Find A Christian Man

Tag: the Mind of Christ

  • I’ve Been Single Long Enough

    I’ve Been Single Long Enough

    “It’s still too early to tell, but I really like this guy I’m seeing…” Vanessa, a good friend I’ve known for many years, confided in me. Despite her hopefulness, she harbors a hint of pessimism, fearing that any man she meets might ultimately disappoint her, leaving her single and unmarried for yet another year.

    Matthew 6:34 (ESV) advises us, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” However, convincing a 43-year-old single Christian woman not to be anxious about dating a new man can be met with skepticism. She may push back with words like, “Grrl! Do you know how long I’ve been single?” Yet, while we may think we know what’s best for us, God truly understands every aspect of our being, from head to toe. He knows all about our years of being single.

    Older, more mature women often have a clear idea of the qualities they desire in a partner: financial stability, gainful employment, faithfulness, and readiness for marriage. On the other hand, younger Christian women tend to be more fearless, willing to take risks and chances in their dating lives. Despite these differences, both groups share one commonality: the belief that waiting for God’s approval yields the best outcomes in partnerships.

    1John 4:19(NKJV) eloquently and plainly states: “We love Him because He first loved us.” God is love, and He has created everything out of His unwavering love for us all. Romans 5:5 tells us that God has poured His love into our lives through His precious Holy Spirit. We, then, must understand that love never originates from external sources because its true foundation lies within us through Jesus Christ. So, the first step in accepting love for oneself is surrendering to the love of Jesus. Loving him, making him Lord, is the greatest thing any of us can ever do in this life; it’s relinquishing control and entrusting our lives to the one who loved us first.

    Romans 10:9-10 (NKJV) establishes this truth: “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

    Over the years, I’ve encountered many single women hoping that the next man they meet will be “the one” to validate years of waiting. However, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not someone else’s responsibility to shape and define the love we expect to receive. If we’re not accustomed to putting God first and loving ourselves and others through His love, distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy love becomes challenging. We then become a slave to feeling around in the dark, not truly knowing who’s going to hurt or hinder our hearts.

    God offers us a better approach. He tells us in Philippians 4:6-7(NLT): “6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers is part of surrendering to God’s plan. It takes courage and strength to believe that God’s way is best. No human being is perfect; we all have room for growth, which is why partnering with someone requires that we are prepared with spiritual strength and the flexibility of God’s love.

    Many are firm in their conviction, “I’ve been single long enough!” They believe it’s time for a change, and indeed it is. We must acknowledge that confronting our vulnerabilities and insecurities with faith is a mandate from God; we won’t get away from this. For some, it’s a fear of being perceived as inadequate or unlovable. Others of us simply haven’t made the kind of commitment to Him that God seeks. It all comes down to our faith in Him. It must grow. Embracing this truth should motivate us to greater love and dispel any doubt that God will bless us in life and marriage. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “I’ve Been Single Long Enough”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • When Love Turns Sour

    When Love Turns Sour

    One of the lessons that we quickly learn as adults is that relationships require work, and sometimes lots of it. Most of us conclude that we grossly underestimated just how much work it takes to make a relationship last. When we’re dating, we might find ourselves being the one that makes an ample investment into the man’s life, and sometimes that investment isn’t equally reciprocated. Thinking about walking away is very challenging, but we must be clear that mishandling things at this vulnerable juncture is never wise. The love we had for this man can sour and turn to bitterness. When that happens, our own fellowship with God is in jeopardy. We lose the heart and authority to be an effective witness of Christ in the life of someone that we could have influenced and impacted profoundly for God’s Kingdom. This is dangerous, and we really need to think things through.

    In Luke 17:1-4(NLT), Jesus Christ taught the disciples, “1There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

    In this passage, “one of these little ones” is a person that God has predestined as one of His own. Some believe that he is referring to young children only, but Jesus is referring to all God’s children, especially those that are just getting started  in the Word and learning the Way. All of us are offended at some point, this is true, but Jesus warns that woe is the fate of someone that causes spiritual infants to become so offended in the faith that they fall into sin.

    Many of us claim to have our eyes so steadfastly fixed upon the Master, but when a man comes into our lives, some of us forget who we are. Meeting someone new and having a relationship with him is not a time to let our stand on the solid rock to slip, especially when we’re not clear about what we’re working with while dating. Our eyes must be fixed upon Jesus Christ no matter who is in our lives or what our agendas may be. God commands us in 1Corinthians 16:13(NKJV) to “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.” We can never let our guards down in a relationship. The love of Christ should be our first priority, and it must be the lasting witness we leave on anyone we meet.

    James 1:22(NLT) tells us, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” We can be sure of one thing; the love of God in Christ never sours. If we’re unsure about that truth, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re obligated by Christ to love others with his brand of love, not our own. 1Corinthians 13:4 tells us that his love—real, true, authentic love—is forgiving, kind, keeps no record of being wronged and doesn’t demand its own way. If this isn’t the love we’re prepared to give to the man we desire, it isn’t the love we should expect to receive.

    It’s entirely possible that “One of these little ones” is the person we’re dating, and if we place our agenda ahead of God’s agenda for their lives, we’re not behaving like doers of the Word but deceiving ourselves. It’s our responsibility as believers to guard our hearts so that we don’t get out of pocket and change the trajectory of a man’s relationship with God. We must pray for this not to happen so that we are the kind of witnesses God is pleased with.

    Ephesians 6:11(NKJV) tells us, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It would be naïve of us to think that the enemy will not try to make our hearts, or the hearts of our boyfriends, sour in our relationships. We should know that this is his target, and if we allow him to win in one relationship, we will most likely do it in others. God offers us a better way and it is to put on the whole armor that He provides. We must be diligent to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ, so that if our hearts grow sour in any relationship we are blessed to cultivate, we will turn them to the sweetness of Christ through forgiveness, patience, and a desire to always put God first. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When Love Turns Sour”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few

    The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few

    Matthew 9:37-38(NLT)
    “He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.””

    The word, “harvest” is a very good one, and a good harvest is a very beautiful thing. Harvest is connected to increase, and increase is what many of us are praying to receive in this season of our lives. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 9:38 to pray to the Lord that is in charge of the harvest, and he doesn’t stop there. He tells us exactly what we ought to be praying for. We should be praying that God will send more workers in the field. Jesus also makes it plain to us that our Heavenly Father is the Owner of the harvest, the fields, and the workers, and this is a very important piece of knowledge for us to have.

    During the time in which he walked the earth, in Matthew 9:37, Jesus Christ told the disciples that the harvest was great, but the workers that were needed to bring in the harvest were few. This is very much the condition of our time as well. There is so much confusion and despair in the world today. It’s chaotic and dark, with divisions and strife everywhere. People desperately need the kind of direction and guidance that our God can give, and it’s our responsibility and privilege to share the saving grace of our Father in Heaven. We might think to ourselves, “It’s not that many people out there that truly want to know about Jesus.” None of us can really say whether this is true or not, but even if this number is shrinking, as followers of Christ, it isn’t our concern.

    God is in charge of the harvest. He takes care of that. Our responsibility is to do as He has commanded. We must make sure that we haven’t missed a beat when it comes to following the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and that as laborers in God’s fields, we have used our span of influence to bless and uplift according to the Spirit’s direction. There should be no doubt in our minds that discipleship is extremely important to backing our faith and positioning ourselves to please God.

    Jesus Christ told the disciples in Mark 16:15(NLT), “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.” This is the Great Commission, to share the Gospel, make disciples of those who want to accept Christ, and teach them so they can be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is how we partner with God, and 2Corinthians 6:1(NLT) says, “As God’s partners, we beg you not to accept this marvelous gift of God’s kindness and then ignore it.” When we have accepted the gift of salvation, we can’t ignore it by keeping it to ourselves. It’s the love of God in Christ! We are required to share it. This is the one crucial truth that many single believers miss.

    We must understand that a heart that is eager and diligent to carry forth the Great Commission is the same heart that God requires in a man and woman before they marry. The harvest, the field, and the workers all belong to our Heavenly Father, and 1Corinthians 3:9 tells us that we are both God’s workers and His field. So, it’s not about our agendas, it’s about God’s Will and plan. 1Corinthians 3:7 says that the one who plants aren’t more important than the One who waters. Our Heavenly Father is our everything! It’s all about Him, and when we commit ourselves to the work that He’s called us to do, we will witness a harvest in every area of our lives.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Harvest is Great, but the Workers Are Few”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!

    Lately, my youngest daughter has been singing a familiar tune around the house. It’s new to her but not to me. It’s an oldie but goodie, and it encourages us not to worry about a thing, because everything is going to be alright. When I asked my daughter how she knew the song, she said her teacher sings it with them at the beginning of their class. “It gets us motivated in the mornings.” She said. Whenever her classmates feel like something isn’t working out, they sing that song to themselves. I thought to myself that if kids that young are learning how to motivate themselves to get beyond the challenges they face, as adults, we have no excuse.

    There’s no question about it, life gives us a workout. It can take you to the brink of wanting to give up. Your brain is tired, your body is tired, and your emotions are teetering on breakdown. When you’re at this point, you don’t want to think about anything, and you certainly don’t want to hear that you need to change in some way. You might think, “Lord, if I hear one more person tell me there’s something about myself that needs to change or that I need to change my thoughts, I’m going to scream.” You might know at least a dozen people that have been the same folks they’ve always been. They’ve had annoying and negative qualities ever since you’ve known them. They haven’t changed one bit, yet they seem to be just as blessed as they want to be.

    It might seem that God is picking on you, because life just doesn’t want to cooperate when you desperately need it to. Relationship breakups, meeting men that seem nice at first but quickly lose interest and enduring those long stretches of loneliness can take a toll on your self-esteem. You don’t believe you have it in you to keep pushing and pressing, and you don’t want to hear about one more thing you have to change in order to be someone’s wife.

    Believe it or not, these are normal responses. Most people don’t like change, and they are not fans of holding themselves up to the scrutiny of higher standards. But this is unavoidable in the Christian walk, because the Christian walk is about growth, and the higher standard is set by the example of Christ. The first thing you must know is that you really can’t compare the journey that God has set for you with someone else’s spiritual journey. You might think that others are not enduring the same frustrations and challenges that you are, but that isn’t true. Life forces everyone to grow whether they want to or not. This is the way God created life to operate, and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change it, nor should we want to. Anything that doesn’t grow will die. So, if we’re not thriving in Christ, growing to be more like him every day, then we’re on the losing side.

    In Romans 12:2(NIV), God tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” It isn’t God’s Word that is making us feel exhausted and disillusioned with life. It is the cares of the world that is doing this to us. Our Heavenly Father warns us not to get boggled down with that stuff. He commands us to renew our minds by changing the way we think. We will never get away from this process. You will never get to a point where you know enough about Christ. And you will never get done with having to deal with some of the discomfort of finding out things about yourself that aren’t pretty and then having to change them. God’s Will for you is to keep learning more about Jesus Christ so you can line up with his example.

    Galatians 1:4 tells us that Jesus Christ gave himself for our sins in order to rescue us from this present evil age because this was the Will of our Father. God is cleaning us up because we need to be cleaned up, and we couldn’t possibly do it ourselves. He is preparing us for the treasure we’re slated to receive, and we need to let Him do this. We have to know that it’s going to require us to be flexible and agile, not stiff and hardened against what God is doing in our hearts through His Holy Spirit.

    He tells us in Ephesians 4:23 to be made new in the spirit of our minds. This is a process, and it is a ‘reprogramming to God’s Word’ that will run throughout the rest of our lives. God commands us in Ephesians 5:8 to walk as children of light, and He is committed to helping us do this. Our problem is that we don’t believe God is helping us in a way that will yield a beautiful blessing. We call His glorious process of transformation a burden, yet when the world demands that we change to meet its standard, we’ll spend all types of money for a new fix. We have to change our priorities.

    God tells us in Galatians 6:9(NIV), “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The reason that God encourages us not to give up is because many of us are in fact weary in doing good. We want the pleasure without the sacrifice. We must turn our weariness to excitement and faith, because our God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. If we continue to press, we will receive the treasure.

    Don’t look at what others are doing or what they may or may not be going through. They are not you. They don’t have the destiny you have. Keep your eyes stayed on Jesus Christ. They can’t have your prize and you can’t have theirs. What God has for you is indeed for you. Allow Him to condition you. Lean on God and let Him show you what He will do. You may feel as though you’re at the brink of exhaustion in every way but take pleasure in the “YOU” that you are becoming. Your treasure is worth it, and so are you.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Lord Sees It Differently

    The Lord Sees It Differently

    1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
    “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his older sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were taller, hardworking,  and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

    I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their idea of how he should look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and overall level of attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they’ve had in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

    This can be a challenge to work through, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God has set those according to His plan for your life. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” His desire is that we prioritize what He deems important at the top of our lists, because He always knows what is best for us. If we don’t line up our thoughts and convictions to give God the highest place of authority in our quest for marriage, we will keep ourselves separated from the blessing we desire.

    Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of being dissatisfied with the outcomes of our choices and decisions. Heavenly Father deserves all the glory! He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. He never makes a mistake, and His delight is to bless His children. He never intended us to navigate life on our own. Walking and talking with Him, and receiving His divine leadership and guidance was always the kind of relationship He wanted with us. Yes, we may be adults and able to make decisions for ourselves, but God sees it differently. He sees us as children who need His help to live a successful life of faith. He is willing to help us cross paths with the person that is right for us, and He will help us with any other issues or desires. He will always steer us in the right direction, and we must put Him in His rightful place of honor as He guides us to higher blessings through our faith and obedience to His Word. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Lord Sees It Differently”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Is Waiting on You

    Romans 8:29(NIV) says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Many believers underestimate God’s allegiance to this verse and some even think He will negotiate with them over it. God’s goal for everyone is to become the very image of Christ. This earth experience gives us the opportunity to line up our souls with God’s Word so that our souls will be transformed; this must be our most important mission in life. Heavenly Father blesses His kids, there can be no doubt about this. He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Christ, and He hasn’t withheld any good thing from us. Our job is to never forget that our blessings are contained in the example of Christ. He is the mold from which we are cast, and we are cloned to the image of Christ by our obedience. 2Corinthians 10:6 affirms that obedience to God is the way to demolish the darkness that seeks to tear us down. The example of Jesus Christ represents our Heavenly Father’s faith in us. It’s our ticket to happiness and all the other blessings He has in store.

    We can’t do things our own way and stamp it with ‘Success!’ Life never works out when we try to rely on our own effort to bring things together. Heavenly Father tells us in Romans 8:28 that HE is the One that causes all things to work together for our good. If He is for us, who can be against us?!!! It is our Almighty and Powerful God who justified us in Christ, and nothing can separate us from His love. As a single believing woman, you may have thought about taking your quest for marriage into your own hands. You may want to rush things along because you feel that God is taking too long. That can never be. God is perfect and His timing is impeccable but rest assured that He is not withholding your blessing. He is not making you wait year after year for it. Some of us are stuck in wait-mode longer than we’d like because we’ve decided to go at our own pace when it comes to conforming to the image of Christ.

    Being 100% honest, we’d have to admit that many of us spend more time on social media and dating sites than we do reading God’s Word. We want to be entertained and not instructed, and that’s a problem because in order for our faith to increase, we must hear and perceive the Word of God. Romans 10:17 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing God’s Word. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:19-20 not to lay up treasures on the earth, but to lay them up in heaven, where they can be stored. These treasures, if they are worthy, are what we’re putting away in God’s storehouse, therefore, the glory of them are on full display before Him. Our treasures are the tally sheet for how we walk in Christ and for what we are doing for the Kingdom. Our treasures represent what is in our hearts, for Jesus declared in Matthew 6:21(KJV) “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” What does God see when He looks at what you’re treasuring? What does it tell Him about your heart?

    In Matthew 12:25(NLT), Jesus Christ said “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” He then went on to say that on judgment day, we must give an account of everything we’ve done on this earth. Some of our accounts are in really bad shape right now. We haven’t stored up enough treasure in heaven, we haven’t put the Kingdom of God in first place, and we haven’t made our relationship with Him our number one priority. Instead, we’ve done our own thing. We can’t lie to God. We can’t make excuses, because He sees everything we do, and He knows everything there is to know about our hearts. God is not looking at us and shaking His finger with disapproval. He’s rooting for us, saying, “Come on, daughter. Get in my Word so you can understand who you are in Christ and what you should be doing to bear fruit in his powerful name!”

    Hebrews 2:1(NLT) teaches us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” We should never make this mistake; we can never forget the truth that we’ve heard, nor can we drift away from it for the sake of human companionship. As spiritually mature men and women in Christ, experience has taught us what happens when we allow ourselves to drift away from God’s Word. We lose our spiritual zeal and become distracted. The intimacy in our relationship with God weans, and if we continue down that road for too long, we begin to sabotage our blessings. The price of this is much too high to pay.

    We have an adversary that would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in the victory of Christ. For this reason, we must never take our eyes off God and His love for us. Psalm 91:1(NLT) affirms, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” To live in God’s shelter and find rest in His shadow, you and I must stay close to Him through His Word. It’s our responsibility to saturate our mind and heart with His love and live in Godliness.

    He’s giving us opportunity after opportunity, chance after chance, to get busy fulfilling our call. He doesn’t want us to leave this earth without making the impact we are destined to make in Christ. Romans 8:19(NLT) tells us, “For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.” We need to recognize that everything around us; relationships, people, circumstances, environments, and conditions are waiting on us to rise up and produce what Christ gave his life for us to bring forth. So, we are not really in wait-mode. God is waiting on us to rise up and take our rightful place. How can we rush the delivery of the blessing when we have refused to produce fruit? Don’t try to follow what someone else has done or is doing. Walk in the Spirit for yourself and do what God has called YOU to do, so that you bring Him glory and receive what He has for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God Is Waiting on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Praying to Cross His Path

    Praying to Cross His Path

    For a single Christian woman that is praying to cross paths with her future husband, if you haven’t met him yet, then you’re still in the process of spiritual preparation. You still have the awesome privilege to continue receiving guidance and instruction from the Holy Spirit. He prepares you to be the wife that God wants you to be. Many single sisters in Christ have questioned this. They don’t understand why spiritual preparation is necessary for marriage, and if it is, why is it taking so long? Spiritual preparation consists of the steps we take through Jesus Christ to be strengthened in his faith, power, and ability. Jesus Christ teaches in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given much is required. Heavenly Father has called each of us to be good stewards of His blessings, and we certainly can’t satisfy this if we lack the spiritual strength and maturity to get it done.

    Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV) says, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Diligently seeking God is required to receive His rewards. Anything less than what He requires will not do. Believers and unbelievers alike attempt to butt up against this truth, but it is unyielding. God has a plan for each of us. Age, background, status, or any other human standard doesn’t matter. The Will of God requires that our feet are firmly planted on the path to God’s purpose in order to receive His rewards. One of the ways we ensure we’re on this path is to examine and correct the actions we’re taking to make room for the husband we hope to meet.

    Don’t be a wanderer
    The children of Israel wandered around in circles in the desert for 40 years because they couldn’t get on board with having faith in God. Heavenly Father’s Word tells us that they were so indoctrinated with the mindset of their prior enslavement that they wouldn’t handle the task of changing their thought paradigm. The practice of wandering was more comfortable to them than the practice of reaching and stretching forth to newness. They refused to release old dead things, and therefore were ill-prepared with the spiritual strength to reach out and grab what God promised. It was their responsibility to prepare, and they refused to do it. Because of this refusal, those who would not change did not receive the promise.

    God is perfect, and so is His path and purpose. The plan He has for your life is a good plan, but it is in no way arbitrary or random. We can’t do whatever we want to do and expect that it fulfills our call. The question to ask is whether we have the humility to ask God what He requires us to do and whether we have the patience to wait for His answer. We can’t keep wandering, being inconsistent and vacillating back and forth in our obligation to the faith. God requires more of us, and we must seek Him and be guided by Him to achieve His purpose. Our spiritual growth in Christ is what’s most important to God, and He is going to require us to lean into Him in a greater way and to step outside our comfort zones to seek His purpose.

    Don’t misuse the gift
    1Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT) says,“3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

    We can think, say, and feel however we like on the subject of sexual intimacy, but God is the only One who can set the standard for how this aspect of marriage should be handled. Whether we want to admit it or not, corporately, we’re paying a hefty price for taking what God ordained for marriage and using it for quick pleasure with individuals that were never destined to be our spouses. Heavenly Father specifically tells us in 1Corinthians 7:4 that a woman has authority over her body. He commands that she give this authority to her husband, and the husband will do the same. In your quiet time, make a mental note of the individuals that were not your husband, yet you gave them this authority in the past. Forgive yourself for your errors in judgement, but most importantly, repent for misusing the gift of your incredible womanhood to appease someone who didn’t honor you the way Christ does.

    The husband that God has ordained for your destiny is worthy of the authority you are commanded by God to give him. Now is the time to honor your future husband, even though you may not have crossed his path. Make a commitment that you will not give to another what belongs to him alone.

    Marriage belongs to God, don’t try to take it
    Loneliness, isolation, unfulfilled desires and dreams, these are among the many things that can make us feel sad. Understand with all that you are that there is no cure for all that makes us sad outside of Jesus Christ. He is the answer and following him leads us to freedom in every area of our lives. All things have been placed under his feet, and this includes marriage. It doesn’t matter how many dating sites a single person has signed up for, if the person she meets isn’t aligned with God’s plan for her life, this person will not be the blessing she hopes he will be.

    Marriage belongs to God. It brings glory to Him or else He would not have sanctioned it. How much faith do you have in the institution of marriage that God has ordained, and how willing are you to change in order to have the kind of marriage God wants you to have? Jesus Christ is our example, and this example is not outdated in the least bit. The example of Christ is life for us, and we can only access the more than abundant life by living in and through him. Are you willing and able to offer another individual the love of Christ in such a way that they are inspired to keep him continually at the center of their lives? Even if you’re not quite there, you must be on your way. The spiritual disciplines you practice must be firmly anchored in your everyday life, so that you are not moved from Christ, no matter who loves you or who doesn’t.

    Make no mistake, God is more committed to preserve and protect you than you are to preserve and protect yourself. He knows that the wrong person can cause you dreadful harm and the right person can cause you tremendous good. Make sure you never attempt to take what belongs to God and make it your own. Don’t try to get ahead of the Holy Spirit, for that is always a reckless and futile endeavor. Focus on God by staying in His Word, praying often, and following the example of Christ. Heavenly Father knows how to bless us with marriage. He does it His way, and His way alone. Be dutiful to stay in your lane. Honor the privilege and responsibility to remain spiritually prepared for what God has in store. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Praying to Cross His Path”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

    You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

    If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.

    Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.

    Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?

    Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.

    Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.

    So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking.  Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.

    It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”

    This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

    God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

    I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.

    Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.

    Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.

    We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.

    A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.

    We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.

    One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.

    Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.

    Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.

    Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.

    Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Should You Pursue A Man?

    Should You Pursue A Man?

    Whether or not a woman should pursue a man is a question that many women have been asking a long time. I’ve had this conversation with a few of my friends, and one of them was very adamant about her approach. She was divorced a few years ago and has loved being single. Admittedly, she’d like to marry again one day, but until it happens, she believes a woman has the responsibility of making things happen for herself. Known for her brazenness, it was no surprise to hear her say that she’s not one to wait on the man to make the first move. She said, “God gave you the ability to know what fits your needs, so if you see something you like, go for it.”

    There are really two important troubled spots that we want to avoid in relationships with the significant people in our lives. One of them is heartache, and the other is a collision that lands you outside of God’s Will for your life. Both can send you catastrophically down the wrong path, where you could potentially spend the rest of your life paying for mistakes that could have been avoided.

    Romans 8:29-30(NLT) says, “29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” Look at God’s thoughts about us, and the wonderful plan He laid out for our lives. Long before we were born, He already knew all there is to know about us. We didn’t choose Him first, He chose us first, and He called us to come to Him. God didn’t leave our destinies to chance. He launched them further back in time than we can imagine. This is the framework that He has ordained for how we should approach our life’s journey. Everything about our lives should line up with His plan.

    God has been gracious beyond what any of us could ever deserve, and He’s given us many blessings, but He didn’t give us the faith of Jesus Christ to promote our own agendas. He gave it to us to promote His agenda. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. So, if we leave our destinies up to our own ability to know what fits our needs, we could end up in a destination that takes us outside of God’s Word. That’s a dangerous place to be.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” There are two very important keys in the truth Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:8, and we can never afford to forget them. Number one, our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need, and number two, He’s the One to ask when it comes to fulfilling every need that we perceive. We don’t just run off trying to fulfill them ourselves. The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 3:5(NLT), “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

    God’s Word is not old fashioned. It’s life! Thank Heavenly Father for His Word and the order He has given us so we can live an abundant life. Partnering is too important to leave to chance. Someone who looks right might be the biggest trick of the devil we could imagine; they could wreak total havoc on our lives. Pursuing a man just because he seems right, without having direction from God, might be society’s preferred way, but it can never be the way for a follower of Jesus Christ. We must always remember that when it comes to dating, there’s only one rule book and only one right way, it’s the Word of God. Pursue the Word, and the right man will pursue you.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Should You Pursue A Man?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.