Isaiah 10:27(NLT) “In that day the LORD will end the bondage of his people. He will break the yoke of slavery and lift it from their shoulders.”
A revolving door goes around repeatedly, allowing people to both go in and go out. A revolving door relationship is one that is constantly ending and starting up again, continually giving a person access to walk in and out of our lives. Many people underestimate how dangerous these types of relationships can be. Robbing an individual of stability, joy, and peace, they can also be abusive and violent. Sometimes we don’t recognize the emotional damage this causes to our well-being until we’re challenged by the reality of completely letting the person go and cutting off the relationship for good.
1John 4:8(NLT) tells us, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” We tend to think of romantic love as an all-encompassing one that checks off all the boxes of good human behavior. Romantic love is wonderful when we have honorable and right motives, but it isn’t nearly enough to sustain a healthy quality relationship that is beneficial for both partners. The love of God is the kind of love that He places in our hearts when we are committed to love Him through Jesus Christ. 1John 4:10(NLT) says, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” God’s love is real love, and it is the foundation on which all love is genuinely given and received.
1John 4:16(NLT) says, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” The greatest thing that any living being can do is to love God and to love others through Him. This is an eternal truth. Because God lives in us, loving Him becomes the most powerful and satisfying way to love ourselves.
Ending an abusive relationship, then repeatedly allowing an abuser access to our lives signals that we have more lessons to learn about our Christ identity and self-worth. Galatians 6:9(NLT) “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Our goal should be to honor our lives the way that God does. So, don’t give up on praying and increasing your faith towards the good work of loving yourself through the love of God. Part of practicing this Godly self-love is guarding our hearts and opening doors to only those opportunities that reflect and promote His goodness.
God’s Will is for us to be victorious and to live free from bondage or slavery of any kind, and He’s made this possible for us through the sacrifice and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All of God’s Children are free, and we can live a quiet life with godliness and dignity when we make Him and His love our greatest priority. If you’re struggling to close the door to an unhealthy revolving door relationship, have faith that you can be released from this. Continue to pray for God’s help. He hears your prayers, and He invites you to lean on His strength and believe in His power as you trust Him and move forward in His Will for your life. ■
God’s extraordinary prophecy in Isaiah 9:6(KJV) proclaims, “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Undoubtedly, many of God’s people were taught this Old Testament scripture as it was passed down from generation to generation. The manifestation of it then landed in the Gospels, as the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, finally came! Mary, the woman who was engaged to Joseph, was a willing vessel. The angel, Gabriel, gave her the Good News that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and the power of the Most High would overshadow her. She would give birth to a son named Jesus, who would be very great and the Son of God. Luke 1:38(NLT) tells us that her response was, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.”
In Luke 1:28, the angel, Gabriel, called Mary, highly favored one, blessed among women. Our Heavenly Father knew every detail of Mary’s and Joseph’s lives and future. He knew they would be good parents for His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, and He chose them for this esteemed honor. Our precious Lord and Savior left the throne of God to come to earth, and although he is deity, Jesus came as a human being. If our all-powerful, all-knowing God had wanted Jesus Christ to come to earth as a fully-grown man, then it would have been done this way, but that was not the case. Jesus was born from a mother’s womb like us. As a baby, he allowed himself to be one of the most vulnerable creatures on earth, and with a watchful eye, God entrusted his care to Mary and Joseph.
A Son is given Before he left the throne of the Most High, Our blessed Redeemer, Jesus Christ, had not taken human form. He was indeed God’s Son, but our Heavenly Father’s plan for the redemption of humanity meant that His Son had to be given. He had to take on the form of a human being and become like us in order to save us. Hebrews 9:22(NLT) says, “In fact, according to the law of Moses, nearly everything was purified with blood. For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness.” According to God’s Law, our sin makes us guilty, because our sin is rebellion against God and His Word. Romans 6:23 tells us that the penalty or cost of sin is death, and this was the weight and curse we carried before Christ came to the earth.
Romans 5:12(NLT) says, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” Our sin made us enemies of God, and we desperately needed a Savior to restore our friendship with Heavenly Father and to rescue us from sin and death. We couldn’t do this for ourselves, so God sent His Son. 1John 4:10(NLT) declares, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” Jesus came to the earth not as an angel, but as a man who shed his blood and died an agonizing death on the cross so that we could be made righteous and live eternally with God.
The government shall be upon his shoulder When Adam sinned against God, he transferred everything God had given him to satan, including his dominion and authority in the earth. Ephesians 6:11-12(NLT) tells us, “11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Wars, rumors of wars, poverty, violence, wickedness, crime, chaos, confusion, and cruelty, these and all other remnants of darkness and destruction are a result of satan’s influence over our world. Right now, the government isn’t upon the shoulder of our King, Jesus Christ, but one day it will be.
Philippians 2:10-11(NLT) proclaims, “10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” In the world today, every knee has not bowed, and every tongue has not confessed that Jesus Christ is Lord, quite the contrary. In these modern times, people are finding new ways to rebel and reject God and His Word, but one day this will all cease. On that glorious day when our Lord and Master returns to the earth, he will set up his Kingdom, a Kingdom that will never end. The government will be on his shoulder, and it will be a government of his peace, love, joy, and power.
Wonderful, Counsellor Jesus Christ is our wonderful counsellor, and he is so deserving of this title. There isn’t a detail about any aspect of our lives that he doesn’t know, and he wants to help us with any problems or obstacles we may face. Hebrews 4:14-15(NLT) tells us, “14 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” Jesus Christ is our Mediator and Advocate, and he’s a member of the Most Holy Council of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
So often we face situations in life that confound us. It seems that there isn’t a solution, but that is never the case. Jesus is the answer to all our problems. He invites us in Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), “28 Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Jesus paid the price for our sins because he loves us so much. He deserves to be the first resource we turn to, not the last. Whether it’s mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, through our faith in him, he will help us to overcome.
The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace Romans 5:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.” We grossly underestimate the level of gratitude that our God deserves for rescuing us from death and darkness through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. No one could do for us what God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to accomplish on the earth. The awe, majesty, honor, praise, and glory that we should have for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit should far exceed the adoration and devotion we have for any other person or thing. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace, and because he is, our hope in him will never disappoint us, because he has all power and authority. He is King of kings and Lord of lords, and one day the whole world will know it!■
Malachi 3:8 (NLT) “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me.”
When we were at our worst, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth to save us, and we desperately needed to be saved. God showed us His exceedingly great mercy and grace, and through it, He also demonstrated to us how important the practice of giving is. Giving to God and to others is a spiritual discipline and practice. One of the reasons it’s so incredibly important is that it opens our hearts and lives to receive from Heavenly Father. Giving produces a spiritual outcome that nullifies plots and tricks of the enemy to steal our blessings. In Malachi 3:10(NLT), our Heavenly Father declared that if we tithe into His Kingdom, He will “open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in!” He then tells us to put Him to the test, and we’ll see that He will back His Word every time.
Proverbs 4:23(NLT) tells us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” To guard our hearts is to be careful not to allow the wrong thing to rule them. We must be particularly cautious not to let money rule our hearts and keep us from obeying the Word of God. 1Timothy 6:10(NLT) warns, “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.” When money rules our hearts, we allow our allegiance to it to dictate what, how, when, and if we give. Proverbs 4:23 informs us that our failure to honor God in our giving will determine the trajectory of our lives, and we will be doomed to sorrow, worry, disappointment, and darkness.
Money, and the lack of it, can change a person that is humble towards God into one that is arrogant towards God. When humans cling to their pocketbooks and wallets for dear life, they typically have more faith in money than they do God. This is not life in the Spirit, but life in the flesh. It’s one of the reasons that Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:24(NLT), “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” It’s not a money or wealth issue, but a humility and faith issue. Our loving Savior said in Matthew 18:3 that unless we change and become humble like little children, we will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. There are many that say they are followers of Christ yet deny the truth he spoke in Matthew 18:3.
Our attitude about money and our refusal to practice the discipline of giving and sowing as God commands keeps us separated from many of His blessings. Numerous believers refute this by saying, “Oh, that’s Old Testament law. It doesn’t apply to us.” Jesus Christ said in Luke 12:48(NLT), “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” As New Testament believers, we have received greater revelation and blessings, because we have received the unfathomably generous gift of Jesus Christ and the salvation God made available through him. This means we have a greater responsibility to give and share. We are obligated to do more, not less.
We rob God when we take ourselves out of the cycle of giving and receiving that He has decreed for earth and its citizens. Our Heavenly Father said in Galatians 6:7-10(NLT), “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone–especially to those in the family of faith.” As God’s children, we are obligated to give and be a blessing to Him and to the body of Christ. We should never want stinginess or unkindness towards God to determine the course of our lives. That’s a bad course for sure. We can avoid this, and we should.
God set up His spiritual economy to operate in such a way that blessings go where they are welcome, and they are certainly not made comfortable in the heart of a person that will not obey our Heavenly Father and give and sow generously. 2Corinthians 9:7 tells us that God loves a cheerful giver. When our hearts are motivated to give, 2Corinthians 9:10 says “he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.” God is the One that provides increase. He will multiply us when we change our hearts and tithe and give out of a heart that is bountiful with gratitude towards Him.
When we pray for blessings that appear to be delayed, there is always a reason for it. God isn’t withholding His blessings from us. Sometimes we withhold them from ourselves when we make excuses not to meet His requirements. When our hearts are open to God in a generous and humble way, our faith is activated to achieve wonderful results. We may need to consider the possibility that we’re blocking this from occurring in our lives. God invites us to put His Word to the test, because His Word never fails. We will always reap what we sow, and our giving towards God’s Kingdom will always yield a harvest that is pleasing to God and fulfilling to us as well. ■
1Corinthians 10:12(NLT) “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.”
The world is full of things to entertain and keep our minds occupied, and many of us enjoy some of those things. We become so used to them in fact that the thought of giving some of them up is a stretch too far, but if we’re spiritually preparing for marriage, we may need to rethink our attitude about this. Romans 14:23(NLT) teaches, “But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.” Deep down, we’re convicted because we know we’re not spending enough quality time with God. We keep doing the same things, yet we’re expecting life to be different. That’s not going to work. There are some things that we’re simply going to have to let go in order to receive the greater blessings. Life will prove this to us every time.
A group of friends were talking about the pros and cons of being single. One of the women said, “I don’t like being told that I can’t do something. I think that’s why marriage will be very difficult for me.” Not only is this attitude against marriage, but it’s against the humility God requires in our relationship with Him. It’s a rebellious attitude that isn’t new to those of us that know a little bit about the Bible and the first couple, Adam and Eve. The Bible doesn’t tells us the duration of the time-lapse between God’s commandment to them and the exact point of their disobedience, but we do know that they wanted to be like Him so that they could set the rules and not follow them. Most people living today still have this kind of rebellion in their hearts and minds.
“There’s a lot of do’s and don’ts in the Bible. I don’t want to live like that.” Many individuals have used this as their excuse for not following Christ, but it’s an excuse that leads people down a very dangerous path. Ephesians 5:1-2(NLT) tells us, “1 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, is everything that God created human beings to be. Colossians 1:19 tells us that God in all His fullness was pleased to live in Christ. Our Messiah didn’t come to earth to do his own Will, and we’re not here to do our own Will either. We’re here to do the Will of God. This is how the example of Jesus Christ teaches us to live.
There are many more people that don’t like being told what they can and cannot do than there are of those of us that have a desire to please God and to do what He says. There are many women that just can’t get with the truth of what God tells us we can and can’t do with our physical bodies. He tells us in 1Corinthians 6:19 that our bodies are the temple of His Holy Spirit, and they don’t belong to us, they belong to Him. 1Corinthians 10:8 informs us that 23,000 people fell dead in one day because of their sexual immorality, but some say, “That doesn’t apply to us today.” We must recognize the truth that God has not changed, and we are commanded by Him to live a holy life.
God didn’t give us the gift of life to be lived any way that we see fit. Life is given to be lived in holy communion with Him. Ephesians 1:14(NLT) declares, “The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.” God is our Creator, and He made us for His purpose. He has placed His Holy Spirit within us, and because of this, we can praise and glorify Him in the way that He deserves. If we miss this, we miss everything, and we will most assuredly fall.
We must be ever so careful to live through Christ, and therefore, live by God’s Word. His commandments are not burdensome. They do not make our joy any less. On the contrary, His Word is given so our joy will be full. God doesn’t punish us for our mistakes. He allows us to make our own choices, but He also doesn’t want us to land in the devastating consequences that follow disobedience. He wants us to live free and be blessed continually, and the way to live this kind of life is to follow the example of Jesus Christ and live only by God’s Word. ■
The airport had lost Vanessa’s luggage. It was a mad house, and she was exhausted. Headed home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving, nothing about her trip had gone as planned. She murmured to herself in utter disgust, “Why does this always happen to me.” Seven hours delayed, frustrated, and still waiting with others for more information about her bags, she stole a small space near baggage claim where she could call her mom without being shoved or rushed. With her purse slung across her body, and her carry-on glued to her right arm, she took a breath, finagled her phone and pushed, “MOM”. She was missing the pre-thanksgiving family gathering that started three-hours ago. Acquiescing to an unrelenting delay, she had told her mom earlier to start things without her, and she would call when her flight landed. There was no answer. She tried again, and again, but still no answer.
Aggravation, disappointment, and exhaustion were brewing a heavy concoction. It was in her throat, and she felt the weight of it rising through her face. Her eyes began to water, and she sniffled. The reality that full-blown water works at the baggage claim of all places were about to hit snapped her back into consciousness. Vanessa clandestinely swiped her eyes, gathered herself, and just as she was about to dial her mother again, a thought popped into her mind. “I’ll rent a car.” And off she went.
She prayed that a car would be available, and after it was secured and her baggage was located at another terminal, Vanessa allowed herself a few minutes of calm before bracing Atlanta traffic. Her Uncle Charlie’s face flashed across her mind as she took a left turn off the ramp, and she couldn’t help but smile. She knew she was home when she heard his laugh. He was always teasing them all, and boy could he sing. He loved her mom’s sweet potato pie, and Vanessa could almost taste it as she savored the thought of sitting at the table with a big ol’ slice of it and a tall glass of ice-cold milk. She was happy to be home, and a delayed trip gave way to an even deeper gratitude for how richly God had blessed her.
God always makes a way, and He never fails. When we forget this, life has a way of slowing us down so we can remember it. The more we learn about God through His Word, the deeper our well of gratitude should become. But so often, we focus on ourselves and on what we don’t have instead of being thankful to God for what we do have. We get caught up with the hiccups and mishaps of life, and we spend so little time mediating on God’s goodness and thanking Him for all He has done. Ephesians 1:5(NLT) says, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Our Heavenly Father is the One True Living God. He’s the Creator of all that we survey. His power is unequalled and has no end, and He has chosen us, mere mortals, to call His very own.
John 3:16(NKJV) tells us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Our Heavenly Father made us His children through the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and He tells us in Ephesians 1:3 that He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings because we are united with Jesus Christ. Even if we lived ten million years, it still would not be long enough to repay Him for His kindness towards us. And if we lived seven times that, we still would not have reached the depth of God’s love. He’s awesome and amazing, and our response to Him should never be less than overwhelming faith and gratitude.
When things don’t go as we plan, many of us become upset and allow a bad attitude or disappointment to take us away from a grateful heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(NLT) tells us, “16 Rejoice evermore. 17 Pray without ceasing. 18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” God doesn’t expect us to give thanks for tragedies. He expects us to give thanks for His delivering power and ability to bring us through any situation victoriously. He wants us to give thanks for salvation and the Holy Spirit who lives inside us. And He expects us to give thanks for all the things He has accomplished for us through the life, sacrifice, and resurrection of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. God’s goodness never ends. His love endures forever, and for this and so much more, come what may, we must be thankful that He’s forever our God, and we’re forever His children. ∎
What does a born-again man that has never been married and doesn’t have children look for in a woman? You’ll have to ask someone like this. I did, and to my surprise, his answer was quite simple. “I don’t need much, and many of the decisions I make in the future will be up to whomever I marry.” Notably, this man likes to keep most things about his life as simple as possible, and this is actually a blessing, because Jesus Christ kept things simple when he walked upon the earth. Many women would ask, “Where can I find a man like this?” We may not know the answer to this question, but God certainly does.
A man that has given some thought to marriage and would answer a question about it by saying “It’s up to the woman I marry…” is someone that is willing to be flexible. He’s probably going to place the needs of his wife above his own, and he’s confident that whatever those needs are, they can work together to take care of them. Not everyone is generous and thoughtful enough to place another’s needs above their own. So, it’s quite obvious to those of us that know a little bit about God’s Word that in order to meet someone like this, we would have to be match this wonderful quality ourselves. We’d have to possess a peace, humility, love, and strength that is only developed by knowing the scriptures.
2Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT) tells us, “16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” Many of us have sought a bevy of resources in order to prepare ourselves for marriage. We’ve read books, gone to seminars, and tried all sorts of techniques to help us attract the right man. However, God makes it very clear in 2Timothy 3:16-17 that He uses His Word to prepare and equip us for good work and the ministry of marriage.
Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” When the Word of God is firmly anchored in our hearts and minds, we can’t help but love God this way. This is what He requires from all His children, because loving God with all that we are distinguishes those whose faith is sold out on Him and those who deny His love and power. Choosing to love the Lord God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength means that we will always choose to put Him first in our lives because are committed to honor and obey His Word.
Ephesians 5:25-26(NLT) says, “25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” When a man says, “It’s up to the woman I marry…” and his intention is to truly partner with his wife to make important decisions and choices that impact and benefit them both, he has a mind and heart that seeks to love her as Christ loves the church. This isn’t because he’s so good, it’s because God is so good, and He has led this man to a place that makes him prepared to partner in a loving and generous way. We must discipline ourselves to obey and honor God’s Word so that we allow our Heavenly Father to do this work in us as well. ■
Galatians 5:6 (NLT) “For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.”
Most of us understand how it feels to be discontent with our lives. We recognize the hunger in our hearts for love, and we know that God placed it there, but we don’t know how to reach out and grab what He has in store. Wanting more out of life than what we’ve experienced is pushing our desire for that special person. He’s going to walk with us, side by side, through life, and the need to have him close feels very urgent. We don’t know when or where we’ll meet him, but we know that we must be with him in order to express ourselves and our purpose in a greater way.
With every urgency that we feel in our hearts and souls, there’s a temptation to place it above everything else in our lives. Rather than showing and expressing our gratitude to God for all that He’s done for us, many of us focus on what we don’t have. We need to know that there’s a danger to doing this. Romans 8:5(NLT) tells us, “5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.” As children of God, our minds should be occupied with thoughts of His goodness. These are the thoughts that please the Holy Spirit and thinking on our Heavenly Father’s goodness is one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves and our relationship with Him.
A deep desire can consume so much of our energy and thoughts that it ends up being more about the flesh than about pleasing God and fulfilling His purpose for our lives. This injures our faith and pushes us further away from what we desire.
Lamentations 3:25(ESV) says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” God will reward our patience, but when the wait seems too long, many of us lose heart. We think that God is not hearing us, but He always hears His children. To wait on God is to wait in faith, and James 2:26 tells us that faith without good works is dead. So, what we do during the wait is very important. While we’re waiting on a blessing to materialize and come to pass, we can’t keep doing the same things we’ve always been doing. Faith requires that we recognize we should be growing closer to Him and doing more to bless others and uplift His Kingdom.
Sometimes, rather than being motivated to please God, the urgency to bring a desire in our hearts to fruition prompts us to make the wrong moves. Psalm 37:5(ESV) tells us to “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” But instead of doing this, we commit actions that stem from how we used to do things before we knew the Lord the way that we do now. We must remember that God is the One with the plan for our lives. He knows exactly how to bless us. Our faith in this truth must be unshakable.
The psalmist said in Psalm 54:4(ESV), “Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.” Try as we might, we can’t move God to the passenger seat while we stay behind the wheel. Life simply doesn’t work that way. God holds our lives together. He alone makes sure that we can take the next breath. Philippians 4:19 (ESV) tells us, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Don’t let your desire for a companion to cause you to exchange your faith in God for anything this world has to offer. Our provision is in God, and only He can give us what we need, and when He does, we must never allow Him to slip to second. We must continue to keep our focus on our love, honor, and devotion towards Him.■
After years of back-to-back dateless holiday gatherings, Teresa, will be bringing someone new with her to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner. The last time she brought a man to dinner was over five years ago. Back then, her family all had their opinions about her new guy, and let’s just say they didn’t see a future for them. He was kind, a little bit older, and loves the Lord, but 35 and still behaving like a college freshman, Teresa had never been with anyone that was stable, and her family was shocked that she’d bring him to dinner. That relationship lasted all of two minutes, as they expected, and it was Teresa that ended things. Recently, she announced to her mom and siblings that she’d be bringing someone new this year. They’re all excited of course but secretly wondering if she’ll show up with one of the younger, immature guys with commitment phobia that she’s always chosen. They are in for a surprise.
If we’re being completely honest with ourselves, some of us don’t really believe that our prayers about relationships and marriage are making a difference. We need to look deep within and examine if we are truly praying in faith. Well, Michael, the man that Teresa briefly dated over five years ago, prayed for her salvation in faith. Many of us single people haven’t made this a habit pattern, but if we don’t have the faith and compassion to pray for the salvation of those we meet, how can we have the faith and compassion for marriage?
Many of us don’t pray that the people we date or have dated will be saved. If the relationship doesn’t turn into a significant one, we move on about our business as if that person never existed. Michael didn’t do this. Even though they eventually lost touch, he prayed for Teresa whenever she crossed his mind. He sent her the most thoughtful email letting her know that she’d be in his prayers.
God instructs us in Ephesians 4:32(NIV) to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” There can be no doubt that the world is a crazy and wicked place. The hearts of many people are cold and unkind, but this should never be said about one of God’s children. Ephesians 4:32 isn’t a suggestion. It’s a commandment, and God’s Will is that we get it done. We have our own agendas, attitudes, and baggage about men, but we need to move out of our own way to be a blessing. God requires this commitment from all of us.
Teresa said she believed in God and in Jesus Christ, but she wasn’t acquainted with God’s Holy Spirit. She thought the Spirit was a feeling that Christians get from time to time. She hardly ever read the Bible, but when she met Michael through a friend, she was intrigued by the peace and light he carried. As they talked, he explained faith in a way that penetrated her heart. He told her about the Holy Spirit, and that he lives in every born-again believer. She was nowhere near ready to make room for Michael’s commitment to God when she met him, but their talks about the indwelling Holy Spirit stayed with her.
Relationships for Teresa had always been challenging, and she couldn’t get out of her own way. She enjoyed the company of a man, but the fact of the matter is that she was terrified of being rejected. Most of the time, she chose men who, if they rejected her, she would be unscathed. She never had any intention of investing her heart, but she finally met someone who didn’t follow her script. Everyone thought she was brazen and fearless because she always seemed to have the upper hand and ended relationships so quickly, but facing the pain of heartbreak, she started to dislike the person she had become.
She began reading the Bible and she’d write a verse on a sticky note each day. When she came across Jeremiah 29:11-13(NIV), she put it on her computer at work and in every room in her apartment. God tells us in this Old Testament passage, “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Our Heavenly Father has not changed. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever, and He waits on us to come to Him. When we do, He desires that we trust the plan He has for our lives with our whole hearts.
Moving out of our own way may take baby steps for some of us, and baby steps is what Teresa made after Michael left an imprint of God’s love on her heart. For years she had played at dating, never really taking it or the men seriously, but when her heart was broken for the first time in her life, she became unglued and physically ill. She had never experienced that kind of pain, and she cried out to God for help. Another first for her was experiencing the comfort and peace of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 14:16-17(DBY), “16 And I will beg the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever, 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see him nor know him; but ye know him, for he abides with you, and shall be in you.”
The Holy Spirit comes to live in us when we give our lives to God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are never the same, and our lives change for the better. It doesn’t happen overnight. Growing in Christ takes commitment and time, but as we learn to walk by the leadership of the Holy Spirit, we slowly surrender to the person God created us to be. Teresa met someone who was a wonderful blessing to her life. She was very careful not to repeat the mistakes of the past. It felt good to introduce her family to a man that possessed all the good things they wanted for her. It felt even better to know that they could see many of those same good things in her now as well. ■
1 Peter 5:6 (NLT) “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.”
Kevin is everything that Desi wanted in a man. Like so many of us, she prayed a long while to meet someone special. When Kevin came into her life, oddly enough, marriage was the last thing on her mind. She’d been supporting her best friend, Lydia, who was midway through chemo, and she was also taking care of Lydia’s 11-year-old daughter, Kristi. Desi had been running so hard the last two months that she barely had time to even wash her hair. She was very happy to be there for them, but the realization that Lydia had no one else to call on during one of the toughest challenges of her life left Desi both sad and afraid. She loved her friend dearly, but she didn’t ever want to be in her shoes. On the rainy Saturday afternoon when she met Kevin, she was so preoccupied with those thoughts that she had almost dismissed him.
Standing in the living room of Lydia’s tiny apartment one day, noticing how sparse it was and thinking about how long her friend had been sick and struggling, tears began to stream down Desi’s face. She remembered five years ago, when Lydia’s husband left without so much as a word, and never returned. The nice house, the car, the bank accounts, all of it slowly slipped away. As for her neighbors and so-called friends, Lydia felt like all of them except Desi were waiting for her to crumble, thinking to themselves, “the man is gone, what now?” But for Lydia, there were no tears, no pity parties, or mudslinging that anyone could see. It’s as if she said to herself, “I can’t stop. I gotta keep going.” And that’s exactly what she did.
Desi was determined to do whatever it took to see that Lydia and Kristi would be okay. She was consumed with their care. During those months, she had so little time that she was sure Kevin would become disinterested, but he didn’t. He kept calling and kept pursing, and she was so thankful he did.
Hebrews 4:16(ESV) tells us, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Many single women haven’t taken the time to express a deep gratitude to God for His amazing grace. They haven’t fully appreciated that we have the honor and privilege to go before His throne of grace in our time of need, and He will see us through. Lydia’s circumstances sheds light on the fact that many of us haven’t realized, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” The story for any of us could be much like her story, but because of God’s grace, we are blessed to have health, a sound mind, and the activity of our limbs.
God tells us in Romans 12:2(NLT), “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Many of us single women need to renew our minds and change the way we think. Instead of being impatient and full of doubt, we need to proclaim the goodness of God and thank Him for all that He’s done for us. 2Timothy 2:13(ESV) reminds us that “If we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.” This truth must be anchored in our hearts and minds continually. Our God is faithful, and He will never leave or forsake us.
The abandonment of a husband, loneliness, and health challenges, these are difficult situations, but we don’t face these heavies alone. God is helping us every step of the way. He made sure that Lydia was supported by a loving and caring friend, and He made sure that Desi was sweetly rewarded for her selfless and giving heart. It is imperative that as single people our hearts are found faithful and deeply thankful to God for all He’s has done. Know that through every circumstance in your life, God’s love for you never falters. He doesn’t cause our tribulation, but He makes us stronger through it, and if we remain steadfast in our faith in Him, He will deliver, restore, and bless us beyond our greatest imaginations.■
Mark 10:6-9 (NLT) “But God made them male and female from the beginning of creation. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
From the very beginning, our God was not alone. He had our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit with Him. They are One, and because of the work that God sent Christ to do for us, we are One with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In his prayer to God for the disciples, Jesus Christ prayed in John 17:20-21(NKJV), “20 I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, [are] in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.” We are a part of God’s family, adopted in by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Through marriage, God teaches us the treasure, honor, and responsibility of uniting in oneness with another, so that we treasure, honor, and understand the oneness we share with Him.
Marriage and family are so important because God established them as a way of achieving His purpose within the earth. He teaches us a little bit about this in Malachi 2:15(NLT). This Word from the Lord came to men who were not treating their wives well. They’d marry them in their youth, and once they grew older, they’d put these older wives aside for younger brides. Heartbroken, the wives would cry out to Heavenly Father. God didn’t like this situation and did not condone it. In this verse, He said to them, “Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”
In body and spirit, we belong to God. Every inch of us belongs to Him. He tells us in 1Corinthians 6:19 that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit was given to us by God, and he, the Spirit, lives in us. In Galatians 5:25(NLT), Heavenly Father commands, “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” This means that we should let the Holy Spirit guide everything that we do, but many of us don’t do this. We get ahead of God and choose to be in relationships with men that may start out with good intentions but end up breaking our hearts. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want this. He wants us to stop leaning on our own understanding and allow Him to direct our paths through His precious Holy Spirit.
God doesn’t steer us into relationships that leave us depleted emotionally, mentally, or physically. He blesses our lives with relationships that help us fulfill His purpose. Many women of God do not approach marriage from this point of view. While the goodness and perfection of God may lead us to think that He has tailored made a man specifically for us, God’s purpose is the driving force behind every union that is ordained by Him. It would not be wise to think that a man’s purpose is to be your spouse or that he was placed on this earth specifically for you. A man’s purpose is to please and honor God. When we make this our purpose as well, movement towards marriage begins to beautifully unfold.
Hebrews 13:8(NLT) tells us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Billions of years have passed, and the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have not changed, and neither has God’s Word. We are the ones who must change in order to please God and fulfill His purpose. We must be guided in life by what God says. When we pray and ask Him for the opportunity to love and to be loved, we’re essentially telling Him that we’re ready for increase. God knows when we are, and only He know the path of increase that is specifically for you. If you trust Him to show you the way to it, you’ll never be disappointed. ■
