Tag: the Mind of Christ

You Don’t Find the Right Man Without First Following the Right Voice

In Proverbs 4:4–5 (NLT), Solomon recalls the wisdom his father taught him: “Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.” This wasn’t casual instruction—it was direction meant to shape a life. And Solomon didn’t just hear it—he took it in, held onto it, and allowed it to guide how he moved. That’s the difference. Wisdom that sits on the surface won’t change anything. But wisdom that’s internalized will begin to govern your decisions.

And that matters more than we realize—especially when it comes to relationships.

Many of us are praying for a good, godly man, but we haven’t fully submitted to the wisdom that prepares us to recognize godly character and make wise relationship choices. We want the outcome, but we don’t always want the process. Yet Proverbs 4:7 (NLT) makes it plain: “Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.” You don’t make wise relationship choices by chance—you learn to make them by being led by God. Wisdom and discernment are what protect you from choosing based on emotion, timing, or pressure instead of truth.

Because if we’re honest, some of us have learned this the hard way.

We’ve followed what felt right. We’ve moved too quickly. We’ve overlooked what God was trying to show us because we wanted something to work. But God, in His mercy, doesn’t leave us there. He doesn’t define us by our past, but He does call us to grow from it. Internalizing His wisdom means that we do more than just acknowledge what went wrong—we allow His Word to reshape how we choose moving forward.

Jesus Christ makes the order clear in Matthew 6:33 (NLT): “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” That includes your relationships. Seeking God first doesn’t mean you’ll never have questions or make mistakes, but it does establish the order of your life. His Word becomes the standard that helps you recognize what honors Him, what doesn’t, and where your own desires may be influencing what you see.

So this isn’t just about waiting—it’s about alignment with God’s plan for you.

God already knows your future. He knows whether marriage is part of it, and He knows who you may one day marry. Nothing about your life is uncertain to God, even when it feels very uncertain to you. Nothing about your life is uncertain to Him, even when it feels very uncertain to you. But our impatience cannot be allowed to push us ahead of His wisdom. We don’t control how this comes together. We participate through obedience, through growth, and through trusting His timing even when it stretches us. Because real peace doesn’t come from finally having someone—it comes from knowing you didn’t step outside of God to get there.

And this is where we have to be careful.

The world has a lot to say about relationships—what’s acceptable, what’s normal, what’s worth tolerating. But God’s standard has never shifted. If we allow culture to shape our expectations, we’ll find ourselves accepting things that look good on the surface but are completely out of alignment with His Will. And that kind of compromise always costs more than we think.

So we have to release our grip. Not because we don’t care—but because we trust Him more than we trust ourselves.

Let God lead you. Let His Word correct the places where your thinking and choices need to change, and let His wisdom teach you how to move differently. When we really trust God’s wisdom, we stop trying to make things work that He hasn’t confirmed. We stop making excuses for things His Word tells us are wrong, and we stop convincing ourselves to settle just because we’re tired of waiting.

Trusting God’s wisdom doesn’t mean every decision about relationships will be easy. Sometimes you’re going to have to walk away when you really wanted to stay. There may be times when God is telling you to slow down when everything in you wants to move forward. And sometimes, you simply have to wait. This is why our confidence has to be in God and not in our feelings. His wisdom will always keep us aligned with His Will when we are willing to follow it.

At the end of the day, finding the right man can never become more important than following the right voice. We can’t ask God to lead us and then ignore Him when His direction isn’t what we wanted to hear. Jesus Christ must come first. When He does, we can trust God with who comes into our lives, who needs to leave, and everything in between. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Trusting God’s Wisdom for Relationships”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

There are inevitably days when being single feels like it’s outstayed its welcome. Longing for the companionship of a husband, you yearn for those days to pass quickly and never return. “Lord, how much longer must I wait?” you ask. The truth of Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) gives us much-needed encouragement: “7 But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. 8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” God remains steadfast and faithful as we go through our ups and downs, but we must know that His focus is on our soul’s ultimate transformation and growth during this period of waiting.

Our Heavenly Father deserves our unwavering confidence and faith in Him, extending way beyond the anticipation of a long-awaited partner in life. In Philippians 4:19 (NLT), the Apostle Paul testifies of God’s power, provision, and faithfulness: “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father promises to take care of all our needs, and when He makes a promise to us, He’s not going to waver back and forth. He always keeps His promises.

One of the underlying truths of all blessings is that God can’t be rushed. His timing is perfect, and this truth is the conduit through which all blessings are delivered. Waiting to meet and develop a relationship with our marital partner is a part of trusting God’s timing and plan for our lives.

Preparation

The reality of life is that God doesn’t force things to happen. If this was His way, then we’d most likely be born already saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. We’d come out of the womb knowing His Word fully, but we all know that this isn’t the case. God waits on us to grow and learn, and to ultimately make the choice to love Him for ourselves.

Waiting allows us to grow spiritually and personally, becoming the kind of person who is prepared for a healthy relationship. Personal struggles with doubts, wrong believing, and negative habit patterns can hinder a relationship from flourishing in Christ. Galatians 5:24 (NLT) says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” Many of us haven’t done this. We’ve not made it a priority to seek God through prayer and studying His Word in order to renew our minds and nail the passions and desires of our sinful nature to the cross.

If we haven’t demonstrated a deep commitment to God during our singleness, it may be challenging to maintain that commitment once married. This shortfall can have long-term consequences, leading to heartbreak and pain for everyone involved.

Purpose and Alignment

Romans 8:28 (NLT) is a powerful and comforting message about the assurance and faithfulness of God in the lives of believers: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” This verse reminds us that God is the One with the plan for each of us, including the timing of when the right person will enter our lives. Waiting acknowledges that God orchestrates circumstances, our spiritual readiness, and the readiness of the other person to align perfectly according to His purpose. It’s a period of trusting His timing and preparing ourselves spiritually and emotionally for what He has in store.

Even though it may not seem evident to us, God is orchestrating events behind the scenes to align both partners with His purpose, ensuring their relationship starts on a solid foundation. Waiting allows these divine aspects to unfold naturally, but we’re not to sit around twiddling our thumbs. Instead, we should be partnering with God through our faith and diligence.

Not giving up hope despite delays or setbacks, cultivating patience, acquiring new skills, and using the waiting period as an opportunity to serve others and contribute positively to their lives; these are the kinds of diligent effort that our Heavenly Father rewards. So, by practicing diligence during the wait, we align ourselves with God’s purposes and position ourselves to receive His blessings in His perfect timing.

God tells us that those who trust in Him are like trees planted by the river. Unaffected by tough times, we remain anchored in Him, productive and nurtured by Him continually through Christ. He can’t be rushed, but He will be pleased by our efforts to use our time as singles as a season of preparation and growth. It’s an opportunity to surrender our desires to God’s timing and guidance, knowing that His plans are ultimately for our good and His glory. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Can’t Be Rushed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT) beautifully portrays the value of a virtuous and capable wife: “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Many hold this verse as the gold standard for what a man should seek in a woman. It’s God’s standard, timeless and true, and for women that are devoted to God, it serves as a benchmark that we should strive to embody.

These verses show us that God’s Will for relationships, especially marriage, is for them to be meaningful and fulfilling. His standard of honor, devotion, and dedication is as important for the woman as it is for the man, but in these verses, He’s dealing with the role of a wife. His description of the honorable character He expects her to possess shows us how much she should mean to her husband and the positive impact she should have on his life. This passage reminds us that God’s plans are always perfect and purposeful, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s a beautiful picture of how He designed marriage to be a source of support, love, and growth for both partners.

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33 (NLT) to: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” God never makes mistakes. This profound directive by our Lord and Savior is in God’s Word because our Heavenly Father requires us to adhere to it with all that we are. As women, we prioritize God and His Kingdom by doing what He says and following the standards He has set for us. Many of us have allowed the world and its standards to infiltrate our hearts and minds, and we are assimilating it into a lifestyle that shuns holiness. The danger of this lack of allegiance is that it will taint every aspect of our lives. It stagnates our blessings and cheats us out of our heart’s desire.

2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) informs and describes how the wrong beliefs can keep our eyes blinded from the truth: “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.”

It’s common to hear women lament that all men are alike and that good ones are hard to find, but this is a matter of perception, and is not steeped in the truth. Our eyes must be open to the perfection, holiness, purity, omnipotence, and glory of God’s being in order for them to perceive the opportunities and blessings that embracing the truth of Him reveal. It should not be a surprise to us that the enemy wants to keep us blinded and following the world’s standards, so that we are continually separated from the blessings of God. We should wholeheartedly reject the tricks of the enemy, and cling to God and His Word.

God never makes mistakes. He doesn’t forget about the needs and desires of His daughters. There is a plethora of good men who are looking for good women, but we must be clear that our hearts must be sold out to faith in God. We must demonstrate this through our allegiance to seek Him first and to live by what He has said in His Word. This is not a burdensome undertaking, but a glorious one! When we prioritize God and align our lives with His truth, we open ourselves to His best for us in every aspect, including relationships. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Never Makes Mistakes”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Ephesians 5:15 (NLT) delivers a powerful truth: “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” This verse reminds us that God sees it all, and He’s watching not just what we do but also our faith and love. He knows the motivation behind every choice and action we make, and when we’re careful how we live, our faith and love towards God will manifest in our lives in a powerful way!

Let me introduce you to Yvonne’s journey towards this realization. She’s the epitome of a multitasker—juggling motherhood, a job as a travel agent, moonlighting as a hair braider, and a dedicated member of her church’s choir.  But what truly sets her apart isn’t just her busy schedule; it’s her knack for making everyone feel at home in her braiding chair. People spill their life stories to her, knowing she’s a vault of trust. She learned early on that gossiping wasn’t her style—partly because it’s messy, but also because her grandma drummed into her that God isn’t a fan of this practice at all.

After hearing so many of her clients’ stories of heartbreak and mistakes, Yvonne offered a consoling ear, but she was also making mental notes and praying to the Lord that she would never find herself in their situations. The wisdom of Micah 6:8 (NLT) says, “The LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Yvonne’s grandmother taught her this very basic tenet of our faith. We must do what is right, love acts of compassion, forgiveness, and kindness, and we must throw arrogance to the wind and always be humble towards our Heavenly Father. This Godly wisdom had been Yvonne’s backbone and helped to guide her out of many of the challenges she had faced in life. Recently, though, she’s been struggling with it.

Two years after her divorce, her last relationship was another crash course in heartache. She dove in heart first, only to spend months picking up the pieces. Her grandma’s voice echoed in her head, urging her to wise up and stop chasing after the wrong things, but that voice was drowned out by Yvonne’s refusal to let this man go and obey God.

A pattern of on-again-off-again summed up many of her other client’s relationships, and some of them were dating the same man and didn’t even know it. They relentlessly pursued men that were non-committal and unfaithful. Yvonne had vowed to never allow herself to be taken in like that, but there she was—stalking, obsessed over a man who simply wasn’t interested in loving her.

Jesus Christ states in Matthew 6:33(NLT): “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This isn’t just a piece a wisdom to be placed on a shelf somewhere; it’s a game-changer! Our commitment to the Father must be wholehearted. God is watching. He sees our hearts, and they tell Him the condition of our love and faith towards Him. Don’t be unwise and let the enemy trap you by fooling you into idolatry. Get your head and heart into living this life of Christ and become more grounded in your love and faith towards God.

Instead of blindly following our emotions, we need to question our motives, learn from our blunders, and stick close to God’s Word. Yvonne woke up, switched gears, and surrendered her all to the Lord, and this is the move many of us desperately need to make, especially at this juncture in our lives. As we grow older, we must realize that time is a precious commodity. We can’t afford to waste it stumbling through life. Whether we missed out on life lessons or chose to ignore them, we can’t hit rewind. As women of God, we’ve got to be strategic, walking in wisdom, truth, and God’s guidance every step of the way. This is the path that pleases Him, and it will always lead to His blessings and peace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Is Always Watching”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Not Everything Needs an Audience

Luke 16:10 (NLT) reminds us of something that reaches deeper than we often realize: “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” This isn’t just about money or tasks—it’s about stewardship of everything God entrusts to us, including our relationships. Spiritual maturity shows up in how we handle what looks small. Because what we do in private…is never actually small in the eyes of God.

And this is where many of us have to slow down and be honest.

We can be quick to bring people into spaces God never told us to open—especially when it comes to relationships. There’s a temptation to talk too soon, share too much, and invite opinions before we’ve even sought God fully. Giving people front-row access to something that’s still forming can introduce confusion, pressure, and unnecessary interference. Not everything needs commentary. Some things need covering—the kind that thrives in discretion.

I remember someone once said to me, “You’re really good at keeping people out of your business.” At first, I didn’t know how to take that. But over time, I realized—it wasn’t distance, it was discernment. There’s a difference between being open and being unguarded. One is led by wisdom…the other isn’t.

Wisdom knows when to speak…and when to be still. Proverbs 13:3 (NLT) tells us, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” That’s not just about avoiding trouble—it’s about preserving what God is doing. Because once something is spoken, it’s no longer just between you and God. It’s been released into other minds, other interpretations, and other influences.

And we have to understand—everything doesn’t need to be exposed in order to grow properly.

If we’re not careful, we’ll assume every voice around us is there to help—but Scripture shows us that’s not true. In Job’s life, it wasn’t just loss he was dealing with—the enemy was actively at work, and the wrong voices showed up right on time. Job 2:2 (NLT) says, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” That’s not symbolic—that’s strategy. The enemy watches—he looks for openings, and when he finds one, he doesn’t always come directly—sometimes he works through people. That’s why discernment isn’t optional. We’re not called to live in fear, but we are called to live aware—and to move with wisdom about who we allow to speak into what God is doing in our lives.

Wisdom knows how to guard what God is building.

This is why discretion matters. Not fear. Not secrecy. But Spirit-led restraint. Some things are meant to be prayed through before they’re spoken about. Some things need time to take root before they’re shared. And some things are simply meant to remain between you and God.

When we lack discernment, we can unintentionally expose what should have been covered. But when we walk in wisdom, we create space for God to move without interference, without noise, and without unnecessary pressure.

So instead of asking, “Who can I tell?”—we start asking, “Lord, what are You saying?”

Because faith requires focus. And focus requires guarding what God has placed in your hands.

Not everything needs an audience.
And everything God gives deserves to be handled with care. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Eyes Are on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.