The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie

We hear a lot about soul ties in today’s environment, and it has both positive and negative connotations. “Soul tie” is a phrase that people use to describe a deep spiritual connection to another individual. Some think of it as a connection that occurs when two people meet for the first time and realize that their souls are destined to become one. Any person that has experienced the fulfillment and joy of a meaningful soul tie will want it to last a lifetime. It’s the dream on the hearts of many of God’s people, and the continual subject of their prayers. We are wired to seek connection, and when we make one on a soul level, everything feels right in life. The thing that very few of us prepare for is what happens when our souls untie.

Matthew 19 gives us a record of an occasion when the Pharisees came to test Jesus Christ regarding the legality of divorce. Verses 4-5(NLT) tells us his response, “4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” This passage leaves no question of God’s intention for marriage and unity. When a man and a woman marry, they become one in His sight.

In this marital union, it is possible that one person might significantly change mentally and emotionally. It’s not uncommon to hear divorced men and women say, “We just outgrew one another.” The unexplainable aspect is the reality that they were so sure at one time that their souls were inextricably linked. It was inconceivable to the both of them that anything in life could occur that would cause their soul tie to be broken. This begs us to consider the reality that things in life break all the time, but there is nothing broken in the life of any human being that cannot be repaired and made better through the love of Christ.

No Blame Game
1Corinthians 12:27(NLT) declares, “Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.”  This puts the ‘out-growing’ rationale in perspective. As children of the Most High God and siblings of Christ, we are all members of one body and therefore, we are indeed inextricably linked through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4:10 tells us that Jesus Christ left certain gifts pertaining to spiritual leadership for his body. These gifts are to accomplish the mission of God’s plan which is for the whole body to be unified in faith regarding the knowledge of Christ. Again, this ‘individual parts functioning as a whole’ is God’s plan for the Body of Christ, and His Will is that everything will be under the authority, power, and rule of Jesus Christ, our King.

The outcome of God’s plan is made plain for us in Ephesians 4:16(NLT). It tells us, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”  It is inevitable that we will all grow at various levels with various speeds. God’s intention is that one partner will aid the growth of another in the way that He has ordained.

To shift blame on to the other person for a lack of spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity is not only injurious to the relationship, it is injurious to us. It takes us out of accountability and humility. We have neither the bandwidth nor the right to stand in the seat of judgment when it comes to God’s plan for our spouses and partners. Heavenly Father’s plan for them existed long before they met us. Our responsibility is to ‘help the other parts grow’. God will keep the tie together when our willingness and intention is to aid His purpose. He will bless us and help us weather challenges and difficulties on all fronts if we minister in our unions through His grace and righteousness.

Specific and Continual Prayer for Your Partner

Souls develop and grow, that’s part of what they do. They release things that we feel no longer serve us and they gravitate towards things we believe will give us pleasure. So, when our mates no longer give us the pleasure that we’re used to receiving from them, that’s what we perceive as a serious problem. The soul wants what it wants, and when it doesn’t get its usual diet, or its appetite changes, we feel empty. The natural inclination of folks in a relationship is to think that the relationship is no longer useful because it doesn’t fill us up the way it used to. We then attribute the emptiness we feel to the partner. He’s not making our soul tank FEEL full.

One of the lessons we learn as we grow in Christ is that Jesus is the source of our joy. If we’re looking for the relationship to be the source of our joy, we are setting it up for disappointment. Christ works through us, and he works through our partners because of our faith in him. You and I don’t have any glue of our own to hold a relationship together; we just don’t. It is the love of God in Christ that holds everything together. When it seems the soul tie in a relationship is coming untied, more glue—more of the love of Christ—is the solution. You and I may not know how to administer God’s love in a way that addresses the untie, but the indwelling Holy Spirit knows exactly what to do. Our responsibility is to pray fervently and frequently for our partners, that the Spirit will do his perfect work in them, and in us.

As wives and girlfriends, truthfully, we’ve let this one slip on an epic scale. Even now, while you are unmarried or unpartnered, you must set a habit pattern of praying specifically for the salvation and spiritual growth of your husband. Pray that the Will of God is done in his life, and that you will be a conduit of God’s love to help him continue to walk the path Heavenly Father has placed before him. We have grossly underestimated the level of diligence to prayer that a union requires. We need to be locked into the Father’s heart when it comes to ministering to our spouses. Specific and continual prayer prepares us for hiccups and gives us the patience and discipline to be still as God works them out.

Be Still

The loss of partnership when our souls appear to untie is difficult, but we can get over it of course through the healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, it is also very necessary for us to understand that those same two souls can be unified again through Christ. It can be done through our willingness to pray, not out of desperation, but out of obedience to what God desires. We must also understand that unity cannot be achieved without humility. Recognize that even though you may have developed a soul tie, your soul cannot call the shots; it cannot rule your life. Jesus Christ is Lord! He is in the driver’s seat. He must rule our lives, and we must allow him to lead, guide, and direct us.

God said in Psalm 46:10(NKJV), “Be still, and know that I am God.” Don’t panic or make hasty decisions and choices when things are untangling. Often this is an indicator that our own souls need nourishment, and the only Source of nourishment for our souls is God’s Word. We must still ourselves and get into the Word with a greater commitment to pray and receive wisdom and understanding. Don’t allow the enemy to whisper lies in your ears and cause you to step away from your destiny. The Holy Spirit will teach you and reveal to you what to do if you make God’s Word the priority. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie”, written for Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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