Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

God Knows What’s Happening to You

Jeremiah 15:15 (NLT)
“Lord, you know what’s happening to me. Please step in and help me…”

Most of us can relate to the words of Jeremiah. We are aware that God is watching our every move. We know that He sees everything we’re going through, and that He knows our pain. We’re asking Him to please step in and help us get on the other side of loneliness and sadness. Why doesn’t it happen already?! Why do we have to continue greeting loneliness everyday like a nagging friend that simply won’t go away. “Lord, will You please just send him to me and let this part of my life be over?” This is the plea in our hearts as we consider facing another morning with our uninvited friend, but we should know that it is not one that goes unanswered. Our God is a very present help, and we must trust this with every part of our hearts.

A friend said to me, “I hate feeling lonely. It’s been almost two years, and I still haven’t met anyone!” I could hear the frustration in her voice and my heart went out to her. Having a deep desire to be married without meeting the right man can be challenging, but God has not left us alone to wade through singleness with unfulfilled desires. He wants to bless us with a relationship that will lead to marriage, and the condition is that we lean and depend on Him with our whole hearts. We must strengthen our relationship with God, and this requires us to renew our minds to His Word and change the way we think.

Jeremiah 15:18-19(NLT) tells us more about Jeremiah’s plea to our Heavenly Father for help. Jeremiah asked, “18 Why then does my suffering continue? Why is my wound so incurable? Your help seems as uncertain as a seasonal brook, like a spring that has gone dry.” Verse 19 tells us, “This is how the LORD responds: “If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be my spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you!”

Our Heavenly Father responded to His prophet Jeremiah with a code of conduct that opens the doors of His blessings. The prophet was really struggling in his mind and heart to fully trust God. He even went as far as to say that God’s help seemed uncertain. This was not the way to honor our Heavenly Father. It wasn’t the kind of thinking that conveys faith, but rather, it conveys doubt.

In God’s response, He told Jeremiah that if he would return to Him, restoration would occur. Jeremiah had turned away from God when he allowed his faith to diminish. He began to do what many of us do today, which is to speak worthless words of doubt and unbelief. Our Heavenly Father makes it clear that these are not words that glorify Him. He is not pleased with them, and He cannot reward a mindset and attitude like that. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 12:36(NLT), “And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.” We must be ever so careful to speak good words that express the goodness of our God and the perfection of His love and power.

Our Heavenly Father also said something else to Jeremiah that was really extraordinary. He said, “You must influence them; do not let them influence you!” This is God’s expectation for our conduct towards anyone that we meet and date. So often, we are influenced to do things that are contrary to God’s Will and Word, and this is something we must overcome. Not only must we demonstrate discipline over these temptations, but we must completely flip the script so that we assume the role of being an influencer for Christ. If we’re not prepared to do this, we’re not moving as quickly towards our desires as we could be.

One of the greatest tricks of the enemy is to convince us that we are powerless, hopeless, and without love. This is not the truth. God knows what is happening to us every moment of our lives, and He is always causing things to work together for our good. Our responsibility as born-again believers is to trust in His Word. God’s love is our confidence, and His truth is life to us! So, we must confess what God says is true, and not what we think is true. We have to wake up and recognize that every decision we make today will shape and mold our tomorrows, so we must make our words and actions count. There must be a shift in our thinking to trust God more and focus on ourselves less. When we follow this code of conduct, we will witness movement in our desires, and it will increase in momentum as we continually speak, think, and act like Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Knows What Is Happening to You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2026
Your Face Mirrors Your Heart

Proverbs 27:19 (MSG)
“Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.”

A while ago, I met up with two friends and both were having issues in their relationships. One was struggling with whether to remain in his marriage, and the other was frustrated because her significant other was reluctant to get married after being together three years. Neither of my friends were happy and their faces told the whole story.

Proverbs 27:19 tells us that just as water will reflect our face, our faces will reflect what is in our hearts. Sometimes what is in our hearts is a lot of hurt and confusion about the relationships that mean the most to us. We want them to last, but the other person isn’t who we hoped they’d be, and we don’t know what to do with the disappointment. Should we stay and try to make things work, or should we cut our losses and hope for a better future with someone else?

Society’s proverbial wisdom says, “Do what is in your heart.” We hear things like, “Let your heart be your guide.” This isn’t the wisdom that God teaches in His Word. Jeremiah 17:9(NLT) tells us, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” So, letting our hearts govern our decisions is never a wise choice. In fact, it can lead to very unsatisfactory results. Our Heavenly Father tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6 to trust in Him with all our hearts. He tells us not to lean on our own understanding but seek His Will in all that we do. When this is our practice, He promises to direct and show us which path to choose.

The heart that God speaks about in Jeremiah 17:9 isn’t referring to the one that pumps blood throughout our physical bodies. He’s informing us about the heart that is the seat of our being. It’s the one that we can’t hold in our hands, but our hearts are so essential to our relationship with God that He tells us every ounce of it must be dedicated to loving and trusting Him. 2Timothy 2:22(NLT) tells us, “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” Purity of heart leads to happiness and having this kind of heart should be our greatest ambition because it pleases God.

2Corinthians 9:8 teaches us that God is our sufficiency. He knows everything, and rather than trying to figure out things on our own, He tells us to seek Him with all our hearts. We need to do this even when we’re disappointed or betrayed by someone we trusted to be in our corners. Sometimes, it isn’t all about what they’ve done, but how we’ve responded to what they’ve done. Just as our hearts are reflected on our faces, our significant others are a mirror for us as well. They reflect that we need to renew our minds and put on more of God’s love. We need to be the change we want to see.

To tell someone to let go of a relationship when they’re not ready is almost always a useless exercise. Likewise, to convince someone they are ending a relationship unwisely and without the counsel of God is also sometimes just as futile. People have their own way of thinking and processing emotions, but if they are not motivated out of a heart that is full of the love of Christ, they can set themselves back big time. God’s Word tells us in Ephesians 4:32(NLT),“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This is God standard, and it must govern the way we treat all our brothers and sisters in Christ, including those that have disappointed us.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Your Face Mirrors Your Heart”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2026
Everybody Needs Somebody

John 13:34(NLT)
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

Everybody will need somebody at some point. It’s a fact of life, and it is how God designed life to work. We need Him, that’s a truth that can’t be denied, but to enjoy our earth experience to the fullest, we also need other people. Our Heavenly Father has specific standards and guidelines in His Word, and these govern how He says we ought to treat and value one another. He said in Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT), “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This will ensure that our hearts are like a magnet, drawing the love and company of those who love the Lord as we do, and having an attitude of forgiveness is one that sets all this in motion.

Having an attitude of forgiveness is also a struggle for some people. For whatever reason, holding onto resentment and grudges for those that have wronged them becomes their way of facing life each day, but this isn’t what our Heavenly Father wants. It’s a difficult, demanding, and cold world we live in, and frustrating things are happening all the time. Our Lord and Savior didn’t keep this a secret from us. He told the disciples in John 16:33(NLT), “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Over two thousand years later, this is still very much the case. The trouble that our Lord and Savior pointed to is still with us, but we can’t forget the Good News that he also shares with us. He gives us a peace that passes all understanding, and by leaning totally on him in faith and walking in his Spirit, we are victorious on every hand.

With this kind of victory, our hearts should be filled to overflowing with love for God and everyone else. We know this, but when people injure us deeply, we sometimes find it hard to forget the sting of the pain they’ve caused. They were selfish, thoughtless, and irritated us beyond what we could tolerate. It touched that place inside that we don’t want touched. Rather than love and forgive them, some of us have used anger and bitterness to seal up the walls of our hearts because of the damage this person has done.

God tells us in Ephesians 4:31(NLT), “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” There are tons of reasons why we choose to harbor feelings that prompt the wrong behaviors. The important thing for us to know is that these behaviors and feelings can keep people away from us. We can become so full of fear from the pain we’ve experienced that we won’t let anyone in.

I know more than a few people that have done this. They want so desperately to meet the Godly person that He sends to walk with them through life, but they are terrified to allow themselves to love fully because of the fear of being hurt.

Everybody needs somebody, and we never know when we’re going to need somebody the most. We need to keep a heart that is open so that we can be a blessing to others, and they can be a blessing to us. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:8(NLT), “God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.” Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has freed us from every kind of prison, and we shouldn’t let anything in this world cause us to put chains around our hearts ever again. We can’t live from a place of fear or bitterness and have the kind of life that God wants us to live. We need to lay down those things and keep our hearts open with love for God and a tenderhearted, compassionate, and forgiving love for others.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Everybody Needs Somebody”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 12, 2026
I Have to Make a Change

After a friend went MIA for a little over a month, she shared with me that she had decided to make some changes to her physical appearance. As women that have been praying a long time to meet the man that God will send, we often place ourselves under a lot of scrutiny. We might begin to find fault with our appearance and think that our flaws are impeding our progress towards the intended goal. I had no idea that my friend was feeling insecure in any way. She’s a very accomplished person and always seems to be so confident in herself. I was surprised to hear that she wasn’t happy with what she sees in the mirror. She decided to have surgery, and said to me, “This change is exactly what I needed, and I’m so glad I did it.”

Many of us want to be thinner, smarter, more attractive, or richer. In our modern times, for a fee, there are several avenues available to make just about any change that we want to ourselves. Likewise, there are also varying motivations behind a person’s desire to make these changes in their lives, but often they find that changing the outside doesn’t change the inside. Whatever a person’s motive may be, real transformation starts with renewing our minds to the Word of God. His wisdom teaches us that transformation will always begin from the inside out.

There are tons of God’s people that are not happy with their lives, and it is usually because becoming more like Christ is not their highest priority. In some cases, it’s the furthest thing from their minds. They want their lives to completely change from what it’s been. They want to leave the old behind and embark on a new chapter, but the only way to do this is to turn our focus away from ourselves and onto God through the Lord Jesus Christ. We must allow for the possibility that what needs to change is our attitude and commitment towards the Father.

We must be ever so careful that our desires do not blind our eyes to the greatness of what God has revealed to us in Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NLT) says, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” God wants us to become more like Jesus Christ with each passing day. We are right that change is necessary to bring about a change in our circumstances. Change is necessary to take us to the next level of blessings, but that change must occur in our minds and hearts first, and then everything else follows.

In Isaiah 43:15-19 (NLT), God said, “15 I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. 16 I am the LORD, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. 17 I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. 18 “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

God has begun a new work within us through Jesus Christ, and He is sure to finish what He started. Let’s not make the mistake of overlooking the obvious. We must be extremely thankful for what God has already done for us in our lives, but sometimes we lack the level of gratitude for Him that we should have. Instead of growing deeper in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we seek other things. If we want a meaningful and fulfilling existence, we have to change this. Real change begins when our way of living, behaving, thinking and being is drenched and running over with our love for God and our willingness to please Him. When this is our aim, our hearts will be transformed, and our lives will follow. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“I Have to Make a Change”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 5, 2026
He’s Mine Forever

Psalm 73:25-26 (NLT)
“25 Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. 26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”

If you’ve been in a significant relationship for a few years, and then things fall apart, the absence of having this person in your life can be deafening. When we’re in a relationship, we rarely consider the pain, anxiety, and lasting consequences that follow a breakup. These are not welcomed visitors, but they can come without invitation. We got too comfortable and for some of us, this was a trap. Without being conscious of it, “He’s mine forever” began to play in the background of our minds, and we bought into this even though the man never promised it, and his actions never conveyed it.

Discernment
The harsh reality is that pain is often our greatest teacher. It should teach us to guard our hearts, to be careful about who we let into our lives, and to be as patient with God as possible, especially when we’re figuring out exactly what we’re working with in the discernment phase of the relationship. It should also teach us that we desperately need God’s help with the rugged terrain of relationships. It’s arguably the area that we need spiritual discernment most. We need this sharpened spiritual tool to steer clear of men that will ultimately be harmful to our walk with the Father through Jesus Christ. They can cause us to go backward instead of forward, and when we get caught up in this, we can potentially miss the one God has sent.

We need to know that it’s possible to miss a blessing. People do it all the time. Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT) says, “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” The wrong path will set us up for failure, but in every case, the right path will lead us to God’s blessings. He’s the One who shows us which path to take. If we lean on Him, we’ll have the discernment to know what is for us and what isn’t.

Learn to love appropriately

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 1:9-11(The Message) says, “So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.” Romantic love isn’t primary. Loving a man through the love of Jesus Christ is most important to our Heavenly Father, and this is the kind of love that overcomes all obstacles.

God’s wisdom teaches us that “He’s mine forever” is not the right attitude when there’s no ring on our fingers. We know from experience that sometimes relationships do not stand the test of time; only our relationship with God through Jesus Christ will last forever. So, we must be so careful not to place all our eggs in another individual’s basket. We need to be anchored in God. Only He is worthy of all our trust. The psalmist said in Psalm 73:25 that he desired God more than anything else. This should be the passion of our hearts as well. When it is, we will walk with the Lord, and be guided by Him. Then we can trust what He has for us with all our hearts. ■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“He’s Mine Forever”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 26, 2026
The Vision of Your Destiny

Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)
“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”

Dating today isn’t what it was 50 years ago. The days when a couple decided to take their time and get to know each other before becoming more than friends seems like ancient history. Many single women say that the men they’re meeting simply aren’t interested in having a significant long-term relationship that leads to marriage. These women are wondering about their futures and if finding a compatible mate is something that is going to happen for them.

We can’t hide from the reality that many Christian women have been praying a very long time to cross paths with the man God sends. They want to share their lives with a man that can love them genuinely and desires to spend his life with them. We need to get back to the basics of faith and remind ourselves that God is the One that has placed the desire for marriage in our hearts. Philippians 2:13(NLT) tells us, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” It’s a challenge for many of us to trust that this desire comes from God, and this is one of the reasons that we try to control everything.

Proverbs 16:9(NLT) says, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” We’ve tried many strategies to get us down that aisle on our wedding day, but many of those are out of step with God’s Will and plan. Our destinies belong to Him and He’s the One that has set them. When we try to place ourselves in a seat that belongs to Him alone, we set ourselves back instead of moving ourselves forward. This is one of the lessons that singleness teaches us.

God wants you to be over the moon fulfilled and happy, and He wants you to have a healthy and loving relationship with someone that loves you like Jesus Christ loves the church. It’s also very important to our Heavenly Father that we partner with a man that is supportive of our union with Christ. This is a person that will help us to grow spiritually stronger, and we will help him do the same. The problem is that for many of us, this isn’t our priority. We’re more interested in things that have nothing to do with the quality of a man’s heart. Sometimes, we’re just looking for the wrong things, and we’re all too willing to accept the wrong things and people into our lives.

This can never equal the destiny that God has set for us. The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NLT), “The LORD will work out his plans for my life–for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.” We must get into the practice of praying more to receive the vision of the destiny God has planned for us than we pray about any other thing. Marriage for the rest of our days on earth is only a tiny sliver of a moment compared to the eternity we will spend with the Father. We need to prioritize the things of His Kingdom first. We must diligently seek God, not for what we can receive from Him, but we must seek Him because He is worthy to be sought. He knows the timeline of every detail of your marriage. It’s under His control. Trust this with all your heart and do all that you can to show our Heavenly Father that you are thankful and blessed to have a relationship with Him and a destiny that is anchored in the Lord Jesus Christ. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Vision of Your Destiny”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 19, 2026
Finding the Treasure in You

After a friend said that Valentine’s Day was a complete disappointment for her, she is feeling defeated and sad. She doubts that God will ever bless her with a husband and wants to give up on this desire. She told me that she realizes her standards are very high and that she is very picky. She also admits to being judgmental, but said, “I just want the best, and I thought that God wanted me to have the best too. I don’t understand why I have to continue being single year after year!”

God answers prayers, and when we pray to Him for the great desires of our hearts, He also tells us what He requires of us. Many of us are in denial about this, but God and His blessing plan are not flawed. Everything that He does is perfect and according to His Will and purpose. In the Old Testament, God had given His people the extraordinary promise of having a land to call their own, and it wasn’t just any land, it was the best land, but with this promise, there was a condition—a requirement—that needed to be met. In Deuteronomy 30:16(ESV), through His servant, Moses, God told them, “If you obey the commandments of the LORD your God that I command you today, by loving the LORD your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it.”

So, indeed my friend is correct, God wants us to have the best, and only He can give us the best, but we, as His sons and daughters, have a responsibility to know and live according to His truth. John 3:16(ESV) tells us, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Our Heavenly Father gave us the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. This is a treasure so enormous that it will take us an eternity to live it out.

God has already given us the best, and everything that you and I do in this life is a response to what He has done. Most people respond to this enormous treasure of the sacrifice of Christ by neglecting, ignoring, or downplaying its vast and rich wealth. Others deny its bounty and follow certain aspects of the example of Christ only to the extent that it serves their personal agendas. But a small minority will passionately cling to the example of Christ. A small minority of us will make it our priority to live, give, share, and love according to the bounty of what we have received through Christ.

In Romans 12:1-2(NLT), God tells us, “1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” God is lovingly appealing to us to give our whole hearts, minds, souls, and strength to Him as a living sacrifice; not a dead one full of darkness, destruction, and death, but a living sacrifice that is full of love, devotion, and passion for Him. He commands us not to be conformed to this world, which is full of selfishness, arrogance, and wickedness. Instead, we must change the way that we think so that our minds line up with the mind of Christ, and our lives will be pleasing to our Heavenly Father.

Many single women have gone on an expedition of finding and owning their self-worth. They’ve been of the mindset that they are a treasure and therefore deserve a treasure. The truth is that only God can define what a treasure is or isn’t, and He has established that the treasure in us is the Spirit of Christ who lives within. 2Corinthians 4:7(NLT), “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” Our motivation should always and forever be to find the treasure of Christ in us and learn to love through him increasingly with each day. When this is our great goal and ambition, God will send a man who is deserving of the love of Christ that is in our hearts. ■

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Finding the Treasure in You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 12, 2026
I’m Ready, But He Has This Issue…

1 John 3:16-18 (NLT)
“16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion–how can God’s love be in that person? 18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”

Recently I noticed something a bit different about a co-worker and good friend. He’s usually in a great mood and always anxious for the end of the day on Fridays so his weekend can begin. He’s been dating someone for over a year, and they’ve been spending a lot of time together on the weekends, but something has changed. After almost a week of being unusually quiet, I asked him if he was alright. He said to me, “I had been seriously contemplating giving my lady an engagement ring, but there’s some things about her that I’ve noticed lately. They are too concerning for me to overlook. I love her, but I don’t think I can make this move yet. I need to see a change.”

His honesty with himself about what he was seeing from this woman is impressive. He wasn’t in denial about what could potentially be real problems in a marriage down the road, and that’s a really good thing. As women, sometimes we don’t give ourselves this gift. Even when there are flashing lights and warning signs all over the place, if we think a ring is even a remote possibility, some of us will ignore it when the man has issues that are very problematic. Our aim shouldn’t be to ignore these things, but to deal with them in a way that leaves us and the other person in a higher spiritual place.

In the beginning of relationships, people present themselves in a certain way because they are purposefully trying to put themselves in the best possible light. This kind of surface-dwelling can last up to a year, and even longer. It’s inevitable, though, that this will eventually wear thin and two people will begin to see what is underneath the surface about each other. It can be a very challenging time in the relationship, and most of them go through this stage. There’s going to be a point where two people see each other’s dirt, and sometimes it can be so hurtful that many couples do not recover.

Both people think that they are right and the other is wrong. A woman might say, “I’m ready but he has this issue that keeps popping up.” If abuse is the issue, that should never be tolerated, but when it isn’t a factor and both individuals are committed to Christ, our Lord and Master should have the final say. He gives us the truth, and it breaks through all the layers and it should cause us yield to God’s Will, purpose, and plan.

In Matthew 7:3-5(NLT), Jesus said, “3 And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” When things go south, tit-for-tat is often the game played. We think that if the other person would just change something about themselves, things would be better. But the reality is that no one wins in the blame game. Both individuals need to take a good long look in the mirror. In significant relationships, we all come to the table broken in some way. And when it comes to taking that relationship to the next level, we all think we’re ready, but the truth is simply that sometimes we’re not.

There’s a place of pain within all of us, and when something is done to take us to that place, our first inclination is to shut down and become non-communicative. Jesus Christ offers another solution. We need to get rid of the speck in our own eye, and that is a very challenging thing to do, but we can do it if we humble ourselves under the leadership and direction of the Holy Spirit. Many of us have a need to be right, and when things get raw, we can easily turn to bitterness and blame. We can be like, “That’s a wrap for me!” but we have to be careful, because this would never be the response of Jesus Christ. Whether the relationship is salvageable or not, we have to take a step back and be obedient to the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23(NLT) tells us, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” These are the fruit the Spirit produces, and he produces them through us. We must submit to this.

God’s Word tells us that when we grow up and mature spiritually and physically, we must let go of childish things. We must come to a place in our faith where we recognize and trust that the power of God’s love can transform anything. It can transform us, and it can transform the one that has hurt us. We are His children, and if we allow His love to reign in our attitude and behavior, we will demonstrate that we are true disciples of Christ. We will witness that God’s love is the ultimate problem solver. It will cause us to be who He wants us to be, and it is the solid foundation on which any lasting and beautiful relationship must rest.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“I’m Ready, But He Has This Issue…”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 5, 2026
The Heart of a Quarrelsome Wife

“Are you happy?” Jordan’s husband texted her while he was at work one evening. She’d been telling him for weeks how unappreciated she felt in their marriage, and he had taken her out for dinner the night before in hopes of beginning to turn things around. But truthfully, he wasn’t feeling great about things either. For a while, he had complained that she was always very snippy with him and has a short fuse. Jordan didn’t used to be this way, but the last year has been really tough. He’s afraid their marriage may not rebound because of her temperament and all the stress it continues to cause.

Disappointments, residual emotions from childhood trauma, and just being unhappy with life can cause irritability and anger. We can spiral in this condition, and we may not notice how much it is impacting those closest to us. Proverbs 21:9(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” This wisdom in God’s Word has been relevant for thousands of years, and it shows us that God is very aware of the emotional issues that can harm a marriage. In general, life can be very stressful at times, and a wife can become quarrelsome for different reasons, especially if she feels she’s not being heard, but all is not lost. She can turn this around through her faith in God.

All kinds of things can set us off, trust issues, finances, problems with intimacy, poor communication, personality differences, behavioral issues with the kids; these and more can trigger us, making us feel that our needs are not being met. But we must know that none of these things make anger or quarreling a viable solution. Pulling back the layers usually reveals that we need to place greater focus and faith in our relationship with God through the example of Jesus Christ.

For some women, gloom hits them as soon as they open their eyes each morning, and marriage begins to feel like an additional weight. We can become frustrated before we brush our teeth, thinking about all the ways our yesterdays were miserable, and expecting the day in front of us to be much of the same. Many singles feel this way now, even without the husband, and if we don’t begin to use the tools and materials God has provided to work our way out of this, we will bring quarreling and anger into our future marriages.

Some of us don’t yell or scream but have mastered nice-nasty and have learned to sweetly manipulate, or to withdraw and withhold emotions as a way of punishing and getting our way. Things like this will lead us away from a happy marriage instead of closer to it. There’s a vulnerability to Christ that our hearts must yield to. We must be malleable to God as He works in us through His Holy Spirit. And we must be willing to let the Spirit open our hearts as we continually and genuinely pray for spiritual maturity and growth in Christ.

God expects us to respond to every aspect of life with the biblical practices Jesus Christ has taught us. Jesus tells us in John 14:6(NLT), “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” Jesus Christ is the way! He is the way to victory, love, unity, peace, understanding, compassion, patience, and every other good thing we can demonstrate and receive. We are never alone in our efforts to navigate singlehood, parenthood, or marriage. Jesus Christ has made the Holy Spirit available to us, and his power will work in our hearts and minds if we will let it.

The psalmist prayed in Psalm 51:10(KJV), “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” As singles, if we are in any way heading down a path that will lead us to be quarrelsome wives, the priority of our prayers should be that God will reveal this to us and help us to be renewed in our minds and hearts. We should pray that he will reveal any other behavior, attitude, or action we’re practicing that is keeping us from being the wife He wants us to be. As we spiritually prepare for marriage, we must remember that we shouldn’t depend on a man to make us happy. We’re setting the marriage up for failure when we do this. When we’re happy in Christ within ourselves, we have built the proper foundation and the husband will add to it. If we do the work of having an unshakable faith and joy in Christ, quarreling will take a back seat as we make a home of sweetness and peace.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Heart of a Quarrelsome Wife”,, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 29, 2026
Be Ready for God’s Answer

2 Corinthians 5:20

John 16:23-24 (NLT)
“23 At that time you won’t need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name. 24 You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”

After the Christmas holidays were over, Sharon and Jason called it quits. Sharon consulted with her spiritual counselor who walks in wisdom regarding God’s Word. She wanted to know if she could’ve taken any actions to prevent the relationship from falling apart. Her counselor told her, “Whether he’s in your life or not, no matter what happens, you must trust God.” This was not the answer Sharon was looking to hear. She was prepared to go to spiritual battle to get Jason back, and the wisdom she had heard from this wise spiritual veteran didn’t convey the fight and urgency she felt her situation warranted.

They had been together almost two years, and Sharon believed they were headed for marriage. When Jason told her that he wanted to take things slow without the pressure of marriage, it was her first inkling that he wasn’t as devoted as she initially believed. Ultimately, he walked away, and Sharon knew that he didn’t love her the way she had always wanted to be loved. She tried to accept it, but when the thought of being without Jason set in, having him back was the only way she knew to ease her pain.

God doesn’t want any of His children to go through heartbreak. It can be devastating and once we spend a little time feeling the sting of it, we often sense an urgency to do whatever we can to make the pain go away. However, pining away over a man that doesn’t want to be committed isn’t the answer. Having faith in God is the right answer, and it will forever be the right answer.

Psalm 146:3(NIV) says, “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” The wisdom of this verse isn’t telling us that we can’t ever trust people. It’s conveying the judgment and discernment we must demonstrate when it comes to understanding His omnipotence and omniscience compared to that of human beings. None of us possess the ability to give eternal life to another individual. We can’t save their souls or extend their years upon this earth. Only God has this power. Psalm 75:6-7(NIV) tells us, “6 No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt themselves. 7 It is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another.” If we get this twisted in a relationship, and we begin to think a man has the ability to take away our pain or give us more joy than what God has provided through Jesus Christ, we are dabbling in idolatry, and that is exceedingly dangerous territory.

When we’re faced with heartbreak like Sharon is experiencing with Jason, of course we go to God, and we should. Psalm 147:3(NIV) tells us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” If we trust Him with our brokenness, He will help us grow in wisdom and endurance so that we do not continually choose men that will hurt and leave us, but this is not what many of us want. We want the man that wounded us, even though he has not treated or loved us the way God wants us to be loved. It’s in this state of denial that some of us will ask the Father if He will bring the man back to us.

As mature women, we have to know that if we ask our Great Big Wonderful God a question, He is going to answer us. Either through a spiritual counselor that is wise in His Word or through the voice of His Spirit, we will receive a Word that cuts through all the pain and administers truth. This is what Sharon received. It’s never about the man. It’s always about our level of faith and trust in God. It’s about how we’ve prioritized our relationship with Him during the times we were in a relationship with a man and without one.

Our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, told us John 16:23-24 that we can ask anything in his name, and the Father will do it. This is God’s promise, but if we ask for a prayer to be answered in the name of Jesus Christ, it means that we’ve asked for a request that is according to God’s Will. Not our will, but God’s Will. We don’t get to tell God that we know what man is right for our lives. He tells us, and when we ask Him, we shouldn’t look for His answer to always be what we want to hear. We must be ready to hear that our commitment to Him must grow stronger, that we must have greater faith, and we need to be patient and surrender our will for His. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Be Ready for God’s Answer”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 22, 2026