Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • Small Things Matter

    As we mature in Christ, we will notice certain correlations or parallels in our journeys forward. One of those involves our level of fulfillment and satisfaction in life. It will match our confidence level regarding our own ability to impact the Kingdom of God. 1Peter 4:10-11 (NLT) tells us, “10 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever!” Some of us feel a little insecure in this area, and we really do need to get this one under our belts before we embark upon marriage.

    A good place to start is to think about what you feel are your best qualities. Consider what makes you unique and special. The qualities that you are willing to cosign on your own behalf are also ones that will lead you down a more purpose-driven path. We will often make things more complicated than they need to be. Jesus Christ told us in Matthew 11:30 that his yoke is easy and his burden is light, but we still make the reality of walking in our purposes such a difficult thing. God never intended it to be.

    Romans 12:6 (NLT) tells us, “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.” God created us, and predestined us according to the purposes of His own Will. He’s not slack in any way, and never misses a beat, so we can have confidence that we are uniquely specialized to carry forth something He has ordained. He made sure that we were born with everything we need to be a blessing and to influence and impact those we know and love for His Kingdom.

    A while ago, when my schedule was a little lighter, I’d stay up late watching cooking shows on TV.  Featured desserts were my favorite. I grew up around women that could sho’nuff burn in the kitchen. They didn’t need recipes. A pinch here, a sprinkle there; a cup of this, a teaspoon of that, and a masterpiece of southern cuisine was born. I never thought much about baking then, I was too busy enjoying the fruit of my kinfolk’s labor. My aunt’s pound cake would literally melt in your mouth, and I just always assumed the skill was beyond me, but one day something happened. My interest in those television shows had caught me by surprise, and I decided to give baking a try. Homemade Chocolate Chip cookies, Caramel Cake from scratch, you name it, I tried it.

    At first, my sweets were not such a treat, but after a while, I got the hang of it. “You put ya’ foot in this, girl!”  My family and friends often say after eating my homespun yummies from scratch. I’ll go through periods where I don’t bake, but something within me will say, “It’s time to get to it again.” The habit pattern of baking is now ingrained in my life because I’ve chosen to give in this way. Single or married, I’m committed to do it because it is one of the ways I endeavor to be a blessing. At one time I thought, “Father, being a blessing can’t be as simple as giving folks desserts.” But indeed it is. The Spirit reminds me constantly that I should never overlook the small or simple things, because they mean so much to others.

    Heaven rejoices when we honor God with actions to be a blessing. When we do things well and use whatever we’ve been given to bless folks, God receives the praise. This is why we can never hide what He has given us. A hunch or a casual interest can be expanded to an extremely important opportunity that positions us to live greater for God. So build your confidence in your gifts, talents, and abilities; use them for God’s glory, and watch how He causes them to greatly increase your fulfillment and satisfaction in life!

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Small Things Matter!” written for findchristianman.com/blog/©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • You’re All in, But Him, Not So Much

    Gifts of expensive jewelry, bouquets of beautiful flowers, and dinners at nice restaurants; these are the tangible things that a lot of us associate with a man who is really interested in the woman he’s seeing. Keeping it real, these things can’t hurt, but the true foundation of the relationship is actually how a man interacts with you. The ‘umph’ in a relationship is when both partners are validating each other’s thoughts and feelings. In other words, it’s when he lets you know undeniably, that you are the woman he honors above all others.

    Of course, we should never make any person our all in all. Only God deserves this place in our lives, but Heavenly Father wants every woman to experience what it feels like to be genuinely valued and appreciated supremely. The man that chooses her as the object of his affection has the distinct responsibility to validate her in this way, and she has the responsibility for doing the same for him.

    Relationships lasts when both people are mutual in their degree of willingness to share and interact with each other while having a goal of increasing their love and support in mind. If you’re all in, and the other person isn’t quite there yet, you’re probably not going to receive the validation you need, and you shouldn’t settle for this.

    God said in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Heavenly Father has your back. He has a plan for you, and it is a good one. God only wants what’s best for us, and He knows what it will take to bless us. We can trust Him to take care of our needs, and we can know resolutely that He would not have us picking up crumbs on the floor when He has prepared a feast at the table.

    Be firm in your conviction to receive quality love, but also measure it against the love and support you’re willing to extend yourself. Recognize when you just don’t do it for the other person. Let him go in grace while you do the same. His refusal to be all in is a sure indication that he’s not yet capable of recognizing the jewel that is ‘you’. This isn’t a bad thing at all. You want someone who appreciates you and knows the importance of validating it in a loving and Godly way. So always remember that God wants the best for you and continue walking in faith until you receive it.

    Written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • It’s Just So Unfair!

    James 3:17 (NLT) “17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

    “I just can’t go to another wedding! My last single girlfriend just snagged a good man, and I don’t understand it. She hasn’t been on this Christian journey as long as I have, and I don’t think she’s as dedicated as I am. To make matters worse, she’s on her second go around, and I’ve never had a ring on my finger! It just doesn’t seem fair. Where am I going wrong?” This summarizes the sentiments of many sister-friends that are very frustrated. They’ve been single longer than they’d like and don’t understand why things are not working out for them.

    God provides for us a sure Word, a Word that we can count on no matter what, because God’s Word will never fail or falter. We can stand upon it and it will never let us down. In James 3:17, He tells us that His wisdom is pure. It is unadulterated. So when we see things that look to us to be unfair, we can rest assured that they may look that way, but God’s way is perfect.

    It is when we allow ourselves to indulge this sense that we are being wronged or unfairly treated in life that we make huge errors. The first mistake is forgetting that God’s wisdom is unfailing, and the second is neglecting that it does not show favoritism. This train of thought gains traction from our emotional responses, and once it does, it then has the power to affect our outcomes.

    God has told us to renew our minds for a reason, and one of those reasons is because the way we think plays a huge role in the amount of peace, abundance, and fulfillment we experience in life. Without putting ourselves in check, we begin to move in reverse and attract the exact opposite of the blessings we desire.

    The blessing of marriage is a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level reality. Therefore, it stands to reason that it will require a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level mentality and emotionality to build capacity for it. We can’t get there by indulging negativity and letting bottom feeding thoughts and emotions drag us beneath the realm of Godliness.  You can only get a higher functioning mind-and-heart set from trusting, knowing, and feeding upon God’s Word.  

    James 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The same energy that we waste by thinking and reacting to doubt, we can reroute towards having faith in the generosity of God. Transitioning from single to married takes decisive steps, just like any other thing that we seek to do in life. If you’re doing something that you shouldn’t be doing, or you’re not doing what you should be doing, and you’re not quite certain where you’re veering off the path, ask our generous God if you can’t figure it out. He won’t be mad about it. Through the Holy Spirit, He’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to receive the blessing you so earnestly desire. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “It’s Just So Unfair!”, written for Findingchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t You See It?

    Don’t You See It?

    Isaiah 43:15-19(NLT)
    15 I am the Lord, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. 16 I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. 17 I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. 18 “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

    When was the last time you got excited…I mean goosebumps, stomach flip-flopping, jumping out of your skin excited? Do you know the Christian walk should provoke this kind of jubilance from us every day? Well it definitely should! If you’re not experiencing this, the next logical question is why aren’t you? We may not feel like skipping through fields of sunflowers every moment of the day, but we must identify this level of energy, vigor, and joy as God’s goal for us. Not only is it His goal that we remain in a constant state of joy, but He’s done everything that could possibly be done to make it available to us. It’s now our responsibility to reach out, grab it, and make it our own.

    It is easier to be depressed, upset, angry, and doubtful than to be excited about what God wants to do in your life, and most importantly, what He has already done. The things that God has promised us, He is willing, able, and ready to fulfill. What’s the hold up? It’s usually us. We are not believing Him in faith, but instead, we have trained our minds to wait with wishful thinking. We ask, “God, why don’t I have this? What’s wrong? Why are You taking so long?” Many of us are not exercising faith in God, or the things He’s promised.

    God is waiting on us to change, and the changes we need to make must be consistent with His Word. Faith begins in the mind. The mind is our thought-processing center, and God designed it to be very logical. We feed it data. It computes, programs, and then catalogs this data based on where we tell it to go. Does it go to faith? Does it go to fear? Does it go to work, play, family, chores…we tell it how to house and catalog the data we’ve allowed in its gateway. If we tell it to catalog data that isn’t logical or doesn’t make sense, the mind tells itself that we don’t really believe the data it’s received.

    Let me give you a visual of this as it relates to your faith. The mind knows that we will only act on data or knowledge we believe. So, your mind will not accept that you believe ‘God is good all the time and all the time God is good’ if you also believe He punishes you. You’ve already programmed your mind that punishment is bad, so it will not accept that good and bad are the same. Trying to believe this will cause you to be unstable, and you won’t be able to receive the results of faith that you desire, because you will not act upon something you don’t believe. It is equally true that you can’t desire the Will of God in your life for marriage, and not equally desire to walk in the purpose to which you’ve been called. If you believe in God’s Will for you, the evidence will be your attentiveness to do it.

    Romans 10:17(NLT) states, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” And James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. From these two powerful verses, you and I can gather that if our attitude doesn’t compute with faith and our actions don’t compute with faith, then faith is not going to come. This is a very simple statement of truth, but many are still perplexed about why they are not receiving the results of their faith.

    Aren’t’ you tired of just having a little bit of your needs met? Aren’t you tired of hitting and missing? If you have some habits you need to get rid of or put aside, why not just do it and get yourself aligned with faith. Let the Lord know that you want His power to emanate within you. You must want what God wants for your life.

    Ephesians 3:20 affirms that we serve a God that deals in the exceedingly abundantly. He goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think. Don’t expect to continue doing the same things and expect different results. See God bigger! He wants to do a new a new thing in your life, and you must do everything humanly possible to follow His lead.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t You See It?” written for Findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Do Not Doubt What God is Doing In Your Life

    Do Not Doubt What God is Doing In Your Life

    You may be ostracized and isolated because you are a born-again Christian. Others within your circle of familiarity may band together, laughing and talking among themselves, and purposely exclude you. The person that is causing or has caused the most devastation in your life may be prospering wonderfully, and you, yourself, may be financially struggling. Perhaps the ex is living it up with the new person, and all you can do is watch by the sidelines, or maybe you were passed over for a promotion because of the color of your skin, and it was given to someone who flat out didn’t deserve it. These are situations that cut deep. They do not always seem rational or logical, and we can’t understand how the world can work this way, but it’s not for us to understand. Our responsibility and charge is to simply trust God no matter how things may look.

    The enemy wants us to doubt what God is doing. Just as the devil caused Adam and Eve to fall because they doubted God’s Word, the psalmist, David, reminded us that this too can happen to us if we are not watchful. Psalms 37 is probably on everyone’s list of favorites, and it is a powerful piece of wisdom and instruction. King David advises us in verse one, “Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.” The word “fret” conveys vexation and an incensed anger. It is a heated response of displeasure and annoyance. Many believe that David wrote this psalm as an encouragement to the Children of Israel, so they would not be angry as they witnessed the prosperity of evildoers. He warned them not to be indignant at the advancement of the wicked.

    Sisters and Brothers, this is such great instruction for us today, because some of us are so angry by what we see happening in the world. And when you couple this kind of anger with feelings of disappointment that many of us are wrestling with about our own lives, you’ve got a recipe that serves up an ample dose of doubt. If we’re going to get to that glorious place that God has intended for each of us to reach, doubt is the one thing we simply cannot afford to indulge.

    We don’t have the luxury of taking our eyes off the prize and casting them on what the enemy’s cronies are doing, because the moment we do this, we stand to lose out on the good things that God has planned for us. An angry response is a sure sign that our hearts are misplaced. When we get angry and allow our attention to be diverted to the prosperity that others seem to have, even though they may have it undeservedly, the underlying truth is that we’re doubting what God is doing in us and for us. He has plans to prosper us, and He has told us this in His Word.

    God has a way of handling evil doers and workers of iniquity. David told us in Psalm 37:2, “For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.” So don’t get tricked by the devil. Don’t be overly concerned with what is happening to them. Focus on what God is doing in YOUR life and cancel out any doubt in your mind and heart. Refuse to allow the enemy to steal your attention away from the victory that is yours to claim. This is where your attention must be.

    You don’t have to understand all the details that are happening in your life. Yes, things get crazy from time to time, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. Paul said in Romans 11:33 (NLT), “Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!” Don’t lean on your own understanding, lean on God! He knows what needs to be done in order to get you from point A to point B. He knows what needs to happen to increase you and bless you spiritually, and in every other way. So, no matter what may come—no matter how things look, just stay in God’s face, and trust Him! He’s doing something good in your life!

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Do Not Doubt What God is Doing In Your Life” written for findingchristianman.com©2019.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Happens When We Say Something Different from What God Says

    What Happens When We Say Something Different from What God Says

    How many teachings have you heard on the power of the tongue? I bet there have been quite a few, right?! Well, I’d like to submit something to you right now, and I believe that it is such a powerful piece of knowledge from God’s Word that it will literally change the course of your life. The instrument that is anchored on our faces, in the center, south of our noses, is the single greatest tool we own to partner with God’s Kingdom. Now this is not news to you, I know. You’ve heard Proverbs 18:21 plenty of times and you know that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This is bible! Yet, our tongues are still unruly. Many of us today still have so much trouble getting our tongues and our minds and hearts in sync with God’s Word. The words that come out of mouths can literally transform our existences and anchor each of us in the miraculous. If you will allow, I’d like to make this case from God’s Word in a way that is undeniable.

    When it comes to the words we speak, and the confessions we make, most of us are thinking backwards. What do I mean by this? Well, I know it’s rude to answer a question with another question but indulge me please. Let me begin this explanation by first asking how many of us are in need of a miracle in our lives today? Most of us are asking for a supernatural move of God in our conditions and circumstances. We’re praying that He will elevate us out of what we’re in and promote us to a new dimension of blessings. We tell the Father, “I’m still waiting on You, God. You need to fix this.”         

    God wants us to grow spiritually, and some of us expect to remain the same. Life dictates that challenges become more complex with the passage of time. If we’re not growing spiritually, we won’t be prepared for the complexities of challenges that are ahead. This is often one of the reasons why many single women view the prospect of crossing paths with a future husband to be difficult. The Spirit is willing, but their hearts and minds are not matured in Christ to the point of backing their faith with fully-persuaded action and believing.

    God warns us in Proverbs 4:23(NLT) “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Everything flows from our hearts. The words we speak are reflective of the treasure we carry within. This is one of the reasons God warns us to be on guard, so that we won’t allow the bad stuff in. And if we don’t allow the bad stuff in, we won’t have to worry that bad stuff will come out.

    God affirms that indeed there is power in the tongue, there is power in the words we speak. Faith requires the words that come out of our mouths to be on board with the life we desire for ourselves. If you are using your power to say something different from what God says, you are demonstrating that you’re not ready spiritually, and in every other way, to receive the blessings you seek. As spiritually mature men and women, we must know that if we refuse to humble ourselves in this area of our lives; God certainly will not reward our refusal.

    We are to be aware that our mouths contain within them a rebellious urge to spew words that are so contradictory to the existence we want and deserve that it’s just flat out ridiculous. The moment before we speak contradictory words, our brains do some calculating, and we think, “I know I shouldn’t be speaking this way, but I’ve got to let this out. It’s negative. It bears false testimony and witness of God’s unbelievable goodness, but I’ve always spoken this way, so I’m going to keep on talking.” The truth of what we’re really conveying is, “I’m going to keep on creating exactly the thing that I’m speaking forth, all because I don’t trust the instrument that God has given me to effect real and lasting change in my life.”

    God’s Word, the Bible, is the perfect demonstration that words have power. God’s Word will transform lives, situations, and circumstances for the better. If we say the same things that He says, imagine the outcome. Our Heavenly Father’s Word is the truth! And God blesses His Word; He backs it up! So, if you speak what He speaks, you can’t lose. But if you are speaking something that doesn’t invite the blessings of God into your life, then exactly what do you think you’re inviting?

    In Mark 11:22-23 (NKJV), Jesus Christ said, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” Notice that the Master didn’t say “whoever thinks about this mountain…” He said “whoever says…” The mouth is the key to activating faith.

    Faith comes by HEARING God’s Words. Faith works by SPEAKING God’s Words. Faith cannot be separated from the leading of the Holy Spirit. You are a spiritual being, and you must align your words in partnership with the indwelling Holy Spirit to move by his power. It’s not your power; it’s His, and if you bind him through your words, he cannot work on your behalf. We think backwards because we wait year after year for God to move, but He has already moved. He has already empowered you, and you are poised for greatness by the confessions, prophecies, and declarations of His Word that flow from your lips. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Happens When We Say Something Different from What God Says” written by for FindChristianMan.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t Miss God’s Best

    Don’t Miss God’s Best

    I was in the city, walking downtown this week, and as I was crossing a very busy intersection, I crossed paths with a young woman that was totally consumed with a conversation on her cell phone. With her headphones on, she seemed to be oblivious to everything going on around her. I stared in amazement at how engaged she was, because cars were zooming back and forth, and she wasn’t concerned whatsoever. This kind of unmindful behavior can be very dangerous, particularly with so much happening in our world. I thought about this young woman later that day. It reminded me that this is the kind of opportunity the enemy waits for, when our focus is in the wrong direction, and we’re asleep and careless just as she had been. This is when many of us will walk right into traps unknowingly; especially when it comes to relationships with men.

    When we’re younger, we tend to take a carefree approach to life, but as we mature and get older, we see firsthand that things can change very quickly. A person’s world can be turned upside down in less time than the blink of an eye. God doesn’t want us to walk around in fear, but He does want us to be alert and aware.

    1Peter 5:8 (NIV) tells us, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Many single sisters are due for a season of supernatural blessings, the likes of which they have not experienced before. We’ve heard from great prophets, teachers, and preachers that the body as a whole is entering a period of accelerated increase on many fronts. The relationships we’ve been waiting on, the financial breakthroughs we’ve been praying to receive, the marital restorations and job promotions that we’ve been waiting patiently to embrace…these are all getting ready to burst through.

    The problem is that so many of us are still asleep. Our eyes are no more opened than they were two years ago. We’ve really got to do something about this, because mindfulness is one of the key ways in which Heavenly Father measures our ability to handle the blessings we seek. Not only must we prepare ourselves spiritually to receive, if we do not take care of the blessings we already have, like the man that hid his master’s silver in the ground rather than investing it, we may find ourselves in a position where they, too, will be taken away.

    God neither holds our blessings back nor takes them away. He has designed the universe in such a way that opportunities appear when we are ready to seize them. God’s people have prepared themselves through His Word, and they are poised to take possession, but there are still some of us that haven’t focused on God to the extent that we can recognize danger in our midst. 2 Corinthians 11:14 warns us that satan disguises himself as an angel of light. This alerts us to the fact that something that seems like a blessing can end up being a set up.

    2 Peter 1:10 (NLT) tells us, “So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. “As single Christian women, we must be more than confident that God is going to bless us with a wonderful husband, because He is absolutely going to do this, but we can’t be so caught up in what we want that we forget our allegiance to be dutiful and diligent to God.

    No matter how comfortable things may look and feel, don’t let your guard down. Don’t discount the fact that often things happen to us because we allow them to. Know that before your breakthrough comes, the enemy will seek to find out how far you are willing to move away from the foundation of Jesus Christ. Don’t take the bait. Don’t make the mistake of missing God’s best. Seek Him continually, diligently, and earnestly before you make investments of love and care in a new relationship. Wait on His divine directive and be willing to walk away if you don’t receive it. If you pay much closer attention to God and continue to make Him your focus, He will make sure that you don’t miss your blessing. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide. 

    “Don’t Miss God’s Best” written for FindingChristianMan.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” When you’re coming out of a relationship that didn’t go as expected, it can be really challenging to remain optimistic about your marital future. I was in this situation, and 2 Corinthians 12:9 really ministered to my heart. I was sure I’d marry the Christian man that I had known for a few years and truly loved. We got along great, but he held certain beliefs about women that wasn’t aligned with God’s Word. We were both very adamant about pursuing the Lord with our whole hearts, but even though we were Christians, we couldn’t get past this obstacle. He had received counsel and advice in this area that was completely different than what I believed God wanted for us as believers.

    This period in my life was one of those times that I questioned God a lot. I asked the same thing that many Christian women ask when it comes to getting their hearts smashed, “God, why did You let this happen to me?” I was sure this relationship would work out and that we’d walk hand in hand through life.  The man that I thought would be my husband is such a gentle and caring man. He has the most compassionate heart of any person I had ever met. Most of the pieces seemed to fit, but there were certain areas—very important areas—where he was unwilling to compromise. In a relationship, sometimes this quality can make the other person feel like they are enslaved by four unmovable and impenetrable walls. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

    I felt exactly as the Psalmist described in Jeremiah 8:18(NLT) “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken.” There was no meeting half-way between the two of us. He was not going to budge and allow the Spirit to really minister to his heart, and I felt that he should have. I was torn and conflicted. I began to regret that we had met, and my mind drifted to doubt and dismay. It wasn’t until I was able to hear God’s strong Word come through the mouths of wise, Godly women that I began to see clearly.

    One of the reasons I was so hurt is that when it all boiled down to it, this man had been taught something that I knew wasn’t biblical, and he was not willing to release it. On one hand, I witnessed his incredible compassion and kindness, and on the other hand I saw stubbornness on a level I had never seen. It really hurt my feelings to see that his love for me was not as strong as mine was for him. No matter how I tried to spin it, this is what it came down to.

    There can be power in the pain. You’re not really thinking about this when you’re going through tough times. You just want the pain to stop and to get through the situation without feeling as though you’re losing more of yourself. The truth is that there is always going to be triumph after pain for the Christian. You’re going to know more, be stronger, and most importantly you will be better prepared for the right opportunity when it comes along.

    I saw with my own two eyes the damage wrong believing can do, even to those who are Christians. I saw how it immobilizes a person when they refuse to grow and know more, and how it causes them to be stuck in all kinds of ways. Because I cared so deeply for this man, and was totally emotionally invested, I could have continued trying to hang on to something I knew in my heart was not going to work. I’m so thankful that I let it go, and did so without bitterness in my heart.

    I knew the truth of God’s Word, and it will never, ever let us down. I grabbed on to Jesus Christ with all the strength within me, and I trusted that my latter days would be greater than my former. I leaned on Jesus Christ to get me through, and he did not disappoint me.

    Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deserves to be the head of our lives. He can carry the weight of our pain, and turn it into victory. This is why he tells us in Matthew 11:30(NLT), “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” He is our burden-bearer, and we need to be patient as his power strengthens our weaknesses. Pain is a calling card for change, and we have to stop ignoring the signal, because it lets us know that we are undermining ourselves, and not loving ourselves as Christ loves us. We’re accepting something that isn’t a part of our destinies, even though we may have been sure at one time that it was.

    So if you are holding on to something that makes you feel bad about your life or yourself, make the decision to let God show up for you. It may feel uncomfortable letting go, but you’ll soon feel a sense of relief because you’re trusting God to be your sufficiency. He will ALWAYS take care of you, and shower you with His goodness and mercy. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would”, written by K.Y. Renee for Findchristianman.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    You didn’t just all of a sudden decide to be God’s child. He handpicked you out before you were even in your mother’s womb. He purposed your existence before the foundation of the world. This mind-blowing piece of revelation isn’t news to you I’m sure, because Ephesians 1:5, 11 confirms it in God’s Word. You have a purpose, and because of this purpose within God’s Plan and Will, there have been certain things that haven’t come easy for you. You might even feel as though you’ve had more than your fair share of struggle and opposition. There may have been more people working against you than those that have worked with you, and you can’t understand why everything has to be so difficult at times. Why is it that you continue to endure hardships through the wait, and your breakthrough still hasn’t happened?

    It is no secret that your breakthrough and purpose are connected. God has goals for each of us, and one of His greatest goals is for truth to become the prominent part of our nature. He wants His Word to so permeate our brain cells and hearts that when we enter a room, the first thing that people see is the Christ in us. There’s a process to this. The reason why we know it is a process is because we are not all that we are going to be at the point we first confess and give our lives to Christ. There is still yet caboodles of spiritual yumminess that we have to put on mentally and behaviorally as we journey forward in Christ.

    The one thing that you must know with every fiber in your being is that the answer to the question “Where is my breakthrough?” is contained in the piece of truth that you have yet to put on in your mind and heart. You can deny this, neglect it, and refuse to do anything about it, but every single occurrence in your life will bring you back to this reality. There is no denying that you have gained biblical knowledge and spiritual know-how over the years. This is in your arsenal right now, but as it relates to the breakthrough blessing that you are seeking for your life, there’s a specific truth that you haven’t yet comprehended on the deepest level. You haven’t comprehended it on a level that spearheads a transformation that is required for the blessing you seek.

    It isn’t God’s desire that we suffer and struggle, but some of us go through it so much longer than we need to because we won’t seek God with all of our hearts, strength, souls, and minds for this particular piece of spiritual armor. His grace and mercy covers us through the struggle, but it doesn’t remove from us the responsibility to seek. It is our obligation to prove to Heavenly Father that we can handle the heft of the blessing we desire. We’re more than conquerors, and Jesus Christ has already told us in Luke 12:48(KJV) that “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” The ‘much’ that is required is continued spiritual growth in the Holy Spirit.

    You are so close to the breakthrough you’ve been praying to receive. Continue to pray for revelation regarding your purpose, and pay very close attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. You are rising higher in faith, patience, and endurance. Very soon, your purpose and breakthrough will intersect, and not only will you receive the blessing you’ve been praying about, but most importantly,  you will have a greater intimacy in your relationship with Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    “When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect” written for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy

    She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy

    facm-do-not-doubtMark 11:23-24(NLT)
    “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea, and it will happen.  But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. 24 I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”

    Jesus Christ told us that if we say to this mountain, “be lifted up and thrown into the sea”, it will happen.  But here’s the thing, you must really believe that it’s going to happen, and you must not have doubt in your heart. Many of us will probably not admit it, but having doubt in our hearts is where we miss the boat. Doubt is a dream killer, and it’s a sneaky thing too. We may think we’re trusting God enough. We think that if we keep begging and repeating the same prayer, after a while, it’s going to happen.  And when it doesn’t happen, when the prayer request we desire most doesn’t materialize, many of us lose it!

    God doesn’t withhold blessings. He doesn’t punish us, and He never makes a mistake. So, if it’s not God, we have to take a blatantly honest look at ourselves. 2Corinthians 13:5 (NKJV) says, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith.” This is really difficult for many women to do. They can’t bring themselves to consider that something they may be doing or something they may NOT be doing is blocking their blessing.

    God isn’t telling us to take a good long look in the mirror to place us in self-condemnation. He wants to help us put some corrective measures in place. 2Timothy 3:16 tells us that ALL scripture is God breathed, and is useful to teach us the truth, and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. The scripture corrects us when we’re going off the rails, and it instructs us in God’s righteousness. Whenever you and I have an attitude that’s continually open to correction by God’s Word, it delights the Holy Spirit that dwells within. Our humility gives him permission to help us get rid of the things that are holding us back.

    This week, I had a conversation with a woman who for many years has made a habit pattern of doubt, and refuses to admit it. She simply doesn’t trust God’s Word enough, and it is evident by her actions. She told me a female friend of hers recently called her up out of the blue to ask for a picture of her.  She thought it was an odd request. It turns out that her friend’s boyfriend has a brother, and she wanted to introduce them to each other. I thought it was a very nice gesture, but as she’s done many times before, this woman immediately began a recitation of what she will and will not accept, and this new guy would have to check off the requirements on her list before she would agree to provide the picture.

    Every woman has the right to want what she wants, but when we don’t give our desires to God and allow Jesus Christ to spearhead the process, we’re not on the winning side. We can’t control all the details, and when we make a habit pattern of trying to do this, we make ‘doubt’ our friend and ‘faith’ our enemy. We cut off ourselves from the blessing God wants to introduce into our lives.

    Baggage is an equal opportunity employer, and we all have it. We have to recognize this. It’s the only way to move it out of our way. Being flexible and humble when it comes to God’s Will for our lives is a requirement, but some of us are simply too stubborn and arrogant to get out of our own way. This keeps us stuck.

    1John 5:14(NLT) tells us, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” Faith requires us to ask according to God’s Will; not our will, but His. He knows what’s best for us. Rather than trying to control the outcomes, we need to simply pray and ask Heavenly Father to keep us in His Will. Romans 8:28 tells us that He causes everything to work together for our good. Yes, sometimes, faith also requires us to step outside our comfort zones, but we’ve got to be willing to squash the habits that keep us stuck, and be obedient to God so that we can move forward in our quest for a successful marital union.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!