Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • When Answers Don’t Come Easy

    When Answers Don’t Come Easy

    The psalmist said in Psalm 23:3 (NKJV), “He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” This is what God will do for us. He will restore our souls, and then lead us in the path of His righteousness. The question we need to ask ourselves is are we willing to be led. For those that have been praying to cross paths with the person they will marry, it is important for them to know that our Heavenly Father hears their prayers. He’s designed the universe in such a way that the moment we begin to pray, something shifts. Things begin to come together to bless us, and a momentum starts to build. Our faith is the force that continues to move this momentum forward, but there will most definitely be some blockers along the way. Immediately upon noticing them, we must look for something in our souls to be restored. We must make sure we’re hearing what God is saying, so we know exactly what needs to be healed and continue to follow the path of His righteousness.

    In Deuteronomy 1, Moses was handling some final business with the Children of Israel, because he knew he would not enter the Promise Land. In an address to them, he reviewed the journey they had been on together. It took the Children of Israel 38 years to cover a territory that should have taken them 11 days. Why? Because of their unbelief. God had promised to give them a land of milk and honey, a land that was beautiful, with good soil upon which to grow crops and increase livestock. Yet, they wouldn’t bring themselves to trust the Word of the Lord.

    Exodus 6:7-8 (NLT) gives us the record of what God told Moses to tell His people. He said, “7 I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. 8 I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”  In verse 9, we have the record of the people’s response to what God said. It tells us, “So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery.” They doubted God’s promise. Even though they were physically free, the harsh labor under the Egyptian pharaoh had put them in mental and emotional bondage. So, they wouldn’t listen to Moses and went around in circles because doubt took root in their hearts.

    God’s people were slow to learn, and this is why instead of marching to victory they wandered in the wilderness almost 40 years. This wandering can happen so easily in our quest to attain what God has for us. Many of us are wandering, not understanding that it is impossible to follow the straight line of God’s righteousness when doubt is in the picture.

    Healthy communication is crucial to any successful relationship. Not only must we speak the truth, we must be in a position to hear it. Our relationship with God is the most precious gift we will ever have. We need to hear what the Father is saying to us, because we need His instruction to carry out His Will. We also need to hear from Him about those places in our souls where we’re not allowing His love to rule. Very often, not hearing or perceiving God’s message is a blocker that slows our faith momentum. The Spirit of the Lord resides inside of the believer. Nothing can be closer to us than this, and if we’re not hearing the Spirit’s voice, with it being so close, how will we be good listeners to our future partners?

    We must be persistent in pursuing a Word from the Lord. God is always present, and He hears our prayers. Some believers have complained that God is not speaking to them, but He never stops communicating with us. It’s you and I that have a hard time hearing His voice, because we’re so focused on other things. Jesus Christ told us in Matthew 6:33 that we must seek our Heavenly Father first, and this must be a continuous habit pattern in our lives. We are spiritual beings and the more we quiet ourselves and get still before God, the more our spiritual hearing will increase. When it comes to the revelation that we desperately need to hear, it isn’t enough to receive a word from someone else’s lips. We need to be confident that God will speak to us, and we need to be confident that we can hear Him. This is paramount to navigating a successful life as a believer, and it is one of the most important and precious essentials to spiritually preparing for the blessing of marriage.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When Answers Don’t Come Easy” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Examining Your Motivation to Partner

    Examining Your Motivation to Partner

    A friend and I were having dinner and noticed a young couple holding hands at the table near ours. They couldn’t have been more than about 25 or so, but they looked so happy together. The way the young man treated the woman caught my attention. When they were escorted to their table, he pulled a chair out for her, and when she got up to go to the ladies’ room, he stood up. This kind of chivalry is almost unheard of today. Many in the younger generation have never witnessed it or know it exists beyond the movies. For many sisters, such gestures aren’t important or relevant, but I was thrilled to see that some men, even young ones, have not lost this sense of honor in their hearts for women. Personally, a man doesn’t have to order my food or always stand up at the table when I do, however, honoring the love of Christ that I carry in my heart is an absolute must.

    2 Corinthians 5:14(NLT) tells us, “Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.” As single sisters and brothers desiring marriage, this is a verse of scripture that must be at the forefront of our hearts and minds. One of the reasons for this has to do with our motivation for marital partnership. Once we arrive at a place where our desire for marriage is unveiled, our journey towards crossing paths with our destiny partners begins. Many people begin this journey before they’ve cultivated an intimate relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. They may be motivated to marry out of soulish or flesh reasons, but this motivation will harm and not help their quest.

    Getting to know the Lord is the most rewarding and fulfilling event in life. Nothing else in all eternity compares to the magnitude of this monumental relationship that we get to have with our Heavenly Father. We are transformed by it. Our old life is dead, and our new life begins because of Christ and what he has done for us. It is the recreation of our human-spirit through Christ that allows our connection to God. Everything that is outside the boundaries of our new spiritual reality has to catch-up to the newness we’ve received through our precious Lord and Savior. Our minds—thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors—have to be renewed to the mind of Christ. Renewal, changing the way we think, speak, think, and feel is the way we catch-up.

    God will not do this for us, because He will never violate our free-will choice. He won’t come inside our brains and start changing things around. He has commanded us to renew our minds to what He says. The problem is that when it comes to our motivation and desire for marriage, we stop short and throw the process of renewing our minds under the bus. We don’t do what is required to bring our desire in alignment with the new life we’ve received.

    Although we are transformed by Christ, our desire for marriage in many cases does not transform with us. It is probably the same, or perhaps has increased. But because we are never the same after our new-birth reality, the motivation for marriage must shift from pleasing ourselves to pleasing God. This is true beyond truth. God changes us from the inside out. Romans 8:39 says that nothing is capable of separating us from the love of God in Christ, because it is in Him that we live, move, and have our being. So, our desire for marriage must rise to the level of our newness in Christ. This means that we must now want what the Lord wants for us, because our lives don’t belong to us. He is Lord! He’s our Owner and always knows and does what is best. But if we have a different personal agenda operating in the background; if we’re still operating in the flesh when it comes to our desire for marriage, Romans 8:6 says this is equivalent to setting our minds on death. We wonder so often about what is blocking us from the blessing; this is it!

    The potential to honor God’s purpose unlocks partnership attraction. This is where we want to be! The young couple that sat near me in the restaurant responded to each other lovingly and with honor for one another. I know this because I responded to it as well. This is how Heavenly Father created us. When the love of Christ is at work, we can’t help ourselves, we must respond to it. This is why we can’t allow our old dead life to speak from the grave. It can only speak death, and we don’t want anyone we might partner with responding to that. We should all want someone who honors the love of Christ in us, and it behooves us to be sure that it is his love, and his alone, that motivates and fuels our desire to partner.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Examining Your Motivation to Partner”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Why Not Choose Me?

    Why Not Choose Me?

    It is becoming increasingly popular for women to propose to men. While commercials depicting this scenario received a thumbs-up from women’s rights organization for championing women’s options, as believers many of us are not on board. God’s people must be committed to trust and believe His Word. His Word is true, and it is also the preeminent authority on everything that pertains to life. So, we have to trust the wisdom of Proverbs 18:22, that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. It is the man who is supposed to do the finding, not because the woman is deficient in any way, but because this is how a man obtains the Lord’s favor. But what if you’ve been found already? What if you believe he is the one, but asking for your hand in marriage just isn’t his thing?

    Someone shared with me that she’s in a very similar situation. She was dating a man she believed to be the right one for her. He always said that if he was ever going to marry someone, she would be that woman, except a couple of years went by, and he never proposed. As a way to motivate his proposal, she ended the relationship, but he didn’t take the bait. She felt enough time had gone by and a few weeks ago, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Since neither of them have ever been married, and in her words, they’re not getting any younger, she went ahead and ‘put herself out there.’ She said she couldn’t imagine God would have her continue to wait year after year, so in her mind and heart, putting herself out there for the man that she loves was the right thing to do.

    He didn’t meet her with any opposition, and after speaking with him, she felt relieved, but he also didn’t give her the direct answer she was hoping for. She wanted a promise from him in the form of a wedding date, and he didn’t oblige. Like many single Christian women, she has lots to offer; attractive, successful, and dependable. She believed that after laying all her emotions and good intentions out on the table, he would respond with a resounding ‘yes’, and at the very least she was hoping for perhaps a mildly reluctant “Okay”, but this didn’t happen. He didn’t choose her, and she is left to deal with the reality that he possibly never will.

    The confidence of choosing well
    There is nothing in all the world that compares to knowing something so positively completely that there’s no doubt in your mind. Only God can give us this level of confidence. It’s the confidence of knowing we’ve chosen well. This is why trusting Proverbs 18:22 is so important, because when God ordains something, we can have utter and complete confidence in it. Everything about relationships doesn’t have to be conventional. God created us uniquely, but we must be clear that He’s a God of supreme order, and if Christ is going to be the head of our marriages and relationships, we must be led by the Lord.

    I think back to a passage of scripture in Acts 1:15-26. Joseph (also known as Justus) and called Barsabbas, was not chosen by God when it came time to replace Judas. Judas had betrayed our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and met a tragic end. So, the disciples of Jesus prayed to God to lead them in making the right decision. In Acts 1:24(NLT), they prayed, “O Lord, you know every heart.  Show us which of these men you have chosen as an apostle to replace Judas in this ministry.”  They cast their lots (votes), and God chose Matthias to become an apostle with the other eleven.

    Joseph wasn’t chosen by God, and that must have been disappointing for him, but this allows us to see very clearly that our choices have implications. Even if disappointment is involved, it’s better to deal with hurt feelings in the short term than to turn our backs on God’s Will. Choices impact our lives dramatically. God knows this, and if we haven’t made Him the major participant in our choices and decisions, we stand to walk away from the destiny He’s ordained for us.

    As a woman who honors herself and desires to be honored by the man she will ultimately marry, she shouldn’t except less than what the Father wants to give her. The disciples had a very important choice to make, and they didn’t leave it to chance, but depended on God for His divine leadership and guidance. We must be spiritually mature enough to do the same thing.

    As born-again believers, we can receive information from Christ through God’s Holy Spirit. He will aid our decision making and help us walk according to God’s order. If we’re not yet able to discern the Spirit’s voice, we must continue to pray and be patient with ourselves to grow in Christ. Then, when we’re confident in the Spirit, we can be confident in our choices. You won’t have to ask “Why not choose me?” You’ll know that you’re with a man who enjoys God’s favor and he will consider you his greatest reward.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Why Not Choose Me?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage

    Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage

    If you’ve ever read an in-depth article or watched a good video about replacing a leaky faucet or repairing an outdated piece of equipment, you know they give a ton of information. Many of them provide step-by-step instructions and a list of necessary tools to get the job done successfully. Well, when it comes to making improvements to our dating lives, it’s almost the same concept, except the repairs must begin with our thoughts. The dating arena can be challenging to navigate, and some of us have shifted to a very pessimistic mindset. If this describes your current line of thinking, it may be because you’ve met people that seem nice in the beginning, but don’t turn out to be who you thought they were—far from it. It can get a little old and bring us down. This is when we need to go to God’s Word for some necessary repairs. In His Word, God provides step-by-step instructions and a list of necessary tools. They will refuel our hopes, rekindle our excitement about the future, and get us back on track to fulfilling our dreams.

    God provides His Word as our information headquarters for right living. He’s given us the example of Jesus Christ to follow, and the gift of His Holy Spirit as our teacher and guide. Believers can sometimes allow their minds to be dismissive when it comes to familiar scriptures and wisdom. We don’t mediate and study daily as we should, and when this happens, the nourishment meant for our hearts and minds slips away from us. Old thought patterns settle in, and things like believing that men can’t be trusted or that all men are cheaters become blockers to our blessing. To remove outdated thoughts that block our faith and keep us from the blessing we seek, here are a few steps to shift gears to a mindset that pleases Heavenly Father:

    Step 1:  Take God at His Word.
    In Proverbs 18:22(NKJV), God tells us, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.” We serve a God that is exact and precise. His Word is timeless and will forever stand as our foundation for right living, abundance, and truth. He considered the challenges of dating in modern times when He expressed this wisdom in Proverbs 18:22 thousands of years ago; for He knows the end at the very beginning. It is monumentally important that the Christian woman takes God at His Word, and that she is confident that He is not slack in any way concerning it. He has made sure there are men in every generation who #1 honor the Godly qualities of a wife, and #2 desire favor from the Lord. So if there’s anything in our minds and hearts that prevents right thinking on God’s provision in this area, we must change it.

    Step 2: Keep the Word in your mind.
    Hebrews 2:1(NLT) says, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” Remember, it’s our responsibility to keep God’s Word active in our hearts and minds. The Word of instruction in Joshua 1:8(NLT) still applies to believers today. This verse tells us, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” God wants us to succeed. He wants us to be married and partnered up more than we desire it for ourselves. Keeping His Word is paramount to our success.

    It is very easy to make poor choices and bad decisions in the area of dating. We get burned this way and lose precious time and resources on this journey. We desperately need to keep the wisdom of God’s Word in our minds, so that we remain on destiny’s path. Then, we can do as 2Corinthians 10:5 instructs and cast down vain imaginations and arguments from others, and we should even cast down those unruly thoughts that exist in our own heads. These are thoughts that place themselves higher than the knowledge of God, and we can never afford to let them dwell in our minds. That’s why doubt is so dangerous to our believing, because doubt tells a lie about the goodness of God. Instead of letting doubt rule our thoughts, Jesus Christ commands us to to capture those doubtful thoughts. We should examine them from all angles, and if they don’t line up with the mind of Christ, we need to squash them immediately. We must disconnect from the thoughts that support wrong beliefs. We can’t let them get into our hearts or cancel our commitment to keep God’s Word active in our minds.

    Step 3: Survive the test.
    It is critical that we understand the increase that marriage yields. It expands our territory exponentially, and to whom much is given, much is required. So many single believers complain about the wait. They don’t understand that God is building capacity within them. Marriage in modern times requires a strong spiritual foundation where the Lordship of Jesus Christ is firmly and unquestionably in place. It cannot be lost on us that the enemy doesn’t want our foundations to be strong in Christ and uses all manner of distractions to keep us from growing in the areas that we need to.

    Whenever you seek to go higher in Christ, you will always face challenges to keep you down. I encourage you to cease from complaining about the wait, for God is able to make up for any lost time. Survive and surpass the test the enemy is waging against your faith. Open your eyes and be attentive to the confessions you make, the conversations you have, the thoughts you think, and the attitudes that permeate your days. Bring everything under the submission and guidance of the Holy Spirit, as you stay in God’s Word. Know that when you take your obedience and stand to the next level and remove the blockers from your life, you’ll witness a repositioning that brings you in line with the blessing of marriage.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Growing up, the youngins in my family were chastised for listening to grown folk’s business, but if they hadn’t been gossiping, there would have been nothing to hear. The many relationships gone wrong was the talk of our small town. I remember hearing such-and-such and so-and-so were getting divorced because the wife found out that her husband was cheating with another woman in the neighborhood. This kind of thing wasn’t uncommon, and news of it spread like wild fire. But the gossip wasn’t the worse part. Often, seasoned matriarchs, even those in the faith, would say things like, “She’d better stay with that man. Even if he’s cheating, she’ll regret leaving if she ends up alone. She’d better stay put; she’ll get over it!”

    This kind of thinking was cultivated from a lack of knowledge of God’s Word. Romans 10:17(NLT) tells us, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” It isn’t enough for the Word to simply fall upon our ears. We must digest it in a way that it gets mixed with understanding and believing. We must understand the greatness of God’s Word as we also believe it with our whole hearts. Witnessing some of the advice that was doled out as wisdom in yester-years, as well as today, we can see so clearly how crucial it is for us to hear and understand God’s truth.

    Even today, for many women it is common to accept an abusive man out of a fear of loneliness or fear of not having material or financial provision. Much of this thinking has been breed into us from a culture where faith is not accurately and frequently taught. It’s not just the insidiousness of cultural teaching about abusive behavior, there are many other attitudes we’ve accepted about men and relationships that undermine our confidence and self-worth.

    When we’re praying to cross paths with our future partners or praying for the relationship we’re currently in, these kinds of attitudes and entrenched thinking are often brought to the forefront, where we can examine them. Something will transpire to call our attention to certain things, and the worst course of action we can take is to ignore whats in front of our faces. The baggage of fear is a heavy load, and if we’re carrying it, we need to address it from the root, so that we don’t bring fear and wrong believing into a new relationship. Jesus Christ is Lord in every way, and we must honor him in all area of our lives, especially when it comes to our relationships. Many of us put up the “Stay away” sign, but this is a huge mistake. We desperately need his help. We must remember that the goal is to allow Jesus Christ the room to move in our significant relationship, because he’s the glue that holds them together.

    I remember hearing from a mature Christian woman that we teach men how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Treating ourselves good means that we love ourselves with the love of Christ! Honor, respect, and obedience are just a few Godly characteristics that a woman should live by in order to get her mind and heart in the right place.

    Galatians 5:1 (MSG) says, “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” When we hear the word ‘slavery’, we think of bondage and imprisonment. This is a very real and true perspective of what it means to live in darkness and fear. Participating in a relationship without knowing or upholding the standards of Christ is the equivalent of living behind bars. There’s no freedom in a lie, only God’s truth can bring light, love and liberty to every situation.

    You see, when we don’t press into God for direction and discernment, we might look for love in all the wrong places. Then, we attract men who help us remain comfortable in our insecurities and fear. That’s not what Heavenly Father wants for His beautiful daughters. Ephesians 5:25 says God wants us to be loved by a man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church and gave his life for her. Let’s not remain behind the blinders but remove them to see that just as we are capable and willing to love a man with a heart of Christ, we must not accept less than this from him.■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?

    Just when you think you’ve gotten a clear understanding of what it means to walk by faith, something happens in your life to make you feel you’re almost back at square one. This is exactly what happened to me the day after having the most impactful prayer session I’ve ever had. Whammm! There it was, a formidable obstacle I didn’t see coming. I said to myself, “This is just another trick of the devil!” In fact, it was more than this. It was a mirror presented by my own thoughts and feelings of fear, those that were lurking just beneath the surface. Up to this point, I was operating in the faith I knew, and God has never failed me, but I had to face the reality that I had not been pushed to go beyond a certain level of discomfort. I had to deal with the answer to the question, “Do I truly trust and believe that no matter what, God has my back?”

    I noticed a pattern. Different variations of the same negative situations kept popping up, and with each instance, the circumstances became more severe. Sometimes, we become easily offended when we’re hit with tribulations. We begin to think that God has left us alone. Wrestling with trusting Him can be one of the darkest places a Christian can tread. It leaves a lot of room for doubt and ambivalence.

    Most of us have heard quite a lot of teaching on the subject of doubt. We’ve been schooled on the danger of letting it into our minds, and this can add even another layer of complication. Hebrews 11:6 tells us it is impossible to please God without faith, and some of us might think that if we have doubt in the slightest way, God will not come to our rescue. This isn’t true, of course. God will always come to our aid, but He will also teach us in ways that help us grow in faith.

    There will always be disappointments in life. There will be tribulations. In John 16:33, Jesus Christ told the disciples that in the world they will have many trials and sorrows, but they must be encouraged greatly in their hearts because He, our precious Lord and Savior, has overcome the world. He has won the victory for us. Heavenly Father wants us to realize that we have an enemy, and he, the devil, works through worldly systems. Romans 8 lists some of the persecutions that believers endure; tribulations, distress, being talked about and lied on, the perils of lack and loneliness, and danger coming very close to our lives; it can seem as if we’re just sheep waiting to be devoured. Then, Romans 8:37 tells us that none of these things will separate us from the love of Christ. It says, “despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

    It may not feel like it from where we stand this moment, but we have the victory over any circumstance facing us. Jesus Christ has already won it. Through fear, the enemy tries to keep us from seeing what Christ has done for us; he tries to convince us that God will not come to our rescue. Fear belongs to the devil; it’s his domain. Continually stirring the pot of our anxieties and working through others to prick us, the enemy uses our fear to get us quaking in our boots. We need to know with great confidence that God will help us be released from this fear. He will do it for us if we ask Him, in the powerful name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ left the throne of God to come to earth to save us. He became a flesh and blood person and shared in all the things that we deal with as humans. He did this because God, our Heavenly Father, gave him this mission. The heart of Christ was to do the Will of the Father because he loves Him and he loves us. Hebrews 2:14-15(NLT) says, “Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Jesus Christ has won every victory for us. He showed us how to trust and love God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. Through his sacrifice and resurrection, we are released from anything that tries to hold us back or keep us locked down.

    He’s given us the victory! If you’re struggling to see the victory of Christ in some area of your life, don’t let your doubt place you in more self-condemnation. Don’t let fear and doubt put a wedge in your relationship with God. Ask Him to help your faith and talk with Him honestly about it. The Holy Spirit dwells within, and He will guide, teach, and comfort you. Take comfort in the reality that you will witness God’s grace and His awesome love and care, and this is yours for the asking even if your faith isn’t quite where it needs to be.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Punishing Ourselves for the Past

    The other day, I ran into a woman that I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. I didn’t see her at first, but she recognized me and immediately made her way to where I was standing. It was so good to see her. We hugged each other and the first words out of her mouth were “How do you stay looking so young?” As many of you can attest, running after little ones will keep you on your toes, but nothing keeps you feeling and looking youthful like the grace of God on your life. When you have a heart for God, and you choose to dedicate your life to pleasing Him, He will keep you if you want to be kept. Living according to His Will has restorative power and helps us age gracefully. I’m not saying that we don’t grow older in our appearance, but His ageless grace is apparent on our faces when pleasing Him is our priority.

    All of us have made mistakes and haven’t always done the things we know are right. Some individuals are carrying around the guilt of those things, and this keeps them from walking more fully in God’s extraordinary grace. Sometimes this guilt comes from things we’ve done, and sometimes it comes from things that have been done against us. In some ways, we may be punishing ourselves by continually feeling sad and hurt because our hearts were broken by someone we truly loved. There are other ways that guilt punishes us as well. Sometimes its through the fear that is still operating in our souls because someone violated us when we were powerless to defend ourselves. These are wounds that the enemy would like to keep open, so that he can continue to trap us in fear, sadness, shame, and self-condemnation.

    Many of us allow mistakes and pain from the past to affect us in the present. We do this by spending a lot of time thinking about the situations and focusing on the harm they caused. This shows us that we’re still hanging on to these emotions and thoughts. God wants us to wear the sweet perfume of His grace and this requires us to stop punishing ourselves by rehashing and reliving the past. We’re giving negativity space and weight in our lives, and Heavenly Father wants to help us release it.

    In Luke 7:36-39 (NLT), Jesus Christ demonstrates the liberty and grace he extends through the record of a woman who had made some serious mistakes. In this passage, one of the Pharisees, a group known to deplore him, invited Jesus to have dinner with him. Jesus accepted the invitation and as they were eating, a certain immoral woman from the city heard he would be eating there and brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. This woman had a bad reputation in town because of her deeds of the past. Understanding the times in which this takes place is crucial, because it wasn’t easy even for a woman with a good reputation, so you can imagine what it was like for a woman with a soiled one.

    Some believe she was a prostitute, a label given to many women that were forced to make a living on their own because they didn’t have a husband. She might have come from a poor family with no pedigree and fallen in love with someone who promised to be her rescuer, but only used her for his pleasure. Heartbroken, but naïve’, perhaps she fell into this trap repeatedly. Men in the town began to talk, and because no man would marry her, she was labeled immoral. She was ostracized from good society, and no doubt felt life was a vicious cycle of which she had no power and no redemption.

    She had heard reports of Jesus’ ministry and teaching, and an urgency to see him ignited her heart. When learning he would have dinner at Simon, the Pharisee’s house, she made it her business to see Jesus, and she did not come empty handed, but came ready to submit herself in the most humble way she knew. She brought an alabaster box filled with perfume, intent to perform a service that was typically relegated to the lowest servant in the house. Luke 7:38(NLT) tells us, “Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.”

    Again, we need to know a little bit more about the times to see the heart of what this woman did. Hospitality was greatly treasured back then. It was extremely important to the culture. It was customary to do things like have a servant standing by to attend the guest by presenting a basin of water and towel so they could wipe their feet. They wore sandals and their feet were always dusty, so this washing of the feet was a common courtesy. It was also customary to greet valued guests with a kiss on each cheek and to anoint their head with oil. Simon had been a poor host to say the least. He had performed none of these hospitable protocols for Jesus, the Son of the Living God.

    When at a dinner table back then, it was common for the feet to be postured off to the side, behind the body in a sitting position on the floor. It is possible that this is how Jesus was sitting when the woman came behind him to wash his feet. Simon was incredulous that Jesus had allowed this woman to touch him. She dared not kiss his head, knowing how she was viewed, but kissed his feet and anointed them with perfume. Jesus rebuked Simon for his neglect of common courtesies and in Luke 7:47-48 (NLT) said, “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love. Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.””

    In Luke 7:50, Jesus told the woman that her faith had saved her, and to go in peace. This is the grace that he offers to all of us. We must stop punishing ourselves by rehashing old memories of hurtful situations in the past. By doing this, we are trying to keep dead things alive. Jesus took it all to the cross and we need to leave it there so we can walk in the liberty he freely offers.

    Take a piece of paper and write down all the negative things that have happened to you in the past that are still affecting you today. Be as honest and thorough as you can. Spill your heart openly to God on paper. Remember that the more you deliver over to Jesus—the more you ask and accept his forgiveness and restoration, the more love you’ll show him. Then, when you’ve written it all down, pray over it. Tell the Lord that you’re giving everything on that paper to Him, and that through his blood—the blood of Jesus Christ, you are released from them now! Tear the paper into the smallest bits possible and dispose of them in whatever way that causes you to have a new memory—one of being released from everything that has held you back or robbed you of joy. Go in peace. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Punishing Ourselves for the Past”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Igniting A Spark in His Heart

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This is a great verse for anyone questioning whether God is in their corner when it comes to their quest to be married. Every time I read this verse, I’m reminded of a good friend. He said to me, “I’m no good at living alone or being by myself!” He made this statement a few years before he married his wife. He had a few relationships earlier on, but he struggled to find a balance between being a single father, prioritizing the needs of a significant other, and handling the pressure of being a successful professional. When his son went off to college, the need for someone with good maternal instincts slipped off the list, and he just wanted a companion to spend the rest of his life with. He’s an attractive person, and I found it particularly surprising how challenging he thought it was for him to find a compatible mate.

    A few years passed before he met someone that he was interested in dating long-term. He complained that many of the women he found attractive didn’t seem to have solid values or substance. They were ok with just casually dating and anything else that might come along with it. He’s a man with Christian values and wanted the woman he’d marry to not only appreciate this, but to be equally as committed to them as he was. You would think this wouldn’t be too challenging to find, and for him, it was.

    I believe the Lord allows us to hear and see certain things for a reason, and my friend’s situation opened my eyes wider to a few tweaks I needed to make. Sometimes, God lets us see and hear about situations so we will glean a bit of wisdom and take proactive measures to change or alter something in our own lives. Through James the Apostle, God tells us in James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Most single believers understand that wisdom is the principal thing and is necessary for a successful marriage, but they want to wait until they’re married to learn those foundational lessons. We need to be well-seasoned. This means the seeds that are planted now will blossom and be a part of us before we’re married. Then we will be able to nurture and support our spouses with compassion and understanding through tough times.

    My friend had attended plenty of functions where several Christian women were present, but he was waiting for a spark that connected with him. As I thought about his predicament, I began to understand that if our lights are hidden or we’re not in the habit of keeping them well lit, we may not be able to ignite a spark or recognize the need for it in someone else.

    We must ask ourselves if we have become so accustomed to our own habit patterns and thoughts about how we’ll function in marriage, that we don’t have room for God’s Will and Purpose. If our desire is to be mostly occupied with having our own needs met, we will be closed off from the one who seeks to fill a void. God tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Finding a wife is admirable in the Father’s eyes. He instructs the man to do the finding, and He tells the woman how to guard her heart so she will be found. Both are equally important, but distinct, because this is the way God wanted it. We will be frustrated and disappointed in this area if we don’t honor God’s order; for He always knows best.

    Some single women that are successful in their careers may argue they don’t need a man to achieve success, and when they’re ready, they’ll begin to look for a spouse. Success in a career does not equate to a successful marriage. Jesus Christ reminds us in John 15:5 that he must be in the driver’s seat of our lives, and especially in our relationships. We don’t want to let the enemy in through pride. Marriage is God’s institution, and His way tells us that a mindset of unity, striving together, and appreciating each other’s uniqueness is required for a successful union. Having two people face challenges together extends a feeling of confidence and security about overcoming any obstacle.

    If we ask Him, through the Holy Spirit that indwells us, Heavenly Father will help us develop the qualities that will magnetize us to the presentation He will make. We need His spark through the Lord Jesus Christ, and if we are diligent to His Word we’ll have it. Some of us have never asked God to do this work within us, or to do it within the heart and mind of the man He will present to us. Now is the perfect time to add this very important request to your prayer life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Igniting A Spark In His Heart” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Breaking the Chains of Loneliness

    In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A person that has never experienced the bondage of things like addiction, debt, lack, loneliness, or imprisonment of any kind, may not appreciate the significance of the words of Christ in this verse. They may not be able to imagine the joy of being set free from those things. But for anyone that has ever been held captive by a condition, circumstance, or situation of any kind, the words of Christ in this verse bring forth God’s enormous love, grace, and power. Jesus has promised that once we know and trust God’s truth, it will literally transfer us out of what we’re in and release us into the glorious state of liberty! All of us should desperately want this, because when it comes to years of loneliness and being without the love we desire, we need to be set free.

    Words like independence, self-government, rights and privileges come to mind when we think about the word ‘freedom.’ It is a state of not being enslaved or imprisoned by anything oppressive. This is liberty! It is such an important word for the Christian. Before Christ came into our lives, we were enslaved by the bondage of darkness. We were held captive by the evil one who enslaves through ignorance and evil. In 2Timothy 2:25-26, through the Apostle Paul, God tells us to gently instruct people that oppose the truth of His Word. We’re instructed to pray that they will come to their senses and accept God’s truth, so they can escape the devil’s trap. God tells us that they are being held captive by the devil so they can do whatever the devil wants. This is the state we were in before we accepted Christ.

    Colossians 1:13(NLT) informs us of what God did for us when we invited Jesus Christ into our hearts. It says, “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son.” We were in darkness, doomed to an eternal hell without Christ. You and I don’t have the capacity to visualize how truly tragic and horrifying a life in hell is, but we absolutely can visualize what it means to be free from hell’s grip, because we are living the reality of this liberty every day. As believers, if we haven’t come into an understanding about where we were before we accepted the Lord Jesus Christ, we won’t truly appreciate the liberty he has made available to us now. And if we don’t appreciate the liberty that Christ has given us, we won’t walk in it. You cannot fully embrace, walk, and live in something you’re not thankful to receive.

    Loneliness is defined as a sadness experienced by a person that doesn’t have friends, or who feels isolated because of feeling unloved and undervalued. It cannot be lost on us that loneliness is a form of bondage. In Luke 4:18(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.” This is what Jesus Christ came to do. He came to give us access to a more than abundant life, and to break chains of oppression and bondage of every kind, so that we can walk in his liberty and be free!

    The way to receive what Jesus Christ has made available is to know the truth. Truth is medicine that is administered to the head and heart. This tells us that bondage is more than external circumstances. Bondage begins internally, in the mind and heart, and this is where the condition of loneliness must be first addressed. To do so, we must admit to ourselves how much (or how less) we have truly accepted the finished work of Christ in our hearts. We must examine if anything, including loneliness, has hindered our demonstration of gratitude to God for rescuing us from darkness and giving us liberty in Christ.

    Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. Will you trust God and trust in His power and in His way? God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider the liberty He’s given us, as well as all the other blessings we have received through Christ! Do you believe in the depth of your heart and soul that God will bless you to cross the path of your future spouse? God has set you free from hell through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He’s saved you from damnation for all eternity. You will never see satan’s dwelling place or go through the everlasting torture the devil wants to inflict on you. Because of what God has done through Christ, you will never be separated from His love.

    Heavenly Father did all of this for us when we were at our worse. Consider the wealth of all that God has already done to demonstrate His love. John 3:16(NLT) tells us “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” God spared not His only Son so that all of us that are born-again could be His sons and daughters. Do you think a Great Big Wonderful God like this would deny you a loving spouse? It would grieve His heart for us to think that. He loves us so much, and we must realize this.

    Faith demands that you be deeply thankful, from the bottom of your heart, for what God has already done for you through Christ. He has delivered you from darkness. He’s broken the chains of loneliness for every person who believes in the finished work of Christ. Invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within your heart. Ask the Lord to help increase your faith so that you walk in God’s Will and in the liberty of knowing the truth! Your future spouse is going to greatly bless your life, and he deserves to meet you loosed and free.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Breaking the Chains of Loneliness” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!

    Witnessing a miracle thousands of years ago when our blessed Savior walked the earth was just as extraordinary as it is to witness a miracle today. However, one could argue that the needs of many people were much greater back then. During the time of his ministry, people were amazed and excited by the wondrous acts of love that Jesus was able to do. News spread quickly about his power and compassion. John 6:1 tells us that large crowds began to gather and follow him because they saw him miraculously heal the sick. During this time, they didn’t have hospitals or conveniently located doctors’ offices and medical treatment centers. Without a local community person that was well-versed in homeopathic herbs, many people suffered through diseases and illnesses in agony. The severity of their situations compelled them to zoom in on Jesus with razor-sharp attention. They were looking for a miracle, and he didn’t disappoint them. He won’t disappoint us either.

    John 6 tells us a great multitude followed him after Jesus left Jerusalem and was back in the area of Galilee. As soon as we hear the name ‘Jesus’ in the same sentence as the word ‘multitude’, our thoughts are immediately braced for the epic love transaction that is about to take place. We know certainly that our Lord and Savior was all too capable of doing the miraculous, and that the great need of others would be met by his willingness to perform according to the Father’s Will.

    People of all backgrounds, ages, and conditions were attracted to his great power, and he knew they would be. He wanted them to come to him because he possessed the healing, restoration, and love they desperately needed. We should all aspire to be spiritually strong in Christ, so that others can see the strength of our faith and glorify God. Our faith in God has drawing power, and if we remain close to Him, it will pull people and resources that will both bless us and allow us to be a blessing.

    As was his custom, you and I can guess with a great deal of probability that Jesus Christ had already received revelation about what was going to occur in John 6. In John 5:19(NLT), the preceding chapter, Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” No doubt Jesus spent quality time in prayer with Heavenly Father in the wee hours of the morning, and God had already revealed to him what was going to transpire and how he should handle the situation.

    It was around the time of Passover, and John 6:5(NLT) tells us that while sitting on a hill with his disciples, they saw the huge crowd coming towards Jesus. He turned to Philip and asked a question, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Jesus was not looking to Philip for a resolution, because he knew Philip had doubt in his heart. In John 6:7(NLT), Philip responded, “Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!” There were about five thousand men, and this count did not include the women and children that were there as well. Philip saw this situation as outside the limits of what they could handle. The revelation of the enormous power and authority of Jesus Christ slipped by him, and it really shows us how careful we must all be not to let this happen.

    The miracle that Jesus performed in John 6 would not be the first of which Philip would see. As a disciple, he had been with Jesus and had seen him do many marvelous works, yet, the crowd, the bigness of the situation, caused Philip to go to a place he had been many times before. It caused him to shrink back to doubt, because like many of us, doubt for him was comfortable. Understand that God is able and willing to go beyond anything you can ask or think, and the only thing that is required from us is to trust and believe in His ability and willingness.

    In John 6:9, Andrew spoke up and said, “Hey, there’s a boy over there, and he has five loaves of bread and two fish, but we can’t feed all these people with this little bit of food.” It cannot be lost on us that this boy with seemingly too little food to feed a multitude of thousands was strategically positioned for the purpose of God. Not only did he have the right amount of food, but he was in the right place at the right time. He had just enough for the miracle that was about to take place. This allows us to see that although we may not be the most talented; we might be the most attractive or intelligent. In fact, we may think we’re not enough or that we don’t have the qualifications to do all the things we desire to do, but God can take the little bit we have and make it great! We are exactly what we should be for Him to work a miracle.

    Jesus Christ fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish. He blew everyone’s mind by showing us the magnitude of God’s love and power. Heavenly Father is willing to do so much in our situations. He wants to show Himself strong on our behalves, but many of us will not give Him the little bit we have so He can make it great. Instead, we make excuses. We allow our minds and hearts to remain on the lower plain of doubt and insecurity, and because of this, we cannot see the hand of God reaching down to lift us up. Change this! Spend time in prayer and ask Heavenly Father to reveal His Will for your life. Ask Him to lead and guide you, and don’t hold back anything from God. Be always willing to present the little you have to Him in faith, and always expect that He will multiply it and make it great!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!