Find A Christian Man

Tag: Relationship Advice for Believers

If You Will Allow It

If we stuck to God’s Word and allowed it to lead, guide, and direct us when it comes to relationships that lead to marriage, every woman today that desires a husband would have one. We should never think that there aren’t enough men to go around for Godly women. That could never be true because our God deals in the exceedingly abundantly. Blessings continually flow from heaven and do so unendingly. Our Heavenly Father took care of our needs before any of us were born. You can have every confidence that there’s someone in this world that was born around the same time you were that will be just as thankful to have you in his life as you will be to be a part of his life. The distance between you and your future husband is always about your faith and what you’re doing to back it.

Ephesians 3:20-21(ESV) says, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” God has already proven to us, and to everything else He has created, that He is able to do the exceedingly abundantly. He has established the incomparable and unyielding nature of His power and put a period behind it. We sometimes forget this.

When people witness God’s power in their lives in a mighty way, many of them will think that He moved just in the nick of time in their personal circumstances. In reality, He knew about the situation ions ago, and settled it long before we came to be. Our mode of thinking and praying must get in gear with the all-knowing, all-powerful, sovereignty of His being. God knows the end at the beginning and the beginning at the end. He set the solution to all our problems in motion before even our great, great, great grandparents were born.

Genesis 2:3(ESV) says, “So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.” God rested! He has already completed the ‘far more abundantly than all we can ask or think’ of Ephesians 3:20, and He completed it through Jesus Christ. John 1:1-4(ESV) tells us, “1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.” The “Word” in this passage is referring to Jesus Christ, the living Word of God. He was with God in the beginning and all things were made through him. God isn’t making things up as we move along. Our Heavenly Father’s plan for the universe was finished when He rested. It’s a done deal, and we must make room in our understanding for this in order to move in the power and authority of Christ. God said in Hebrews 4:3(NLT), “For only we who believe can enter his rest. As for the others, God said, “In my anger I took an oath:
‘They will never enter my place of rest,’” even though this rest has been ready since he made the world.”

There is nowhere in the Bible where anyone will find that God has left the state of rest He entered into and told us about in Genesis 2:3. In truth, the rest He entered is so profound that He commanded us to make that day of His rest holy and remember it forever. So, God is still in His state of rest, and He invites all those that love, honor, and obey Him through Jesus Christ to enter into His rest.

God is brilliant beyond brilliance, magnificent beyond magnificence, and powerful beyond power. He has given us His Word, and His Word is His Will. God has already moved. He made Christ our Savior long before Adam and Eve were created or ever sinned. There’s nothing that is a surprise to Him, and He tells us in Proverbs 19:21 that we can make many plans, but His purpose will forever prevail. God’s Will and Word was established before He created humans. Again, He has already miraculously, prophetically, and meticulously moved, and He commands us to step into His unchangeable and perfect Will. He has created the universe in such a way that once we have aligned our will with His Will, everything around us will cooperate with us and we will see His Will come to pass in our lives.

If you know this, then you will read Ephesians 3:20 with amazing clarity about your power and authority in Christ. You will understand that God has moved, it’s our turn. We are the ones with dominion and authority in the earth, and He commands us to stand in it through Christ Jesus, our Lord.

God has done the exceedingly abundantly, and if we allow it, the exceedingly abundantly will show up in an amazing way in our lives. The condition of witnessing the exceedingly abundantly of Ephesians 3:20 is in this same verse. He tells us that we will witness the exceedingly abundantly “according to the power at work within us.” This means that as we think about the future spouse, and as we ponder the who, what, how, and when, we need to look in the mirror and ask, “Am I allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to be at work within me?” And if you answer, “yes”, the next question is what have you done that testifies this is so? 1Corinthians 4:20(NLT) declares, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” So, the power that works in us isn’t just a lot of talk. It’s about the tangible evidence of your faith.

It’s about what you are doing right now to back your faith in God regarding what you are expecting Him to fulfill. You see, our Heavenly Father has a different idea about our potential than we do. He knows what He’s given us in Christ and tells us in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives us strength. He tells us that when we ask Him for a blessing beyond the ones we’re currently enjoying, we should get busy thanking Him for it before it even arrives.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 16:19(NLT), “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” We’re the ones with the keys, and we decide what we will or will not allow in our lives. This is up to us. We can lock ourselves out of blessings or open the door to them. If the latter is our choice, then we must do as so many others have done in God’s Word. We must back our faith by demonstrating to God how thankful we are to be saved and filled with His Holy Spirit. The way to thank Him has not changed. It’s not to focus on what we don’t have, but to focus on what we do have in Christ. We must use the authority and power of Christ to demonstrate our love for God by growing in His Word and doing the good works He has commanded us to do in the lives of others.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“If You Will Allow It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 9, 2024
They Instead Became Fools

Romans 1:20-22(NLT)
“20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. 21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.”

Pure joy. That’s how Carolyn felt after her first date with Marvin. They’d met each other through a mutual friend and after talking on the phone a couple of weeks, they decided to meet up. Carolyn was all in after that. She had butterflies at even the thought of being in his company. Never wanting to seem overzealous, she tried to be patient and allow the relationship to slowly develop, but that quickly went out the window. It had been two years since she last dated, and since Marvin seemed to be as smitten with her as she was with him, they both jumped in.

Marvin is a single dad with two teenage boys that he absolutely adores. They came to live with him after their mother remarried. Carolyn was an only child with no children of her own, but she always believed she’d be a good mother. They had been dating over six months and everyone she knew was excited because Carolyn was happier than they had ever seen her. She had never known a more loving man than Marvin, but as their relationship settled a little more, his deep devotion to his boys became more apparent. He had been upfront with her about a commitment he had made to them, and Carolyn knew that he would only bring the woman he dated around them if he was confident it was long term.

As she thought about her few brief encounters with Marvin’s sons over the last several months, Carolyn began to feel insecure about her relationship with Marvin. She’s so afraid of rocking the boat that she won’t ask him why he continues to keep distance between her and his sons. Could it be that although he cares for her, he’s seen qualities that make him question if she can really be the mother that he believes his sons deserve?

God tells us in Romans 8:28(NLT), “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” As single women, we would be well suited to allow the heft of what God is telling us in this verse to marinate for a while. You see, God is not a stranger to anyone. Romans 1:20-21 makes it clear that people see His wondrous creation every day. They breath His air and bask under His sun. We can’t get it twisted. It’s God who makes everything come together, and the evidence of His wondrous power is the effortless quality of how He works. All you and I have to do is sit back and watch God.

Proverbs 19:21 reminds us that we can make many plans, but God’s purpose will prevail. When His anointing flows in a situation, for us, it’s like He’s parted the Red Sea and all we have to do is walk through. That’s what He does when we honor Him and seek Him first in all things, but some of us become so excited about meeting someone new, that we leave God and His wisdom out of the equation. Unlike the folks whose minds become dark and confused, as believers that are fully persuaded in God’s power and love, we should never question or be confused about His brilliance and attention to details. We shouldn’t take anything for granted when it comes to our walk with Christ, and we should be confident that when God does the exceedingly abundantly in our lives, He doesn’t miss a beat.

Romans 1:23-25(NLT) goes on to tell us, “23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles. 24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen.”

When a woman is so afraid of losing a man that she will not ask him questions that are extremely important to her, it tells you a lot about her priorities. It’s possible that she’s more interested in her standing in that relationship than she is in her standing in Christ. Some of us make a lot of compromises in our significant relationships with men, and some of them are an offense to our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. We must be careful that we’re not worshiping people and things instead of worshiping our Creator in spirit and truth. If there’s any hint of this in our lives, we must repent.

As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we have an enemy, the devil, and he would like nothing more than to make a fool of us. Don’t trade your rights and privileges in Christ for quick pleasure. Just because it looks right doesn’t always mean it is right for you. Society has made relationships of today very challenging, and we must be careful that we are partnering with a man that God has ordained for us. He’s the One with the plan, and we need to leave all the details to Him and make doubly sure that we’re hearing His directives. We can rest assured that when God’s hand is in it, things work together according to His purpose. You’ll experience the liberty and peace of Christ in yourself and in your significant relationship as you both welcome each other into one another’s lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“They Instead Became Fools”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 2, 2024
We Can’t Rush God

Society has taught us many things, and one of them is to expect results immediately. If it seems to us that a process is delayed, we use every available resource at our disposal to speed it up. Our modern society has almost no tolerance for the reality of patience, and if people don’t receive results quickly, impatience gets the best of them. That’s when we see the worst side of human behavior. We see attitudes that our Heavenly Father commands us not to have, the ones where we try to rush people and circumstances to give us what we want. Many of us make the mistake of trying to bring these ‘in a rush’ attitudes and behaviors into our prayers and expectations regarding marriage. We want results from Heavenly Father on the double, and we want to know exactly what we can do to speed things along.

Philippians 4:6(NLT) tell us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” This verse conveys the action steps of believing and trusting God in a way that pleases Him. We’re not to worry, and many of us view this one as a tall order. With some of us, we are more committed to worrying than we are in having faith. A brother or sister in Christ can encourage us until the cows come home, but our minds are fixed on what we perceive as reality, and we will not allow ourselves to be encouraged in the strength and power of God. Instead, we worry about the things we’ve prayed to receive. We become increasingly anxious because we understand that the timing of the results isn’t under our control. Timing is a matter of waiting on God. It’s a crucial aspect of patience, and patience is a fruit our Heavenly Father requires us to produce.

Philippians 4:6 also tells us to pray about everything and tell God what we need. This part we’ve got on lock. We know how to pray and ask God for what we want, but the wait is the part that triggers all kinds of emotions and doubts. The wait is the part that trips us up. We’re begging the Father to tell us what we can do to take the fruition of our status-change off the waiting list. Well, He hasn’t kept this a secret from us, but it’s possible we haven’t been paying attention.

Examine yourself
There’s no doubt about it, God has already told us what to do in His Word, but sometimes we need a refresher course of the basics of faith. James 2:26(NLT) tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Faith is inactive without doing the Christ-like things that make it lively. We kinda forget this as we’re trying to amp up our believing.

2Corinthians 13:5-6 The Message (MSG) challenges us, “Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it.” The rubber meets the road in this verse. The one thing that we do not want our Heavenly Father to tell us on judgment day is that we were too arrogant to test ourselves. We don’t want to hear Him say that we were coasting along, stuck in our own patterns and conditions, and we refused to learn more and do more for His Kingdom.

Too focused on the wrong groom
The marketplace is flooded with accurate teachings on God’s Word. We can research any subject covered in the Bible online and sharpen ourselves in the Word to such a degree that we could be leaps and bounds ahead of where we are. Many of us don’t do this. We’re missing the very Word that will profoundly connect us to our purpose. Yet we’re expecting God to bypass the fact that we refuse to take the test. We want Him to overlook the reality that we haven’t done anything about the test we keep failing.

Whether it’s our past or our present, some of us are so focused on a mortal man to bring us to the precipice of joy that the bliss over the return of the True Bridegroom is nowhere in our hearts. We have allowed our desire for marriage to get us caught up in the flesh. Even today, while we are praying and asking the Father to position us to meet the right man, our pasts echo the times that we compromised our love and allegiance for Christ with the wrong man repeatedly and never truly repented for it. This is not just about physical intimacy, but the many other ways we compromised as well. In past relationships, we did everything possible to spend quality time with the man but did nothing to spend quality time with Jesus. We took time off work sometimes to enjoy a day canoodling with the man but won’t read the Bible every day. Things like this reveal our heart towards God, and we can’t afford to dismiss it.

In so many instances, we’ve chosen the man over Jesus Christ, our beloved Bridegroom. Understand, it’s that one compromise against Christ—the One who rescued us from darkness, delivered us from evil, and brought us to new life—that puts us in the same category as Eve. For many women, this rebellion against Godliness is in their hearts today, and it is the thing that keeps the blessing of a husband at bay. In Colossians 1:13-14(NLT), God tells us, “13 For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, 14 who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” Philippians 2:9-11(NLT) says that God has elevated Jesus Christ to the place of highest honor and “gave him the name above all other names, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Jesus Christ is our King! And we have not always behaved as if we know this. We must repent from our past behavior of not honoring him with our whole hearts and whole minds. Many of us chose to bow to the wrong man in the past, a man that was not the one God ordained. So, rather than bringing a mentality of impatience to the forefront or trying to rush a prayer through, we need to take care of a little housecleaning. We must make sure that this behavior of compromising our love for Jesus Christ is completely out of hearts. When it is, our Bridegroom, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will find us with hearts that are ready to greet him when he returns. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“We Can’t Rush God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 25, 2024
The Mountain Called ‘Being Single’

Matthew 17:20(NLT)
“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

In front of her friends, Ruby puts on a very confident face, insisting that her faith is fully persuaded when it comes to marriage. She’s forever claiming and confessing it whenever the subject comes up, but the reality is that she hides her frustration and sadness about the wait from others. She wants her friends to think she has the faith to move that mountain called ‘being single’, but her circumstances paint a different outcome, and she feels hopeless. Ruby really doesn’t believe the words and confessions she’s speaking. For the last seven years she’s been talking about her wedding plans, but the truth is that her hopes are slowly slipping away. God doesn’t want this to happen for her, and He doesn’t want it to happen to any of us either.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It is a totally persuaded and sold-out trust in God. One of the mistakes that we often make is to have more faith in the desire and reality of marriage than we do in the Giver of all good and perfect gifts. This was Ruby’s mindset. The possibility of marriage excites us all to no end, but we are nowhere near as excited about our Heavenly Father and all that He is.

God is in control. That is a truth that none of us can fail to understand. Whether we’re married, dating, or single, faith is the confidence in knowing that God is in control. You are not in the driver’s seat of things, God is. Life will continually teach us this lesson. God requires us to rest in Him completely, without worry, fear, or anxiety. The level of faith to simply trust God for our lives translates to intimacy in our relationship with Him. Growing in Christ and knowing God through His Word is way beyond enough to keep us enthusiastic about our all-powerful, all-knowing Creator. Again, this enthusiasm should not be based on what we’re expecting to receive from Him, it should be anchored in the reality of who God is.

Jesus Christ declared in Matthew 17:20 that we only need faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain. By this, he is giving us an indication of how powerful faith is. A little bit of it will yield seismic results. So, when we digest this truth, we can’t help but question the strength of our own faith. For many of us, our believing and faith has not yet produced the results we seek. So, we come away feeling disappointed and insecure that the faith we’ve held has not yet been enough to move the mountain we call ‘single’. We wonder if it will ever be, and we become so dissatisfied that we don’t want to try anymore. We shouldn’t focus on that but focus on God.

In the Old Testament, the man, Job, had endured tremendous tribulation, and he wanted to have a conversation with God about a few things. In Job 42:2(NLT), he said to God, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” This is another piece of knowledge about our Heavenly Father that ought to be deeply imbedded in our minds and hearts. Whether it is marriage or any other thing we desire in life, God’s purpose will never be prevented. Our temper tantrums, dissatisfaction, and upsets about the wait isn’t going to do us any good. God is the One with the plan for our lives, and rather than getting depressed about the mountain not budging, we need to be about building our faith in the omnipotence, love, and goodness of our God.

Hebrews 11:6(NIV) says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” This verse is not referring to faith in the blessings we desire. It’s talking about the kind of faith in God that increases the intimacy in our relationship with Him. Our relationship with God is built on trusting Him, regardless of our conditions and circumstances. It’s not about us getting what we want, it’s about giving God all that we are.

It’s impossible to please our Heavenly Father without the level of faith in Him that builds intimacy. Because we haven’t exhibited it in the past, but instead have been solely focused on marriage, we haven’t pleased God to the extent that He deserves. Every believer must make a shift in their minds and hearts, so that life becomes solely about God and our relationship with Him. The closeness we share with our Creator is what pleases Him, and when this is our great desire, the increase of faith becomes a very natural occurrence, and so does God’s rewards.

So many of us want to get married because we can’t wait to give our hearts to the man. When we meet him, guaranteed, we’re going to place our confidence in him without much effort at all. We want this so much because we desire deep connection and intimacy in the relationship with our future spouse. However, many of us haven’t surrendered ourselves to God to a level that exceeds what we’re so willing to surrender to someone else. We haven’t engaged the intimacy that God requires, but we are very willing to give it to a mere mortal.

In all those seven years, Ruby didn’t realize that God was calling her to get closer to Him, to stay in His face by staying in His Word. She overlooked James 2:17-18(NLT), when he said, “17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” We don’t have to tell God how to bless us. It’s always a matter of backing our faith by demonstrating the deeds and actions that honor Him. God’s plan for your life was finished before He laid the foundations of the world. You already have the mustard seed of faith. Let your deeds and commitment to God match it, and watch the mountain move out of your way. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.

“The Mountain Called ‘Being Single’”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 18, 2024
A Great Relationship Done God’s Way

2Corinthians 6:14(ESV)
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

God tells us not to bond ourselves together with those that do not believe in Him through the Lord Jesus Christ. This means we shouldn’t emotionally invest in an individual that doesn’t want to be saved by the blood of the Lamb. After being around a person a short while, we have a pretty good idea about whether they love Jesus. When it comes to significant relationships with men, we can tell if the man has the compassion and love of Christ. In our modern times, living by 2Corinthians 6:14 has been a very challenging practice for single believers. The problem is that even when we know the man isn’t interested in loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ, many of us still allow him into our hearts.

The term, “unequally yoked”, that is used in 2Corinthians 6:14 was very easily understood in biblical days. Many terms like this were used to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ for that very reason. Like some of the other phases in the Bible, “unequally yoked” is one that farmers used. It describes the ineffective practice of yoking a strong oxen or farm animal with a weaker one. A yoke was a frame usually placed around the heads or necks of two animals to join them together for farm work. If they were not equal in strength, the weaker one would usually prevent the completion of the task.

People living during the periods written about in the Bible didn’t have the luxury of grocery stores and markets. Farming was not only a way of life, but it was survival for them. Unequally yoked meant delays they couldn’t afford. So, when 2Corinthians 6:14 was taught to them centuries ago, they understood the risk of being unequally yoked, and knew it was something to avoid. As it relates to people and relationships, those of us living today are not grasping just how detrimental an unequal yoke is.

You may ask yourself, “Is being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love the Lord such a bad thing?” God says it is. He emphasizes the point that light cannot have a partnership with darkness, and righteousness cannot fellowship with unrighteousness. Some of us have learned the hard way that attempting to partner with darkness is extremely damaging to our lives.

When Jesus Christ was in the wilderness being tested by satan, he responded to one of the temptations in Matthew 4:7(NKJV). He said, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’” Yet, many born-again believers will fall for an unequally yoked temptation and try to test God by engaging in it. We know what He says in His Word, yet we place our spiritual lives in jeopardy because our desire to partner is greater than our desire to follow God’s Word.

In an unequally yoked significant relationship, the one that lacks the love of God in their heart will pull the other one down. This compromise that we make with our faith is never worth it. We have to ask ourselves what’s at the bottom of our decision to take this risk. Is it that we’re tired of waiting and don’t think another man will approach us? Could it be that we haven’t surrendered this aspect of our lives to the wisdom and guidance of God, or is it that we really don’t believe that God will bless us with the one that He will send? Whatever the case may be, there are far too many of God’s children suffering from the consequence of this bad decision. We can avoid it, and we should.

Regarding the inheritance and authority of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, God tells us in Ephesians 1:22(ESV) that He has “put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church.” This means that our entire lives are under the feet of Jesus Christ. The person we will date and marry is under his feet as well, and God expects us to live as though we know this. Jesus Christ is Lord! He’s Lord in every way. It’s his authority and power that should govern us and the choices we make. We can’t separate dating from Godliness. Our Heavenly Father means for us to do relationships His way, because this is the way to unity, peace, longevity, and real love. Don’t think that you can overstep God’s Word and have good results. Yield to Him, so that you’ll have a great relationship that is done His way.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“A Great Relationship Done God’s Way”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 11, 2024
Unlimited Capacity to Love

2Corinthians 4:9(NLT)
“We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”

This verse is a tremendous source of comfort for any person that is in a relationship or seeking one. All of us know individuals that have gotten knocked down emotionally by someone they loved. Many of have some personal experience with this. The man we loved abandoned us, left us bewildered and injured by heartache, with no meaningful explanation. This man simply couldn’t wrap his head and heart around the blessing that we represented. He missed out, and it’s not our fault, but knowing about his negligence doesn’t do much to ease the pain. When this hurt is still fresh, we can’t imagine getting over losing the person that we loved so much, but eventually we do. Once the Lord has healed our broken heart, we say to ourselves, “I don’t want to go through anything like that ever again in my life.” That’s a common response, but we must allow for the possibility that although that’s our proclamation, it doesn’t always stick.

Romans 5:1-5(NASB20) says, “1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we also have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we celebrate in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only [this,] but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Celebrating in the middle of tribulation is a spiritual practice that most of us have a challenging time grasping. God knows our frame, and in this passage, He tells us exactly why we can celebrate in tribulations. It’s because tribulations breed perseverance in our lives. Perseverance and endurance are required for God’s children, and through our life experience, God is teaching us to develop the same character and qualities as Jesus Christ. It’s our choice to make these changes. God will not force us.

If we have given our lives to Christ, then we must go to God’s Word, which tells us His expectations for our behavior, thoughts, and actions. 3John 1:11(NLT) says, “Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God.” Keeping this in mind, Ephesians 5:1(NLT) instructs, “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.” Imitating God is the goal of our existences. This is why perseverance and endurance are required for God’s children. He perseveres, and therefore, we must too. It’s not something any of us can negotiate a take it or leave it deal. We must have it because it proves our character as one belonging to God. Endurance and perseverance are the stickability that causes us to remain grounded in faith no matter what comes our way.

Sometimes, we fall for the wrong guy. That’s just the truth of it. Maybe we didn’t invite God into our choices. Maybe we leaped before checking in with Him, and maybe we jumped in heart first even after we heard from Him. Whatever the case, we must endure and do so with faith in our hearts. No matter who you are, if you’ve ever truly loved a person, you made yourself vulnerable to them. They may not have handled your heart with the care that God requires, and it led to you experiencing pain, but after the swelling goes down, you’re still here. This lets you know that through Jesus Christ, you’re much stronger than you thought you were.

1Corinthians 13:7(NLT) tells us, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Verse 8 tells us that love cannot fail but will last forever. This is who God is and it is who we are too because of our union with Christ. So, one of the lessons we must learn from our broken hearts is that love does not fail, even if we do. Because of the love of Christ, we have an unlimited capacity to love. We can fall and get back up again, even if it means we must be vulnerable. We can never allow one person to turn us sour on love. Instead, we must endure, learn from our mistakes, and celebrate the hope we have in Christ, because it will never disappoint us.■

New American Standard Bible (NASB)
New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Unlimited Capacity to Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 4, 2024
A Great Relationship Done God’s Way

2Corinthians 6:14(ESV)
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

God tells us not to bond ourselves together with those that do not believe in Him through the Lord Jesus Christ. This means we shouldn’t emotionally invest in an individual that doesn’t want to be saved by the blood of the Lamb. After being around a person a short while, we have a pretty good idea about whether they love Jesus. When it comes to significant relationships with men, we can tell if the man has the compassion and love of Christ. In our modern times, living by 2Corinthians 6:14 has been a very challenging practice for single believers. The problem is that even when we know the man isn’t interested in loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ, many of us still allow him into our hearts.

The term, “unequally yoked”, that is used in 2Corinthians 6:14 was very easily understood in biblical days. Many terms like this were used to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ for that very reason. Like some of the other phases in the Bible, “unequally yoked” is one that farmers used. It describes the ineffective practice of yoking a strong oxen or farm animal with a weaker one. A yoke was a frame usually placed around the heads or necks of two animals to join them together for farm work. If they were not equal in strength, the weaker one would usually prevent the completion of the task.

People living during the periods written about in the Bible didn’t have the luxury of grocery stores and markets. Farming was not only a way of life, but it was survival for them. Unequally yoked meant delays they couldn’t afford. So, when 2Corinthians 6:14 was taught to them centuries ago, they understood the risk of being unequally yoked, and knew it was something to avoid. As it relates to people and relationships, those of us living today are not grasping just how detrimental an unequal yoke is.

You may ask yourself, “Is being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love the Lord such a bad thing?” God says it is. He emphasizes the point that light cannot have a partnership with darkness, and righteousness cannot fellowship with unrighteousness. Some of us have learned the hard way that attempting to partner with darkness is extremely damaging to our lives.

When Jesus Christ was in the wilderness being tested by satan, he responded to one of the temptations in Matthew 4:7(NKJV). He said, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’” Yet, many born-again believers will fall for an unequally yoked temptation and try to test God by engaging in it. We know what He says in His Word, yet we place our spiritual lives in jeopardy because our desire to partner is greater than our desire to follow God’s Word.

In an unequally yoked significant relationship, the one that lacks the love of God in their heart will pull the other one down. This compromise that we make with our faith is never worth it. We have to ask ourselves what’s at the bottom of our decision to take this risk. Is it that we’re tired of waiting and don’t think another man will approach us? Could it be that we haven’t surrendered this aspect of our lives to the wisdom and guidance of God, or is it that we really don’t believe that God will bless us with the one that He will send? Whatever the case may be, there are far too many of God’s children suffering from the consequence of this bad decision. We can avoid it, and we should.

Regarding the inheritance and authority of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, God tells us in Ephesians 1:22(ESV) that He has “put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church.” This means that our entire lives are under the feet of Jesus Christ. The person we will date and marry is under his feet as well, and God expects us to live as though we know this. Jesus Christ is Lord! He’s Lord in every way. It’s his authority and power that should govern us and the choices we make. We can’t separate dating from Godliness. Our Heavenly Father means for us to do relationships His way, because this is the way to unity, peace, longevity, and real love. Don’t think that you can overstep God’s Word and have good results. Yield to Him, so that you’ll have a great relationship that is done His way.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Great Relationship Done God’s Way”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 28, 2024
It’s A Done Deal in Heaven

Matthew 16:19(NLT)
“And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

In Matthew 6, Jesus Christ gave the disciples a template for prayer. He told them in Matthew 6:10(NIV) to pray to God that “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This instruction is extremely important to our understanding of God’s desire and plan for the earth. We are to pray that God’s Will is done here the same way it is carried out in heaven. In heaven, everyone has absolute faith in God, and this is the way He wants those of us living in the earth to be as well. He wants us to understand that He has a wonderful plan for our lives, and this plan will come to pass if we continue to trust Him and never lose faith in His Will.

Digesting the truths revealed in this prayer from our Lord and Savior is crucial for the single person that desires to be married. Some of us have sliced marriage out of the reality of God’s Will. We’ve placed in a category that is of lesser importance to Him, and this impedes our ability to back our faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Faith does not come by hearing the word of anything else. Faith responds to God’s truth, so if we are not rightly believing the truth of God’s Word, we are denying ourselves the privilege of seeing the manifestation of our faith.

Marriage is the first institution God established for the relationship between a man and woman living in the earth. It’s an institution that belongs to God and is therefore used for His purpose. Those who do not believe in God’s truth and honor Him with their lives haven’t understood this. They walk down the aisle and ask for His blessing, but really don’t understand what they’re asking or doing. The level of disrespect for God’s Will for the institution of marriage is pervasive, so much so that is now challenging for those seeking marriage to step into it.

A man recently said to me, “My mother was never married, and I didn’t see many married couples in my neighborhood. Honestly, I grew up thinking you could just have girlfriends for the rest of your life.” This may not be articulated by many men, but the attitude matches the way many of them think about women and about marriage. God’s Will is for marriage to be life-commitment on which the birth and rearing of children that love God would rest. Most of us don’t have a hard time accepting that children are to be loved a lifetime, but modern society is trying to devalue the truth of God’s Will for husbands and wives to love each other by the same terms of depth and longevity.

Jesus Christ taught us in Matthew 16:19 that he’s given us the keys to God’s Kingdom. If we have a mindset and attitude that puts marriage outside the boundaries of a commitment to God to love someone in the same way that Jesus Christ loves us, we will not have the faith to receive it. Believing the wrong information causes us to act on it and acting on it will bind in the earth the very thing we don’t want. Many of us are doing this. We’re keeping marriage out of the picture for our lives because we’re not believing the truth about it. Instead of refusing to be taught about God’s plan for marriage, we need to seek God, stay in His presence, and permit His Will to be done in our lives by remaining committed to it.

Marriage is a done deal in heaven. That’s where it originated from. God knows His plans for it, and He knows how it should fit in your life. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” He’s not making up things as we go along. The plan for our marriages were made long before we arrived on the scene. God is the One who sees to this and His purpose will override any plans we make. It’s a done deal in heaven, so make God and His Will your primary focus. He’ll take care of rewarding you with marriage when you’re spiritually prepared and have His love firmly anchored in your heart. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“It’s A Done Deal in Heaven”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 21, 2024
A Heart Consumed with the Love of Christ

“One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. 37 When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. 38 Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.”
Luke 7:36-38(NLT)

God has given us many gifts and blessings, but the one thing He hasn’t given any of us is the ability to see into another person’s heart. Only He can do that. The only way that you and I can know an individual’s heart is if he or she reveals it to us. Often, they do so at the most unassuming times. We can see who a person is at their very cores by their actions. Intentionally cutting someone off while driving, taking a parking space that someone was waiting on, hurting the feelings of others by refusing to filter out negativity; these are just a few actions that tell us that the love of God isn’t deeply rooted in a person’s heart. Our true character is the core of who we are, and just like the sinful woman that kissed Jesus’ feet, it will always be exposed.

The woman in this record in Luke 7 was referred to as sinful because of how she chose to make a living. She was believed to be a prostitute and according to Simon, the Pharisee host that day, she had many sins. The Pharisees were vehemently against the teachings of Jesus, so this was not a friendly dinner that he attended, and Simon was a rather rude host. The culture at the time this record was written was such that hospitality was extremely important. There were gestures and practices of etiquette that were always observed, but Simon didn’t honor Jesus according to the usual customs. The woman, however, did. She honored Christ in a way that changed her life.

When she found out that Jesus was at the Pharisee’s house, she didn’t care what others thought of her. She needed to see him, and she put her love for Jesus on full display. She washed his feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, kissed his feet continually and anointed them with ointment. Jesus Christ knew of her past sin, and in normal circumstances, had he been another prophet, she would not have been allowed to touch him. Our beloved Lord and Savior, the Son of the Living God, showed her and us that he is touchable. He forgave her sins that day because he saw her heart.

Simon thought Jesus Christ had done the wrong thing by this woman, but Jesus Christ set him straight. Luke 7:44-47(NLT) says, “44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

Like the woman in this record, all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Every person that Jesus Christ met during his sojourn on earth was a sinner, and he came to deliver us all from the bondage of darkness. As single women, we must recognize that God is looking at our hearts. He’s looking to see if we have the kind of heart that will honor Christ over a man and the man’s desire for sexual sin outside of marriage. Will we put Christ first is always the question, and our actions to do so will always reveal the answer.

God commands us in Colossians 2:7(NLT), “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” Our roots are our cores, and to be anchored in Christ is to let our roots grow down into him, so that every aspect of our being is saturated in his love. It is to be committed to God’s Word and to be unmovable on it, no matter who comes into our lives.

Our Heavenly Father desires us to live according to His standard, and He looks at our hearts, because they tell the true story about how genuine our love for Him really is. 1Corinthians 4:20 tells us that the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk, it’s power! It’s everything to us, and we must live in a way that conveys we believe and honor this. Jesus Christ said in John 14:21(NLT), “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them.” Let’s remember this always. If we live by it, we can be confident that when God looks our hearts, He’ll see them consumed with the love of Christ, and this means they are open to receive all that He has in store. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Heart Consumed with the Love of Christ”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 14, 2024
Agree to Walk Together

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV)
“9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

The passage in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 is so plain and simple to understand, and it’s because that’s how God intended relationships to be. They are not meant to be nearly as complicated as we make them. Through King Solomon, God makes known His wisdom regarding unity and working together. It’s very important to the foundation of a marriage that two people are there for each other, that they have each other’s back, and will lift one another up when life gets hard.

Amos 3:3(KJV) asks a question and the answer to it is crucial for the unity of a marriage. It asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” The answer is simple and poignant. Two people can’t walk together through life unless there is agreement between them. If they can’t mutually agree to be dedicated to their union, one will walk in one direction, and the other will go the opposite route. So, this decision to come together and be committed to God in a marriage is an extremely important one. It is both incredibly fulfilling for the couple and very meaningful to their relationship with God.

Relationships mean a lot to Heavenly Father because people mean the most to Him. He wanted a family to love, so why wouldn’t He want His sons and daughters to experience this deep love in an intimate way. He wants a husband and wife to stand back to back, armed with the sword of the Spirit and poised to protect their union with the spiritual weaponry God has provided. Once we decide that we desire marriage, we should begin that very moment to spiritually prepare for it. We should understand what’s at stake and recognize that if we leave an opening in the marriage, the enemy will maximize that opportunity.

God tells us in 1Peter 5:8(ESV), “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes. He wouldn’t warn us in this verse to be focused and watchful if we didn’t need to be. Before you give a man the kind of access to your life that a serious relationship requires, God wants you to be strengthened in His Word. He wants your eyes and ears to be tuned into Him and His direction, and He wants you to be full of Holy Spirit power. Several years ago, dating didn’t require as much vigilance and scrutiny, but today it does, and God wants you to be equipped with wisdom, discipline, and spiritual maturity. You need to make good choices and have sound judgment, because this is what prepares you for marriage.

As a single person, you need to be aware of yourself in ways that you’ve never thought about. We don’t realize how much of the world’s messages we’ve absorbed about relationships and marriage until we’re confronted with our lack of faith to hold one together. Some of us have never set boundaries for a relationship that help us stick to the Word in certain areas. In our pasts, we’ve crossed lines, said things and done things that were disrespectful to the man’s manhood and injurious to his relationship with God. We caused him to sin or participated in it with him. This is costly. We were not as committed to God as we should have been, and therefore, the relationship didn’t have the fuel needed for the long haul. It’s time to make a shift.

When we disrespect the significant man in our lives, we have to get that back, because we reap what we sow. And when it comes back to us, it can be so bad that the rift severs the relationship. Then, we’re bewildered because we haven’t shown the accountability for our actions that a successful relationship must have.

The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 4:1-3(NLT), “1 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” This is God’s commandment, and He created us to bring Him glory with our lives and with our marriages. He never intended relationships to be a burden, nor should they be our everything. Through our unions, we’re to delight in Christ together. We’re to complement each other, not complicate each other’s lives.

Walking in agreement as a married couple is a tremendous blessing because God designed it that way, but we must be ready, and full of God’s power and Word. We have way too many flaws, insecurities, and doubts to ever navigate relationships on our own. Let God’s Word be the instruction for your life and let the Lord Jesus Christ guide you to have the kind of relationship that pleases our Heavenly Father and you too. Do all that you can to be in agreement with God, and pray and ask Him to guide you so that you will know how to be in agreement with your future spouse.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Agree to Walk Together”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 7, 2024