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Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

The Mountain Called ‘Being Single’

Matthew 17:20(NLT)
“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

In front of her friends, Ruby puts on a very confident face, insisting that her faith is fully persuaded when it comes to marriage. She’s forever claiming and confessing it whenever the subject comes up, but the reality is that she hides her frustration and sadness about the wait from others. She wants her friends to think she has the faith to move that mountain called ‘being single’, but her circumstances paint a different outcome, and she feels hopeless. Ruby really doesn’t believe the words and confessions she’s speaking. For the last seven years she’s been talking about her wedding plans, but the truth is that her hopes are slowly slipping away. God doesn’t want this to happen for her, and He doesn’t want it to happen to any of us either.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It is a totally persuaded and sold-out trust in God. One of the mistakes that we often make is to have more faith in the desire and reality of marriage than we do in the Giver of all good and perfect gifts. This was Ruby’s mindset. The possibility of marriage excites us all to no end, but we are nowhere near as excited about our Heavenly Father and all that He is.

God is in control. That is a truth that none of us can fail to understand. Whether we’re married, dating, or single, faith is the confidence in knowing that God is in control. You are not in the driver’s seat of things, God is. Life will continually teach us this lesson. God calls us to rest in Him completely and to bring our worry, fear, and anxiety to Him rather than allowing those things to govern our lives. Learning to trust God with our lives deepens the intimacy we share with Him. Growing in Christ and knowing God through His Word is way beyond enough to keep us enthusiastic about our all-powerful, all-knowing Creator. Again, this enthusiasm should not be based on what we’re expecting to receive from Him, it should be anchored in the reality of who God is.

Jesus Christ declared in Matthew 17:20 that we only need faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain. By this, he is giving us an indication of how powerful faith is. A little bit of it will yield seismic results. So, when we digest this truth, we can’t help but question the strength of our own faith. For many of us, our believing and faith has not yet produced the results we seek. So, we come away feeling disappointed and insecure that the faith we’ve held has not yet been enough to move the mountain we call ‘single’. We wonder if it will ever be, and we become so dissatisfied that we don’t want to try anymore. We shouldn’t focus on that but focus on God.

In the Old Testament, the man, Job, had endured tremendous tribulation, and he wanted to have a conversation with God about a few things. In Job 42:2(NLT), he said to God, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” This is another piece of knowledge about our Heavenly Father that ought to be deeply imbedded in our minds and hearts. Whether it is marriage or any other thing we desire in life, God’s purpose will never be prevented. Our temper tantrums, dissatisfaction, and upsets about the wait isn’t going to do us any good. God is the One with the plan for our lives, and rather than getting depressed about the mountain not budging, we need to be about building our faith in the omnipotence, love, and goodness of our God.

Hebrews 11:6(NIV) says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” This verse is not referring to faith in the blessings we desire. It’s talking about the kind of faith in God that increases the intimacy in our relationship with Him. Our relationship with God is built on trusting Him, regardless of our conditions and circumstances. It’s not about us getting what we want, it’s about giving God all that we are.

It’s impossible to please our Heavenly Father without faith in Him, and this is where some of us need to examine our hearts. If our attention has become so fixed on marriage that our confidence in God rises and falls according to whether He gives us what we want, something needs to shift. Every believer must make this shift in the mind and heart, so that our lives become centered on God and our relationship with Him. The closeness we share with our Creator is what pleases Him, and when this is our great desire, the increase of faith becomes a very natural occurrence, and so does God’s rewards.

So many of us want to get married because we can’t wait to give our hearts to the man. When we meet him, guaranteed, we’re going to place our confidence in him without much effort at all. We want this so much because we desire deep connection and intimacy in the relationship with our future spouse. However, many of us haven’t surrendered ourselves to God to a level that exceeds what we’re so willing to surrender to someone else. We can become so eager for intimacy with another person that we fail to pursue the far greater intimacy God desires to have with us.

In all those seven years, Ruby didn’t realize that God was calling her to get closer to Him, to stay in His face by staying in His Word. She overlooked James 2:17-18(NLT), when he said, “17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” You already have the mustard seed of faith, so let your deeds and commitment to God reflect the trust you say you have in Him. And maybe the first mountain that needs to move isn’t singleness at all. Maybe it’s the belief that your life can’t be full, joyful, and deeply satisfying unless your circumstances change. Put your faith in God rather than a particular outcome, and trust Him with the mountain—whatever He chooses to do with it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.

“The Mountain Called ‘Being Single’”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 13, 2023
A Great Relationship Done God’s Way

2Corinthians 6:14(ESV)
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

God tells us not to bond ourselves together with those that do not believe in Him through the Lord Jesus Christ. This means we shouldn’t emotionally invest in an individual that doesn’t want to be saved by the blood of the Lamb. After being around a person a short while, we have a pretty good idea about whether they love Jesus. When it comes to significant relationships with men, we can tell if the man has the compassion and love of Christ. In our modern times, living by 2Corinthians 6:14 has been a very challenging practice for single believers. The problem is that even when we know the man isn’t interested in loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ, many of us still allow him into our hearts.

The term, “unequally yoked”, that is used in 2Corinthians 6:14 was very easily understood in biblical days. Many terms like this were used to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ for that very reason. Like some of the other phases in the Bible, “unequally yoked” is one that farmers used. It describes the ineffective practice of yoking a strong oxen or farm animal with a weaker one. A yoke was a frame usually placed around the heads or necks of two animals to join them together for farm work. If they were not equal in strength, the weaker one would usually prevent the completion of the task.

People living during the periods written about in the Bible didn’t have the luxury of grocery stores and markets. Farming was not only a way of life, but it was survival for them. Unequally yoked meant delays they couldn’t afford. So, when 2Corinthians 6:14 was taught to them centuries ago, they understood the risk of being unequally yoked, and knew it was something to avoid. As it relates to people and relationships, those of us living today are not grasping just how detrimental an unequal yoke is.

You may ask yourself, “Is being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love the Lord such a bad thing?” God says it is. He emphasizes the point that light cannot have a partnership with darkness, and righteousness cannot fellowship with unrighteousness. Some of us have learned the hard way that attempting to partner with darkness is extremely damaging to our lives.

When Jesus Christ was in the wilderness being tested by satan, he responded to one of the temptations in Matthew 4:7(NKJV). He said, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’” Yet, many born-again believers will fall for an unequally yoked temptation and try to test God by engaging in it. We know what He says in His Word, yet we place our spiritual lives in jeopardy because our desire to partner is greater than our desire to follow God’s Word.

In an unequally yoked significant relationship, the one that lacks the love of God in their heart will pull the other one down. This compromise that we make with our faith is never worth it. We have to ask ourselves what’s at the bottom of our decision to take this risk. Is it that we’re tired of waiting and don’t think another man will approach us? Could it be that we haven’t surrendered this aspect of our lives to the wisdom and guidance of God, or is it that we really don’t believe that God will bless us with the one that He will send? Whatever the case may be, there are far too many of God’s children suffering from the consequence of this bad decision. We can avoid it, and we should.

Regarding the inheritance and authority of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, God tells us in Ephesians 1:22(ESV) that He has “put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church.” This means that our entire lives are under the feet of Jesus Christ. The person we will date and marry is under his feet as well, and God expects us to live as though we know this. Jesus Christ is Lord! He’s Lord in every way. It’s his authority and power that should govern us and the choices we make. We can’t separate dating from Godliness. Our Heavenly Father means for us to do relationships His way, because this is the way to unity, peace, longevity, and real love. Don’t think that you can overstep God’s Word and have good results. Yield to Him, so that you’ll have a great relationship that is done His way.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Great Relationship Done God’s Way”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 6, 2023
It’s A Done Deal in Heaven

Matthew 16:19(NLT)
“And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

In Matthew 6, Jesus Christ gave the disciples a template for prayer. He told them in Matthew 6:10(NIV) to pray to God that “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This instruction is extremely important to our understanding of God’s desire and plan for the earth. We are to pray that God’s Will is done here the same way it is carried out in heaven. In heaven, everyone has absolute faith in God, and this is the way He wants those of us living in the earth to be as well. He wants us to understand that He has a wonderful plan for our lives, and this plan will come to pass if we continue to trust Him and never lose faith in His Will.

Digesting the truths revealed in this prayer from our Lord and Savior is crucial for the single person that desires to be married. Some of us have sliced marriage out of the reality of God’s Will. We’ve placed in a category that is of lesser importance to Him, and this impedes our ability to back our faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Faith does not come by hearing the word of anything else. Faith responds to God’s truth, so if we are not rightly believing the truth of God’s Word, we are denying ourselves the privilege of seeing the manifestation of our faith.

Marriage is the first institution God established for the relationship between a man and woman living in the earth. It’s an institution that belongs to God and is therefore used for His purpose. Those who do not believe in God’s truth and honor Him with their lives haven’t understood this. They walk down the aisle and ask for His blessing, but really don’t understand what they’re asking or doing. The level of disrespect for God’s Will for the institution of marriage is pervasive, so much so that is now challenging for those seeking marriage to step into it.

A man recently said to me, “My mother was never married, and I didn’t see many married couples in my neighborhood. Honestly, I grew up thinking you could just have girlfriends for the rest of your life.” This may not be articulated by many men, but the attitude matches the way many of them think about women and about marriage. God’s Will is for marriage to be life-commitment on which the birth and rearing of children that love God would rest. Most of us don’t have a hard time accepting that children are to be loved a lifetime, but modern society is trying to devalue the truth of God’s Will for husbands and wives to love each other by the same terms of depth and longevity.

Jesus Christ taught us in Matthew 16:19 that he’s given us the keys to God’s Kingdom. If we have a mindset and attitude that puts marriage outside the boundaries of a commitment to God to love someone in the same way that Jesus Christ loves us, we will not have the faith to receive it. Believing the wrong information causes us to act on it and acting on it will bind in the earth the very thing we don’t want. Many of us are doing this. We’re keeping marriage out of the picture for our lives because we’re not believing the truth about it. Instead of refusing to be taught about God’s plan for marriage, we need to seek God, stay in His presence, and permit His Will to be done in our lives by remaining committed to it.

Marriage is a done deal in heaven. That’s where it originated from. God knows His plans for it, and He knows how it should fit in your life. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” He’s not making up things as we go along. The plan for our marriages were made long before we arrived on the scene. God is the One who sees to this and His purpose will override any plans we make. It’s a done deal in heaven, so make God and His Will your primary focus. He’ll take care of rewarding you with marriage when you’re spiritually prepared and have His love firmly anchored in your heart. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“It’s A Done Deal in Heaven”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 30, 2023
A Heart Consumed with the Love of Christ

Luke 7:36-38(NLT)
“One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. 37 When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. 38 Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.”

God has given us many gifts and blessings, but the one thing He hasn’t given any of us is the ability to see into another person’s heart. Only He can do that. The only way that you and I can know an individual’s heart is if he or she reveals it to us. Often, they do so at the most unassuming times. We can see who a person is at their very cores by their actions. Intentionally cutting someone off while driving, taking a parking space that someone was waiting on, hurting the feelings of others by refusing to filter out negativity; these are just a few actions that tell us that the love of God isn’t deeply rooted in a person’s heart. Our true character is the core of who we are, and just like the sinful woman that kissed Jesus’ feet, it will always be exposed.

The woman in this record in Luke 7 was referred to as sinful because of how she chose to make a living. She was believed to be a prostitute and according to Simon, the Pharisee host that day, she had many sins. The Pharisees were vehemently against the teachings of Jesus, so this was not a friendly dinner that he attended, and Simon was a rather rude host. The culture at the time this record was written was such that hospitality was extremely important. There were gestures and practices of etiquette that were always observed, but Simon didn’t honor Jesus according to the usual customs. The woman, however, did. She honored Christ in a way that changed her life.

When she found out that Jesus was at the Pharisee’s house, she didn’t care what others thought of her. She needed to see him, and she put her love for Jesus on full display. She washed his feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, kissed his feet continually and anointed them with ointment. Jesus Christ knew of her past sin, and in normal circumstances, had he been another prophet, she would not have been allowed to touch him. Our beloved Lord and Savior, the Son of the Living God, showed her and us that he is touchable. He forgave her sins that day because he saw her heart.

Simon thought Jesus Christ had done the wrong thing by this woman, but Jesus Christ set him straight. Luke 7:44-47(NLT) says, “44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

Like the woman in this record, all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Every person that Jesus Christ met during his sojourn on earth was a sinner, and he came to deliver us all from the bondage of darkness. As single women, we must recognize that God is looking at our hearts. He’s looking to see if we have the kind of heart that will honor Christ over a man and the man’s desire for sexual sin outside of marriage. Will we put Christ first is always the question, and our actions to do so will always reveal the answer.

God commands us in Colossians 2:7(NLT), “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” Our roots are our cores, and to be anchored in Christ is to let our roots grow down into him, so that every aspect of our being is saturated in his love. It is to be committed to God’s Word and to be unmovable on it, no matter who comes into our lives.

Our Heavenly Father desires us to live according to His standard, and He looks at our hearts, because they tell the true story about how genuine our love for Him really is. 1Corinthians 4:20 tells us that the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk, it’s power! It’s everything to us, and we must live in a way that conveys we believe and honor this. Jesus Christ said in John 14:21(NLT), “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them.” Let’s remember this always. If we live by it, we can be confident that when God looks our hearts, He’ll see them consumed with the love of Christ, and this means they are open to receive all that He has in store. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Heart Consumed with the Love of Christ”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 23, 2023
Agree to Walk Together

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV)
“9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

The passage in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 is so plain and simple to understand, and it’s because that’s how God intended relationships to be. They are not meant to be nearly as complicated as we make them. Through King Solomon, God makes known His wisdom regarding unity and working together. It’s very important to the foundation of a marriage that two people are there for each other, that they have each other’s back, and will lift one another up when life gets hard.

Amos 3:3(KJV) asks a question and the answer to it is crucial for the unity of a marriage. It asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” The answer is simple and poignant. Two people can’t walk together through life unless there is agreement between them. If they can’t mutually agree to be dedicated to their union, one will walk in one direction, and the other will go the opposite route. So, this decision to come together and be committed to God in a marriage is an extremely important one. It is both incredibly fulfilling for the couple and very meaningful to their relationship with God.

Relationships mean a lot to Heavenly Father because people mean the most to Him. He wanted a family to love, so why wouldn’t He want His sons and daughters to experience this deep love in an intimate way. He wants a husband and wife to stand back to back, armed with the sword of the Spirit and poised to protect their union with the spiritual weaponry God has provided. Once we decide that we desire marriage, we should begin that very moment to spiritually prepare for it. We should understand what’s at stake and recognize that if we leave an opening in the marriage, the enemy will maximize that opportunity.

God tells us in 1Peter 5:8(ESV), “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes. He wouldn’t warn us in this verse to be focused and watchful if we didn’t need to be. Before you give a man the kind of access to your life that a serious relationship requires, God wants you to be strengthened in His Word. He wants your eyes and ears to be tuned into Him and His direction, and He wants you to be full of Holy Spirit power. Several years ago, dating didn’t require as much vigilance and scrutiny, but today it does, and God wants you to be equipped with wisdom, discipline, and spiritual maturity. You need to make good choices and have sound judgment, because this is what prepares you for marriage.

As a single person, you need to be aware of yourself in ways that you’ve never thought about. We don’t realize how much of the world’s messages we’ve absorbed about relationships and marriage until we’re confronted with our lack of faith to hold one together. Some of us have never set boundaries for a relationship that help us stick to the Word in certain areas. In our pasts, we’ve crossed lines, said things and done things that were disrespectful to the man’s manhood and injurious to his relationship with God. We caused him to sin or participated in it with him. This is costly. We were not as committed to God as we should have been, and therefore, the relationship didn’t have the fuel needed for the long haul. It’s time to make a shift.

When we disrespect the significant man in our lives, we have to get that back, because we reap what we sow. And when it comes back to us, it can be so bad that the rift severs the relationship. Then, we’re bewildered because we haven’t shown the accountability for our actions that a successful relationship must have.

The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 4:1-3(NLT), “1 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” This is God’s commandment, and He created us to bring Him glory with our lives and with our marriages. He never intended relationships to be a burden, nor should they be our everything. Through our unions, we’re to delight in Christ together. We’re to complement each other, not complicate each other’s lives.

Walking in agreement as a married couple is a tremendous blessing because God designed it that way, but we must be ready, and full of God’s power and Word. We have way too many flaws, insecurities, and doubts to ever navigate relationships on our own. Let God’s Word be the instruction for your life and let the Lord Jesus Christ guide you to have the kind of relationship that pleases our Heavenly Father and you too. Do all that you can to be in agreement with God, and pray and ask Him to guide you so that you will know how to be in agreement with your future spouse.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Agree to Walk Together”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 17, 2023
Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God

1Kings 11:4(NLT)
“In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been.”

When he was a child, Solomon, the son of David, was destined to be the king of Israel. It was an enormous task for someone so young, and he had the good sense as a child to ask our Heavenly Father for wisdom and understanding. 1Kings 3:9-10(NLT) tells us he prayed, “9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours? 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. 11 So God replied, “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—12 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have!”

King Solomon was the wisest and wealthiest king to ever live, but like all of us, he had his issues; he loved women. The bible tells us that he had over 700 wives. His love of women was his weakness, and ultimately, it was his downfall, even after all the glorious things that God had done for him. Solomon did what God told the men of that time not to do; he married Moabite and Hittite women. 1Kings 11: 2(NLT) says, “The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.” Solomon’s actions are like ours sometimes. God has told us how to keep ourselves in His peace and blessings, but we don’t follow what He says.

1Peter 1:14(NLT) tells us, “So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.” Before we became saved, and for some of us even after we accepted Christ, we approached relationships in a sinful way. We allowed the man to be number one in our lives and we did not prioritize our relationship with God in the number one spot. The thing that slips by many single women that are desiring marriage is the fact that the old way of approaching and operating in relationships is still in their hearts. They are carrying the old ways with them everywhere they go, even though now they know better.

Solomon witnessed the way that his father, King David, followed and loved God, but he still insisted on doing the thing that didn’t honor his relationship with our Heavenly Father. Like Solomon, some of us allow our weakness to get the best of us as well. Then, when we end up in heartbreak or worse, we refuse to connect the dots between our actions and the consequences we’re facing. Because of this, we do not learn to grow in faith and obedience and will more than likely continue making choices and decisions that bring us more pain. This isn’t what God wants for us.

Our desire for a blessed marriage that is ordained by our Heavenly Father requires that we have the kind of heart for Him that proves He is first in our lives. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” It isn’t enough to simply say we’re putting God first. He knows exactly what we’re treasuring most. He can see whether we’re truly loving Him as we should because He can see what is in our hearts. He said in Jeremiah 17:11(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”

Nothing in life can come before God. We usually think of bowing to a statute as idol worship, but it doesn’t have to be as literal as that. Idolatry is the practice of placing anything before the honor, worship, and praise we should give to our Heavenly Father. Whether it’s too much time on social media, sports, your boyfriend, dream job, or even your family; while none of these things are wrong, they can become a slippery slope if we fail to keep them in their proper place.

Rebellion is a sinful desire to operate independent of what God says. It’s not seeking Him but doing our own thing; just like the devil did when he wanted to be independent of God and not submit to His Creator anymore. Many of us become consumed and totally wrapped up in things and people, especially when it pertains to significant relationships. That’s what the devil wants. It’s one of his tricks to get us to take our eyes off God, so that we will not place God in His rightful place of authority and sovereignty. If the devil gets you to take your eyes off God, then you might begin to think that you don’t need Him or need to follow His instruction. This is what the slippery slope of a mindset and heart of rebellion will do to us.

We can’t let that happen. We desperately need the Lord, and we need to be doing the things that show Him we’re seeking and placing Him first in our lives. Even though you may not understand the Word as well as you would like, still read and study it. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher, and he lives inside us. He will help us to comprehend the Word. So, we must pray often and read God’s Word, because this is the very least we can do to show Him how important He is to our lives. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked out of your relationship with our Heavenly Father. You must place more focus, energy, and time on your relationship with Him than you do on any other person or thing. This is what shows all of heaven and everything beneath it that you are focused on God and spiritually ready for all He has in store for your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 29, 2023
The Gift God Has for You

1John 4:7-8 (NIV)
“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

When God’s love is anchored within us, we have an abundant resource to draw from. This makes all the difference in all our relationships, but especially so in our significant relationships with men. The Big Story of Life is God’s love. The introduction is that God loves us and wants to be with us. The main storyline is that He has made a way for this to happen through Jesus Christ, who is the central character and subject of life from the beginning to the end. It is important we recognize that nothing moves us forward with any great degree without beginning every action with the knowledge of God’s love and the motivation to move in, with, by, and through it.

Adam and Eve lost access to God. They showed us the tragedy that occurs when we choose something over our love for our Heavenly Father. They were disconnected from Him and His holiness when they sinned against His Word. This was catastrophic for humanity on every level, but God did not leave us in this trouble state. He had a plan of redemption long before Adam and Eve came on the scene, and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, He saved us from sin and death. God is our Redeemer, Rescuer, Refuge, and Rewarder. He laid it all on the line to save us, and He did this because He wants to be with us, and He wants us to love through Him.

Jesus Christ has given us direct access to our Heavenly Father. Jesus died for the sins of the world, and God accepted his death on the cross as a sacrifice for all our sin. Jesus was innocent, and he died the most agonizing, brutal, and horrific death in order to restore our friendship with God. Romans 5:10-11(NLT) says, “10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” This is an amazing passage! It ties together our rejoicing over our redemption to the kind of gratitude we should have in our relationship with God. This joy we should have over our friendship with God should shape and mold our days before they even begin.

The reality we’re now facing is that many single women are not living with joy, and they are not rejoicing about what it means to be friends with God. They are not intentional about their gratitude for the price God paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and in their hearts, there’s little trace of the depth, width, and breadth of love we should have for our Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ set us free from sin and shame. He died in our place, and paid the penalty required for all our wrongdoing, but many of our actions convey we lack both the enthusiasm and thankfulness for all God has done. Our prayers must shift so that this, more than any other thing, is the priority in our prayer-lives.

Through Jesus Christ, God has placed His Spirit within us. In the Old Testament, in Ezekiel 36:26(NLT), God prophesied through His prophet, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ, this is the kind of heart that we can have. By becoming born-again and accepting the gift of salvation that Christ offers, we receive God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. He will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ, and he will tell us about the future. Philippians 2:13 declares that the Spirit will work in us and give us the desire to do what pleases God.

So, we don’t have any excuses. God has made it possible for us to have the kind of heart He is looking for. He has given us the capacity to love Him in a way that delights Him, but as women, some of us are not interested in doing this. Jesus Christ is the gift that God has given to the world, and a whole life’s worth of thank-yous wouldn’t equal the gratitude we should express. We are just way too concerned with delighting in a man, and we’ve placed delighting in God in the back seat. That won’t do. We must pray that the Spirit will help us to change this.

The Spirit is the One who does all the Work, and God simply commands us to let him. We do this through prayer, meditation, and studying God’s Word. Our prayers should be more about our relationship with God than any other thing. We should desire Him so supremely that our entire being is a love song dedicated to His glory.

The gift that God has for us is received only when we acknowledge that the greatest gift we could receive has already been given. Everything we receive after salvation is a reward from honoring God with gratitude and obedience for the sacrifice of Christ. The love that was demonstrated towards us by God must be deep in our hearts. It must create a well in us that is overflowing to such a degree that our spouses are drenched in it. We must understand that we cannot be a wife ordained by God without understanding that the sacrifice Christ made is pure love. To be prepared for marriage, we must be a different kind of woman. We must understand that love indeed means sacrifice, and only then can we love our husbands with the same commitment and depth of love that Christ has for us. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Gift God Has for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 22, 2023
Trying to Get the Man to Change

Free-Will is a gift of God that we must become intimately familiar with in our significant relationships. Many women are praying that God will change a man for them, that He will overstep a man’s thought patterns and ways of behaving without the man’s consent. This will never happen. There are pieces of information that we must know so that we remain grounded in wisdom. These will keep our expectations in check when it comes to the significant relationship in our lives. The first is that God will only send you a man that knows Him. This man doesn’t have to be super knowledgeable of the Bible, and he may not be religious, but he knows the reality of God’s sovereignty and righteousness. He desires to do right because he wants to honor God and honor himself. If he doesn’t honor himself, he will not honor you. Secondly, a man must desire to change. He must see the value in it by recognizing the harm that a failure to change will cause. Lastly, a man must love you enough that if something he is doing, thinking, or feeling is causing you distress, he will choose to change.

Romans 12:2(NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” In this verse, God tells us exactly what we should not do, and exactly what we should do. We should not copy the behaviors and customs of society or the world, because those are contrary to the Word and Will of God. Instead, He directs us to allow Him to transform us, and we give Him permission to do this when we change the way we think.

God is telling us what to do here, but He will not force us to do it. He has given us free-will, and we have the great privilege to follow what He says. We decide whether we will change the way we think and receive the reward of His blessings. The choice to renew our minds to God’s truth is ours to make. Whether we choose to accept it or not, the reality is that: #1 God only sends a woman a man that respects His sovereignty and righteousness, #2 the desire to change according to what is right is a person’s free-will choice, and #3 truly loving someone will motivate a person to change. These are true for all human beings, both men and women. However, as women, we must be especially attentive to remind ourselves of these jewels of wisdom so that we do not punish ourselves continually with wrong actions, bad decisions, and false expectations.

Often, we expect an unattainable outcome in a significant relationship because our expectations are outside the boundaries of right believing. Some of us get into relationships with men that might have peripheral qualities we’re attracted to, but after some time is spent in their company, we find that they are far from being a match for our level of spiritual, emotional, and mental maturity. We may not articulate this, but when we pull back the layers, it’s the reality we must face. Even when there are many good qualities that we appreciate in the man we’re involved with; he can still have non-dominant negative behaviors that sneak out at the most irritating and inappropriate times. These are not insignificant and can ultimately ruin a relationship if we’re not walking in faith.

There’s a place in every woman
Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This agreement between two individuals that intend to commit to one another is one that is more than verbal. As it relates to marriage, it is a spiritual agreement that is made at the deepest level. Some of us are praying for the man we’re involved with to change. If after many arguments and disagreements, he does not seem to alter his behavior, we’re at our wits end. We’re not being heard, valued, and respected in the way we feel we deserve. It makes us feel helpless in the relationship because the agreement that two committed individuals should have with one another is not working both ways.

Within every woman, God has created a place at her very core, and her destiny partner is a man that will respond to that place within her. It’s a deep place that we may not be aware of and we cannot define, but we will know definitively when that place has made contact with the right man. We must trust with every fiber of our being that there is something about the right man’s manhood that will come into agreement with that place in order for us to have confidence in his fidelity, loyalty, and commitment. Many of us try to force this with the wrong man, but that is an unfruitful move on our parts. It will not yield the results we seek, and history has taught us this.

Many of us choose a man, give ourselves to him, and make future plans for marriage with him when his manhood has not connected with the very core of us. Often, this is why we are exasperated, because we are expecting something he cannot give. We lose so much stamina and momentum on this journey of life when we do this.

You must be led by God
We cannot make a man change. No words of a mere human have caused another human being to truly change. Only God and His Word can do this. He has commanded us to seek His Will in all that we do. We need to hear from Heavenly Father that His blessing is upon our relationships. We can never get ahead of God, and if we do this, we must seek the Lord’s forgiveness and ask for His help and wisdom.

It isn’t God’s Will that we are involved in relationships that are rollercoasters of ups and downs. We must be spiritually prepared for significant relationships because the wrong one can mess us up. We must be sharp in recognizing the Spirit’s directives, and we should have proven that we are humbled in total surrender and submission to his direction and guidance. If you have not made a habit pattern of walking by the Spirit, you will not perceive the warnings, information, and guidance necessary to preserve a union.

Know that he’s for you
If you are of the Lord, and the Lord is not in him, do not risk your life. Seek God with your whole heart! The man that is the one God has sent will not think it is a burden to change the things that jeopardize your relationship, because he will have confidence in the love of Christ in you. No longer will you allow yourself to be concerned with attributes and small things that irritated you in the past. This man will humble himself before God, and because of this, he will move you at your core. The Holy Spirit will testify in you that he is indeed the one that God has sent. Then you can have confidence that no matter what comes your way, the two of you will walk together in agreement as the love of God in Christ works within you both.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Trying to Get the Man to Change”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 15, 2023
Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom

You’ve been waiting for this moment for most of your adult life, and now it’s here. The man you met thirteen months ago proposed and you couldn’t be happier. Whether you’ve never been married, or you’re divorced or widowed, getting married is always going to be a life changing experience. Finally arriving at the place where you can honestly say the wait is over is a really big deal and a sigh of relief. That’s not to say things are perfect. If you’ve been dating the same person a while, you’ve probably seen a lot of things in him that you really love and a few things that could use some work. You understand that neither you or your future spouse is perfect, but you’ve agreed to be committed to one another and help each other grow. Single women who have yet to get to that point should know that there’s a profound spiritual element that causes all this to come together and move a woman from dating to marriage, and that element is God’s wisdom.

Proverbs 2:6 tells us that it is the Lord who gives wisdom, and knowledge and understanding come from His mouth. Many singles haven’t fully believed this and have sought many other sources for what can only come from God. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) that “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” A principal thing is a thing that is highest on the list of importance. This means that wisdom ranks very high in God’s Book. He wants us to obtain knowledge from His Word, and He also wants us to understand the knowledge we’ve acquired. This is what keeps us growing and flourishing in our Christian lives.

Navigate before you date
Wisdom is the principal thing that allows us to navigate dating from a position of faith even before we begin to date. We forget sometimes that we are spiritual beings with a soul having an earth experience. As spiritual beings, we are continually sending out messages through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions. We are also constantly responding to the messages that others around us send as well. God tells us in His Word that all this sending and responding better add up to His love, because if it doesn’t, we’re sending and responding to the wrong messages, and we’ll miss what He has in store. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves unable to get out of the gate when it comes to marriage. We’re not yet sending a strong and right message of God’s love.

To navigate before you date, you must have a commitment to stand on the foundation of God’s Word no matter who you meet and how much he likes you and you like him. This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s also about understanding your position and facing the reality that its up to you to help move yourself and your relationship from point A to point B. You must span that distance through your faith in God, and if you are disobeying Him, you are not walking in wisdom or faith, and He can’t bless that. If you’re planning to sin two weeks after you meet the guy, you’ve lost the treasure before it even has time to develop and grow.

Be in agreement with God’s plan
Two people that are ordained by God to walk together in life are in each other’s destinies. God has already taken care of this. They are magnetized to each other, but faith is the thing that moves them closer to one another. When they are checked-in to destiny, and they are sending and responding in a way that resonates God’s love toward one another, all things will work together for their supreme benefit. This is the way all good things come together. Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This points to an agreement that is more than physical or mental. It’s a spiritual agreement, and we cannot get to that point unless our chief concern in life is loving God through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions.

To come into agreement with God’s plan, all parts of you must be on board with His love. Romans 12:1(NLT) affirms this. It says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” God purchased us with a very high price, the price of the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He wants all of you, your spirit, soul, and body, to be presented to Him as a living sacrifice. God has a purpose for your life, and in order for it to unfold, you must be in total agreement with Him through what you do, think, feel, and say.

The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NKJV), “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;” In other words, God is going to fulfill His purpose for our lives. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. Again, our responsibility as believers is to align ourselves with His plan and purpose. When we do this, amazing things will begin to happen.

Pray to receive God’s wisdom and understanding
Dating is not the first step towards marriage, becoming spiritually prepared for it is. Your mind and heart must be sold-out for God before you think about loving, supporting, and ministering to another person’s heart and life. Proverbs 16:9(NLT) tells us, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It is irrational and illogical to think that we can line up our faith with God’s plan and purpose for our lives when we don’t even know what God’s plan and purpose of our lives is. We need to spend quality time in prayer and pray to receive revelation and guidance through His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit is the One that will guide us into all truth. You must humble yourself and surrender to God in every aspect of living, dating, and marriage.

1Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but of peace and order. He is organized beyond anything we can imagine. He knows the end at the beginning and beginning at the end. There’s nothing about anything that you and I could ever do in our lives that would surprise Him. He knows the plan He has for us, and His purpose and the mission He has set for our lives is for us to walk in His love to the greatest extent possible. God wants to look at your heart and see Christ, and that is His priority for you.

God has given us marriage to teach us how to love one another and to teach us the depth, breadth, and width of His love for us. When Jesus Christ returns, there will be no need for marriage, so we must pray and be ever so careful that we don’t get out of order and begin to think that marriage is more than what God designed it to be. Our Heavenly Father requires that we put and seek Him first in all things. No matter how long we live, no matter what we do, and no matter who we are, it will all boil down to how well we love God. This determines our spiritual preparedness to navigate dating with God’s wisdom and to take our relationship with the right person from dating to marriage ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 8, 2023
A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Imagine being friends with a man that you’re interested in, but you don’t think he’s interested in you in the same way. How do you handle this? Do you stop being in his company? Do you conclude definitively that there’s no possibility for something more? What if he meets someone else, can the two of you still remain friends? This can be very tricky and as women of faith, we must be careful and use discernment. 1Thessalonians 5:11 tells us that part of our responsibility to Christ is to build each other up. So, we should be very careful not to offend or harm our friend’s relationship with God by causing a mistake that could have been avoided.

I had a boss once that said to me that he never allows anyone to ride in his vehicle outside of his family. When I asked him why, he said it eliminates confusion and cuts down on unnecessary explaining when it pertains to the opposite sex. I completely understood his logic. It speaks to the culture and climate we’re currently living in. Taking a friendship outside its boundaries can create confusion and even more issues, especially in the workplace. When the affection is one-sided, jealousy, obsession, and anger can rear their ugly heads and put the other person in a very compromising position. These are real circumstances happening to real people.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to have fulfilling lives, and friendships add so much flavor and fulfillment to our existences. However, when it comes to relationships between men and women, we should walk in wisdom. Proverbs 3:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Platonic relationships between men and women are certainly possible, and many such relationships are common, but wisdom dictates that there must be some established boundaries that both people are committed to uphold.

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. God teaches in His word that friends should help to keep each other sharp in God’s wisdom. They should help and not hinder each other spiritually. So, it is incumbent on all of us to have motives that are pleasing to God in our friendships with men, and to guard our hearts so that we do not begin to develop romantic feelings. Some might say, “You can’t help who you love.” That’s a very romantic sentiment, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth.

God is our Creator. No other deserves our greatest level of love more than He does. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Yet, most do not love God in this way. They don’t love Him in this way because they consciously choose not to love Him. Jesus Christ gave us this commandment because the truth is that love is a choice. We choose who we will love, and we choose who we will not love. We have free-will, and we are in charge of our emotions; our emotions should not be in charge of us.

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We were not created to be emotionally out of control. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and we must have faith that we can operate in our friendships with men and women from a place of strength, Godly love, and self-control.

Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This is really key when it comes to a friendship that might lead to marriage. As a woman, you must do some self-examination to keep your intentions aligned with God’s Will. We must be clear that God sends the right person for us, and He will let us know who that person is. So, when we develop feelings for a friend, the first thing is not to pray that God will make this man return your affection. God never oversteps our free-will. He does not force us to love Him, and He will not force someone to love us.

Some friendships with men do move from the platonic stage to ultimately marriage, but we need to always hear from God on this matter. If a male friend hasn’t given you any indication that you are anything more than a friend, keep strict to those boundaries. You will be in a much better position to navigate with peace and ease if you continue to be Godly and focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father. It’s a blessing to have good platonic male friends, and to also be a blessing in those relationships by maintaining boundaries and walking by the example of Christ. Understand that you can do this if you walk in wisdom. Only want what God has for you, and have faith that what is for you, you will not miss. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Friendship that Leads to Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 1, 2023