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  • As We Go Our Separate Ways

    As We Go Our Separate Ways

    When you’re going through rough times in your marriage or relationship with your significant other, who’s the person you usually call for support? After praying to Heavenly Father, many of us would reach out to our BFFs for a shoulder to cry or lean on. It’s a friend that will always listen to us blubber through as we try to make sense of what is happening. It’s someone that offers spiritual encouragement, compassion and support, and not judgement. These are the women we count on, and we have established deeply rooted ties, some stronger than biological ones. But one of the things many of us struggle with is how to honor these friendships, especially while balancing them with the relationship needs of the significant man in our lives.

    It’s inevitable that there will be friends, some we’ve had quite a long time, who have developed a sense of entitlement when it comes to our time. It’s not unusual to hear about a bestie feeling displaced and upset because a new man is in the picture. You’re not able to have as many phone conversations or hang out together as much, because you’ve got new priorities. The more your relationship grows with the new person in your life, the less time you have on your hands to devote to others.

    This happened to Tammy, when at forty-one, and with two college aged kids, she married a wonderful man. Her friends had been with her through thick and thin. They all comforted and encouraged one another through broken marriages, the toils of being single, and the struggles of raising children as single parents. Tammy knew her friends were thrilled for her happiness, but they were accustomed to keeping each other in the loop. As her new relationship grew and ultimately blossomed into marriage, Tammy didn’t feel the need to communicate with her close friends about new changes, boundaries, or how she would need to handle any of it. She was so engrossed with the new man that she wasn’t even aware she was letting her friendships slip through the cracks.

    1Peter 4:8(NASB) says, “8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Be hospitable to one another without complaint. 10 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” We’re not exempt from this passage just because we find Mr. Right. One of the greatest and most profound lessons we must learn is one concerning what we need to do as single women to build a landing strip for the blessing of marriage. As friends and wives, God’s standard is that we serve one another as good stewards of His manifold grace. Yes, our priorities must change when we partner, but as God so beautifully tells us in 1Peter 4:8, the love of Christ will cover a multitude of sins.

    Job 6:14(NIV) tells us, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” Kindness dictates honesty, compassion, and communication. All three are necessary to convey to those who have supported us that we’re continually appreciative of them, and we need their understanding as we navigate a new chapter in our lives. When Tammy and her husband planned a trip and needed to depend on trustworthy friends to check in on their home while they were away, she was surprised by some of their comments. Although willing to help, her longtime girlfriends felt as if they had been kicked to the curb by Tammy, and had no problem saying so.

    Sometimes friends we’ve had a long time must go their separate ways when life-changing events occur. Everyone can’t go where we’re going, and it is necessary to part ways, but this isn’t always the case. We need good people in our lives, and we also need to continue the ministry of being a loving, supportive friend. It is one that keeps us operating out of the love of Christ as we are a blessing to others. If we allow the love of Christ to rule our hearts in this area, we’ll find that our friends will be much more understanding. Again, this requires us to be honest, thoughtful, and keep the lines of communication open. If we do this and allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us, we can establish boundaries that honor our significant relationships and maintain the friendships that are so dear to us as well. ■

    Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “As We Go Our Separate Ways”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Marriage Covered by The Blood of Jesus Christ

    I remember the first time I saw a little girl named Chastity. I thought she was the most beautiful child I had ever seen, and her mother always kept her impeccably dressed. She was doted on by almost everyone, especially by her parents. Although they loved her very much, her mother and father had a terribly rocky relationship. Her father was verbally abusive towards her mother, and on a few occasions, this led to physical altercations between them. As she grew into adulthood, Chastity never thought of her parents as angry people or those with anger issues. Oddly, she thought most parents behaved just as hers did. It wasn’t until she began married life and faced some of its complexities that she saw the anger of her parents manifesting in her own life, and it did so with devastating results.

    Chastity was mandated by the courts to enter an anger management program after attacking her husband in a domestic dispute. She was taken away from their home in handcuffs and ultimately received a no-contact restraining order to stay away from her husband. It wasn’t until several months after her divorce that she shared this with her closest friends. She was embarrassed and ashamed, and she was also very afraid. She loved married life and very much wanted to be in a relationship, but anxiety about what she had gone through caused her to constantly second-guess her decisions. Something she wanted so much had slipped through her fingers once before, and she feared it could happen again.

    Psalm 37:8 (NLT) tells us, “Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.” During the anger management program that she was mandated to attend, Chastity learned some very good strategies for controlling outbursts of anger. But even though she felt like she had a good handle on it, the root of this anger was still in her heart. God’s Word tells us to stop being angry. This suggests to us that for some people, anger is a way of being. It’s a ‘go-to’ response.

    God created us out of His love. So, we know from His Word that we were not created to respond in anger, but to respond with the love of Christ. When anger is always operating in the background, instead of the liberty of Christ, we must allow the healing power of God’s love to be administered to our hearts and minds in a greater way. We do this by learning more of God’s Word and asking the Holy Spirit to teach and guide us.

    Again, the way that a man and a woman create an opening in their hearts for healing is to place God’s Word in the position of preeminent authority in their lives. His Word cannot fail, and He tells us in His Word that anger is birthed from fear. This fear is sometimes passed down from generation to generation, and it continues because God’s Word is either not known, not believed, or not lived.

    All of us get angry at one time or another, but to have unresolved deep-seated anger is another matter. It suggests that greater focus on God through Christ is needed so that the mind can be renewed, and the Holy Spirit can do his transformative work. Both sexes sometimes have issues that prevent them from seeing their counterparts in the light of Christ. Instead, they are operating from faulty programming that was passed down. It’s entirely possible, in this case, for the woman with silent rage to see her spouse as a threat and not a blessing.

    This is problematic because it defies God’s plan for the marital union. It is impossible for our Heavenly Father to make a mistake. You and I make them all the time, but He never does, and we must trust this with our entire being. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” Our God is our Source of provision and protection. He doesn’t withhold any goodness from the man and woman that is committed to do what is right. So, as a woman of God who has a heart to do what is right, you must trust God to present you with a man that has a heart to do what is right as well. This is an anointing and grace that only God can provide. And if we trust Him to make this provision available to us, we must also trust Him as we totally and completely surrender any anger and bitterness operating in our hearts.

    It’s not about you fixing yourself; you can’t. It’s about recognizing that because of the blood of Christ that was shed for our sins, we are cleansed from all unrighteousness. We couldn’t do it, and our Heavenly Father loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us. 1John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It’s the blood of Christ that cleansed us, this is what we must trust. So, the necessary shift is to cease from trying to be right and accept that we have been made right through Christ, through his blood that was shed for us.

    As our understanding and appreciation of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ increases, we are released from the bondage of fear. You can’t place your marriage under the covering of the blood of Christ if you’re not walking in it yourself. Order was restored through the blood! This order means that as a woman that believes God, you are completely sold out to His provision. You understand that GOD is your Provider and Protector! HE gives you grace and glory through Christ, and it gets expressed through the man, because the man is the conduit by which God administers His blessing to you. YOU, likewise, are the conduit by which God administers His blessing to the man.

    Ecclesiastes 7:9(NLT) tells us, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.” Being easily provoked to anger makes us look foolish because it causes us to lose the blessings we treasure. God’s Word must be obeyed. This must be the heart of the believer, and it is the foundation upon which our hearts are healed, our marriages are secured, and our walk with God is continually infused with His grace and glory.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Marriage Covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • First, Calculate the Cost

    First, Calculate the Cost

    How many of us go into relationships with our eyes wide open? Most single Christians would probably say they do, but even those of us that are spiritually mature and desire God’s Will for our lives, end up realizing that our eyes were not as wide open as we had thought. This means that although we included a few expected bumps in the road in our relationship calculations, we didn’t think there would be a cliff we’d have to jump over, and we never imagined it would be so deep and wide. So, it is important for us to adjust our calculations right now, before we take the leap. To do this, we’ve got to look at what Jesus Christ taught us in Luke 14, and then ask ourselves are we willing to pay the price that is required to have a relationship that lasts.

    In speaking to two wonderful Christian women recently about their desire for marriage, I was struck by the depth of their desire to have the right man in their lives. They spoke of some of the things they’ve already done to prepare to share their lives with him. One of these women is more seasoned in age and wisdom, but it seemed to me that both are at a point in their lives where they appreciate what the commitment of marriage means. I am committed to pray for them in prayer. As a single Christian woman, you must know how profoundly important it is for you to be praying for someone who desires the same thing as you. In truth, the mandate of the love of Christ dictates that you ought to be praying for them more than you pray for yourself.

    Jesus Christ said in Luke 14:28(NLT), “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?” He was speaking to a large crowd that followed him but did so for the wrong reason. They saw his good works—the miracles of healing and restoration. They heard his masterful teaching, and they thought they could simply lean on his greatness without having to learn how to demonstrate it themselves. They didn’t assume that the lesson of learning to lift up others would overshadow ‘just leaning’, and this ‘lifting-up’ lesson would cost a great deal to learn.

    In Luke 14:26(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.” Some people would look at this and say, “Yikes! This seems harsh!” It isn’t at all when you consider what is at stake. Marriage is God’s institution. This statement is so staggeringly profound that we couldn’t possibly say it enough. Marriage satisfies God’s purpose for the lives of His people. As a person desiring marriage, if you have it in your mind that you’re getting married to service your own needs and take care of your own agenda, you’ve already taken Heavenly Father out of the equation. How can we do this, and at the same time ask Him to bless us to cross paths with our future spouses? That doesn’t work.

    The cost that every single believer that desires marriage must pay is the cost of canceling out his or her own personal agenda for the sake of moving God’s agenda forward. Sadly, the reason that we see so many without the thing they want most is because so few are willing to calculate and pay the cost. In Isaiah 55:11(NLT), God said, “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” God’s Word belongs to Him! He sends it out, He blesses it, and it comes back to Him in the same way He sent it out. He’s given us an incorruptible, unfailing pattern here, and it is the same with everything else. God owns the institution of marriage. HE blesses it for HIS purpose. So, if we are asking Him to give us His blessing, we must pay the cost of using it for His purpose. No better deal exists.

    The Word of the Lord is, don’t begin the quest until you count the cost. Don’t begin it until, within your heart of hearts, you’re asking the Holy Spirit to change your heart so that you want what God wants. Don’t begin the quest until you are steadfastly asking the Father what He requires of you and what you must change so that your marriage begins with putting Jesus Christ as the head and keeps him there. If there’s anything in you that isn’t in alignment with the role of wife and the service of a child of light, be willing to lay it down so that you can calculate the cost and pay the price according to the Will of God.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “First, Calculate the Cost”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Oops! Did I Say That?

    Oops! Did I Say That?

    Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” In my opinion, the heft and impact of this truth is grossly overlooked, particularly by those of us desiring to partner in marriage. Like many of you, I’ve read and heard it many times, and it reminds me continually to play close attention to the words I speak. This verse also reminds me of an incident that occurred when I dated someone in my early twenties. He made it very clear how much he cared for me, and while we were on a date one evening, he asked me how I felt about him. I hadn’t yet learned the economy of words or how to filter them through the love of God. If it came to my mind, often it flew from my lips without careful thought. So, when the young man asked me this question, immediately what came out was “You don’t know how to handle me yet.” Even today, I marvel at how immature a statement that was. I chalk it up to youthful arrogance and ignorance.

    Needless to say, Proverbs 18:21 hadn’t been rooted in my mind and heart at all in my twenties. Spiritually preparing for marriage means that when the right question is asked, we don’t have to look back to an “oops!” moment, but we respond with the right answer. It’s an answer motivated from a heart that is ripe with the love of Christ. Preparation means that we need to study scripture several times to make sure we understand it; so that the revelation of it really sinks in.

    Although Proverbs 18:21 is a simple and short verse, it packs a powerful punch. Our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others but block our blessings as well. We sometimes forget how easily offensive our words can be. They have the potential to create things or destroy them. And because as women we tend to be more in touch with our emotions, we are also sometimes better at weaponizing this skill for our own purposes. We must be extremely cautious about this—of letting our emotions guide our tongues towards the business of sowing seeds of anger and destruction.

    Just as we have certain characteristics and qualities that are baked in, our male counterparts do as well. They were appointed by God to be protectors and providers for their families, and they are instructed by God in Ephesians 5:25 to love their wives as Christ loves the church. We can see that this is a mix of being very strong on one hand, and very tender on the other. As women of God, we are obligated to handle both with care.

    It is not easy for anyone to be vulnerable with their emotions, but we should be able to appreciate that this can be especially challenging for many men. Quite naturally we must be prepared for the reality that when a man makes his heart vulnerable, we must respond with an increased sensitivity in how we use our words. This becomes even more important when there are disagreements in the relationship.

    The wisdom of Proverbs 21:19(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” I know the sting of loneliness. It is indeed a desert, and I couldn’t tolerate even a hint of a possibility that my future husband would be better off there than with me. So, over the years, I committed myself to learn to use my words to build and uplift rather than tearing down. I would love to say that there was no cost to growing spiritually in this area, but that wouldn’t be true. There were steep and challenging circumstances I endured. It was all because I failed to heed God’s instruction and to practice wisdom and economy when it comes to my mouth. I knew that I needed to spiritually grow in this area, not just because I wanted to be a Godly wife, but because I wanted to be my best for God and the agenda of His Kingdom.

    When our tongues are undisciplined, we’ll find ourselves repeatedly and regretfully asking “Oops! Did I say that?” It’s a question we’ll ask way more than we’d like, because even we are surprised by what comes out of our mouths. We have a responsibility to trade in this habit as we train ourselves to think and speak words that are pleasing to God. The last thing any of us should ever want to do is injure and hurt with our words. Let’s pray for guidance in this area. I encourage you to ask the Lord to teach you to be more sensitive in your speech and conversation. Then you will be poised to speak life into your husband and family, and in so doing, you will partner with the Lord to help preserve the unity and strength of your marriage. ■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Oops! Did I Say That?“ written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Seal of Approval

    God’s Seal of Approval

    It really breaks my heart to see someone accept less than what they should in relationships. It has absolutely nothing to do with pride but everything to do with what God’s Word declares for His children. God blesses His Word in an undeniable way, and whenever we believe and trust it, His promises can’t help but come to pass. The question facing many of us today is are we truly hungry for God’s Word. Are we hungry for the love and truth that is contained in a relationship with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ? This is such a pivotal question because if at the seat of our hearts, we only want the husband, God knows this; for nothing is hidden from Him. It’s incredibly important to examine our hearts and make sure a seal of approval from God is what we’re after, because this is the fountain from which all His blessings overflow.

    In John 6:26-27(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs. But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval.” Jesus Christ understood that nothing in life is more important than pleasing God. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in all that we do. This is the way to secure the kind of rich and satisfying life that Jesus made available. It’s to pray to God to help us live according to what He says in His Word. We can’t do it on our own, but through the Spirit of Christ that lives within, we can be and do all that God has purposed.

    We don’t have time to waste by being consumed with things that are here today and gone tomorrow. We should want to spend our time on eternal matters. This means that we have to be careful about our actions and decisions. It’s sometimes challenging for us because no one likes to feel hopeless or powerless. We want to feel like we’re in control of our lives. When it comes to the crowd that followed Jesus in this record in John 6, I’m sure some of them felt disenfranchised and disappointed in life. They wanted to stop feeling this way. They wanted access to the power that Jesus Christ demonstrated and spoke about, and they asked him how to get it. John 6:29(NLT) says, “Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.””

    Jesus Christ is the bread of life! As human beings, we know thirst, and we know hunger. Being hungry signals the brain that the body is lacking or is deficient, because it doesn’t have what it needs. Food is one of life’s most basic necessities, and every human knows how important it is. As we come to a spiritual understanding about Jesus Christ, we must know that our Father created life to need more than the nourishment that comes from food. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 4:4(NKJV), “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ” We need God’s Word to live life in all its fullness.

    When a beloved sister has been praying to cross paths with her husband for a long time, she may feel hopeless and powerless to change her situation, but here’s the reality: it’s not her responsibility to change it. Philippians 4:19 (NLT) declares, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” It is God who supplies our needs. Our goal should be to move anything that keeps us from pleasing Him out of the way.

    God blesses His Word and all who believe and trust in it. His Word never goes out without accomplishing the thing for which He sent it. Our Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and Romans 5:5 affirms that the hope we have in Christ will not lead to disappointment. So, you are not asked to have faith in your own ability to supply your needs, because you can’t. From the least to the greatest, everything that you and I enjoy comes from God, and we have it only because He allowed it. You must trust that God has elevated His Word above His name and He will always back His Word. He’s faithful to it. Your responsibility is to be patient, to be obedient to God’s Word, and to trust Him with your whole heart, no matter what. This is what it takes to receive God’s seal of approval, and it is worth more than life itself. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Seal of Approval” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Come into God’s Light

    Come into God’s Light

    There are a ton of single women that desire marriage and believe in the accomplished work of Jesus Christ, but they don’t or won’t apply spiritual principles to their marital quest. They don’t believe God has specifically ordained someone to walk with them through the journey of life. They’re not particularly interested in finding out about their purpose, and they haven’t consulted God about what they’re doing to harm or impede their quest. Their approach is one of taking the reins into their own hands. For instance, this woman may come across someone that ignites a certain spark within her. She also piques his interest, and she takes this as her queue to jump in with both feet. In this scenario, SHE made the choice, and then asked God to bless it. What happens next is a toss-up between utter devastation and second best. Both are beneath the privilege of a child of God.

    In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” There are two exponentially important components to the truth our Master speaks in this verse. The first thing he does is let us know that there is a relentless dastardly thief in the earth, and he is the devil. The mission of the devil is to steal, kill, and destroy. We need only look at what is happening in the world today to see his evil intent and realize that he will stop at nothing to reap death and darkness in the earth.

    Unity is something satan fears, and he wants to squash it wherever he can. One of the reasons for this is because Jesus Christ has declared in Matthew 18:20 that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them. There is power where two are connected in their desire and commitment to honor God through Christ, and the devil does not want this power to manifest. It is one of the chief reasons he attacks marriages—to cancel out any chance of unity among spouses and families.

    The enemy knows our weaknesses and how deep our desire for marriage is. Jesus Christ did not keep us in the dark about the devil’s tricks. Our blessed Savior didn’t tell us about the plots of the enemy so we would cower in fear somewhere in a corner. He told us so that we would mount up with faith and arm our quest and future relationship in his authority. We must guard our hearts with God’s love. If we don’t, we won’t recognize the difference between a trick and a blessing.

    We must remember that guarding our hearts involves being careful NOT to make emotional connections with someone who hates the light. John 3:20-21(NLT)“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” When people are intent on staying hidden in an evil nature, they don’t want this exposed. We may not perceive them as harmful, but one day down the road, they will show us what lies beneath the surface and it will be horrible. God wants to protect us from this, and He does it by guiding our desire and quest for marriage. As we seek His counsel on every decision and choice, He will keep our feet from falling into satan’s plot. He’ll prevent us from being tricked into entertaining a demon spirit rather than an angel spirit.

    Just because a man is nice doesn’t mean that he’s of God. Even believers that have been on this journey in Christ for a while can be deceived. Discernment comes from God. He communicates information to the Holy Spirit within us, and the Holy Spirit communicates this information to our human-spirit. This is the communication system God has created. Our arrogance, impatience, pride, and refusal to pay attention to the Holy Spirit will block this information. This is how we lose the ability to discern.

    1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.”  We are children of God’s light. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will attract light to you and dispel the darkness around you. Through his example and the multitudes that followed him, Jesus Christ showed us that the light also brings out the haters—those who do evil and hate the light, because they allow themselves to be used by the devil. You may ask, “How do I know if they hate the light?” Jesus Christ told us Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the person’s fruit.

    We won’t recognize light in another person if we’re not walking in it ourselves. Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. There’s a difference between the two, and knowledge of the distinction impacts where we’ll spend eternity. Recognize that the consequences of being invested in a child of darkness are very painful and can potentially influence the rest of your life. God doesn’t want you to be hurt this way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth to make a more than abundant life available to you, and you can have it if you walk by the Spirit.

    Reach out and grab what’s yours by letting your decisions and choices regarding who and how to develop a relationship be guided by God. He already knows the person that will fit into the destiny and plan He has for your life. Bring your desire into the light of His wisdom and let your faith in Him rest in the reality that He will not fail. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Come into God’s Light” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Big Dose of Truth

    A Big Dose of Truth

    1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) declares, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” All that we are and all that we could ever hope to be is because of our Creator. We owe God our lives, and every breath that we breathe is only possible because of His amazing grace. He made the air and everything else that is necessary for our living. Most of us are aware of our Heavenly Father’s unyielding generosity, yet many of us still do not have an acceptable level of gratitude that goes hand in hand with this awareness. It is very possible, and often reality, that we receive gifts, and we are not deeply thankful for them. The practice of being deeply grateful for gifts is an important awareness. It’s especially important for those praying to meet their future marital partners because it reveals what Heavenly Father requires. Many of us are praying for a Godly partner that will love and honor us, however, we haven’t given much thought to how we will continually demonstrate our gratitude to God for such a gift.

    As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called by God to live consistent with who He’s made us in Christ. Heavenly Father has designed life in such a way that the closer we are to the example of Christ, the more rewards we will receive. Life does not open doors for you and me unless we have the key. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:19 that actively pursuing and walking in his example is the key. It allows us to loose things and bind them up both in heaven and in the earth. In other words, Jesus has provided everything we need to open doors that lead to treasures, but every time we do something against the Will of God—every time we engage behaviors and attitudes outside his example, we move ourselves further away from the door.

    Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father isn’t trying to make us feel bad, nor does He want us continually being down on ourselves. He wants the absolute best for us. He doesn’t want us to fall into the trap of sin and then not understand how we landed there. Through His Spirit, the scriptures, and through those that have been speaking and teaching His Word, Heavenly Father has warned us about sin and its consequences. Yet, many of us have chosen to ignore His warning and we’ve stepped outside His Will. He doesn’t punish us for doing this, but there is a consequence, nonetheless. Every action has a consequence, and sometimes it comes with a pretty big price.

    Again, we owe God everything, and the question we must ask is how we’re going to demonstrate that we understand this truth. We can actually say words that communicate we’re thankful to Him, but words mean very little without the action to back them up. There must be some evidence of our gratitude. God is looking for something in the way we live that proves our commitment to His Word. He tells us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to Him, because this is the least we can do for all He’s done for us. To get a visual of what He’s requiring in Romans 12:1, we first need to recall the relationships we’ve had in the past, and how we responded to the pressure to do things we knew were not Godly. We must remember the attitudes and emotions we displayed, and then be courageous enough to measure how far they were from the example of Christ.

    We can never repay God for all He’s done, and He isn’t asking us to. What He wants is for us to present ourselves to Him so that He can help us to transform. He wants to have His way with those attitudes and behaviors that are working against us. In order to show our gratitude to God, we must have faith that He is indeed a Rewarder. We must trust that if we offer our whole beings, He will accept them and do a work within us through Jesus Christ.

    The treasure of marriage isn’t being withheld from anyone. The consequences of sinful actions move us away from the Father’s Will, and they also move us away from what we desire most. This is a big dose of truth and many single folks are not ready to accept it, but this is the wrong attitude. There is tremendous hope and reward linked with God’s correction when we accept it. Heavenly Father is a God of love. 1John 4:19(NLT), tells us, “We love each other because he loved us first.” God wrote the book on love, not us. He is the One that has set the patterns for how love behaves.

    There must be a willingness on our part to stop doing the things that displease Him. Instead, we must come to God in total humility and ask Him to order our steps according to His Will. His love lifts us up, and we must trust this with our whole hearts, because trusting in His love moves us closer to the example of Christ.

    Heavenly Father delights in rewarding His children, but we must continually give Him something to reward. Our commitment to walk in the love of Christ must be demonstrated now, through our willingness to put our love for God above the temptation of sin. It’s not about the kind of perfume or the clothes we wear. It’s the love of Christ that wins people’s hearts. This is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God, by our obedience to the example of Christ. When we prove that we are able to love a spouse from a place of spiritual maturity and obedience to God, the right door will appear. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Big Dose of Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Pray for All People

    Pray for All People

    None of us could have predicted such a time as what we’re facing, but it’s here. As with any challenge, this season is a reminder of how delicate and fragile life is. Circumstances and situations reveal that we are definitely not in control, and if there’s anyone that thought they could live without God’s grace and mercy, they are experiencing a wake-up call like no other. Through God’s Word, and through His Spirit as well as many truth speakers, God has warned us to get our houses in order. Now is the time to take a good hard look at where we are spiritually, so that we don’t have an existence marked by ungodliness and pandemonium but instead we are clothed in God’s provision and care.

    Times are perilous, and they’ve been this way for a long while. Whenever we face a crisis in these perilous times, God tells us how to approach it in Philippians 4:6(NLT). This verse says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” There can be no question that prayer is our first line of defense. Heavenly Father is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows every detail of anything that has happened throughout the history of our existence, and He knew it well in advance. Regardless of what the situation is or how conditions look, He tells us to pray.

    There should be no doubt in any of our minds that prayer from a multitude of believers all over the world will turn things around. Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 1Timothy 2:1-2(NLT), “1 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.” As God’s children, He instructs us to take on His nature. This means that we should practice the example of Jesus Christ daily. When it comes to actively living through God’s love, we should never assume the posture of sitting idly by with our hands tuck beneath our laps. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must get busy doing what the Father has commanded us to do.

    2Timothy 1:9(NLT) says, “For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.” We have received a holy calling from our Dear Heavenly Father, and to walk in this calling is going to require some things of us, and prayer is chief among them. James 5:16 tells us that the prayers of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. This is because of what the obedient believer carries in them. The Holy Spirit lives inside us, and we have been given the authority of Jesus Christ in the earth. With this authority comes the privilege and honor to partner with Heavenly Father by praying for others.

    We can look at the current times and see that as Christians we haven’t been as diligent as we should when it comes to praying for our country, its citizens, and its leaders. But Jude 1:17-21(NLT) encourages us to tighten up:

    17 But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ predicted. 18 They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. 19 These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them. 20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, 21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

    This passage should ignite our renewed commitment and responsibility to live holy and pray often. We don’t know the day nor the hour when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will return, but it’s our duty and call to keep our house in order, to remain alert and on guard, and to pray for all people. Then, we should seal our prayers with the deepest level of gratitude we can muster for how good God has been to each of us. Heavenly Father has brought us a mighty long way, and He will never leave or forsake us when our trust is firmly anchored in Him through Jesus Christ. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Pray for All People” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Plan for Your Life Works

    God’s Plan for Your Life Works

    I watched an interview last week of a woman that described her disappointment in getting back into the dating scene. She’s 35 years-old and is really having a challenging time. She wonders if she’ll ever find love again. Her divorce was very painful, and now that she has to raise two young girls, she wants to be sure she’s setting an example of strength. Having a two-parent home is also very important to her. She wants her girls to believe in the institution of marriage and doesn’t want them to develop fear around it. Considering the difficulty she’s encountered with finding someone special, she wonders if she can reassure her daughters that you can have a marriage where both partners are loyal, happy, and fulfilled.

    As parents, it is not only loving but responsible of us to consider that our attitudes and behaviors will influence our children in a big way. The Old Testament speaks of generational sins and curses that were passed from generation to generation. This isn’t because God passed them, but because negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the parents were never confronted with the truth of God’s Word. The parents never repented from these things, and therefore continued the poor and wrong behaviors. They modeled them before their children; then their children became parents who then, again, modeled them before the eyes of their children. Sin and negativity were passed down, and the more the sinful patterns continued, the more entrenched they became. We see this with many addictions, dysfunction, and isms in our family cultures and communities.

    20/20 Hindsight
    Pain and struggle are often calling cards for change. They signal that we need to find our way back to God’s plan for our lives. This is such a good lesson for us. Many people totally ignore the reality that the complexities of life can cause them to get off the path of God’s purpose. The solution to getting back on the path is to remove the blockers that keep us from it. It’s to pursue God’s wisdom and find out what He requires, so we can follow the path that He’s laid before us. This isn’t the path we choose, it’s the path that He, and only He, has chosen for us.

    Sometimes we have generational stuff hiding out in our hearts, and we have neither confronted nor repented from them. We have negative patterns, sometimes quite nasty ones, that surface with the significant people in our lives. Divorce and heartbreaks of any kind can provide a lens that will help us reflect on our own behavior. When we’re in a relationship and things are not going well, some of us panic, go into denial, or play the blame game. The end of the relationship will often give us 20/20 hindsight. When we’re in it, we can’t see what we’re doing that may contribute to the relationship’s demise, but once it has ended, some of us see more clearly. We can look at the things we could have done differently. This perspective offers valuable clues, and we must be guided by the Spirit to analyze, heal, and deal with them.

    He doesn’t fail
    Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” This verse is very simply written and is easy to understand, but the impact of its truth is astounding. It provides the firm foundation on which we can anchor our hopes and dreams. All of us make plans for our futures, but one of the valuable lessons that a broken relationship can teach us is how quickly and dramatically our plans can fall apart. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must trade our plans for His plans.

    God said in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you…They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God is GOD! He doesn’t need any help from us to set His plan in motion. In Jeremiah 17:8, God says we’re like trees planted by the riverbank, with roots that reach deep down in the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat of the sun, but drink in its’ nourishment and don’t ever have to worry about a drought. The leaves of this tree remain green continually, and this tree never stops bearing fruit. The other truths reflected in this verse is that God created the tree, as well as the sun and the soil that keep it nourished. Everything about this tree and its’ care is included in God’s perfect plan.

    God causes all things to work together according to HIS purposes. He has a plan for our individual lives, and it cannot fail. His plan includes the well-being of our children, our spouses, our care, and every other provision we need. He wants the best for us, and He wants us to be happy, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is surrender our agenda for His agenda. It’s to stop worrying about how our children see our mistakes and make sure they see our commitment to Christ. When we yield to him and allow him to teach us how to be truly led by the Spirit, our lives will be a testament of God’s truth because we will be living and blessed according to His plan.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “God’s Plan for Your Life Works”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • When It’s Better to Live Alone

    When It’s Better to Live Alone

    Proverbs 21:9(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” Sometimes the truth spoken very plainly will slice and clarify with the sharpest knife. As a single person, our ears should perk up when we hear this verse in Proverbs 21:9. It should make us ask ourselves a few questions. The first of which is “what is God’s definition of a quarrelsome wife?” Many of us would attempt to answer this question very quickly, but that would be a mistake. One of the major reasons we see quite a few people that are disappointed in their significant relationships is because they’ve made impetuous and incorrect assumptions. These were made in areas of a relationship that required us to hear from God so we could be led by the Spirit. Instead, we assumed we knew best and ended up with a costly mistake.

    A quarrelsome wife
    Cross-referencing scripture and looking closely at Proverbs 21:9, a quarrelsome wife is a woman that is full of strife and bitterness, so much so that she is easily provoked to anger and uses angry words with her husband and children. This is a woman that probably seems quite nice out in public. It is only in her home environment, among those who know her best, when she allows the claws to come out. She speaks words that she knows in her heart are intentionally hurtful and has no regard for the reality that the people she is hurting are treasures that belong to God. A quarrelsome wife has issues. They are hiding out in her soul, yet they are apparent to everyone except her.

    Proverbs 21:9 paints a very clear picture that a woman can make a home a terrible place to be. Even if it is palatial and well-kept, a nagging wife can make the home a place where the man and children are under affliction. In times that seem peaceful, they are nervous and anxious about when she might explode again. Her home should be a place of rest, but she has saturated every crevice with the putrid odor of bitterness. And yet, folks who know her are under the false notion that she is the epitome of Godliness.

    Better to be in a corner
    It is very sad to say that the condition of many sisters’ hearts is so racked by deep-seated anger, bitterness, and the arrogance of entitlement, that singleness is epidemic. We are grieving the Holy Spirit because we have not truly repented and have refused to acknowledge how wrong we have been. It is from this place of wrongness that we make incorrect assumptions, and claim we are unaware of the harm we have already inflicted and will inflict in the future. Heavenly Father will not reward us with a treasure in this state. Instead, He warns the man to steer clear of a quarrelsome woman, because it is better that he lives alone in a corner of an attic than to live with her.

    All over the world, men have heeded this wisdom from God, even the ones that have never heard Proverbs 21:9. They know all too well what it means to live with a quarrelsome woman, because many of them have seen it in their own mothers. Any man, that is truly a man, will ultimately high tail it and run from a woman who comes against the anointing and authority he carries as a man. As women of God, we want to be respected and appreciated as treasures, and we must have an intention and commitment to treat every other person this way as well; especially those that live in our own homes.

    Proverbs 3:3(NIV) tells us, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” 2Corinthians 6:6 says that we prove ourselves by our purity, knowledge, patience, and kindness that is outwardly expressed in love from the Holy Spirit within. This is how we must live, and when it is our sole intention to do so, our attitudes and lives will change.■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “When It’s Better to Live Alone” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.