Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 25, 2022
Good Love Starts from Within

A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me one day, “When a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow.” I remember thinking to myself, “How in the world did she come to this realization?” At that time in my life, I wondered what she must have gone through in her own personal relationships to finally get to this place—a place where she could see this kind of love and peace in her life as well as in her significant relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few heartaches and disappointments and learned from my mistakes that I came to realize just how true her statement is. I now know with confidence that good love starts from within. This is true for us, and it’s true for the person that we desire to build a life with.

Most of us have received age-old wisdom about good love. We’ve been taught that if a person has it within themselves to honor and respect others, if they want the best for them, and has genuine compassion, this person is capable of good love. A more modern version of this wisdom is that a person that loves good will always have your back, no matter what. This is a man or woman that will give you their last and will go without, themselves, so that they can make sure you have what you need. Now, most folks today would probably say that there aren’t many people around who fit the bill for this good love. They might say they don’t come built like this anymore, but is that really true?

Luke 1:37(NLT) tells us, “For nothing is impossible with God.” God’s Word is true, and His Word never fails. When God speaks, we have the definitive authority on a subject, for everything He speaks is perfect and true. In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ commands, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the kind of love that God requires of us, and because of the Words commanded by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we can confidently know two things. The first is that God is good. The second thing we can know for sure is that because He made us, we are capable of giving Him good love. If you and I were not capable of loving God the way He desires to be loved, Jesus Christ would not have commanded us to do it.

The question is never if a man can give us good love. The question is whether we are giving God the love He requires. How can any of us ever have faith that we will receive good love, if we don’t have faith in our ability to give it to God? Heavenly Father has put a perfect love system in place, and 1John 4:21(NLT) gives us an important part. This verse says, “And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.” Understand that obedience requires us to give God the good love He has empowered us to offer to Him. It is because of the good love that we give to Him that we can give it to each other. 1John 5:2(NLT) affirms this. It says, “We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments.”

Ephesians 5:2(NLT) tells us, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Jesus Christ came to the earth and modeled the perfect example of God’s love. He showed us how God’s love should be lived-out on earth. Christ is our example. Through the pattern he gave us, we learn to give good love and this same love comes back to us. It’s the love of God IN Christ IN us that starts the cycle and keeps it going. God loves us first. We accept it, then give it back to Him and others. The love cycle in Christ continues, leaving a trail of blessings wherever it goes. So, it’s not about our thoughts and opinions, it’s about believing and trusting God’s Word, and believing and trusting HIS love. It’s faith in His love that brings about His peace in our relationships.

If we put the good stuff out there, the good stuff will come back to us. The good stuff is God’s love. The love that you and I offer is sometimes based on our own personal agendas. It has strings attached to it, but not the love of God in Christ. When we make a habit pattern of loving God, wonderful things happen inside us. Our love for God gives the Holy Spirit permission to do his most perfect work within. Then, we can love others with this same unfailing, unconditional love that God has given us.

Some of us are living a reality day to day that has been shaped and molded by our own low expectations. Many of us have no interest in meeting God’s standard of love, even though He’s empowered us to get it done. And because we refuse to meet His standard, we refuse to believe that a man can love us through that standard. The darkness of this kind of wrong believing will keep us not only thinking low but settling for low.

When it comes to a man that gives good love, are our expectations limited by our lack of confidence in our own ability to give it? This deserves some thought, because good love does indeed come from within, where the love of God abides. When your relationship is right with God, your outer reality will prove it out, and you can’t help but have peace. Some folks believe that people who give good love no longer exist, that you can’t find a man that will truly have your back, but God’s Word forces us to turn the mirror on ourselves. It is impossible to love God and love others through His love, and not receive this love in return. So, when a man truly loves a woman, peace follows not so much because of what he gives, but because of what God has given to us all through Jesus Christ. Confidence in our love for God and His love for us will always end in peace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Good Love Starts from Within”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 18, 2022
How Do I Become Born Again?

I recently had the pleasure of catching up with an old friend. We had such a good time conversing, but during our time together, the Spirit tugged on my heart. I felt compelled to witness to him about the Lord Jesus Christ. I was puzzled at first because I’ve known this person for quite some time, and I assumed he knew our wonderful Redeemer. That day, I learned a very valuable lesson. We should never assume when it comes to a person’s walk with Jesus. I came right out and asked him if he was saved. I thought he’d say, “Yes, of course I am.” Instead, he asked me, “What do you mean by ‘saved’?”

What it means to be saved
God teaches us in Romans 10:9-10(NLT), “9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” Most of us hear the word ‘saved’ and think of it in very general terms. Being rescued from harm or danger immediately comes to mind. So, if a person doesn’t perceive that he or she is in immediate danger, they may not understand the staggering importance of salvation and being born again through Jesus Christ.

In truth, there is nothing more harmful or dangerous than to spend an eternity cut off from the One True Living God, and therefore being in perpetual eternal darkness and despair. It’s a fate far worse than our minds can comprehend, and this is the reality of all who are not saved through Jesus Christ.

God proclaims in Colossians 1:13-14 (NLT) that He has “rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” Jesus Christ has made salvation from eternal darkness and damnation available to us, but he will not force anyone to accept the salvation he offers. Love never forces, it lovingly guides. Our beloved Savior is delighted to guide us into salvation and into his magnificent light if we are willing to be guided by him.

We must choose to love God
Genesis 1:26 tells us that God created humanity in His own image. Like Him, we are self-governing. We make our own decisions, and we get to decide who we are going to be. We decide whether we will be a child of God or a child of satan. An in between doesn’t exist. Jesus Christ makes it clear in Matthew 6:24 that we can’t serve two masters, we will love one and hate the other or vice versa, but we can’t serve both. We’re not built that way.

God has given each of us the gift of free-will, and Romans 11:29(NLT) says, “For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.” God is all-powerful, all-knowing, perfect and magnificent in every way. He never has to do a do-over or a take-back. He does things perfectly from the very beginning according to His divine design. He means for us to have what He wants to give us, and He is faithful to the gifts He gives. He will not override our free-will choice.

God offers us salvation and it is a free gift. We can’t do anything to earn it. Heavenly Father freely offers us the blessing of spending an eternity with Him through Jesus Christ. God loves us, and because of His great love, He offers us the extreme privilege and honor to choose to love Him back. John 3:16(NLT) says, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” When we were at our worse, God sent His only begotten Son to save us and give us eternal life. He did this because He loves us more than we can ever know. He wants to have a relationship with every living person, and His greatest delight is loving and sharing His Kingdom with us.

We can’t save ourselves
Roman 5:11(NLT) tells us, “So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” Through Jesus Christ, God has made us righteous because being righteous is necessary to be friends with God. Romans 3:25-26 The Message (MSG) tells us, “25-26 God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.”

Because of what God accomplished through Jesus Christ, we now live in God’s “rightness”. It’s not that we are so good, God is the only One that is righteous and good. You and I don’t have any righteousness of our own. So, God gave us His righteousness through Christ. Sometimes people will say, “I’m not ready to have a relationship with God yet. I’m too worldly, too angry, too sinful, or too this or that…” Maybe they think they are enjoying themselves by doing all the things that pleasure their senses, but we were not created to live that way. We were created to walk in God’s Spirit! Only Jesus Christ can fill our cups and give us joy.

It’s a myth that we can make ourselves “okay enough” to come to God. We can’t. None of us can do this. For instance, some that have an addiction to a substance might think they’ll come to God when they give up the drugs or alcohol, but in reality, they find that the struggle never ends. They keep disappointing themselves and can’t understand why they can’t stop. Others might be very unhappy with their lives because they struggle with insecurities, anxieties, and fears. Spending most of their lives feeling lost, it’s challenging for them to believe that God wants to have a relationship with them; that He loves them in their brokenness and wants to help them. Before we come to Christ, we are all broken and in desperate need of God’s saving grace. We need to be cleansed by the blood of the lamb. We desperately need the new life that Jesus Christ offers us, and God wants to help us. All we have to do is come to Him and invite Him into our hearts.

You must be born again
In John 3:3(NLT), Jesus Christ had a conversation with a man named Nicodemus. He told him, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” Just as we are birthed from our mother’s womb and have our biological father’s seed, when we accept the Lord Jesus Christ into our hearts as our Savior, we are spiritually born again. In order to be a child of God, we must be born physically, and we must be born spiritually. Accepting God’s love through Jesus Christ causes a spiritual consummation. We receive God’s seed by faith, and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside us. So, to be saved is to be born-again. It is to come alive to God spiritually as His child.

Faith is not magic, and magic doesn’t come from God. It’s not about a ‘kid in a candy store’ attitude, where God gives us anything we want. Faith is believing that God gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to save all of us, and it is believing that our all-powerful, awesome God can do anything and through His resurrection power, He raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Believing this truth, repenting from our sins, and asking God for forgiveness transfers us from eternal death to eternal life in Christ.

We’re on this earth to decide who we are going to be for the rest of eternity, and if we choose God, we must remain committed to Him. We must apologize for the sins we have committed, because sin is an offense to Him. The first Adam sinned and everyone after him sinned as well. As God’s children, we must reject Adam’s disobedience and surrender ourselves to God to be guided and led by Him.

In John 14:6(NLT), Jesus Christ declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” The world would like us to believe that there are many paths to get to God. Well, it’s true that there are many paths, but they lead to destruction and idolatry. Jesus Christ is the only path to our Heavenly Father, the One True Living God. If we miss this, we’ve missed life entirely. Christ is the Prince of Life and through him, we can live an eternity with God. Ask Heavenly Father to forgive you for your sins. Ask Him to come into your life and accept His love in your heart by believing in what He has done for you through Jesus Christ. Confess your belief that Jesus Christ sacrificed his life for your sins, and that God resurrected him from the dead. Once you do this, you are saved and your spiritual journey in Christ has begun! ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“How Do I Become Born Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 13, 2022
When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 6, 2022
Well Worth the Wait

My children, like most I imagine, are very inquisitive little creatures. No matter where we go, I can always count on this one question, “Where are we going?” They ask it even before they can buckle their seatbelts and then ask it while I’m driving. If they think the destination is close, they’ll ask, “How much longer before we get there?” I get a kick out of this sometimes. I like piquing their curiosity and surprising them with an unexpected destination. Our life’s journey is similar in some ways. A lot of us are asking God these same questions, but unlike our kids, many of us have lost a sense of wonder. We don’t like the unexpected, especially when it comes to waiting on the right person for our lives. We want God to give us all the details of the destination before the journey begins.

My conversation with a Christian woman the other day made me examine the relationship between our destiny and expectations more carefully. She had many expectations of God, but one of the most puzzling questions on her mind is why she hasn’t met a quality man. She has faith that God answers prayer, and she believes she’ll meet a good man one day, but the ‘when’ weighs heavily on her mind. I understand this because I had been in her shoes at one point in my life—it can feel as though you’re stranded in the Sahara Desert with no rain for years. At least, that’s how I personally felt.

Our Heavenly Father isn’t governed by our time-clock, thank goodness. His promises are built on HIS perfect timing. Psalm 84:11(NKJV) says, “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings. He delights in blessing His people. Each of us has a destiny in His Will and Plan, but sometimes our choices and decisions prolong the time it takes us to reach our destination.

You may have a full tank of gas in the car but if you don’t turn the key, you won’t move in any direction. The same applies to your life. We have the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So, our spiritual tanks are full, but if you don’t apply God’s Word to your life, you are not turning the key. How far and how long will it take you to reach your destiny if that’s your approach? The answer to this question is that we can’t get anywhere or fulfill our destinies without saturating our hearts with God’s Word. His Word works! This means if you pray for God to bless you to meet a good man, He has already put a plan in motion for your marriage. It means that the door of blessing is right in front of us, but we have a responsibility to turn the key.

There’s one thing about us human beings that Jesus Christ makes very plain, and it is the reality that we can’t focus on faith and fear at the same time. We can’t focus on having faith in God’s goodness and blessings, and at the same time focus on the fear of being lonely longer than we’d like. To focus on God’s goodness, we must keep our eyes continually on Jesus Christ. In Philippians 3:14(NLT), through the Apostle Paul, God gives us a very important component to moving ahead. He said, “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” This is a race that God has called us to run, and there are things that we were purposed by Him to do in this race. It is very important for us to seek God and ask Him what He requires.

When it comes to what God requires of His children, people fall into one of three categories. First, there are those they actually haven’t prayed and haven’t taken the time to ask Him what He requires. Typically, these individuals take their purpose in God’s Plan very lightly, and they may not even believe they have one. So, their vision of who they are in Christ is not on point. They are not walking in their sonship rights and true identity as a joint heir with Christ, because they don’t believe they are. If we believe in something, we will pursue it. So, not pursuing our purpose in the Plan of God is a sure indication that we don’t have faith in it. If we don’t have faith in our purpose in God’s Plan, how can we have faith in His plan for our lives when it comes to marriage?

Another category is people who have asked God what He requires of them, but they are stuck in neutral, waiting for a big event to take place. They have not demonstrated a full commitment because they become easily distracted and impatient. They stop and start repeatedly, they’re inconsistent with believing God’s Word, and they don’t realize that it’s the choices we make daily to become more like Christ that lead us continually on the path to purpose. In other words, the engine needs to be moving, and we’re are the ones to kick it in high gear. We need to open our eyes to the reality that pressing into God, clinging to His Word, and staying in continual communication with Him through prayer is the way to go. God needs to see this commitment from us.

The last category is comprised of people that are walking in their purpose within God’s Plan but might be feeling as they are losing momentum and stamina on this journey. You thought things would turn out differently. You thought you would be married, with two kids and a dog by now. But what if God is still training you for what lies ahead in your future? What if you have a few more lessons to learn? Are you going to give up on believing in His Plan for your life? Will you be patient, trust that He knows best, and have faith that He will never let you down?

Instead of letting your hope dwindle, press your foot to the ground and floor it! Recognize once and for all that you are not in charge of the race, you are responsible for running it. God is going to bless you, but don’t let your motivation and focus be determined by what you desire from Him. Let your heart be filled with the desire to please God. Keep seeking Him and keep asking Him to show you what He requires. Your unwavering commitment to do this demonstrates your love and faith, and at His appointed time, you will receive the blessing you desire. It will be well worth the wait.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Well Worth the Wait”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 30, 2022
On the Minds of Single Believers

Getting married is on the minds of many single believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we can be crystal clear that God’s promises are a sure thing. Psalm 145:19(NLT) tells us, “He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.” This is a tremendous source of encouragement to those of us actively and fervently praying to cross paths with our future spouses. However, we must remember the words of our Master Jesus in Luke 12:48. He tells us that when someone is given much, much will be required of them. From this, we should expect that our efforts to increase our relationship with God must expand as we receive more from Him. Even the way we see God must increase. Psalm 145:19 affirms this. The word ‘fear’ in this verse is a Hebrew word that means to have supreme reverence and awe. So, God grants the desires of those that supremely reverence and honor Him. He hears our prayers and He will rescue us from all hurt, harm, and danger, but our reverence of God is required. Therefore, it is a very worthwhile endeavor for you and me to understand what it means to reverence God, and then we must make sure we’re doing it in a way that pleases Him.

Having reverence means that we have a deep respect and adoration for someone or something. In Matthew 6:33 and Mark 12:30, Jesus Christ paints a picture of what this deep and abiding reverence looks like. In Mark 12:30, he commands us to love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. In Matthew 6:33, he says we must seek God and His righteousness above all other things. From this, we can determine that God requires a firm commitment to honor Him above all others. He can’t be second but must always be first. When God is first in our hearts, love has free reign of the place, because God is love. His love can then begin to impact and affect everything we do. When God doesn’t have first place in our hearts, darkness, disappointment, and despair have free reign.

Do you believe that God delights in giving blessings to His children? He absolutely does! 2Corinthians 9:7(NIV) says, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” God loves a cheerful giver because that’s exactly what He is. He gives cheerfully to us, and it makes Him happy to do so, but we must also understand that an excellent giver gives intelligently. I wouldn’t give a vacuum cleaner to a two-year old, and I wouldn’t choose a baby rattle as a birthday gift for a full-grown man. As thoughtful givers, we give gifts that are appropriate to the person’s ability to manage or use the gift. And we give gifts based on what we perceive as their need for them.

If you and I do this, imagine how much more thoughtful and careful God is with His gifts and resources. We can see this very evidently in His Word. 1Timothy 2:4 says that God wants all people to be saved and filled with the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, and He wants them all to come into the knowledge of Christ. But you and I know that all people are not saved. God desires them to be, but it isn’t reality right now. In truth, there are exponentially more people not saved by the blood of the lamb than those that are. Ephesians 2:8 tells us concretely that salvation is a gift of Heavenly Father, but He doesn’t give it to every living person automatically. Jesus Christ warned us that we shouldn’t give pearls to those that have no idea of their value. God wants us to value salvation, to understand what a priceless treasure it is and to desire it for ourselves. He freely gives salvation to us, but we must ask for it with an earnest heart. Asking for the gift with an earnest heart demonstrates that we know its value and will appreciate it. We will be thankful to God for His gifts.

God is looking to bless a person with a heart that will treasure the value of a spouse, will do what is required to preserve unity and be a good steward of the relationship, and will always keep Him first in their lives. This is a heart that is fully committed. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” A heart that is fully committed to God is a heart that reverences and honors Him supremely. This is a person that with strong faith in God and will not be moved by the storms or temptations of life. Heavenly Father can have confidence that this is a person who will value His gifts and look after them appropriately.

Psalm 37:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” Heavenly Father is faithful to bring His Word to pass in our lives, but we must be obedient to do what He says. A person can refute the connection between backing their faith and receiving their desires all day long, but the reality is that we must seek God first and love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength to demonstrate that we are committed to stewarding His blessings. We must back our faith with works that show that we love God because of who He is and not just because of what He can give us. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“On the Minds of Single Believers” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 23, 2022
The Spark We’re Missing

My family and I were watching a movie about the story of Moses. There were many scenes in the movie that were not aligned scripturally, but we continued watching. After the movie ended, we began to discuss it and talked about when Moses met his wife, Zipporah, at the well. I was reminded of the Samaritan woman who came to draw water from Jacob’s well, and Jesus asked her for a drink. She was surprised that he asked this of her, because he was Jewish, and customarily, Jews in Jesus’s time despised the Samaritans. The Samaritans were thought to have muddied the laws of Moses by mixing them with all kind of superstitions; they watered down what the Jews held sacred. In John 4:9, she asked Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” What happened next not only demonstrates the Master’s tremendous compassion and love for all, but it shows us that when the right question is asked, it can be answered in the most phenomenal way.

It cannot be lost on us that throughout his life, Jesus Christ continually received revelation knowledge from Heavenly Father. Jesus sought the Will of God, and God kept him completely informed of it. Jesus knew those that would be saved and transformed when they had no idea of it themselves. We sometimes incorrectly assume that he didn’t have a plan, or didn’t move strategically, but his steps were perfectly ordered by God, and when you and I move in Christ, so are ours. It was no coincidence that Jesus was at this well, and it was no coincidence that the Samaritan woman was there too. It was all according to God’s Will and Plan. Heavenly Father had written the Samaritan woman’s destiny. He appointed the time of her birth so that her life would be changed that day with Jesus at the well.

Something within the Samaritan woman’s spiritual DNA was triggered when she crossed paths with the Master. Make no mistake, we all have the spiritual DNA of our purpose operating within. No doubt when this woman left her home to fetch water for her family, she considered it a day like any other. There was probably no deviation from her usual routine, but Heavenly Father can take even the most mundane things in life and flip them into the miraculous. We often go on about the business of our days, not considering at all that the unveiling of our destinies will rock our worlds in an amazing way. Many of us stopped believing in this a long time ago because the enemy tricks us through distractions and disappointments, but we must understand that there’s a fuse inside us just waiting to be ignited.

After the woman inquired why he had asked her, of all people, for a drink of water, Jesus Christ replied in John 4:10(NLT), “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” Imagine meeting someone you’ve never met before, and this person offers you something you’ve never had before. You might not know quite how to respond, and you might also relegate it to the “too good to be true” category. Even so, whenever we hear someone speak of something promising, somewhere in our hearts, wheels start turning. This is what happened to the woman at the well. The thought of having a kind of water that would prevent the daily toil of fetching and carrying it back to the village would have been a game changer for her. Even without the slightest scrutiny, she entertained that it could be possible.

What about us? What if someone said to you, “I have a friend that wants to meet you very much. He’s saved, financially stable, intelligent, compassionate, loving, hard-working, loyal, and handsome.” Even if you think there’s no way a man with a package containing all those characteristics is about to step into your life that easily, you can’t help but to entertain it. Odds are that your next step is to dig a little deeper. Even though a big part of you isn’t buying in, you still want to question the person who proposed this introduction. You want to find out if there’s even the slightest chance that the person making the introduction is on the up-and-up, and if the man they described is the answer to your prayers.

We are wired by God, our Creator, to trust in the wonderful. The challenges and tribulations of life sometimes shroud it, but underneath the pain of the disappointments that we’ve suffered is still the willingness to believe in the extraordinary. Many of us have been tricked before, especially those who have endured the hurt of broken relationships and have fallen for men that have not held up their end of the bargain. The thing is, we thought they had living water, and we refused to hold ourselves accountable for trying to drink from an empty well.

Jesus Christ doesn’t offer us empty promises. He’s the Real Deal! The living water that he gives us will quench our thirst for an entire eternity. Have we responded to this magnanimous gift with the same zeal as the possibility of meeting a new man? The record of the woman at the well begs us to examine ourselves, because the spark we’re missing can’t be ignited by a new beau or boo. Sure, we might be happy for a few weeks or months, but that excitement, like all things in the world, soon wanes. Of course, Heavenly Father wants to bless every person that desires to be married with a loving and supportive spouse. He wants this more for us than we want it for ourselves, but just as Jesus Christ knew everything about the woman and her promiscuous past, He knows about our past as well. He knows when deep in our hearts, we are not treasuring and honoring the things of God the way we should. We’re not as excited about His living water as we are about other things.

John 4:23-26(NLT) lets us in on the conversation that continued between our Lord and Savior and the Samaritan woman. This passage says, “23 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. 24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” 25 The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” 26 Then Jesus told her, “I AM the Messiah!”” Here was a woman that saw sin as her ticket to happiness, and yet our Lord and Savior had compassion and revealed his identity to her. Initially, she asked why he had chosen her to ask for a drink, and the answer is revealed to all of us in God’s Word. Jesus wants us to recognize that our greatest need isn’t marriage or a relationship with a significant person. It is to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. It’s to worship God in Spirit and in truth, and to realize that only He can fill our cups with living water. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Spark We’re Missing” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 16, 2022
Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage

When I was in my early twenties, I went out on a date with an officer in the military. He was very handsome, articulate, and tough as nails. We had gone out on a few dates, but one of them sticks out in my mind very vividly. We were out when we bumped into a couple that were friends of mine. I introduced them of course, and we talked a few minutes. They went on their way and a little while later, my date asked me how I knew them. I told him that we had met at a Christian retreat for singles. They ended up getting married a year later. I told him that I admired their commitment to God’s standards while dating. Both were very open and candid about their vow of celibacy during their courtship. After telling him this, my date then opened up a little bit more about his home life. He said that he wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and even as an adult, he struggled with believing in God. He said it was hard for him to understand how others could believe so strongly in a God they can’t see.

Spiritual maturity has taught me that the times are too urgent, and people are too dark and self-absorbed for us to take any chances with our spiritual walk. Proverbs 4:27(NLT) tells us, “Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” God teaches us not to turn to the left or to the right, but to keep our eyes stayed on Him so that we don’t get sidetracked. If we do in fact get sidetracked, we could take several steps backward or miss the mark altogether when it comes to the blessings we desire most. It’s a tremendously wise strategy to be careful and cautious. It’s the guidance God gives us so we can stay on the path and receive what He has in store for our lives.

Impatience causes many of us to veer away from the right path. Heavenly Father tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge and indeed they reject the very knowledge about Him that will keep them safe, blessed, and prosperous. When your heart is to be married, but you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t of the same heart and mind, it can lead to many challenges. It’s so important to have a strong and made-up mind about knowing how and when to say no if ever you’re in a situation that’s remotely tempting. Why? Because once we pray to receive the blessing of the right person, Heavenly Father begins to help us, and we shouldn’t question this for one second. Our response to Him should be to do whatever we can to partner with His efforts and not work against them.

1Thessalonians 4:3-6(NLT) tells us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” Somehow, we have erroneously believed that our sin does not impede our efforts to move towards our goals, but it does. When we ask Him, God forgives us for all sin, but He does not eradicate the consequences of our sin. Sin requires a price, and the devil will make sure we pay it with the things we desire and hold dear.

Let’s be smart about the choices we make and learn to perceive God’s directions, so we stay on the right track to the blessing of marriage. Don’t be tricked and think you have time to waste on anyone that is not going to advance you towards God’s Will and Plan for your life. Use your time wisely. Know that studying God’s Word, praying and meditating on His goodness, and growing in the Spirit is helping you in every way. It will pay off with the greatest treasure possible if you remain steadfast and stay the course. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 9, 2022
The Promise, Process, And Presentation

A young Christian woman asked me, “I’m so scared to make a mistake in allowing the wrong person in my life, how will I know I’m making the right decision?” No doubt this young woman has seen the consequences many women have faced after they’ve made a wrong choice. Their relationships ended so badly and left these women in such a predicament that their faith was shaken. These setbacks caused them to feel depleted, lost, and insecure. If they had known more of God’s Word and walked in greater wisdom, surely the devil would not have had an opportunity to steal from them in such a brutal way. “How did they not know?” the young woman asked. It is a fair question when it comes to fully grown adults. How are we bamboozled by another human being to such an extent that we lose so much of ourselves in the process? This is a worthy question to explore, because the stability of our lives can be so damaged by a wrong choice that we’re fearful and others who see our pain become fearful too.

I explained to this young woman that when it comes to receiving anything in life, if it isn’t a presentation from God, then it needs to go back where it came from. Whether it’s a job, a new relationship or even financial increases, you want to make sure that anything and everything that’s new in your life, is not of your own doing, but is completely orchestrated by Heavenly Father. You may think that’s going a bit overboard, but really when it comes to your life, you can’t afford to make mistakes that will repeatedly set you back on this Christian journey; the wrong decisions can be very costly. Not just financially, but mentally, emotionally and particularly spiritually. It takes time and effort to regain what we’ve lost. So, to avoid losing time, momentum, and stamina, we should make sure that something we think is a blessing really is one.

Making Sure It’s from God
Particularly in the arena of dating, you might hear the statement, “waiting on a presentation from God” quite often. Some might get the impression that God suddenly brings a person out of nowhere and ‘boom!’, there he is. Heavenly Father has given us patterns in His Word that will aid our understanding of how He moves. Receiving the promise of what God wants to do specifically in our lives is only the first step. Sometimes, God will give us a dream, a vision, or a revelation from His Word through the Holy Spirit, and this affirms that He has heard our prayers and that the answer to our prayers is not only in alignment with His Will, but it’s on its way. The only way to make sure that God approves and that we are in partnership with His Will is to receive it first from the Holy Spirit. This is the pattern of Christ.

Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ ONLY did those things that pleased God. He did nothing else. His practice was that of staying continually in prayer, getting up early in the mornings to pray, and during these times he would receive direction first, and then guidance from the Holy Spirit for his day. He never went off on his own, doing his own thing. He said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” This is the level of obedience and fellowship with God through Christ that the Father expects to see in us. We receive the promise, walk through the process, and then we’re prepared for the presentation.

Spiritual Preparation
Spiritual preparation is God’s process to get us ready for the presentation. Think of the span of time between God speaking His plans to those He employed, and then them actually receiving the promise. The distance between God’s spoken promise and the fruition of it was spiritual preparation. In Deuteronomy 11:8-9(NLT), He told His people, “8 Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter. 9 If you obey, you will enjoy a long life in the land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants—a land flowing with milk and honey!”

In order to go in and possess the promise, the people had to have spiritual strength. They had to obey God’s commandment and continue to pursue Him. In truth, not only did they have to receive God’s promise to know what HE wanted, they had to increase in spiritual strength, so they’d be able to take possession. Then, in order to enjoy the blessing, their continued obedience was necessary. We can see throughout the Old Testament that whenever and wherever God’s people failed to honor Him and His Word, their blessings were stolen and destroyed by the devil.

Heavenly Father doesn’t want our blessings to be stolen and destroyed by the enemy. He helps us tremendously so we can not only avoid this, but we can receive His guidance before we take the wrong actions. Many of us look at ourselves today and think we’re fully stocked and ready to rock. But the way to truly know we’re ready is to receive the promise supernaturally, put our hands in God’s hands, and let Him walk us through spiritual preparation for the presentation.

Psalms 37:5(NLT) tells us “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” God never makes a mistake. He is a God of order and perfection. We do not have to be fearful of making a horrible mistake when we have confidence that comes from receiving the promise directly from the Holy Spirit that indwells us. If we will be obedient, humble, and patient to walk with God through His process, the way many before us have done, we will be prepared for the presentation, and know that it’s one God, Himself, is making. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Promise, Process, And Presentation” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 2, 2022
The Journey of Becoming Two

Several of my friends are single parents and raising children on their own. For some of them, relationships have been a revolving door. Some of those relationships looked promising, as if they were going to end in marriage, but things didn’t work out. While we don’t talk about it too much, I know that some of my friends no longer want to be carrying the load of life on their shoulders alone. They desire to journey together with someone that is supportive, caring, and dependable—someone that will fit into their children’s lives with grace and respect. My friends, like most of us, want a home filled with the unity of Christ, but how do they get there? How do single parents make the transition from feeling like they’re carrying the load alone to maintaining a relationship that will ultimately lead to a good and stable marriage?

To be honest, none of us are ever alone. God has brought us this far, and it is because of His goodness, mercy, and grace that we’re here today. Heavenly Father also makes it clear in His Word that marriage is His institution, and He desires everyone who wants to get married to have a good and Godly spouse. Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT) says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” This verse affirms the journey of transitioning from one to two. It’s understanding God’s expectation, covering, and wisdom regarding unity. He is the One that has set the standard, not us. When a man and woman are committed to Christ and committed to each other, and they stand back to back, they are poised to conquer. Their allegiance to put Christ at the head of their union makes a triple-braided cord that will withstand enemy attacks.

The Non-Negotiable Choice

Heavenly Father wired all of us for happiness. We desire it probably more than anything else, and we understand that relationships with God and relationships with others are direct links to this happiness. It doesn’t take much to understand our desire for marital partnership, because unified connections make life sweeter. God set the precedent for this because it’s what He wants from us, connection! Long before any of us came on the scene, we were in God’s thoughts. He knew about us and predestined our existence according to the good pleasure of His Will and Plan. Even before He created Adam, He knew humanity would need a Redeemer in the person of His only begotten, Jesus Christ. God did all of this why? He did it because He wanted a family. He wanted children, and we are the apple of His eye. He created us because He wanted connection with us, and it makes sense that we would want connections with each other.

Our desire for a unified family is baked in, and God understands this desire more than anyone. We must let the truth of this marinate in our hearts and minds. Knowing that God desires our dreams of marriage, family, and unity to come true must be the foundation of our believing. Some of us struggle to believe this, and one of the reasons that we struggle with it is because we’ve grown used to trusting our own shoulders. In our gut, many of us think our shoulders have carried the burdens of single parenting alone. This has bred a sort of independence that causes us to make decisions and choices without consulting Heavenly Father and without trusting His guidance.

The truth is that our shoulders could never have carried all the complexities and burdens that come with being a single parent. It was challenging, but God carried the weight for us. Jesus Christ tells us in John 15:5 that apart from him, we can’t do anything. With some of us, there’s a place in our hearts where we connect personal confidence to the struggles we’ve been through. The rewiring is to connect confidence to faith in God and His grace to bless us to make it, even though we didn’t always put Him first. Sometimes we put the man first, the situation first, our own physical and sexual need first, and we didn’t even think about what God’s Word says.

Our faith in God and His Word must have first position in our minds and hearts. Our commitment to stand on what God says must be relentless, especially when it comes to bringing someone new around our children. Faith is not negotiable. We must be fully persuaded and sold out to God’s commitment to bless us in the area of family and marriage. A half-hearted conviction will not do. If you believe God’s desire to see you blessed is not greater than your own desire for the same, there is more work to do to increase your faith.

You are not a martyr, and your sacrifice or struggle is not required for your happiness. Jesus Christ has paid the price in full. Faith is the requirement you must meet. This means your confidence in the plan God has for your life and the lives of your children must be unshakable. He knows the right person; therefore, the choice to leave this totally in His hands is non-negotiable.

You Determine Your Level of Blessing

Past relationships can teach us many things, but one of the most important lessons is seeing the mirror they hold up regarding our faith. They reveal what was most important to us and they show us how much of God’s wisdom we employed. We should learn from them that building a relationship on the foundation of Jesus Christ is the only way to have confidence that it will continue. You and I can only be blessed to the level that we believe and trust in God’s Word.

Hebrews 6:1(NLT) tells us, “So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God.” Transitioning from single to married requires us to stop going back to old habits and making the same relationship mistakes. As single parents, we should be way past the elementary stage of believing and faith, because we have seen God do so much for us and our children. The greater blessing will require a greater commitment to God and His Word. This is what spiritual maturity is all about. It’s growing in Christ so that we can have his unity and peace in our families and in the marriage that we are believing God to make a reality.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Journey of Becoming Two” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 21, 2022