When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” When you’re coming out of a relationship that didn’t go as expected, it can be really challenging to remain optimistic about your marital future. I was in this situation, and 2 Corinthians 12:9 really ministered to my heart. I was sure I’d marry the Christian man that I had known for a few years and truly loved. We got along great, but he held certain beliefs about women that wasn’t aligned with God’s Word. We were both very adamant about pursuing the Lord with our whole hearts, but even though we were Christians, we couldn’t get past this obstacle. He had received counsel and advice in this area that was completely different than what I believed God wanted for us as believers.

This period in my life was one of those times that I questioned God a lot. I asked the same thing that many Christian women ask when it comes to getting their hearts smashed, “God, why did You let this happen to me?” I was sure this relationship would work out and that we’d walk hand in hand through life.  The man that I thought would be my husband is such a gentle and caring man. He has the most compassionate heart of any person I had ever met. Most of the pieces seemed to fit, but there were certain areas—very important areas—where he was unwilling to compromise. In a relationship, sometimes this quality can make the other person feel like they are enslaved by four unmovable and impenetrable walls. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

I felt exactly as the Psalmist described in Jeremiah 8:18(NLT) “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken.” There was no meeting half-way between the two of us. He was not going to budge and allow the Spirit to really minister to his heart, and I felt that he should have. I was torn and conflicted. I began to regret that we had met, and my mind drifted to doubt and dismay. It wasn’t until I was able to hear God’s strong Word come through the mouths of wise, Godly women that I began to see clearly.

One of the reasons I was so hurt is that when it all boiled down to it, this man had been taught something that I knew wasn’t biblical, and he was not willing to release it. On one hand, I witnessed his incredible compassion and kindness, and on the other hand I saw stubbornness on a level I had never seen. It really hurt my feelings to see that his love for me was not as strong as mine was for him. No matter how I tried to spin it, this is what it came down to.

There can be power in the pain. You’re not really thinking about this when you’re going through tough times. You just want the pain to stop and to get through the situation without feeling as though you’re losing more of yourself. The truth is that there is always going to be triumph after pain for the Christian. You’re going to know more, be stronger, and most importantly you will be better prepared for the right opportunity when it comes along.

I saw with my own two eyes the damage wrong believing can do, even to those who are Christians. I saw how it immobilizes a person when they refuse to grow and know more, and how it causes them to be stuck in all kinds of ways. Because I cared so deeply for this man, and was totally emotionally invested, I could have continued trying to hang on to something I knew in my heart was not going to work. I’m so thankful that I let it go, and did so without bitterness in my heart.

I knew the truth of God’s Word, and it will never, ever let us down. I grabbed on to Jesus Christ with all the strength within me, and I trusted that my latter days would be greater than my former. I leaned on Jesus Christ to get me through, and he did not disappoint me.

Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deserves to be the head of our lives. He can carry the weight of our pain, and turn it into victory. This is why he tells us in Matthew 11:30(NLT), “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” He is our burden-bearer, and we need to be patient as his power strengthens our weaknesses. Pain is a calling card for change, and we have to stop ignoring the signal, because it lets us know that we are undermining ourselves, and not loving ourselves as Christ loves us. We’re accepting something that isn’t a part of our destinies, even though we may have been sure at one time that it was.

So if you are holding on to something that makes you feel bad about your life or yourself, make the decision to let God show up for you. It may feel uncomfortable letting go, but you’ll soon feel a sense of relief because you’re trusting God to be your sufficiency. He will ALWAYS take care of you, and shower you with His goodness and mercy. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would”, written by K.Y. Renee for Findchristianman.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!


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