patience and faith becomes our priority. The blessing of a husband is such a sweet reward, but it’s not the greatest prize. Growing our faith in God and tightening our relationship with Him is the real treasure. We have to know the difference between these two and prioritize them appropriately in our minds and hearts.

    The Book of Genesis tells us that after Adam and Eve sinned against God by disobeying His Word, they hid themselves in shame. In Genesis 3:12(NLT), we learn a great deal about the shame of sin, and how most human beings handle this. Rather than accepting responsibility for the wrong he did and seeking God’s forgiveness with earnest sorrow, Adam said, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” The first man deflected and played the blame game. This demonstrates the human tendency to deflect, dodge, and hide from what we’ve done wrong as well.

    Increasingly our environment is one in which we run from blame and run from the truth. We do it so much in fact that our society is losing its grasp on discernment. It’s grown so used to a lie that it no longer recognizes the truth. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, the way that we reject the actions of Adam and Eve and reject society’s poor judgment and refusal to love the truth is to do the opposite of what they have done. We must be lovers of God’s truth. The degree to which we love God’s truth will be on full view by our accountability for not obeying it. We have to come clean about not meeting God’s requirements during some of the situations we’ve gone through in life.

    We can’t sweep that stuff under the rug as if the sin never occurred. We must repent, and when we do, God forgives us, but true repentance requires a change of heart and a change of mind. We shouldn’t continue with the same sins over and over again. How we honor God with reverence and obedience determines our ability to steward and handle His blessings. He is always watching and observing us. He’s not doing this to punish us. 2Chronicles 16:9 tells us that He’s looking for an opening to come in so He can bless us with our desires. We should be praying and seeking His guidance on how to do this, how to invite His blessing and fully put on His armor so we can grow stronger spiritually.

    It would not be wise to ignore the reality that there is always a reason behind the wait, and that it usually has to do with our readiness to make room for the blessing. All of us think we’re ready, but if the man stepped in right this moment, many of us would place our commitment to God on the backburner and go all in with the relationship. Our commitments would change. Our priorities would change, and we have not even thought about how to navigate issues of intimacy in a way that pleases God. We’d be so thrilled to finally have an opportunity for love that we’d give over our hearts completely, when truly they are not ours to give.

    Our hearts belong to God, but whether we are giving them to Him totally and completely is another story. For many years, we’ve underestimated the commitment and intimacy that God desires from us. We’re easily manipulated to shortchange Him and ourselves, and this cannot be. God is a Father! What does a father do? He looks after His kids. Whether we trust it or not, this is what the wait is all about. God is grooming us, helping us to cultivate the obedience, humility, and love for Him that a child of light must have. He’s helping us to develop spiritual strength so that when storm winds blow in our future marriages, we will not buckle from the pressure. We’ll stand strong and prove that following God’s Will and Word is the firm foundation that holds up our lives and preserves the unity of our marriages as well.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What’s the Wait All About?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Harmony of the Heart

    Harmony of the Heart

    A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me that when a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow. Her statement places an incredible amount of responsibility on the man, but still, I remember asking myself how in the world did she come to this realization. She was speaking from personal experience, and as I continued to reflect on her statement, I wondered what circumstances she experienced to ultimately have this kind of love and peace in her relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few ups and downs in my own significant relationships that I realized how true her statement is.

    Truly loving
    Most women of God that have been praying to cross paths with their future husbands have heard Ephesians 5:25(NLT) and have placed on their checklist of expectations. In this verse, God commands, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This is God’s standard regarding the caliber of love a man should have for his wife. Fast forwarding into our modern times, we see something very different from what God expects playing out.

    It isn’t uncommon in today’s environment to see a woman putting all her heart into her significant relationship, but the man’s commitment and support doesn’t equal hers. She makes excuses for him, and she keeps telling herself and hoping that he’ll one day come around, but in many cases this doesn’t happen. It could be that he doesn’t understand God’s requirement. A person cannot rise above what they don’t know, so maybe this man has never had an up-close and personal visual of a truly loving relationship between a man and a woman, and he hasn’t yet learned to give of himself. It could be that he doesn’t have a big enough reservoir within himself to accommodate the love he should have for the significant woman in his life.

    The bottom line is that when it comes to good love, the kind that God expects that men will extend to His daughters, the man must have a will to love the woman. This is what I believe my friend was conveying. Truly loving a person requires more than affection, it requires a depth that is reached when their destinies meet.

    When God is in it

    The psalmist said in Psalm 73:24(NLT), “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.” Only God can set our destinies, and all our destinies are in Christ. Ephesians 1:3-6(NIV) tells us this. It states, “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

    Destiny means that God is in it, and only He can lead us to it. Ephesians 1:3 tells us to celebrate God. He has lavished us with every spiritual blessing because of our union with Christ. He chose us! He made up His mind about who we should be and destined us to perfectly embody the blueprint of Christ. Our very lives are meant to be a celebration of God’s brilliance, walking hand in hand with Him every step of the way. His love for His Son is the same love He has for us, and His vision for us unfolds as we surrender everything to Him by faith.

    We shouldn’t allow anything or anyone to deter us from the vision God holds for us, but often we do, and this is the place where peace and tranquility are interrupted. It’s the place where we are often tricked into thinking that we have something of substance, when in truth, we are accepting something far less than our privilege.

    Sometimes we meet men that aren’t quite there in the love department. They haven’t yet learned to give quality love, because they haven’t received it, or they haven’t allowed God’s love into their hearts. If destiny isn’t involved, and we invest our time and energy into a relationship with this person, it can be disastrous. However, when God is in it, God can work through us. As women who celebrate Him and His love, we should be committed to walk in Christ. Our obedience to God reveals when and if we are destined to be the missing piece in the man’s life. If God says so and this is our destiny, we must be ever so careful to love and give like Christ, and to be the best ambassador for our Lord and Savior that we can be.

    Being true to our destiny in Christ will create a synchronicity and balance to our relationships. Loving God with all that we are yields peace in our relationships, without loving Him in the way He requires, we are lost and have no hope. To strive for a healthy relationship that leads to a healthy marriage is to be in harmony with God’s plan from start to finish. When this is our posture, the right man can’t help but to bring peace, and it will be a perfect and destined match for the peace of God that is already in our hearts. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “A Heart of Harmony”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Binding Your Relationship with God’s Love

    Binding Your Relationship with God’s Love

    “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

    Colossians 3:14(NLT)

    There are quite a few single Christian women that are praying fervently to cross paths with their future husbands. They become so used to the posture of praying to receive that when they finally do cross paths with a man they believe is Mr. Right, some of God’s daughters are overwhelmed. They just about lose their minds because they’ve waited a long time. The loneliness and wondering when things were going to turn around was challenging, and they don’t want to ever go back to those days. Sometimes, this causes them to place too much focus on the man and not enough focus on growing stronger in Christ. They’ll do just about anything to secure the new relationship. God’s grace is sufficient to us when this happens. He gives us time to adjust, but many singles take advantage of God’s grace and His patience.

    When a man makes himself comfortable in our lives, he makes space for us in his heart. That’s such a wonderful thing, and God delights in our happiness. This is exactly what we prayed to happen, and we’re thrilled. There are so many emotions coming to the surface that it can surprise us how much we neglect or put other things on hold for this significant person. I know you know what I’m talking about. We must be careful to remember how easy it is to be lured away from our commitment to God with this. It should be no surprise that this is why God wants us spiritually strong before we partner, so that we will not succumb to the temptation of putting anything or anyone ahead of our relationship with God.

    Hebrews 13:5(ESV) states, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”” This lesson isn’t just about money. It’s about demonstrating our gratitude for all that God is and all that He has done for us. It’s about prioritizing what’s important to God, because what’s important to Him should be important to us. People come and go. God is the One that will never leave or forsake us. He’s our everything and the Source of all blessings. We say we know and understand this, but our actions often say something very different. We don’t behave in every situation as though we realize that God must be number one in our hearts.

    Understand fully that God can never, ever accept the position of number two. It’s far beneath what He deserves. Our responsibility to the faith should never be hot one minute and cold the next. The love of Christ is what opens the door in our lives for Mr. Right, but things can go south very quickly if we abandon our stand and jeopardize our relationship with God. We always need to behave as though we are aware of this temptation and are continuously praying to outpace it.

    Many relationships with successful starts have ended in heartbreak because we underestimated the prayer, obedience, and loyalty that God requires. Our love for Him is the glue that holds all other relationships together. He tells us in Ephesians 4:3(NLT), “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” It is our responsibility, yours and mine, to keep ourselves spiritually strong through God’s Word so that we treasure our oneness with the Spirit. Our union with the indwelling Holy Spirit binds us with others that love God, and it will strengthen every relationship we have if we are faithful to Him.

    The brand of love that you and I produce on our own doesn’t have stickability. We have all these conditions and limitations to our love. If he doesn’t look a certain way, have money, or have a good job, we might not even give him the time of day. We see this a lot in men as well, especially those that haven’t yet learned to honor and appreciate a woman’s stand on God’s Word. Some of them make demands and will withdraw their affection and attention if those demands are not met. This isn’t God’s love; His love would never operate that way.

    We must understand that we are never at a disadvantage for staying faithful to God and obeying His Word. God will always back the blessings He gives us, and we should never worry or think for one second that He will not. We need God’s love and Word to keep us moving in the direction of marriage. Keep yourself committed to God. Stay in His Word continually and always keep God first in your life.■

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Binding Your Relationship with God’s Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Something Has to Change

    Something Has to Change

    2Peter 3:9(ESV) assures us, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” God has promised us a rich inheritance in the Lord Jesus Christ, and it will be more than we could ever have imagined. When we compare what is to come with our everyday reality, our present circumstances don’t come close. Most of us are aware of this, and we want God to hurry up, quick fast and in a hurry, so that we can bask in the wonder of all He has in store.

    This verse in 2Peter 3:9 tells us that God isn’t slow to bring His promises to past. We are witnessing His incredible patience with us. He is waiting for every person whose name is written in His Book of Life to come to Him and repent. His patience is purposeful to His plan, and this is a paradigm for every aspect of His Will.

    When it comes to being single, many of us can relate to thinking that things are moving too slow. We can tolerate one or two years, but waiting for Mr. Right much longer than this seems a bit much. The loneliness can turn into one long stretch of feeling sad and disappointed, and anyone that has experienced this knows how taxing it can be. Although feeling lonely and sad can weigh us down, these feelings also reveal that we are acutely aware of the differences between happiness and sadness. We know when happiness isn’t in our neighborhood, and that’s not a place we want to live. So, the experience of sadness and loneliness can teach us how much we value happiness and how much we believe it is tied to having a significant relationship.

    This is important information because it gives us a very clear yardstick of measuring where we are and where we want to be. The vision of where we want to be is the dynamic we must learn to work with and transform. 2Peter 3:9 points out very decisively the difference between where we are right now, living in this world, and it points out where we will be when we return to our heavenly home. None of us have seen heaven with our physical eyes, but we know that earth cannot compare to heaven. However, God tells us about what is to come in His Word so that the vision of the glory that awaits us will remain fresh in our minds and hearts. He doesn’t want us to ever lose sight of the reality that this earth is a temporary dwelling, and that which is to come is more extraordinary than we can imagine. This is our hope, and maintaining hope is crucial to being happy.

    Our desire for marriage is sort of a small trial run for our hearts and minds. It’s something many of us truly want, but it hasn’t yet manifested in our lives. Just as there’s a distance between where we are and the reality of God’s promise of our inheritance in Christ, there is a distance between our current single status and the promise of marriage. When it comes to His promise in 2Peter 3:9, God is patiently waiting for the repentance of those that haven’t yet come to Him. What’s this wait about? He’s waiting for the person to change, for them to recognize that they need Him desperately and they need to surrender their lives to Him. He is relentlessly patient to wait for all His children to repent, and He will never break His promise to wait for this.

    As we hold on to the vision of getting married to the person God will send, we must come to terms with this distance between being single and being married. In order to bridge that distance, something has to change. This is a truth many have failed to acknowledge. Change begins internally and then, as we are transformed, our external reality will begin to mirror the greater love of Christ that we have anchored in our hearts and minds.

    It cannot be lost on us that our refusal to put on more of Christ, and our allegiance to remain where we are in our minds and hearts will translate to remaining the same in our circumstances. Sadness and loneliness don’t speak the truth about the vision of marriage God has given us. They don’t help us put on more of God’s love and faith in our hearts, and they do not represent a true picture of the faith we should have regarding the vision of marriage we should hold for ourselves.

    Are you seeing yourself as a woman that is sold-out in your faith in God? Is your heart overflowing with joy because God has made such wonderful promises in His Word to His children? Do you believe that God is the Giver of good and perfect gifts, and He delights in your joy and happiness? Can you see yourself as the most loving, compassionate, selfless and giving wife you can be? The answers to these questions reveal that something inside must change to hold the vision of marriage that God desires for you. Show Him that you are committed to it. Get in His Word and pray that as you renew your mind and learn more about Christ, He will transform your vision of marriage into the reality He has for you. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Something Has to Change”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Are You Giving God Enough to Work With

    Are You Giving God Enough to Work With

    Luke 6:37-38(NLT)
    “37 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

    Giving, being unselfish, and pouring into the lives of others is more than a wonderful gesture. The practice of giving is a commandment from God. Giving is His nature, and as His children, it must be our nature as well. It begins in the heart, and once it is expressed outwardly through our actions, the act of giving becomes a powerful instrument of change, transforming the hearts and lives of others as well as our own. Jesus Christ makes it plain in Luke 6:37-38 that the practice of giving is a law, and it is immutable. This means it can’t be manipulated or changed by anyone. Giving initiates a process where the outcome is predictable. If we give, we will receive, and what we receive will be in proportion to what we have given. This is a profound lesson of love.

    In the Old Testament, our Heavenly Father was adamant to instruct His people to follow His statutes, commandments, and instructions. Doing so was the only way He could bless them. In Leviticus 18:4(NLT), He told them, “You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the LORD your God.” In Deuteronomy 5:32(NLT), through Moses, He instructed, “You must be careful to obey all the commands of the LORD your God, following his instructions in every detail.” And in Joshua 1:7(NLT), He told Joshua, Moses’s successor, “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do.”

    God is a Righteous Judge. He does not bless any and every action or effort that an individual undertakes. God blesses His Word, because His Word is alive, righteous, and true. His Word achieves His plan and purpose. He said in Isaiah 55:11(NLT), “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”

    Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder. This is what He does. He rewards! He compensates! And He is more masterful at it than any of us can imagine, but He does not reward disobedience. He rewards those who obey and have faith in what He says. It’s amazing because He doesn’t make this complicated, yet we have somehow made it far more complex than He intended. His ways are not burdensome, they bring life to us and everything we set our hands to do. 1John 5:3-4(NLT) declares, “3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

    In Luke 6:37-38, our Lord and Savior frames the heart God expects us to have in order to live our best blessed life. It’s two-pronged. First, he addresses the issue of forgiving others. This is essential to living a Christ-like life. It’s speaks to the condition of an individual’s heart. If we are committed to forgive in the way God has commanded, our hearts are humble and pliable. And this humility and flexibility are required to please Him and fulfill His requirement that we have a heart like Christ. Forgiveness is a gift we offer others that have hurt us in some way. We forgive them because God has forgiven us. We freely offer what has been freely offered to us. This demonstrates that God’s Word and love are first in our lives.

    The second prong teaches us about the law of God regarding our giving-actions. It teaches us how we can align our existences with His blessings by being obedient to this law. Through freely giving, we set a boomerang in motion. It has the potential to anchor us in God’s blessed and continuous cycle of giving and receiving. The thing that we must also come into consciousness about is that just the opposite takes place when we fail to heed God’s instructions about giving. Rather than setting ourselves up for blessings, when we don’t give, we are moving in the opposite direction of them. Through selfishness and the refusal to give according to God’s instructions, we set a negative cycle in motion. This is a condition that causes situations and circumstances to always work against our greater good.

    The refusal to give will always produce fruit that are equal to that refusal. A lack of forgiveness and generosity will yield the negative situations and circumstances that support it, and these will continue to keep a person cut off from the blessings they desire most.

    Many women are praying to receive God’s best but have not postured themselves to give God their best. The law of giving and receiving is one of God’s ways of positioning His kids for greatness and a fulfilling life. We must open our eyes to how our attitude towards forgiveness and giving are tied to whether we are accepting or rejecting what God has in store.

    He tells us in Malachi 3:10(NLT), “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!” Here in the Old Testament, God is teaching us about tithing into His Kingdom as a way of blessing us through His law of giving and receiving. He’s showing us the immutability and endurance of His laws, and if there is any doubt in our minds about them, He challenges us to test them out, and find out for ourselves that His Word and Ways are true.

    Cutting to the chase, many of us aren’t giving God enough to work with. We’re refusing to rally our faith to give and sow in the way that God instructs. When it comes to being generous and sowing into His Kingdom, some of us still think that if we give our little bit to Him that He will allow greater lack to exist in our circumstances. We refuse to believe in His supernatural provision. When it comes to forgiving those that have hurt us, we allow fear and resentment to close our hearts, because we refuse to believe that God will keep us safe. All of this is a lack of faith, and it goes against the strategy that God has given us for an abundant life. We must believe that God will reward our giving, and this must be backed up by making forgiveness and giving the motivation of our hearts.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Are You Giving God Enough to Work With?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Rules of Dating

    The Rules of Dating

    The rules of dating in a way that leads to marriage are not exactly outlined in the Bible in a step-by-step format. In fact, some have complained that not much about dating is specifically covered in God’s Word. This is because God never intended that dating should be the ‘thing’ that the world has made it out to be. With all our modern conveniences and intellectual advancements, it should be no surprise to any of us that most people view the standards of God’s Word relating to marriage and dating as antiquated. Personally, I’ve been told many times that I’m ridiculous for espousing abstinence, even though this is what God says in His Word. We’re at a place where denying God’s Word is so rampant that many are blinded to His guidance about dating. Their hearts are set on following their own way instead of following His way, and this tactic will not yield success.

    In Old Testament times, the people of Israel asked Samuel, God’s prophet, to petition God on their behalf. They no longer wanted to be under the Lord’s sovereignty. There is no one like God. He is majestic beyond majesty, brilliant beyond brilliance, and perfect beyond perfection. He is King! He chose the Israelites to be His people, and He desired them to honor His absolute sovereignty so they could remain under the covering of His protection and care. They decided they no longer wanted this but instead wanted a human king like all the other nations. They didn’t want to be set apart for God but wanted to be like everyone else. This is a humongous issue in the lives of believers today. Many of us no longer want to be set apart as God’s holy people. We want to follow the world and live outside God’s statutes and standards.

    It’s hard to imagine why anyone who witnessed the kind of miracles and wonders that God performed for the people of Israel would want to remove themselves from His sovereignty, but this is what they wanted and chose to do. They paid a very heavy price for this decision, and so will we if we choose to ignore God’s Will.

    God granted their petition, even though it was a blatant denial of Him and His sovereignty. He appointed Saul as their first king, but Saul messed everything up. He became arrogant with his rank and position as king, and disobeyed God’s directions and instructions. God then sent Samuel on a mission to anoint the next king. Left to his own devices, Samuel would have appointed someone that looked the part but didn’t have the heart God was looking for. When he tried to do this, God told Samuel in 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

    God looks at the heart, and He knows our hearts through and through. He knows when our hearts are valuing His Word, and He knows when our hearts are motivated out of a predominant desire to please Him. This is a person that can be guided by God’s Spirit. They have a heart that is loyal toward Him. He said in 2Chronicles 16:9 that He searches throughout the entire earth, looking for those that are fully committed and loyal to Him, so He can show Himself strong on their behalf.

    The rules of dating are simple; be obedient to God’s Word. He specifically looks for people who love and honor Him with their whole hearts, particularly when it comes to dating, because too many of us are abandoning God’s standards. When He finds people that have placed their faith in Him alone, He opens their eyes to His strength, and they see His wonders in their lives. He longs to do this for all His kids, because He loves us so much, but we must desire to please God wholeheartedly. The goal is not to please ourselves, but to please Him, and pleasing Him positions us to receive His rewards.

    In the Old Testament, God told His people repeatedly that if they would obey His commands and abide by His statutes, He would bless them and caused them to be prosperous and live long lives. In Leviticus 26:13(NLT), God told them, “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high.” They were a stubborn people, and like many of us, they were intent to follow their own way, and that way led them to destruction. In Leviticus 26:13, our Heavenly Father had to remind them of who He is, and again, there are many records in the Old Testament where He had to do this time and time again.

    God had to remind them that He doesn’t change. He’s the God that delivered the Israelites from the tyranny of Egyptian slavery. He parted the Red Sea for their escape, fed them manna from Heaven, and in the desert, He made water burst forth from rocks for them to drink. He’s the same God that sent His Son to die as a sacrifice for our sins over two thousand years ago so that we would be saved from the slavery of sin and death. No, God has not changed, and His Word hasn’t changed. His standards are holy and righteous, and to show our hearts loyal to Him, we must obey them.

    The world is increasingly becoming a place where true disciples and followers of Christ stand out more and more, because so few of us are actually adhering to God’s standard. Our Heavenly Father has set us apart as His children of light. Dating can’t be a carve-out where His standards do not apply. His goal and desire are that we are blessed, happy, fulfilled, and married if we desire it. He’s given us His Word because it is life to us. It equips us for a thriving life in Christ, and by this we can know that He blesses His Word. Anyone that follows it will be rewarded. Companionship is one of those rewards, but we must never get ahead of God and let sin take us out of the race. He will send the right person for our lives, and until He does, we’d be wise not to allow dating to cancel or delay the blessing of a marriage that is founded on the unity and love of Christ.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Rules of Dating”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Marriage Is A Gift from God

    Marriage Is A Gift from God

    “Could it be that the reason you’re so frustrated with life is because things didn’t work out with your man?” A mutual friend asked Adrienne this question because she seemed to be having a tough week. She didn’t want to be around anyone, and this was unusual for a person as outgoing as Adrienne. We all suspected that she was going through something with the significant person in her life; it had been an on-again-off-again relationship for almost a decade. It was no secret that Adrienne wanted to marry this man, and she thought Stephon was changing his mind about marriage, but he never made any promises. She was in such a tailspin because he finally told her that he was nowhere near ready to be married. He didn’t want to hurt her, but ended their conversation with, “I just really don’t consider myself the marrying type.”

    Why do men do things like this? Why do they remain in a relationship for that long, knowing full well that the woman has marriage on her mind? To be honest, the answer to these questions isn’t difficult, and deep down, most women know it. The reason why a man will remain in a 10-year on-again-off-again relationship and never commit to marriage is because he knows he can. This isn’t a righteous move on his part, but it’s not just him. This is an issue that involves both the man and the woman.

    In Luke 9:62(NLT), our Master Jesus taught about the importance of commitment and the danger of procrastination. He said, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”  A plow is a farming tool. Jesus Christ often used farming in his teachings because farming was a huge part of the lifestyle of those living during that time. They didn’t have the convenience of grocery stores back then, so they were dependent on farming for their own source of food. They had to maintain livestock that could be used for meat, and they had to grow their own vegetables, as well as grains for bread. In order to keep the land fertile for planting, a plow was used to manually turned over the soil each planting season, and this was not easy labor.

    It’s not difficult to understand why farming was key to survival. It was nothing to play around with. A farmer was expected to understand the requirements and get to it. He had to know that plowing is laborious and necessary work that is required to produce the beneficial and expected results. He also had to understand that a failure to produce a harvest might mean catastrophe for his family. This is the backdrop for Luke 9:62, and Jesus Christ zeroes in on the importance of what’s at stake.

    A qualified farmer is someone who provides and produces for others. He would never put his hand to a plow and then procrastinate and look away with hesitation. If he does this, Jesus says he’s not fit for the Kingdom of God. He’s not fit because he’s vacillating, and this equates to instability. James 1:8(KJV) states, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

    Is this what we think we deserve, someone that procrastinates or looks away in hesitation because they’re not sure about us. Both men and women have done this when it comes to the things of God. We’re not stepping up to the plate in faith, but we’re wavering, wondering if God is who He says He is and if He’ll do what He says He will do in His Word. We have our hands on the plow, but we’re not prepared to move it forth with the obedience and diligence God requires. If we’re not going to do it for God, our Creator and Source of all that is good, we are certainly not going to do it for another human being.

    Women need to understand this very basic piece of wisdom. They are expecting a man to commit to them wholeheartedly when they have not committed wholeheartedly to God. We can change this, and we should. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” This verse tells us that God desires to bless His people, and His people have the distinct pleasure and responsibility to present the landscape for His blessings to land.

    1Samuel 16:7 affirms that God doesn’t see things the way that we do. He doesn’t judge by outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He warns us in Proverbs 4:23(NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” He’s telling us to guard against apathy, doubt, or anything else that comes against Him and His Word, because those things will shape a future that we will not like. Whatever is in our hearts will produce an outcome. It will either give God something to work with or not. And sometimes, we are crying out for the man to love us, when our hearts have not made enough space for God.

    Galatians 6:7(NLT) warns, “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” It is very clear that if we’re not putting the love of God out there in the way that God has ordained, we’re not going to get the return we expect. Many men will not be righteous in their dealings. They come into relationships and stay in them when they are fully aware of their intentions to remain unmarried, but women have a responsibility to God and to themselves to see this for what it is. We cannot expect a man to change his opinion about our worthiness to be his wife when he doesn’t even want one.

    In 1Corinthians 7:7(MSG), the Apostle Paul said, “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” Paul understood that our whole purpose for being in the earth is to have a relationship with God and to grow more like Christ with each passing day. Most of us struggle with the truth that this is our purpose and choose to do our own thing rather than to follow after our King. Paul resisted this trap. He understood that our purpose is just that simple and that many people, especially women, have looked to marriage to fill their cups instead of God.

    This is why Paul said that being single is a simpler life. It allows an individual to be singular in focus when it comes to the things of God. For others, marriage is the way to go. God gives these individuals the gift of marriage because they understand that marriage is designed to deepen our relationship with God, not detract from it. At least one of the individuals in any couple must comprehend this truth. When that’s the case, they will always put God first, and He will reward them according to the love of Christ that is in their hearts. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Marriage Is A Gift from God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I’m Open While Under Construction

    I’m Open While Under Construction

    How many of us go into relationships with our eyes wide open? Most single Christians would probably say they do, but even those of us that love God and desire His Will for our lives will misjudge our preparedness. We end up realizing our eyes were not as opened as we had thought. We expect a man to love us in a certain way, and we hope that he will be as generous and thoughtful as we believe ourselves to be. It’s disappointing to discover that this isn’t the case. It hurts when the man isn’t interested in making us a priority in his life. Most of us will chalk it up to the notion that the guy simply isn’t the right fit, and this is probably a correct assessment, but even so, it’s not the only assessment we should make.

    Jesus Christ gave us a razor-sharp piece of wisdom in Luke 14:28(NLT), and it is unbelievably relevant to relationships and spiritual preparation for marriage. He said, “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?” Many single people make a huge error in being lackadaisical about this verse. Relationships can fall apart before they get out of the gate because we don’t take the time to understand this amazing revelation.

    Before we even begin to think about partnering, we should count the cost. Our eyes are often closed to the sacrifices, endurance, faith, dedication, patience, and commitment that a strong and quality significant relationship will require. It will exhaust us mentally and emotionally because it will require us to relinquish our hold on attitudes and behaviors that keep us stuck in selfishness, fear, and controlling habit patterns. We don’t want to give up these things, and our current way of thinking is that God is okay with us holding on to them. He’s not. Partnering will not come together for us until our hearts are loyal to God in a way that yields to Him totally. Many of us are not quite there.

    Jesus Christ has set Luke 14:28 as a principle for life. It’s for everyone and every endeavor. Relationships require us to deny the “ME” and to be all about the benefit of the “WE”. Not many are willing to count the cost in this way. Our devotion to God sets the bar for all other relationships. Our commitment to Him signals the entire universe of our spiritual preparation to receive. Many of us try to fake it, but the truth is that if this kind of sold-out-ness to God isn’t in our hearts, we’ve not proven that we’re ready to receive what He has in store.

    When it’s not in our hearts, God knows it, and any potential mate can sniff it out. Sometimes, the stench of our habit of trying to give God crumbs is what they smell, and it’s why they repel against us. It’s why some men are not inclined to offer us their devotion. Our mouths say we’re ready for it, but our hearts are singing a different tune. And Proverbs 4:23(NLT) affirms that the heart is what “determines the course of your life.”

    Jesus Christ proclaimed in Mark 8:34-37(NLT), “34 If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 36 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” If we haven’t done this for Jesus, how can we pretend to know anything about the sacrifices required of us for marriage?

    Marriage teaches and prepares us as the Bride of Christ. That’s what marriage is all about. We don’t have to be perfect, but we at least have to be on the trajectory to being committed to yield and surrender completely and utterly to Jesus Christ. We have to understand that this is required. If our actions do not signal an understanding of this, we’re out of pocket. We’re not where we need to be spiritually.

    For instance, we think we know what we want and need in a partner. Nine times out of ten, we don’t have a clue. We have all these criteria we expect our partners to meet. He can’t be too fat, too skinny, too dark, or too light. He can’t have double chins or wear thick glasses. He can’t have kids or take the bus. He can’t make less money than me or he can’t be too needy. He must have a college degree. He must have his own place, and he must have his own car. The list goes on and on of all our must haves. We set the stage with these, and we then expect God and the man to comply.

    The common mantra is “I’m God’s best and I deserve the best.” While that may be true, we’re not the ones that determine what qualifies as ‘the best’, God does this. 1Samuel 16:7(NLT) tells us, “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Our discernment and discrimination about what we want in a partner is secondary to God’s plan for our lives. No matter what we feel we deserve, it must never overshadow the reality that God knows what we need. He’s the Leader, we’re the followers. He knows how to bless us, and He knows the best fit for our lives. He requires our total surrender to His perfection and Will in every area of our lives.

    You might think, “Well, after I’ve totally surrendered this area of my life to the Lord, what happens when I meet someone that likes me? How will I know he’s the one the Lord sent? How will I know he isn’t a trick from satan?” When the Lord makes a presentation, there’s no way not to know it. One of the ways Heavenly Father solidifies that we’ve met the man He has sent is that this man will demonstrate an extraordinary kindness, and this kindness will reveal his heart towards us. It’s a “Boaz” kind of kindness, one that will be very meaningful to you. It may be overlooked by most, but it will be a gesture that only the Lord will confirm. And it won’t stop there. If God has sent him, He will continue to confirm it as the relationship develops.

    Again, God is not demanding that we be perfect in this area. We’re going to make mistakes and missteps along the way. However, when our heart’s motivation is to honor God and to please Him with our whole lives, He will continue to help us in the development and growth of a relationship that He sanctions. Meeting the person doesn’t mean that our spiritual preparation for marriage has ended. It means that we’ve counted the costs and are ready to build. We will have shown God that our hearts are fully open to Him, even while we’re still under construction.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “I’m Open While Under Construction”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Prince of Peace

    The Prince of Peace

    God’s extraordinary prophecy in Isaiah 9:6(KJV) proclaims, “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Undoubtedly, many of God’s people were taught this Old Testament scripture as it was passed down from generation to generation. The manifestation of it then landed in the Gospels, as the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, finally came! Mary, the woman who was engaged to Joseph, was a willing vessel. The angel, Gabriel, gave her the Good News that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and the power of the Most High would overshadow her. She would give birth to a son named Jesus, who would be very great and the Son of God. Luke 1:38(NLT) tells us that her response was, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.”

    In Luke 1:28, the angel, Gabriel, called Mary, highly favored one, blessed among women. Our Heavenly Father knew every detail of Mary’s and Joseph’s lives and future. He knew they would be good parents for His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, and He chose them for this esteemed honor. Our precious Lord and Savior left the throne of God to come to earth, and although he is deity, Jesus came as a human being. If our all-powerful, all-knowing God had wanted Jesus Christ to come to earth as a fully-grown man, then it would have been done this way, but that was not the case. Jesus was born from a mother’s womb like us. As a baby, he allowed himself to be one of the most vulnerable creatures on earth, and with a watchful eye, God entrusted his care to Mary and Joseph.

    A Son is given
    Before he left the throne of the Most High, Our blessed Redeemer, Jesus Christ, had not taken human form. He was indeed God’s Son, but our Heavenly Father’s plan for the redemption of humanity meant that His Son had to be given. He had to take on the form of a human being and become like us in order to save us. Hebrews 9:22(NLT) says, “In fact, according to the law of Moses, nearly everything was purified with blood. For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness.” According to God’s Law, our sin makes us guilty, because our sin is rebellion against God and His Word. Romans 6:23 tells us that the penalty or cost of sin is death, and this was the weight and curse we carried before Christ came to the earth.

    Romans 5:12(NLT) says, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” Our sin made us enemies of God, and we desperately needed a Savior to restore our friendship with Heavenly Father and to rescue us from sin and death. We couldn’t do this for ourselves, so God sent His Son. 1John 4:10(NLT) declares, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” Jesus came to the earth not as an angel, but as a man who shed his blood and died an agonizing death on the cross so that we could be made righteous and live eternally with God.

    The government shall be upon his shoulder
    When Adam sinned against God, he transferred everything God had given him to satan, including his dominion and authority in the earth. Ephesians 6:11-12(NLT) tells us, “11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Wars, rumors of wars, poverty, violence, wickedness, crime, chaos, confusion, and cruelty, these and all other remnants of darkness and destruction are a result of satan’s influence over our world. Right now, the government isn’t upon the shoulder of our King, Jesus Christ, but one day it will be.

    Philippians 2:10-11(NLT) proclaims, “10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” In the world today, every knee has not bowed, and every tongue has not confessed that Jesus Christ is Lord, quite the contrary. In these modern times, people are finding new ways to rebel and reject God and His Word, but one day this will all cease. On that glorious day when our Lord and Master returns to the earth, he will set up his Kingdom, a Kingdom that will never end. The government will be on his shoulder, and it will be a government of his peace, love, joy, and power.

    Wonderful, Counsellor
    Jesus Christ is our wonderful counsellor, and he is so deserving of this title. There isn’t a detail about any aspect of our lives that he doesn’t know, and he wants to help us with any problems or obstacles we may face. Hebrews 4:14-15(NLT) tells us, “14 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” Jesus Christ is our Mediator and Advocate, and he’s a member of the Most Holy Council of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

    So often we face situations in life that confound us. It seems that there isn’t a solution, but that is never the case. Jesus is the answer to all our problems. He invites us in Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), “28 Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Jesus paid the price for our sins because he loves us so much. He deserves to be the first resource we turn to, not the last. Whether it’s mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, through our faith in him, he will help us to overcome. 

    The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace
    Romans 5:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.” We grossly underestimate the level of gratitude that our God deserves for rescuing us from death and darkness through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. No one could do for us what God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to accomplish on the earth. The awe, majesty, honor, praise, and glory that we should have for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit should far exceed the adoration and devotion we have for any other person or thing. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace, and because he is, our hope in him will never disappoint us, because he has all power and authority. He is King of kings and Lord of lords, and one day the whole world will know it!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Prince of Peace”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Simple and Ordinary Have Value

    Simple and Ordinary Have Value

    Ecclesiastes 1:9-11(NLT)
    “9 History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. 10 Sometimes people say, “Here is something new!” But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. 11 We don’t remember what happened in the past, and in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now.”

    Getting up every morning and doing the same thing can seem quite mundane for many of us. We fix lunches, drop off the kids at school, go to work, cook dinner, go grocery shopping, and put the kids to bed. It can feel as though nothing changes from day to day.  You start to think that life is full of repetitive tasks, and many of them go without thanks or acknowledgement. Let’s suppose that our Heavenly Father thanked you every day for doing the mundane things that your love ones sometimes take for granted. Would your attitude about your everyday routines change or remain the same?

    The Book of Ecclesiastes was written by King David’s son, Solomon, who also became King of the Israelites. 1Kings 3:5 tells us that the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and in this dream, God asked Solomon, “What do you want?” Solomon replied in 1Kings 3:9(NLT), “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” God was very pleased with Solomon’s request and said in 1Kings 3:12(NLT), “I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have!” So, King Solomon is known as the wisest man that has ever lived.

    Solomon explored every facet of human life that was available to him. He thought this practice would reveal a depth of meaningfulness that would yield overflowing fulfillment, but this was not the case. Instead, he found that life was a series of endless cycles, and he complained about the sameness of it all. He understood that the souls of humans are like empty cups, and life is lacking and void without that cup being filled. As he searched the lives of thousands of individuals that were at his beck and call. Their lives were mirrors of this sameness, serving him and taking care of their families. He found that the existences of those he examined were as thankless and mundane as he found his own life to be.

    Boredom is such a dangerous course because it breeds ingratitude. Solomon spent a great deal of time being enamored with the gift, instead of being captivated by the Giver. During his intellectual and recreational explorations of human life, he looked for God in things rather than seeking the things of God. He became lost in the endless sameness of it all and came away with the realization that nothing seemed new.

    After writing so much about the emptiness of life, King Solomon realized that true fulfillment comes from serving God. In Ecclesiastes 12:13-14(NLT), he wrote: “13 Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. 14 God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.”

    Jesus Christ taught us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. From his teaching, we can know resolutely that life is more about giving than receiving. Our God is the Great Giver, and when we give of ourselves to others, we are imitating God’s nature. This is the epiphany that Solomon ultimately realized. Life is energized through God’s love, and when sharing His love becomes the motivation for everything we do, the mundane and ordinary become infused with meaning.

    Our Heavenly Father values the simple and ordinary. He didn’t intend for our lives to be complicated and weighed down by anxiety and burdensome tasks. Nehemiah 8:10 tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength, and we find this joy in seeking Him first, above all other things. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have excitement in our lives. But we must remember that God is life. He is love, liberty, and light, and living through Jesus Christ guarantees that every moment of each day is the blessing God intends it to be.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Simple and Ordinary Have Value”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.