Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

Never Judge A Book by Its Cover

One Saturday afternoon, while I was parked at the grocery store and still sitting in my car, my oldest daughter nudged me as I was busy searching for my grocery list in my purse. “Ma, look at him! Oh, my goodness! He’s absolutely gorgeous! I hope my husband looks like that!” She said. This man was impeccable. The grooming, the styling, the smile—mesmerizing. It was almost as if he walked in slow motion so that we could take in every ounce of his handsomeness. Instantly you assume that someone that pretty on the outside is equally so on the inside. You can’t judge a book by its cover. This is a lesson that maturity and a few heartaches under your belt will teach you. I schooled my daughter with the same wisdom I received from my mother; looks aren’t everything, it’s the heart of a person that you want to see. But like many of us, sometimes we learn this lesson the hard way.

The cover of a book typically gives us an indication or an inkling about its contents. It often evokes an emotional response from us. The cover is supposed to whet our appetites and make us curious and excited to read what’s inside the cover. It shouldn’t be lost on us that sometimes the cover is misleading. We open the book, begin to read its contents, and may find that the inside is quite different from the outside. The outside may be incredibly appealing, but the inside may pale in comparison. So, although some books are as exhilarating and interesting as their covers, some are not, and that can be disappointing.

In the Old Testament, Saul was appointed the first king of God’s people, the children of Israel. From all accounts, his exterior was very pleasing to the eye. He was strong and virile, and looked like one would expect a king to look. Samuel, God’s prophet, was very fond of King Saul, and for a time, Saul followed God’s statutes and led the people as God instructed, but this changed. Saul began to think that he knew better than God, and he started to do things his own way. Of course, Heavenly Father found this unacceptable and rejected Saul as king of Israel. God selected another king, and Samuel the prophet was saddened because of his fondness for Saul.

God told him in 1Samuel 16:1(NLT), “Now the LORD said to Samuel, “You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king.” Saul had the right cover—he looked the part of a king, but the content of his heart was disappointing. Again, Samuel had grown very fond of him and was attached to Saul so to speak, so much so that he mourned over God’s rejection of Saul. We can understand this so well, because sometimes we meet someone who is attractive, and their looks draw us in. After we get to know them better, it might be clear that their character isn’t as attractive as their exterior, but we develop an attachment. We want them in our lives, but deep down, we know this isn’t a person that can walk with us through life.

When Samuel saw one of Jesse’s sons that was striking and virile, he thought surely he was the one. Again, he was making a character judgment that was based on the exterior and not on the interior. In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), the Lord told Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Our Heavenly Father is schooling us on His standard for choosing what is best. It’s about the heart.

Samuel obeyed God because he knew that God always knows best. You and I must have this confidence towards God in our hearts as well. We must have faith that not only does God know what is in our hearts, but He knows what’s in the heart of the person we choose. Sometimes, the wrong things are in that person’s heart, and they will end up causing us great harm or causing us to miss the blessings God wants to give us. When it comes to dating and finding the right person for us, surrendering our decision making to the guidance of the Lord is the very best thing we can do. It can be fun and exciting to look at the cover of a beautiful book, but we shouldn’t invest our time and energy into reading it unless God tells us the contents are as pleasing to Him as the cover.■

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Never Judge A Book By Its Cover”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 28, 2022
A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future

Proverbs 31:10(NLT) says, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” I absolutely love this scripture, and I’m sure many of you do as well. I have often referenced it in my offerings because it is so awesomely impactful to Godly womanhood. It’s a very simple verse to understand, and because of this, many of us have mistakenly glossed over its potential to expand our faith. When it comes to the challenges of being unmarried and finding a compatible partner, this verse in its wonderful simplicity answers any questions we might have. God tells us that a good woman is hard to find. If she’s hard to find, she’s not in the usual places. She’s where a good man will be looking and expecting to find her.

Proverbs 14:1(NLT) states, “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” In the modern times in which we now live, and in many circles, a woman that prioritizes building a home is looked upon as old fashioned, old school, and out of step with the reality of modern feminism. Learning to cook a meal, to tidy up her home and keep it presentable, and to prioritize Godliness are sacred to the ministry of a woman, but most folks these days don’t view it this way. Our Heavenly Father is not concerned with how the world views His Word. He is, on the other hand, very concerned with how believers view it. In 2Timothy 2:15, God commands us to show ourselves approved before Him. He then goes on to tell us exactly how His approval is achieved. He tells us to be good workers who rightly divide and handle the Word of Truth.

In Luke 6:47-49, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ clarifies the difference between a good worker and a poor worker. A good worker, according to the teaching of Christ, is a person that listens to his teaching and follows it. A good worker is a builder that lays a foundation of solid rock and then builds the house upon it. When the floodwaters and storms come against the good builder’s house, that house will stand no matter what. A poor worker hears the Word of God but doesn’t obey. A poor worker doesn’t believe that God’s Word is the truth and therefore builds a house without a foundation. When floodwaters and storms come against it, this house collapses into one big mess.

A woman that is wise will build the foundation of her home on Jesus Christ and the Word of God, so that no matter what the enemy throws her way, her house will not be divided but will stand. A wise woman doesn’t make worldly assumptions about what it means to be a good woman. She turns to God and prays that He will teach her His requirements so she can meet them.

When a woman is busy being obedient to the Father’s Will and Word, a good man will know exactly where to find her. We’re not perfect, but God’s plan is perfect, His Word is perfect, and He is perfect. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t miss a beat. When we make it our business to build our house on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ, the Lord will take care of presenting a man that is everything we need him to be. God has given us perfect tools, perfect building material, and perfect instructions. We can’t wait until we meet the man to start using them. We must demonstrate to the Lord that we trust that He will provide us with a good man. We must show Him that we are backing our faith by being wise and doing everything we can to spiritually prepare for the future, and we’re doing it right now.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 21, 2022
Out with the Old and In with the New

Isaiah 43:19(NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

My conversation with a dear sister in Christ led me to really draw nearer to this verse of scripture in Isaiah 43. My sister-friend recently had a breakup with her significant other, and she was feeling the sting of his absence in her life. I knew she was hurting, and I counseled her as best any good Christian friend would – with the love of Christ and with truth. I told her not to dwell in that space of hurt for too long and try not to be in touch with her ex if possible.

There is never going to be a set time on how long it takes for someone to get over a breakup. It may take a few weeks, a few months and for some, it may take much longer; it is also why the verse in Isaiah 43 resonates so much with me, and I pray it does with you. Through His prophet, God told His people, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” When He told His people this, they were in one of the worst tribulation experiences that any human have. They were in bondage. They had lost their prominence, their possessions, and their place of dwelling. Their eyes were so closed to possibility that all they could see was the gloom of their situation. God was telling them to open their eyes to His power, because His masterful plan for them was already turning things around. This is the same eye-opening hope and faith that you and I must have in God.

God lets us know without any shadow of doubt that He does a new thing in our lives daily. Not just once a month or once a year, but every single day of our lives. Even when it comes down to the sinful behavior we may commit while in our relationships, God is quick to blot them out as soon as we ask for His forgiveness. He remembers our sins no more, and He told His people in Isaiah 43:25(NLT), “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” He lets us know so lovingly that He is not like us. He doesn’t look at us through the same lens as others or even the way we look at ourselves. God sees the Christ in us and never looks on the impurities of our sinful souls. He wants us to also see ourselves in this way—as brand new!

The Apostle Paul said in Galatian 6:14-15(MSG), “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!” When we’re brand new, we don’t give up hope because of something that went wrong in the past. Instead, we celebrate newness because we have faith that God is always up to something good, and He is always doing something new for, with, and in us. Our attitude should continually be ‘out with the old and in with the new!’

I’m sure many of us wish we could just wake up one morning and every hurtful circumstance or bad behavior would just vamoose out of our memory completely. But it doesn’t matter to God how many bad memories we have or how many wrong choices in men we’ve made, Heavenly Father’s love for us is infinitely higher than we could ever imagine. He wants us to be forever fulfilled with an abundance of love and happiness, this is what is most important to Him. He is greater than any mistake we can make, and His love will heal our hearts and cause us to be better than we ever imagined.

Sometimes we need a little help to understand that before we can embrace something new, we may need to let go of some of our old patterns and behaviors. I recently went through my closet and got rid of some clothes and shoes that I no longer needed and wasn’t wearing. It instantly hit me that this is what many single people should do in their personal lives. Get rid of what you don’t need, those emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that do not help you increase in faith and love. Refuse to wear those things any longer! The point is to make room for something new. You just never know what God has working in the background. Don’t miss what He has for you by focusing on what has passed. Shift your attention and focus to the new that God is bringing into your life and trust Him to guide you to it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Out with the Old and In with the New”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 14, 2022
A Hope That Is Not Deferred

Ephesians 4:21-24(NLT) instructs, “21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” This extraordinarily impactful passage points out two distinct dispensations and two distinct natures that are revealed to us in God’s Word. The two dispensations are the Law Administration and the Grace Administration. The two natures are the sinful or old nature which came from satan, and the new nature which Jesus Christ created. Those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are overwhelmingly blessed to be living in the Grace Administration, and we don’t have a choice about it, but where the two natures are concerned, it’s a little different. As born-again believers, we have both the old nature and the new nature, and we decide whether we’ll put on our new nature or slip back to our old sinful nature. But we should know that putting on our new nature created in Christ Jesus is the very best possible decision we can make.

Adam’s and Eve’s sin ushered in the Law administration. This is the dispensation where God revealed the Ten Commandments to help guide His people so they could remain blessed and covered by His provision and safety. God’s laws did something else that was pretty amazing. His laws revealed His nature. The laws put His brand of righteousness on full blast so that we would not only know more about His nature, but we could also recognize His goal for us. His goal for His children is to imitate His nature. Ephesians 5:1 tells us that we are to be imitators of God.

The problem with those living in Old Testament times was that sin was in their bodies. Sin was their nature and they just kept on sinning. Because of this, continual sacrifices needed to be offered to cover their sins so they could have a relationship with God, but it wasn’t the kind of relationship He wanted. Ephesians 4:22 says that the sinful nature corrupted the people and they craved sin, but Jesus Christ changed this for us. Because of his accomplishment on the cross, he created a new nature that is like God’s nature, and this nature is righteous and holy. This new nature that Christ created for us operates through God’s love. This means that God will not force us to put it on; it’s our choice.

The Spirit Renews
Ephesians 4:23 tells us to let the Spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes. You and I are to let the Spirit be at work in our minds and hearts. He helps us put on the thoughts and attitudes of Christ. As we release wrong thinking and behaviors, he helps us walk in our new nature and grow up in Christ. God commands us to read and study His Word and to spend time with Him in prayer. These practices permit the Spirit to enlighten the eyes of our understanding when it comes to God’s truth. He is not going to go inside our minds and hearts and immediately start throwing all the bad stuff out and putting the good stuff in. It’s a process. Once we make the effort to comprehend the truth, internally the Spirit gives us pathways to new thoughts and attitudes that are aligned with Christ. This is how we are transformed inside out, and it’s how we continue to spiritually grow as we walk in, with, and by the Spirit more and more each day.

We are new creations in Christ! Through him, we have the power to say ‘NO’ to our old sinful nature. The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:6(NLT), “But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.” Someone asked me, “Why is sin so harmful.” Well, sin doesn’t come from God, it comes from satan. It is rebellion against God’s Word and Will, and it takes us away from our spiritual relationship with Him and binds us to a slave relationship with satan through our flesh. Sin makes us slaves of darkness. Jesus Christ rescued us from darkness, and as children with a new nature like God’s, we should never go back to the slavery we were in.

God tells us in Galatians 5:1(MSG), “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” Listen, choosing to deny the flesh of what it wants is arguably one of the most challenging decisions any single Christian can make, but it’s a requirement if we want to be pleasing to God. And it is a requirement if we want to enjoy all that God has for us. All God’s blessings are contained in our new nature in Christ Jesus. If we are continually reaching back to those self-sabotaging patterns of the old nature, we’re not growing spiritually mature in Christ. Instead, we are injuring our souls, and harming our relationship with God. Heavenly Father demands that we have faith in His promises. If we remain obedient to His Word, He is faithful to reward us.

Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” Our hopes and dreams should be held in our hearts until the Lord brings them into fruition. Our faith keeps them incubated as we continue to do what the Lord requires. Hope is deferred when we keep hoping something will happen and it doesn’t. Is there anything more disappointing than this? It is indeed heartbreaking to raise our expectations about something, and it never materializes. Heavenly Father is not keeping it a secret that sometimes people hope for things that do not come to pass. He warns us about this so that we will avoid such an outcome. The way to avoid it is to abide by the Father’s Will and Word and do what He commands.

When your hopes become your dreams regarding the person that you’re interested in, you want this individual to grow to love you and want to establish a lasting commitment. Relationships require a lot from us, and you may be willing to make this big investment, but the other person may not be. Our old nature tells us that we’re in jeopardy of losing out and that this person holds the key to our hopes and dreams. Because of this, many of us give over ourselves to the person even more. God’s Word tells us to give ourselves over completely to Him through our new nature created in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the unfailing anchor of our hopes and dreams and trusting in Him is the way to make them a reality.

God will never give up on His plan to see us live through the example of Christ. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and shortcomings. He knows where we need to be fortified so that we make good, committed spouses who will always put Christ at the head of our marriages. If we don’t do it in other relationships, chances are that we probably won’t do it when we’re married. Now is the time to demonstrate our commitment to Godliness. Whether we’re in a relationship or outside of one, God wants us to be strong and courageous women in Christ. If we let Him take the lead and guide us on the path He has set for us, our hopes and dreams will not be deferred because we will live them every day of our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Hope That Is Not Deferred”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 7, 2022
You Know I’m Single…

An actor was being interviewed and jokingly asked if the host had a single family member or friend that she could meet. “You know I’m single.” She said. The host responded, “Every time you’ve been on our show, you’re always single, what gives?” It doesn’t matter if you’re a beautiful Hollywood actor, a professional, or a single mother trying to get back out there and juggle all the other responsibilities of life, the dating arena can be challenging to navigate. We’re all so different, and so are our needs, but the complexities of meeting someone that isn’t married and is actually looking for something meaningful seems almost too much to tackle. People are constantly saying that the special person for us is out there, but if that’s true, where are they hiding and why is it so difficult to find them?

Meeting the right person for our lives is a process of self-discovery. That sounds like a pitch right out of some guide to meeting your soul-mate, but as cheesy as it may sound, it’s true. The foundation of the process of self-discovery is first recognizing the truth about what ‘self’ means. Self-identity is Christ identity. People spend their whole lives trying to discover who they are, when God took care of that through Jesus Christ. Everything we need to know about who God created us to be can be found in Christ.

If you give it some thought, you’ll see that if we’re not quite sure who God created us to be or what we’re supposed to be doing on this earth, then there’s probably a big question mark branded on our foreheads. We can’t see it, but it’s there, and it shouldn’t be hard for us to understand that no one wants to get to know a question mark. People are looking for something real. A question mark suggests all the issues associated with not really knowing who you are—issues like poor judgment, lack of confidence, and an inability to truly and deeply be loyal and committed. As sisters in the Lord, we wouldn’t want someone like this as a marital partner, so we must make sure there’s no trace of it in us.

There isn’t anything about us that God doesn’t know. Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us that before He made the world, He already loved us and chose us to be His very own. God wants us to be holy because He is holy. Holiness envelopes the bond of unity we share with Him. Our Heavenly Father tailor made us to fit into His wonderful plan. For a long time, before we knew Christ, we didn’t know about God’s plan or how we fit into it. We were lost—just didn’t have a clue who we were supposed to be, but God’s love began to unfold in our lives when we accepted Christ. The problem is that many of us stopped short. We haven’t allowed God’s blueprint to spread out, so we can study the full view. Instead, we got just a glimpse and started to run with our assumptions. So, for many single and unmarried individuals, self-discovery has not come to full maturity. God is telling them that there’s still more they need to learn about Jesus Christ before they can partner successfully.

Thousands of years ago, God knew that there would be a multitude of single women praying to Him for a good man. Even back then He considered the challenges for our modern times. We have to remember that He knows the end at the very beginning. You can be confident that He knows all the details of how you will finally meet the man that you’ve prayed for. And make no mistake, He also knows what it will take for you to get in position for this blessing as well.

God is an Excellent Giver. He doesn’t give gifts to those that are not ready to receive them or who lack the ability and well of gratitude to steward and be thankful for them. Heavenly Father is perfect in every way. The special person for us isn’t hiding. They are preparing, just as we should be. God has made sure there are enough spouses for those seeking to honor the institution of marriage. Not every man can be a husband, just as not every woman can be a wife. It takes a humble, forgiving, loving and committed human being to be truly ready to partner with another human being in marriage. Dating is easy, but marriage requires stability and truth.

Joshua 1:8(NLT) tells us, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” God wants His children to be fulfilled, happy and successful, and He’s left it up to us to make it happen for ourselves through His Word. He tells us in Romans 6:13(NLT), “Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.” This is God’s requirement. He wants us to be married and partnered up more than we desire it for ourselves. Keeping His Word is paramount to our success.

As we study God’s Word, we can see that He never overlooks a promise. He is faithful to keep His Word. He has promised to bless us, but He is also committed to see us fulfill our purpose. He is committed to see us capture our destinies according to His Will and Plan. As unmarried people, we have to go to Heavenly Father with a deeply humbled heart and do so in the most earnest way that we know. We must ask Him what more we need to do in order to fit into His plan. We must ask Him what part of our old man nature we need to take off, so we can walk more fully in Christ. Then, we must wait on God as He unveils the answers to these questions. God knows you are single, and He will take care of every detail regarding meeting your destiny partner but seeking Him must remain your primary motivation and you must be committed to follow His guidance. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Know I’m Single…”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 31, 2022
More Than What You Asked for

A close sister in Christ was very upset when she told me the man that she’s been dating over a year informed her he wanted to take a break. Immediately my heart went out to her, because I know oh too well the heartbreaking emotions she’s going through. Many of us have been blindsided this way, and you feel as though your love and the energy you put in the relationship was taken for granted. You might even begin to question your decision-making when it comes to relationships with men. Hearing the pain in my sister-friend’s voice brought back memories I’d rather forget. Personally, I told the Lord that if it means having to deal with something like this in my life, I’m completely okay with it just being Him and me. I know from experience that when we make our relationship with God our number one priority, we can avoid painful breakups with a person that was never intended for us in the first place.

Heavenly Father wants all who desire marriage to have a beautiful union that is anchored in the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, it is God’s Will for us to have a strong marriage with a good spouse if that is what we desire. He will take care of all the details of this blessing if we trust and honor Him. We must wait upon the Lord in all things. When we don’t do this, and we try to rush things, we can become attached to someone who doesn’t have the same desire for marriage as we might, and this can be devastating. And I also know that such attachments become a significant hindrance when the desire and motivation to make God the central focus of your life isn’t a priority.

The psalmist said in Psalm 139:24(NLT), “Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” This is the heart that I always want to have for God and His Word. A person has to take some knocks in life sometimes before they will understand that without God, nothing works. We can’t do anything without Him, and He demands to be first in our lives, because He cannot ever be second in anything. He’s the One True God, Alpha and Omega. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. Everything we do in life must indicate we understand who He is, and everything we do must signal heaven and everything beneath it that we are humbled before our Almighty God.

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is more than a commandment; it is the foundation upon which anything that we desire to last in life must be built. Healing begins and newness is ushered into a person’s life when they can acknowledge they’ve not been as faithful to God as they should. Then they can take the necessary actions to remedy this, but we can’t keep doing the same things and expect a different result.

In 1Kings 3:9(NLT), it is evident that King Solomon had a heart to put God first when he asked Heavenly Father, “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” This pleased God very much, because the humility to seek Him and to serve righteously was apparent in Solomon. God replied in 1Kings 3:11-13(NLT), “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” This passage demonstrates for us the way in which God blesses when we seek Him and His righteousness first.

Our hiccups and mistakes teach us righteousness. God does not cause them, but in order for us to usher in His grace and restoration, we must do as the psalmist said and ask Him to point out anything that offends Him in our lives. It is a very common and evil plot of the devil to weaponize relationships against us. Although it can be troubling to admit to ourselves, we provide the devil the ammunition he is looking for. As we spiritually mature, we learn from experience that the devil gets in where there’s an opening. We would do well to remain prayerful and humble before the Father so He can help us through His Holy Spirit to close that opening. The thing to do is to not close our eyes to it, because if we do, we will be outsmarted.

I’ve mentioned often that I’ve heard many women ask the question “How much longer is God going to take before I meet my husband?” It’s a question that all of us can understand and sympathize with, especially for women who’ve prayed a long time and are still unmarried. It’s probably one of the most frustrating areas in a single woman’s life. But there’s no secret to this. God must be first in our hearts and minds. There is no compromising on this standard. It’s a must. So, we have to ask if we’ve put the energy, effort, and focus in our relationship with God that we’ve put in our pursuit of a relationship with a man. The right answer lies in the reality that we should always invest more in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ than we do in any other. He tells His people in Jeremiah 29:11-14(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “11 They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the LORD.” This is true for those of us living today.

The man that my friend was dating may have faked his commitment to her and led her to believe he was all in when he wasn’t. We’ve seen how hurtful and disappointing it is when we are treated this way. When it comes to God, we must make absolutely sure that we never attempt to do this to Him. He must have first place in our lives, and when He does, we will know it, because He will give us more than what we asked for. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“More Than What You Asked For”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 24, 2022
When Love Is Not on Automatic

Colossians 2:7(NLT) tells us, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” This scripture tells us God’s goal for us as His sons and daughters. Our roots should grow down into Christ. What are our roots? Our roots are the aspects of our being that keep us connected to God through Jesus Christ. They include the mind and heart. God commands us to put the knowledge and wisdom of His Word in our minds and hearts, because both have the capacity to nourish and strengthen all the other areas of our lives. When the roots of a tree are nourished, the trunk is unmovable, and all the other parts of the tree are strong as well. This is a good analogy of how we become firmly rooted and anchored in Christ and grow strong in his love. When we keep our roots growing down into Christ, we can be the kind of spouses God desires, and through us, He can keep our marriages secure in the unity of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-26(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” The love that Jesus Christ has for the church is the kind of love women should want to see from the significant person in their lives. Christ sacrificed everything because of his great love for us, and God is telling us that, as women, we should have an expectation that our husbands will demonstrate this same quality of love. They may not be perfect at it, but they will continually grow better at loving us because of our commitment to put Christ first. This kind of relationship is available, because if it wasn’t, God would not have told us so. You will know that you’ve got a good catch when the significant person in your life sacrifices for your benefit and well-being; and you should be willing to do the same.

It’s no secret that we’ve seen a decline in quality relationships, the kind that endure hardships and last a lifetime. We have also witnessed a decline in the level of respect, honor, and appreciation that men and women have for one another. The problem is a spiritual one, and the solution begins with prayer. Each of us has a responsibility to pray that God will open the eyes of people so they can make greater room in their hearts for His love. People are turning their backs on God; therefore, they are turning their backs on His love. This is the major contributing factor in finding compatible mates. We need to pray that globally people will be transformed by God’s love, and that they will hand over the lordship of their marital relationships to Jesus Christ.

Human beings will always seek to be rooted and grounded in something, because God created us with a nature that seeks connection. We thrive from our connection to God through Jesus Christ, and we are also fulfilled through our connections with others. The issues arise when we seek to be rooted and grounded in the man rather than in the Lord Jesus Christ. When we do this, we remove Christ from his rightful position as Lord over our lives. Sometimes, we make this decision unconsciously. Slowly, we place our spiritual walk in Christ on the backburner and put the needs of the man first. Many of us do this because we think the connection to the man will fortify and nurture those places that feel empty and void within us. We must realize that only the Lord Jesus Christ can fill up our empty places.

Heavenly Father wants us to have successful and lasting marriages. Unity is crucial to moving God’s agenda forward, and unity starts at home. A successful and unified home life is a solid foundation where many treasures for the Kingdom can be stored up. So, we should never doubt that God desires this for us, because He does, but His love absolutely must be at the helm of our marriages and every other thing we set out to do.

1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT) says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” It’s God’s Will that two individuals in a relationship be there for one another, but this isn’t permission to let our emotions and feelings get out of control or to make the relationship our whole world. It is a very delicate balance, because we want to please our partners so much, but spiritual maturity in Christ demands that we handle this balance in a way that puts God first. When we ask Heavenly Father to bless us with one of His treasures, we should be asking with both the commitment to Christ and the blessing we want to receive in mind. In other words, we should already know that the blessing we desire will require us to increase spiritually. This is necessary to remain good stewards of God’s blessings. Increasing spiritually is necessary for us to exercise Christ authority, so that whatever the difficulty and no matter the issues we encounter in the relationship, these challenges will not get the best of us.

When we’re not rooted and grounded in the love of Jesus Christ, some women will latch on to relationships with men for dear life. Then, when the man disappoints them, or worse, betrays the relationship, they are devastated to the point of collapse. Some women never get over the hurt, but deal with it through bitterness and fear, which paralyzes their spiritual growth in Christ. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for any of us.

Rather than spending energy blaming the other person or holding resentment towards them, we can make a better choice. As a spiritually mature person, we are required to understand that our own personal brand of love isn’t on automatic and often shuts down when things get ugly. Our brand of love is conditional. When things go south, sometimes our love goes with them. We forget all about our brand of love, and we will get low, go toe to toe, cut the fool, and behave as if we don’t know any better. This doesn’t happen with the love of Christ. 1Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that the love of God in Christ is patient and kind. It doesn’t insist on its own way, isn’t irritable or resentful, and it never gives up. Relationships have a way of reminding us of the ‘old man’ nature, and how much of it has seeped into our unions. We have to remind ourselves that the ‘old man’ nature was crucified with Christ. Then we must choose to remain in the love of Christ which makes us complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Only God’s love can keep a relationship thriving. When we’re faced with those difficult relationship issues, it can be very challenging to kick our Christ identity in high gear, but it gets a whole lot easier if we’re rooted and grounded in his love. The greatest thing we can do as unmarried people is to use our time wisely by doing what is required to be anchored in an intimate relationship with God. We must do the things necessary to be rooted in Christ. Our commitment and trust must be solidified first in our relationship with him, then our faith in God’s love, provision, and care will never be shaken or doubted for any reason. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When Love Is Not on Automatic”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 17, 2022
Thrilled About Your Faith in God

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and it is the evidence of things not seen. Even though you and I can’t reach out and physically touch faith, our faith is all the evidence we need. It’s the title deed to the thing we’ve prayed to receive. Even though that thing hasn’t yet materialized in the natural realm, it’s ours if we trust the Lord and move according to what He’s told us. In other words, faith is the assurance that the thing we’ve prayed to God to receive in the name of Jesus Christ is on its way. Supernaturally, we’ve received it in Christ, and Ephesians 1:3 tells us so. In this verse, God declares that we’ve been blessed with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places because of our union with Christ. We can see from God’s Word that faith is a very powerful spiritual reality, and God has given it to every person. Faith in Jesus Christ should inspire every single or unmarried woman to wake up each day with the hope that even though she’s single in status, it is only temporary because she has faith in God.

Faith is confidence, and confidence will require our minds and hearts to work together. God instructs us repeatedly in His Word to renew our minds and to guard our hearts. He created us in such a way that we have three parts, a human-spirit, a human-soul, and a human-body. Our human-spirit is the highest part of us because it is the part that allows us to connect to God. God is a Spirit, and we commune with Him spirit-u-ally. We must worship Him in spirit and in truth. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The thing that we sometimes overlook is that faith requires that our souls and bodies submit to our born-again human spirit. Our human-spirit is the dwelling place of the gift of Holy Spirit. He, the Holy Spirit, lives inside our human-spirit, and the two are in continual fellowship and communion.

Romans 8:16(NLT) says, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” The Spirit is doing a work on the inside of us. Our flesh is unclean and sinful but our human-spirit was recreated when we became born again. The born-again human-spirit is perfect, and this is the part of us that helps us receive from the Holy Spirit and walk in his power. The best thing we can do during some part of our day is shut off all the other noises, get quiet, and stay our minds on Jesus Christ. Our days can be very hectic, and we sometimes get out of sorts, but this doesn’t happen with the born-again human-spirit. It is completely submitted to the Holy Spirit, and it is our responsibility to submit our bodies to the will of our human-spirits and not to the will of the soul, which only wants to pleasure the flesh.

Exercising the faith muscle is like exercising the physical body. The mind must be in agreement with the human-will and the human-body in order to actually begin a workout and see results. Faith is a potent reality. The spirit, soul, and body must all be on board to access the power of the Holy Spirit. Faith is the Spirit’s fruit, and everything about us must be in harmony with him, the Spirit; for this is the only way to be in harmony with God’s Word and to see our faith produce results!

This is the pattern Jesus Christ left for us. He said in John 8:29(NLT) “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ never did anything that did not please the Father. Jesus walked in the Spirit every second of every day. He was in constant communion with God through the Holy Spirit. We must be as well. We desperately need the Spirit’s help to lead a successful Christian life. Just as Jesus started his days with prayer and submitting to the Holy Spirit, we must do the same thing.

James 2:26(NLT) says, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Many single or unmarried women who are desiring to be married have read this verse and believed that they’ve got to go out and start doing all kinds of new things to get a man. They sign up for dating sites, change their hair style or hair color, buy a new wardrobe, or buy a new car. They do all these things thinking this will draw the blessing they desire. They believe these things will equate to the ‘good works’ that James 2:26 is referring to. Then, when things don’t work out as they had hoped, they are perplexed and saddened, thinking nothing works.

Faith is a supernatural substance. It is spiritual, and it requires us to respond to God spiritually through the example of Christ. Romans 10:17 cosigns this by telling us that faith comes by hearing/perceiving the Word of God. We’ve got to hear God’s Word, believe it, then do what it says. This is a spiritual action that signifies we believe what the Lord has told us. Before a person believes in faith for marriage, they must believe in faith to hear God on the matter. That just makes sense.

Faith is spiritual. It belongs to God. If we expect to see the results of our faith to any degree, we must ask the Owner of it to direct us. Jesus Christ didn’t do anything without hearing from God first. As a single/unmarried person, you can’t do anything without hearing from God about how, when, and where you should move. We must never try to get ahead of the Holy Spirit. Doing so is a big mistake.

Abraham is the Father of our believing. He was fully-persuaded that God would keep and perform His promises. Abraham made a few mistakes, but his life really took off when he began to understand that he couldn’t make a move unless Heavenly Father told him to make it first. James 2:22-24(NLT) sums it up beautifully for us. Regarding Abraham, this passage tells us, “22 You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. 24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.” This is the kind of uniformity of purpose that God demands. It comes from being attentive to His voice and listening for His directives, for He is sure to give them. Abraham heard the directive from God, then moved in faith. This is the only successful pattern for a believer.

Many of us are thrilled about the possibility of getting married, but are you equally thrilled about listening for God’s directives and actually receiving them from Him? Are you thrilled about your faith in God? You should be, because it is the most exciting journey we can imagine. Faith in God through Jesus Christ is where the action is. When we are in harmony with God’s plan for our lives, we can be confidently guided through the Holy Spirit and walk in faith. God doesn’t miss a beat, not ever! He hasn’t left one tiny fraction of a detail to chance when it comes to your life. He just needs you to trust His plan and to allow Him to guide and direct you in it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Thrilled About Your Faith in God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 10, 2022
Jesus Christ Can Provide the Rest You Need

In Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “28 Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” ‘Weary and heavy burdened’ is the way many single women would describe how they’ve been feeling lately. This passage in Matthew 11:28-30 demonstrates that our Lord and Savior knows our pain, and He offers us comfort. Not having a significant person in their lives during the pandemic has impacted single believers in ways they couldn’t have anticipated, and some single women are more emotionally exhausted than they’ve ever been. They desperately desire rest and would like to feel it in the security and companionship of a compatible partner.

Our precious Lord and Savior knows what it is to be truly alone. He was abandoned by even his closest friends, but we don’t see anywhere in God’s Word where Jesus Christ allowed feelings of loneliness to keep him from pursuing God’s purpose. In truth, he said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” There were many situations where Jesus Christ could have given into feelings of sadness, loneliness, and disappointment, but he never did. He took authority over his emotions because he knew his identity; he knew who he was, and he knew his mission. He told the disciples in John 16:32(NIV), “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” We must keep in mind that when the Savior said this, he knew the suffering of the cross was near, yet his confidence was firmly anchored in God. When it comes to our own spiritual preparation for God’s blessings, we must demonstrate Christ authority as well.

Jesus Christ is our rest and our encouragement. He makes it extremely clear that developing the same level of confidence, strength, and love in our relationship with Heavenly Father as he did is a must. There is no question that many of us have grown weary of facing life’s challenges without a partner by our sides. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, and the emotional battles that come with loneliness, but God’s grace never runs out. Just as God was with Christ, He is with you, and rest assured that He is preparing you for the blessing you seek. But the truth remains that we cannot neglect or cast aside the lessons about God’s love that every unmarried person is required to learn.

These have been without a doubt very challenging times, and the reality that you may have had to go through them without a partner should reveal to you something very important. It means that you were provided the opportunity to cling to God as never before and to increase the intimacy in your relationship with Him. We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know that it will require a greater walk of faith. It will require us to have a level of courage, trust, and strength in the Lord that sustains us come what may. Often, this fortress of spiritual depth is what God is building in our inner man so that we have what it takes to maintain the blessings He has in store.

God is perfect and His plan for our lives is perfect too. The question we have to ask ourselves is if we really appreciate what God is doing for us. He has showered us in His blessings, and we really do have to examine whether we have taken the time to appreciate how His blessings have literally shaped and molded our lives. He has brought us this far. He alone has preserved us. Because of this, our trust in His plan should be unwavering. We should have a posture of rest as He prepares us and as He prepares our future spouses as well.

1John 4:12(NLT) tells us, “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” Remain focused on the reality continually that God’s love must come to full bloom in your heart. It’s not about your brand of love. Only HIS love is real and true. Without the knowledge and commitment to love through Jesus Christ, we have no foundation. We have no foundation without God’s Will. We have no foundation without God’s Word. As a single person preparing to receive one of God’s treasures, you must be anchored in God’s foundation. This isn’t negotiable. It is a must. God is love, and we must abide in Him and rest in Him through Jesus Christ. Then, when it’s our season to bloom, we will manifest His love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Jesus Christ Can Provide the Rest You Need”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 3, 2022
Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

Do you think it’s a good idea to contact an old boyfriend just to say hello? This is what a sister-friend did recently, and she’s starting to regret she ever made that decision. Initially, she thought it’d be okay since the two of them ended their relationship on good terms. Their last conversation had been pleasant, and she thought it wouldn’t hurt to check in. Anyone that’s ever been lonely knows that it can mess with your head sometimes. But even so, we should never let anything persuade us to try and make dead things be useful. It hardly ever works, but loneliness can trick us into throwing wisdom out the door, and we find all kinds of excuses to justify doing so. My sister-friend said to me, “Kim, God is not going to do for me what I can do for myself.” This way of thinking was the permission she gave herself to text him.

Like my friend, many single women can’t imagine continuing to wait for companionship. Most believers understand that God is delighted to bless His people. Romans 8:32(NLT) says, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Psalm 84:11 affirms God’s sovereignty and light. It tells us that He is our sun and shield, that He is generous in His gifts and glory, and He will not withhold any good thing from those that live righteously before Him. This is wonderful assurance and comfort to us as believers.

God wants us to have faith in Him, and to trust the Words of our Master Jesus when he taught us in Mark 10:27 that with God all things are possible. Our faith must be firmly anchored in God through Christ, and of this there can be no doubt, but Heavenly Father wants us to know the difference between standing in faith and doing things to get ahead of it.

Spiritual maturity in Christ requires that we know that our boundaries and timing are set by the Father. He appointed the time of our births, and He knows our days upon this earth. Nothing about us escapes our Heavenly Father. He knows every detail of our existences, and He never misses a beat. We are not an island to ourselves. We are not on our own. All that we are is in Christ and we can’t do anything without him. If God’s Will is our motivation in life, the proof of our heart’s motivation will be our desire to link only with those God has ordain.

Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ only did those things that pleased God. The logical question for you and me is “how did he know?” How did Jesus Christ know what pleased God? The answer to this question is that he read and studied God’s Word, and he was in constant prayer and communion with Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit. Jesus came to the earth to show us how to do this. Through his life and ministry, he taught us how to cling to God and walk in fellowship with Him so that we have confidence that our moves are ones the Father would have us to make.

Jesus Christ also said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” Jesus Christ is providing a window for us to see what it looks like to move by the impetus of the Holy Spirit. If he, the only begotten Son of the Living God, said that he can’t do anything by himself, then certainly we ought to know we can’t do anything by ourselves either. Jesus did what he saw the Father doing. If He didn’t see the Father doing it, he didn’t do it. This is the level of commitment that God must see in us.

We can’t say that we have faith God will bless us with a good and Godly spouse and then not have faith that He will show us when, how, and what to do to move in alignment with what He has ordained. When it comes to something as important to our lives as a compatible and worthy partner to walk with us through life, God would not leave it to chance. My friend didn’t place her faith in the reality of this truth. After speaking with her ex-boyfriend, she felt relieved that he didn’t meet her with opposition, but he also didn’t give her any indication that he was happy that she reached out to him. She ended the conversation with him the same way she started it—taking ten steps backwards instead of moving forward. She came away feeling rejected because her ex didn’t respond to her other texts. This kind of situation can always be avoided.

Understand that Heavenly Father wants us to move from blessing to blessing, with the abundance of overflow in every area of our lives. God only wants what is best for us, and He made provision for all His children long before any of us were born. There is no doubt that we have been pressing in to receive the great desires of our hearts, but our prayers must come in alignment with what GOD has planned. He is faithful and He cannot fail. Pray that He will establish within you everything that is required for your own spiritual growth and maturity. If you allow Him, He will ready you for what He has in store, so that your gifts and abilities are sharpened. When you let HIM prosper you, everything will fall beautifully in place. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Taking Ten Steps Backward Instead of Forward”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 26, 2022