Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

  • The WE Project

    The WE Project

    Psalm 127:1(NLT)
    “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.”

    Over the years, I’ve seen and enjoyed the many wonderful blessings that the Lord has given me. He’s brought people into my life to bless me, and I’ve also watched people walk out of my life. Sometimes, certain people chose to leave, and it was painful to watch and experience, but I realized that it was also a very necessary thing. Like everyone else’s, my life is a work in progress. It’s a project that I’m working with the Lord to perfect. When I try to take the lead and make decisions and choices on my own, things don’t work out. But I’ve learned, and sometimes learned the hard way, that when I allow the Lord to lead, guide, and direct me, I’m never disappointed with the results. If I meet someone new, rather than assuming they are a blessing, I surrender it to the Lord. I pray to be guided by Him and allow Him the space to confirm that they are indeed a blessing. And if they aren’t, I thank God and ask Him to keep them moving along their merry way.

    It’s challenging for some of us to do this. We’re wired to desire companionship, and when we meet someone new that seems to be nice, we prematurely assume he’s the one we’ve been waiting for. This isn’t always the case. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we can avoid costly mistakes. Our Heavenly Father is not slack in any way and nothing slips by Him. Isaiah 45:15 declares that He works in mysterious ways. He opens some doors, and He keeps other doors closed for good. We should be incredibly thankful for how He guides us. If we seek Him, God will close the door before we become invested in relationships that are sent by the devil to cause great harm. Sometimes, it’s not immediately apparent to us what is happening, but if we will just be patient and give things time, God will make them plain and steer us in the right direction.

    The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NLT), “The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” This verse is so beautiful, and it should instill such confidence in us regarding God’s careful watch over His children. We are in partnership with Heavenly Father. We are in Christ, and Christ is in us. Our lives are a “WE” project that is orchestrated and led by God. It’s the Father and us, working together to achieve His purpose. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” He is at work within, and He’s communicating with our human spirit through His Holy Spirit. The information He communicates is all about leading us in the direction of the best that we can receive.

    Philippians 2:13 doesn’t mean that God is inside controlling us like puppets. He’s giving us direction and guidance, but it is up to us to follow it. He tells us to renew our minds to His Word, to read and study it so it becomes a part of us. We do this in order to get our minds and hearts on board with the direction we have received from Him. In the WE Project of our lives, we must be fully surrendered to God through Jesus Christ. Our faith must be such that “if God says it, then it is the absolute best for my life!” because He never makes a mistake and everything that He does is perfect.

    There have been times when I didn’t trust God as I should. I had a plan in mind and set out to make it happen. I plowed ahead with a big dose of stubbornness and ended up making mistakes that could have been avoided. These mistakes and missteps allowed me to see that I don’t have all the answers. I can’t see the big picture that God sees, so there’s no way I can know the pitfalls and plots that satan will try to use to set me up and set me back. But trusting God is forever in my best interest. It’s our Father in Heaven that holds everything all together. Don’t get me wrong, we can make plans, but we must seek God before we execute them. When we seek Him for direction, through a nudge, Word, dream, or vision, we will receive what we need to change or stay the course.

    When I’m trying to make it a project of ‘me’ instead of ‘WE’,  or trying to make things happen out of my own strength and not inviting God’s wisdom, I find myself working harder and not smarter; I end up wasting time. So, these days, when I’m confused or feel insecure about the way I’m proceeding in life, I stop and ask God if He is pleased with what I’m doing. I take time to examine if I have removed Jesus Christ from the driver’s seat. What a blessing to know that every time we ask Heavenly Father what to do or how to proceed in life, He answers us so sweetly by offering to guide us through His love.

    Jesus Christ teaches us in John 15:5(NLT), “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” As single women desiring marriage, we must realize that when we try to take matters into our own hands and make things happen, they will not turn out the way we expect. Sometimes the result is that we will have taken several steps backward instead of forward. Things will turn into nothing when we don’t allow Jesus Christ to steer our lives. God is sure to finish the ‘WE Project’ that He started in us through Jesus Christ. We must never doubt this. Total re-programing of our thoughts and attitudes in order to let God take the lead in everything we do; this is what’s required. We must immerse ourselves in our oneness with Him through Jesus Christ. He has heard our prayers, and He will cause all things to work together for our benefit according to His perfect and divine timing. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The WE Project”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Will Is for Two to Become One

    God’s Will Is for Two to Become One

    1 Corinthians 7:3-5(NLT)

    “3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

    5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

    There’s no need to tiptoe around it. The question that is on the minds of many single women that desire marriage is when it will happen. Part of encouraging one another towards the goal of marrying well is to speak the truth in love. There are some subjects that believers have been known to tiptoe around, and one of them is physical intimacy in the marital relationship. It’s a deeply private issue, but also a very necessary and natural discussion to have, especially before you get married. God said in Genesis 2:24(NKJV), “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” We need to have a serious conversation with God about becoming one with the man that He desires to walk with us through life. The habits we’ve developed, and the expectations and incorrect beliefs we have around God’s plan for becoming one, will need to be addressed before we take that walk down the aisle.

    Quite frankly, for many singles, the habits they’ve developed when it comes to satisfying the flesh are ones that were adopted from society. It’s so far from God’s Word that people don’t even believe they can be married to one person for life anymore. They assume divorce is inevitable, and that on a whim people are free to fall out of love as quickly as they fall in love. This isn’t the ‘becoming one’ that God had in mind. His grace is sufficient toward us, and He forgives our shortcomings, but we can never place ourselves or our own personal agendas above God’s standard.

    Our faith towards marriage can’t be built on what society says, because that’s not faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It comes by the truth, so if we abdicate God’s standard, we no longer have the truth, and a person cannot have faith if they don’t believe and trust the truth. God’s Word is the only solid foundation that exists, and if we try to build a marriage without it, we’re in trouble.

    One of the things we’re witnessing is that there is a tremendous amount of people who believe that God will reward them when they haven’t walked according to His Word. We can’t pretend to be committed to God; we must really be committed to Him. We have to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. So, if we are truly honoring God’s standard of becoming one with the man we will marry, we must repent from becoming one with men that we didn’t marry.

    To repent is to have a change of heart and mind. It’s to completely change the way we’re thinking and believing about something so that our thoughts, feelings, and actions line up with the example of Jesus Christ.

    Our Heavenly Father ordained that a husband and wife become one before Him. You and I have no other choice but to conclude that He did this because it was very important to His plan. When we step outside the boundaries of what He has ordained, repentance is critically necessary. Heavenly Father wants to give us the blessing we greatly desire, but He cannot reward us if our hearts are too stubborn and arrogant to recognize we need to repent. He wants to help us lay up treasures so that we don’t allow the enemy to continue to steal from us. There must be within us a Godly sorrow for not doing as the Father commanded, for it is in this deep place of remorse for our actions against His Will that we can also accept His forgiveness.

    Whether married or waiting to meet our husbands, we must not allow satan to tempt us with a lack of self-control. Our desire to please God must be greater than our desire for any other thing, because this speaks to our commitment to Him. Throughout God’s Word, He continually reminds His people to be holy and committed so He can bless them. He’s very willing to aid us and has placed His Spirit within the born-again believer to guide, teach, and comfort us. We must be settled and clear in our minds and hearts that physical intimacy was sanctioned by God for marriage. This is His standard, and nothing is comparable to God’s perfection. He never changes and He always tells us what pleases Him, and what pleases God is always best.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Will Is for Two to Become One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • He Was Not Meant to Be The One

    He Was Not Meant to Be The One

    When feelings of loneliness creep up on us, our response must be to immediately renew our minds to the promises of God. Loneliness can be a lure that the adversary uses to sabotage our ability to make wise choices and decisions. There are situations and circumstances that the devil designs to remove us from the path of God’s blessings. We’ve all heard about those “Wham!!!” moments in life where things are going smoothly, and life is good, then wham! Something totally out of the blue happens and causes us to take a nosedive into the abyss of confusion and trouble. This happened to a woman I know who had been wonderfully blessed in her professional life. A beautiful home, nice car, nice things; she enjoyed a really comfortable life, but she took it all for granted, and a wrong turn cost her almost everything.

    She met a man that she didn’t expect to meet, and it would be easy to blame him for all her troubles, because that’s what many of us do, but it started long before he arrived on the scene. He had all the right attributes that she wanted, and they seemed to be a good match. He’s an electrician and entrepreneur, and not only is he ambitious, he was generous with his advice and helpfulness. She assumed he was the one she had been praying about and waiting for, and she never waited for God to clarify it for sure.

    One of the common mistakes that many believers make is to underestimate the importance of showing God true gratitude and thankfulness for His many blessings. It’s true that we work hard to acquire nice things, but our Heavenly Father makes it all possible. As a demonstration of our gratitude to God, we must sow into His Kingdom, and we must be sure to take care of the blessings He’s given us. As single women believers that have been blessed to achieve success, it is wonderful to share it, but we need to be led by God’s Spirit so that we are wise about our decisions and choices. The man that we will bless greatly and who will bless us greatly is in God’s plan, and we should never overstep God’s leadership in this area.

    Galatians 5:16(NLT) tells us, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” For many women that have experienced the pain of loneliness from being single longer than they imagined, when they meet someone that seems to be a good fit, the inclination is to dive right in. It is important for us to realize that God wants to be involved in this area of our lives, and He will help us to steer clear of harm and disappointment if we allow Him.

    Although kind and helpful, the electrician was not the one in God’s plan for this woman’s life. She didn’t give herself time to really get to know him, and she didn’t wait on the Father. She didn’t know that this ambitious entrepreneur had tried lots of things in the past to become the millionaire he had always dreamed he’d be, and he was far too trusting of others. He convinced her to invest her money into a new venture of his, and they both were the worse for it.

    Psalm 27:14(NIV) tells us, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” It’s not always easy to pump the breaks, and to stop ourselves from emotionally investing so deeply in a man who is being attentive and kind, but we must understand that things can turn very quickly. We can’t be naïve. We must be spiritually mature enough to understand that satan is vicious and has no mercy, and he will use our willingness to leap before we look against us. We must wait for the Lord and be strong in our convictions to do so. God will not disappoint us if we do this. Psalm 25:3(NLT) says, “No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced.” Heavenly Father is faithful to protect us, but we must wait on His direction. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “He Was Not Meant to Be The One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

    God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

    Genesis 2:18(NLT)
    “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

    This verse in Genesis 2:18 is incredibly easy to understand, but as with many verses like it, we have the privilege of taking it apart to digest all its yumminess. As women of God that are praying to marry, we can’t afford to let the impact of what God has revealed to slip by us. God created Adam first, and this was not a coincidence or a random occurrence. God does everything with a purpose, and certainly the first human being that He created was prolific, deliberate, and specifically ordained for God’s sovereign Will and Plan. From this, you and I must conclude that Eve’s purpose, while very important to God, was not the same as Adam’s. There was no mistake or mishap in God’s planning. Eve was made to be a helper who was just right for Adam, but we’ve gotten so twisted around by the world’s agenda that we’re rejecting the truth, and many of us are in jeopardy of missing out on God’s blessing.

    A helper, as the word is used in Genesis 2:18, is translated as ‘one who helps’. This is a very beautiful distinction, because it is the same position and designation that our Heavenly Father assumes towards us. He helps us, and it is because we desperately need His help. The psalmist said about Heavenly Father in Psalm 121:1 (NKJV), “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help?” In Hosea 13:9(NKJV), God said to His people, “O Israel, you are destroyed, But your help is from Me.” In Deuteronomy 33:26(NLT), Moses said about our Creator, “There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.” Oh, how blessed we should be and feel as women to have been chosen for a such a distinction as this, to be a “help meet”, a helper to God’s man.

    Instead of understanding this extreme honor and appreciating the privilege that God intended, we have turned ‘helper’ into almost a bad word. And because many of us have overlooked God’s brilliance, intention, and plan for this role, we have failed to produce the faith necessary to carry it out. We place a great deal of emphasis on God giving us a man that is just right for us, instead of recognizing that we have been given the designation to be just right for the man. It’s a flip in the script that cannot be missed.

    God is a God of order. He doesn’t miss a beat. In Ephesians 2:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Both the man and the woman are God’s masterpieces. He made the woman a helper, and it can be nothing other than glorious, for everything the Father does is glorious. He planned good things for us to do, and helping the man is a huge part of God’s plan. We simply cannot afford to misconstrue any part of God’s masterful intention here.

    Looking for a wife is not a man’s first order of business. The first responsibility for the man is to solidify and strengthen his relationship with God. It is to establish intimacy with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. As women, we are so consumed and concerned with what the man is or isn’t, that we’re not even bothered about what kind of relationship he has with God. We just want him to be right for us and check off all the boxes on our lists. As long as he’ll go along with our program, whether he prays or not is the furthest thing from many of our minds. It’s a real surprise for some women to discover that this attitude and mindset will work against you rather than for you.

    God’s intention is that the man fulfills his purpose. Helping him do so is a part of our purpose as ambassadors for Christ and daughters of the Most High God. It’s an extremely humbling thing to recognize that the quest to be a wife can’t revolve around us and what we want, but it must be submitted to God and what He wants. What God wants is always and forever the best for all concerned.

    We are so busy with talking about what cheaters men are. You hear it all time, women saying that they’re no good ones left, and that women are doomed to be single all their lives. This is the mindset of someone that doesn’t know God’s agenda for the woman and isn’t prepared to submit to it. We’re not going to draw ourselves closer to God’s blessing by standing in opposition to it. That will never work. God’s man is a treasure, and he can be all that God desires him to be. Yes, many of them fall short, but so do we. You must have a totally different attitude and mindset about men, and change the way you speak about them, because if you can’t speak about the blessing the way God ordained it, you won’t see it and you can’t have it.

    If you are a Christian woman, and you love the Lord, you know that the God you serve is a Rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. When we are serious about being all that God has called us to be, we don’t rely on our own assumptions about our preparedness. The ministry of a wife is service to God. We reverence the husband because of our reverence to God through Jesus Christ. If we are not sure in any respect that we are prepared to serve in the ministry of a spouse and to devote ourselves completely to it, we should be asking God what we need to do to get prepared. Our hearts should be to please Him as we seek to be the wife He desires us to be. If we humble ourselves before God, with an attitude that is flexible when it comes to changing some of our habits and thoughts, we will see things we’ve never seen before. We’ll view the ministry of a wife that God has placed in our hands with greater appreciation and responsibility, and we’ll assume it with the grace and dedication to service that God requires.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Listen, Learn, and Love

    Listen, Learn, and Love

    “31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
    Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

    People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

    As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

    The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

    God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

    We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

    The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

    The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.”  How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

    To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love.  Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • We Have A Job to Do!

    We Have A Job to Do!

    James 1:21-24(NLT)
    “21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

    You and I have a job to do! And it’s going to require more out of you than your comfort zone may allow, but – when the job is finished, your soul will be saved. God has given us specific instructions. He tells us to get rid of the filth and evil in our lives, and make no mistake, God says what He means, and He means what He says. Not only must we remove the cancerous evil from our souls, but we must humbly accept the Word that God has planted in our hearts. This is plain and simple instruction. All of us have some stuff we’re holding on to that is blocking our blessings and keeping us from being who God has called us to be. Our spirits are perfect through our new birth transformation, but the soul is another story. It’s the soul that keeps us from receiving the blessings we desire most.

    We all have some cleaning up to do in our lives. It is essential that we commit to this work so that our souls will accept the Word that God has planted in us through His Holy Spirit. The Word is there, deep inside our human spirits, but our souls have a different agenda. The soul wants to keep holding on to the things we used to do before Jesus Christ became the head of our lives. These are the things that the devil is using to intercept our blessings, and this is one of the reasons why we get close to what we want, but it slips away. It’s stolen from us because some of our old habit patterns provide just the opening that satan uses to come into our lives and rob us.

    God warns us in James 1:23 not to be the kind of person that listens to His Word and doesn’t do what it says, because we’re only fooling ourselves when we do this. Our circumstances and situations will always be the proof in the pudding. They will always show us exactly where our heads and hearts are. They will show us whether we’re just giving lip service to God, or whether we genuinely and sincerely aim to please Him with our whole lives.

    Hebrews 12:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us 0strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Some of us are carrying weight from previous hurtful relationships, and we have never taken the time to ask the Father if the weight of deep pain we’ve gone through is slowing us down and tripping us up.

    Sometimes, the hurt we’ve experienced causes us to go for the jugular in disagreements. We go from zero to sixty when something is said or done that hits our sore spot. When we’ve gone through situations where our partners indulge infidelity, many of us shutdown our hearts. We don’t let anyone get too close, and we put on a façade, never allowing new people to see who we really are. Then, there are women that have made the man they are involved with their everything. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ commands us to seek God first in all that we do. Our relationships with God must be our number one priority, but many women conduct themselves in direct opposite to the commandment of Christ. In their past relationships, they focused all their energy on the man, and ignored their relationship with Heavenly Father. This is a sin that they’ve never repented from.

    The fear of experiencing the pain of loneliness is what drives many of us to undermine our own spiritual well-being. We don’t stop to think that God is the One who holds everything together, and without His blessing, nothing will work the way it should. He’s the One that we should be seeking, because He takes care of us. Our Heavenly Father sees everything, and He sees what we can’t see in our past, present, and future. He knows when we are not walking by faith but yielding to fear. He doesn’t punish us, He helps us.

    One of the toughest jobs that we may endure is understanding how to recognize the specific thing(s) that hinder our walk with God. This is why He’s given us His Holy Spirit and placed him in the inner sanctum of our beings. We’ve got work to do! As future wives and/or mothers, we are to be conduits of God’s love, and this means that we can’t allow ourselves to be buffeted by satan and all the fear he tries to bring into our lives. We must trust Hebrews 11:6, that God is a Rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. He rewards us when we put Him first, study and obey His Word, and release the things that hold us back. We should forgive ourselves for past mistakes, but our first order of business is to confront this stuff, seek God’s forgiveness, and get on with the business of growing and maturing in Christ.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “We Have a Job to Do!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

    Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

    Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
    “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

    There are two very important practices to spiritually preparing to partner that a believer can’t afford to neglect. The first is practicing the fruit of patience. The fruit of the Spirit belong to him, the Holy Spirit, and his fruit are produced through us. Anything that belongs to the Spirit is holy, perfect, and pure. Therefore, you and I have no other choice but to conclude that the outcome of exhibiting patience is going to be powerful, and it is going to be to our liking. Knowing this piece of truth adds to our faith and wisdom. So, patience should be looked upon as an extreme blessing and not a chore.

    Impatience is a lack of patience. It is an intolerance or irritability of delays. In many cases, it reflects our refusal to increase our believing towards faith. When it comes to finding the right person, many women are impatient with the wait. If you were to peel back the layers of their impatience, you might find they are worried and anxious that God is not going to give them the desires of their hearts. So, doubt is the root cause of their impatience. God’s remedy for this can be found in Philippians 4:6(NLT), where He tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

    Philippians 4:6 is God’s tool for building our confidence. It is a ‘new nature’ attitude and mentality, one where we shift out of doubt and into believing God, no matter how circumstances appear. This is a workout for our faith muscle, and it is a mandatory exercise, one that God will not allow us to skip. Understanding this is critical to growing in spiritual maturity and preparation. It’s the reason why I advised a young woman to use caution regarding someone she had recently met.

    When I inquired how they’d met, she told me that it was through a mutual acquaintance. They started talking over social media, and she suggested they continue their conversations via text and offered him her phone number. She asked my advice regarding how she should proceed. She’s wanted to meet a compatible mate for a long time, and I shared my delight that she had met someone. I also cautioned her to give herself time and only respond to what he does. She said, “But what if he doesn’t reach out anymore?” I advised, “Wait for his response. It’s the only way you’ll know what you’re working with. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know it’s not for you.”

    The beauty of ‘wait’ is the maturation of our believing. The world’s standard is, “Grrl! You better make that move!” but that isn’t God’s standard. His way is “Be still and know that I am God.” When we practice the fruit of patience, God will not allow us to miss a blessing. We must have faith that the right man will always respond. It’s destiny at work!

    The second practice is that of knowing what to do during the wait. The antsy-ness or impatience we experience during the wait is typically because we don’t know what to do with our time. It doesn’t occur to many people that God is our Creator, and that He meant for us to spend all our available time in fellowship, worship, and praying to Him through Christ. This is absolutely God’s expectation. Jesus Christ told us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to get to the Father, and his way is to be in continual fellowship with God and to have an intimate relationship with Him.

    When a woman yearns for a relationship with a man, she must be super careful that her longing is not weightier than her willingness to give God her time. For instance, if a person refuses to make reading the Bible, praying, and seeking to put on more of the example of Christ a meaningful part of their daily practices, they can’t expect to boost their believing towards marriage. That would be an unreasonable expectation. It’s not a workable strategy. God’s Will and Word is that we put on more of Christ, because when we walk in Christ as fully as we can, blessings will chase us down. Jesus Christ told us this in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:26 (NLT), “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” God is our Sufficiency. He is the Source of all blessings, and He will take care of our needs. He loves us and gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins. This lets us know that we are worthy of love. When you are confident in who you are in Christ, your actions will align with God’s Will. We must shift our focus off what hasn’t manifested yet and put it on the reality that God has already provided the husband. Our responsibility is to be patient, and to keep on believing and trusting God, no matter the wait.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be Patient and Keep on Believing God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • RING in the New Year?

    RING in the New Year?

    Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago. Today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes; it’s “ride-or-die.” This perfectly defines Mia to a tee. There are no other phrase in the English language that would do justice to her level of allegiance and commitment when it comes to her current relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

    Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

    Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the right man for her.

    As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind. She has a notorious intolerance for non-sense. So, it’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion between the two of them.

    Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for herself is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe, but the truth can sometimes make us uncomfortable. When it does, we think it’s inconvenient, because it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored a long time.

    Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything before Him that is on our hearts. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Sometimes, the person we love just will not meet our expectation. Trying to force this is like placing a square peg in a round hole. This isn’t what God wants for any of us. The answer isn’t to hold on something that isn’t producing the life we deserve. If we’re fearful of not being loved or of being lonely, these are fears we need to release. God will help us if we ask Him and trust that He will set our feet on the right course.

    Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward, she must. None of us should just go along, doing the same things, and knowing deep in our hearts that we’re not receiving the same level of love and commitment we’re giving out. Robert knows the caliber of woman that Mia is, because she’s proven herself to be loving, committed, and loyal. Yet, he still doesn’t want to make her ‘wifey’, and that is what she wants most. Let’s not ring in the New Year without the expectation, self-confidence, and faith of getting a ring. Commit to Christ-like actions, immerse yourself in God’s grace, and release anything that keeps you stuck. 1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Let the perfect love of God drive out the fear that keeps you settling for less than He wants to give you. Seek our Heavenly Father in all that you do, and you’ll witness the newness He’ll bring to your life in the New Year.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “RING in the New Year?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie

    The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie

    We hear a lot about soul ties in today’s environment, and it has both positive and negative connotations. “Soul tie” is a phrase that people use to describe a deep spiritual connection to another individual. Some think of it as a connection that occurs when two people meet for the first time and realize that their souls are destined to become one. Any person that has experienced the fulfillment and joy of a meaningful soul tie will want it to last a lifetime. It’s the dream on the hearts of many of God’s people, and the continual subject of their prayers. We are wired to seek connection, and when we make one on a soul level, everything feels right in life. The thing that very few of us prepare for is what happens when our souls untie.

    Matthew 19 gives us a record of an occasion when the Pharisees came to test Jesus Christ regarding the legality of divorce. Verses 4-5(NLT) tells us his response, “4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” This passage leaves no question of God’s intention for marriage and unity. When a man and a woman marry, they become one in His sight.

    In this marital union, it is possible that one person might significantly change mentally and emotionally. It’s not uncommon to hear divorced men and women say, “We just outgrew one another.” The unexplainable aspect is the reality that they were so sure at one time that their souls were inextricably linked. It was inconceivable to the both of them that anything in life could occur that would cause their soul tie to be broken. This begs us to consider the reality that things in life break all the time, but there is nothing broken in the life of any human being that cannot be repaired and made better through the love of Christ.

    No Blame Game
    1Corinthians 12:27(NLT) declares, “Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.”  This puts the ‘out-growing’ rationale in perspective. As children of the Most High God and siblings of Christ, we are all members of one body and therefore, we are indeed inextricably linked through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4:10 tells us that Jesus Christ left certain gifts pertaining to spiritual leadership for his body. These gifts are to accomplish the mission of God’s plan which is for the whole body to be unified in faith regarding the knowledge of Christ. Again, this ‘individual parts functioning as a whole’ is God’s plan for the Body of Christ, and His Will is that everything will be under the authority, power, and rule of Jesus Christ, our King.

    The outcome of God’s plan is made plain for us in Ephesians 4:16(NLT). It tells us, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”  It is inevitable that we will all grow at various levels with various speeds. God’s intention is that one partner will aid the growth of another in the way that He has ordained.

    To shift blame on to the other person for a lack of spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity is not only injurious to the relationship, it is injurious to us. It takes us out of accountability and humility. We have neither the bandwidth nor the right to stand in the seat of judgment when it comes to God’s plan for our spouses and partners. Heavenly Father’s plan for them existed long before they met us. Our responsibility is to ‘help the other parts grow’. God will keep the tie together when our willingness and intention is to aid His purpose. He will bless us and help us weather challenges and difficulties on all fronts if we minister in our unions through His grace and righteousness.

    Specific and Continual Prayer for Your Partner

    Souls develop and grow, that’s part of what they do. They release things that we feel no longer serve us and they gravitate towards things we believe will give us pleasure. So, when our mates no longer give us the pleasure that we’re used to receiving from them, that’s what we perceive as a serious problem. The soul wants what it wants, and when it doesn’t get its usual diet, or its appetite changes, we feel empty. The natural inclination of folks in a relationship is to think that the relationship is no longer useful because it doesn’t fill us up the way it used to. We then attribute the emptiness we feel to the partner. He’s not making our soul tank FEEL full.

    One of the lessons we learn as we grow in Christ is that Jesus is the source of our joy. If we’re looking for the relationship to be the source of our joy, we are setting it up for disappointment. Christ works through us, and he works through our partners because of our faith in him. You and I don’t have any glue of our own to hold a relationship together; we just don’t. It is the love of God in Christ that holds everything together. When it seems the soul tie in a relationship is coming untied, more glue—more of the love of Christ—is the solution. You and I may not know how to administer God’s love in a way that addresses the untie, but the indwelling Holy Spirit knows exactly what to do. Our responsibility is to pray fervently and frequently for our partners, that the Spirit will do his perfect work in them, and in us.

    As wives and girlfriends, truthfully, we’ve let this one slip on an epic scale. Even now, while you are unmarried or unpartnered, you must set a habit pattern of praying specifically for the salvation and spiritual growth of your husband. Pray that the Will of God is done in his life, and that you will be a conduit of God’s love to help him continue to walk the path Heavenly Father has placed before him. We have grossly underestimated the level of diligence to prayer that a union requires. We need to be locked into the Father’s heart when it comes to ministering to our spouses. Specific and continual prayer prepares us for hiccups and gives us the patience and discipline to be still as God works them out.

    Be Still

    The loss of partnership when our souls appear to untie is difficult, but we can get over it of course through the healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, it is also very necessary for us to understand that those same two souls can be unified again through Christ. It can be done through our willingness to pray, not out of desperation, but out of obedience to what God desires. We must also understand that unity cannot be achieved without humility. Recognize that even though you may have developed a soul tie, your soul cannot call the shots; it cannot rule your life. Jesus Christ is Lord! He is in the driver’s seat. He must rule our lives, and we must allow him to lead, guide, and direct us.

    God said in Psalm 46:10(NKJV), “Be still, and know that I am God.” Don’t panic or make hasty decisions and choices when things are untangling. Often this is an indicator that our own souls need nourishment, and the only Source of nourishment for our souls is God’s Word. We must still ourselves and get into the Word with a greater commitment to pray and receive wisdom and understanding. Don’t allow the enemy to whisper lies in your ears and cause you to step away from your destiny. The Holy Spirit will teach you and reveal to you what to do if you make God’s Word the priority. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Completely Convinced in God

    Completely Convinced in God

    “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”

    Hebrews 11:1(NLT)

    Getting married is a request in the prayers of many single women. Some are crying out to God with urgency. They feel their hope for marriage doesn’t seem to be getting any closer to materializing their desired results. They are increasingly disillusioned with dating and losing hope in the prospect of marriage. The experience of many singles is to meet someone, date for a few months, talk about the future and then ‘poof’, the relationship fizzles before it even has a chance to develop into something meaningful. It can be emotionally taxing, and most of us want to get off this merry-go-round.

    Marriage is indeed a blessing from God. It requires that faith isn’t just something we go to at the point it seems the relationship is fizzling. Faith must be anchored in our minds and hearts before we get into relationships, so that we are not just dating to be dating. When our faith is in God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we date with God’s purpose in mind, and we don’t have to waste our emotional resources becoming invested when the person was never meant to be a destiny partner.

    1John 5:4(NLT) tells us, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” There is no question that marriage is a beautiful thing, but we bring things into it that are not so beautiful. In fact, there’s some baggage we’re carrying that will bring down our future marriages with unnecessary and toxic weight. God will help us get rid of this stuff now, so that we aren’t outsmarted or defeated by the devil. Victory is when we are prepared through Jesus Christ to stand on the Word of God so that whatever plots, tricks, and traps the enemy sends against our unions, we are able to stand firm.

    The reality is that wherever we are in our walk with Christ, faith is required to see any kind of movement from God in our situation. Because our Heavenly Father is completely invested in us – just like we want a man to be, God is already there. He wants to see us grow in Him and to grow in our faith. He already sees us standing strong in Christ with the blessings we desire most, and our reality must match what He sees. You may envision yourself as someone’s wife. You may believe that you’re ready and spiritually prepared, however, in God’s eyes, your faith isn’t quite there. You must trust that God knows better than you, and you must be convinced that He will help you prepare if you humble yourself before Him.

    Our faith is how we respond to God. It is how we show Heavenly Father that we trust Him. If our response isn’t one that is completely convinced of His goodness, and if our response doesn’t reflect that we know He always knows best, then we must make a shift in our thinking and believing. We can’t do our own thing just because we think it feels right. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. The only way to hear the Word of God is to read it, listen to it, and speak it to yourself.

    Both our minds and our hearts must be completely convinced that what God said He’s going to do He will most certainly do. He said He would give you the desires of your heart if you remain anchored in Christ and occupy your thoughts and intentions with pleasing Him. This means that your entire agenda can’t be about what pleases YOU, it must be about pleasing God with your whole life. If there’s any possibility that you are not where you need to be in the faith, pray and get into God’s Word more, then watch as He rewards your increased commitment to put Him first.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Completely Convinced in God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.