Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

  • Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom

    You’ve been waiting for this moment for most of your adult life, and now it’s here. The man you met thirteen months ago proposed and you couldn’t be happier. Whether you’ve never been married, or you’re divorced or widowed, getting married is always going to be a life changing experience. Finally arriving at the place where you can honestly say the wait is over is a really big deal and a sigh of relief. That’s not to say things are perfect. If you’ve been dating the same person a while, you’ve probably seen a lot of things in him that you really love and a few things that could use some work. You understand that neither you or your future spouse is perfect, but you’ve agreed to be committed to one another and help each other grow. Single women who have yet to get to that point should know that there’s a profound spiritual element that causes all this to come together and move a woman from dating to marriage, and that element is God’s wisdom.

    Proverbs 2:6 tells us that it is the Lord who gives wisdom, and knowledge and understanding come from His mouth. Many singles haven’t fully believed this and have sought many other sources for what can only come from God. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) that “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” A principal thing is a thing that is highest on the list of importance. This means that wisdom ranks very high in God’s Book. He wants us to obtain knowledge from His Word, and He also wants us to understand the knowledge we’ve acquired. This is what keeps us growing and flourishing in our Christian lives.

    Navigate before you date
    Wisdom is the principal thing that allows us to navigate dating from a position of faith even before we begin to date. We forget sometimes that we are spiritual beings with a soul having an earth experience. As spiritual beings, we are continually sending out messages through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions. We are also constantly responding to the messages that others around us send as well. God tells us in His Word that all this sending and responding better add up to His love, because if it doesn’t, we’re sending and responding to the wrong messages, and we’ll miss what He has in store. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves unable to get out of the gate when it comes to marriage. We’re not yet sending a strong and right message of God’s love.

    To navigate before you date, you must have a commitment to stand on the foundation of God’s Word no matter who you meet and how much he likes you and you like him. This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s also about understanding your position and facing the reality that its up to you to help move yourself and your relationship from point A to point B. You must span that distance through your faith in God, and if you are disobeying Him, you are not walking in wisdom or faith, and He can’t bless that. If you’re planning to sin two weeks after you meet the guy, you’ve lost the treasure before it even has time to develop and grow.

    Be in agreement with God’s plan
    Two people that are ordained by God to walk together in life are in each other’s destinies. God has already taken care of this. They are magnetized to each other, but faith is the thing that moves them closer to one another. When they are checked-in to destiny, and they are sending and responding in a way that resonates God’s love toward one another, all things will work together for their supreme benefit. This is the way all good things come together. Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This points to an agreement that is more than physical or mental. It’s a spiritual agreement, and we cannot get to that point unless our chief concern in life is loving God through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions.

    To come into agreement with God’s plan, all parts of you must be on board with His love. Romans 12:1(NLT) affirms this. It says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” God purchased us with a very high price, the price of the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He wants all of you, your spirit, soul, and body, to be presented to Him as a living sacrifice. God has a purpose for your life, and in order for it to unfold, you must be in total agreement with Him through what you do, think, feel, and say.

    The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NKJV), “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;” In other words, God is going to fulfill His purpose for our lives. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. Again, our responsibility as believers is to align ourselves with His plan and purpose. When we do this, amazing things will begin to happen.

    Pray to receive God’s wisdom and understanding
    Dating is not the first step towards marriage, becoming spiritually prepared for it is. Your mind and heart must be sold-out for God before you think about loving, supporting, and ministering to another person’s heart and life. Proverbs 16:9(NLT) tells us, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It is irrational and illogical to think that we can line up our faith with God’s plan and purpose for our lives when we don’t even know what God’s plan and purpose of our lives is. We need to spend quality time in prayer and pray to receive revelation and guidance through His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit is the One that will guide us into all truth. You must humble yourself and surrender to God in every aspect of living, dating, and marriage.

    1Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but of peace and order. He is organized beyond anything we can imagine. He knows the end at the beginning and beginning at the end. There’s nothing about anything that you and I could ever do in our lives that would surprise Him. He knows the plan He has for us, and His purpose and the mission He has set for our lives is for us to walk in His love to the greatest extent possible. God wants to look at your heart and see Christ, and that is His priority for you.

    God has given us marriage to teach us how to love one another and to teach us the depth, breadth, and width of His love for us. When Jesus Christ returns, there will be no need for marriage, so we must pray and be ever so careful that we don’t get out of order and begin to think that marriage is more than what God designed it to be. Our Heavenly Father requires that we put and seek Him first in all things. No matter how long we live, no matter what we do, and no matter who we are, it will all boil down to how well we love God. This determines our spiritual preparedness to navigate dating with God’s wisdom and to take our relationship with the right person from dating to marriage ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

    A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

    1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)
    “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

    Imagine being friends with a man that you’re interested in, but you don’t think he’s interested in you in the same way. How do you handle this? Do you stop being in his company? Do you conclude definitively that there’s no possibility for something more? What if he meets someone else, can the two of you still remain friends? This can be very tricky and as women of faith, we must be careful and use discernment. 1Thessalonians 5:11 tells us that part of our responsibility to Christ is to build each other up. So, we should be very careful not to offend or harm our friend’s relationship with God by causing a mistake that could have been avoided.

    I had a boss once that said to me that he never allows anyone to ride in his vehicle outside of his family. When I asked him why, he said it eliminates confusion and cuts down on unnecessary explaining when it pertains to the opposite sex. I completely understood his logic. It speaks to the culture and climate we’re currently living in. Taking a friendship outside its boundaries can create confusion and even more issues, especially in the workplace. When the affection is one-sided, jealousy, obsession, and anger can rear their ugly heads and put the other person in a very compromising position. These are real circumstances happening to real people.

    Our Heavenly Father wants us to have fulfilling lives, and friendships add so much flavor and fulfillment to our existences. However, when it comes to relationships between men and women, we should walk in wisdom. Proverbs 3:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Platonic relationships between men and women are certainly possible, and many such relationships are common, but wisdom dictates that there must be some established boundaries that both people are committed to uphold.

    Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. God teaches in His word that friends should help to keep each other sharp in God’s wisdom. They should help and not hinder each other spiritually. So, it is incumbent on all of us to have motives that are pleasing to God in our friendships with men, and to guard our hearts so that we do not begin to develop romantic feelings. Some might say, “You can’t help who you love.” That’s a very romantic sentiment, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth.

    God is our Creator. No other deserves our greatest level of love more than He does. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Yet, most do not love God in this way. They don’t love Him in this way because they consciously choose not to love Him. Jesus Christ gave us this commandment because the truth is that love is a choice. We choose who we will love, and we choose who we will not love. We have free-will, and we are in charge of our emotions; our emotions should not be in charge of us.

    2Timothy 1:7(NLT) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We were not created to be emotionally out of control. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and we must have faith that we can operate in our friendships with men and women from a place of strength, Godly love, and self-control.

    Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This is really key when it comes to a friendship that might lead to marriage. As a woman, you must do some self-examination to keep your intentions aligned with God’s Will. We must be clear that God sends the right person for us, and He will let us know who that person is. So, when we develop feelings for a friend, the first thing is not to pray that God will make this man return your affection. God never oversteps our free-will. He does not force us to love Him, and He will not force someone to love us.

    Some friendships with men do move from the platonic stage to ultimately marriage, but we need to always hear from God on this matter. If a male friend hasn’t given you any indication that you are anything more than a friend, keep strict to those boundaries. You will be in a much better position to navigate with peace and ease if you continue to be Godly and focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father. It’s a blessing to have good platonic male friends, and to also be a blessing in those relationships by maintaining boundaries and walking by the example of Christ. Understand that you can do this if you walk in wisdom. Only want what God has for you, and have faith that what is for you, you will not miss. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Friendship that Leads to Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Gift God Has for You

    The Gift God Has for You

    1John 4:7-8 (NIV)
    “7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

    When God’s love is anchored within us, we have an abundant resource to draw from. This makes all the difference in all our relationships, but especially so in our significant relationships with men. The Big Story of Life is God’s love. The introduction is that God loves us and wants to be with us. The main storyline is that He has made a way for this to happen through Jesus Christ, who is the central character and subject of life from the beginning to the end. It is important we recognize that nothing moves us forward with any great degree without beginning every action with the knowledge of God’s love and the motivation to move in, with, by, and through it.

    Adam and Eve lost access to God. They showed us the tragedy that occurs when we choose something over our love for our Heavenly Father. They were disconnected from Him and His holiness when they sinned against His Word. This was catastrophic for humanity on every level, but God did not leave us in this trouble state. He had a plan of redemption long before Adam and Eve came on the scene, and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, He saved us from sin and death. God is our Redeemer, Rescuer, Refuge, and Rewarder. He laid it all on the line to save us, and He did this because He wants to be with us, and He wants us to love through Him.

    Jesus Christ has given us direct access to our Heavenly Father. Jesus died for the sins of the world, and God accepted his death on the cross as a sacrifice for all our sin. Jesus was innocent, and he died the most agonizing, brutal, and horrific death in order to restore our friendship with God. Romans 5:10-11(NLT) says, “10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” This is an amazing passage! It ties together our rejoicing over our redemption to the kind of gratitude we should have in our relationship with God. This joy we should have over our friendship with God should shape and mold our days before they even begin.

    The reality we’re now facing is that many single women are not living with joy, and they are not rejoicing about what it means to be friends with God. They are not intentional about their gratitude for the price God paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and in their hearts, there’s little trace of the depth, width, and breadth of love we should have for our Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ set us free from sin and shame. He died in our place, and paid the penalty required for all our wrongdoing, but many of our actions convey we lack both the enthusiasm and thankfulness for all God has done. Our prayers must shift so that this, more than any other thing, is the priority in our prayer-lives.

    Through Jesus Christ, God has placed His Spirit within us. In the Old Testament, in Ezekiel 36:26(NLT), God prophesied through His prophet, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ, this is the kind of heart that we can have. By becoming born-again and accepting the gift of salvation that Christ offers, we receive God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. He will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ, and he will tell us about the future. Philippians 2:13 declares that the Spirit will work in us and give us the desire to do what pleases God.

    So, we don’t have any excuses. God has made it possible for us to have the kind of heart He is looking for. He has given us the capacity to love Him in a way that delights Him, but as women, some of us are not interested in doing this. Jesus Christ is the gift that God has given to the world, and a whole life’s worth of thank-yous wouldn’t equal the gratitude we should express. We are just way too concerned with delighting in a man, and we’ve placed delighting in God in the back seat. That won’t do. We must pray that the Spirit will help us to change this.

    The Spirit is the One who does all the Work, and God simply commands us to let him. We do this through prayer, meditation, and studying God’s Word. Our prayers should be more about our relationship with God than any other thing. We should desire Him so supremely that our entire being is a love song dedicated to His glory.

    The gift that God has for us is received only when we acknowledge that the greatest gift we could receive has already been given. Everything we receive after salvation is a reward from honoring God with gratitude and obedience for the sacrifice of Christ. The love that was demonstrated towards us by God must be deep in our hearts. It must create a well in us that is overflowing to such a degree that our spouses are drenched in it. We must understand that we cannot be a wife ordained by God without understanding that the sacrifice Christ made is pure love. To be prepared for marriage, we must be a different kind of woman. We must understand that love indeed means sacrifice, and only then can we love our husbands with the same commitment and depth of love that Christ has for us. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Gift God Has for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Rush

    Don’t Rush

    Proverbs 19:3(NLT)
    “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.”

    Everything that we do, think, and say has a consequence. Whether our actions are good or bad determines whether what we get back is a reward or a curse. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:43-45(NLT), “43 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” There’s no escaping this truth. Everything that we do comes from what is in us. It comes from our hearts, and often the lessons that God teaches us are about what we need to get out of our hearts and what we need to put in them.

    Our time as unmarried individuals is very special, but often we don’t view it that way. It’s special because it gives us time to grow in Christ and to learn the spiritual lessons that prepare us for married life. Most importantly, our time as singles can and should be used to deepen our relationship with God. As single people, we don’t have nearly as many distractions because we’re not obligated the way we would be if we were married. Time to devote and develop our prayer lives and cement our faith are the gifts we can give ourselves while we’re single. Many believers that are married fondly look back to the time they spent with Heavenly Father during their unmarried years. It was truly special to them because the intimacy they shared with God increased their faith tremendously.

    James 1:12 tells us that God blesses those who patiently endure. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and it is a quality that every true disciple of Jesus Christ must have. Many women desiring marriage have not fully understood God’s requirement in this area. They are not patiently enduring the wait by using that time to grow stronger in their relationship with Him. Instead, many of them want to rush to marriage and have refused to study and meditate on the Word and spend quality time with Heavenly Father.

    In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God told His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” When it comes to meeting the man that God has ordained to walk with us through life and establishing a relationship with him, some of us want to rush the process to avoid spiritual growth. We think we’re ready, and we’re wondering why this blessing is delayed. We never think about the reality that God is looking at our hearts and that our failure to examine them is separating us from what we desire.

    Our past relationships brought some deep-down stuff to the surface. We might have placed all the blame on the ex and absolved ourselves completely of any issues that came up, but not honestly dealing with an issue causes it to be on repeat. There were some things that came out of our mouths that provided a snapshot of what is in our hearts, and it was not a pretty picture. We’ve yet to deal with that, and it is hindering us from moving forward.

    Our past indicates a tendency to rush into situations that aren’t for our good. We rushed into relationships with men without getting a greenlight from our Heavenly Father, and given the opportunity, we might do the same thing again. Rushing into anything or anyone is an indicator that we’re trusting our own abilities more than we trust in God’s wisdom and timing. That’s not good. Leaning on our own understanding is the foolishness that Proverbs 19:3 points to, so we should avoid this at all costs.

    Before we walk down the aisle, we have to be prepared to handle the heft of what comes next, and the proof of that our good stewardship and spiritual strength is how we’ve handled and prioritized our relationship with God. When you make a mistake and realize it, this is not the time to run or blame, it’s the time to assess, reprioritize, and repent, because this prepares you for the compassion and patience marriage requires. It’s time to take a realistic look at the lessons of accountability, and make sure they are firmly in our grasp. We can’t rush past them, but we must seek the Lord for help to patiently confront any issue that keeps us from having a heart that is full of His love. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Rush”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • It’s Not About You

    It’s Not About You

    Galatians 5:19-21(NLT)
    “19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”

    The grace that God has given us is too amazing for words. Through the sacrifice and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, God has saved us, and He has empowered us through His Holy Spirit so we can live successfully within the earth. For years too many to count, He has been patient with our sinful indulgences and behavior, and although He is as patient and merciful as He ever was, something within this earthly realm has changed. The consequences of our actions are more severe, and we no longer have the time we once had to get things right with God.

    For many of us, the desire to get married is still first and foremost in our hearts, but the path seems more challenging to find. This shouldn’t be surprising to us. 2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) says, “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” Our Heavenly Father has provided a wealth of knowledge about how satan operates in this verse. First, He tells us that satan is the god of this world. When we study God’s Word more closely, we will see that satan was given this position by us. Our sin put him there, because there’s a whole lot of sinning going on in the world, and sin transfers what God meant for us to satan.

    One of the chief functions of darkness is to blind so that light cannot be seen. This is another piece of wisdom that 2Corinthians 4:4 conveys. If we do not believe in faith, we can be blinded from the treasures that faith reveals. Sadly, this is the condition of many people, more specifically, those that desire to be married.

    We understand that the activity of evil in the earth has accelerated, perhaps more in our time than any other. The lives of many people are totally consumed by what is happening in the world, and they dedicate even less than an hour a week on the things of God. This is what blinds them. It’s what keeps their eyes from landing on the very thing that would lead them down the path of what they’re desiring.

    Our Heavenly Father has given us free-will. We can do whatever we choose, but there is a consequence for every action. If actions are aligned with the Will of God, the consequence will be a reward. If actions are aligned with darkness, the consequence will be more darkness. The wrong actions, behaviors, confessions, and thoughts will corrupt our lives and cause everything to work against us. God commands us to steer clear of these things. 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) declares, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We are children of God’s light, and it is our responsibility to keep our eyes focused on Him so we can see what He is doing in our lives.

    Many of us are too focused on ourselves to be focused on God, and that’s a huge problem. It’s not about you. This is the simple truth. It is always and forever about Jesus Christ and how you live in, with, by, and through him. Colossians 3:3(NLT) tells us, “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” When you gave your life to Christ, your life became hidden with him in God. The reality of this is that when anyone sees you, they shouldn’t see the old you, they should see Christ.

    1Corinthians 6:12-13(NLT) says, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.” There is no joy to be had in sinfulness. There is only pain, and that isn’t what our Heavenly Father wants for us. He tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 that the fruit of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When we walk in the Spirit, he will produce these in us, and our lives will be pleasing to God.

    We must make up our minds that we will not be blinded by the enemy and separated from the blessings we desire most. The wrong choices and decisions can set us back, but the right choices and decision can set us up for all that our Heavenly Father has in store. In these last days, it is more important than ever to say “Yes” to God. We can’t simply say that we believe all things are possible through Him, we must show God that we are growing in faith by being humble to His voice and directions, because this is His Will. Don’t be like those that have been on this Christian journey for years but have believed so little in His power. Focus your energy on God through the Lord Jesus Christ, not on what you want, because it’s not about you. It’s about what God wants for your life. Miraculous things will happen when you surrender to that truth.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “It’s Not About You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • More Precious Than Jewels

    More Precious Than Jewels

    Proverbs 19:14(ESV)
    “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

    In Old Testament times, wealth and possessions went from father to son. A daughter was not allowed to inherit her father’s wealth, so she did not receive an inheritance, only a dowry that she could bring into her new marriage. An inheritance meant a great deal to sons and gave them confidence that they could begin their own families with some degree of stable footing. Leaving an inheritance was the best that a biological father could do, but receiving it is no guarantee for a fulfilling and happy life with a wife. Proverbs 19:14 tells us that only God can give a man a wise, understanding, and sensible wife. For women, this is information we can’t afford to miss.

    God is the One that causes the paths of two individuals to cross. He is the One who knows exactly what it will take to bless our lives. Although many of us think we know everything about who the right person is for us, we do not. In Jeremiah 17:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” When the disciples were praying about a replacement for Judas, Acts 1:24(NLT) says, “Then they all prayed, “O Lord, you know every heart. Show us which of these men you have chosen.” They understood that they could not make a decision with their own sense knowledge. They surrendered to God’s Will and needed to hear from Him because He, and He alone, knows the secret motives of every heart. We would do well to remember this so that we will seek God only when it comes to marrying the right one for our lives.

    A prudent wife

    A prudent wife is going to know what to do when the man or the children are ill. She’s perceptive, so she knows and recognizes signs when someone isn’t feeling well and needs medical attention. A prudent wife is not selfish because she knows that selfishness and bitterness ruin relationships. Giving and pouring into her family is always on her mind, and she always puts God first. A prudent wife prays all the time, and she recognizes that a persistent and quality prayer life keeps her relationship with God tight, and therefore, keeps her life blessed and in balance. She walks by the Spirit, and never gets ahead of his counsel. This is what makes her special.

    A prudent woman understands that in order to be a prudent wife, she must divorce her single life and not try to hang on to her single days. This is a challenge for many modern women. We’re in love with our closet space, and never thought of making room for two as a sign that our faith and actions are working together. We never thought of learning to cook as a way of showing God we’re willing to make sacrifices for the good of our future marital union, so that if hubby can’t cook, at least we can make a banging omelet. As a prudent woman seeking marriage, you can’t just pray about what you desire, you’ve got to be thinking about what your husband might desire as well. Your life has to prove you’re confident that God will deliver on His promises. Your faith, actions, and confessions must all be on the same page.

    An excellent wife
    Proverbs 31:10(ESV) says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” At one time, the self esteem of a lot of women tanked because of baked-in societal norms of inequities and mistreatment. To compensate, there’s now an over exaggeration of a woman’s value and worth in some arenas. Society pushes for selfish indulgences, and there’s all this talk about queenship. A woman cannot make herself a queen, and this is something we would do well to learn very quickly. Only God can give us a crown, and He does not do that lightly.

    We can’t have an over exaggerated sense of self-worth, because that will lead us to arrogance, and arrogance will kill any blessing that we’re hoping to receive. Many of us expect the man to automatically assume we’re a queen and treat us that way, when there’s not enough of the love of Christ in our hearts to make us royalty. It’s God who assigns worth and judges us faithful according to the standard He alone has set. An excellent wife knows this.

    Many of us haven’t prayed to God to teach us to be an excellent wife. We’ve not prayed to be accelerated in spiritual preparation so that we can marry soon. We haven’t developed the maturity to hear what the Lord is saying, fix what He says to fix and hone what He says to hone, so that we’re ready to be presented with the man He sends. An excellent wife has delighted in being prepared by God through His Word and the Holy Spirit. She has her eyes open spiritually, and this makes her priceless.

    Sometimes we make decisions and choices without being patient to hear from God. We still have more work to do to be the prudent and excellent wife that God wants us to be. The problem is that many of us don’t think so. We’re not interested in hearing what God says on the matter, so ultimately, we self-sabotage. We can avoid this. We don’t have to mess things up for ourselves when it comes to our significant relationship with the one God will send. He would not tell us to be prudent and excellent if it were not possible. Remember, you’re not trying to be a prudent and excellent wife for every man, only for the one that is right for you. Pray on that. Pray that the Lord continues to polish you so that you’re seen as the most precious jewel in the eyes of your beloved. Pray that you will be a prudent and excellent wife that comes from the Lord.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “More Precious Than Jewels”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Let Your Love for God Be Genuine

    Let Your Love for God Be Genuine

    After reminiscing one day about a past relationship with one of my sisters in Christ, she phoned me with a question. “Kim, you said something the other day that I don’t quite understand. You said that I should never give a man that I’m dating husband privileges.” She told me that this was the way she had always approached relationships, and it is what she’s seen from other women as well. We’re living in a completely different day and time. Choosing the wrong man can literally destroy your life because the wrong man is sent to put a wedge between you and our relationship with Heavenly Father. So, I conveyed to her the wisdom of Ephesians 5:25(NKJV), “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Only a man sent by God can love a woman that way, so if God hasn’t given us the greenlight that the man we’re dealing with is the one that He sent, we need to press the pause button.

    Keep your heart

    Proverbs 4:23(NKJV) tells us to, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Whether we know it or not, our hearts belong to God. In truth, all that we are belongs to Him. In Proverbs 4:23, He is teaching us to be good stewards of our hearts, because our hearts determine the issues of life. Our Heavenly Father is not going to throw out all the bad stuff in our hearts, He tells us to do this. He’s given us free-will to make our own choices and decisions, and the very best thing we can do for ourselves is to do some housekeeping when it comes to our own hearts.

    We are the keepers of our own hearts. God warns us to steward them well. This means we must do our due diligence in making sure our hearts are filled with God’s love, because that is what’s most important to Him. A heart that pleases God is one where our love for Him is above our love for all others and everything else. He deserves this place of honor and much more because He is our Creator, and He gave His only begotten Son to rescue us from sin and darkness.

    In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God said to His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” No human being can know what is in another’s heart, but God knows all our hearts. He knows who and what we value most because He can investigate our hearts and see this. He also knows that our actions will follow what we value. We get up every morning and go to work because we value the paycheck and believe it improves the quality of our lives. We read and study God’s Word because we value the knowledge it gives us. We pray to God because we value God’s love and power and believe in His willingness to help us. Everything we do in life reflects what we value in our hearts, and to please God and keep them according to His standard, we must make sure our hearts are filled with His love.

    The treasure in your heart

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:20-21(NLT), “20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” This passage prompts us to examine what we are treasuring in our hearts. Some of us want to have a man so badly that we are willing to do just about anything to keep him. We assume this mindset because we have placed a high value on having a man. So, when God looks at our hearts, that’s what He sees. He sees that we are willing to disobey Him and obey the evil one who tempts us to sin through the man. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:19 that if our treasure is laid up in keeping the man through sin, the thief, who is the devil, will break that relationship and steal the joy of it away from us.

    2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” God is looking for hearts that are fully committed to Him. We don’t have to be perfect, but our love for God must be untainted. Some might call you old fashioned for taking a Godly approach, but we should never allow the words of others to hinder us from standing on God’s Word.

    The Lord knows our needs and desires. He knows us better than we could ever know ourselves, and He knows when and how to bless us. This includes the blessing of a man that He sends to walk with us through life. Understand that God is looking at your heart. Please be sure your love for Him is genuine, because it’s not enough to say that it is. Your love for Him will be put to the test, and you must have the patience and endurance to always choose to love God with all that you are, and you must love Him more than you love anyone else. When you do, your commitment to Him will be rewarded, and you will love the right man with the same commitment, loyalty, patience and grace that he has for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Let Your Love for God Be Genuine”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • What Happened to the Blessing?

    What Happened to the Blessing?

    Joel 2:25-26(NLT)
    “25 The LORD says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. 26 Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the LORD your God, who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced.”

    Whenever I read this verse, the first five words always stop me in my tracks. It reminds me that if God is giving us back what we’ve lost, we had to have lost it first. That’s not a good feeling. Then I read further, and God reassures us that He’s the One who does miracles for us, and He can make it so that we will never again be disgraced. That’s good news indeed! However, we can’t get to the second part if we overlook the first part of this verse. It’s the reality that God will restore what we’ve lost. Many of us are holding this promise in our hearts, as we should be, but as it relates to relationships, we may need to examine it more closely.

    Some of us are looking for God to restore something we’ve never had. In this passage in the Book of Joel, God’s people had once enjoyed the bounty of His blessing, but they lost it. We, too, are enjoying God’s bounty, but not so much in the area of relationships with men. We’re praying for restoration, but for some of us, we’ve never experienced the kind of quality relationship with a man that God wants us to have. So, it was never taken from us; therefore, it isn’t something we can get back. This seems relatively obvious, but our thinking around it isn’t always in line with faith and believing. Some of us are asking God, “What happened to the blessing?” When the truth is the relationship that we’re wanting to get back wasn’t the blessing we thought it was. It did more harm than good.

    We’ve seen others have wonderful relationships with their spouses, and even though we’ve been in relationships during our lives, we’ve never had a quality loving and lasting one for ourselves. We need to stop and think about that for a moment, because it really is time to leave the past behind.

    Exodus 6:9(AMP) sheds a little light on the mindset of some people that have been traumatized by their past, and because of it they refuse to move forward. God told Moses to tell the people that He is the Great I Am, and that He would free them from oppression and rescue them from slavery, but they would not listen to God. This verse says, “Moses told this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their impatience and despondency, and because of their forced labor.” They were impatient, and instead of believing in the power and goodness of our Heavenly Father, they rebelled in their minds. They saw their oppression bigger than God, and this is an offense to Him.

    The reality for many modern Christian women is that oppressive relationships with men is all they’ve ever known. We either chose the wrong man, or we didn’t know enough of God’s Word to walk in wisdom and maintain the relationship with faith, patience, and endurance. We didn’t know then, but we had certainly better make it a priority to know now. God is not in the business of restoring things that we have grown out of. He’s not going to pull old dead and worn out things from our past and bring them into the future. We shouldn’t want that for ourselves either.

    God told His prophet, Habakkuk to write down the vision He had given Him. He said in Habakkuk 2:2(NKJV), “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.” God had given His prophet a vision, and it wasn’t just for the period they were living in during Old Testament times, it was for us as well. God told Habakkuk to write it down so that those of us living today could read it, gain faith from it, and run the race that God has set before us. You must have a vision of what God has in store for you. In other words, you can’t have the memories of your past dancing all over your thoughts and believing, keeping you stuck in the wilderness like the Israelites.

    It’s not relationships with the men of your past that need to be restored. It’s your attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs about who you are in Christ and the blessings that God wants to give you; this is what needs to be upgraded. So often we allow the past to rule over us, but we’re different women today. Get it into your mind and heart that never again will God allow you to be disgraced. Pray that He will enlighten the eyes of your understanding about what is possible for you. Write the vision down and holdfast to it, because God is preparing you for a blessing that you will never lose.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Amplified Bble (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.

    “What Happened to the Blessing?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Let Us Continue to Love

    Let Us Continue to Love

    1John 4:7-10(NLT)
    “7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”

    Real love comes from God, and we know we have it in our hearts when we love others not based on how we feel about them, but how God feels about them. Our Heavenly Father wants us to go into our significant relationships with the truth of His overwhelming love for everyone already firmly anchored in our hearts. God demonstrated His great love for us when He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to offer himself as a sacrifice for our sins. If God made decisions based on how we feel about Him, Jesus Christ would never have come, because most people do not love Heavenly Father the way He deserves. Even when we are at our worse and do not love Him, He still loves us unconditionally. He expects His children to remember this with every breath we take, so that His perfect love works in us and helps us to truly love others.

    Dishonor

    1Corinthians 13:5(NLT) says that love “does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Many of us have known about or witnessed in relationships where the couple doesn’t honor one another. They do not regard each other in the highest esteem. Instead, at times they speak to one another with belittling and profane terms and have a bad attitude towards the other person when things don’t go their way. You may have had a relationship like this yourself. It’s not fun. It a signal that the two people in the relationship do not value each other or themselves in a Godly way.

    You matter, all day, every day. You matter not because you say so, but because God says so, and showed you this by giving Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for your sins. You matter to Him, and that is all that counts. In order for you to walk in faith, you must believe what God says about you. If you do, you will not invest in a relationship with someone that dishonors you by constantly putting you down rather than lifting you up. You shouldn’t want to be treated this way, and you most definitely should never treat anyone else that way. Love elevates, and that’s how you know it’s real.

    Selfish Agenda

    1Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love is not self-seeking. Real love does not have an agenda of selfishness. God’s purpose for marriage is that two people serve one another in a way that promotes loyalty, preserves unity, and stretches capacity. Marriage is going to stretch a person beyond the level of their perceived capability. If you miss this, you are in for a rollercoaster ride you won’t like. There are instances in a relationship where both individuals are giving equal levels of effort, time, and resources, but there are also times when there are varying levels of giving. There may be areas in the relationship where one partner is devoting 70 percent and the other 30 percent, and we need to be prepared for that.

    The thing to know is that when God has put two individuals together, Jesus Christ is the head of their union, and it is their responsibility to keep him there. Even during times when it appears that one partner is not all in, prayer is the answer, not bitterness or resentment. Playing the blame game or being sour and in our feelings because we didn’t get from our partner what we expected isn’t the way love behaves. God is our sufficiency, so we shouldn’t make a habit of expecting another individual to complete us, because no human being can do that. Real love does not allow expectations or personal agendas to hinder the other person’s peace and contentment. You must stretch your faith in God that He will take care of you as you serve your spouse and always do what is in their best interest according to the Will of God.

    Reciprocity

    Reciprocity is a practice of mutual exchange for mutual benefit. This is the emotional and spiritual goal that most have as they consider marriage. It’s responding to one another in a rewarding way. We didn’t set the precedent for this, God did. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:38(NIV), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full–pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” When we pour into the person that God has sent for us, they will pour into us. This isn’t something that we need to push or shove along. God takes care of this and its where our faith must be.

    The issue arises when we’re not with the person God has ordained for our lives. When this is the case, we might find ourselves giving and giving without receiving anything of significance in return. Real love always, always, always seeks God first, and real love allows HIM to direct our paths. This means that we don’t invest in men that God didn’t send because they are not yet equipped with the level of gratitude or the capacity to respond to us. Even if he’s a maybe, many of us will still make an ample investment and give too much of ourselves without a greenlight from Heavenly Father. We’ll see the rewards of our giving at some point down the road, but that man will not engage in reciprocity of our investment. He is the receiver of it but lacks what is needed to reciprocate.

    Whatever the case may be, we can never allow what our partners do, and how they respond to us, to stop us from continuing to love with the heart of Jesus Christ. For those relationships that ended, we must handle things and walk away with God’s love in our hearts for that person. We must carry no trace of that relationship’s fallout into the next one. We must also understand that even in relationships with the man that God has sent, there will be disappointments and unfulfilled expectations. There will be dry spots, mountains to climb, and bumps along the way. In all these, we have got to trust the power of God’s love, because it is real love, and real love never fails or gives up. Be committed to let God’s love lead you every step of the way in your desire for marital partnership. Anchor yourself in His love, so that wherever He leads on the path of His blessings, you have the humility and wisdom to follow. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Let Us Continue to Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Very Best for Our Lives

    The Very Best for Our Lives

    1Kings 3:7-9 (NLT) “7 Now, O Lord my God, you have made me king instead of my father, David, but I am like a little child who doesn’t know his way around. 8 And here I am in the midst of your own chosen people, a nation so great and numerous they cannot be counted! 9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”

    When Solomon became the king of Israel, he understood the gravity and weight of his responsibility. He knew that the people of Israel would look to him for guidance and leadership as their king, so, what did he do? He turned to God and prayed for discernment and wisdom to govern that great nation. Heavenly Father gave us free-will to make choices on our own, this means that we have the independence to choose which direction our life will go in. Solomon made a wise decision to ask God, who is intelligent beyond intelligence, to lead him in the right direction. While dating and marriage are not the same as ruling a kingdom, they still require the same mindset that Solomon had, which is to lean on God for answers and direction so that we don’t make a terrible mistake.

    In 1Kings 3:7-9, Solomon humbled himself before our Heavenly Father, and this is required of all of us. Proverbs 22:4(NLT) tells us, “True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life.” A humbled heart is the first business we must complete before we attempt any endeavor in life. Like Solomon, we must understand that God is the Leader, and we are the followers. No matter our age or level of maturity, we are still children who do not know their way around. God created us to be children that continually and always lean on their Father. 2Corinthians 3:5(NIV) schools us on this matter and tells us, “Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” Our Heavenly Father is our Source and sufficiency, and He is the supplier of all the blessings we possess and desire.

    All of us want what is best for our lives, but on our own, we don’t know what that is. The only thing we know for sure is that God supplies our needs, and we should lean on Him, especially when it comes to the right person to walk with us through life. God has a plan for the entire universe, and it is extraordinary. Our lives fit into that plan, and God reminds us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a good plan for us as well, and His plan will give us hope and a pleasing future. We should know that the wrong person can interrupt God’s plan for us. The wrong person can steal our peace and contentment and cause us to stumble and lose momentum on this Christian journey. We can prevent this and we should.

    This is one of the lessons that our past relationships teach us. We should have learned that the choice to do things on our own is not a workable strategy. It leads us down a troublesome path. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Blessings are added to us when we seek God first, and they are subtracted from us when we seek any other thing first, because when we seek people, relationships, and other things first, we open the door for the thief to rob us.

    Another very important lesson that we learn from our past relationships with the wrong person is that settling for less doesn’t work. As women of God, we deserve a man that will love us according to the level that we are capable of loving him. Settling for less than this sends the wrong message about us and about our capacity. If we are still in the posture of settling even today and haven’t elevated our minds, hearts, and faith, we’re setting ourselves up for more heartache.

    God commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. What does this mean? To be renewed in the spirit of our minds is to change the way we think. So, if we’re in the mindset of settling, that has to change. Our vision of what we can have and what our loving Heavenly Father wants to give us must be elevated. This means we need to study His Word and confess His promises so that what we say and confess is perfectly in sync with what He says. This is when we will see the power of God manifested in our lives.

    Every step we take to renew our minds and elevate our faith will be rewarded. Many of us want to live our lives exactly the way we see fit. We’re stuck in our habit patterns and refuse to accept that we can’t keep doing the same things and expect different results. God will not reward our refusal to spiritually grow and to stretch our vision to what is possible for us. We’re limiting God’s love from flowing from our hearts when we refuse to see ourselves as God sees us. He sees the best in us, and He wants to bless us with the very best. So, don’t think that God is making you wait for marriage. When we commit to deepen our relationship with Him and be humble to release the habits that are keeping us from growing in Christ, things will change. We’ll realize that we needed to be more motivated in the power of God’s love so that our minds and hearts would equal the blessing He had in store for our lives.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.

    “The Very Best for Our Lives”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.