Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Growing up, the youngins in my family were chastised for listening to grown folk’s business, but if they hadn’t been gossiping, there would have been nothing to hear. The many relationships gone wrong was the talk of our small town. I remember hearing such-and-such and so-and-so were getting divorced because the wife found out that her husband was cheating with another woman in the neighborhood. This kind of thing wasn’t uncommon, and news of it spread like wild fire. But the gossip wasn’t the worse part. Often, seasoned matriarchs, even those in the faith, would say things like, “She’d better stay with that man. Even if he’s cheating, she’ll regret leaving if she ends up alone. She’d better stay put; she’ll get over it!”

    This kind of thinking was cultivated from a lack of knowledge of God’s Word. Romans 10:17(NLT) tells us, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” It isn’t enough for the Word to simply fall upon our ears. We must digest it in a way that it gets mixed with understanding and believing. We must understand the greatness of God’s Word as we also believe it with our whole hearts. Witnessing some of the advice that was doled out as wisdom in yester-years, as well as today, we can see so clearly how crucial it is for us to hear and understand God’s truth.

    Even today, for many women it is common to accept an abusive man out of a fear of loneliness or fear of not having material or financial provision. Much of this thinking has been breed into us from a culture where faith is not accurately and frequently taught. It’s not just the insidiousness of cultural teaching about abusive behavior, there are many other attitudes we’ve accepted about men and relationships that undermine our confidence and self-worth.

    When we’re praying to cross paths with our future partners or praying for the relationship we’re currently in, these kinds of attitudes and entrenched thinking are often brought to the forefront, where we can examine them. Something will transpire to call our attention to certain things, and the worst course of action we can take is to ignore whats in front of our faces. The baggage of fear is a heavy load, and if we’re carrying it, we need to address it from the root, so that we don’t bring fear and wrong believing into a new relationship. Jesus Christ is Lord in every way, and we must honor him in all area of our lives, especially when it comes to our relationships. Many of us put up the “Stay away” sign, but this is a huge mistake. We desperately need his help. We must remember that the goal is to allow Jesus Christ the room to move in our significant relationship, because he’s the glue that holds them together.

    I remember hearing from a mature Christian woman that we teach men how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Treating ourselves good means that we love ourselves with the love of Christ! Honor, respect, and obedience are just a few Godly characteristics that a woman should live by in order to get her mind and heart in the right place.

    Galatians 5:1 (MSG) says, “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” When we hear the word ‘slavery’, we think of bondage and imprisonment. This is a very real and true perspective of what it means to live in darkness and fear. Participating in a relationship without knowing or upholding the standards of Christ is the equivalent of living behind bars. There’s no freedom in a lie, only God’s truth can bring light, love and liberty to every situation.

    You see, when we don’t press into God for direction and discernment, we might look for love in all the wrong places. Then, we attract men who help us remain comfortable in our insecurities and fear. That’s not what Heavenly Father wants for His beautiful daughters. Ephesians 5:25 says God wants us to be loved by a man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church and gave his life for her. Let’s not remain behind the blinders but remove them to see that just as we are capable and willing to love a man with a heart of Christ, we must not accept less than this from him.■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?

    Just when you think you’ve gotten a clear understanding of what it means to walk by faith, something happens in your life to make you feel you’re almost back at square one. This is exactly what happened to me the day after having the most impactful prayer session I’ve ever had. Whammm! There it was, a formidable obstacle I didn’t see coming. I said to myself, “This is just another trick of the devil!” In fact, it was more than this. It was a mirror presented by my own thoughts and feelings of fear, those that were lurking just beneath the surface. Up to this point, I was operating in the faith I knew, and God has never failed me, but I had to face the reality that I had not been pushed to go beyond a certain level of discomfort. I had to deal with the answer to the question, “Do I truly trust and believe that no matter what, God has my back?”

    I noticed a pattern. Different variations of the same negative situations kept popping up, and with each instance, the circumstances became more severe. Sometimes, we become easily offended when we’re hit with tribulations. We begin to think that God has left us alone. Wrestling with trusting Him can be one of the darkest places a Christian can tread. It leaves a lot of room for doubt and ambivalence.

    Most of us have heard quite a lot of teaching on the subject of doubt. We’ve been schooled on the danger of letting it into our minds, and this can add even another layer of complication. Hebrews 11:6 tells us it is impossible to please God without faith, and some of us might think that if we have doubt in the slightest way, God will not come to our rescue. This isn’t true, of course. God will always come to our aid, but He will also teach us in ways that help us grow in faith.

    There will always be disappointments in life. There will be tribulations. In John 16:33, Jesus Christ told the disciples that in the world they will have many trials and sorrows, but they must be encouraged greatly in their hearts because He, our precious Lord and Savior, has overcome the world. He has won the victory for us. Heavenly Father wants us to realize that we have an enemy, and he, the devil, works through worldly systems. Romans 8 lists some of the persecutions that believers endure; tribulations, distress, being talked about and lied on, the perils of lack and loneliness, and danger coming very close to our lives; it can seem as if we’re just sheep waiting to be devoured. Then, Romans 8:37 tells us that none of these things will separate us from the love of Christ. It says, “despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

    It may not feel like it from where we stand this moment, but we have the victory over any circumstance facing us. Jesus Christ has already won it. Through fear, the enemy tries to keep us from seeing what Christ has done for us; he tries to convince us that God will not come to our rescue. Fear belongs to the devil; it’s his domain. Continually stirring the pot of our anxieties and working through others to prick us, the enemy uses our fear to get us quaking in our boots. We need to know with great confidence that God will help us be released from this fear. He will do it for us if we ask Him, in the powerful name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ left the throne of God to come to earth to save us. He became a flesh and blood person and shared in all the things that we deal with as humans. He did this because God, our Heavenly Father, gave him this mission. The heart of Christ was to do the Will of the Father because he loves Him and he loves us. Hebrews 2:14-15(NLT) says, “Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Jesus Christ has won every victory for us. He showed us how to trust and love God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. Through his sacrifice and resurrection, we are released from anything that tries to hold us back or keep us locked down.

    He’s given us the victory! If you’re struggling to see the victory of Christ in some area of your life, don’t let your doubt place you in more self-condemnation. Don’t let fear and doubt put a wedge in your relationship with God. Ask Him to help your faith and talk with Him honestly about it. The Holy Spirit dwells within, and He will guide, teach, and comfort you. Take comfort in the reality that you will witness God’s grace and His awesome love and care, and this is yours for the asking even if your faith isn’t quite where it needs to be.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Punishing Ourselves for the Past

    The other day, I ran into a woman that I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. I didn’t see her at first, but she recognized me and immediately made her way to where I was standing. It was so good to see her. We hugged each other and the first words out of her mouth were “How do you stay looking so young?” As many of you can attest, running after little ones will keep you on your toes, but nothing keeps you feeling and looking youthful like the grace of God on your life. When you have a heart for God, and you choose to dedicate your life to pleasing Him, He will keep you if you want to be kept. Living according to His Will has restorative power and helps us age gracefully. I’m not saying that we don’t grow older in our appearance, but His ageless grace is apparent on our faces when pleasing Him is our priority.

    All of us have made mistakes and haven’t always done the things we know are right. Some individuals are carrying around the guilt of those things, and this keeps them from walking more fully in God’s extraordinary grace. Sometimes this guilt comes from things we’ve done, and sometimes it comes from things that have been done against us. In some ways, we may be punishing ourselves by continually feeling sad and hurt because our hearts were broken by someone we truly loved. There are other ways that guilt punishes us as well. Sometimes its through the fear that is still operating in our souls because someone violated us when we were powerless to defend ourselves. These are wounds that the enemy would like to keep open, so that he can continue to trap us in fear, sadness, shame, and self-condemnation.

    Many of us allow mistakes and pain from the past to affect us in the present. We do this by spending a lot of time thinking about the situations and focusing on the harm they caused. This shows us that we’re still hanging on to these emotions and thoughts. God wants us to wear the sweet perfume of His grace and this requires us to stop punishing ourselves by rehashing and reliving the past. We’re giving negativity space and weight in our lives, and Heavenly Father wants to help us release it.

    In Luke 7:36-39 (NLT), Jesus Christ demonstrates the liberty and grace he extends through the record of a woman who had made some serious mistakes. In this passage, one of the Pharisees, a group known to deplore him, invited Jesus to have dinner with him. Jesus accepted the invitation and as they were eating, a certain immoral woman from the city heard he would be eating there and brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. This woman had a bad reputation in town because of her deeds of the past. Understanding the times in which this takes place is crucial, because it wasn’t easy even for a woman with a good reputation, so you can imagine what it was like for a woman with a soiled one.

    Some believe she was a prostitute, a label given to many women that were forced to make a living on their own because they didn’t have a husband. She might have come from a poor family with no pedigree and fallen in love with someone who promised to be her rescuer, but only used her for his pleasure. Heartbroken, but naïve’, perhaps she fell into this trap repeatedly. Men in the town began to talk, and because no man would marry her, she was labeled immoral. She was ostracized from good society, and no doubt felt life was a vicious cycle of which she had no power and no redemption.

    She had heard reports of Jesus’ ministry and teaching, and an urgency to see him ignited her heart. When learning he would have dinner at Simon, the Pharisee’s house, she made it her business to see Jesus, and she did not come empty handed, but came ready to submit herself in the most humble way she knew. She brought an alabaster box filled with perfume, intent to perform a service that was typically relegated to the lowest servant in the house. Luke 7:38(NLT) tells us, “Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.”

    Again, we need to know a little bit more about the times to see the heart of what this woman did. Hospitality was greatly treasured back then. It was extremely important to the culture. It was customary to do things like have a servant standing by to attend the guest by presenting a basin of water and towel so they could wipe their feet. They wore sandals and their feet were always dusty, so this washing of the feet was a common courtesy. It was also customary to greet valued guests with a kiss on each cheek and to anoint their head with oil. Simon had been a poor host to say the least. He had performed none of these hospitable protocols for Jesus, the Son of the Living God.

    When at a dinner table back then, it was common for the feet to be postured off to the side, behind the body in a sitting position on the floor. It is possible that this is how Jesus was sitting when the woman came behind him to wash his feet. Simon was incredulous that Jesus had allowed this woman to touch him. She dared not kiss his head, knowing how she was viewed, but kissed his feet and anointed them with perfume. Jesus rebuked Simon for his neglect of common courtesies and in Luke 7:47-48 (NLT) said, “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love. Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.””

    In Luke 7:50, Jesus told the woman that her faith had saved her, and to go in peace. This is the grace that he offers to all of us. We must stop punishing ourselves by rehashing old memories of hurtful situations in the past. By doing this, we are trying to keep dead things alive. Jesus took it all to the cross and we need to leave it there so we can walk in the liberty he freely offers.

    Take a piece of paper and write down all the negative things that have happened to you in the past that are still affecting you today. Be as honest and thorough as you can. Spill your heart openly to God on paper. Remember that the more you deliver over to Jesus—the more you ask and accept his forgiveness and restoration, the more love you’ll show him. Then, when you’ve written it all down, pray over it. Tell the Lord that you’re giving everything on that paper to Him, and that through his blood—the blood of Jesus Christ, you are released from them now! Tear the paper into the smallest bits possible and dispose of them in whatever way that causes you to have a new memory—one of being released from everything that has held you back or robbed you of joy. Go in peace. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Punishing Ourselves for the Past”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Igniting A Spark in His Heart

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This is a great verse for anyone questioning whether God is in their corner when it comes to their quest to be married. Every time I read this verse, I’m reminded of a good friend. He said to me, “I’m no good at living alone or being by myself!” He made this statement a few years before he married his wife. He had a few relationships earlier on, but he struggled to find a balance between being a single father, prioritizing the needs of a significant other, and handling the pressure of being a successful professional. When his son went off to college, the need for someone with good maternal instincts slipped off the list, and he just wanted a companion to spend the rest of his life with. He’s an attractive person, and I found it particularly surprising how challenging he thought it was for him to find a compatible mate.

    A few years passed before he met someone that he was interested in dating long-term. He complained that many of the women he found attractive didn’t seem to have solid values or substance. They were ok with just casually dating and anything else that might come along with it. He’s a man with Christian values and wanted the woman he’d marry to not only appreciate this, but to be equally as committed to them as he was. You would think this wouldn’t be too challenging to find, and for him, it was.

    I believe the Lord allows us to hear and see certain things for a reason, and my friend’s situation opened my eyes wider to a few tweaks I needed to make. Sometimes, God lets us see and hear about situations so we will glean a bit of wisdom and take proactive measures to change or alter something in our own lives. Through James the Apostle, God tells us in James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Most single believers understand that wisdom is the principal thing and is necessary for a successful marriage, but they want to wait until they’re married to learn those foundational lessons. We need to be well-seasoned. This means the seeds that are planted now will blossom and be a part of us before we’re married. Then we will be able to nurture and support our spouses with compassion and understanding through tough times.

    My friend had attended plenty of functions where several Christian women were present, but he was waiting for a spark that connected with him. As I thought about his predicament, I began to understand that if our lights are hidden or we’re not in the habit of keeping them well lit, we may not be able to ignite a spark or recognize the need for it in someone else.

    We must ask ourselves if we have become so accustomed to our own habit patterns and thoughts about how we’ll function in marriage, that we don’t have room for God’s Will and Purpose. If our desire is to be mostly occupied with having our own needs met, we will be closed off from the one who seeks to fill a void. God tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Finding a wife is admirable in the Father’s eyes. He instructs the man to do the finding, and He tells the woman how to guard her heart so she will be found. Both are equally important, but distinct, because this is the way God wanted it. We will be frustrated and disappointed in this area if we don’t honor God’s order; for He always knows best.

    Some single women that are successful in their careers may argue they don’t need a man to achieve success, and when they’re ready, they’ll begin to look for a spouse. Success in a career does not equate to a successful marriage. Jesus Christ reminds us in John 15:5 that he must be in the driver’s seat of our lives, and especially in our relationships. We don’t want to let the enemy in through pride. Marriage is God’s institution, and His way tells us that a mindset of unity, striving together, and appreciating each other’s uniqueness is required for a successful union. Having two people face challenges together extends a feeling of confidence and security about overcoming any obstacle.

    If we ask Him, through the Holy Spirit that indwells us, Heavenly Father will help us develop the qualities that will magnetize us to the presentation He will make. We need His spark through the Lord Jesus Christ, and if we are diligent to His Word we’ll have it. Some of us have never asked God to do this work within us, or to do it within the heart and mind of the man He will present to us. Now is the perfect time to add this very important request to your prayer life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Igniting A Spark In His Heart” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Breaking the Chains of Loneliness

    In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A person that has never experienced the bondage of things like addiction, debt, lack, loneliness, or imprisonment of any kind, may not appreciate the significance of the words of Christ in this verse. They may not be able to imagine the joy of being set free from those things. But for anyone that has ever been held captive by a condition, circumstance, or situation of any kind, the words of Christ in this verse bring forth God’s enormous love, grace, and power. Jesus has promised that once we know and trust God’s truth, it will literally transfer us out of what we’re in and release us into the glorious state of liberty! All of us should desperately want this, because when it comes to years of loneliness and being without the love we desire, we need to be set free.

    Words like independence, self-government, rights and privileges come to mind when we think about the word ‘freedom.’ It is a state of not being enslaved or imprisoned by anything oppressive. This is liberty! It is such an important word for the Christian. Before Christ came into our lives, we were enslaved by the bondage of darkness. We were held captive by the evil one who enslaves through ignorance and evil. In 2Timothy 2:25-26, through the Apostle Paul, God tells us to gently instruct people that oppose the truth of His Word. We’re instructed to pray that they will come to their senses and accept God’s truth, so they can escape the devil’s trap. God tells us that they are being held captive by the devil so they can do whatever the devil wants. This is the state we were in before we accepted Christ.

    Colossians 1:13(NLT) informs us of what God did for us when we invited Jesus Christ into our hearts. It says, “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son.” We were in darkness, doomed to an eternal hell without Christ. You and I don’t have the capacity to visualize how truly tragic and horrifying a life in hell is, but we absolutely can visualize what it means to be free from hell’s grip, because we are living the reality of this liberty every day. As believers, if we haven’t come into an understanding about where we were before we accepted the Lord Jesus Christ, we won’t truly appreciate the liberty he has made available to us now. And if we don’t appreciate the liberty that Christ has given us, we won’t walk in it. You cannot fully embrace, walk, and live in something you’re not thankful to receive.

    Loneliness is defined as a sadness experienced by a person that doesn’t have friends, or who feels isolated because of feeling unloved and undervalued. It cannot be lost on us that loneliness is a form of bondage. In Luke 4:18(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.” This is what Jesus Christ came to do. He came to give us access to a more than abundant life, and to break chains of oppression and bondage of every kind, so that we can walk in his liberty and be free!

    The way to receive what Jesus Christ has made available is to know the truth. Truth is medicine that is administered to the head and heart. This tells us that bondage is more than external circumstances. Bondage begins internally, in the mind and heart, and this is where the condition of loneliness must be first addressed. To do so, we must admit to ourselves how much (or how less) we have truly accepted the finished work of Christ in our hearts. We must examine if anything, including loneliness, has hindered our demonstration of gratitude to God for rescuing us from darkness and giving us liberty in Christ.

    Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. Will you trust God and trust in His power and in His way? God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider the liberty He’s given us, as well as all the other blessings we have received through Christ! Do you believe in the depth of your heart and soul that God will bless you to cross the path of your future spouse? God has set you free from hell through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He’s saved you from damnation for all eternity. You will never see satan’s dwelling place or go through the everlasting torture the devil wants to inflict on you. Because of what God has done through Christ, you will never be separated from His love.

    Heavenly Father did all of this for us when we were at our worse. Consider the wealth of all that God has already done to demonstrate His love. John 3:16(NLT) tells us “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” God spared not His only Son so that all of us that are born-again could be His sons and daughters. Do you think a Great Big Wonderful God like this would deny you a loving spouse? It would grieve His heart for us to think that. He loves us so much, and we must realize this.

    Faith demands that you be deeply thankful, from the bottom of your heart, for what God has already done for you through Christ. He has delivered you from darkness. He’s broken the chains of loneliness for every person who believes in the finished work of Christ. Invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within your heart. Ask the Lord to help increase your faith so that you walk in God’s Will and in the liberty of knowing the truth! Your future spouse is going to greatly bless your life, and he deserves to meet you loosed and free.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Breaking the Chains of Loneliness” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!

    Witnessing a miracle thousands of years ago when our blessed Savior walked the earth was just as extraordinary as it is to witness a miracle today. However, one could argue that the needs of many people were much greater back then. During the time of his ministry, people were amazed and excited by the wondrous acts of love that Jesus was able to do. News spread quickly about his power and compassion. John 6:1 tells us that large crowds began to gather and follow him because they saw him miraculously heal the sick. During this time, they didn’t have hospitals or conveniently located doctors’ offices and medical treatment centers. Without a local community person that was well-versed in homeopathic herbs, many people suffered through diseases and illnesses in agony. The severity of their situations compelled them to zoom in on Jesus with razor-sharp attention. They were looking for a miracle, and he didn’t disappoint them. He won’t disappoint us either.

    John 6 tells us a great multitude followed him after Jesus left Jerusalem and was back in the area of Galilee. As soon as we hear the name ‘Jesus’ in the same sentence as the word ‘multitude’, our thoughts are immediately braced for the epic love transaction that is about to take place. We know certainly that our Lord and Savior was all too capable of doing the miraculous, and that the great need of others would be met by his willingness to perform according to the Father’s Will.

    People of all backgrounds, ages, and conditions were attracted to his great power, and he knew they would be. He wanted them to come to him because he possessed the healing, restoration, and love they desperately needed. We should all aspire to be spiritually strong in Christ, so that others can see the strength of our faith and glorify God. Our faith in God has drawing power, and if we remain close to Him, it will pull people and resources that will both bless us and allow us to be a blessing.

    As was his custom, you and I can guess with a great deal of probability that Jesus Christ had already received revelation about what was going to occur in John 6. In John 5:19(NLT), the preceding chapter, Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” No doubt Jesus spent quality time in prayer with Heavenly Father in the wee hours of the morning, and God had already revealed to him what was going to transpire and how he should handle the situation.

    It was around the time of Passover, and John 6:5(NLT) tells us that while sitting on a hill with his disciples, they saw the huge crowd coming towards Jesus. He turned to Philip and asked a question, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Jesus was not looking to Philip for a resolution, because he knew Philip had doubt in his heart. In John 6:7(NLT), Philip responded, “Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!” There were about five thousand men, and this count did not include the women and children that were there as well. Philip saw this situation as outside the limits of what they could handle. The revelation of the enormous power and authority of Jesus Christ slipped by him, and it really shows us how careful we must all be not to let this happen.

    The miracle that Jesus performed in John 6 would not be the first of which Philip would see. As a disciple, he had been with Jesus and had seen him do many marvelous works, yet, the crowd, the bigness of the situation, caused Philip to go to a place he had been many times before. It caused him to shrink back to doubt, because like many of us, doubt for him was comfortable. Understand that God is able and willing to go beyond anything you can ask or think, and the only thing that is required from us is to trust and believe in His ability and willingness.

    In John 6:9, Andrew spoke up and said, “Hey, there’s a boy over there, and he has five loaves of bread and two fish, but we can’t feed all these people with this little bit of food.” It cannot be lost on us that this boy with seemingly too little food to feed a multitude of thousands was strategically positioned for the purpose of God. Not only did he have the right amount of food, but he was in the right place at the right time. He had just enough for the miracle that was about to take place. This allows us to see that although we may not be the most talented; we might be the most attractive or intelligent. In fact, we may think we’re not enough or that we don’t have the qualifications to do all the things we desire to do, but God can take the little bit we have and make it great! We are exactly what we should be for Him to work a miracle.

    Jesus Christ fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish. He blew everyone’s mind by showing us the magnitude of God’s love and power. Heavenly Father is willing to do so much in our situations. He wants to show Himself strong on our behalves, but many of us will not give Him the little bit we have so He can make it great. Instead, we make excuses. We allow our minds and hearts to remain on the lower plain of doubt and insecurity, and because of this, we cannot see the hand of God reaching down to lift us up. Change this! Spend time in prayer and ask Heavenly Father to reveal His Will for your life. Ask Him to lead and guide you, and don’t hold back anything from God. Be always willing to present the little you have to Him in faith, and always expect that He will multiply it and make it great!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Ten Years without Coming Close

    A friend told me she took her ex-boyfriend out for lunch. He’d been in town visiting family, and since both have moved on and still remain good friends, they decided to catch-up. During dinner, he told her that he realized shortly after their break-up he’d messed up a really good thing with her. He said he regretted never taking their relationship to the next level.  When I asked why she broke up with him, she commented, “When someone is not ready to mature and move forward in life, then you have to leave them where they are.” My friend also shared with me that this wasn’t an easy pill to swallow when they first broke-up. It happened over ten years ago, and until this day, she says he’s the only man she’s ever been close to marrying.

    Having the strength to let go and move on from a relationship that isn’t right for you takes courage and determination. I applaud my friend’s stand to do what she believed was in her best interest, but I have to admit to being taken aback hearing her say she hasn’t come close to marrying over the last ten years. My thoughts percolate with rapid speed when I hear things like this. Immediately, scriptures flash across my mind as I remind myself of God’s promises. Out of habit, I look to God’s Word to remedy and make whole any and all issues, because it contains everything we need to live a life that is pleasing to Heavenly Father and fulfilling to us as well.

    In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus Christ tells us to come to him with all our burdens, and he will give us rest. A burden over extends us. It causes us to expend more emotional, mental, and physical energy than we can healthily give, and therefore, leaves us depleted. Jesus Christ presents us with an exponentially better choice. We can choose well and hand over our burdens to him because he can handle the load. Unfortunately, many of us don’t do this. We make the choice to continue carrying the burden ourselves and allow it to break us. One would think this is an easy choice and that everyone would choose to let Jesus handle the load, but again, most do not.

    I believe my friend made a good choice. She released a person because it was blazingly apparent that he didn’t want to grow with her. She had the foresight to realize that continuing this relationship was burdening her life and depleting her energies. So, she let it go. She got this part right, but the other part of God’s directive, the part in Matthew 11:29 where Jesus Christ tells us to learn about him so that we will find rest for our souls—she missed this part.

    Heavenly Father created life in such a way that any time something is released, cut-out, or eradicated; the gap must be filled. We see this all throughout nature. We also see it in the lives of people that are hurting so deeply inside that they use harmful substances and toxic relationships to fill the void.

    When we give our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ, we must give up our old life. It was filled to the brim with sin and darkness. Jesus Christ comes into our hearts and brings the fullness of love, light, liberty, and life. He gives us joy everlasting, but most of us don’t give up everything about our old lives in one big swoop. It’s a gradual process for us. Our prayer and aim should be that as we realize we’re holding on to harmful remnants of darkness, we release them as we continue to walk with Christ throughout our lives. Many people never pray to come into knowledge about the darkness they harbor, and they fill the gaps with everything but the love of Jesus Christ.

    Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God’s masterpieces, and that He recreated our spirits in Christ Jesus so that we can do all the good things He planned for us long ago. God has a good plan for our lives, and the way to fulfill it is to learn about Jesus Christ. This is our destiny! Very often there is something specific that God wants to teach us about His love, and its the thing we need in our arsenal for future marital unity and harmony. If we don’t make learning about Jesus Christ a priority in our lives, we’ll deny ourselves the privilege of becoming like him and being the blessing God wants us to be. During the transition from ‘single’ to ‘married’, all of us will experience feelings of emptiness as we wait to meet our future spouses, but let’s fill the gap with the love of Jesus Christ. Then, we’ll draw the right person into our lives, and have the rich and satisfying existence that God planned for us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Ten Years without Coming Close” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Let’s Clean House

    Saturday’s are my ‘clean house day.’ It’s the only day during the week that allows me time to make sure most of the house is clean the way I like it. My mother had all girls. She was never fooled by the surface cleaning we used to do in a hurry when we were younger. It had to be cleaned through and through, which meant we couldn’t get away with making it look good on top. She inspected the details. We couldn’t just put away things in cabinets; the cabinets had to be cleaned and neat as well. What can I say? This stuck with me. Like everyone else, I’m busy all the time, so not everything gets the full attention I prefer, but at least I know most of the house has gotten the bleach-clean treatment I’m used to; and I feel good in my soul when it’s done.

    One particular Saturday afternoon, I decided to clean out my make-up kit and bathroom cabinet.  Before I knew it, my trash can was full of mascara, lipsticks, and hair products. I couldn’t believe how much stuff I had accumulated and had to throw away. I also quickly realized how much time, money, and effort I’d spent on trying to look my best. This is of course the way God’s children should approach their well-being, and I’m sure I’m not alone on this one. It demonstrates the dedication most of us put into our outward appearance. But what about the inner appearance? The inner part is what God values most!

    Honestly, I don’t regret making the purchases or the time and energy I spend to look my best, because this is one of the ways we take care of our temple and make sure it looks as good on the outside as it does on the inside. We demonstrate our gratitude for God’s gifts by taking care of them as best we can. You and I represent God’s Kingdom as ambassadors for Christ, but we must never underestimate the Words of God in 1 Samuel 16:7(NLT): “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    Our Heavenly Father doesn’t see us the same way as others, thank goodness! 1Samuel 16:7 is a reminder that the heart is more important than outward appearance to God. Society puts tremendous focus on how a person looks outwardly, on what kind of clothes they wear or how well their hair is groomed, but this isn’t Heavenly Father’s focus. He looks at the heart.

    God requires that we clean house when it comes to the feelings and desires of our hearts, because we’ve got things left in there from the past, when we didn’t know Christ as well as we know him now. God tells us in His Word to get rid of the old thought patterns, attitudes, and behaviors we had in the past. Those things cause us to sabotage our blessings, and this isn’t what Heavenly Father wants. Sometimes, we have to do more than surface clean. We need to inspect inside the cabinets, and throw away that stuff that isn’t useful to our journey forward and upward. We need to make room in our lives for new blessings and greater spiritual growth; this is what we need to put on like a second skin. Some of us are still holding on to things like pride, arrogance, bitterness, resentment, and anger. We need to be praying and asking the Lord to help us release that old dead stuff so that we are prepared for what He has in store.

    In Matthew 23, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, warned the Pharisees about being more concerned with their outward appearance than with the conditions of their own hearts. He said in Matthew 23:27(NKJV), “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” We don’t want to be guilty of carrying dead things in our hearts like them. And therefore, we must pray continually like the psalmist, David, prayed in Psalm 51:10,  that the Holy Spirit will create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. We must ask God to help us see anything that isn’t right, so we can clean house and be well pleasing to our Heavenly Father.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Let’s Clean House” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Building Intimacy

    One of the chief purposes of relationships is to teach us about God’s love. Heavenly Father is a God of love. His Word tells us that He IS love, and because we are His children, we should take on His divine nature and make it our own. We should live love. Colossians 3:12-14(NLT) says, “12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” This passage paints a beautiful portrait of the kind of marriage God wants us to have.

    Heavenly Father desires intimacy in His relationship with us. He requires total surrender and commitment because total surrender and commitment from us is what He deserves. So that you and I have greater understanding of intimacy, in terms of what it takes to both obtain and maintain it, God has placed a desire for it within our hearts. This is one of the reasons that our desire for companionship is very strong. Not only is it very strong, but it is also very discerning. We want intimacy with a person that we deem to have qualities and attributes we admire and like most. When we meet someone like this, and the fondness is mutual, it’s possible we might discover that this person presented their best selves during the beginning of getting to know them; however, we didn’t see their undesirable or negative qualities until later in the relationship.

    All of us have negative qualities and attributes. God doesn’t disown us as His children because of them. Instead, He tells us to renew our minds and change our hearts. He tells us to clothe ourselves with His love, so that we learn to become compassionate and understanding regarding the shortcomings of others. This creates harmony and unity in our relationship with God. It has the same effect in our relationships with others. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. As we are patient with what we perceive as the shortcomings of those we love, closeness and intimacy grows.

    James 1:4(NKJV) tells us, “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Patience is part of God’s nature, and He desires to see it mirrored in us. It completes the work that He wants accomplished in our lives. It is a perfect work, and it makes us prepared for His purpose. It also helps us to develop true and real intimacy with Heavenly Father. He will not allow this intimacy to be rushed, but it must be built as we understand more about His magnificence, holiness, sovereignty, and love. We can’t rush intimacy with Him, and this should help us understand that we can’t rush intimacy in our other relationships either.

    Isaiah 40:31(NKJV) says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” If a single person learns no other spiritual lesson, they should certainly learn from their own personal experiences how important patience is to God. When it comes to the desire and quest to be married, God doesn’t allow us to speed Him up or slow Him down. He doesn’t withhold the blessing of marriage from anyone that desires it, but the virtue of patience must be firmly anchored in the Christian’s heart before the faith to usher in marriage to the right person is solidified.

    Learning to wait on the Lord renews our strength so that we can climb higher. This is a truth that applies to our relationship with God, and it also applies to our relationships with people. It takes time to get to know a person well enough to discern if they are a presentation from God. They may seem to be initially, but time may prove otherwise. However, if this person is in fact a presentation from Heavenly Father, they still may have qualities you dislike–I mean really dislike. Spiritual maturity requires us to work through those negative qualities by putting on the love of Christ, but we can’t do this if we’ve allowed our need for intimacy to drive the relationship. Trying to have intimacy without allowing it to develop through patience and purity will ultimately lead to unmet expectations. This will give the enemy an opportunity to attack the harmony we’re endeavoring to build.

    Intimacy is a closeness that is forged through devotion, commitment, understanding, communion and communication. God desires intimacy in His relationship with us, but He doesn’t force us to respond to His love. He patiently waits on us to grow in our understanding of His nature and will. In this way, intimacy becomes a reward of patience. We must remember this when it comes to the significant relationship in our lives as well. It is an extremely important spiritual lesson, and if we learn it well, we’ll be prepared for a fulfilling marriage that is bonded together in perfect harmony with God’s love.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Building Intimacy” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Feeling Unloved

    She said she felt unloved at home. When her husband asked why she cheated on the marriage, this was her response. His name is Jeff, and he is what most of us would coin as the quintessential ‘good man’. He’s handsome, handy, and loves being at home. He’s kept a steady job for years and is sometimes generous to a fault. What is wrong with sister-girl? How could she let him go? It’s not as if good men like this are falling out of trees like leaves. They are a little challenging to find, don’t you think? And once you’re blessed to cross paths with someone that’s compatible and digs you too…WHAT!!! That’s a match, right? …not always!

    See, this is the thing we have to be careful about. Everyone is looking for a soul-mate, someone that moves them so undeniably that they can’t envision living their lives without this person in it. Sometimes we meet someone, instantly feel a connection, and we’re convinced in our souls this person is the match we’ve been searching for. The problem a whole bunch of us run into is that we don’t always know our souls well enough to trust this feeling completely. We need the help of the Holy Spirit to determine if we’re making the right choice. Jesus informs us in John 16:13 that the Spirit guides us into all truth. Our souls don’t always tell the truth, so this verse isn’t referring to information we get from our souls. It’s referring to the truth that only Jesus Christ can give us.

    In Psalm 51:10(ESV), David, the psalmist, prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” This is an attitude that moves us closer to God and prepares us for our destinies. Being single provides us with an opportunity to pray this prayer continually. It gives us the time we need to let Jesus Christ take the wheel, and to be patient with ourselves as we surrender it to him completely, so he can lead us where God wants us to go. The first stop is going to be our hearts. He will lead us inside our souls to see some things we perhaps have never seen. This will bring up feelings that were bottled up long ago, but sometimes we must confront the place inside our hearts where we feel unloved, and we must do this before we even meet the person we’ll ultimately marry.

    If we don’t do this work before we get married, our expectations for marital partners will be unrealistic, because we expect them to love us in places where we don’t even love ourselves. If we did, we would have allowed the love of Christ to do its perfect work in our souls.

    When God looks at a married couple, He sees one person. Marriage is His institution, and the covenant has His stamp on it. If God looks at the married couple this way, you and I have no other choice but to view partnership this way as well. When you look at your spouse, you will see yourself; and vice versa. Your spouse will sometimes mirror the best in you, as well as the worst in you. The worst in us of course is the reflection none of us want to see. If we’re not spiritually mature enough to handle it, the blame game begins, and our unloved place grows.

    Psalm 34:18(NLT) tells us, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” The Lord will be close to us when our hearts are broken and rescue us when we’re crushed from a relationship gone wrong, but He’d much rather rescue us before we make the wrong choices. We’re all born in sin. We will make mistakes, and we have things about ourselves that can cause us to sabotage meaningful relationships, but we must remember that God knows our futures. He knows that many of us feel unloved because we haven’t fully surrendered to Christ. He will help us address this and prevent us from getting hurt down the road. Let the Holy Spirit takeover your preparation for marriage. If you follow his guidance, he’ll help you surrender the things that hold you back so you can embrace His love, and let it propel you further. ■

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Feeling Unloved” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!