Find A Christian Man

Tag: Devotions for Single Women

Seeking After an Empty Well

“Was I a fool for dating him for so many years?” This is a question we ask ourselves after we’ve been with the significant man in our lives for a long time, and the relationship isn’t yielding anything promising. We’ve either been in this situation or know women that have. They’ve dated a man for years, and given so much of themselves to that relationship, but with all their dedication, commitment, and loyalty, marriage isn’t on the horizon. This is a very hurtful thing to face. We’re hit with some realizations that we’ve avoided for the sake of maintaining the relationship. One of them is that no matter how much we try to convince ourselves we don’t need a piece of paper to prove his love, if we desire something real, that piece of paper is a symbol that can’t be overlooked.

Amos 3:3(NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” A relationship is strengthened by an agreement, and this agreement is a harmony that binds two people together. At the very least, the man should feel the same way about you as you feel about him. As those feelings of affection and devotion deepen, it should lead to something that honors God and is fulfilling and meaningful for both individuals. We should never think that God is pleased when we are not treated in a way that honors us in the way He has ordained in His Word. We’re His daughters, and he wants us to be treated well, and having a husband who loves and values us is a part of that equation.

Sometimes, when we give our best and it’s not reciprocated, we can be wounded deeply, like the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4. She was plagued with feelings of shame, insecurity, and self-doubt, and this caused her to go from man to man seeking to satisfy a void that only God could fill. As was the custom of many women that lived during that time, she came to draw water from a well in the hottest part of the day. As God would have it, Jesus was there, and he asked her for a drink. John 4:9-10(NLT) tells us, “9 The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” 10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

Of course, Jesus Christ knew all about her pain and her sin, but he was concerned about her salvation and deliverance. He said to her in John 4:16-18(NLT), “16 Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her. 17 “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband– 18 for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” Our Master Jesus didn’t speak these words to the Samaritan woman to condemn her; he did it to cut through the lies, shame, heartbreak, and disappointment so that he could speak the deliverance of truth into her brokenness.

In Ephesians 5:25(NLT), God commands, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Marriage is extremely important, and we should never believe the lie that it isn’t. That piece of paper, a marriage license, is so important because among many other things, it’s a public declaration of a man’s commitment to honor a woman in the eyes of God. Every woman that loves God deserves to be honored in this way. So, we should never allow anyone to make us feel anything other than privileged and thankful that God has given us this beautiful institution.

Being consumed and distracted by the desires and lies of the world will only leave us seeking after an empty well. Only the Lord Jesus can give us living water that fills us up to such a degree that we will never be thirsty again. If you’re disappointed and hurt because the significant man in your life doesn’t want marriage, take it all to Jesus Christ. Don’t allow insecurity, doubt, and the fear of loneliness to blind your faith. God loves you and He wants you to be loved and honored because you’re His daughter. Do everything you can to increase your faith in this so that you only want what God wants for you. Then you will be determined to never accept anything less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Seeking After an Empty Well”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 18, 2025
Hurting for Love

Philippians 4:7-8(NLT)
“7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Do you know anyone that says they only think about things that are true, honorable, right, lovely, excellent, and pure? If you do, that person is someone you should absolutely love being around. They’ve got the right attitude and when this level of humility and obedience is their commitment, their inspiration is infectious. They understand that their mind and heart are very valuable instruments when they are used for our Father’s glory. He tells us in Proverbs 4:23(ESV), “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” He tells us in Romans 12:2 that we should not be conformed to the customs, cultures, and traditions of this world, but instead we must be transformed by the renewal of our minds. So, we can see very clearly that changing our thoughts and lining them up with the mind of Christ is required to keep our lives blessed and pleasing to God.

When life is going well, we rarely consider that we might need to make some changes to how we think and feel. When things are peachy, an attitude adjustment is the furthest thing from our minds. Often, it’s not until trouble hits, or answers to our prayers are delayed, that we might begin to look in the mirror. Even then, some of us refuse to accept the reality of what is staring back at us. We refuse to accept that our own thoughts and attitudes may be holding us back.

When life becomes a sour reality, it’s often a signal that change is upon us. It’s time to take an internal inventory, and this is not always an easy thing to do. Our behaviors in our previous relationships comes front and center. Perhaps we were overly sensitive, argumentative, or petty in some areas. Thoughts of jealousy and insecurity could have loomed large over many of those relationships, yet, we expect the reward of another one when those issues of the heart and mind were not resolved.

Our Heavenly Father tells us in Colossians 3:2(ESV), “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” This isn’t a suggestion. It’s a directive. God is not telling us to change our thought-life just so that we can get a man. He’s commanding us to change our behaviors, attitudes, and thoughts to those of Christ because doing so brings us closer to Him. Doing so allows us to mature in spiritual strength and stamina, and we desperately need to do this for our journey further in the Lord.

Too many of us miss the message that God is sending because we’re not paying attention to our internal reality. We’re looking for God to do something on the outside when we haven’t invited Him to do a work on the inside. We haven’t prayed as David did in Psalm 51:10(KJV), “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” We should continually pray this prayer. We’re neglecting our relationship with God because we’re not being obedient to what He says. Nothing is more injurious to our well-being than ignoring and neglecting to love God in the way He requires.

We’re hurting ourselves spiritually for the love of a man we don’t even have. This is not walking in faith. Many of us are starving for love and attention from a man, and we’re completely forgetting about establishing and maintaining an intimate relationship with God. Sometimes this is the thing that keeps us stagnant and dissatisfied, and it has to change.

Jesus Christ commanded in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Nothing less than this is acceptable. We must follow the example of Jesus Christ and think Godly thoughts. We must have a good attitude, and make time to pray, read and study God’s Word. Committing to these spiritual practices in Christ means that we’re prioritizing our spiritual growth in a way that pleases God. So, let’s stop hurting ourselves for love, and focus on the One who is love, because this is the key to living a blessed life. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Hurting for Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 11, 2025
What’s Behind the Open Door?

Revelation 3:7-8(NLT)
“7 This is the message from the one who is holy and true, the one who has the key of David. What he opens, no one can close; and what he closes, no one can open: 8 I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close.”

Our Heavenly Father has no equal. When we approach Him in prayer, it is very important that this truth is in our hearts and minds. Revelation 3:7 prepares us to receive a message from Him, the One that is holy, true, majestic, magnificent, loving, all-powerful, all-knowing, and perfect in every way. This is who God is. There is none that compares to Him and He is truly in a class all by Himself. God is righteous and pure, and He has the key of David.

This passage in Revelation 3:7-8 takes us back to the Old Testament, to the kingship of David, the king chosen by God to govern His people. Our Heavenly Father was always on King David’s mind. This man was not perfect. David made some big mistakes, but he honored the Lord and regarded his every move as ones the Father was watching. God saw King David as a friend, and there is no greater distinction for any human being than that. In King David’s palace, Eliakim was over everything and took care of household matters. He was the keyholder in the palace and had the full authority to act on behalf of the king. If Eliakim locked a door, no one besides the king could take it upon themselves to open it. If he unlocked a door, it was understood that this room could be entered.

On the throne of the One who is holy and true, Jesus Christ holds the key. He’s the One who opens and shuts doors. He controls everything, and we must understand this. In our time, people will worship just about anyone and anything. They worship false gods, and these false gods hold the keys to doors that lead to darkness, destruction, and death. People worship the earth, sun, moon, and stars. They worship angels and make idols of people and just about everything else, but children of God should never be tricked or fooled by the devil in this way. Jesus Christ is the One who holds the key to liberty, light, and life. He gives it to those who worship the One True Living God through him, because they know that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life.

In Deuteronomy 18:9(ESV), our Heavenly Father told His people living in Old Testament times, “When you come into the land that the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominable practices of those nations.” God’s mind has not changed about this. Aiming to meet the man that will one day be their spouses, many single women are trying to open the wrong doors. They are participating in practices and methodologies that do not please God or honor His holiness and sovereignty. Those practices will not lead to truth, liberty, light, and life, and they will not produce any fruit in our lives. Of course, we all desire newness and bounty, and we want to go higher in life, but we must understand that there are some doors we should never attempt to open because they lead to darkness and despair. We should only want to open one door, and that door is Jesus Christ.

The psalmist, King David, prayed to God in Psalm 139:1-8(NLT), “1 O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! 7 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.”

There can be no doubt in our minds that our Heavenly Father knows us through and through. He knows our character. He examines our secret motives, and He knows what is at the root of our desire to meet a man. He knows everything there is to know about what we need, what we desire, and what is best for us. We must come to our senses and realize that He alone knows the opportunities that are best suited for us. Sometimes we must learn this the hard way, but it is never good to open a door that doesn’t lead to Christ. God will not support our choice to dabble in idolatry, so let’s not do that. Pray to God through Jesus Christ only. Make wise decisions about who you date, and spend your time as a single woman growing and increasing in your faith in God. Then you’ll recognize the door that Christ has opened up for you, and you’ll have the wisdom, spiritual strength, and faith to walk through it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“What’s Behind the Open Door?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 4, 2025
Do You Truly Believe You’re A Treasure?

Ephesians 5:33(NLT)
“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

A friend said to me not too long ago that one of the qualities she looks for in a man is that he’s chivalrous and always opens her car door. I remarked that her eyes should be on whether his heart is open towards God, forget about your car door. If a man’s heart is closed towards our Heavenly Father, it won’t matter if he’s chivalrous or not, because he’s not going to love you the way God wants him to unless he loves God.

Jesus Christ told those who refused to receive him and the Gospel in John 5:40-42(NLT), “40 Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life. 41 Your approval means nothing to me, 42 because I know you don’t have God’s love within you.” Like those who refused the love of Jesus Christ in this passage, there are also many men living today who fit this description. They have no interest in learning about God or worshiping Him. Partnering with men like this can be very dangerous business.

Our Heavenly Father made men and women different in ways that complement each other beautifully. Some men understand this and honor it. They want to be the kind of man and husband that honors God, but there are some that just look the part. They have no desire to meet God’s standard and love you in the way that He commands. As a single woman of faith, it is so important that you know the difference and can discern between the two, because making a wrong choice can greatly impact your future, and more importantly, it can greatly impact your relationship with Heavenly Father.

1Corinthians 10:31(NLT) says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This verse isn’t a suggestion. It’s a directive. It’s instruction about how God wants us to live. As women of faith, we should know that the bottom can fall out of a marriage before it even begins if a man has no interest in the Rock of our Salvation. Children of God must be interested in giving Him glory, and we most assuredly must be focused on giving Him glory through our marriages.

Proverbs 18:22(NLT) says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” This verse makes it clear that our Heavenly Father intends that a wife is a man’s treasure. It also affirms that God has made us, His daughters, that treasure. We must ask ourselves if we truly believe we are one. If we do, then we must also believe that God’s plan is that we will be to a man all that He has ordained us to be, and vice versa. Wisdom demands that we understand that our holy, righteous, and perfect Heavenly Father would not present a treasure to a man who doesn’t know Him. It behooves us to be very clear about this.

As a married couple who honors God through Christ, the intimacy we share with Heavenly Father, and the reverence we have for Him, will bind our marital unions with deep and abiding respect, loyalty, and love. Having this kind of strong marriage is not something we can leave to chance or compromise. So, be committed to do things God’s way. Let your prayers be focused on how you can align your desires for marriage with God’s Will for your life and the life of your future husband. Don’t wait. Do what the Lord requires of you now. Put Him first in your life, because pleasing Him will lead to a successful union that is glued together through the love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Truly Believe You’re A Treasure?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 28, 2025
If He Would Only Ask Me

Psalm 31:15(NLT)
“My future is in your hands.”

The Words of the psalmist in Psalm 31:15 are very simply spoken, but they are meaty and levy a giant piece of wisdom for living a more than abundant life through Jesus Christ. This verse is about trusting God as our Source and Sufficiency. He alone holds our future in His hands, and we must trust that He wants the best for us infinitely more than we want it for ourselves. Our faith in God and our love for Him must outweigh our loneliness. It must be greater than our need for companionship, and higher than our desire to be loved by a man. For some women, this is a stretch too far. They don’t want to hear it. They’ve been praying for too long, and to them, the length of their prayers proves their devotion to Heavenly Father. “What more can He require?” they think to themselves. The thing about faith is that we’re not the ones to decide when it is firmly placed in God. He’s the only One who knows our hearts, and this is a truth we must face.

God requires total trust in the reality that our futures are in His hands. For some of us, this is challenging because marriage is something that we greatly desire. We want to be a wife to someone really special to us and share our lives with him. This isn’t complicated and surely God wants to bless us in this area of our lives, but we have to remember that He is a God of order. He has told us in His Word that He wants us to grow spiritually and become more and more like Christ. He said in 2Peter 3:18(NLT), “you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” This is God’s priority for us, and everything else is secondary to it.

In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the greatest commandment and all the other laws hang upon this one. Loving God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength is loving Him with all that we are. Even though some of us have been on this Christian journey for a long while, we still don’t have a clear vision of what it looks like to love God this way. Some of us are still holding on to something in our hearts that keeps us from fully loving God. And whether we admit it or not, deep down we’re looking for the new man in our lives to complete us.

For many of us, there were times in the past when our actions conveyed that we put the man in our lives above our allegiance to God, and this is a problem for us as we attempt to have unshakable faith. Our faith in God must be expressed through our love for Him, but right now, many of us are far from this in our minds and hearts. “If he would only ask me…” reverberates from our hearts, because we want to be connected to a spouse. We want to be loved. Rest assured that our Heavenly Father knows this. He’s the One that gave us this desire, so He knows what we’re going through. He also knows that we’re not as spiritually strong as we think we are. We’re still willing to let our relationship with Heavenly Father fall to second place, and this kind of attitude will bring disaster in the long run.

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(ESV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Again, there’s a place within the heart of every single woman that tells God where we stand in our devotion to Him. Faith comes from that place, and if it is not fully persuaded and sold out to God, He is asking us to seek Him, and to ask Him to do a work within our hearts through His precious Holy Spirit. God must be our strength and greatest love, because this is the only way to be blessed. He wants to help us be strong in that place in our hearts, so that we can stand on the authority and power of His Word. Then when satan tries to attack our marital unions, we will have the spiritual strength to guard against it by standing with the Spirit’s sword, back to back with our husbands.

Our Master Jesus said in John 15:16-17(NLT), “16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.” Jesus Christ makes it clear who is in control. We did not choose him first, but he chose us, and we were chosen for God’s purpose. The Father is always willing to bless us and do so abundantly, but there’s a condition to the promise He’s made us. We must bear fruit, the kind that remains. The only kind of fruit that remains is the kind that is produced from the love of Christ. It’s sharing the Gospel and doing the kind of good works that will please God.

If we have a history of not bearing much fruit—the kind of fruit that lasts, that’s an issue that must be addressed with our Heavenly Father. Some of us are expecting the promise but have not met God’s requirement. It’s time to set our focus not on a relationship with a man but on our relationship with God. Often, not loving Him with all that we are is the thing that keeps our blessing from our reach. Rather than thinking, “if he would only ask me to marry him,” we need to think about the reality that God has asked us to love and seek Him first, and when He sees this kind of love for Him in our hearts, doors will open and we will be ready to walk through them.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“If He Would Only Ask Me”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 21, 2025
You Won’t Be Disappointed

Mark 11:23-24(NKJV)
“23 For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. 24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Many single women of every race and socioeconomic background desire a good man, and they are willing to go the distance to secure this blessing for their lives. It used to be that meeting someone new would happen at the frequent and familiar places in a person’s life, like the grocery store, church, gym, or work. Of course, this can still happen, but nowadays, meeting someone at your fingertips through the speed of internet dating is more common. Along with this, there are also many other options out there that give us quick access to eligible bachelors, but the reality is that often, the disappointments can be as plentiful as the opportunities those options present. This is the downside we sometimes neglect to consider.

Heartbreak and disappointment have become so common in significant relationships that we almost expect them to happen, and some of us consider it an enigma when neither of them occurs. As women, our radars are always up because we expect infidelity and all the pain that comes with it. So, even though we look all cool, calm, and collected, our guards are always up. We’ve become adept at surveillance and monitoring, because we’re always on the lookout for stuff that might cause heartache down the road. We bring this with us when we meet someone new, and we remain on alert during dating. We’re looking for any evidence that might come back to hurt us.

This is the learned behavior of fear. We either saw it in the women around us, or we picked it up after being heartbroken so many times ourselves. When this is our mode of operating, we never give faith a chance. It’s the same ol’ story. We begin with fear, we end with fear. We’ve got to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:33-34(NLT), “33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Fear can make an entrance in a relationship when we don’t live in the present but worry about what is going to happen to us in the future. It’s an inevitability when we choose to bypass God’s way and begin to seek out potential candidates for dating and marriage ourselves. This is a risk that can lead to disappointment because we are not walking by faith but taking matters into our own hands. Some women might vehemently deny that they are doing this. They will say they are doing what is necessary to back their faith. If our commitment is to back our faith with good works, the best way to do this is to seek God and allow Him to take care of all the details while we continue to be a blessing to others.

Our faith must be firmly planted in the reality that God is in control. Our lives belong to Him, and He knows the plans He has for us. Our Heavenly Father never makes mistakes. Matthew 6:33 affirms that seeking God first is paramount, and if we’re seeking Him, we won’t have room to seek anyone else. He alone deserves our total focus, and when this is where our hearts campout, He promises to supply all our needs, including a partner to walk with us through life.

God’s blessings are pleasant and good for us. When He adds greater blessings to your life, you won’t be disappointed. You won’t need to be on guard about whether you will be left in a worse predicament for having received it. Nor will you need to question whether it is right for you. Jeremiah 17:7-8(ESV) declares, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Our Heavenly Father will bless us according to His divine Will. If we place our trust in His provision and do what He says to fulfill our call, our spouses will cross our paths, and our marriages will continually be fruitful and blessed.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“You Won’t Be Disappointed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 14, 2025
Your Happiness in God Alone

1Corinthians 7:38-40(NLT)
“So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. 39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 40 But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”

After reading this passage, you might come away thinking that God prefers that believers remain single, but this isn’t the case. While it’s true that there are many advantages to remaining single, there are just as many to the ministry of marriage. God has given us free-will, and we get to choose which one is right for the kind of life we want to live. The Apostle Paul’s counsel in 1Corinthians 7:38-40 goes to the heart of our purpose as children of God and brothers and sisters of Christ. He’s instructing us about both service to God as well as marriage, and there’s no question that in this passage, he is prioritizing service to our Heavenly Father.

King Solomon affirms the importance of prioritizing our relationship and responsibilities to God in Ecclesiastes 12:13(NLT). He said, “That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty.” This is the Will of God for us, but we have allowed the pull of all the distractions of modern times to occupy our minds and hearts. We live in a very different time and our culture is far away from the kind of dedication and honor towards God that believers had two thousand years ago. Worship, praise, and service to our Heavenly Father was not only their lifestyle, they viewed it as their livelihood, occupation, and recreation. Many of us haven’t quite seen it this way.

In several of the epistles, Paul refers to himself as a slave to God and to Jesus Christ. He was fully persuaded in the Lord and dedicated his entire life to serving God. Today, our schedules are packed, and our agendas are to work and take care of all the many things on our plates. The truth that God teaches us through Paul is that it’s better to simplify our lives as much as possible, so that our walk with Heavenly Father is unencumbered with the cares of the world.

Marriage will bring new complexities and complications. Because our hearts are so heavily invested, these can potentially take our focus off God and off the business of His Kingdom. When this happens, our relationship with Heavenly Father, our faith, and our spiritual growth can slip to second place. This will cause further unhappiness because God is the glue that holds a marriage together, and our relationship with Him must be prioritized correctly. He tells us to put Jesus Christ in the highest place of leadership in the marriage. When this isn’t done, and we take our focus off Jesus, things begin to unravel.

All of us have probably known women that are unhappy being single. They want to meet someone and fall in love. When this finally happens for them, they’re happy for a time, and loves the way the new man makes them feel, but in many situations, this doesn’t last. After that initial phase of newness, some are left feeling as sad as they were before they met this man. This happens when the love of Christ is not the center of our existences. We don’t have the spiritual bandwidth to withstand some of the rigors of relationship. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want this happening to any of us. If we remained anchored in Him, a lot of this disappointment and heartache can be avoided.

Beginning relationships with the best possible footing requires our full faith and confidence in the truth that God is the Source of all happiness. Paul said in Philippians 4:12-13(NLT), “12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Paul conveys his ability to handle whatever comes his way. Whether he has a lot or a little, he succeeds because of the strength that Christ gives him. We are no different. We are empowered through our Lord and Savior, and to remain in his strength, we must submit wholeheartedly to God.

We must recognize that every good thing that we accomplish in life has Christ at the center of it, and this includes marriage. We make a mistake when we think that another human being can be the source of our happiness when only the Lord can. Marriage is indeed a blessing from God. It requires that faith isn’t just something we go to at a point where it seems the relationship is fizzling. Faith must be anchored in our minds and hearts before we get into relationships, so that we are not just dating to be dating. When our faith is in God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we date with God’s purpose in mind. We should never want to waste emotional resources becoming invested when the person was never meant our destiny partner.

1John 5:4(NLT) tells us, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” Victory is when we are prepared through Jesus Christ to stand on the Word of God no matter the plots, tricks, and traps the enemy sends against us and our unions. When our faith is firmly anchored in God, we can stand strong.

Now is the time to be honest in your assessment of your faith. If your happiness is not in God alone, you must change your agenda, because it should be about pleasing God with your whole life. Understand that He will take care of every detail of our happiness when our faith is firmly planted in Him. So, if there’s any possibility that you are not where you need to be in the faith, pray and get into God’s Word more, then watch as He rewards your increased commitment to put Him first. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Your Happiness in God Alone”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 7, 2025
Band-Aids Eventually Come Off

As you and your special someone talk about building a future together and share your hopes and dreams, you can’t imagine your life without him. You’re at the point in the relationship that fulfills the prayer you’ve prayed for so long. You’re actually making plans for marriage with the significant man in your life, and it feels amazing. This is also a place where the strength of our personal commitment to God and His Word is often revealed. Our understanding of God’s requirement for taking care of another’s heart while still maintaining intimacy in our relationship with Him must come front and center. We must be prepared to leave some things behind and gain greater spiritual strength and character for the new part of our journey that marriage will begin.

Genesis 2:15-18(NLT) says, “15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” Some people believed that God decided that Eve should be made right there on the spot, but this is not the way God does things. Revelation 22:13 tells us that He is Alpha and Omega, the First and the last, the beginning and the End. He is all-powerful, perfect beyond perfection, and He knows everything. He knows the end at the beginning and the beginning at the end.

God is holy and marriage is the holy union that He instituted between Adam and Eve. He took a rib from Adam’s body and made Eve, as Adam’s helpmate and wife. God assigned Adam’s role first, and then He assigned the role of Eve. God is the One with the plan and He never makes a mistake. It’s so important to understand that the Author and Creator of the institution of marriage is God. It belongs to Him, and He has set the rules for governing and maintaining its unity and longevity.

Genuine affection
One of those rules can be found in Romans 12:10(NLT). It says, “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Sometimes couples confuse genuine affection with physical affection, and the two are not the same. Jesus Christ set the bar for genuine love and affection, and he demonstrated for us that this kind of love requires commitment and sacrifice. Often women are very willing to welcome a man into their lives and give him all the privileges of being husband when he has not yet made that commitment. They have not received this same level of sharing and generosity from the man. His willingness to sacrifice for her well-being and happiness hasn’t been demonstrated. So, she has not witnessed evidence of his genuine affection but has settled for physical affection, and this doesn’t equate to the level of honor a wife should receive. It wouldn’t be wise to skip over such important aspects of the love of Christ, even if talks about marriage are promising.

Work hard
Romans 12:11(NLT) says, “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.” God requires the same level of faithfulness from the woman as He does the man, but there is no question that men have a greater responsibility to God for grounding their marriages in the love of Jesus Christ. He commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Jesus Christ has set the boundaries for our expectations here. As women of faith, we need to see the man’s level of persistence and dedication. You need to see evidence that his willingness to contribute support equals or exceeds your own. 2Thessalonians 3:10(ESV) says, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” You should see this kind of character and responsibility in the man that loves you like Christ loved the church.

Ignoring huge issues

It’s easy to be committed when things are going well, but what attitudes and behaviors are you seeing when things are not going the way he’d like? Does he pout, criticize, and levy blame unfairly? At times, do you feel like he sees you as a competitor? Emotionally immature people can sometimes be vengeful and mean. They have unresolved anger and old wounds but have become masterful at covering these up. We’ve seen bits and pieces of this in the relationship, but we’ve put band-aids on what we’ve seen just to keep it moving in the direction of marriage. Ignoring these issues will be ultimately be a very costly mistake.

God tells us in Romans 12:17(NLT), “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.” God would not send you a man whose heart is full of resentment. The man that God sends would not be vengeful and plot evil to repay you for offenses. That’s just wrong. So, if you’ve bypassed red flags just for a walk down the aisle, understand that the band-aids you’ve put on real issues will eventually come off, and you will not be at peace when they do. Be wise about your choices and decisions. Stay in prayer and ask our precious Heavenly Father to let you know if marriage with the man you’re with is the right move for your life. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Band-Aids Eventually Come Off”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 31, 2025
Your Next Season Is Here!

Just as each year brings the change of seasons, life is full of seasons as well, and all of them are sent to bring newness our way. Ecclesiastes 3:1(ESV) tells us, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Every facet of life transpires and expires on earth according to a particular timing, and this is sometimes a very challenging truth for many of us to accept. Like the rest of society, we want things on the double, and on the surface, it feels as though our impatience has pushed and accelerated the pace of life. In truth, God’s purpose drives everything that we experience and witness. Ecclesiastes 3:17(ESV) declares, “for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.” This helps us to keep our eyes open to the season we’re in. God has a purpose for it, and if we’ll be diligent to seek and humble ourselves before Him, He will reveal unimaginable treasures for our lives.

Many of us are waiting on the next season, and we’re quite bored or unsatisfied with the one we’re in. We might feel that we’ve milked it for all it’s worth, and it’s time to move on. With a weather season—winter, spring, summer, or fall—90 or so days, and it’s a wrap. We can count on seasonal changes in the weather like clockwork, but with seasons of growth and blessings, only God can set the purpose and timing of those. So, if we feel as though we’re stuck in our current place, we can almost guarantee that there are a few lessons that God has woven in this season that still need to be learned.

Sacrifice
One of those lessons is about sacrifice. Hebrews 9:22(ESV) tells us, “Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.” There’s life in the blood; without it running throughout our veins, our bodies would only be a lifeless shell. In the very beginning, way before anything existed, God decreed the cleansing ability of blood. During the Law Administration, before Jesus Christ came to the earth, God’s people had to offer the blood sacrifices of animals as a way of covering their sins before Him. The blood of animals could not cleanse their sins or save them, so animal sacrifices were a temporary fix. The blood of Christ cleansed our sins for all eternity.

Hebrews 9:23-24(NLT) says, “23 That is why the Tabernacle and everything in it, which were copies of things in heaven, had to be purified by the blood of animals. But the real things in heaven had to be purified with far better sacrifices than the blood of animals. 24 For Christ did not enter into a holy place made with human hands, which was only a copy of the true one in heaven. He entered into heaven itself to appear now before God on our behalf.” The sacrifice of Jesus Christ is a lasting reminder of his incredible love for us all. Through Christ, God set the benchmark for love, and no other individual or force in all of time and history is able to do what God has done.

Jesus Christ is our example. God commands us in Ephesians 5:2(NLT), “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Sacrifice is necessary, and it is a huge mistake to overlook this. Life will call upon us to give up certain things, because sacrifice is the way that God has given us to make room for more.

Many of us pray and pray and pray for marriage. We’ve longed to cross paths with our future husbands, but we have not yet proven the degree to which we truly desire the thing we’ve prayed to receive. We have to know that the devil will test this; he will try to present the case that our hearts are not in it because we are not backing our faith. 1Peter 2:21(NLT) says, “For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.” Again, Jesus Christ taught us that sacrifice is necessary. Anything worth having is worth the sacrifice required to secure it. We must understand this. We must also pray and seek God for direction as we dedicate ourselves to make sacrifices and give up things that do not please Him or serve us well.

Reverence

Another extremely important lesson of every season is greater reverence and honor towards God. In the secret places of our minds and hearts, those of us that have longed and prayed for a while may be asking, “What is it, Lord? Why is it taking so long?” To answer those questions, we must consider that a failure to grow in our reverence for our Heavenly Father may be the problem. It will cause us to miss the very opportunity that positions us to receive. Right reverence for God is the key that unlocks the hidden treasures of life. It is the root of Godly character, the foundation to all our happiness, and it brings us in harmony with His Will. Many of us behave as if we don’t know this. We will go to seminars, read tons of books, go on and sign up for websites, all in an effort to capture the thing that is going to connect us with what we desire most. It’s all pointless if we fail to acknowledge God with the reverence and honor that He desires and deserves.

Secretly, some of us have persuaded ourselves that God is not as awesomely good and perfect as His Word tells us. We believe He has withheld the blessing of marriage, and that He is punishing us with the wait. In the unseen chambers of our hearts, we blame God for our unhappiness, and we believe He has shortchanged us somehow. He knows the hearts of those that feel this way, and He will never punish them, but we must know that a heart of doubt is not a heart of faith. Without faith and the good works to back it, we will not see movement.

King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 12:13(NLT), “13 That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty.” Solomon was the wisest man that ever lived. He set out on a course to explore all that there was to life and eventually fell into the depths of sadness in his travels. Thankfully, his journey did not end there. His conclusion about all that he had learned about life is stated in Ecclesiastes 12:13. It sums up our purpose on this earth, which is to reverence our Creator, the One True Living and All-Powerful God, and to obey His commandments. So, whether we’ve just begun, we’re in the middle, or close to the end, our next season is here! We’re in it! And to maximize its fullest potential, we must condition ourselves to the reality that sacrifice and great reverence for God are not chores. They are privileges that allow us to move from season to season with His grace, power, and blessings. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Your Next Season Is Here!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 24, 2025
Don’t Let Anger Control You

Unresolved Anger Can Do More Damage Than We Realize

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT)
“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

Grace and her sister have had a contentious relationship since they were young. Fighting weekly was the norm for them. Their parents saw it as sibling rivalry and did nothing to help them learn how to get along. Now that they’re adults, nothing has changed. Holidays, birthday celebrations, weddings, dinners with their parents—no matter the occasion, because of their deep-seated anger, these two sisters ignore each other and hardly ever speak.

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, disapproval, or hostility, and it is a mistake to think that once the situation that caused us to become angry is over, the anger will automatically go away. Sometimes it doesn’t. Instead, it remains in our souls and increases its grip on us in the background. For many of us, anger becomes the go-to emotion we use to cover pain, disappointment, rejection, or hurt. We convince ourselves that holding on to resentment or a grudge is easier than forgiving, but it never is. Grace and her sister took that approach. They never learned to address their anger through the love of Jesus Christ, and because they didn’t, unresolved anger was allowed to rob them of years of relationship.

We Can Learn Anger Without Realizing It

As we look back over our childhoods, some of us might remember that there were angry people within our everyday environment. Maybe they used profanity, yelled when they were upset, gave people the silent treatment, or didn’t have a whole lot of compassion for the feelings and well-being of others. When we grow up around these kinds of behaviors, we can pick them up without giving it much thought. Before we know it, we are carrying those same patterns into our words, attitudes, and manner of dealing with the relationships that are dearest to us.

My nephew told me about a Christian woman who is a notoriously good baker. One Saturday, he went to a bake sale where she was selling her homemade cookies. The place was packed. People were getting antsy, and the baker was feeling pressured. They had been waiting in line for her cookies, and when it looked as though they would soon be sold out, things got a little disorderly. People began yelling out their orders rather than waiting their turn. My nephew noticed that the baker’s son had become agitated by everything, and when he yanked on her apron to get her attention, she spoke to him in a manner that was harsh, angry, and profane.

Many of us have seen mothers do this in public and not thought much about it, but we should think about what it does to a child’s heart. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT) tells us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” The habit patterns of anger can be very easily passed on to us, but once we recognize them, we have a responsibility before God to deal with them. We cannot continue hurting people and excuse it by saying, “That’s just the way I am,” or “That’s how people in my family communicate.” Jesus Christ has given us a new way to live. Through Him, we can learn to respond differently, even if anger and harsh words were all we saw growing up.

Anger Cannot Be Allowed to Lead Us

Proverbs 14:12 (NLT) says, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” We can convince ourselves that our anger is justified and that holding on to it protects us from being hurt again. We may even believe that because someone treated us badly, we have a right to remain angry with them. God sees what we cannot see. He knows what anger is doing inside our hearts, and He knows where it will eventually lead if we continue to feed it. This is why we must trust His leadership and guidance. There will always be situations and people that test us, but allowing anger to control our response will only make matters worse.

Proverbs 14:17 (NLT) tells us, “Short-tempered people do foolish things.” Many of us have witnessed this firsthand, and if we’re truthful, some of us have experienced it ourselves. We can say things in anger that we would never say with a clear mind. We can make decisions that damage relationships, and after the anger has passed, we are left trying to repair what happened while it was in control. Other people may appear very calm and non-reactionary, but underneath that exterior is anger that seeps out at the most unexpected times. They are angry but have learned how to cover it with a smile. This isn’t what God wants for us either. He doesn’t want us pretending the anger isn’t there. He wants us to deal with it through His Word, His love, and the self-control He has given us through the Holy Spirit.

Don’t Let Anger Become Dominant or Dormant

Anger should be neither dominant nor dormant in the heart of a believer. We shouldn’t allow it to control us, but we shouldn’t bury it and pretend it doesn’t exist either. Anger will eventually find a way to show itself. This is one of the reasons Ephesians 4:26-27 warns us not to allow anger to linger. When we continually rehearse what someone did, keep reopening the offense in our minds, and refuse to release it to God, we give anger room to settle into our hearts.

This doesn’t mean that feeling angry is always sinful. Sometimes we are angry because something genuinely hurt us. Someone may have mistreated us, betrayed our trust, crossed a boundary, or behaved in a way that was wrong. God is not asking us to pretend those things didn’t happen. He is telling us not to let anger take control of what happens next. We can address what happened, establish boundaries when they are necessary, and make wise decisions about a relationship without allowing bitterness and rage to rule our hearts.

Psalm 4:4 (NLT) commands, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” Sometimes one of the wisest things we can do when we are angry is give ourselves enough time to become quiet before God. Everything does not require an immediate response. We don’t have to send the text, make the phone call, confront the person, or say the first thing that comes to our minds. We can pray. We can ask God to help us see the situation clearly and show us how to respond in a way that honors Him.

We Don’t Have to Give Anger Another Year

Think again about Grace and her sister. Years have passed, and the anger that began when they were young has followed them into adulthood. Think about everything that has happened during those years—the birthdays, holidays, family dinners, ordinary conversations, laughter, support, and opportunities to simply enjoy being sisters. Unresolved anger has taken up space that love could have occupied.

We don’t know how much time we have with the people God has placed in our lives, and we cannot afford to give anger years that God never intended it to have. This does not mean every relationship can or should return to what it once was. Some relationships require boundaries, trust may need to be rebuilt, and there are situations where wisdom requires distance. But we do not have to remain angry in order to protect ourselves or exercise wisdom.

Proverbs 14:22 (NLT) says, “If you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness.” We can make up our minds that anger will not be the thing that controls how we love, speak, forgive, or respond to people. Jesus Christ has given us something greater to put in its place. As we surrender our anger to Him and allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts, we can grow in patience, self-control, forgiveness, and wisdom. We can deal with what hurt us without becoming consumed by it, and we can refuse to allow yesterday’s anger to determine how we love people today. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Let Anger Control You”, written by Alex for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 17, 2025