Find A Christian Man

Tag: Relationship Advice for Believers

Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there. Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 20, 2024
Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.

Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.

They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.

Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.

We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.

The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.

Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.

After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.

Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.

Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.

He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.

Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Romance Cannot Replace the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 13, 2024
Our Need for Companionship

One of my co-workers is a born-again believer, and he’s 37, single, attractive, and financially secure. I was being a bit brazen one day and asked him if he ever wanted to get married. He answered, “Yes, when I find the right one.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that what most single men say?” I have no doubt that he was being sincere, but I must admit that this response and attitude of many single men still baffles me. What’s the criteria they’re holding for “the right one”? Is it based on the standards that God has set in His Word, or is it based on a physical attraction that immediately sparks a response of his flesh? Is he looking for both those things or is he blinded by a refusal to be humble and allow God to direct this area of his life?

He may not have given much thought to how he defines “the right one”, but as a woman wanting to partner, you must be keenly interested in why he thinks he hasn’t met her. We shouldn’t be under any delusions about their pickiness here. Men need companionship as much as women. They are innately aware that they need the nurturing of women to live the more than abundantly life that Jesus Christ made available. If it were available for them to have this level of living without women, Adam would never have needed Eve, but the reality is that Adam did need Eve. And men do need women. This is the Will of God.

Genesis 2:20(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God’s brilliance and the perfection of provision dictated that Adam needed a helper, and part of Adam’s responsibility would be to care for her as well. Nothing about the way God set this up has changed. In Genesis 2:24(NLT), God said “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Whether we accept it or not, this is the Will of God concerning the marriage of a man and woman, and His blessing hinges on the condition that His Word is honored and respected.

Of course, every man and woman have the free-will choice to decide the person that they will marry, but if we ask God, He will send the person that HE has ordained to be just right for us. However, the reality is that most of us don’t ask Him, and we don’t extend an invitation for Him to be Lord over this aspect of our lives. God will not interfere with our relationship decisions without an invitation from us. He will never overstep our free-will choice. We get to decide if we want and will follow His guidance. History has proven how devastating the results can be in marriage when a couple doesn’t invite God into their unions. They fail to submit to His leadership through the Lord Jesus Christ, and the results of this is catastrophic.

An excuse to be selfish
The issue is not about a man finding the right one. The issue is whether he will recognize the woman God sends. For him to recognize her, his eyes must be open. For his eyes to be open, he should be seeking the Lord about it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 11:9-10(NLT), “9 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Our Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts, and He knows exactly how to provide for us. It is necessary that we humble ourselves in honor of His perfection, brilliance, and power, and seek Him for ALL things.

Many physically mature men have never been married. They are financially stable, intelligent, affable, and have great relationships. They are perfectly able to share their lives, generosity, loyalty, and love with a woman in the Spirit of Christ, but they refuse to do this. An expanding bank balance, a satisfactory level of success, a comfortable lifestyle, and a fear that someone might jeopardize these things makes many men lock- on to selfishness with a death grip.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to His Will and to the lives of others. Sadly, many men do not view this as their responsibility to Christ. Instead of being committed to obedience and faith in God, they choose selfishness as a device to appease their insecurities about money and preserve their way of life. They use their singleness to shield themselves from the commitment of truly sharing their lives with a woman, and they often see their single status as a license to try on several women like new pairs of shoes.

This is a form of exploitation, and it is in no way Godly. As women of faith, we need to see it coming a mile away. We should not yield to it, neither should we attempt to do it ourselves. There’s a right way to find the right fit, and it is to seek God and make sure our actions are guided by Him.

An excuse to play around
1Corinthians 7:32-35(NLT) gives us wisdom for understanding God’s Will. It says, “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

The wisdom of this passage teaches us God’s standard for marital conduct. It teaches us that marriage is a gift. It’s God’s way of providing companionship but it is also a way of keeping us from sexual immorality, because that stuff just wrecks the lives of people. It takes them further away from God rather than closer to Him and His blessings. Our Heavenly Father made it clear in 1Corinthians 7:32-35 that the only acceptable reason a man would remain single is that God has ordained him for the purpose of being totally sold out to ministry. Women are just as much God’s treasures as men, and neither a man nor a woman should ever use their single status as an excuse to play around with God’s treasures.

Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the only acceptable way to love God. Well, how do we accomplish it? 1John 5:3(NLT) declares, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Our need and desire for companionship must never be above our allegiance to honor God and do what He says.

The right one for all of us is forever and always Jesus Christ. He’s the one to give us marital unity and longevity, and our commitment to honor him allows us to walk in his love, strength, and power. We have made relationships way more complicated than God ever intended. We can’t navigate this rocky terrain without His help. We desperately need His guidance, so we should never try to take things into our own hands by leaning on our own understanding. That’s not a winning strategy. 1John 5:4 tells us that every person in life will defeat the plots and tricks of evil, and we will do this, not by selfishness or a need to control, but by the victory that is achieved through our faith in God. So, if a man is truly waiting to find the right one, he should be seeking God’s guidance. Most importantly, he should never allow his single status to be a detriment to any woman’s life or to his own with relationship with God and standing in Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Our Need for Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 6, 2024
Daily Maintenance Is Required

Psalm 37:4(NKJV)
“Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse signals us to delight in our Lord but many believers don’t take him up on it. We don’t because too many of us get disappointed and let down if we think God takes too long to bless us with what we believe we deserve.”

In 1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul told the believers in Thessalonica, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” Paul understood firsthand about the challenges that were facing those who followed Christ, and the commandment to them is to believers living today as well. Although most of us don’t face death on a daily basis as the believers did in biblical days, we still face some really tough challenges in our day and time. One of them is being single in what seems like a sea of men that have no interest in marriage whatsoever.

Philippians 2:3 tells us not to do anything out of rivalry or conceit, instead we are to be humble and put the benefit of others over ourselves. How many of us have done this or have the attitude of humility and selflessness that this verse conveys? Most of us know a single person that has a heart to be married, and they’ve been praying to God for the opportunity for a while. Although they may not express it to us, there are scars from enduring one relationship disappointment after the other. The loneliness of being single longer than you’d like can press up against your faith at times. It can be a struggle to remain encouraged, especially when it feels as though you’re not making progress, and no one seems to understand your pain.

As believers, we have a responsibility to encourage others. Whether we are single or married, those that are spiritually mature should encourage those that are endeavoring to increase their believing towards marriage. Again, sometimes being single is not an easy road. Hearing positive and uplifting encouragement to fight the good fight of faith is a gift to single individuals struggling to stay the course.

If you’re a single person, you might be thinking, “I need encouragement myself.” The answer to this is to give what you desire to receive. This kind of giving and unselfish attitude is what God expects from each of us. It’s how we show His love to others, and we should make it a priority to do this daily.

There are different kinds of love, and romantic or eros love is what many singles crave. This kind of love comes from physical attraction. It’s the sensual intimacy that a husband and wife share and initially it is expressed through romance. Although this kind of love is meaningful to a marriage, it is not enough to sustain and maintain a marital union. We must be extremely clear about this. God’s love is agape love, and His love is the one on which all other kinds of love must hinge.

God’s divine love is the kind of love that He has for all of us, and He requires us to have it for Him. We have been empowered by Jesus Christ to love God the way He wants. Romans 5:5(NLT) says, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” The Holy Spirit abides within us and he fills our hearts with God’s love. We are full to running over, and the question for us is whether we’re pouring out to others what God has poured into us.

There is no doubt that if we are saved and Holy Spirit filled through Jesus Christ, we have God’s love in us. So, we have the ability and capacity to give it away, and this is what God expects. Many of us want to jump right into eros love, because it tickles the flesh, but that is not the way of a spiritually mature believer, and we must be spiritually mature to partner in marriage. As men and women that aspire to be all that God has called us to be, we should develop a daily maintenance plan for our souls. We should continually and freely extend to others what has so freely been extended to us through Jesus Christ.

If we keep holding on to the love of God within, and we neglect to share it abundantly, we are missing opportunities to lay up treasures. We’re not being the kind of blessing that we can and should be. Let’s not do this. Real love is agape love. It’s God’s love that He has placed within His kids through His Holy Spirit. We need to learn more about the nature of God’s love, so that we continuously put it on in our hearts and minds.

All of us should want a spouse that loves us through Christ, because this is the only love that has the glue to hold a marriage together. So, lets make spiritual maturity a consistent prayer request, and let’s be diligent to unselfishly and lovingly encourage singles to stay prayerful and never lose faith in God. We need this ourselves, and we are equipped and will be blessed for extending it to others. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Daily Maintenance Is Required”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 29, 2024
God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You

Psalm 84:11(NLT)
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

So, your boyfriend has told you that he wants to take a break, and you’re looking at him like, “Have you lost your mind?!!!” You’ve been together for two years, invested your affection, time, and resources, and he has decided that it’s not working for him. You want an explanation, right. You want to know why he allowed you to think that everything was hunky dory, and that the possibility of marriage might be somewhere down the road. You want to know why he kept taking everything you offered and never once hinted that it wasn’t enough for him or that he wasn’t happy. This man looked you in the eye and said that he needed to be out of your presence and away from your life, and he can’t even tell you exactly why.

This is hurt, frustration, anger, insecurity, and bewilderment all rolled into one. Added to this is the curiosity about what’s really going on with him. Were you duped and didn’t have a clue? Were you completely unaware of who this man really is? The questions are endless, and most of us will spend an enormous amount of time racking our brains about it. We do this because rejection knocks the wind out of our sails. It batters our self-esteem and makes us insecure about the choices and decisions we make.

When something like this occurs, we might question God and ask Him what in the world happened. We thought this man was a keeper, and we could visualize spending our lives together. We thought things were going to work out and never saw the ask for a break coming. Well, there’s a saying that we shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. The milk is on the floor, no longer drinkable, and crying will not reverse the outcome. We know this on the surface, but we’re emotional creatures. Crying over relationship issues is a common response. However, we must be confident that crying about it isn’t the only response.

We should give ourselves a short window to cry our eyes out over the relationship gone wrong, but we should also put a time limit on those tears. We most move from crying over spilled milk to formulating a plan to elevate ourselves spiritually and increase our faith.

When things don’t go right for our lives, we cry out to the Lord because we know that something is wrong. We seek Him because we’re stressed, and we don’t know how things got out of alignment. In the Old Testament, this is the situation God’s people were in when they began to cry out to Him for help. Their hearts were not with God, but they still went through the motions of worship. He was not pleased, so the release they expected didn’t materialize. God rejected their offerings and worship. He rejected their praise, and in Malachi 2:14-15(NLT), He told the men, “14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”

The lives of God’s people got away from them because they failed to guard their hearts. This is a powerful lesson for those of us living today. To guard your heart is to make sure your faith in God remains strong. Then unexpected situations of disappointment and heartache will not leave you with the emotional instability of anxiety. You will not allow the impulses of panic and obsession to make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Philippians 4:6-7(ESV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To be anxious is to be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities. Anxiety is a refusal to be at peace about situations we can’t control. It can be gut-wrenching and overwhelming, and it also shows us the areas in our lives where we are not allowing God’s love to rule. He tells us not to be anxious. This is a direct commandment. Instead, we are to pray to Him in faith, with thanksgiving.

Faith and gratitude to God is the strategy that He has given us for successful living. And the faith and gratitude that He has outlined in Philippians 4:6-7 is the appropriate response to disappointment, heartbreak, and any other adversity we face. Heavenly Father instructs us to tell Him what our needs are, and to do so with faith and gratitude in our hearts. When we do this, His peace will overcome our anxieties and comfort our hearts and minds.

Relationship mistakes and the outcomes they bring are notoriously hurtful. They can set us back in many ways, but this will not happen if we strive to increase our faith in God. We must place more effort in trusting our Heavenly Father than we do in our feelings and thoughts of abandonment and despair. The root of our heartache and disappointment is a fear that we may not ever receive the kind of relationship we desire. Our Heavenly Father allowed this fear to be exposed so that we can see it for what it is and overcome it. God will not keep a good thing from you. He will help you to grow in His love so that you recognize the blessing He sends, and most importantly, so that you continue to keep your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 22, 2024
I’m Still Working on Myself

Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)
“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.”

“I’m not ready to get married yet. I’m still working on myself.”

You’ve probably heard this statement from some single individuals, and it has everything to do with how they view marriage and how they view themselves. A man in his early forties said this to me when he and I were talking about marriage. He’s a spiritually mature believer, and I was surprised to hear him say that he’s still not ready for marriage. He believes that he needs to work on himself, because once he marries, he doesn’t ever want to get a divorce. This is admirable by anyone’s standard. The problem is that being spiritually, mentally, and emotionally prepared to partner isn’t something we can do on our own. If a person isn’t actively pursuing and seeking God’s direction, they might not ever take that walk down the aisle.

We all have insecurities, and often those are the source of our uncertainties about getting married. So, we’re talking about internal issues with the heart and soul. These can manipulate the mind into having feelings and attitudes that do not line up with our new reality in Christ.

The work that God calls every one of His children to do is the work of their hearts, minds, and souls. It’s not about being ready for marriage, it’s about being ready to live for God through the Lord Jesus Christ. He said to his followers in Luke 9:23(NLT), “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” God wants to see commitment from us, and it is out of this steadfast commitment to God and His Kingdom that the loyalty and unity for marriage are formed.

For many, turning from selfish ways is the issue. God’s commandment regarding working on ourselves is that we learn more about Christ and take on more of his nature. 1John 2:6(ESV) tells us that “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” So, we can see that when a believer says they’re not ready to get married because they have more work to do on themselves, this work should be about growing in Christ and putting on more of his love. If it’s not about growing in Christ, it’s an excuse to further indulge selfishness.

We are not sufficient in and of ourselves. If we were able to work on ourselves and get better outside of Christ, he would not have had to come to the earth and die. We are not qualified to do the kind of work within that is necessary to please God. And if we don’t please Him, we are outside His Will, which is the worst place of any in life to be. 2Corinthians 3:5(NKJV) affirms, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

We all have a work to do on ourselves, and it is the work of our hearts and minds, to put off the negative and dark behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes of our old nature, and to put on the nature of Christ, who offered himself as a sacrifice to rescue us from sin and death. The incompletion of this work cannot be offered as an excuse for delaying commitments, because again, everyone is being perfected in Christ. Our goal must be to see ourselves as being continually fortified by God through Jesus Christ. This is what makes us more than conquerors and spiritually empowered to do all the things God has purposed us to do. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“I’m Still Working on Myself”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 15, 2024
Know What You’re Working With

Psalm 84:11(NLT)
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

So, your boyfriend has told you that he wants to take a break, and you’re looking at him like, “Have you lost your mind?!!!” You’ve been together for two years, invested your affection, time, and resources, and he has decided that it’s not working for him. You want an explanation, right. You want to know why he allowed you to think that everything was hunky dory, and that the possibility of marriage might be somewhere down the road. You want to know why he kept taking everything you offered and never once hinted that it wasn’t enough for him or that he wasn’t happy. This man looked you in the eye and said that he needed to be out of your presence and away from your life, and he can’t even tell you exactly why.

This is hurt, frustration, anger, insecurity, and bewilderment all rolled into one. Added to this is the curiosity about what’s really going on with him. Were you duped and didn’t have a clue? Were you completely unaware of who this man really is? The questions are endless, and most of us will spend an enormous amount of time racking our brains about it. We do this because rejection knocks the wind out of our sails. It batters our self-esteem and makes us insecure about the choices and decisions we make.

When something like this occurs, we might question God and ask Him what in the world happened. We thought this man was a keeper, and we could visualize spending our lives together. We thought things were going to work out and never saw the ask for a break coming. Well, there’s a saying that we shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. The milk is on the floor, no longer drinkable, and crying will not reverse the outcome. We know this on the surface, but we’re emotional creatures. Crying over relationship issues is a common response. However, we must be confident that crying about it isn’t the only response.

We should give ourselves a short window to cry our eyes out over the relationship gone wrong, but we should also put a time limit on those tears. We most move from crying over spilled milk to formulating a plan to elevate ourselves spiritually and increase our faith.

When things don’t go right for our lives, we cry out to the Lord because we know that something is wrong. We seek Him because we’re stressed, and we don’t know how things got out of alignment. In the Old Testament, this is the situation God’s people were in when they began to cry out to Him for help. Their hearts were not with God, but they still went through the motions of worship. He was not pleased, so the release they expected didn’t materialize. God rejected their offerings and worship. He rejected their praise, and in Malachi 2:14-15(NLT), He told the men, “14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”

The lives of God’s people got away from them because they failed to guard their hearts. This is a powerful lesson for those of us living today. To guard your heart is to make sure your faith in God remains strong. Then unexpected situations of disappointment and heartache will not leave you with the emotional instability of anxiety. You will not allow the impulses of panic and obsession to make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Philippians 4:6-7(ESV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To be anxious is to be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities. Anxiety is a refusal to be at peace about situations we can’t control. It can be gut-wrenching and overwhelming, and it also shows us the areas in our lives where we are not allowing God’s love to rule. He tells us not to be anxious. This is a direct commandment. Instead, we are to pray to Him in faith, with thanksgiving.

Faith and gratitude to God is the strategy that He has given us for successful living. And the faith and gratitude that He has outlined in Philippians 4:6-7 is the appropriate response to disappointment, heartbreak, and any other adversity we face. Heavenly Father instructs us to tell Him what our needs are, and to do so with faith and gratitude in our hearts. When we do this, His peace will overcome our anxieties and comfort our hearts and minds.

Relationship mistakes and the outcomes they bring are notoriously hurtful. They can set us back in many ways, but this will not happen if we strive to increase our faith in God. We must place more effort in trusting our Heavenly Father than we do in our feelings and thoughts of abandonment and despair. The root of our heartache and disappointment is a fear that we may not ever receive the kind of relationship we desire. Our Heavenly Father allowed this fear to be exposed so that we can see it for what it is and overcome it. God will not keep a good thing from you. He will help you to grow in His love so that you recognize the blessing He sends, and most importantly, so that you continue to keep your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 8, 2024
When He Makes You His Wife

Genesis 2:23(NLT)
“At last!” the man exclaimed.” This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called woman because she was taken from man.”

Adam was incredibly thankful to God for bringing him Eve. He was excited because he was given a companion that would bless his life. Adam wasn’t intellectually impaired in any way, quite the opposite. He was brilliant because he spent every waking moment with God. Once he laid eyes on Eve, he understood the gift he had received. Someone like him was now a part of his life, and in Adam’s mind and heart, this was something worth celebrating.

The connection between Adam and Eve was undeniable. He was very much aware that God had taken a rib from his body and from it made Eve, his wife. Adam understood the math, that from one, two were made to function as one. Two would walk together in unity as they lived God’s purpose. This is God’s masterful plan.

Adam was the first man, and he was created before Eve. God doesn’t make mistakes, and knowledge regarding everything that He does is purposeful for our journey in life. It should not be lost on us that God presented Eve to Adam, and that God intended her to help Adam fulfill the tasks he had been assigned. These are very simple lessons about marital partnership. God made them that way so that everyone could grasp His intended Will, plan and purpose.

Sadly, we have turned what God made simple into multifaceted complications, and this has done a number on the way we perceive marriage. Because we haven’t followed God’s marriage plan, the devil has wedged his way into the equation. By getting us to focus on the flesh, satan has managed to mess with our minds to such a degree that we’ve made sexual pleasure more important than God’s purpose. We’ve lost God’s priority in the matter, and this has so greatly diminished our reverence for God’s institution of marriage, that we think dating someone is a satisfactory replacement.

The reason that God’s Word, the Bible, doesn’t cover the subject of dating is because He intended a man to esteem a woman’s honor so highly that he would not do anything to contradict it. Dating, in the modern sense, throws this out of the window in many cases. God demonstrated for us in Genesis 1-2 that He had given Adam tremendous authority in the earth. He then lost it, but through Jesus Christ, this authority was restored. Like Adam, the authority of Christ that is given to a husband is solely to be exercised through a man’s dedication and devotion to God. Men are to be responsible to God to do as God pleases. It is no less for a woman, but the responsibility to be a Godly husband came to Adam first. 1Corinthians 11:3 (ESV) states, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” This is the hierarchy God has etched in stone, and it cannot be altered or changed by anyone but Him.

The love language between a man and a woman begins with the love of Christ. The man is responsible to Christ for honoring and loving his wife. Ephesians 5:25(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This not only conveys the depth of love that Christ has for the church, but it conveys God’s love for husbands and wives. He set the bar for the way a man should love his wife.

God made Eve to be the blessing Adam needed and deserved. Heavenly Father made her everything a woman could and should be. They both loved and honored one another, she, a helper perfectly suited to help Adam carry out God’s purpose, and he, perfectly suited to honor God and honor his wife. God set this up, and regardless of how modern we think we might be, understand that God knows best and His way works best. So, when a man makes you his wife, know what God requires of you and what He requires of the man. He expects the man to see you as a gift, one that is worthy of the celebration of marriage. ■

Amplified Bible Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation All rights reserved http://www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When He Makes You His Wife”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 1, 2024
Honor God with Your Body

There is no question that the world is trying to move to a complete abandonment of God’s Word. Part of this mindset is the desire to do whatever we want regardless of what God says. We want to do our own thing, and we saw this attitude first in Adam and Eve. It is rooted in a desire to escape God’s judgment about the wrong things we take pleasure in doing. The truth is that God is our Creator, and He tells us what is right and what is wrong. He sanctifies us and makes us holy through His Word and being sanctified and holy is the only way we can have fellowship with God. It’s the only way to enjoy the rich and satisfying blessings that are the rewards of pleasing Him.

We are washed in the blood of the lamb and become sanctified by it when we make Jesus Christ Lord over our lives. After this sanctification, this washing of the blood of Christ, our bodies are fit to become a temple that houses the Holy Spirit of God. Our Heavenly Father is perfect and pure. He is holy, and His Spirit cannot dwell in an unclean place. Because of what God accomplished for us through the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ, we are made clean, and this is what our Heavenly Father wanted. He wanted holy, pure, and perfect fellowship with us. He wanted to dwell in us so we could be close to Him, and He did all this through Christ.

As we continue to journey forward in our new birth reality in Christ, it is our responsibility to preserve our temples. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” God has commanded us to abstain from having sexual intimacy outside of marriage because doing so defiles our temples. He forgives us when we sin if we seek His forgiveness. God is merciful and full of grace. He grants us forgiveness when we ask for it, and this restores our fellowship with Him, but we must remember that for every action there is a consequence. His forgiveness does not mean that we escape the consequences of the sinful action we’ve committed.

Some of us have joined our flesh together with many men, and it has had a severe impact on our desire and plans for marriage. This is not stated to condemn, because condemnation keeps us from accepting the truth. It keeps us from repenting from our sin and moving forward and higher in Christ. To condemn is to make useless or unusable. Think of a building with the windows and doors nailed shut and with massive yellow tape labeled “Do Not Enter” wrapped around it. This building has been condemned and everyone knows that you should not enter a condemned building because it is no longer usable.

Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” God doesn’t want us walking around beating ourselves up for our sin. He wants us to repent from it. Repentance means to have a change of mind and a change of heart. It is to refuse to do the sinful thing we did before. This is true repentance, and we should bless the Lord continually for giving us this way to get right with Him.

The consequence of joining ourselves with men other than our husbands is what many women are experiencing today. They have never repented for this sin and do not intend to. A woman of God that has been single a long time said to me, “I need to know if we’re sexually compatible before we get married – waiting is not for me.” I shared 1Corinthians 6:19-20 with her and told her that our bodies don’t belong to us, they belong to God. She abruptly ended the conversation.

When we refuse to follow God’s standard, we get ourselves in disastrous situations. Like all God’s covenants, the one He created for men and women is marriage, and it is not to be violated. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:4-5 The Message (MSG), “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one.” God reserved sexual intimacy for marriage because it binds a man and a woman into one unit in the eyesight of God. When they are married, they no longer function as two, but as one. This is according to God’s divine plan. When we’ve become one with several men through sexual intimacy, it violates the sanctity of the covenant God established. No one should ever want to do this. When we know better, we should do better.

In Isaiah 3:16-17,24(AMP), God said about the Daughters of Zion, the women of His people, “16 Because the daughters of Zion are proud and walk with outstretched necks and seductive (flirtatious, alluring) eyes, and trip along with mincing steps and an affected gait and walk with jingling anklets on their feet, 17 Therefore the Lord will afflict the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion with scabs [making them bald], 24 Now it will come to pass that instead of the sweet fragrance of spices there will be [the stench of] rottenness.” This was the curse that the devil was allowed to land because the women refused to listen to God.

We can’t be free by believing a lie. We must know the truth so that we understand God’s requirements, reroute ourselves to follow them, and receive the blessings He wants to give us. Many are praying to cross paths with their future husbands, but they should be praying to get right with God. He requires that our strongest desire is to please Him. So, don’t allow the weight of unrepented sin and the refusal to obey God to continue to keep you out of fellowship with Him. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind to God’s Word, have a repenting and humble heart, and be committed to keep your temple holy. ■

Amplified Bible Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation All rights reserved http://www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Honor God with Your Body”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 11, 2024
A Bright Future Even When the Path Looks Foggy

Many people look at Christianity and following Christ as merely a facet of culture that fits their personal philosophy. They see their way as “the way”, and like sound bites, they pick out the bits and pieces of the Bible that seem to go along with their way of thinking. A true disciple of Christ can’t remain on the sidelines like this. God won’t allow it. His plan for our individual lives will require a gradual, and sometimes quickly paced, all in kind of heart and mind. We’ll begin to view our personal philosophy as something the love of Christ will chisel down and rebuild with better tools and materials.

God’s goal is not to eradicate our personality, but to shape it into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. It will require us to believe the truth, which is the reality that Christ is life itself. Outside of him, there is no life. There is only an empty existence that will be without the possibility of spending an eternity in him. So, as every believer knows, to choose Christ is to choose love, and to choose love is to choose life—complete and lasting life!

Colossians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” This completeness is everything! Knowing this truth as the beautiful dream that God planned for us long before we entered our mother’s wombs should prompt us to go deeper in faith. We should long to know Jesus Christ on a deeper level so that we can know ourselves as completely as we are known of God. We should be resolute in knowing that better relationships, self-acceptance, peace of mind, and the joy of the Lord are all found in getting to know Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

Do you know that God is teaching you to love Him, and in so doing you are learning to love yourself? 1John 4:8(NLT) says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” This is a truth great enough to send us on love’s journey for an eternity. God is love. He is love at its purest, most powerful and creative existence. His love is unconditional and has no limitations. Any sane and logically thinking person that can comprehend the breadth, width, and depth of God’s love has the capacity to love through Him. This is what 1John 4:8 is telling us. But, of course, whether or not we love through God in Christ is totally our choice.

In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ commands, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” To love God with every ounce of all that we are is the first and great commandment. So, by logical deduction, we can understand that love’s path becomes very foggy when we do not love God in the way that Christ requires.

In most all cases, troubles and reparable brokenness in our relationships occur because we are not loving God according to the commandment of Christ in Mark 12:30. It is a very commonly known fact that many women make the significant man in their lives their everything. They don’t understand that God is sovereign and magnificent in every way, and He cannot accept a number two position ever.

When we bypass what God says and seek to please people over pleasing Him, our spiritual sight and hearing are impaired, because we are not allowing ourselves to be governed by His truth. Women that trust and have faith in God do not compromise or apologize for who He has made them. They must not allow anyone to squash their potential and rob them of the bright future God has ordained for their lives. To be embolden in Christ is to be ever inspired to rise to the level of his example. There are no curve outs or addendums to the victory that Jesus Christ has won for us. When we stand on God’s Word, that stand will remain a catalyst that causes things to work for our good. This is what our completeness in Christ means. It is not a philosophy, and it is exponentially more than a lifestyle. Living in Christ is living God’s truth!

Again, the path to love and blessings in a relationship can look very foggy, and we might find that we are not prepared for it. There are things about us and hiccups ahead that we can’t see from where we’re standing. Heartbreak and disappointment can cloud our view. We underestimate the degree to which we must turn ourselves around and make a shift in our thinking. 1John 5:3(ESV) states, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” When it comes to relationships, many of us believe the exact opposite. We believe that God’s commandments are burdensome, that they can’t be kept, and that we’ll lose out if we follow the path of His love.

This is never the case. Yes, we will make mistakes, but they will not rob us of the bright future ahead if we correct our course according to God’s Word. Sometimes, all it takes is a slight change in our mindset to set us on the right path. Set your thoughts to those of victory and joy in Christ. Envision what God has for you, and let it keep you always. Honor yourself by honoring God, and don’t get caught up in feelings and emotions. Trust in the Lord, and keep your eyes stayed on Him. He holds your future in His hands, and it will beautifully unfold if you remain on the course of His love.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“A Bright Future Even When the Path Look Foggy”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 4, 2024