Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritually preparing for marriage

  • Being Single Again

    Being Single Again

    When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

    Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

    We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

    As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

    Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

    The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Want What God Wants for You

    Want What God Wants for You

    For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

    Know your worth
    Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

    God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

    God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out.  Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

    Marriage is the validation God has established
    We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

    Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Can He Find You?

    Can He Find You?

    A good friend of mine is a very attractive guy. He has a good job, dresses very nicely and receives tons of attention from women. I think he knows that he’s handsome, but not in an egotistical way. Although he’s quite a bit younger than me, I find his demeanor beyond his years. He has a very quiet nature and has wanted to meet someone to settle down with for quite some time. We’ve had a few conversations about this, and if I’m being honest, I have to say that I’m kind of shocked by his situation. Given his sweet personality, I find it hard to believe that with all the attention he gets, he hasn’t come close to finding the right woman. One of the things that his situation brings out is that many men today are flooded with options, but there are so few women who make themselves stand out from the rest. So, it’s possible a good man wouldn’t recognize the right woman if she were standing right in front of him.

    Proverbs 18:22(NKJV) says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” The number of discussions, explanations, and opinions about this verse are endless. It’s led to a series of subjects covered in many Christian retreats for singles, and the question about whether God is okay with a woman pursuing a man is always a debate starter. The light that Jesus Christ sheds on the practice of debating scripture is clear in Matthew 22:23. This verse tells us that he was approached by some Sadducees, and they posed a question about the resurrection, wanting to know how it applied to Mosaic Law. They expected to find some flaw in the truth he taught, and they also expected that Jesus Christ would not be able to exceed their level of intellect and understanding. How wrong they were. Jesus Christ told them in Matthew 22:29(NLT), “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.”

    Theologians and Biblical scholars have helped us to understand God’s Word tremendously, but many of them have educated themselves to the point of losing the simplicity of God’s truth. Our Heavenly Father’s power and favor are unequaled. He has made no mistake in His Word about His standard of what constitutes a good wife or about the favor upon the man who has undertaken to find her. Rest assured when a man seeks God and desires a good wife, he will be blessed to find her, but both the man and the woman have equally important roles in this equation.

    The responsibility of a good woman is to make sure she can be recognized as such. She can have all the makings of a good wife, but if she doesn’t look like one, her potential husband might be looking her straight in the eye and not recognize she’s ‘wifey.’ If we don’t look like a Godly treasure, we may not be recognized as one. There’s a very real temptation to try to imitate, dress like, and conform to what we see on social media and television. God tells us in Romans 12:2(NIV), “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  As believers, we simply cannot do what we see others doing. This doesn’t mean that our style or pizazz has to be less, but we should see it as a privilege to look like we love God. It’s not a burden, but a supreme blessing to honor Him in all that we do.

    Colossians 3:17(NLT) tells us, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Our walk with God through the example of Jesus Christ is a supreme privilege and honor. Everything we do, every choice and decision we make each day is one that either honors our commitment to God through the example of Christ or takes away from it. Colossians 3:18(NLT) goes on to tell us, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” How we submit to God shows Him whether we are prepared to submit to our husbands. We have to begin now putting ourselves in check, because some of our habit patterns have to die to see other parts of us thrive. Our prayers to Heavenly Father should include our desire to understand what He is requiring of us. And when we see in His Word that we need to make some adjustments or corrections, we need to make them, and He will reward us for doing so.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Can He Find You?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The WE Project

    The WE Project

    Psalm 127:1(NLT)
    “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.”

    Over the years, I’ve seen and enjoyed the many wonderful blessings that the Lord has given me. He’s brought people into my life to bless me, and I’ve also watched people walk out of my life. Sometimes, certain people chose to leave, and it was painful to watch and experience, but I realized that it was also a very necessary thing. Like everyone else’s, my life is a work in progress. It’s a project that I’m working with the Lord to perfect. When I try to take the lead and make decisions and choices on my own, things don’t work out. But I’ve learned, and sometimes learned the hard way, that when I allow the Lord to lead, guide, and direct me, I’m never disappointed with the results. If I meet someone new, rather than assuming they are a blessing, I surrender it to the Lord. I pray to be guided by Him and allow Him the space to confirm that they are indeed a blessing. And if they aren’t, I thank God and ask Him to keep them moving along their merry way.

    It’s challenging for some of us to do this. We’re wired to desire companionship, and when we meet someone new that seems to be nice, we prematurely assume he’s the one we’ve been waiting for. This isn’t always the case. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we can avoid costly mistakes. Our Heavenly Father is not slack in any way and nothing slips by Him. Isaiah 45:15 declares that He works in mysterious ways. He opens some doors, and He keeps other doors closed for good. We should be incredibly thankful for how He guides us. If we seek Him, God will close the door before we become invested in relationships that are sent by the devil to cause great harm. Sometimes, it’s not immediately apparent to us what is happening, but if we will just be patient and give things time, God will make them plain and steer us in the right direction.

    The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NLT), “The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” This verse is so beautiful, and it should instill such confidence in us regarding God’s careful watch over His children. We are in partnership with Heavenly Father. We are in Christ, and Christ is in us. Our lives are a “WE” project that is orchestrated and led by God. It’s the Father and us, working together to achieve His purpose. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” He is at work within, and He’s communicating with our human spirit through His Holy Spirit. The information He communicates is all about leading us in the direction of the best that we can receive.

    Philippians 2:13 doesn’t mean that God is inside controlling us like puppets. He’s giving us direction and guidance, but it is up to us to follow it. He tells us to renew our minds to His Word, to read and study it so it becomes a part of us. We do this in order to get our minds and hearts on board with the direction we have received from Him. In the WE Project of our lives, we must be fully surrendered to God through Jesus Christ. Our faith must be such that “if God says it, then it is the absolute best for my life!” because He never makes a mistake and everything that He does is perfect.

    There have been times when I didn’t trust God as I should. I had a plan in mind and set out to make it happen. I plowed ahead with a big dose of stubbornness and ended up making mistakes that could have been avoided. These mistakes and missteps allowed me to see that I don’t have all the answers. I can’t see the big picture that God sees, so there’s no way I can know the pitfalls and plots that satan will try to use to set me up and set me back. But trusting God is forever in my best interest. It’s our Father in Heaven that holds everything all together. Don’t get me wrong, we can make plans, but we must seek God before we execute them. When we seek Him for direction, through a nudge, Word, dream, or vision, we will receive what we need to change or stay the course.

    When I’m trying to make it a project of ‘me’ instead of ‘WE’,  or trying to make things happen out of my own strength and not inviting God’s wisdom, I find myself working harder and not smarter; I end up wasting time. So, these days, when I’m confused or feel insecure about the way I’m proceeding in life, I stop and ask God if He is pleased with what I’m doing. I take time to examine if I have removed Jesus Christ from the driver’s seat. What a blessing to know that every time we ask Heavenly Father what to do or how to proceed in life, He answers us so sweetly by offering to guide us through His love.

    Jesus Christ teaches us in John 15:5(NLT), “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” As single women desiring marriage, we must realize that when we try to take matters into our own hands and make things happen, they will not turn out the way we expect. Sometimes the result is that we will have taken several steps backward instead of forward. Things will turn into nothing when we don’t allow Jesus Christ to steer our lives. God is sure to finish the ‘WE Project’ that He started in us through Jesus Christ. We must never doubt this. Total re-programing of our thoughts and attitudes in order to let God take the lead in everything we do; this is what’s required. We must immerse ourselves in our oneness with Him through Jesus Christ. He has heard our prayers, and He will cause all things to work together for our benefit according to His perfect and divine timing. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The WE Project”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Will Is for Two to Become One

    God’s Will Is for Two to Become One

    1 Corinthians 7:3-5(NLT)

    “3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

    5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

    There’s no need to tiptoe around it. The question that is on the minds of many single women that desire marriage is when it will happen. Part of encouraging one another towards the goal of marrying well is to speak the truth in love. There are some subjects that believers have been known to tiptoe around, and one of them is physical intimacy in the marital relationship. It’s a deeply private issue, but also a very necessary and natural discussion to have, especially before you get married. God said in Genesis 2:24(NKJV), “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” We need to have a serious conversation with God about becoming one with the man that He desires to walk with us through life. The habits we’ve developed, and the expectations and incorrect beliefs we have around God’s plan for becoming one, will need to be addressed before we take that walk down the aisle.

    Quite frankly, for many singles, the habits they’ve developed when it comes to satisfying the flesh are ones that were adopted from society. It’s so far from God’s Word that people don’t even believe they can be married to one person for life anymore. They assume divorce is inevitable, and that on a whim people are free to fall out of love as quickly as they fall in love. This isn’t the ‘becoming one’ that God had in mind. His grace is sufficient toward us, and He forgives our shortcomings, but we can never place ourselves or our own personal agendas above God’s standard.

    Our faith towards marriage can’t be built on what society says, because that’s not faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It comes by the truth, so if we abdicate God’s standard, we no longer have the truth, and a person cannot have faith if they don’t believe and trust the truth. God’s Word is the only solid foundation that exists, and if we try to build a marriage without it, we’re in trouble.

    One of the things we’re witnessing is that there is a tremendous amount of people who believe that God will reward them when they haven’t walked according to His Word. We can’t pretend to be committed to God; we must really be committed to Him. We have to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. So, if we are truly honoring God’s standard of becoming one with the man we will marry, we must repent from becoming one with men that we didn’t marry.

    To repent is to have a change of heart and mind. It’s to completely change the way we’re thinking and believing about something so that our thoughts, feelings, and actions line up with the example of Jesus Christ.

    Our Heavenly Father ordained that a husband and wife become one before Him. You and I have no other choice but to conclude that He did this because it was very important to His plan. When we step outside the boundaries of what He has ordained, repentance is critically necessary. Heavenly Father wants to give us the blessing we greatly desire, but He cannot reward us if our hearts are too stubborn and arrogant to recognize we need to repent. He wants to help us lay up treasures so that we don’t allow the enemy to continue to steal from us. There must be within us a Godly sorrow for not doing as the Father commanded, for it is in this deep place of remorse for our actions against His Will that we can also accept His forgiveness.

    Whether married or waiting to meet our husbands, we must not allow satan to tempt us with a lack of self-control. Our desire to please God must be greater than our desire for any other thing, because this speaks to our commitment to Him. Throughout God’s Word, He continually reminds His people to be holy and committed so He can bless them. He’s very willing to aid us and has placed His Spirit within the born-again believer to guide, teach, and comfort us. We must be settled and clear in our minds and hearts that physical intimacy was sanctioned by God for marriage. This is His standard, and nothing is comparable to God’s perfection. He never changes and He always tells us what pleases Him, and what pleases God is always best.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Will Is for Two to Become One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • He Was Not Meant to Be The One

    He Was Not Meant to Be The One

    When feelings of loneliness creep up on us, our response must be to immediately renew our minds to the promises of God. Loneliness can be a lure that the adversary uses to sabotage our ability to make wise choices and decisions. There are situations and circumstances that the devil designs to remove us from the path of God’s blessings. We’ve all heard about those “Wham!!!” moments in life where things are going smoothly, and life is good, then wham! Something totally out of the blue happens and causes us to take a nosedive into the abyss of confusion and trouble. This happened to a woman I know who had been wonderfully blessed in her professional life. A beautiful home, nice car, nice things; she enjoyed a really comfortable life, but she took it all for granted, and a wrong turn cost her almost everything.

    She met a man that she didn’t expect to meet, and it would be easy to blame him for all her troubles, because that’s what many of us do, but it started long before he arrived on the scene. He had all the right attributes that she wanted, and they seemed to be a good match. He’s an electrician and entrepreneur, and not only is he ambitious, he was generous with his advice and helpfulness. She assumed he was the one she had been praying about and waiting for, and she never waited for God to clarify it for sure.

    One of the common mistakes that many believers make is to underestimate the importance of showing God true gratitude and thankfulness for His many blessings. It’s true that we work hard to acquire nice things, but our Heavenly Father makes it all possible. As a demonstration of our gratitude to God, we must sow into His Kingdom, and we must be sure to take care of the blessings He’s given us. As single women believers that have been blessed to achieve success, it is wonderful to share it, but we need to be led by God’s Spirit so that we are wise about our decisions and choices. The man that we will bless greatly and who will bless us greatly is in God’s plan, and we should never overstep God’s leadership in this area.

    Galatians 5:16(NLT) tells us, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” For many women that have experienced the pain of loneliness from being single longer than they imagined, when they meet someone that seems to be a good fit, the inclination is to dive right in. It is important for us to realize that God wants to be involved in this area of our lives, and He will help us to steer clear of harm and disappointment if we allow Him.

    Although kind and helpful, the electrician was not the one in God’s plan for this woman’s life. She didn’t give herself time to really get to know him, and she didn’t wait on the Father. She didn’t know that this ambitious entrepreneur had tried lots of things in the past to become the millionaire he had always dreamed he’d be, and he was far too trusting of others. He convinced her to invest her money into a new venture of his, and they both were the worse for it.

    Psalm 27:14(NIV) tells us, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” It’s not always easy to pump the breaks, and to stop ourselves from emotionally investing so deeply in a man who is being attentive and kind, but we must understand that things can turn very quickly. We can’t be naïve. We must be spiritually mature enough to understand that satan is vicious and has no mercy, and he will use our willingness to leap before we look against us. We must wait for the Lord and be strong in our convictions to do so. God will not disappoint us if we do this. Psalm 25:3(NLT) says, “No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced.” Heavenly Father is faithful to protect us, but we must wait on His direction. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “He Was Not Meant to Be The One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

    God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

    Genesis 2:18(NLT)
    “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

    This verse in Genesis 2:18 is incredibly easy to understand, but as with many verses like it, we have the privilege of taking it apart to digest all its yumminess. As women of God that are praying to marry, we can’t afford to let the impact of what God has revealed to slip by us. God created Adam first, and this was not a coincidence or a random occurrence. God does everything with a purpose, and certainly the first human being that He created was prolific, deliberate, and specifically ordained for God’s sovereign Will and Plan. From this, you and I must conclude that Eve’s purpose, while very important to God, was not the same as Adam’s. There was no mistake or mishap in God’s planning. Eve was made to be a helper who was just right for Adam, but we’ve gotten so twisted around by the world’s agenda that we’re rejecting the truth, and many of us are in jeopardy of missing out on God’s blessing.

    A helper, as the word is used in Genesis 2:18, is translated as ‘one who helps’. This is a very beautiful distinction, because it is the same position and designation that our Heavenly Father assumes towards us. He helps us, and it is because we desperately need His help. The psalmist said about Heavenly Father in Psalm 121:1 (NKJV), “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help?” In Hosea 13:9(NKJV), God said to His people, “O Israel, you are destroyed, But your help is from Me.” In Deuteronomy 33:26(NLT), Moses said about our Creator, “There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.” Oh, how blessed we should be and feel as women to have been chosen for a such a distinction as this, to be a “help meet”, a helper to God’s man.

    Instead of understanding this extreme honor and appreciating the privilege that God intended, we have turned ‘helper’ into almost a bad word. And because many of us have overlooked God’s brilliance, intention, and plan for this role, we have failed to produce the faith necessary to carry it out. We place a great deal of emphasis on God giving us a man that is just right for us, instead of recognizing that we have been given the designation to be just right for the man. It’s a flip in the script that cannot be missed.

    God is a God of order. He doesn’t miss a beat. In Ephesians 2:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Both the man and the woman are God’s masterpieces. He made the woman a helper, and it can be nothing other than glorious, for everything the Father does is glorious. He planned good things for us to do, and helping the man is a huge part of God’s plan. We simply cannot afford to misconstrue any part of God’s masterful intention here.

    Looking for a wife is not a man’s first order of business. The first responsibility for the man is to solidify and strengthen his relationship with God. It is to establish intimacy with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. As women, we are so consumed and concerned with what the man is or isn’t, that we’re not even bothered about what kind of relationship he has with God. We just want him to be right for us and check off all the boxes on our lists. As long as he’ll go along with our program, whether he prays or not is the furthest thing from many of our minds. It’s a real surprise for some women to discover that this attitude and mindset will work against you rather than for you.

    God’s intention is that the man fulfills his purpose. Helping him do so is a part of our purpose as ambassadors for Christ and daughters of the Most High God. It’s an extremely humbling thing to recognize that the quest to be a wife can’t revolve around us and what we want, but it must be submitted to God and what He wants. What God wants is always and forever the best for all concerned.

    We are so busy with talking about what cheaters men are. You hear it all time, women saying that they’re no good ones left, and that women are doomed to be single all their lives. This is the mindset of someone that doesn’t know God’s agenda for the woman and isn’t prepared to submit to it. We’re not going to draw ourselves closer to God’s blessing by standing in opposition to it. That will never work. God’s man is a treasure, and he can be all that God desires him to be. Yes, many of them fall short, but so do we. You must have a totally different attitude and mindset about men, and change the way you speak about them, because if you can’t speak about the blessing the way God ordained it, you won’t see it and you can’t have it.

    If you are a Christian woman, and you love the Lord, you know that the God you serve is a Rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. When we are serious about being all that God has called us to be, we don’t rely on our own assumptions about our preparedness. The ministry of a wife is service to God. We reverence the husband because of our reverence to God through Jesus Christ. If we are not sure in any respect that we are prepared to serve in the ministry of a spouse and to devote ourselves completely to it, we should be asking God what we need to do to get prepared. Our hearts should be to please Him as we seek to be the wife He desires us to be. If we humble ourselves before God, with an attitude that is flexible when it comes to changing some of our habits and thoughts, we will see things we’ve never seen before. We’ll view the ministry of a wife that God has placed in our hands with greater appreciation and responsibility, and we’ll assume it with the grace and dedication to service that God requires.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Listen, Learn, and Love

    Listen, Learn, and Love

    “31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
    Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

    People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

    As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

    The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

    God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

    We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

    The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

    The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.”  How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

    To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love.  Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • We Have A Job to Do!

    We Have A Job to Do!

    James 1:21-24(NLT)
    “21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

    You and I have a job to do! And it’s going to require more out of you than your comfort zone may allow, but – when the job is finished, your soul will be saved. God has given us specific instructions. He tells us to get rid of the filth and evil in our lives, and make no mistake, God says what He means, and He means what He says. Not only must we remove the cancerous evil from our souls, but we must humbly accept the Word that God has planted in our hearts. This is plain and simple instruction. All of us have some stuff we’re holding on to that is blocking our blessings and keeping us from being who God has called us to be. Our spirits are perfect through our new birth transformation, but the soul is another story. It’s the soul that keeps us from receiving the blessings we desire most.

    We all have some cleaning up to do in our lives. It is essential that we commit to this work so that our souls will accept the Word that God has planted in us through His Holy Spirit. The Word is there, deep inside our human spirits, but our souls have a different agenda. The soul wants to keep holding on to the things we used to do before Jesus Christ became the head of our lives. These are the things that the devil is using to intercept our blessings, and this is one of the reasons why we get close to what we want, but it slips away. It’s stolen from us because some of our old habit patterns provide just the opening that satan uses to come into our lives and rob us.

    God warns us in James 1:23 not to be the kind of person that listens to His Word and doesn’t do what it says, because we’re only fooling ourselves when we do this. Our circumstances and situations will always be the proof in the pudding. They will always show us exactly where our heads and hearts are. They will show us whether we’re just giving lip service to God, or whether we genuinely and sincerely aim to please Him with our whole lives.

    Hebrews 12:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us 0strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Some of us are carrying weight from previous hurtful relationships, and we have never taken the time to ask the Father if the weight of deep pain we’ve gone through is slowing us down and tripping us up.

    Sometimes, the hurt we’ve experienced causes us to go for the jugular in disagreements. We go from zero to sixty when something is said or done that hits our sore spot. When we’ve gone through situations where our partners indulge infidelity, many of us shutdown our hearts. We don’t let anyone get too close, and we put on a façade, never allowing new people to see who we really are. Then, there are women that have made the man they are involved with their everything. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ commands us to seek God first in all that we do. Our relationships with God must be our number one priority, but many women conduct themselves in direct opposite to the commandment of Christ. In their past relationships, they focused all their energy on the man, and ignored their relationship with Heavenly Father. This is a sin that they’ve never repented from.

    The fear of experiencing the pain of loneliness is what drives many of us to undermine our own spiritual well-being. We don’t stop to think that God is the One who holds everything together, and without His blessing, nothing will work the way it should. He’s the One that we should be seeking, because He takes care of us. Our Heavenly Father sees everything, and He sees what we can’t see in our past, present, and future. He knows when we are not walking by faith but yielding to fear. He doesn’t punish us, He helps us.

    One of the toughest jobs that we may endure is understanding how to recognize the specific thing(s) that hinder our walk with God. This is why He’s given us His Holy Spirit and placed him in the inner sanctum of our beings. We’ve got work to do! As future wives and/or mothers, we are to be conduits of God’s love, and this means that we can’t allow ourselves to be buffeted by satan and all the fear he tries to bring into our lives. We must trust Hebrews 11:6, that God is a Rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. He rewards us when we put Him first, study and obey His Word, and release the things that hold us back. We should forgive ourselves for past mistakes, but our first order of business is to confront this stuff, seek God’s forgiveness, and get on with the business of growing and maturing in Christ.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “We Have a Job to Do!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

    Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

    Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
    “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

    There are two very important practices to spiritually preparing to partner that a believer can’t afford to neglect. The first is practicing the fruit of patience. The fruit of the Spirit belong to him, the Holy Spirit, and his fruit are produced through us. Anything that belongs to the Spirit is holy, perfect, and pure. Therefore, you and I have no other choice but to conclude that the outcome of exhibiting patience is going to be powerful, and it is going to be to our liking. Knowing this piece of truth adds to our faith and wisdom. So, patience should be looked upon as an extreme blessing and not a chore.

    Impatience is a lack of patience. It is an intolerance or irritability of delays. In many cases, it reflects our refusal to increase our believing towards faith. When it comes to finding the right person, many women are impatient with the wait. If you were to peel back the layers of their impatience, you might find they are worried and anxious that God is not going to give them the desires of their hearts. So, doubt is the root cause of their impatience. God’s remedy for this can be found in Philippians 4:6(NLT), where He tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

    Philippians 4:6 is God’s tool for building our confidence. It is a ‘new nature’ attitude and mentality, one where we shift out of doubt and into believing God, no matter how circumstances appear. This is a workout for our faith muscle, and it is a mandatory exercise, one that God will not allow us to skip. Understanding this is critical to growing in spiritual maturity and preparation. It’s the reason why I advised a young woman to use caution regarding someone she had recently met.

    When I inquired how they’d met, she told me that it was through a mutual acquaintance. They started talking over social media, and she suggested they continue their conversations via text and offered him her phone number. She asked my advice regarding how she should proceed. She’s wanted to meet a compatible mate for a long time, and I shared my delight that she had met someone. I also cautioned her to give herself time and only respond to what he does. She said, “But what if he doesn’t reach out anymore?” I advised, “Wait for his response. It’s the only way you’ll know what you’re working with. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know it’s not for you.”

    The beauty of ‘wait’ is the maturation of our believing. The world’s standard is, “Grrl! You better make that move!” but that isn’t God’s standard. His way is “Be still and know that I am God.” When we practice the fruit of patience, God will not allow us to miss a blessing. We must have faith that the right man will always respond. It’s destiny at work!

    The second practice is that of knowing what to do during the wait. The antsy-ness or impatience we experience during the wait is typically because we don’t know what to do with our time. It doesn’t occur to many people that God is our Creator, and that He meant for us to spend all our available time in fellowship, worship, and praying to Him through Christ. This is absolutely God’s expectation. Jesus Christ told us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to get to the Father, and his way is to be in continual fellowship with God and to have an intimate relationship with Him.

    When a woman yearns for a relationship with a man, she must be super careful that her longing is not weightier than her willingness to give God her time. For instance, if a person refuses to make reading the Bible, praying, and seeking to put on more of the example of Christ a meaningful part of their daily practices, they can’t expect to boost their believing towards marriage. That would be an unreasonable expectation. It’s not a workable strategy. God’s Will and Word is that we put on more of Christ, because when we walk in Christ as fully as we can, blessings will chase us down. Jesus Christ told us this in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:26 (NLT), “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” God is our Sufficiency. He is the Source of all blessings, and He will take care of our needs. He loves us and gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins. This lets us know that we are worthy of love. When you are confident in who you are in Christ, your actions will align with God’s Will. We must shift our focus off what hasn’t manifested yet and put it on the reality that God has already provided the husband. Our responsibility is to be patient, and to keep on believing and trusting God, no matter the wait.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be Patient and Keep on Believing God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.