Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women Organization

  • Search Me Lord

    Search Me Lord

    Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT)
    23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you.

    When you have a child, there is nothing you won’t do to protect them, because you love them. You believe you know your child through and through. If someone asked you to tell them everything there is to know about your child, you could probably give them a long list of characteristics and qualities in great detail, but even as well as we think we know our kids, they still surprise us. We are imperfect human beings with flaws and habit patterns that cause us to surprise even ourselves at times. None of us could ever possibly know our own selves nearly as well as we claim too. We are forever beings—eternal. When you think about the reality that God knew us from the beginning, and He knows us all the way through an endless eternity, it’s pretty mind boggling.

    Heavenly Father knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb. He knows our every thought, and even the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we’re going to say or do before we say or do it. So why, then, did the Psalmist ask God to search him, when God already knew all there is to know about him?

    God’s love is infinitely above the love from a parent or a spouse. His love cannot be compared to any that we will experience from another human being. David asked that God would search his heart because he had confidence in Heavenly Father. He knew God’s power. He knew God’s omnipotence, and that God uses all that He is to lavish us in His care. David also understood that there are times when we get in our own way. We block ourselves from the very blessings we desire.

    Some of us want to be married so very badly, or maybe it is something else that we’ve been praying a long time to receive. As sons and daughters of God, we should know enough about the way of Christ to understand that changes will continually need to be made; this is the nature of life and growth. You and I don’t always pick up on the things that we need to change, but when we have a heart like David—when our faith is truly in God, we can be confident enough to ask God to search our hearts.

    We’re asking God to take us on an inward journey. We’re asking Him to reveal something to us internally that has been hidden from our consciousness—something that will help us to know ourselves better through Christ, so that we can be better for him and for ourselves.

    All of us should ask God to search us for anything that offends Him. He will most assuredly reveal it, and when He does, we will see that God has been preparing us to receive the desires of our hearts all along.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Search Me Lord” written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Actions and Consequences

    Actions and Consequences

    Romans 8:28(NKJV) is one among many jewels in the crown of knowledge and wisdom that God has given us. It says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” When we think of this verse, we should try imagining life as one big stirring pot of every kind of circumstance one can imagine; both advantageous, and not so much. If our aim is to please God and to grow closer to Him, no matter how vigorous or slowly we stir the contents of this pot—no matter how heated or lukewarm the contents may be, the ultimate outcome is always going to be something delicious.

    Romans 8:28 is God’s guarantee, yet it is often so difficult for many of us to believe, particularly when it comes to crossing paths with the person we will ultimately marry. Some of us can become so emotionally distraught with the ups and downs of dating and misfits, that we’re too exhausted to give ‘hope’ the fighting chance it deserves. There’s a remedy for this, and truly it is the only one that makes any sense. If you’ve been praying and praying, year after year, and it doesn’t feel as if you’ve made significant headway towards the proverbial trip down the aisle, the truth is that indeed you have made strides; perhaps some that you haven’t yet recognized.

    fcm-romans-8-28You’ve probably learned quite a bit about what you don’t like and what you’re unwilling to tolerate in the person you want to marry. The depth and meaningfulness of qualities like loyalty, devotion, gentleness, kindness, and affection are probably now more prominent in your pursuit of a Godly partner than those of pretty eyes, dimples, and a full head of hair. But even though you’ve gained this knowledge, still, you can’t fully know from where you stand today the kind of spiritual, emotional, and mental tenacity that it requires for two people to hold a union intact. We all think we know, but really, we have no idea.

    The process of spiritual preparation for marriage is an incredibly important subject for anyone desiring to be a spouse. Sometimes we forget that our Heavenly Father has a standard, and His standard is such that all things are going to coagulate, cooperate, and gel together in such a way that our good rises to the top.

    This isn’t going to just pop out of nowhere. There’s a human element to this equation, and that means that the Holy Spirit absolutely has to be involved if success is the goal. He, the gift, is going to guide us to the finish line. He’s our teacher, so learning some serious lessons absolutely has to be a part of the equation too. One of the lessons required to be fully and tightly fitted in our arsenal of wisdom and faith is the lesson of Cause and Effect.

    Often, it’s not an easy pill to swallow, but swallow it we must because it is simply the way God designed the universe to work; and no matter how much we may not like it at times, the end result will always be to His glory. There is a cause and effect to everything in life, and when you come to understand this, you’ll see the thread of truth that runs through every triumph and defeat of your existence.

    Simply put, when your heart is to please God and bless others, not only will you see it reflected in your life, but so will others around you as well. But lest we forget, there’s a flip side to this coin. When you have ugliness in your heart, such as bitterness, anger, and arrogance; situations and people will act as a mirror, reflecting the bad stuff that you really wouldn’t want.

    To see this more clearly, consider the message that God gave the prophet, Zephaniah, to give to the people of Judah and Jerusalem. Manasseh and his son Amon, notorious idol worshippers, were two of the most wicked kings of Judah and Jerusalem. During their reign the people turned their backs on God, ceased to worship Him, and began to pick up the practices of Manasseh and Amon and worshipped idol Gods. They became a society of people that were corrupt and immoral in every sense of the word.

    Zephaniah warned them of “the day of the Lord”, and in Zephaniah 1:2,3, 12-14 (The Message), he gave them a message from Heavenly Father:

    2 “I’m going to make a clean sweep of the earth, a thorough housecleaning.” God’s Decree.

    3 “Men and women and animals, including birds and fish—Anything and everything that causes sin—will go, but especially people.

    12-14 On Judgment Day, I’ll search through every closet and alley in Jerusalem. I’ll find and punish those who are sitting it out, fat and lazy, amusing themselves and taking it easy, Who think, ‘God doesn’t do anything, good or bad. He isn’t involved, so neither are we.’ But just wait. They’ll lose everything they have, money and house and land.

    Some of us have imagined that God would leave His throne just to punish these folks for their deplorable and evil behavior, but God designed the universe to hurl back at us the full brunt (and then some) of the stuff that we give it, whether it’s positive or negative. Heavenly Father allows us to live our lives just the way we choose – it’s our free-will choice, and He will not violate it. His love doesn’t shove or push, instead God’s love is pure and kind. It isn’t puffed up nor does His love seek revenge. But if we choose to practice darkness, if we play the game of deceit, then we give the devil the ammunition he needs to throw darts of darkness and deceit back at us; and his darts sting far worse than ours.

    When we turn away from God’s love through our actions, our lives begin to deteriorate rapidly, and unless we recognize this our lives will continue to spiral downward. You may ask yourself, “But why would God want His people to suffer?” God doesn’t cause pain and suffering, but He will allow it; and often it is a consequence for disobedience and sin.

    There are so many needless divorces out there because couples have refused or neglected to take responsibility for their actions and to be accountable for the hurt they’ve spearheaded by putting the wrong stuff out there. God’s laws dictate that if you keep doing the same things you’re doing; you’re going to keep getting the same things you’re getting. He wants us to know that if we don’t like the consequences we’re getting, we can utilize the power of His love to change them. This is a lesson that must be firmly etched in your heart and mind. When it is, you can have confidence that one day soon you’ll have a marriage where all things will continually work together for your family’s good. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “Actions and Consequences” written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t You See It?

    Don’t You See It?

    Isaiah 43:15-19(NLT)
    15 I am the Lord, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. 16 I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. 17 I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. 18 “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

    When was the last time you got excited…I mean goosebumps, stomach flip-flopping, jumping out of your skin excited? Do you know the Christian walk should provoke this kind of jubilance from us every day? Well it definitely should! If you’re not experiencing this, the next logical question is why aren’t you? We may not feel like skipping through fields of sunflowers every moment of the day, but we must identify this level of energy, vigor, and joy as God’s goal for us. Not only is it His goal that we remain in a constant state of joy, but He’s done everything that could possibly be done to make it available to us. It’s now our responsibility to reach out, grab it, and make it our own.

    It is easier to be depressed, upset, angry, and doubtful than to be excited about what God wants to do in your life, and most importantly, what He has already done. The things that God has promised us, He is willing, able, and ready to fulfill. What’s the hold up? It’s usually us. We are not believing Him in faith, but instead, we have trained our minds to wait with wishful thinking. We ask, “God, why don’t I have this? What’s wrong? Why are You taking so long?” Many of us are not exercising faith in God, or the things He’s promised.

    God is waiting on us to change, and the changes we need to make must be consistent with His Word. Faith begins in the mind. The mind is our thought-processing center, and God designed it to be very logical. We feed it data. It computes, programs, and then catalogs this data based on where we tell it to go. Does it go to faith? Does it go to fear? Does it go to work, play, family, chores…we tell it how to house and catalog the data we’ve allowed in its gateway. If we tell it to catalog data that isn’t logical or doesn’t make sense, the mind tells itself that we don’t really believe the data it’s received.

    Let me give you a visual of this as it relates to your faith. The mind knows that we will only act on data or knowledge we believe. So, your mind will not accept that you believe ‘God is good all the time and all the time God is good’ if you also believe He punishes you. You’ve already programmed your mind that punishment is bad, so it will not accept that good and bad are the same. Trying to believe this will cause you to be unstable, and you won’t be able to receive the results of faith that you desire, because you will not act upon something you don’t believe. It is equally true that you can’t desire the Will of God in your life for marriage, and not equally desire to walk in the purpose to which you’ve been called. If you believe in God’s Will for you, the evidence will be your attentiveness to do it.

    Romans 10:17(NLT) states, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” And James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. From these two powerful verses, you and I can gather that if our attitude doesn’t compute with faith and our actions don’t compute with faith, then faith is not going to come. This is a very simple statement of truth, but many are still perplexed about why they are not receiving the results of their faith.

    Aren’t’ you tired of just having a little bit of your needs met? Aren’t you tired of hitting and missing? If you have some habits you need to get rid of or put aside, why not just do it and get yourself aligned with faith. Let the Lord know that you want His power to emanate within you. You must want what God wants for your life.

    Ephesians 3:20 affirms that we serve a God that deals in the exceedingly abundantly. He goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think. Don’t expect to continue doing the same things and expect different results. See God bigger! He wants to do a new a new thing in your life, and you must do everything humanly possible to follow His lead.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t You See It?” written for Findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What to Do to Keep Him

    What to Do to Keep Him

    Some women consider solidifying a relationship with a man to be a very intense thing. An old saying goes something like this, “What you do to get him, you’ve got to do to keep him.” This relic from back in the day is chock full of all sorts of innuendo, some of it not so virtuous if you get my drift, but it still drives the mentality that a lot of women have around relationships with men. Recently, I’ve been reminded of some of the habit patterns spun from this kind of thinking, and not only does it do a number on a sister’s self-esteem, but it will drown a relationship in a sea of resentment and insecurity.

    There are not many feelings that compare to praying to receive something from God for an extended period, and then actually witnessing the manifestation of it. This is magnified exponentially when it comes to a blossoming romantic relationship. Problems creep in when we don’t hold to God’s standard, and acquiesce to what amounts to a flawed way of trying to maintain the blessing. Most of us have taken our cues from what we’ve seen in the past. We’ve looked at our mothers, aunts, cousins, and friends, and taken tidbits from them on how to handle certain situations. Believe it or not, many women are using television shows as a source of information and ‘how to’s’ for relationships and dating. A lot of this can be more harmful than helpful.

    2Peter 1:3(NIV) tells us, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” This verse is so awesome that it’s almost too much to take in. God has provided everything for a Godly life. The way that He has chosen to do this is to make His life-giving truth available to us through the bible. By learning about God and His goodness, we can live a more than abundant life that is enriched by His glory.

    This more than abundant life includes having a wonderful spouse that will love and honor us as God’s daughters. We don’t have to force anything, and we don’t have to feel as though we must manipulate, spy, or coerce; but often this is what we resort to, and we’ve figured out very cute ways of doing it.

    We will call or text a brother 15 times a day, and convince ourselves that we’re just being caring and supportive, when in fact we’re acting out of insecurity. We don’t even give him a chance to miss us. Some of us will chase a man down if we sense that he’s not where he’s supposed to be when he’s supposed to be there. You can’t have eggs this fragile, and then place all of them in the basket of a person that is incapable of keeping them intact. Fragile things get broken.

    You can call, text, and be on a man’s trail 24/7, but if you’re insecure and vulnerable in your heart, you are going to be disappointed at some point. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus Christ tells us how to sure up our hearts. He said we should love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. We are to love God with our everything. When our hearts are secure in God, and we are loving Him the way that His Word instructs us to, we will become strong in heart and spirit. We’ll be so immersed in God’s grace and glory that we won’t have time to chase after another person; we’re too busy chasing God.

    When it comes to handling and maintaining blessings, Heavenly Father has given us a framework of wisdom through His Word, and it is to seek Him in all things. This requires us to take our time, and to also be levelheaded enough to step back early in relationships, so that we can examine if it is the blessing we think it could be. We can dispense with the tricks and manipulations just to keep a man. All we have to do is trust the truth that God will bless us with someone that is honored to be with us, and everything that this brother does will reveal this to us in the most loving and secure way. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

     “What to Do to Keep Him”, written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • A Habit Pattern of Real Love

    A Habit Pattern of Real Love

    The definition of love is described as the ultimate expression of God’s loyalty, purity, grace, and mercy that is extended towards His people. It is to be reflected in human relationships of brotherly concern, marital fidelity, and adoration of God. You really can’t get any better than this. Heavenly Father desires that we, as His beloved sons and daughters, spiritually grow to the point that we are able to demonstrate His kind of love. 1Corinthians 13:7 (The Message) tells us the way that God’s kind of love behaves. It says, “Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.”

    I heard a story recently of a newly married couple that had not allowed themselves to be fully developed in God’s love. The man often told his wife that he loved her with all his heart, and that he felt his love for her deeply in his soul, but on occasions when he’d get upset, he would ignore her for days. He would not speak to her and would intentionally do things to hurt her feelings. She expressed such heavy disappointment in his behavior and said that she had not seen this characteristic in him before they married. Both of these individuals are Christians, and yet neither were prepared for the complexities that come with marrying someone who has idiosyncrasies that are contrary to the ways of Christ.

    Many of us are deceived, and do not realize the extent to which the enemy will attack a marital union. Spouses have very intimate information about each other; and therefore, have access to each other’s sorest and most vulnerable spots. When either of them allows the enemy to work through them in a heated argument or disagreement, the damage can cut deep, with wounds that are sometimes incredibly difficult to heal.

    It should be no surprise to any Christian that the devil will attempt to use a spouse to go for the jugular. As a single person that is praying to cross the path of your future spouse, this is one of the most important reasons you need to pray unyieldingly that you are prepared for marriage. It is crucial that you know the difference between God’s love—real love, and a counterfeit love, because not being able to discern the two will cost you.

    Any of us can tell a person all day long “I love you,” but the true story behind those words are found in what a person does, not so much in what they say. And we must be careful even about this element of distinction. Many sisters will take the smallest, most insignificant gesture from the object of their affection, and they will magnify it to make themselves comfortable with accepting less.

    The greatest way for you to measure the quality of love that you’ll receive in a marriage is to take a bold, in depth, and ridiculously honest look at the love you give. Ultimately the love you give is the measure of love that will come back to you. Luke 6:38 (NLT) says, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” As believers who love and adore our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we must develop a habit pattern of love, giving, and sharing prior to taking that walk down the aisle. We should be so comfortable with a daily commitment of loving action that marriage is just a natural and organic extension of the way you live.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
    “A Habit Pattern of Real Love”, written for findchristianman.com© 2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
  • Three Ways to Avoid an Emotional Tailspin

    Three Ways to Avoid an Emotional Tailspin

    Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I’ve always thought that this is a most profound piece of wisdom. It cuts right down to the meat of the matter. No one has power over you unless you give it to them. No one can make you feel inferior or be anything less than what you are unless you give away your authority in Christ Jesus. And so much of the time this is what happens with many women in relationships. We can become so infatuated with a man that all we see is the man and nothing else. Our world becomes wrapped around his thoughts, his feelings, and what he’s doing. We lose sight of everything else. Then, when he no longer respects the misplaced authority that we’ve handed over to him on a silver platter, we are left with deeply hurt feelings and a broken-heart. We trick ourselves into believing that our whole world is crumbling and falling apart, all because one human being has decided not to love us anymore. This is an absolute no-no! And I know that you know it and I know it too, but sometimes we need a refresher course. We need to remember that God made the heavens and the earth, and if we’re going to give over our hearts completely, it should only be to Him.

    A whole lot of us start out thinking that it could never happen to us, and then it does. We become so wrapped up in the emotions of a relationship that we lose all sight of its true and Godly purpose. It’s so important to really do a mental, emotional and, most importantly, spiritual checkup to ensure that you will not let this happen. If at all possible, the time to do this is when you’re unmarried, so that you can develop your own special scale for measuring the spiritual balance that God expects from every mature woman of faith; it’s your way of making sure that you are prioritizing your relationship with God above all else.

    Keep Your Daily Routines in Check
    In developing a spiritual checkup for your life, examining your daily routines is a really important step. When it comes to all the demands on our time from home, work, and friends, often we just barely squeeze our spiritual well-being in sideways. Some of us only think about it one day a week, but it is important to do something that builds your spiritual endurance and strength in Christ on a daily basis. Faith is a muscle—a muscle that must be exercised in order to remain flexible and strong. Whether it’s reading and studying the Word, meditating on the goodness of God, or praying for more than 15 or 20 minutes; all of these or some version of a combination should be practiced daily.

    Also understand that everything in your life right now is strategically positioned. The people, circumstances…your co-workers, church community, family, and band of friends—all are in your life on purpose. They provide opportunities for you to both be a blessing and receive a blessing. You want to make sure that you are getting your spiritual exercise in by spending time with the Lord daily; this is most important. But you also want to take time to sow those loving seeds of care into those who you love and who also love you.

    Place God’s Agenda before Your Agenda
    God said in Jeremiah 7:23 (NLT), “Obey me, and I will be your God, and you will be my people. Do everything as I say, and all will be well!” Heavenly Father has given us the gift and free-will. We make our own choices from day-to-day, and many people do this without so much as a thought regarding what God would have them to do. As born-again believers we cannot afford to live like that. We should awake each morning with a prayer on our lips, a prayer that seeks God for what we should do with our days. He holds our todays and tomorrows, and we need to check in with Him to ensure that we’re doing what He wants us to do, and not doing what He doesn’t want us to do.

    It’s when we do not do what God wants us to do that we run into serious trouble. We start letting others control us and usurp our power in Christ. We let others dictate how we feel and respond to situations, and this is not what God wants. This is when your life starts to get off track, because you are placing another person or situation over your commitment to do what you know God requires. If you do what God tells you to do, He will see to it that you are blessed with the kind of relationship you desire. He’ll take care of your happiness, and see to it that you have peace and joy.

    Balance Work, Rest, and Recreation
    Ecclesiastes 3:1(NLT) tells us, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” There is time for all the things that are important to us, but the things of God come first. Certainly in a marital relationship this is one of the most important truths of our lives. In order to sustain a good relationship, you cannot cease or diminish your responsibilities to be a blessing to the body of Christ. You may, however, need to change the way in which you carry those responsibilities out. The important thing to remember here is that God will help you to balance work, rest, and recreation.

    God is so pleased when we understand that we are only helped, and helped in the most advantageous ways, when we honor Him with our lives. This means that we dedicate ourselves to good work. James 3:13 (NLT) says “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.” Work is very important to God. You have to maintain a great work ethic in order to please Him, and it is clear from God’s Word that we need to spend more time working than we do resting. The way to keep this all in balance is to lean on God. When we do what He requires, He will take care of all the rest. He’ll take care of our schedules, making sure that we have enough time for work, rest, and recreation.

    Let me point you to a verse where one of the Word’s most magnificent pieces of truth just cuts right down to the chase. God says of Himself in Isaiah 66:1-3 (NLT) “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Could you build me a temple as good as that? Could you build me such a resting place? My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the LORD, have spoken! “I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word. But those who choose their own ways— delighting in their detestable sins— will not have their offerings accepted.”

    This passage in Isaiah 66 is awesome beyond words. God declared His identity. He is speaking to us, letting us know exactly who He is. He’s God, the Creator of the universe. He’s our Heavenly Father. He is the most majestic, the most powerful. He is the Beginning and the End. We cannot bring Him down to our levels—nothing and no one deserves more praise and honor than our loving Heavenly Father. We must rise to see Him as the Great, Big Wonderful Father that He is.

    God deserves to be number one in our lives. When a new man comes into your life, the things you do to demonstrate your reverence and honor for Heavenly Father should already be a habit pattern. The three, keeping your daily routines in check, placing God’s agenda in the number one spot, and balancing work, rest, and recreation, these are the things that honor God. They really ensure that you have the framework for maintaining your relationship with Him through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    As a mature Christian woman, you don’t want to wait until you’re in the thick of a relationship before you begin to think about these aspects of your spiritual life, you want to do it now. You want to make a commitment to maintain your spiritual well-being in Christ, and the only way to do this is by making sure that God is pleased. Then meeting your husband will not send your life into an emotional tailspin; it will be the blessing it is designed by God to be. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Three Ways to Avoid An Emotional Tail Spin” written for FindingChristianMan.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! 

  • Don’t Miss God’s Best

    Don’t Miss God’s Best

    I was in the city, walking downtown this week, and as I was crossing a very busy intersection, I crossed paths with a young woman that was totally consumed with a conversation on her cell phone. With her headphones on, she seemed to be oblivious to everything going on around her. I stared in amazement at how engaged she was, because cars were zooming back and forth, and she wasn’t concerned whatsoever. This kind of unmindful behavior can be very dangerous, particularly with so much happening in our world. I thought about this young woman later that day. It reminded me that this is the kind of opportunity the enemy waits for, when our focus is in the wrong direction, and we’re asleep and careless just as she had been. This is when many of us will walk right into traps unknowingly; especially when it comes to relationships with men.

    When we’re younger, we tend to take a carefree approach to life, but as we mature and get older, we see firsthand that things can change very quickly. A person’s world can be turned upside down in less time than the blink of an eye. God doesn’t want us to walk around in fear, but He does want us to be alert and aware.

    1Peter 5:8 (NIV) tells us, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Many single sisters are due for a season of supernatural blessings, the likes of which they have not experienced before. We’ve heard from great prophets, teachers, and preachers that the body as a whole is entering a period of accelerated increase on many fronts. The relationships we’ve been waiting on, the financial breakthroughs we’ve been praying to receive, the marital restorations and job promotions that we’ve been waiting patiently to embrace…these are all getting ready to burst through.

    The problem is that so many of us are still asleep. Our eyes are no more opened than they were two years ago. We’ve really got to do something about this, because mindfulness is one of the key ways in which Heavenly Father measures our ability to handle the blessings we seek. Not only must we prepare ourselves spiritually to receive, if we do not take care of the blessings we already have, like the man that hid his master’s silver in the ground rather than investing it, we may find ourselves in a position where they, too, will be taken away.

    God neither holds our blessings back nor takes them away. He has designed the universe in such a way that opportunities appear when we are ready to seize them. God’s people have prepared themselves through His Word, and they are poised to take possession, but there are still some of us that haven’t focused on God to the extent that we can recognize danger in our midst. 2 Corinthians 11:14 warns us that satan disguises himself as an angel of light. This alerts us to the fact that something that seems like a blessing can end up being a set up.

    2 Peter 1:10 (NLT) tells us, “So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. “As single Christian women, we must be more than confident that God is going to bless us with a wonderful husband, because He is absolutely going to do this, but we can’t be so caught up in what we want that we forget our allegiance to be dutiful and diligent to God.

    No matter how comfortable things may look and feel, don’t let your guard down. Don’t discount the fact that often things happen to us because we allow them to. Know that before your breakthrough comes, the enemy will seek to find out how far you are willing to move away from the foundation of Jesus Christ. Don’t take the bait. Don’t make the mistake of missing God’s best. Seek Him continually, diligently, and earnestly before you make investments of love and care in a new relationship. Wait on His divine directive and be willing to walk away if you don’t receive it. If you pay much closer attention to God and continue to make Him your focus, He will make sure that you don’t miss your blessing. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide. 

    “Don’t Miss God’s Best” written for FindingChristianMan.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Good Enough to Date But Not Good Enough to Marry

    Good Enough to Date But Not Good Enough to Marry

    Many in modern society think it’s an antiquated notion for a man to be careful with a woman’s feelings and only seek to have a relationship with a woman he considers worthy of marriage. Heavenly Father is not interested in our opinions regarding the laws and statues He has created. They are drenched in His love and for our overall benefit. God’s standard is very clear, and His directive to any man seeking a relationship with a woman is to treat every woman with honor. It’s brilliant instruction, because the honor bestowed to the woman will be reciprocated. She will honor the man. God designed us to function this way in relationships. We learn very succinctly how wonderfully He has designed unity to work, and we also cultivate a deep appreciation for the blessing of unity in our relationships.  

    When a man follows God’s standard of treating every woman with honor, he will never date two women at the same time. And as it relates to dating, he will endeavor to always be careful not to cause any emotional fractures to a woman’s heart. He will seek God to help him recognize the woman upon which he should invest his time, energy, and emotions. Seeking God is a requirement for everything in life, but it is especially important when pursuing and dating a potential partner. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God’s Kingdom and God’s righteousness first, and in so doing, blessings will be added to us. All of us should make the righteousness of God our goal for handling the pursuit of relationships.  

    I’ve personally known of situations involving two attractive, seemingly intelligent and well-suited people. They come together in a relationship, but ultimately the man just isn’t interested in making the woman his wife; and the woman was sure that he would be. Many women will want to continue the relationship under these circumstances, and will often pray for God to change the man’s heart. Heavenly Father is so loving and merciful to us, and His grace is amazing. But it is not wise on our part to ask God to help us continue to be dishonored.  

    When the man has not lived up to God’s standard of how he should honorably behave towards the woman he’s in a relationship with, we must be willing to see this for what it is. It is very likely that he does not consider her worthy to be wifey. It would be wise for us, as women, to listen to what the man’s action, or lack thereof, is communicating. It is a very hard thing to accept, but if the man’s opinion of a woman is that she is good enough to date but not good enough to marry, it is often unproductive for her to continue hoping for him to change.  

    1John 4:9-10(NLT) says, “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” We are the apple of God’s eye. He loves us with an unyielding, unconditional, and limitless love. He wants the best for us always. There is never a time that God doesn’t want things to go well for us. He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, so that we could become His children, and have His Spirit abiding within us. The gifts of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are the greatest gifts that could ever be given in all of eternity. God saw fit to impart these gifts onto us. Heavenly Father will not help us lower ourselves. He helps us to go higher in Christ, so that we can see ourselves the way He sees us.  

    Deep down a woman knows when she’s not being treated with the utmost honor and respect. When a relationship is in this condition, asking God to change the man’s heart means the woman has placed the emphasis on her perceived need for the man, and not on her need to see herself as deserving what God has for her. Spiritual maturity beckons us to grow beyond the practice of asking God to partner with our efforts to lower ourselves to the same level as a person’s low opinion of us.   

    1 Peter 3:7 The Message (MSG) says, “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.” Again, God instructs the man to behave with honor towards women, so that when he marries, this honor is organically expressed out of a habit pattern he’s built in his manhood. As women, when our good appreciation of ourselves meets the standard of the example of Christ, it is inevitable that we will meet a man that will equal our standard. It’s not about the man giving you what you believe you deserve, but about you partnering with a man that helps you both remain in God’s plan and purpose for your lives.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “Good Enough to Date but Not Good Enough to Marry” written for FindChristianMan.com©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” When you’re coming out of a relationship that didn’t go as expected, it can be really challenging to remain optimistic about your marital future. I was in this situation, and 2 Corinthians 12:9 really ministered to my heart. I was sure I’d marry the Christian man that I had known for a few years and truly loved. We got along great, but he held certain beliefs about women that wasn’t aligned with God’s Word. We were both very adamant about pursuing the Lord with our whole hearts, but even though we were Christians, we couldn’t get past this obstacle. He had received counsel and advice in this area that was completely different than what I believed God wanted for us as believers.

    This period in my life was one of those times that I questioned God a lot. I asked the same thing that many Christian women ask when it comes to getting their hearts smashed, “God, why did You let this happen to me?” I was sure this relationship would work out and that we’d walk hand in hand through life.  The man that I thought would be my husband is such a gentle and caring man. He has the most compassionate heart of any person I had ever met. Most of the pieces seemed to fit, but there were certain areas—very important areas—where he was unwilling to compromise. In a relationship, sometimes this quality can make the other person feel like they are enslaved by four unmovable and impenetrable walls. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

    I felt exactly as the Psalmist described in Jeremiah 8:18(NLT) “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken.” There was no meeting half-way between the two of us. He was not going to budge and allow the Spirit to really minister to his heart, and I felt that he should have. I was torn and conflicted. I began to regret that we had met, and my mind drifted to doubt and dismay. It wasn’t until I was able to hear God’s strong Word come through the mouths of wise, Godly women that I began to see clearly.

    One of the reasons I was so hurt is that when it all boiled down to it, this man had been taught something that I knew wasn’t biblical, and he was not willing to release it. On one hand, I witnessed his incredible compassion and kindness, and on the other hand I saw stubbornness on a level I had never seen. It really hurt my feelings to see that his love for me was not as strong as mine was for him. No matter how I tried to spin it, this is what it came down to.

    There can be power in the pain. You’re not really thinking about this when you’re going through tough times. You just want the pain to stop and to get through the situation without feeling as though you’re losing more of yourself. The truth is that there is always going to be triumph after pain for the Christian. You’re going to know more, be stronger, and most importantly you will be better prepared for the right opportunity when it comes along.

    I saw with my own two eyes the damage wrong believing can do, even to those who are Christians. I saw how it immobilizes a person when they refuse to grow and know more, and how it causes them to be stuck in all kinds of ways. Because I cared so deeply for this man, and was totally emotionally invested, I could have continued trying to hang on to something I knew in my heart was not going to work. I’m so thankful that I let it go, and did so without bitterness in my heart.

    I knew the truth of God’s Word, and it will never, ever let us down. I grabbed on to Jesus Christ with all the strength within me, and I trusted that my latter days would be greater than my former. I leaned on Jesus Christ to get me through, and he did not disappoint me.

    Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deserves to be the head of our lives. He can carry the weight of our pain, and turn it into victory. This is why he tells us in Matthew 11:30(NLT), “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” He is our burden-bearer, and we need to be patient as his power strengthens our weaknesses. Pain is a calling card for change, and we have to stop ignoring the signal, because it lets us know that we are undermining ourselves, and not loving ourselves as Christ loves us. We’re accepting something that isn’t a part of our destinies, even though we may have been sure at one time that it was.

    So if you are holding on to something that makes you feel bad about your life or yourself, make the decision to let God show up for you. It may feel uncomfortable letting go, but you’ll soon feel a sense of relief because you’re trusting God to be your sufficiency. He will ALWAYS take care of you, and shower you with His goodness and mercy. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would”, written by K.Y. Renee for Findchristianman.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    You didn’t just all of a sudden decide to be God’s child. He handpicked you out before you were even in your mother’s womb. He purposed your existence before the foundation of the world. This mind-blowing piece of revelation isn’t news to you I’m sure, because Ephesians 1:5, 11 confirms it in God’s Word. You have a purpose, and because of this purpose within God’s Plan and Will, there have been certain things that haven’t come easy for you. You might even feel as though you’ve had more than your fair share of struggle and opposition. There may have been more people working against you than those that have worked with you, and you can’t understand why everything has to be so difficult at times. Why is it that you continue to endure hardships through the wait, and your breakthrough still hasn’t happened?

    It is no secret that your breakthrough and purpose are connected. God has goals for each of us, and one of His greatest goals is for truth to become the prominent part of our nature. He wants His Word to so permeate our brain cells and hearts that when we enter a room, the first thing that people see is the Christ in us. There’s a process to this. The reason why we know it is a process is because we are not all that we are going to be at the point we first confess and give our lives to Christ. There is still yet caboodles of spiritual yumminess that we have to put on mentally and behaviorally as we journey forward in Christ.

    The one thing that you must know with every fiber in your being is that the answer to the question “Where is my breakthrough?” is contained in the piece of truth that you have yet to put on in your mind and heart. You can deny this, neglect it, and refuse to do anything about it, but every single occurrence in your life will bring you back to this reality. There is no denying that you have gained biblical knowledge and spiritual know-how over the years. This is in your arsenal right now, but as it relates to the breakthrough blessing that you are seeking for your life, there’s a specific truth that you haven’t yet comprehended on the deepest level. You haven’t comprehended it on a level that spearheads a transformation that is required for the blessing you seek.

    It isn’t God’s desire that we suffer and struggle, but some of us go through it so much longer than we need to because we won’t seek God with all of our hearts, strength, souls, and minds for this particular piece of spiritual armor. His grace and mercy covers us through the struggle, but it doesn’t remove from us the responsibility to seek. It is our obligation to prove to Heavenly Father that we can handle the heft of the blessing we desire. We’re more than conquerors, and Jesus Christ has already told us in Luke 12:48(KJV) that “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” The ‘much’ that is required is continued spiritual growth in the Holy Spirit.

    You are so close to the breakthrough you’ve been praying to receive. Continue to pray for revelation regarding your purpose, and pay very close attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. You are rising higher in faith, patience, and endurance. Very soon, your purpose and breakthrough will intersect, and not only will you receive the blessing you’ve been praying about, but most importantly,  you will have a greater intimacy in your relationship with Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    “When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect” written for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!