Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

Oops! Did I Say That?

Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” In my opinion, the heft and impact of this truth is grossly overlooked, particularly by those of us desiring to partner in marriage. Like many of you, I’ve read and heard it many times, and it reminds me continually to play close attention to the words I speak. This verse also reminds me of an incident that occurred when I dated someone in my early twenties. He made it very clear how much he cared for me, and while we were on a date one evening, he asked me how I felt about him. I hadn’t yet learned the economy of words or how to filter them through the love of God. If it came to my mind, often it flew from my lips without careful thought. So, when the young man asked me this question, immediately what came out was “You don’t know how to handle me yet.” Even today, I marvel at how immature a statement that was. I chalk it up to youthful arrogance and ignorance.

Needless to say, Proverbs 18:21 hadn’t been rooted in my mind and heart at all in my twenties. Spiritually preparing for marriage means that when the right question is asked, we don’t have to look back to an “oops!” moment, but we respond with the right answer. It’s an answer motivated from a heart that is ripe with the love of Christ. Preparation means that we need to study scripture several times to make sure we understand it; so that the revelation of it really sinks in.

Although Proverbs 18:21 is a simple and short verse, it packs a powerful punch. Our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others but block our blessings as well. We sometimes forget how easily offensive our words can be. They have the potential to create things or destroy them. And because as women we tend to be more in touch with our emotions, we are also sometimes better at weaponizing this skill for our own purposes. We must be extremely cautious about this—of letting our emotions guide our tongues towards the business of sowing seeds of anger and destruction.

Just as we have certain characteristics and qualities that are baked in, our male counterparts do as well. They were appointed by God to be protectors and providers for their families, and they are instructed by God in Ephesians 5:25 to love their wives as Christ loves the church. We can see that this is a mix of being very strong on one hand, and very tender on the other. As women of God, we are obligated to handle both with care.

It is not easy for anyone to be vulnerable with their emotions, but we should be able to appreciate that this can be especially challenging for many men. Quite naturally we must be prepared for the reality that when a man makes his heart vulnerable, we must respond with an increased sensitivity in how we use our words. This becomes even more important when there are disagreements in the relationship.

The wisdom of Proverbs 21:19(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” I know the sting of loneliness. It is indeed a desert, and I couldn’t tolerate even a hint of a possibility that my future husband would be better off there than with me. So, over the years, I committed myself to learn to use my words to build and uplift rather than tearing down. I would love to say that there was no cost to growing spiritually in this area, but that wouldn’t be true. There were steep and challenging circumstances I endured. It was all because I failed to heed God’s instruction and to practice wisdom and economy when it comes to my mouth. I knew that I needed to spiritually grow in this area, not just because I wanted to be a Godly wife, but because I wanted to be my best for God and the agenda of His Kingdom.

When our tongues are undisciplined, we’ll find ourselves repeatedly and regretfully asking “Oops! Did I say that?” It’s a question we’ll ask way more than we’d like, because even we are surprised by what comes out of our mouths. We have a responsibility to trade in this habit as we train ourselves to think and speak words that are pleasing to God. The last thing any of us should ever want to do is injure and hurt with our words. Let’s pray for guidance in this area. I encourage you to ask the Lord to teach you to be more sensitive in your speech and conversation. Then you will be poised to speak life into your husband and family, and in so doing, you will partner with the Lord to help preserve the unity and strength of your marriage. ■

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Oops! Did I Say That?“ written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 18, 2021
God’s Seal of Approval

It really breaks my heart to see someone accept less than what they should in relationships. It has absolutely nothing to do with pride but everything to do with what God’s Word declares for His children. God blesses His Word in an undeniable way, and whenever we believe and trust it, His promises can’t help but come to pass. The question facing many of us today is are we truly hungry for God’s Word. Are we hungry for the love and truth that is contained in a relationship with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ? This is such a pivotal question because if at the seat of our hearts, we only want the husband, God knows this; for nothing is hidden from Him. It’s incredibly important to examine our hearts and make sure a seal of approval from God is what we’re after, because this is the fountain from which all His blessings overflow.

In John 6:26-27(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs. But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval.” Jesus Christ understood that nothing in life is more important than pleasing God. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in all that we do. This is the way to secure the kind of rich and satisfying life that Jesus made available. It’s to pray to God to help us live according to what He says in His Word. We can’t do it on our own, but through the Spirit of Christ that lives within, we can be and do all that God has purposed.

We don’t have time to waste by being consumed with things that are here today and gone tomorrow. We should want to spend our time on eternal matters. This means that we have to be careful about our actions and decisions. It’s sometimes challenging for us because no one likes to feel hopeless or powerless. We want to feel like we’re in control of our lives. When it comes to the crowd that followed Jesus in this record in John 6, I’m sure some of them felt disenfranchised and disappointed in life. They wanted to stop feeling this way. They wanted access to the power that Jesus Christ demonstrated and spoke about, and they asked him how to get it. John 6:29(NLT) says, “Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.””

Jesus Christ is the bread of life! As human beings, we know thirst, and we know hunger. Being hungry signals the brain that the body is lacking or is deficient, because it doesn’t have what it needs. Food is one of life’s most basic necessities, and every human knows how important it is. As we come to a spiritual understanding about Jesus Christ, we must know that our Father created life to need more than the nourishment that comes from food. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 4:4(NKJV), “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ” We need God’s Word to live life in all its fullness.

When a beloved sister has been praying to cross paths with her husband for a long time, she may feel hopeless and powerless to change her situation, but here’s the reality: it’s not her responsibility to change it. Philippians 4:19 (NLT) declares, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” It is God who supplies our needs. Our goal should be to move anything that keeps us from pleasing Him out of the way.

God blesses His Word and all who believe and trust in it. His Word never goes out without accomplishing the thing for which He sent it. Our Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and Romans 5:5 affirms that the hope we have in Christ will not lead to disappointment. So, you are not asked to have faith in your own ability to supply your needs, because you can’t. From the least to the greatest, everything that you and I enjoy comes from God, and we have it only because He allowed it. You must trust that God has elevated His Word above His name and He will always back His Word. He’s faithful to it. Your responsibility is to be patient, to be obedient to God’s Word, and to trust Him with your whole heart, no matter what. This is what it takes to receive God’s seal of approval, and it is worth more than life itself. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Seal of Approval” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 11, 2021
A Big Dose of Truth

1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) declares, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” All that we are and all that we could ever hope to be is because of our Creator. We owe God our lives, and every breath that we breathe is only possible because of His amazing grace. He made the air and everything else that is necessary for our living. Most of us are aware of our Heavenly Father’s unyielding generosity, yet many of us still do not have an acceptable level of gratitude that goes hand in hand with this awareness. It is very possible, and often reality, that we receive gifts, and we are not deeply thankful for them. The practice of being deeply grateful for gifts is an important awareness. It’s especially important for those praying to meet their future marital partners because it reveals what Heavenly Father requires. Many of us are praying for a Godly partner that will love and honor us, however, we haven’t given much thought to how we will continually demonstrate our gratitude to God for such a gift.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called by God to live consistent with who He’s made us in Christ. Heavenly Father has designed life in such a way that the closer we are to the example of Christ, the more rewards we will receive. Life does not open doors for you and me unless we have the key. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:19 that actively pursuing and walking in his example is the key. It allows us to loose things and bind them up both in heaven and in the earth. In other words, Jesus has provided everything we need to open doors that lead to treasures, but every time we do something against the Will of God—every time we engage behaviors and attitudes outside his example, we move ourselves further away from the door.

Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father isn’t trying to make us feel bad, nor does He want us continually being down on ourselves. He wants the absolute best for us. He doesn’t want us to fall into the trap of sin and then not understand how we landed there. Through His Spirit, the scriptures, and through those that have been speaking and teaching His Word, Heavenly Father has warned us about sin and its consequences. Yet, many of us have chosen to ignore His warning and we’ve stepped outside His Will. He doesn’t punish us for doing this, but there is a consequence, nonetheless. Every action has a consequence, and sometimes it comes with a pretty big price.

Again, we owe God everything, and the question we must ask is how we’re going to demonstrate that we understand this truth. We can actually say words that communicate we’re thankful to Him, but words mean very little without the action to back them up. There must be some evidence of our gratitude. God is looking for something in the way we live that proves our commitment to His Word. He tells us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to Him, because this is the least we can do for all He’s done for us. To get a visual of what He’s requiring in Romans 12:1, we first need to recall the relationships we’ve had in the past, and how we responded to the pressure to do things we knew were not Godly. We must remember the attitudes and emotions we displayed, and then be courageous enough to measure how far they were from the example of Christ.

We can never repay God for all He’s done, and He isn’t asking us to. What He wants is for us to present ourselves to Him so that He can help us to transform. He wants to have His way with those attitudes and behaviors that are working against us. In order to show our gratitude to God, we must have faith that He is indeed a Rewarder. We must trust that if we offer our whole beings, He will accept them and do a work within us through Jesus Christ.

The treasure of marriage isn’t being withheld from anyone. The consequences of sinful actions move us away from the Father’s Will, and they also move us away from what we desire most. This is a big dose of truth and many single folks are not ready to accept it, but this is the wrong attitude. There is tremendous hope and reward linked with God’s correction when we accept it. Heavenly Father is a God of love. 1John 4:19(NLT), tells us, “We love each other because he loved us first.” God wrote the book on love, not us. He is the One that has set the patterns for how love behaves.

There must be a willingness on our part to stop doing the things that displease Him. Instead, we must come to God in total humility and ask Him to order our steps according to His Will. His love lifts us up, and we must trust this with our whole hearts, because trusting in His love moves us closer to the example of Christ.

Heavenly Father delights in rewarding His children, but we must continually give Him something to reward. Our commitment to walk in the love of Christ must be demonstrated now, through our willingness to put our love for God above the temptation of sin. It’s not about the kind of perfume or the clothes we wear. It’s the love of Christ that wins people’s hearts. This is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God, by our obedience to the example of Christ. When we prove that we are able to love a spouse from a place of spiritual maturity and obedience to God, the right door will appear. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Big Dose of Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 13, 2021
God’s Plan for Your Life Works

I watched an interview last week of a woman that described her disappointment in getting back into the dating scene. She’s 35 years-old and is really having a challenging time. She wonders if she’ll ever find love again. Her divorce was very painful, and now that she has to raise two young girls, she wants to be sure she’s setting an example of strength. Having a two-parent home is also very important to her. She wants her girls to believe in the institution of marriage and doesn’t want them to develop fear around it. Considering the difficulty she’s encountered with finding someone special, she wonders if she can reassure her daughters that you can have a marriage where both partners are loyal, happy, and fulfilled.

As parents, it is not only loving but responsible of us to consider that our attitudes and behaviors will influence our children in a big way. The Old Testament speaks of generational sins and curses that were passed from generation to generation. This isn’t because God passed them, but because negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the parents were never confronted with the truth of God’s Word. The parents never repented from these things, and therefore continued the poor and wrong behaviors. They modeled them before their children; then their children became parents who then, again, modeled them before the eyes of their children. Sin and negativity were passed down, and the more the sinful patterns continued, the more entrenched they became. We see this with many addictions, dysfunction, and isms in our family cultures and communities.

20/20 Hindsight
Pain and struggle are often calling cards for change. They signal that we need to find our way back to God’s plan for our lives. This is such a good lesson for us. Many people totally ignore the reality that the complexities of life can cause them to get off the path of God’s purpose. The solution to getting back on the path is to remove the blockers that keep us from it. It’s to pursue God’s wisdom and find out what He requires, so we can follow the path that He’s laid before us. This isn’t the path we choose, it’s the path that He, and only He, has chosen for us.

Sometimes we have generational stuff hiding out in our hearts, and we have neither confronted nor repented from them. We have negative patterns, sometimes quite nasty ones, that surface with the significant people in our lives. Divorce and heartbreaks of any kind can provide a lens that will help us reflect on our own behavior. When we’re in a relationship and things are not going well, some of us panic, go into denial, or play the blame game. The end of the relationship will often give us 20/20 hindsight. When we’re in it, we can’t see what we’re doing that may contribute to the relationship’s demise, but once it has ended, some of us see more clearly. We can look at the things we could have done differently. This perspective offers valuable clues, and we must be guided by the Spirit to analyze, heal, and deal with them.

He doesn’t fail
Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” This verse is very simply written and is easy to understand, but the impact of its truth is astounding. It provides the firm foundation on which we can anchor our hopes and dreams. All of us make plans for our futures, but one of the valuable lessons that a broken relationship can teach us is how quickly and dramatically our plans can fall apart. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must trade our plans for His plans.

God said in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you…They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God is GOD! He doesn’t need any help from us to set His plan in motion. In Jeremiah 17:8, God says we’re like trees planted by the riverbank, with roots that reach deep down in the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat of the sun, but drink in its’ nourishment and don’t ever have to worry about a drought. The leaves of this tree remain green continually, and this tree never stops bearing fruit. The other truths reflected in this verse is that God created the tree, as well as the sun and the soil that keep it nourished. Everything about this tree and its’ care is included in God’s perfect plan.

God causes all things to work together according to HIS purposes. He has a plan for our individual lives, and it cannot fail. His plan includes the well-being of our children, our spouses, our care, and every other provision we need. He wants the best for us, and He wants us to be happy, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is surrender our agenda for His agenda. It’s to stop worrying about how our children see our mistakes and make sure they see our commitment to Christ. When we yield to him and allow him to teach us how to be truly led by the Spirit, our lives will be a testament of God’s truth because we will be living and blessed according to His plan.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Plan for Your Life Works”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 30, 2021
Looking for Treasures Where There Are None

When a man decides to go down on one knee and ask a woman to be his wife, it means she’s presented to him something that makes him decide to deny the pursuit of any other woman. He chooses as his wife the woman that satisfies something within him. This choice signals the world of this man’s intentions. A woman then has a choice to make. She can either accept the man’s offer of marriage, or she can deny it. If she denies it, in a perfect world they’d both go their separate ways, and part as friends. They’d realize that although one person is ready to make this commitment, the other is not in agreement; therefore, they can’t walk down that aisle together. But if both are in agreement, they can make something beautiful together. This is what many single women are hoping and praying will happen to them one day soon.

The most important decision two people in a relationship will make is deciding if they should get married to one another. But before this stage is even a consideration, the two of them should be walking in agreement with God, seeking Him continually for those all-important green lights. We can’t be naive about this, because many people have been blind-sighted. They thought they received an ‘all clear’, when actually they didn’t. Sometimes, single people will translate good chemistry between them and the new person as a sign. In this scenario, the conversations are good, the new guy is saying all the right things, and he checks off most of the qualities on the top tier on their list. Because a single woman may have been praying a long while to meet someone of this caliber, she makes certain assumptions. Then, when things go wrong and don’t work out, she questions God as though He bears the responsibility for her poor choice.

The fact that we want to see certain characteristics in the person we hope to marry is admirable. To list them out is a worthwhile endeavor, but if we take the time to think and process what we desire in a mate, there’s another list that should have come before that one. It’s the ‘To Do’ list of our responsibilities to our Heavenly Father. The reason that we can’t have one without the other can be found in James 2:26(NLT). It tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.”

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is impossible to please God without faith, and from a practical standpoint, we know that faith is necessary for everything we do in life. Most of us know that we’re to have positive confessions and to get our thoughts aligned with the mind of Christ in order to walk in faith, but James 2:26 reminds us of one other crucial component. It tells us that for faith to be lively and active, it must be backed with the right actions.

Some will think that signing up at several dating sites is backing their faith with the right action. Others begin to go out more and involve themselves in various recreational activities, and they would say that these are actions geared towards backing their faith. We must consider that it’s very possible we need to dig a little deeper and travel more closely aligned with the Spirit, because the Spirit will take all the guesswork out of the equation. He will tell us exactly what we need to do to back our faith. James 1:5 tells us that God will not rebuke us for asking for His wisdom and guidance.

Jesus Christ warns us in Matthew 6:19-21(NLT), “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” We must think twice about looking for treasures where there are none, because if we’ve stored them on earth, the enemy will have a field day with them. Make sure your treasures are of the heavenly kind. These are those that can be stored there for safe keeping.

If our treasures are in heaven, our heart will be there too. This doesn’t diminish our pleasure but increases it. When our heart is set on pleasing God, He will reward us. Jesus Christ instructed us in Matthew 6:3-4(NLT), “But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” This is instruction from our Heavenly Father on how His flow of rewards is handled. We must be mindful that any ol’ thing we choose to do will not be rewarded. God’s stamp of approval must be on it in order for it to count. So let’s change up our strategy by placing it under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Then we can be confident that our desire for marriage does not override our commitment to make loving and honoring God our number one priority.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Looking for Treasures Where There Are None” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 9, 2021
3 Questions You Must Answer

If the person you’re dating isn’t ready for a marital commitment and you are, what are you expecting to happen? Do you expect that he will change his mind? Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you or are you willing to simply continue with things as they are? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and to examine the answers with as much scrutiny as possible. The major reason for this is because the answers are a good indication of how you see yourself and how you see God responding to your desire for marriage.

1 Do you expect that he will change his mind?
Heavenly Father did not intend that relationships would be as challenging as they are. But this is the thing about us humans, we bring complexity and confusion into just about every arena of life. 1Corinthians 14:33 tells us undoubtedly that God is not the author of confusion, so our goal forever and always should be to let His peace abide with us. The only way to achieve this is to seek and understand His Will.

Genesis 1:26(NLT) tells us, “Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” God created us in His image, and He also gives us our mission. It is to reign within the earth’s realm. This is God’s Will! He did not give any human being the right to reign over another person. We can’t see into another person’s heart, and we cannot control their minds. We are to have dominion and authority in our own lives. This means we cannot change how someone responds to us. The most that we can do is change how we respond to them.

2 Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you?
Love is a commitment, and it is a commitment we must honor through the Lord Jesus Christ. In John 15:13(NKJV), our Master Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” His example reveals that love isn’t consumed with what we receive, it is about the commitment we make to love and serve others through Christ. Again, humans complicate things way more than they need to be. We have taken the infallible treasure of love and tried to dice it up and split it in several different ways that suit our own agendas. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has demonstrated for us what love is and how it behaves, so we don’t get to put our spin on it. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and if authentic love is our goal, it must be expressed through our faith in Him.

After God created Adam, He saw that Adam was lonely. Genesis 2:20-23(NLT) tells us: “20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” Adam had all dominion and authority in the earth. He was not weak or lacking because he was created from God’s glory to be perfect in every way. But Adam was without a companion, and it was always God’s plan to make Eve from Adam’s body, so he would have a perfectly suited spouse to love.

Because God loves us, just as He did for Adam and Eve, He will take care of our needs. If we are representing Christ in the way that God requires, we should never allow ourselves to be overly concerned about whether someone loves us back. Instead, loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ must be our main focus and concern. 2Corinthians 3:5 tells us that God is our Sufficiency. Another person cannot fulfill that role, and if we think they can, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Therefore, we can never, under any circumstances, try to make another person our source or sufficiency. God is our Source. We must be very careful that we’re not trying to make a person our everything or depend on them to be. If we do this, we’ve stepped away from God’s love and may be in jeopardy of idolatry and obsession.

Are you willing to simply continue with things as they are?
God wants us to have happy lives and happy marriages. He doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less but wants our joy to be full. To accomplish this, the love of Jesus Christ must be firmly anchored in our hearts. When it isn’t, God will help us if we want to be helped. As we accept God’s help and commit ourselves to be led by His Spirit, we must accept that change is inevitable.

Things do not stay the same, and life doesn’t afford us the opportunity to continue being the same person we’ve always been. Therefore, we should not expect that the person we love will go on being who they are either. Life supports growth, change, and evolution; and all of it hangs on God’s purposes. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” So, the wisest thing we can do is be patient as God shows us what He has planned. Then, we can make decisions and choices in alignment with His Will, because these will be the best decisions and choices we can make for our lives.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“3 Questions You Must Answer“, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 2, 2021
Show Me How to Love

As human beings, we crave love, and whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most would do almost anything to have it. Many people today are still searching for that special someone, and they hope this person will shower them with the love they’ve always wanted. It’s no secret that there are disproportionately more single women desiring a committed relationship than men. They hope to find a man that has qualities comparable to their own, and that this quest will ultimately lead to marriage. They also hope this will not be prolonged much longer. Most single believers desiring marriage recognize that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to make it a reality. Every step that a person takes towards increasing their faith in Christ is impactful, and this is one of the reasons it’s so important to be led by the Spirit in all you do, especially when it comes to your desire for marriage.

The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” From the very beginning of our lives, as infants, we are comforted and become established in the unconditional love from our parents. Knowing that our parents or guardians will always be supportive and will never walk away from us should establish the first foundation of love in our hearts. For many, this expectation of love, care, and support is rooted in us from infancy, but as we grow, our expectations for and about love should change. As children, our parents were our lords—they were supposed to be our everything. But as Paul tells us in God’s Word, when we mature and develop into adults, it is necessary for us to let go of childish things.

We are not perfect, and neither are our parents. Sometimes the foundation that gets established in us doesn’t help us build faith, but in some areas work against our faith. We grow up holding on to and nurturing immaturity. Some generational stuff gets passed on, and we may have insecurities and fears that we’ve not confronted or owned. These immature tendencies block us from developing mature faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is crucial to handle this business of removing the blockers, and to do it before we’re in the most significant relationships of our lives. The person we’ll marry will be the individual we minister to most. They will be most impacted by our spiritual walk in Christ, and if we are not prepared to help them in the way that God has purposed, we’ve got a problem.

Discovering God’s love is transformative. He has shown us through Christ that love is about what we do and has very little to do with what we say. Our loving Lord and Savior paid the ultimate price for us. Because of his overwhelming love, he sacrificed his life as payment for our sins. He said in John 15:13(NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we accept the love of Christ in our hearts, we then must love as he loves, share as he shares, and give as he gives. This is the least we can do for all that he has done for us.

1 John 3:16(MSG) says, “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” We must understand that sacrifice is necessary in love; Jesus Christ has shown us this, and it is this sacrificial aspect of love that many people refuse to see. Meeting the person we will marry can’t be a desire born out of selfishness or self-agendas. If it is, the relationship won’t have a solid foundation. But when a relationship is built on the solid foundation of Christ, it will last. This means that, with our future spouses, we will come into the union with a measure of spiritual maturity that God has stamped “READY!”

Right now, we don’t yet know all the ways in which we’re missing the mark in the love of God in Christ, but God knows. He knows our every weakness, and He sees the problems and situations in our futures that we are not yet spiritually mature enough to handle. The psalmist prayed in Psalm 27:10-11(NLT), “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.” This must be our constant prayer. You have an enemy that seeks to keep you separated from our future spouse, but God will teach you how to love through Him and keep your union strong. He will show you how to love so that you fulfill the plan He has for you and your spouse. Be patient, and let the Spirit lead you along this right path. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Show Me How to Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 26, 2021
I Thought I heard from God

Genesis 1:27-28(MSG) tells us, “God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!” God is our Creator, and He has made us in His image. 1John 4:8 affirms that love is not just what God does, LOVE is who He is! Therefore, you and I can know resolutely that we were made from God’s love. And with His love, many things are woven into our beings. For instance, we know that one of the things God desires from all of us is an intimate relationship. So, it should come as no surprise that as children made in His likeness, a desire for relationships comes baked in our makeup. This desire is a product of God’s love. It shows us that love will always seek to expand and increase, and that our desire for partnership is very natural.

Because love is so important to us, sometimes we allow ourselves to be manipulated and mistreated in the pursuit of it. In Hosea 4:6, God tells us that His people are destroyed because of ignorance. This makes it clear that we can be severely harmed or taken out because of what we don’t know. It’s apparent why Heavenly Father tells us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing, and that we should make every effort to attain it, and to also get an understanding about how to apply this wisdom. Not prioritizing the attainment of wisdom over the pursuit of a relationship can be a very dangerous thing.

We must know that the enemy was once an angel of light, and he knows how to counterfeit light very well; it is something he uses to trick us so that we fall into one of his traps. The aim, of course, is to keep us blinded so that we focus our attention on the counterfeit and miss the true blessing that is meant for our lives. To get a visual of what this looks like, we don’t have to look too far. Most of us have heard these hurtful stories. We have seen it in our own families or have experienced it ourselves. We have a tremendous capacity to love, and with this comes the desire to cling to a relationship that is past it’s expiration date, and to keep on loving even when the other person no longer feels the same way.

A friend that did this said to me about the man she loves, “I know I heard God tell me he was the one.” In truth, she had already made an emotional investment in the man before she even thought about consulting the Lord. She had made up in her mind he was the one before seeking the wisdom to know for sure. After three years of dating, she’s devastated because she truly believed that the man she had been devoted to was in her words, “the man I’m meant to marry.” We must be careful not to betray our better judgment in this way. We must wait on God. If we ask for His guidance and wisdom, He is sure to give it.

Love is an area of life where we desperately need wisdom. God doesn’t make mistakes. His first priority is our spiritual growth in Christ. Therefore, partnership with God through the Lord Jesus Christ will always come first with Him. It would be out of His divine order to give us a treasure of another person, when we are not even handling ourselves righteously before Him. Jesus Christ warns us not to be so consumed with getting that we are not able to respond to God’s giving. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first, and all the other blessings will be added to our lives.

If we desire a wonderful relationship, but don’t have the proven spiritual strength, wisdom, and maturity to handle it right now, Heavenly Father doesn’t tell us ‘no’. He helps us develop well-formed love so that we are able to handle the thing we desire most. We don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to demonstrate that we will always and forever put God first, no matter who comes into our lives. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must wake up to this truth, otherwise, we’ll keep going down the wrong path and continue the cycle of making the wrong kinds of decisions. Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for us. He wants us to be wise, spiritually strong, and confident in His love, and when we are, we’ll be prepared for the treasures He’ll send our way. ■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“I Thought I heard from God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 19, 2021
Stop Mourning What Could Have Been

One of the things we do when we’re in a relationship is reshuffle our lives to make room for the new man. Most of us see this as a welcomed change, and we’re happy to do it, but when the relationship doesn’t go as expected, it can be very challenging. On top of the heartache we’re experiencing, we must do even more reshuffling. We have to acclimate ourselves to the reality of our disappointment while trying not to miss a beat with the other important things in our lives. Even though most of us will try to smooth over the gaps that were left vacant by the absence of this person, things can’t go back to the way they were. Try as we might to get back to that place, we just can’t. This can be very difficult for us to accept, especially when we’re facing the holidays.

For most of us, the holiday season comes with both its share of joys and stresses. There are increased demands on our time with family and work gatherings, and not only this, there’s the pressure of gift giving on our finances. Of course, the joys far exceed the angst. It’s a beautiful season that reminds us of warm coziness, closeness with those we love, and most importantly, remembering the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All of us want it to be a celebratory time that we share with that special someone, but not having this person in our lives shouldn’t be a game changer.

There are some truths that we as believers must accept, and one of them is that everything, every detail, from the smallest to the greatest, happens for a reason. Heavenly Father created us in such a way that we change, evolve, and grow through knowledge and experiences. He tells us in Ephesians 4:23(NIV), “to be made new in the attitude of your minds;” In Romans 12:2(NIV), He said, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This means that we ought to learn lessons of wisdom from our mistakes and change our thoughts and attitudes so that we’re better from our breakups and not worse. Our goal through every success and disappointment should be to excel in Christ, because as we learn more about him, we are transformed into the person God created us to be.

This doesn’t happen all at once. After we’re born-again through Christ, our spiritual journey in him begins. It’s never a backward regression. In the realm of God, there is only one trajectory, forward and upward. As we walk in the Holy Spirit and allow him to teach us about Jesus Christ, we’ll go higher and higher. It is awesomely important that we trust this truth, because it will help to build our faith. It will help us to be anchored in the truth that although things didn’t turn out the way we wanted, God’s plan for us is not deterred. He will cause all things to work together for our good.

Some of us are very tempted to let a breakup send us backwards, but our faith in God ought to be anchored in what He’s doing now and what He will do in the future. We want to go back to who we used to be, or we want the man back in our lives so things will be as they were. We should never want to go back because there’s too much to look forward to.

The children of Israel living in Old Testament times are an example of the wrong attitude and mindset. In Numbers 14:22-23(NIV), God said, “Not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times—not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.” God’s people were forbidden to see the Promised Land because they refused to believe that their latter days would be better than their former days. They wouldn’t trust that God would increase them as they pursued His Will and promises in faith. Instead, they cowered in fear and doubt, complained, and wandered around in the wilderness. We should never allow this to be said of us.

John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave us His only begotten Son. He gifted to all of us the most precious offering He could make. At God’s appointed time, something new and extraordinarily wonderful came into the world. This is the God we serve, and it is something to celebrate every day. We’re not the same person we were, and that’s nothing to be sad about. We learned how flexible and strong we are when we have to be. Don’t constantly make a memorial of your past at the expense of your future. With God, all things are possible, and when we make Him the focus, we can stop mourning what could have been and prepare to embrace the newness of what will be.■

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Stop Mourning What Could Have Been”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 6, 2021
Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Eloise was approaching a milestone birthday and was planning for it a month in advance. She was excited because this year, she had someone new in her life. Eloise had been single way longer than she wanted to be, and she had done what many singles do, and that’s put certain aspects of their lives on hold until marriage. She didn’t go to certain functions because she didn’t like not having someone by her side, and there were also vacation spots, like Hawaii, that she put on hold so she could share them with her future spouse. She even put off purchasing a home, because again, in her mind this is something you do with your husband. Wanting and waiting to share special memories with a spouse is beautiful, but living life to the fullest is something we should do whether we’re married or not.

As the days grew closer to her birthday, Eloise noticed that the man in her life hadn’t mentioned any plans. She hoped this was because he had been planning to surprise her. She looked for subtle hints in their conversations, but nothing surfaced, and she began to get nervous. Finally, a couple of days before her big day, he called during her lunch break at work. Before their conversation ended, she casually reminded him of her birthday and asked if they’d be doing anything together. In a very matter of fact manner, he replied, “It’s up to you. If you want to go out, we can.” Not quite the response she was looking for.

As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, the one aspect of our lives that you and I have to get right is the commitment and action of love. One day, an expert in Jewish law asked Jesus Christ which of the commandments is most important. In Mark 12:30-31(NLT), Jesus responded, “30 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ 31 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Not only is it important that we love in the way that Christ has commanded, but it is important that we love ourselves this way as well. When we love ourselves, there are certain things we simply won’t accept. This increases our faith and causes the same quality self-love to boomerang back to us.

Romans 5:8(NLT) tells us, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” This verse tells us of God’s unconditional, unlimited love. When we become born-again, and receive the Spirit of Christ, we then have God’s love deposited within. The more we learn about Heavenly Father, the more we are able to love like Christ. This is God’s goal for each of us. He wants us to love Him, to love others, and to love ourselves through the love of Jesus Christ.

So, God doesn’t just tell us to love Him and others, through Jesus Christ, He actually showed us how to get this done. He sent His only begotten Son to earth to show us the way. As women who love God, many of us have taken this and ran with it. We are committed to continue learning to love like Christ. We practice this in our relationships, because we love like we want to be loved. We’re thoughtful and considerate, and we go out of our way to make sure the special person in our lives feels appreciated. If we’re not getting this back, that should be a wake-up call.

You see, Heavenly Father knows that when we are confident in our understanding of the love of Christ, we are then better able to set boundaries and wisely define our expectations. We understand our worth to God, and therefore, we won’t accept treatment that isn’t in alignment with God’s love for us. This isn’t about ego. When you are confident in your own ability to love like Christ, you can then recognize and look for the exit sign when someone isn’t loving you that way in return.

Eloise shared with her boyfriend from the very beginning that her desire was to be married. He didn’t run from it, but he hadn’t done anything to lead her to believe he wanted marriage as well. When her birthday finally arrived, her boyfriend took her out for a nice dinner. After dinning, she told him how much she enjoyed their evening. She also said she hoped it was the start of their future together. His response was, “I hear what you’re saying, but you don’t have to constantly remind me!”

She was crushed by his words. She hadn’t nagged him, but sometimes the tension of desperation doesn’t need to be spoken in order to be felt. It was clear that he wouldn’t be as thrilled to share those special moments with her as she had always dreamed. So, the question she found herself facing was should she stay in the relationship and continue to hope, or does she cut all ties and move on with her life, committed to live it to the fullest.

It takes some of us a while to learn that seeking and pursuing God’s Will first is the best way to love ourselves and to live a fulfilling life. A caring and supportive spouse is one of God’s sweet rewards, but just because a man is interested, it doesn’t mean he’s the reward. We must continue to have faith and trust in Heavenly Father that the right one will come. God knows what is best, and at the end of the day, we should only want what He wants for us. It will be a person who mirrors His love and adds to the fullness we already have in Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do I Stay or Do I Go?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 4, 2021