Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I’ve always thought that this is a most profound piece of wisdom. It cuts right down to the meat of the matter. No one has power over you unless you give it to them. No one can make you feel inferior or be anything less than what you are unless you give away your authority in Christ Jesus. And so much of the time this is what happens with many women in relationships. We can become so infatuated with a man that all we see is the man and nothing else. Our world becomes wrapped around his thoughts, his feelings, and what he’s doing. We lose sight of everything else. Then, when he no longer respects the misplaced authority that we’ve handed over to him on a silver platter, we are left with deeply hurt feelings and a broken-heart. We trick ourselves into believing that our whole world is crumbling and falling apart, all because one human being has decided not to love us anymore. This is an absolute no-no! And I know that you know it and I know it too, but sometimes we need a refresher course. We need to remember that God made the heavens and the earth, and if we’re going to give over our hearts completely, it should only be to Him.
A whole lot of us start out thinking that it could never happen to us, and then it does. We become so wrapped up in the emotions of a relationship that we lose all sight of its true and Godly purpose. It’s so important to really do a mental, emotional and, most importantly, spiritual checkup to ensure that you will not let this happen. If at all possible, the time to do this is when you’re unmarried, so that you can develop your own special scale for measuring the spiritual balance that God expects from every mature woman of faith; it’s your way of making sure that you are prioritizing your relationship with God above all else.
Keep Your Daily Routines in Check
In developing a spiritual checkup for your life, examining your daily routines is a really important step. When it comes to all the demands on our time from home, work, and friends, often we just barely squeeze our spiritual well-being in sideways. Some of us only think about it one day a week, but it is important to do something that builds your spiritual endurance and strength in Christ on a daily basis. Faith is a muscle—a muscle that must be exercised in order to remain flexible and strong. Whether it’s reading and studying the Word, meditating on the goodness of God, or praying for more than 15 or 20 minutes; all of these or some version of a combination should be practiced daily.
Also understand that everything in your life right now is strategically positioned. The people, circumstances…your co-workers, church community, family, and band of friends—all are in your life on purpose. They provide opportunities for you to both be a blessing and receive a blessing. You want to make sure that you are getting your spiritual exercise in by spending time with the Lord daily; this is most important. But you also want to take time to sow those loving seeds of care into those who you love and who also love you.
Place God’s Agenda before Your Agenda
God said in Jeremiah 7:23 (NLT), “Obey me, and I will be your God, and you will be my people. Do everything as I say, and all will be well!” Heavenly Father has given us the gift and free-will. We make our own choices from day-to-day, and many people do this without so much as a thought regarding what God would have them to do. As born-again believers we cannot afford to live like that. We should awake each morning with a prayer on our lips, a prayer that seeks God for what we should do with our days. He holds our todays and tomorrows, and we need to check in with Him to ensure that we’re doing what He wants us to do, and not doing what He doesn’t want us to do.
It’s when we do not do what God wants us to do that we run into serious trouble. We start letting others control us and usurp our power in Christ. We let others dictate how we feel and respond to situations, and this is not what God wants. This is when your life starts to get off track, because you are placing another person or situation over your commitment to do what you know God requires. If you do what God tells you to do, He will see to it that you are blessed with the kind of relationship you desire. He’ll take care of your happiness, and see to it that you have peace and joy.
Balance Work, Rest, and Recreation
Ecclesiastes 3:1(NLT) tells us, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” There is time for all the things that are important to us, but the things of God come first. Certainly in a marital relationship this is one of the most important truths of our lives. In order to sustain a good relationship, you cannot cease or diminish your responsibilities to be a blessing to the body of Christ. You may, however, need to change the way in which you carry those responsibilities out. The important thing to remember here is that God will help you to balance work, rest, and recreation.
God is so pleased when we understand that we are only helped, and helped in the most advantageous ways, when we honor Him with our lives. This means that we dedicate ourselves to good work. James 3:13 (NLT) says “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.” Work is very important to God. You have to maintain a great work ethic in order to please Him, and it is clear from God’s Word that we need to spend more time working than we do resting. The way to keep this all in balance is to lean on God. When we do what He requires, He will take care of all the rest. He’ll take care of our schedules, making sure that we have enough time for work, rest, and recreation.
Let me point you to a verse where one of the Word’s most magnificent pieces of truth just cuts right down to the chase. God says of Himself in Isaiah 66:1-3 (NLT) “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Could you build me a temple as good as that? Could you build me such a resting place? My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the LORD, have spoken! “I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word. But those who choose their own ways— delighting in their detestable sins— will not have their offerings accepted.”
This passage in Isaiah 66 is awesome beyond words. God declared His identity. He is speaking to us, letting us know exactly who He is. He’s God, the Creator of the universe. He’s our Heavenly Father. He is the most majestic, the most powerful. He is the Beginning and the End. We cannot bring Him down to our levels—nothing and no one deserves more praise and honor than our loving Heavenly Father. We must rise to see Him as the Great, Big Wonderful Father that He is.
God deserves to be number one in our lives. When a new man comes into your life, the things you do to demonstrate your reverence and honor for Heavenly Father should already be a habit pattern. The three, keeping your daily routines in check, placing God’s agenda in the number one spot, and balancing work, rest, and recreation, these are the things that honor God. They really ensure that you have the framework for maintaining your relationship with Him through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
As a mature Christian woman, you don’t want to wait until you’re in the thick of a relationship before you begin to think about these aspects of your spiritual life, you want to do it now. You want to make a commitment to maintain your spiritual well-being in Christ, and the only way to do this is by making sure that God is pleased. Then meeting your husband will not send your life into an emotional tailspin; it will be the blessing it is designed by God to be. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Three Ways to Avoid An Emotional Tail Spin” written for FindingChristianMan.com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!