Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

The Lord Sees It Differently

1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his older sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were taller, hardworking, and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their idea of how he should look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and overall level of attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they’ve had in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

This can be a challenge to work through, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God has set those according to His plan for your life. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” His desire is that we prioritize what He deems important at the top of our lists, because He always knows what is best for us. If we don’t line up our thoughts and convictions to give God the highest place of authority in our quest for marriage, we will keep ourselves separated from the blessing we desire.

Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of being dissatisfied with the outcomes of our choices and decisions. Heavenly Father deserves all the glory! He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. He never makes a mistake, and His delight is to bless His children. He never intended us to navigate life on our own. Walking and talking with Him, and receiving His divine leadership and guidance was always the kind of relationship He wanted with us. Yes, we may be adults and able to make decisions for ourselves, but God sees it differently. He sees us as children who need His help to live a successful life of faith. He is willing to help us cross paths with the person that is right for us, and He will help us with any other issues or desires. He will always steer us in the right direction, and we must put Him in His rightful place of honor as He guides us to higher blessings through our faith and obedience to His Word. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lord Sees It Differently”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2023
The Bridge Not Easily Crossed

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NIV), “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken;”

The thing that speaks to me uniquely regarding this passage in Ecclesiastes 4 is that its wisdom takes out all the fuss we add to relationships. God delivers His standard here, and it is very simple common sense; this is what I love. Its practical guidance is beneficial no matter your situation. Whether you’re single, married or divorced, the principle of strength in unity and partnership can be applied across the board. If you’re finding the process of going from single to married to be a bridge not easily crossed, don’t allow yourself to be discouraged or deterred. Cling to the simplicity and common sense of God’s standard and let Him guide you as you cross the bridge from single to married.

You can’t do it without God
The principle reality about any quest we attempt to undertake is that we can’t do it without God. The truth of this goes without saying, but still many of us neglect to pray and be obedient in a way that signals we are letting Him lead. Nothing makes sense without God, but with Him, the quests we think are complicated and difficult are made light and far less challenging. God is about increase, sharing, and unity, because all of these, and much more, embody what it means to love in the way that He does. This doesn’t mean that being single is a negative thing. It’s not. It gives us time to concentrate and focus on our relationship with God. Some might feel they’ve had a little too much time for this, but God is the Judge of that. He knows when our hearts are full of His love. And He also knows when we are at a point spiritually when we will not shortchange our time with Him simply because we have a new man in our lives.

The simple truth He is revealing is that His Will is that people stand together and help one another. He loves unity, and He wants us to know this. So, when we’re at a point of praying that we’ll meet a good man and get married, we are praying to expand our lives by caring for and supporting another person. This is fruitful because God makes it plain for us in Ecclesiastes 4:10 that with two, you’ll have a better return on your labor. This means you can accomplish more things together than you would alone, but we must never forget that our working together with another must be fueled by our honor and obedience to God.

You must use your time now to pray that God teaches you the lessons that are specific to being the helpmate your spouse needs. You must have God’s guidance for this. Without His love guiding us, we become confused and entangled with too many expectations and too little spiritual discipline.

Know how to help each other up

In Hosea 4:6(ESV), God said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge.” Heavenly Father is speaking directly to us, His children, and He’s telling us that we can be severely harmed because we have refused to know Him as well as we should. Many single people have not applied discipline when it comes to reading and studying God’s Word. If they are not doing it while they are single, they probably will not do it when they become married. Because they haven’t used their time as singles to study God’s Word, they won’t be able to withstand some of the rigors of married life. They’ve neglected to heed God’s warning in Hosea 4:6, yet they expect to be blessed with a lasting marital union. This is not a spiritually mature posture.

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. Diligence is a discipline. It is evidenced by a consistent pattern that becomes a habit. Once we have worked a habit pattern of diligence in our lives, it stays with us. The characteristic of diligence towards the things of God helps to preserve our marital unions, and we can’t be ignorant about this. God’s requirement and expectation is that we will be a helper to our spouses. He expects that we will allow Him to work through us so we can help our spouses up when they fall. However, if we are not seasoned in His Word, we’re not even helping ourselves, so how can we help a spouse? We must be diligent about the things of God, so that we are spiritually prepared to help our spouses in the way God has ordained.

Make a cord of three strands
Jesus Christ must be the head of our marriages. His love is the glue that holds it together. It is inevitable in a marriage that there will be disagreements. Some marriages don’t survive them. Weaknesses of the spouses are weaponized by the devil to put a wedge between the couple. When neither spouse has built within them a habit pattern of prayer and walking in the Spirit, small things fester and slowly become layered over time. But when one of them has the faith to press into God and let Jesus Christ take the wheel, the Holy Spirit can strengthen their union. This is how the spouses together with Christ build the strong cord of three, and it will withstand the plots of the enemy that are designed to come against their union.

Knowledge about God’s Word is our greatest weapon, and when we don’t have it, life can be extremely difficult. If we are without the Godly wisdom necessary to be the good helpmate that Heavenly Father desires, the enemy will continually steal the opportunities that are necessary for us to cross paths with our destiny partner. We will be stuck on the bridge, never crossing it because we’re blinded by a lack of knowledge. We won’t see the very instruments that lead to our blessing. God loves unity, and you must pray and ask Him to teach you to work together with your spouse. He requires you to diligently apply yourself to this before you marry. You must get into His Word, so that you are spiritually strengthened and prepared to be the helpmate God desires you to be. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Bridge Not Easily Crossed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 10, 2023
Choose Me, Please

“Men don’t notice me, and I don’t know what to do to change that.”

When we’re frequently in the company of more than a few men that are believers, and none of them seem to notice us, it can really do a number on our self-esteem. You wonder if there’s something you’re doing that is counterproductive to your goal of meeting Mr. Right. I’ve heard this concern from single women more than a few times, and it makes you want to do something to wake up certain men and say, “What’s wrong with you?!!!” All these amazing women that are beautiful inside and out are out there, and single men are like, “I’m waiting to get myself together financially first before I seriously date.” Seriously! What about what God says, does that count at all in their calculation, or is this ‘financial stability’ thing just an excuse.

If we’re keeping it one hundred, many of these men could have been more financially secure years ago, but they splurged on stuff like sneakers, clothes, or some other non-essential things, and didn’t use their money wisely. Do you think if they lacked the discipline a year ago that they’ve changed their game up a whole lot now? Having money in the bank is a really good thing, and we should all be striving to save and be more financially disciplined, but not to the point where money is governing our decision-making process rather than the wisdom of God’s Word.

A man’s responsibility is to be a provider, there is no doubt about this, but his ability to do so is an empowerment from God. It isn’t based on a man’s idea of what he needs. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 that Heavenly Father knows what we need even before we ask. So, a man must depend solely on Heavenly Father as his Source, because this is the posture that pleases God. The man should understand that his motivation and commitment to care for those God has entrusted to him is what catapults him into God’s favor.

The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9(NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” This is a jewel for single people, but how can a single woman convince a single man that a serious and monogamous relationship is a precious blessing and not a detriment or a squash on his dreams of financial security? What can she do to make him see her as an asset and not a liability? Is there anything she can do to make him choose her as his wife for life?

Those are questions for the ages and many women have pondered them. But the answer is that a single woman shouldn’t think she has to try and convince a man of her worth. Her responsibility is to be convinced of it herself. How does this happen? How do we become grounded in the reality of our worth? The answer to this question requires us to know the Source of our worth, because He is the One who gives us value.

Before God rescued us from eternal darkness, Ephesians 2:1 tells us that we were dead in trespasses and sins against Him. Nothing dead has any value, but because of God’s amazing grace, He sent His Son to die so that he would save the world. God sent Christ to redeem us, and this redemption gave us our value because Jesus Christ gave us new life!

If we miss the extremely important reality of what Jesus Christ accomplished for us and where we were before he saved us, then something within us is still in the dark. God gave us value, and without our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, we have no identity and no idea of our value. If we are not basking in the joy of what God has done for us, our light is not on. If the light is not on, the love of God is not powerfully radiating from our being, and we are not the magnet we could and should be. We must truly understand the depth of God’s love for us and the great sacrifice our Lord and Savior made for us all.

1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Spirit of the Living God dwells within us, and he is the One that causes us to live a successful life as a follower of Christ. Living through Christ is our source of power. Heavenly Father makes this clear to us in 1Corinthians 4:20, which tells us that His Kingdom is not just a lot of talk, it is living with His power!

The Holy Spirit will do what we allow him to do. If we are not surrendering to his guidance and letting him teach us how to be our best for God’s Kingdom, then we are missing the mark. You and I, and everyone that has ever existed, live from the inside out. This means that the real action of who we are, what we represent, and what we can do illuminates from within. Blessings land in our lives and remain as a result of what is in our hearts and minds, so our aim should always be to let the light of Christ shine from within as we remain continually infused with God’s Word.

Getting ourselves pampered and pretty has its place, but it will never be enough to catapult us to next level of blessings and spiritual growth. God’s love in Christ is the glue. It causes us to cross paths with our destiny partners and keeps the relationship unified. Without God’s love in Christ and the gratitude we should have for what He’s done for us, you and I don’t have anything to draw out our blessings. We will not be able to hold things together. So, as a woman of God, of course you know that along with yours, there are lots of pretty faces out there, but a pretty face will not move a man to change his mind about marriage. You must be blissfully thankful to God, and you must be confident in your Christ identity. When you are, the transformative power of His love that is operating in your life will ensure that the right man recognizes you as the right woman for him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Choose Me, Please”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 3, 2023
God Is Waiting on You

Romans 8:29(NIV) says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Many believers underestimate God’s allegiance to this verse and some even think He will negotiate with them over it. God’s goal for everyone is to become the very image of Christ. This earth experience gives us the opportunity to line up our souls with God’s Word so that our souls will be transformed; this must be our most important mission in life. Heavenly Father blesses His kids, there can be no doubt about this. He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Christ, and He hasn’t withheld any good thing from us. Our job is to never forget that our blessings are contained in the example of Christ. He is the mold from which we are cast, and we are cloned to the image of Christ by our obedience. 2Corinthians 10:6 affirms that obedience to God is the way to demolish the darkness that seeks to tear us down. The example of Jesus Christ represents our Heavenly Father’s faith in us. It’s our ticket to happiness and all the other blessings He has in store.

We can’t do things our own way and stamp it with ‘Success!’ Life never works out when we try to rely on our own effort to bring things together. Heavenly Father tells us in Romans 8:28 that HE is the One that causes all things to work together for our good. If He is for us, who can be against us?!!! It is our Almighty and Powerful God who justified us in Christ, and nothing can separate us from His love. As a single believing woman, you may have thought about taking your quest for marriage into your own hands. You may want to rush things along because you feel that God is taking too long. That can never be. God is perfect and His timing is impeccable but rest assured that He is not withholding your blessing. He is not making you wait year after year for it. Some of us are stuck in wait-mode longer than we’d like because we’ve decided to go at our own pace when it comes to conforming to the image of Christ.

Being 100% honest, we’d have to admit that many of us spend more time on social media and dating sites than we do reading God’s Word. We want to be entertained and not instructed, and that’s a problem because in order for our faith to increase, we must hear and perceive the Word of God. Romans 10:17 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing God’s Word. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:19-20 not to lay up treasures on the earth, but to lay them up in heaven, where they can be stored. These treasures, if they are worthy, are what we’re putting away in God’s storehouse, therefore, the glory of them are on full display before Him. Our treasures are the tally sheet for how we walk in Christ and for what we are doing for the Kingdom. Our treasures represent what is in our hearts, for Jesus declared in Matthew 6:21(KJV) “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” What does God see when He looks at what you’re treasuring? What does it tell Him about your heart?

In Matthew 12:25(NLT), Jesus Christ said “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” He then went on to say that on judgment day, we must give an account of everything we’ve done on this earth. Some of our accounts are in really bad shape right now. We haven’t stored up enough treasure in heaven, we haven’t put the Kingdom of God in first place, and we haven’t made our relationship with Him our number one priority. Instead, we’ve done our own thing. We can’t lie to God. We can’t make excuses, because He sees everything we do, and He knows everything there is to know about our hearts. God is not looking at us and shaking His finger with disapproval. He’s rooting for us, saying, “Come on, daughter. Get in my Word so you can understand who you are in Christ and what you should be doing to bear fruit in his powerful name!”

Hebrews 2:1(NLT) teaches us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” We should never make this mistake; we can never forget the truth that we’ve heard, nor can we drift away from it for the sake of human companionship. As spiritually mature men and women in Christ, experience has taught us what happens when we allow ourselves to drift away from God’s Word. We lose our spiritual zeal and become distracted. The intimacy in our relationship with God weans, and if we continue down that road for too long, we begin to sabotage our blessings. The price of this is much too high to pay.

We have an adversary that would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in the victory of Christ. For this reason, we must never take our eyes off God and His love for us. Psalm 91:1(NLT) affirms, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” To live in God’s shelter and find rest in His shadow, you and I must stay close to Him through His Word. It’s our responsibility to saturate our mind and heart with His love and live in Godliness.

He’s giving us opportunity after opportunity, chance after chance, to get busy fulfilling our call. He doesn’t want us to leave this earth without making the impact we are destined to make in Christ. Romans 8:19(NLT) tells us, “For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.” We need to recognize that everything around us; relationships, people, circumstances, environments, and conditions are waiting on us to rise up and produce what Christ gave his life for us to bring forth. So, we are not really in wait-mode. God is waiting on us to rise up and take our rightful place. How can we rush the delivery of the blessing when we have refused to produce fruit? Don’t try to follow what someone else has done or is doing. Walk in the Spirit for yourself and do what God has called YOU to do, so that you bring Him glory and receive what He has for you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Is Waiting on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 26, 2023
Details of Your Destiny

Ecclesiastes 6:10-12(NLT) says, “10 Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny. 11 The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they? 12 In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?” This passage puts our destiny in Christ upfront, in full-view, and in wide-screen high definition. No matter how much we might try to alter it or bump up against it, our destiny is unmovable. God has etched it in stone, so to speak, and we have no other choice but to accept this. The truth of this passage also gives us the lens from which to view our future marriages. God would not leave such an important part of our lives to chance. The person that will walk with us through life is our destiny partner, and God has included the details of our union in His plan.

Personally, I must admit that in the past, I argued with God about the direction my life had taken, but even though I argued with Him, He did not argue with me. His Will is perfect, and I had to get on board with His plan for my life. There were many things that I didn’t understand, and to be quite frank, some things I still don’t understand. But that’s why He tells us in 2Corinthians 5:7 to walk by faith and not by sight. This means that we can’t lean on what we see with our physical eyes and make our life’s choices and decisions based on that. We must have total faith in Him and what He says in His Word, so that our choices and decisions are grounded in His truth.

God’s Word is the truth. His Word is reality. Things can seem and look to us to be very bleak, and sometimes our relationships with the significant person in our lives becomes very rocky. It can feel very much like a breakup is eminent. The person may even be interested in someone else, but faith dictates that we don’t re-act to what we see, nor should we act out or re-act according to the angst or anger we may feel.

Some of us have been single for a while and there appears to be absolutely no movement. You’ve prayed and waited and done all that you know to do. You’re ready to throw in the towel because you’re not seeing movement with your physical eyes. The truth is that you have no idea what the Father is doing. You can’t see all the things He is moving and shaking up behind the scenes. So many singles make the mistake of self-sabotage due to impatience or emotional instability, and they prolong their blessing.

King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 6:11(NLT) “The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?” In other words, so often ‘people be talking just to be talking’. We say a lot of words, but they have no weight and don’t mean anything. God is letting us know that unless we speak what He speaks, we are not speaking life. And if we don’t speak life, it’s not going to produce the results we expect or want. We must get on board with our destinies and maximize our opportunities to move ourselves forward in God’s agenda. If you’re spending more time speaking negative than you are speaking the positives of God’s promises, you’re sabotaging your own efforts.

Scripture makes it all crystal clear to us, our destiny, whatever it may be, has already been decided. This is not to minimize our free will choice, but the emphasis is on the truth that whatever decision we make, it’s all about God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Romans 8:28(KJV) takes us to school and teaches us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This verse does not mean that God structures His blessings and purpose around our decisions and choices. It means that He has designed the universe to work towards our good when we get on board with His Will.

If we want to know the details of our destiny, this is it. It is that we live according to His Will and Word so that we witness the blessings He has in store for us. Nothing good happens outside God’s Will. We can see this from the condition of the world today, but it is a totally different story indeed when we remain in His shelter. Psalm 91:1(NLT) declares, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” This is where we want to be.

King Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived, and his frustration is palpable in Ecclesiastes 6:10-12. He explored the many facets of life during his existence, looking under every rock for the meaning of life. He was looking for that “Ah Hah! Moment” and thought it could be found outside the boundaries of God’s sovereignty and magnificence. He wanted every detail of his destiny revealed so he could be definitive about his journey forward. Many of us are this way when it comes to our destiny partners. We want all the details, but like Solomon, we will find that reality is faith in God. Destiny is the moment by moment decisions we make to strengthen our relationship with Him through Christ. So, whatever your situation might be, whether you are patiently waiting for marriage or praying for the restoration of one, stay close to God. Have faith in Him! Seek Him through prayer and continual dialogue. Instead of doing what you want, get committed to doing what He wants, and the details of your destiny will beautifully unfold.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Details of Your Destiny”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 19, 2023
Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
Do You Think About God Much?

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Philippians 4:8(NLT)

In Philippians 4:8, our Heavenly Father is providing us with valuable information that will help to shape and mold our lives. He has given us insight regarding the importance of our thoughts. Our minds are the grooming place of faith, and they produce the thoughts that help us move ourselves forward and upward in the things of God. This is one of the reasons the Father commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, because when we change our thoughts, we make a shift in the supernatural. This shift begins a manifestation process that can change our lives if we keep the faith and stay the course. When it comes to crossing paths with the person that will walk with us through life, we need to immediately arrest the negative. All doubt and anxiety must be replaced with promises of God’s Word.

Think about what is true
God’s Word is true! If God says something, then it must be so. We can’t have faith and doubt at the same time. One of them has to go. Jesus Christ said in Mark 11:23(NLT), “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” What is doubt? Very simplistically, doubt is the opposite of faith in every way. It is feelings and thoughts of uncertainty and not believing the Word that God has told us. Doubt demolishes the momentum of faith and therefore, doubt will not and cannot prove the perfect Will of God.

Jesus Christ has told us the truth in Mark 11:23, and it is our choice whether or not we will believe that through faith in him, we can do incredible things. Our faith in the Lord is what causes us to be led and guided by the Holy Spirit. Faith takes us out of the driver’s seat and places Jesus Christ in his rightful place as the head of our lives. So, when we think thoughts that are true, we ought to be thinking the same thoughts that Jesus Christ has. What are those? Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NIV), “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Our Lord and Savior never did anything that did not please God. From the time he woke up in the morning until the time he laid his head down at night, he was either thinking or doing the Will of God. This is what is always on the mind of Christ. He is always thinking about ways in which he can please God. How about us?

Think righteously
The process of thinking the same thoughts, and not changing the way we think, is like watching the same movie over and over again. After we’ve seen the movie repeatedly, it is recorded and programmed in our minds. The outcome is the same every time, and it doesn’t change. The actors don’t change, the scenes don’t change, and the ending doesn’t change. So, if the movie is bad, the outcome is always going to be bad. If the movie is good, the outcome is always going to be pleasing to us. Many single women want different results, but they don’t change the movie that is playing in their heads and hearts. They keep doing the same things and hoping for different results. Life will not respond to this positively. God designed life to respond favorably to faith.

Our thoughts are like seeds, once you plant them, ultimately that seed will produce a harvest. We, you and I, strengthen the plant based on how much we think the thoughts that seeded it. Our minds are a powerful tool – so much so, that our Heavenly Father has instructed us on what exactly we need to think in order that our minds are fertile soil for faith. He tells us to think on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. This is what it means to think righteously.

To have unrighteous or non-righteous thoughts is to think repeatedly about things that are not based on the truth. Some of us make the mistake of allowing our thoughts to be dominated by our lack of companionship or lack of a significant relationship with a good man. We think about how lonely we might be if we don’t have a man by a certain time. We think about the embarrassment of showing up at events without a partner, and we think about how much we dread feelings of loneliness. But what about thoughts of the righteousness of Christ and the hope we can have to measure up to God’s standard? Does this dominate our thoughts more than those of lack and loneliness? Are we allowing our minds to be breeding ground for more of the same? What about your blessed marital union and the things you’ll do as a couple to bless the body of Christ? Some of us don’t think of our lives in this way because we don’t plan on doing much more than what we’ve done. Yet we expect to be blessed for a harvest we haven’t even planted.

Excellent and Worthy of Praise
Psalm 100:4(NLT) tells us, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” This is how we are to enter the presence of our God. Only He is deserving of our praise. He deserves all the praise, honor, and glory that we can give Him. Thinking about this is what it means to think high-level thoughts. It’s keeping our minds and hearts continually in that high place. We should come before God trusting and believing He’s taking us higher, and we should be committed to using our thoughts, words, and deeds to meet Him in the place that is deserving of His majesty. We can’t bring God down to the level of doubt and fear. Trying to do this is admitting we either don’t know who He is, or we are refusing to have faith in who He is. But when we are committed to give Him our highest praise and thankfulness, we are partnering with all that is good to please Him.

Gratitude and faith in God is the culture of heaven, and heaven is our home! It’s the place where our Father lives. We are God’s spiritual children, and we were born from His Spirit. His home is our home, and we need to represent home wherever we are. Whether it’s in the shower, in a classroom, at work, at church, at the hair or nail salon, in the grocery store, or at the dinner table. We ought to be thinking about God ALL the time, and we should be committed to having Him be pleased with our whole lives. If we continue to think like Christ, rest assured, marriage will come, and life will get better and better as we give God our whole lives and please Him with our thoughts and deeds.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Think About God Much?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 2, 2023
Being Single Again

When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2023
Want What God Wants for You

For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

Know your worth
Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out. Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

Marriage is the validation God has established
We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2023
Can He Find You?

A good friend of mine is a very attractive guy. He has a good job, dresses very nicely and receives tons of attention from women. I think he knows that he’s handsome, but not in an egotistical way. Although he’s quite a bit younger than me, I find his demeanor beyond his years. He has a very quiet nature and has wanted to meet someone to settle down with for quite some time. We’ve had a few conversations about this, and if I’m being honest, I have to say that I’m kind of shocked by his situation. Given his sweet personality, I find it hard to believe that with all the attention he gets, he hasn’t come close to finding the right woman. One of the things that his situation brings out is that many men today are flooded with options, but there are so few women who make themselves stand out from the rest. So, it’s possible a good man wouldn’t recognize the right woman if she were standing right in front of him.

Proverbs 18:22(NKJV) says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” The number of discussions, explanations, and opinions about this verse are endless. It’s led to a series of subjects covered in many Christian retreats for singles, and the question about whether God is okay with a woman pursuing a man is always a debate starter. The light that Jesus Christ sheds on the practice of debating scripture is clear in Matthew 22:23. This verse tells us that he was approached by some Sadducees, and they posed a question about the resurrection, wanting to know how it applied to Mosaic Law. They expected to find some flaw in the truth he taught, and they also expected that Jesus Christ would not be able to exceed their level of intellect and understanding. How wrong they were. Jesus Christ told them in Matthew 22:29(NLT), “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.”

Theologians and Biblical scholars have helped us to understand God’s Word tremendously, but many of them have educated themselves to the point of losing the simplicity of God’s truth. Our Heavenly Father’s power and favor are unequaled. He has made no mistake in His Word about His standard of what constitutes a good wife or about the favor upon the man who has undertaken to find her. Rest assured when a man seeks God and desires a good wife, he will be blessed to find her, but both the man and the woman have equally important roles in this equation.

The responsibility of a good woman is to make sure she can be recognized as such. She can have all the makings of a good wife, but if she doesn’t look like one, her potential husband might be looking her straight in the eye and not recognize she’s ‘wifey.’ If we don’t look like a Godly treasure, we may not be recognized as one. There’s a very real temptation to try to imitate, dress like, and conform to what we see on social media and television. God tells us in Romans 12:2(NIV), “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” As believers, we simply cannot do what we see others doing. This doesn’t mean that our style or pizazz has to be less, but we should see it as a privilege to look like we love God. It’s not a burden, but a supreme blessing to honor Him in all that we do.

Colossians 3:17(NLT) tells us, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Our walk with God through the example of Jesus Christ is a supreme privilege and honor. Everything we do, every choice and decision we make each day is one that either honors our commitment to God through the example of Christ or takes away from it. Colossians 3:18(NLT) goes on to tell us, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” How we submit to God shows Him whether we are prepared to submit to our husbands. We have to begin now putting ourselves in check, because some of our habit patterns have to die to see other parts of us thrive. Our prayers to Heavenly Father should include our desire to understand what He is requiring of us. And when we see in His Word that we need to make some adjustments or corrections, we need to make them, and He will reward us for doing so.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Can He Find You?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 12, 2023