Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritually preparing for marriage

Only One Person Gets the Prize

1Corinthians 9:24(NIV) says, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” All good athletes are disciplined when it comes to their training. One of the defining characteristics about an athlete is they all know they need to train. And they understand that they are not just training for nothing; they are training to win the prize. Even if they only achieve silver medal status, with everything in them, they are training to win the gold. This must be our approach as believers. The eyes of God are upon us, and we should do everything to the best of our ability to please Him. We are on this earth to win the gold, which is highest calling of Jesus Christ. So regardless of what you are believing God to receive, there are elements that He has laid out in 1Corinthians 9:24 that are pivotal to the mindset of pleasing Him and achieving victory in any area of our lives.

Strict Training
As we look around at what is happening in our world today, it doesn’t really give us warm, cozy feelings of sweetness; its hardcore stuff going down. As victorious sons and daughters of God, this should serve as a reminder to us that life is not a game. It’s nothing to take lightly. Spiritual warfare is real, and it is taking place before our very eyes. But even with the backdrop of chaos and confusion, God will keep us if we want to be kept. He will protect us, provide for us, and keep us in His perfect peace. He will place a hedge around us if we are faithful to His Word.

In 1Corinthians 9:25(NIV), the Apostle Paul said, “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” The earth is training ground for the child of God. This is STRICT training down here! It’s for an everlasting crown, so there’s no foolery tolerated. If a person makes the choice not to be guided by the Holy Spirit, and they refuse to obey God’s Word, their lives are in serious danger. Some people leave this earth prematurely, and it is because they will not recognize that strict equates to diligence, and a diligent commitment is something God requires.

Losing focus loses the race
Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” When you pray repeatedly to cross paths with your future husband, and you pray that your future hubby will spiritually recognize you as his future wife, you must know that God heard you the first time you prayed. You are not praying repeatedly for the same request because you think God is hard of hearing. You are praying repeatedly to demonstrate your diligence and to get your own mind and heart lined up with the blessing you are asking to receive. God knows what we need before we even recognize the need ourselves. He doesn’t need to make any adjustments to give you what you’ve prayed to receive. We are the ones that must adjust.

Paul said in 1Corinthians 9:25(NIV), “Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.” A boxer who beats the air never lands a punch towards his or her target. This is what happens when we’re not focusing on God by living the example of Christ. Your focus cannot be the man, it must always be God. Some women are only going through the motions of spiritual discipline to appease God temporarily, thinking this is how they will get what they want. Their hearts are far from Him, and He knows their true motives. The prize will forever and always be a life in the Lord Jesus Christ. Rewards and blessings come from honoring God for the true prize of living forever in Christ.

Hebrews 11:6(NLT) tells us, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Your mind and heart must be committed to God. This is what the training is all about. It’s learning to become like Christ; this is always the goal. As we grow in one area, another area where growth is needed will come into view. We must be diligent to recognize when we have erred in our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. Then we must repent and pray to the Father to help us be better. This is diligence, and it must be a habit pattern.

Don’t be disqualified
The Apostle Paul understood what it takes to run the race God has set before each of us and win it. He knew that it is God who fights our external battles. Our mission is to stand, believe, and trust Him, so that when He tells us to move, we know exactly what to do and how to do it. You are the one to fight the internal battle in your mind and heart. You must fight to trust God, and this means that you might have to give up some things. You might have to leave some things behind. Letting go of some relationships, people, and other things in our comfort zones will back our faith. It demonstrates that you wholeheartedly believe that the blessing you will receive infinitely outweighs what you have let go.

You may have a vision of how your relationship should be. You might have a picture in your mind of how the man will look, but every detail of your agenda must be swapped out for God’s agenda. He knows what is best, and your faith in this is non-negotiable. Don’t disqualify yourself from the race by putting limits on God. Don’t yield to your flesh because you think the person is the right fit. Yield to God with humility and a commitment to do what He asks of you. He is in charge of the prize. He has told us how to receive it, and it is guaranteed when we run in such a way as to receive it. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Only One Person Gets the Prize”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 1, 2022
Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder if the path you’re on is just not getting you where you want to go? Does it seem like you’re traveling rocky terrain and you can’t seem to build the type of momentum you expected? Many single believers feel this way about relationships and finding the right person. They’re wondering why it seems so challenging to meet someone who’s compatible and actually believes marriage is one of life’s treasures. Every day you wake up hoping it will be different from all the rest, and that you’ll meet the person that starts a new chapter for you. After a while, you start to wonder if things will ever go your way. There are folks that have gotten tired of waiting. They’ve stepped outside of Godliness and are doing whatever they want. You might be wondering if that’s a path you should take.

The first question you might consider asking yourself is “How important is it to me to wait on God?” Is this a requirement for a follower of Christ? Does God require those that are committed to Him to wait for the fulfillment of His promises? So many people have chosen not to do so. Especially in these times, more and more people are abandoning the spiritual discipline of waiting on God. Make no mistake, spiritual warfare is real, and the devil has used the desire for marriage to separate many singles from their relationship with God, and therefore, they are separated from the blessings He wants to give them.

This spiritual war began way before Adam and Eve were created. It began when satan, once a beautiful cherub, decided to rebel against Heavenly Father’s Will. The Lord said of satan in Ezekiel 28:12-15(NKJV), “You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering: the sardius, topaz, and diamond, Beryl, onyx, and jasper, Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold. The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes was prepared for you on the day you were created. “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you.”

Isaiah 14:12 tells us that God cut satan down to the ground because he destroyed the nations of the world and tried to exalt his throne above God’s stars. Isaiah 14:14 tells us that satan was full of arrogance and wanted to be like the Most High, so he was thrown out of heaven. The realm that satan oversees is utter destruction and darkness; he is trying to put us in that same bondage so that we will not fulfill the destiny in Christ that God has ordained for our lives. It is the battle of good versus evil, light versus darkness, faith versus fear, and God versus satan. The choice of which side we are going to be on is ever before us.

Psalm 27:14(NLT) says, “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” The reason that we can be brave and courageous in the wait is because the Lord does not disappoint. The Lord doesn’t fail. He is faithful to keep His promises and we can lean upon Him with absolute confidence. After a certain amount of time has gone by, we might be tricked into thinking that the Lord isn’t going to answer our prayers. We might think He’s forgotten about our need, and that He’s unhappy with us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is working both in us and in the person that will walk with us through life.

Think about where you are and all the emotional ups and downs you’ve gone through during the process of waiting. You’ve had doubts, you’ve made mistakes, and you may have resented the time it is taking. You might think to yourself, “I’ve already been patiently waiting on the Lord, and nothing is happening.” Life does not begin with marriage, nor should the fulfillment of it be dependent on marriage. Our life is in Jesus Christ! Heavenly Father doesn’t punish us for not coming to grips with this reality, but He absolutely expects that we will learn it so we can walk by faith.

God has called us to His purpose, and there is much we are called to do. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears, and we will never escape this truth. We are in the fruit producing business, and it is a spiritual trade we must master before we think about marriage. Most of us spend so little time on Kingdom business. We’re on social media, our phones, at work or doing a million other things. Some of us spend 90 -95% of our time pursuing our own agendas, and then we get upset when God doesn’t reward our lack of attention to His purpose.

Significant relationships are probably one of the most rewarding ventures in life, but they are also very challenging. Spiritual maturity is a must to sustain them. And the truth is that if we have time to complain about waiting, we’re not busy enough with Kingdom pursuits. Each night, we should be so tired from running our races for Jesus that all we think about is praying and going to sleep. God cannot be an afterthought, and He will teach us to prioritize so that this is never the case in our lives.

2Peter 3:9(NLT) tells us, “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” God’s timing is impeccable. It is so on point that it would blow our minds to know just how truly perfect His timing is. He doesn’t make mistakes, and He is not withholding our blessings. He is being patient for our sakes. He’s giving us time to sharpen our level of spiritual maturity so that we can handle the sometimes rocky terrain of marriage.

God doesn’t want us destroying one of His treasures, and He doesn’t want anyone harming us either. He doesn’t want us hurting someone and impeding their spiritual journey in Christ because we haven’t learned to be kind, compassionate, and unselfish. He doesn’t want anyone’s heart to be crushed by another person’s habit of carrying resentment, acting out in anger, and doubting His goodness. Heavenly Father is going to protect His treasures even when they don’t realize that this is what He’s doing. So, if you are wondering if you’ll have to wait longer, you might. But know that if you continue to do what He’s called you to do, and grow in Christ, He will answer your prayers and His timing will be perfect.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Ever Wonder?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 6, 2022
Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down

I watched an interview of an actress promoting her new movie. She had also recently celebrated her first wedding anniversary with her husband. She talked about how supportive her husband has been of her career, and that its one of the reasons she didn’t hesitate to say ‘yes’ when he asked her to marry him. She is awed by his unwavering commitment to his word. “He’s never been inconsistent about his intentions towards me and our relationship, and he honored my commitment to remain celibate while we were dating.” I was blown away to hear this woman’s admission of celibacy. It’s almost unheard of today, especially in the entertainment world.

They dated for almost a year before he popped the question, and many of us who walk this walk know that it isn’t always easy to be committed to celibacy. This is why the interview struck a chord with me. To be true to a vow of abstinence while also being in a committed relationship, it takes diligence and a determination to honor God above all else. Additionally, both individuals must honor each other. Keeping this vow is a tremendous way to know exactly what kind of person you’re working with. If a person has the ability to remain committed to God’s standards when they are dating you, then there’s a pretty good chance this person will remain committed to the marriage and to you when things get tough.

Keeping it real, there are going to be many occasions where you must tell your flesh to stand down. Standing down is often used in a military setting. It’s when someone goes off duty or withdraws from a position or state of readiness or alert. Well, the flesh is on duty all the time, and it wants what it believes will bring it the most pleasure. Galatians 5:19-21(NLT) lists the desires of the flesh as “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” The body is the flesh, and it was not created by God to be the leader of our destinies. The body is God’s temple. It houses God’s Spirit; therefore, we must honor our bodies as the place where God lives.

The Apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:20(NLT), “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” We can’t live by the mind of the flesh and live by the Spirit at the same time. One of them will win out and we are the ones to choose the winner. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are commanded to walk in the Spirit and not do what our sinful natures crave. We are able to make the right choice because God has empowered us through Christ to stand strong in the power of His might.

Again, even for Christians, the thought of putting the flesh under subjection is not something that comes easy. I’ve heard many single Christian women make the statement that they don’t think they could ever be successful in remaining celibate during dating. The truth of the matter is that we must always bring everything back to what God says. If you’re not willing to honor what God says from the beginning of your relationship, can you really have faith that it will last? It’s not about what the man will and won’t accept, it’s about whose word you trust the most, the man’s or God’s!

Proverbs 21:2(NLT) tells us, “People may be right in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their heart.” The Lord tells us that He is a Righteous Judge that gives everyone what they deserve. He looks at our hearts to see if His love is living there, or if idolatry is living there. We always think we know what’s best for us. If there’s a significant person in our lives right now, we may even believe he’s the right fit, but only God knows the truth. Only God knows what the absolute best is, and He looks at our hearts to measure our true intentions. He sees if our desire is to partner in marriage as an effort to honor Him or if we’re only interested in hooking up to satisfy our fleshly desires.

I’ve had many conversations with single women that have entertained circumstances designed to interrupt God’s plan for their lives. Even if you aren’t aware or paying attention to what’s going on around you, you should pay close attention to what is going on inside your own heart and mind. Sometimes women are not understanding the thoughts and intentions they hold that get in the way of receiving answers to their prayers. They don’t believe change is necessary, but the answer to whether it is or not can only be found in Christ. We need him to tell us what we should and shouldn’t change.

Old behaviors, old habit patterns and old ways of thinking keep us from reaching our full potential in the Lord. These things will keep us stagnant, spinning our wheels, and we’ll lose out on God’s blessings if we don’t wake up. Now is the time to seek God through prayer and through studying His Word. This is the way to demonstrate that we’re serious about our commitment to Christ. It is the way to lay out the welcome mat for newness. We should ask the Lord what we need to do differently. We must tell our flesh to stand down so that our spiritual ears are perked up to hear from Him. Then we’ll hear His voice loud and clear. It will give us confidence to know that the man God presents is the treasure we’ve been praying to receive. This man will know in his heart that we are a treasure as well, and there will be no question in his mind that we are well worth the wait. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 9, 2022
When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 6, 2022
Well Worth the Wait

My children, like most I imagine, are very inquisitive little creatures. No matter where we go, I can always count on this one question, “Where are we going?” They ask it even before they can buckle their seatbelts and then ask it while I’m driving. If they think the destination is close, they’ll ask, “How much longer before we get there?” I get a kick out of this sometimes. I like piquing their curiosity and surprising them with an unexpected destination. Our life’s journey is similar in some ways. A lot of us are asking God these same questions, but unlike our kids, many of us have lost a sense of wonder. We don’t like the unexpected, especially when it comes to waiting on the right person for our lives. We want God to give us all the details of the destination before the journey begins.

My conversation with a Christian woman the other day made me examine the relationship between our destiny and expectations more carefully. She had many expectations of God, but one of the most puzzling questions on her mind is why she hasn’t met a quality man. She has faith that God answers prayer, and she believes she’ll meet a good man one day, but the ‘when’ weighs heavily on her mind. I understand this because I had been in her shoes at one point in my life—it can feel as though you’re stranded in the Sahara Desert with no rain for years. At least, that’s how I personally felt.

Our Heavenly Father isn’t governed by our time-clock, thank goodness. His promises are built on HIS perfect timing. Psalm 84:11(NKJV) says, “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings. He delights in blessing His people. Each of us has a destiny in His Will and Plan, but sometimes our choices and decisions prolong the time it takes us to reach our destination.

You may have a full tank of gas in the car but if you don’t turn the key, you won’t move in any direction. The same applies to your life. We have the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So, our spiritual tanks are full, but if you don’t apply God’s Word to your life, you are not turning the key. How far and how long will it take you to reach your destiny if that’s your approach? The answer to this question is that we can’t get anywhere or fulfill our destinies without saturating our hearts with God’s Word. His Word works! This means if you pray for God to bless you to meet a good man, He has already put a plan in motion for your marriage. It means that the door of blessing is right in front of us, but we have a responsibility to turn the key.

There’s one thing about us human beings that Jesus Christ makes very plain, and it is the reality that we can’t focus on faith and fear at the same time. We can’t focus on having faith in God’s goodness and blessings, and at the same time focus on the fear of being lonely longer than we’d like. To focus on God’s goodness, we must keep our eyes continually on Jesus Christ. In Philippians 3:14(NLT), through the Apostle Paul, God gives us a very important component to moving ahead. He said, “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” This is a race that God has called us to run, and there are things that we were purposed by Him to do in this race. It is very important for us to seek God and ask Him what He requires.

When it comes to what God requires of His children, people fall into one of three categories. First, there are those they actually haven’t prayed and haven’t taken the time to ask Him what He requires. Typically, these individuals take their purpose in God’s Plan very lightly, and they may not even believe they have one. So, their vision of who they are in Christ is not on point. They are not walking in their sonship rights and true identity as a joint heir with Christ, because they don’t believe they are. If we believe in something, we will pursue it. So, not pursuing our purpose in the Plan of God is a sure indication that we don’t have faith in it. If we don’t have faith in our purpose in God’s Plan, how can we have faith in His plan for our lives when it comes to marriage?

Another category is people who have asked God what He requires of them, but they are stuck in neutral, waiting for a big event to take place. They have not demonstrated a full commitment because they become easily distracted and impatient. They stop and start repeatedly, they’re inconsistent with believing God’s Word, and they don’t realize that it’s the choices we make daily to become more like Christ that lead us continually on the path to purpose. In other words, the engine needs to be moving, and we’re are the ones to kick it in high gear. We need to open our eyes to the reality that pressing into God, clinging to His Word, and staying in continual communication with Him through prayer is the way to go. God needs to see this commitment from us.

The last category is comprised of people that are walking in their purpose within God’s Plan but might be feeling as they are losing momentum and stamina on this journey. You thought things would turn out differently. You thought you would be married, with two kids and a dog by now. But what if God is still training you for what lies ahead in your future? What if you have a few more lessons to learn? Are you going to give up on believing in His Plan for your life? Will you be patient, trust that He knows best, and have faith that He will never let you down?

Instead of letting your hope dwindle, press your foot to the ground and floor it! Recognize once and for all that you are not in charge of the race, you are responsible for running it. God is going to bless you, but don’t let your motivation and focus be determined by what you desire from Him. Let your heart be filled with the desire to please God. Keep seeking Him and keep asking Him to show you what He requires. Your unwavering commitment to do this demonstrates your love and faith, and at His appointed time, you will receive the blessing you desire. It will be well worth the wait.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Well Worth the Wait”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 30, 2022
On the Minds of Single Believers

Getting married is on the minds of many single believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we can be crystal clear that God’s promises are a sure thing. Psalm 145:19(NLT) tells us, “He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.” This is a tremendous source of encouragement to those of us actively and fervently praying to cross paths with our future spouses. However, we must remember the words of our Master Jesus in Luke 12:48. He tells us that when someone is given much, much will be required of them. From this, we should expect that our efforts to increase our relationship with God must expand as we receive more from Him. Even the way we see God must increase. Psalm 145:19 affirms this. The word ‘fear’ in this verse is a Hebrew word that means to have supreme reverence and awe. So, God grants the desires of those that supremely reverence and honor Him. He hears our prayers and He will rescue us from all hurt, harm, and danger, but our reverence of God is required. Therefore, it is a very worthwhile endeavor for you and me to understand what it means to reverence God, and then we must make sure we’re doing it in a way that pleases Him.

Having reverence means that we have a deep respect and adoration for someone or something. In Matthew 6:33 and Mark 12:30, Jesus Christ paints a picture of what this deep and abiding reverence looks like. In Mark 12:30, he commands us to love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. In Matthew 6:33, he says we must seek God and His righteousness above all other things. From this, we can determine that God requires a firm commitment to honor Him above all others. He can’t be second but must always be first. When God is first in our hearts, love has free reign of the place, because God is love. His love can then begin to impact and affect everything we do. When God doesn’t have first place in our hearts, darkness, disappointment, and despair have free reign.

Do you believe that God delights in giving blessings to His children? He absolutely does! 2Corinthians 9:7(NIV) says, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” God loves a cheerful giver because that’s exactly what He is. He gives cheerfully to us, and it makes Him happy to do so, but we must also understand that an excellent giver gives intelligently. I wouldn’t give a vacuum cleaner to a two-year old, and I wouldn’t choose a baby rattle as a birthday gift for a full-grown man. As thoughtful givers, we give gifts that are appropriate to the person’s ability to manage or use the gift. And we give gifts based on what we perceive as their need for them.

If you and I do this, imagine how much more thoughtful and careful God is with His gifts and resources. We can see this very evidently in His Word. 1Timothy 2:4 says that God wants all people to be saved and filled with the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, and He wants them all to come into the knowledge of Christ. But you and I know that all people are not saved. God desires them to be, but it isn’t reality right now. In truth, there are exponentially more people not saved by the blood of the lamb than those that are. Ephesians 2:8 tells us concretely that salvation is a gift of Heavenly Father, but He doesn’t give it to every living person automatically. Jesus Christ warned us that we shouldn’t give pearls to those that have no idea of their value. God wants us to value salvation, to understand what a priceless treasure it is and to desire it for ourselves. He freely gives salvation to us, but we must ask for it with an earnest heart. Asking for the gift with an earnest heart demonstrates that we know its value and will appreciate it. We will be thankful to God for His gifts.

God is looking to bless a person with a heart that will treasure the value of a spouse, will do what is required to preserve unity and be a good steward of the relationship, and will always keep Him first in their lives. This is a heart that is fully committed. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” A heart that is fully committed to God is a heart that reverences and honors Him supremely. This is a person that with strong faith in God and will not be moved by the storms or temptations of life. Heavenly Father can have confidence that this is a person who will value His gifts and look after them appropriately.

Psalm 37:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” Heavenly Father is faithful to bring His Word to pass in our lives, but we must be obedient to do what He says. A person can refute the connection between backing their faith and receiving their desires all day long, but the reality is that we must seek God first and love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength to demonstrate that we are committed to stewarding His blessings. We must back our faith with works that show that we love God because of who He is and not just because of what He can give us. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“On the Minds of Single Believers” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 23, 2022
Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage

When I was in my early twenties, I went out on a date with an officer in the military. He was very handsome, articulate, and tough as nails. We had gone out on a few dates, but one of them sticks out in my mind very vividly. We were out when we bumped into a couple that were friends of mine. I introduced them of course, and we talked a few minutes. They went on their way and a little while later, my date asked me how I knew them. I told him that we had met at a Christian retreat for singles. They ended up getting married a year later. I told him that I admired their commitment to God’s standards while dating. Both were very open and candid about their vow of celibacy during their courtship. After telling him this, my date then opened up a little bit more about his home life. He said that he wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and even as an adult, he struggled with believing in God. He said it was hard for him to understand how others could believe so strongly in a God they can’t see.

Spiritual maturity has taught me that the times are too urgent, and people are too dark and self-absorbed for us to take any chances with our spiritual walk. Proverbs 4:27(NLT) tells us, “Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” God teaches us not to turn to the left or to the right, but to keep our eyes stayed on Him so that we don’t get sidetracked. If we do in fact get sidetracked, we could take several steps backward or miss the mark altogether when it comes to the blessings we desire most. It’s a tremendously wise strategy to be careful and cautious. It’s the guidance God gives us so we can stay on the path and receive what He has in store for our lives.

Impatience causes many of us to veer away from the right path. Heavenly Father tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge and indeed they reject the very knowledge about Him that will keep them safe, blessed, and prosperous. When your heart is to be married, but you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t of the same heart and mind, it can lead to many challenges. It’s so important to have a strong and made-up mind about knowing how and when to say no if ever you’re in a situation that’s remotely tempting. Why? Because once we pray to receive the blessing of the right person, Heavenly Father begins to help us, and we shouldn’t question this for one second. Our response to Him should be to do whatever we can to partner with His efforts and not work against them.

1Thessalonians 4:3-6(NLT) tells us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” Somehow, we have erroneously believed that our sin does not impede our efforts to move towards our goals, but it does. When we ask Him, God forgives us for all sin, but He does not eradicate the consequences of our sin. Sin requires a price, and the devil will make sure we pay it with the things we desire and hold dear.

Let’s be smart about the choices we make and learn to perceive God’s directions, so we stay on the right track to the blessing of marriage. Don’t be tricked and think you have time to waste on anyone that is not going to advance you towards God’s Will and Plan for your life. Use your time wisely. Know that studying God’s Word, praying and meditating on His goodness, and growing in the Spirit is helping you in every way. It will pay off with the greatest treasure possible if you remain steadfast and stay the course. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 9, 2022
The Journey of Becoming Two

Several of my friends are single parents and raising children on their own. For some of them, relationships have been a revolving door. Some of those relationships looked promising, as if they were going to end in marriage, but things didn’t work out. While we don’t talk about it too much, I know that some of my friends no longer want to be carrying the load of life on their shoulders alone. They desire to journey together with someone that is supportive, caring, and dependable—someone that will fit into their children’s lives with grace and respect. My friends, like most of us, want a home filled with the unity of Christ, but how do they get there? How do single parents make the transition from feeling like they’re carrying the load alone to maintaining a relationship that will ultimately lead to a good and stable marriage?

To be honest, none of us are ever alone. God has brought us this far, and it is because of His goodness, mercy, and grace that we’re here today. Heavenly Father also makes it clear in His Word that marriage is His institution, and He desires everyone who wants to get married to have a good and Godly spouse. Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT) says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” This verse affirms the journey of transitioning from one to two. It’s understanding God’s expectation, covering, and wisdom regarding unity. He is the One that has set the standard, not us. When a man and woman are committed to Christ and committed to each other, and they stand back to back, they are poised to conquer. Their allegiance to put Christ at the head of their union makes a triple-braided cord that will withstand enemy attacks.

The Non-Negotiable Choice

Heavenly Father wired all of us for happiness. We desire it probably more than anything else, and we understand that relationships with God and relationships with others are direct links to this happiness. It doesn’t take much to understand our desire for marital partnership, because unified connections make life sweeter. God set the precedent for this because it’s what He wants from us, connection! Long before any of us came on the scene, we were in God’s thoughts. He knew about us and predestined our existence according to the good pleasure of His Will and Plan. Even before He created Adam, He knew humanity would need a Redeemer in the person of His only begotten, Jesus Christ. God did all of this why? He did it because He wanted a family. He wanted children, and we are the apple of His eye. He created us because He wanted connection with us, and it makes sense that we would want connections with each other.

Our desire for a unified family is baked in, and God understands this desire more than anyone. We must let the truth of this marinate in our hearts and minds. Knowing that God desires our dreams of marriage, family, and unity to come true must be the foundation of our believing. Some of us struggle to believe this, and one of the reasons that we struggle with it is because we’ve grown used to trusting our own shoulders. In our gut, many of us think our shoulders have carried the burdens of single parenting alone. This has bred a sort of independence that causes us to make decisions and choices without consulting Heavenly Father and without trusting His guidance.

The truth is that our shoulders could never have carried all the complexities and burdens that come with being a single parent. It was challenging, but God carried the weight for us. Jesus Christ tells us in John 15:5 that apart from him, we can’t do anything. With some of us, there’s a place in our hearts where we connect personal confidence to the struggles we’ve been through. The rewiring is to connect confidence to faith in God and His grace to bless us to make it, even though we didn’t always put Him first. Sometimes we put the man first, the situation first, our own physical and sexual need first, and we didn’t even think about what God’s Word says.

Our faith in God and His Word must have first position in our minds and hearts. Our commitment to stand on what God says must be relentless, especially when it comes to bringing someone new around our children. Faith is not negotiable. We must be fully persuaded and sold out to God’s commitment to bless us in the area of family and marriage. A half-hearted conviction will not do. If you believe God’s desire to see you blessed is not greater than your own desire for the same, there is more work to do to increase your faith.

You are not a martyr, and your sacrifice or struggle is not required for your happiness. Jesus Christ has paid the price in full. Faith is the requirement you must meet. This means your confidence in the plan God has for your life and the lives of your children must be unshakable. He knows the right person; therefore, the choice to leave this totally in His hands is non-negotiable.

You Determine Your Level of Blessing

Past relationships can teach us many things, but one of the most important lessons is seeing the mirror they hold up regarding our faith. They reveal what was most important to us and they show us how much of God’s wisdom we employed. We should learn from them that building a relationship on the foundation of Jesus Christ is the only way to have confidence that it will continue. You and I can only be blessed to the level that we believe and trust in God’s Word.

Hebrews 6:1(NLT) tells us, “So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God.” Transitioning from single to married requires us to stop going back to old habits and making the same relationship mistakes. As single parents, we should be way past the elementary stage of believing and faith, because we have seen God do so much for us and our children. The greater blessing will require a greater commitment to God and His Word. This is what spiritual maturity is all about. It’s growing in Christ so that we can have his unity and peace in our families and in the marriage that we are believing God to make a reality.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Journey of Becoming Two” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 21, 2022
The Words I Speak Tell My Story

Researchers say that a person can speak several thousand words in an hour, so you can imagine how many words the average person can speak within a day or a week. If you think this is a lot, it’s generally assumed that women speak twice as many words a day than men. Whether it’s because women have way more to say or we have a little more to learn about the art of listening, there can be no doubt that many of us are effective communicators. We’re pretty good with expressing ourselves with words, but we also understand that communication isn’t just about talking. There are other cues and subtle ways to communicate, and intuitively, we’ve mastered reading between the lines. So, with all our finesse in the communication arena, why is it that more of us haven’t learned the secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful using the power of our tongues?

James 3:3-6(MSG) takes us to school. It says, “A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

A small bit in the horse’s mouth directs his whole body. This little bit makes all the difference! It’s the same thing with a small rudder on a ship. It steers the whole ship and keeps it on a straight course even when there’s a fierce storm with strong winds. This lets us know under no uncertain terms, that something we think is small and insignificant can have a gigantic effect. God is teaching us this because many of us have missed the small details, and overlooking these details is having a huge impact on our lives.

We want God to bless us in certain areas, and when the blessing doesn’t manifest how, where, and when we expect, we complain that God has not heard us or isn’t answering us. He’s communicating, but with us, that whole listening thing comes into play. We’re not paying attention to what He’s conveying and what He’s doing. We might be expecting Heavenly Father to use words, when He’s communicating another way. He might be communicating through our circumstances, telling us that we’re repeating old habit patterns, and self-sabotaging our progression forward. We fail to see the importance of what He’s teaching us through our situations and circumstances. We don’t appreciate the power He’s given us to make a change in our behavior, and we won’t be committed to use this power the way He has ordained. And because we’re overlooking what He’s conveying, we’re not learning the very lesson that will position us for the blessing we desire most.

God’s Word tells us that He’s a God of order, and this means that we won’t get to graduate if we haven’t learned the lesson. I used to say that I could write a book on what I’ve experienced in my short amount of time on this earth. Would the words I’ve spoken thus far author a book that I’d like? Would the title define the person I want to be? I might think so, but what about those for whom my words have influenced and impacted? You see, we really have no excuse because God has already told us the tool of our power. Jesus Christ taught us how to build a life with our words. He told us to do what he did when he walked the earth, which is to walk, talk, and live by God’s Word.

James 3:3-6 reminds us that it only takes a spark to burn down an entire forest. It only takes one accusing, venomous word from our lips to tear someone’s heart to pieces. If you or I have this in us, and we won’t check ourselves; if we have a heart this very moment that will go there, then we could potentially ruin the blessing God wants to give us. Heavenly Father is looking for obedience in us, so that He can trust us to build a foundation strong enough for a healthy relationship to grow and thrive. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder, but He rewards those that DILIGENTLY seek Him. As He examines the motives of our hearts, He’s looking to see if we’re diligent to use this awesome power He’s placed in our tongues to build up or tear down.

God tells us in Proverbs 18:21(NKJV), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” The secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful is being ever so careful to examine the words we speak. What we communicate has lasting effects, and our tongues are powerful and sharp tools. Through them we can turn harmony to chaos, or we can turn chaos to harmony; it’s up to us! Let’s be committed to speak words that will tell a story of the love of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father will be pleased with us if we do this. It will prove that we’ve heard His command and have humbled ourselves to obey it and be rewarded.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“The Words I Speak Tell My Story” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 14, 2022
You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.

Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.

Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?

Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.

Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.

So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking. Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.

It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”

This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 8, 2022