Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there. Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 11, 2023
Our Need for Companionship

One of my co-workers is a born-again believer, and he’s 37, single, attractive, and financially secure. I was being a bit brazen one day and asked him if he ever wanted to get married. He answered, “Yes, when I find the right one.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that what most single men say?” I have no doubt that he was being sincere, but I must admit that this response and attitude of many single men still baffles me. What’s the criteria they’re holding for “the right one”? Is it based on the standards that God has set in His Word, or is it based on a physical attraction that immediately sparks a response of his flesh? Is he looking for both those things or is he blinded by a refusal to be humble and allow God to direct this area of his life?

He may not have given much thought to how he defines “the right one”, but as a woman wanting to partner, you must be keenly interested in why he thinks he hasn’t met her. We shouldn’t be under any delusions about their pickiness here. Men need companionship as much as women. They are innately aware that they need the nurturing of women to live the more than abundantly life that Jesus Christ made available. If it were available for them to have this level of living without women, Adam would never have needed Eve, but the reality is that Adam did need Eve. And men do need women. This is the Will of God.

Genesis 2:20(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God’s brilliance and the perfection of provision dictated that Adam needed a helper, and part of Adam’s responsibility would be to care for her as well. Nothing about the way God set this up has changed. In Genesis 2:24(NLT), God said “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Whether we accept it or not, this is the Will of God concerning the marriage of a man and woman, and His blessing hinges on the condition that His Word is honored and respected.

Of course, every man and woman have the free-will choice to decide the person that they will marry, but if we ask God, He will send the person that HE has ordained to be just right for us. However, the reality is that most of us don’t ask Him, and we don’t extend an invitation for Him to be Lord over this aspect of our lives. God will not interfere with our relationship decisions without an invitation from us. He will never overstep our free-will choice. We get to decide if we want and will follow His guidance. History has proven how devastating the results can be in marriage when a couple doesn’t invite God into their unions. They fail to submit to His leadership through the Lord Jesus Christ, and the results of this is catastrophic.

An excuse to be selfish
The issue is not about a man finding the right one. The issue is whether he will recognize the woman God sends. For him to recognize her, his eyes must be open. For his eyes to be open, he should be seeking the Lord about it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 11:9-10(NLT), “9 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Our Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts, and He knows exactly how to provide for us. It is necessary that we humble ourselves in honor of His perfection, brilliance, and power, and seek Him for ALL things.

Many physically mature men have never been married. They are financially stable, intelligent, affable, and have great relationships. They are perfectly able to share their lives, generosity, loyalty, and love with a woman in the Spirit of Christ, but they refuse to do this. An expanding bank balance, a satisfactory level of success, a comfortable lifestyle, and a fear that someone might jeopardize these things makes many men lock- on to selfishness with a death grip.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to His Will and to the lives of others. Sadly, many men do not view this as their responsibility to Christ. Instead of being committed to obedience and faith in God, they choose selfishness as a device to appease their insecurities about money and preserve their way of life. They use their singleness to shield themselves from the commitment of truly sharing their lives with a woman, and they often see their single status as a license to try on several women like new pairs of shoes.

This is a form of exploitation, and it is in no way Godly. As women of faith, we need to see it coming a mile away. We should not yield to it, neither should we attempt to do it ourselves. There’s a right way to find the right fit, and it is to seek God and make sure our actions are guided by Him.

An excuse to play around
1Corinthians 7:32-35(NLT) gives us wisdom for understanding God’s Will. It says, “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

The wisdom of this passage teaches us God’s standard for marital conduct. It teaches us that marriage is a gift. It’s God’s way of providing companionship but it is also a way of keeping us from sexual immorality, because that stuff just wrecks the lives of people. It takes them further away from God rather than closer to Him and His blessings. Our Heavenly Father made it clear in 1Corinthians 7:32-35 that the only acceptable reason a man would remain single is that God has ordained him for the purpose of being totally sold out to ministry. Women are just as much God’s treasures as men, and neither a man nor a woman should ever use their single status as an excuse to play around with God’s treasures.

Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the only acceptable way to love God. Well, how do we accomplish it? 1John 5:3(NLT) declares, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Our need and desire for companionship must never be above our allegiance to honor God and do what He says.

The right one for all of us is forever and always Jesus Christ. He’s the one to give us marital unity and longevity, and our commitment to honor him allows us to walk in his love, strength, and power. We have made relationships way more complicated than God ever intended. We can’t navigate this rocky terrain without His help. We desperately need His guidance, so we should never try to take things into our own hands by leaning on our own understanding. That’s not a winning strategy. 1John 5:4 tells us that every person in life will defeat the plots and tricks of evil, and we will do this, not by selfishness or a need to control, but by the victory that is achieved through our faith in God. So, if a man is truly waiting to find the right one, he should be seeking God’s guidance. Most importantly, he should never allow his single status to be a detriment to any woman’s life or to his own with relationship with God and standing in Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Our Need for Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 27, 2023
God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You

Psalm 84:11(NLT)
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

So, your boyfriend has told you that he wants to take a break, and you’re looking at him like, “Have you lost your mind?!!!” You’ve been together for two years, invested your affection, time, and resources, and he has decided that it’s not working for him. You want an explanation, right. You want to know why he allowed you to think that everything was hunky dory, and that the possibility of marriage might be somewhere down the road. You want to know why he kept taking everything you offered and never once hinted that it wasn’t enough for him or that he wasn’t happy. This man looked you in the eye and said that he needed to be out of your presence and away from your life, and he can’t even tell you exactly why.

This is hurt, frustration, anger, insecurity, and bewilderment all rolled into one. Added to this is the curiosity about what’s really going on with him. Were you duped and didn’t have a clue? Were you completely unaware of who this man really is? The questions are endless, and most of us will spend an enormous amount of time racking our brains about it. We do this because rejection knocks the wind out of our sails. It batters our self-esteem and makes us insecure about the choices and decisions we make.

When something like this occurs, we might question God and ask Him what in the world happened. We thought this man was a keeper, and we could visualize spending our lives together. We thought things were going to work out and never saw the ask for a break coming. Well, there’s a saying that we shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. The milk is on the floor, no longer drinkable, and crying will not reverse the outcome. We know this on the surface, but we’re emotional creatures. Crying over relationship issues is a common response. However, we must be confident that crying about it isn’t the only response.

We should give ourselves a short window to cry our eyes out over the relationship gone wrong, but we should also put a time limit on those tears. We most move from crying over spilled milk to formulating a plan to elevate ourselves spiritually and increase our faith.

When things don’t go right for our lives, we cry out to the Lord because we know that something is wrong. We seek Him because we’re stressed, and we don’t know how things got out of alignment. In the Old Testament, this is the situation God’s people were in when they began to cry out to Him for help. Their hearts were not with God, but they still went through the motions of worship. He was not pleased, so the release they expected didn’t materialize. God rejected their offerings and worship. He rejected their praise, and in Malachi 2:14-15(NLT), He told the men, “14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”

The lives of God’s people got away from them because they failed to guard their hearts. This is a powerful lesson for those of us living today. To guard your heart is to make sure your faith in God remains strong. Then unexpected situations of disappointment and heartache will not leave you with the emotional instability of anxiety. You will not allow the impulses of panic and obsession to make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Philippians 4:6-7(ESV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To be anxious is to be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities. Anxiety is a refusal to be at peace about situations we can’t control. It can be gut-wrenching and overwhelming, and it also shows us the areas in our lives where we are not allowing God’s love to rule. He tells us not to be anxious. This is a direct commandment. Instead, we are to pray to Him in faith, with thanksgiving.

Faith and gratitude to God is the strategy that He has given us for successful living. And the faith and gratitude that He has outlined in Philippians 4:6-7 is the appropriate response to disappointment, heartbreak, and any other adversity we face. Heavenly Father instructs us to tell Him what our needs are, and to do so with faith and gratitude in our hearts. When we do this, His peace will overcome our anxieties and comfort our hearts and minds.

Relationship mistakes and the outcomes they bring are notoriously hurtful. They can set us back in many ways, but this will not happen if we strive to increase our faith in God. We must place more effort in trusting our Heavenly Father than we do in our feelings and thoughts of abandonment and despair. The root of our heartache and disappointment is a fear that we may not ever receive the kind of relationship we desire. Our Heavenly Father allowed this fear to be exposed so that we can see it for what it is and overcome it. God will not keep a good thing from you. He will help you to grow in His love so that you recognize the blessing He sends, and most importantly, so that you continue to keep your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 14, 2023
Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!

Lately, my youngest daughter has been singing a familiar tune around the house. It’s new to her but not to me. It’s an oldie but goodie, and it encourages us not to worry about a thing, because everything is going to be alright. When I asked my daughter how she knew the song, she said her teacher sings it with them at the beginning of their class. “It gets us motivated in the mornings.” She said. Whenever her classmates feel like something isn’t working out, they sing that song to themselves. I thought to myself that if kids that young are learning how to motivate themselves to get beyond the challenges they face, as adults, we have no excuse.

There’s no question about it, life gives us a workout. It can take you to the brink of wanting to give up. Your brain is tired, your body is tired, and your emotions are teetering on breakdown. When you’re at this point, you don’t want to think about anything, and you certainly don’t want to hear that you need to change in some way. You might think, “Lord, if I hear one more person tell me there’s something about myself that needs to change or that I need to change my thoughts, I’m going to scream.” You might know at least a dozen people that have been the same folks they’ve always been. They’ve had annoying and negative qualities ever since you’ve known them. They haven’t changed one bit, yet they seem to be just as blessed as they want to be.

It might seem that God is picking on you, because life just doesn’t want to cooperate when you desperately need it to. Relationship breakups, meeting men that seem nice at first but quickly lose interest and enduring those long stretches of loneliness can take a toll on your self-esteem. You don’t believe you have it in you to keep pushing and pressing, and you don’t want to hear about one more thing you have to change in order to be someone’s wife.

Believe it or not, these are normal responses. Most people don’t like change, and they are not fans of holding themselves up to the scrutiny of higher standards. But this is unavoidable in the Christian walk, because the Christian walk is about growth, and the higher standard is set by the example of Christ. The first thing you must know is that you really can’t compare the journey that God has set for you with someone else’s spiritual journey. You might think that others are not enduring the same frustrations and challenges that you are, but that isn’t true. Life forces everyone to grow whether they want to or not. This is the way God created life to operate, and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change it, nor should we want to. Anything that doesn’t grow will die. So, if we’re not thriving in Christ, growing to be more like him every day, then we’re on the losing side.

In Romans 12:2(NIV), God tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” It isn’t God’s Word that is making us feel exhausted and disillusioned with life. It is the cares of the world that is doing this to us. Our Heavenly Father warns us not to get boggled down with that stuff. He commands us to renew our minds by changing the way we think. We will never get away from this process. You will never get to a point where you know enough about Christ. And you will never get done with having to deal with some of the discomfort of finding out things about yourself that aren’t pretty and then having to change them. God’s Will for you is to keep learning more about Jesus Christ so you can line up with his example.

Galatians 1:4 tells us that Jesus Christ gave himself for our sins in order to rescue us from this present evil age because this was the Will of our Father. God is cleaning us up because we need to be cleaned up, and we couldn’t possibly do it ourselves. He is preparing us for the treasure we’re slated to receive, and we need to let Him do this. We have to know that it’s going to require us to be flexible and agile, not stiff and hardened against what God is doing in our hearts through His Holy Spirit.

He tells us in Ephesians 4:23 to be made new in the spirit of our minds. This is a process, and it is a ‘reprogramming to God’s Word’ that will run throughout the rest of our lives. God commands us in Ephesians 5:8 to walk as children of light, and He is committed to helping us do this. Our problem is that we don’t believe God is helping us in a way that will yield a beautiful blessing. We call His glorious process of transformation a burden, yet when the world demands that we change to meet its standard, we’ll spend all types of money for a new fix. We have to change our priorities.

God tells us in Galatians 6:9(NIV), “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The reason that God encourages us not to give up is because many of us are in fact weary in doing good. We want the pleasure without the sacrifice. We must turn our weariness to excitement and faith, because our God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. If we continue to press, we will receive the treasure.

Don’t look at what others are doing or what they may or may not be going through. They are not you. They don’t have the destiny you have. Keep your eyes stayed on Jesus Christ. They can’t have your prize and you can’t have theirs. What God has for you is indeed for you. Allow Him to condition you. Lean on God and let Him show you what He will do. You may feel as though you’re at the brink of exhaustion in every way but take pleasure in the “YOU” that you are becoming. Your treasure is worth it, and so are you.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 31, 2023
God Is Waiting on You

Romans 8:29(NIV) says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Many believers underestimate God’s allegiance to this verse and some even think He will negotiate with them over it. God’s goal for everyone is to become the very image of Christ. This earth experience gives us the opportunity to line up our souls with God’s Word so that our souls will be transformed; this must be our most important mission in life. Heavenly Father blesses His kids, there can be no doubt about this. He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Christ, and He hasn’t withheld any good thing from us. Our job is to never forget that our blessings are contained in the example of Christ. He is the mold from which we are cast, and we are cloned to the image of Christ by our obedience. 2Corinthians 10:6 affirms that obedience to God is the way to demolish the darkness that seeks to tear us down. The example of Jesus Christ represents our Heavenly Father’s faith in us. It’s our ticket to happiness and all the other blessings He has in store.

We can’t do things our own way and stamp it with ‘Success!’ Life never works out when we try to rely on our own effort to bring things together. Heavenly Father tells us in Romans 8:28 that HE is the One that causes all things to work together for our good. If He is for us, who can be against us?!!! It is our Almighty and Powerful God who justified us in Christ, and nothing can separate us from His love. As a single believing woman, you may have thought about taking your quest for marriage into your own hands. You may want to rush things along because you feel that God is taking too long. That can never be. God is perfect and His timing is impeccable but rest assured that He is not withholding your blessing. He is not making you wait year after year for it. Some of us are stuck in wait-mode longer than we’d like because we’ve decided to go at our own pace when it comes to conforming to the image of Christ.

Being 100% honest, we’d have to admit that many of us spend more time on social media and dating sites than we do reading God’s Word. We want to be entertained and not instructed, and that’s a problem because in order for our faith to increase, we must hear and perceive the Word of God. Romans 10:17 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing God’s Word. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:19-20 not to lay up treasures on the earth, but to lay them up in heaven, where they can be stored. These treasures, if they are worthy, are what we’re putting away in God’s storehouse, therefore, the glory of them are on full display before Him. Our treasures are the tally sheet for how we walk in Christ and for what we are doing for the Kingdom. Our treasures represent what is in our hearts, for Jesus declared in Matthew 6:21(KJV) “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” What does God see when He looks at what you’re treasuring? What does it tell Him about your heart?

In Matthew 12:25(NLT), Jesus Christ said “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” He then went on to say that on judgment day, we must give an account of everything we’ve done on this earth. Some of our accounts are in really bad shape right now. We haven’t stored up enough treasure in heaven, we haven’t put the Kingdom of God in first place, and we haven’t made our relationship with Him our number one priority. Instead, we’ve done our own thing. We can’t lie to God. We can’t make excuses, because He sees everything we do, and He knows everything there is to know about our hearts. God is not looking at us and shaking His finger with disapproval. He’s rooting for us, saying, “Come on, daughter. Get in my Word so you can understand who you are in Christ and what you should be doing to bear fruit in his powerful name!”

Hebrews 2:1(NLT) teaches us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” We should never make this mistake; we can never forget the truth that we’ve heard, nor can we drift away from it for the sake of human companionship. As spiritually mature men and women in Christ, experience has taught us what happens when we allow ourselves to drift away from God’s Word. We lose our spiritual zeal and become distracted. The intimacy in our relationship with God weans, and if we continue down that road for too long, we begin to sabotage our blessings. The price of this is much too high to pay.

We have an adversary that would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in the victory of Christ. For this reason, we must never take our eyes off God and His love for us. Psalm 91:1(NLT) affirms, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” To live in God’s shelter and find rest in His shadow, you and I must stay close to Him through His Word. It’s our responsibility to saturate our mind and heart with His love and live in Godliness.

He’s giving us opportunity after opportunity, chance after chance, to get busy fulfilling our call. He doesn’t want us to leave this earth without making the impact we are destined to make in Christ. Romans 8:19(NLT) tells us, “For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.” We need to recognize that everything around us; relationships, people, circumstances, environments, and conditions are waiting on us to rise up and produce what Christ gave his life for us to bring forth. So, we are not really in wait-mode. God is waiting on us to rise up and take our rightful place. How can we rush the delivery of the blessing when we have refused to produce fruit? Don’t try to follow what someone else has done or is doing. Walk in the Spirit for yourself and do what God has called YOU to do, so that you bring Him glory and receive what He has for you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Is Waiting on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 26, 2023
Details of Your Destiny

Ecclesiastes 6:10-12(NLT) says, “10 Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny. 11 The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they? 12 In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?” This passage puts our destiny in Christ upfront, in full-view, and in wide-screen high definition. No matter how much we might try to alter it or bump up against it, our destiny is unmovable. God has etched it in stone, so to speak, and we have no other choice but to accept this. The truth of this passage also gives us the lens from which to view our future marriages. God would not leave such an important part of our lives to chance. The person that will walk with us through life is our destiny partner, and God has included the details of our union in His plan.

Personally, I must admit that in the past, I argued with God about the direction my life had taken, but even though I argued with Him, He did not argue with me. His Will is perfect, and I had to get on board with His plan for my life. There were many things that I didn’t understand, and to be quite frank, some things I still don’t understand. But that’s why He tells us in 2Corinthians 5:7 to walk by faith and not by sight. This means that we can’t lean on what we see with our physical eyes and make our life’s choices and decisions based on that. We must have total faith in Him and what He says in His Word, so that our choices and decisions are grounded in His truth.

God’s Word is the truth. His Word is reality. Things can seem and look to us to be very bleak, and sometimes our relationships with the significant person in our lives becomes very rocky. It can feel very much like a breakup is eminent. The person may even be interested in someone else, but faith dictates that we don’t re-act to what we see, nor should we act out or re-act according to the angst or anger we may feel.

Some of us have been single for a while and there appears to be absolutely no movement. You’ve prayed and waited and done all that you know to do. You’re ready to throw in the towel because you’re not seeing movement with your physical eyes. The truth is that you have no idea what the Father is doing. You can’t see all the things He is moving and shaking up behind the scenes. So many singles make the mistake of self-sabotage due to impatience or emotional instability, and they prolong their blessing.

King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 6:11(NLT) “The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?” In other words, so often ‘people be talking just to be talking’. We say a lot of words, but they have no weight and don’t mean anything. God is letting us know that unless we speak what He speaks, we are not speaking life. And if we don’t speak life, it’s not going to produce the results we expect or want. We must get on board with our destinies and maximize our opportunities to move ourselves forward in God’s agenda. If you’re spending more time speaking negative than you are speaking the positives of God’s promises, you’re sabotaging your own efforts.

Scripture makes it all crystal clear to us, our destiny, whatever it may be, has already been decided. This is not to minimize our free will choice, but the emphasis is on the truth that whatever decision we make, it’s all about God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Romans 8:28(KJV) takes us to school and teaches us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This verse does not mean that God structures His blessings and purpose around our decisions and choices. It means that He has designed the universe to work towards our good when we get on board with His Will.

If we want to know the details of our destiny, this is it. It is that we live according to His Will and Word so that we witness the blessings He has in store for us. Nothing good happens outside God’s Will. We can see this from the condition of the world today, but it is a totally different story indeed when we remain in His shelter. Psalm 91:1(NLT) declares, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” This is where we want to be.

King Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived, and his frustration is palpable in Ecclesiastes 6:10-12. He explored the many facets of life during his existence, looking under every rock for the meaning of life. He was looking for that “Ah Hah! Moment” and thought it could be found outside the boundaries of God’s sovereignty and magnificence. He wanted every detail of his destiny revealed so he could be definitive about his journey forward. Many of us are this way when it comes to our destiny partners. We want all the details, but like Solomon, we will find that reality is faith in God. Destiny is the moment by moment decisions we make to strengthen our relationship with Him through Christ. So, whatever your situation might be, whether you are patiently waiting for marriage or praying for the restoration of one, stay close to God. Have faith in Him! Seek Him through prayer and continual dialogue. Instead of doing what you want, get committed to doing what He wants, and the details of your destiny will beautifully unfold.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Details of Your Destiny”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 19, 2023
Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
Do You Think About God Much?

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Philippians 4:8(NLT)

In Philippians 4:8, our Heavenly Father is providing us with valuable information that will help to shape and mold our lives. He has given us insight regarding the importance of our thoughts. Our minds are the grooming place of faith, and they produce the thoughts that help us move ourselves forward and upward in the things of God. This is one of the reasons the Father commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, because when we change our thoughts, we make a shift in the supernatural. This shift begins a manifestation process that can change our lives if we keep the faith and stay the course. When it comes to crossing paths with the person that will walk with us through life, we need to immediately arrest the negative. All doubt and anxiety must be replaced with promises of God’s Word.

Think about what is true
God’s Word is true! If God says something, then it must be so. We can’t have faith and doubt at the same time. One of them has to go. Jesus Christ said in Mark 11:23(NLT), “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” What is doubt? Very simplistically, doubt is the opposite of faith in every way. It is feelings and thoughts of uncertainty and not believing the Word that God has told us. Doubt demolishes the momentum of faith and therefore, doubt will not and cannot prove the perfect Will of God.

Jesus Christ has told us the truth in Mark 11:23, and it is our choice whether or not we will believe that through faith in him, we can do incredible things. Our faith in the Lord is what causes us to be led and guided by the Holy Spirit. Faith takes us out of the driver’s seat and places Jesus Christ in his rightful place as the head of our lives. So, when we think thoughts that are true, we ought to be thinking the same thoughts that Jesus Christ has. What are those? Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NIV), “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Our Lord and Savior never did anything that did not please God. From the time he woke up in the morning until the time he laid his head down at night, he was either thinking or doing the Will of God. This is what is always on the mind of Christ. He is always thinking about ways in which he can please God. How about us?

Think righteously
The process of thinking the same thoughts, and not changing the way we think, is like watching the same movie over and over again. After we’ve seen the movie repeatedly, it is recorded and programmed in our minds. The outcome is the same every time, and it doesn’t change. The actors don’t change, the scenes don’t change, and the ending doesn’t change. So, if the movie is bad, the outcome is always going to be bad. If the movie is good, the outcome is always going to be pleasing to us. Many single women want different results, but they don’t change the movie that is playing in their heads and hearts. They keep doing the same things and hoping for different results. Life will not respond to this positively. God designed life to respond favorably to faith.

Our thoughts are like seeds, once you plant them, ultimately that seed will produce a harvest. We, you and I, strengthen the plant based on how much we think the thoughts that seeded it. Our minds are a powerful tool – so much so, that our Heavenly Father has instructed us on what exactly we need to think in order that our minds are fertile soil for faith. He tells us to think on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. This is what it means to think righteously.

To have unrighteous or non-righteous thoughts is to think repeatedly about things that are not based on the truth. Some of us make the mistake of allowing our thoughts to be dominated by our lack of companionship or lack of a significant relationship with a good man. We think about how lonely we might be if we don’t have a man by a certain time. We think about the embarrassment of showing up at events without a partner, and we think about how much we dread feelings of loneliness. But what about thoughts of the righteousness of Christ and the hope we can have to measure up to God’s standard? Does this dominate our thoughts more than those of lack and loneliness? Are we allowing our minds to be breeding ground for more of the same? What about your blessed marital union and the things you’ll do as a couple to bless the body of Christ? Some of us don’t think of our lives in this way because we don’t plan on doing much more than what we’ve done. Yet we expect to be blessed for a harvest we haven’t even planted.

Excellent and Worthy of Praise
Psalm 100:4(NLT) tells us, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” This is how we are to enter the presence of our God. Only He is deserving of our praise. He deserves all the praise, honor, and glory that we can give Him. Thinking about this is what it means to think high-level thoughts. It’s keeping our minds and hearts continually in that high place. We should come before God trusting and believing He’s taking us higher, and we should be committed to using our thoughts, words, and deeds to meet Him in the place that is deserving of His majesty. We can’t bring God down to the level of doubt and fear. Trying to do this is admitting we either don’t know who He is, or we are refusing to have faith in who He is. But when we are committed to give Him our highest praise and thankfulness, we are partnering with all that is good to please Him.

Gratitude and faith in God is the culture of heaven, and heaven is our home! It’s the place where our Father lives. We are God’s spiritual children, and we were born from His Spirit. His home is our home, and we need to represent home wherever we are. Whether it’s in the shower, in a classroom, at work, at church, at the hair or nail salon, in the grocery store, or at the dinner table. We ought to be thinking about God ALL the time, and we should be committed to having Him be pleased with our whole lives. If we continue to think like Christ, rest assured, marriage will come, and life will get better and better as we give God our whole lives and please Him with our thoughts and deeds.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Think About God Much?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 2, 2023
Being Single Again

When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2023
Want What God Wants for You

For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

Know your worth
Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out. Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

Marriage is the validation God has established
We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2023