Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • Ten Years without Coming Close

    A friend told me she took her ex-boyfriend out for lunch. He’d been in town visiting family, and since both have moved on and still remain good friends, they decided to catch-up. During dinner, he told her that he realized shortly after their break-up he’d messed up a really good thing with her. He said he regretted never taking their relationship to the next level.  When I asked why she broke up with him, she commented, “When someone is not ready to mature and move forward in life, then you have to leave them where they are.” My friend also shared with me that this wasn’t an easy pill to swallow when they first broke-up. It happened over ten years ago, and until this day, she says he’s the only man she’s ever been close to marrying.

    Having the strength to let go and move on from a relationship that isn’t right for you takes courage and determination. I applaud my friend’s stand to do what she believed was in her best interest, but I have to admit to being taken aback hearing her say she hasn’t come close to marrying over the last ten years. My thoughts percolate with rapid speed when I hear things like this. Immediately, scriptures flash across my mind as I remind myself of God’s promises. Out of habit, I look to God’s Word to remedy and make whole any and all issues, because it contains everything we need to live a life that is pleasing to Heavenly Father and fulfilling to us as well.

    In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus Christ tells us to come to him with all our burdens, and he will give us rest. A burden over extends us. It causes us to expend more emotional, mental, and physical energy than we can healthily give, and therefore, leaves us depleted. Jesus Christ presents us with an exponentially better choice. We can choose well and hand over our burdens to him because he can handle the load. Unfortunately, many of us don’t do this. We make the choice to continue carrying the burden ourselves and allow it to break us. One would think this is an easy choice and that everyone would choose to let Jesus handle the load, but again, most do not.

    I believe my friend made a good choice. She released a person because it was blazingly apparent that he didn’t want to grow with her. She had the foresight to realize that continuing this relationship was burdening her life and depleting her energies. So, she let it go. She got this part right, but the other part of God’s directive, the part in Matthew 11:29 where Jesus Christ tells us to learn about him so that we will find rest for our souls—she missed this part.

    Heavenly Father created life in such a way that any time something is released, cut-out, or eradicated; the gap must be filled. We see this all throughout nature. We also see it in the lives of people that are hurting so deeply inside that they use harmful substances and toxic relationships to fill the void.

    When we give our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ, we must give up our old life. It was filled to the brim with sin and darkness. Jesus Christ comes into our hearts and brings the fullness of love, light, liberty, and life. He gives us joy everlasting, but most of us don’t give up everything about our old lives in one big swoop. It’s a gradual process for us. Our prayer and aim should be that as we realize we’re holding on to harmful remnants of darkness, we release them as we continue to walk with Christ throughout our lives. Many people never pray to come into knowledge about the darkness they harbor, and they fill the gaps with everything but the love of Jesus Christ.

    Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God’s masterpieces, and that He recreated our spirits in Christ Jesus so that we can do all the good things He planned for us long ago. God has a good plan for our lives, and the way to fulfill it is to learn about Jesus Christ. This is our destiny! Very often there is something specific that God wants to teach us about His love, and its the thing we need in our arsenal for future marital unity and harmony. If we don’t make learning about Jesus Christ a priority in our lives, we’ll deny ourselves the privilege of becoming like him and being the blessing God wants us to be. During the transition from ‘single’ to ‘married’, all of us will experience feelings of emptiness as we wait to meet our future spouses, but let’s fill the gap with the love of Jesus Christ. Then, we’ll draw the right person into our lives, and have the rich and satisfying existence that God planned for us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Ten Years without Coming Close” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Let’s Clean House

    Saturday’s are my ‘clean house day.’ It’s the only day during the week that allows me time to make sure most of the house is clean the way I like it. My mother had all girls. She was never fooled by the surface cleaning we used to do in a hurry when we were younger. It had to be cleaned through and through, which meant we couldn’t get away with making it look good on top. She inspected the details. We couldn’t just put away things in cabinets; the cabinets had to be cleaned and neat as well. What can I say? This stuck with me. Like everyone else, I’m busy all the time, so not everything gets the full attention I prefer, but at least I know most of the house has gotten the bleach-clean treatment I’m used to; and I feel good in my soul when it’s done.

    One particular Saturday afternoon, I decided to clean out my make-up kit and bathroom cabinet.  Before I knew it, my trash can was full of mascara, lipsticks, and hair products. I couldn’t believe how much stuff I had accumulated and had to throw away. I also quickly realized how much time, money, and effort I’d spent on trying to look my best. This is of course the way God’s children should approach their well-being, and I’m sure I’m not alone on this one. It demonstrates the dedication most of us put into our outward appearance. But what about the inner appearance? The inner part is what God values most!

    Honestly, I don’t regret making the purchases or the time and energy I spend to look my best, because this is one of the ways we take care of our temple and make sure it looks as good on the outside as it does on the inside. We demonstrate our gratitude for God’s gifts by taking care of them as best we can. You and I represent God’s Kingdom as ambassadors for Christ, but we must never underestimate the Words of God in 1 Samuel 16:7(NLT): “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    Our Heavenly Father doesn’t see us the same way as others, thank goodness! 1Samuel 16:7 is a reminder that the heart is more important than outward appearance to God. Society puts tremendous focus on how a person looks outwardly, on what kind of clothes they wear or how well their hair is groomed, but this isn’t Heavenly Father’s focus. He looks at the heart.

    God requires that we clean house when it comes to the feelings and desires of our hearts, because we’ve got things left in there from the past, when we didn’t know Christ as well as we know him now. God tells us in His Word to get rid of the old thought patterns, attitudes, and behaviors we had in the past. Those things cause us to sabotage our blessings, and this isn’t what Heavenly Father wants. Sometimes, we have to do more than surface clean. We need to inspect inside the cabinets, and throw away that stuff that isn’t useful to our journey forward and upward. We need to make room in our lives for new blessings and greater spiritual growth; this is what we need to put on like a second skin. Some of us are still holding on to things like pride, arrogance, bitterness, resentment, and anger. We need to be praying and asking the Lord to help us release that old dead stuff so that we are prepared for what He has in store.

    In Matthew 23, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, warned the Pharisees about being more concerned with their outward appearance than with the conditions of their own hearts. He said in Matthew 23:27(NKJV), “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” We don’t want to be guilty of carrying dead things in our hearts like them. And therefore, we must pray continually like the psalmist, David, prayed in Psalm 51:10,  that the Holy Spirit will create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. We must ask God to help us see anything that isn’t right, so we can clean house and be well pleasing to our Heavenly Father.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Let’s Clean House” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Building Intimacy

    One of the chief purposes of relationships is to teach us about God’s love. Heavenly Father is a God of love. His Word tells us that He IS love, and because we are His children, we should take on His divine nature and make it our own. We should live love. Colossians 3:12-14(NLT) says, “12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” This passage paints a beautiful portrait of the kind of marriage God wants us to have.

    Heavenly Father desires intimacy in His relationship with us. He requires total surrender and commitment because total surrender and commitment from us is what He deserves. So that you and I have greater understanding of intimacy, in terms of what it takes to both obtain and maintain it, God has placed a desire for it within our hearts. This is one of the reasons that our desire for companionship is very strong. Not only is it very strong, but it is also very discerning. We want intimacy with a person that we deem to have qualities and attributes we admire and like most. When we meet someone like this, and the fondness is mutual, it’s possible we might discover that this person presented their best selves during the beginning of getting to know them; however, we didn’t see their undesirable or negative qualities until later in the relationship.

    All of us have negative qualities and attributes. God doesn’t disown us as His children because of them. Instead, He tells us to renew our minds and change our hearts. He tells us to clothe ourselves with His love, so that we learn to become compassionate and understanding regarding the shortcomings of others. This creates harmony and unity in our relationship with God. It has the same effect in our relationships with others. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. As we are patient with what we perceive as the shortcomings of those we love, closeness and intimacy grows.

    James 1:4(NKJV) tells us, “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Patience is part of God’s nature, and He desires to see it mirrored in us. It completes the work that He wants accomplished in our lives. It is a perfect work, and it makes us prepared for His purpose. It also helps us to develop true and real intimacy with Heavenly Father. He will not allow this intimacy to be rushed, but it must be built as we understand more about His magnificence, holiness, sovereignty, and love. We can’t rush intimacy with Him, and this should help us understand that we can’t rush intimacy in our other relationships either.

    Isaiah 40:31(NKJV) says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” If a single person learns no other spiritual lesson, they should certainly learn from their own personal experiences how important patience is to God. When it comes to the desire and quest to be married, God doesn’t allow us to speed Him up or slow Him down. He doesn’t withhold the blessing of marriage from anyone that desires it, but the virtue of patience must be firmly anchored in the Christian’s heart before the faith to usher in marriage to the right person is solidified.

    Learning to wait on the Lord renews our strength so that we can climb higher. This is a truth that applies to our relationship with God, and it also applies to our relationships with people. It takes time to get to know a person well enough to discern if they are a presentation from God. They may seem to be initially, but time may prove otherwise. However, if this person is in fact a presentation from Heavenly Father, they still may have qualities you dislike–I mean really dislike. Spiritual maturity requires us to work through those negative qualities by putting on the love of Christ, but we can’t do this if we’ve allowed our need for intimacy to drive the relationship. Trying to have intimacy without allowing it to develop through patience and purity will ultimately lead to unmet expectations. This will give the enemy an opportunity to attack the harmony we’re endeavoring to build.

    Intimacy is a closeness that is forged through devotion, commitment, understanding, communion and communication. God desires intimacy in His relationship with us, but He doesn’t force us to respond to His love. He patiently waits on us to grow in our understanding of His nature and will. In this way, intimacy becomes a reward of patience. We must remember this when it comes to the significant relationship in our lives as well. It is an extremely important spiritual lesson, and if we learn it well, we’ll be prepared for a fulfilling marriage that is bonded together in perfect harmony with God’s love.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Building Intimacy” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Feeling Unloved

    She said she felt unloved at home. When her husband asked why she cheated on the marriage, this was her response. His name is Jeff, and he is what most of us would coin as the quintessential ‘good man’. He’s handsome, handy, and loves being at home. He’s kept a steady job for years and is sometimes generous to a fault. What is wrong with sister-girl? How could she let him go? It’s not as if good men like this are falling out of trees like leaves. They are a little challenging to find, don’t you think? And once you’re blessed to cross paths with someone that’s compatible and digs you too…WHAT!!! That’s a match, right? …not always!

    See, this is the thing we have to be careful about. Everyone is looking for a soul-mate, someone that moves them so undeniably that they can’t envision living their lives without this person in it. Sometimes we meet someone, instantly feel a connection, and we’re convinced in our souls this person is the match we’ve been searching for. The problem a whole bunch of us run into is that we don’t always know our souls well enough to trust this feeling completely. We need the help of the Holy Spirit to determine if we’re making the right choice. Jesus informs us in John 16:13 that the Spirit guides us into all truth. Our souls don’t always tell the truth, so this verse isn’t referring to information we get from our souls. It’s referring to the truth that only Jesus Christ can give us.

    In Psalm 51:10(ESV), David, the psalmist, prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” This is an attitude that moves us closer to God and prepares us for our destinies. Being single provides us with an opportunity to pray this prayer continually. It gives us the time we need to let Jesus Christ take the wheel, and to be patient with ourselves as we surrender it to him completely, so he can lead us where God wants us to go. The first stop is going to be our hearts. He will lead us inside our souls to see some things we perhaps have never seen. This will bring up feelings that were bottled up long ago, but sometimes we must confront the place inside our hearts where we feel unloved, and we must do this before we even meet the person we’ll ultimately marry.

    If we don’t do this work before we get married, our expectations for marital partners will be unrealistic, because we expect them to love us in places where we don’t even love ourselves. If we did, we would have allowed the love of Christ to do its perfect work in our souls.

    When God looks at a married couple, He sees one person. Marriage is His institution, and the covenant has His stamp on it. If God looks at the married couple this way, you and I have no other choice but to view partnership this way as well. When you look at your spouse, you will see yourself; and vice versa. Your spouse will sometimes mirror the best in you, as well as the worst in you. The worst in us of course is the reflection none of us want to see. If we’re not spiritually mature enough to handle it, the blame game begins, and our unloved place grows.

    Psalm 34:18(NLT) tells us, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” The Lord will be close to us when our hearts are broken and rescue us when we’re crushed from a relationship gone wrong, but He’d much rather rescue us before we make the wrong choices. We’re all born in sin. We will make mistakes, and we have things about ourselves that can cause us to sabotage meaningful relationships, but we must remember that God knows our futures. He knows that many of us feel unloved because we haven’t fully surrendered to Christ. He will help us address this and prevent us from getting hurt down the road. Let the Holy Spirit takeover your preparation for marriage. If you follow his guidance, he’ll help you surrender the things that hold you back so you can embrace His love, and let it propel you further. ■

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Feeling Unloved” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Rescue After the Ambush

    Daniel, one of King David’s sons living during Old Testament times, was blessed to have prophetic dreams and visions that would help God’s people. The record of Daniel’s allegiance to service is a tremendous lesson for us, particularly as it relates to the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ has made it possible for those of us living today to serve others dynamically through these manifestations. They are powerful, and many of us desire to increase in them, but it is clear from God’s Word that the heart to truly and selflessly serve God’s people must be in us. Those who are fluid in mighty workings and have seen many miracles through Christ can attest that God will meet us with demonstrations of His miraculous power. He will do this when we’re actively engaged in serving others. Daniel wanted to help God’s people. This is why he was pressed to understand his vision and prayed to God for help. This help arrived in the form of an angel, and he told Daniel something that will comfort all our hearts when we’re ambushed under demonic attack.

    An ambush is a surprise attack, and it can come from all angles. It’s a time when everything goes wrong. Friends begin to act strange towards us, kids get out of control, the special person in our lives is annoyed for seemingly no reason at all, problems at work get out of hand, and our expenses are more than we can manage. Your nerves are shot, and on top of all this, you’re not feeling great physically. It’s surreal when problems in every aspect of your existence hit you all at once.

    It can feel as though God isn’t hearing us, but this is never the case. The angel said to Daniel in Daniel 10:12(NLT), “Do not be afraid, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words.” The angel reassured Daniel that from the very moment he began to pray, the answer to his prayer was on its way to him. If it was true for Daniel, it is most certainly true for us.

    Prayer was a pattern in Daniel’s life. During the three weeks after his initial request for help, Daniel never stopped praying because he knew that God would answer him. Our problem is that many of us don’t do this. If we don’t receive results on the double, we become impatient, lose faith, and allow the enemy to steal our blessing. Understand that the battle heats up when you’re close to victory. Often, this is the time we’re ambushed with multiple attacks.

    1Peter 5:6-9(NLT) instructs, “6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

    You have a destiny in the Lord Jesus Christ. Our destinies contain the storehouse of blessings that God has for us, and it also contains our assignment. This assignment is the work that we’re to do for God’s Kingdom. As we progress through life, both the blessings and our assignments are revealed. As we obediently take care of God’s business, His Kingdom on earth is expanded; the enemy wants to stop this from happening. When we’re close, particularly when a new season of spiritual growth and blessings is upon us, we are attacked, and sometimes severely so.

    God tells us exactly what we need to know about being attacked. He tells us to resist the tactics of the enemy. Don’t give in to them. Yes, the devil is a roaring lion, and Daniel can tell us a thing or two about lions. The king that was in power during Daniel’s day had him placed in a den of ravenous lions, and God sent the angels to Daniel’s rescue. The angels bound the mouths of the lions, and Daniel was unharmed. To be placed in a den of lions was a form of punishment and torture in earlier biblical periods. It was indeed a horrific death. A lion’s teeth were sharp and could cut through flesh and crush bones. This offers the background to why the devil is referred to as a roaring lion. It depicts the ruthlessness and eagerness with which he seeks to devour us, but Jesus Christ is our defense and rescue.

    Our first instinct is to run as fast and far away from danger as possible, but in 1Peter 5:9, God instructs us straightforwardly to stand firm against the devil. We are not to allow our emotions to sink and to let ourselves be overcome with fear, doubt, and worry. God reminds us in Philippians 4:6(NLT), “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” God tells us to resist and not run. You’ve been in tight places before. You know what it feels like to think you wouldn’t make it another day, but the hand of God was on your life then, and the hand of God is on your life now.

    In Isaiah 41:10, God tells us not to be afraid and don’t be discouraged, because He’s our God. He will strengthen and help us. He promises to hold us up with His victorious right hand. It may feel as though you’re on the edge, but you’re actually on the verge of God’s mighty rescue. Stand firm! God is with you, and He will never leave you alone. He knows all the details of what we’re facing, and He sees the things you can’t see. He has already worked out a plan for your greatest good, so claim the victory, because its already yours.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Rescue After the Ambush” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Right Information from the Right Source

    Folks that are already successful in life will probably tell you that they didn’t have all the answers when they first started out, and they probably didn’t ask all the right questions. They will also tell you that they didn’t stop until they found out who and where to go to obtain the right answers. Whether it’s our pursuit of meeting our future spouses, more finances, better relationships with friends or family, or most importantly, a closer relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, one of the things that holds many of us back from the success we desire is a lack of knowledge. The other biggie that holds us back is our lack of confidence that the right information from the right source will empower us to literally transform our lives.

    In Romans 12:2, God tells us to BE transformed. He has revealed that transformation is a part of our spiritual process, and this is truly an amazing revelation! We should come to a place of truly loving this word ‘transformation’, because any time we seek to go higher, to live greater, or to obtain more than what is already in our possession; some form of transformation will be necessary. This pearl of wisdom is the key to the next level of spiritual growth and blessings.

    WHERE you are in life at this exact moment is the precise, mirror reflection of the amount of God’s Word that you have placed into practice. Many people find this very challenging to accept. It is too much truth for them to digest, but it is true nonetheless. A person cannot rise above that which they do not know or haven’t been taught. This is why God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are harmed or destroyed because they lack knowledge, and indeed many have rejected knowledge. Truth will always advance us. Jesus Christ said in John 8:32 that it will make us free. So no matter how much it pains us to hear words that do not make us feel comfortable, we need to accept the truth, because it provides us with what we need to self-correct, align ourselves in obedience to God’s Word, and advance ourselves forward with the mind of Christ. God has empowered us to do this!

    To be transformed is to make a dramatic change. God is telling us that we can change to such a significant degree that we alter the trajectory of our lives. We can be headed in one direction, and God says that if we renew our minds to His Word, we will do a complete 180-degree switcheroo to head in the opposite direction. We can go from not pleasing Him to proving what is good, acceptable, and the perfect Will of God. Through His Word, He’s empowered us to make an amazing transformation!

    Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) is such a favorite for many of us, because it gives us information that will allow reprioritization in such a way that what’s at the top of God’s list moves to the top of ours. This verse says, “Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.”  Lady wisdom is a fierce sister, and Heavenly Father tells us to make her our constant hanging partner.

    Proverbs 19:20-21(NLT) says, “20 Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. 21You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” God’s plan will always and forever prevail. He is the Right Source, and His Wisdom is the Right Information. You must have utter and complete faith in this truth. You must also have faith that the distance between you and the blessing you seek can be bridged by renewing your mind to God’s Word. Increase your commitment to seek God’s wisdom. It will help you better understand His purpose for your life, and it will also increase your confidence as God leads you to abundant success!

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Right Information from the Right Source” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t Long for the Good Ol’ Days

    “Those were the good ol’ days.” It’s a saying we’ve all heard at one time or another, and most of us agree that times of the past seemed to be a little sweeter—maybe a lot sweeter. We’re of the mindset that what we use to do and have is better than where we are today, or for that matter, where we’ll be in the future. It’s sort of a pessimistic viewpoint, but it certainly isn’t without some merit when you look at what’s going on in our world today. This less than optimistic lens is one in which lots of folks view life, but as God’s children, we are commanded by Him to focus our attention on what HE says about things. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a good plan for His people, a plan to give us a future and a hope. In John 10:10, our Master Jesus backed this up by making it plain that he came to give us a more than abundant life. So, no matter how bad things appear, we have it on God’s undeniable authority that better days are ahead.

    Regret can be very toxic, especially if we camp out in it for too long. I had a conversation with a sister not too long ago, and she expressed how much she wished she could have a do-over with her life. Boy, can I relate. I wish I had listened more attentively to those who gave me sound and Godly advice in my early years; if I had, I could have avoided costly mistakes. On the other side of the spectrum, those mistakes helped mold the strength of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that I have today.

    The woman I spoke with said she wished she would have waited to get married. She believes her husband was unfaithful for most of their marriage. I am pained every time I hear something like this. Imagine pouring yourself into a person that is supposed to be your best friend and main support for 25 years, and they betray you not once, but repeatedly. Like many sisters that have endured this kind of deep hurt, she says she would never consider marrying again. Some of you may be thinking, “I can’t blame her!”

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” These are our marching orders, and they encompass an attitude and mindset that prompts us to forget the past and look forward to what lies again. This is the energy that will back our commitment to press. But even a neophyte knows that to maintain the motivation and strength to press, you must be sold-out that the joy in front of you far exceeds the pain you’ve left behind.

    Relationships gone bad can leave us depleted and emotionally exhausted. A negative attitude adds to the pile. Jesus Christ urges us to come to him when the enemy has used people against us. This is the way to avoid going totally sour on the possibility of loving again. We are not to spend our time looking back at old times with regret. We all have some wouldas-couldas-shouldas, and hopefully we’ve learned from them, but the most important thing we can do for ourselves today is to trust God’s plan for our lives. It’s not a plan that causes us to go back, but to move forward in faith with tremendous expectancy about the good that comes next! So, don’t look back with regret. Let your faith in God keep you excited as you humbly submit to His Will and plan for your life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Long for the Good Ol’ Days”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • You’re Stronger Than You Think

    The pain of a broken heart is no joke. Whether it’s because of the death of a loved one or because the person you love has chosen to move forward in the journey of life without you, it’s a hurtful and difficult thing. Emotionally, situations can be further complicated by the fact that sometimes we’re not sure how to grieve—how to move through that thick cloud of sadness without adding bitterness or blame to it. The absence of what used to be can leave such a vacancy that it seems nothing will ever fill it again. Not only is the thought of getting through the next five minutes agonizing, making it through the entire day is too much to fathom. How do you cope when everything about your life feels painful?

    We have all known people that have dealt with loss, and we’ve consoled them the best way  we knew how, but nothing quite prepares you for dealing with grief and hurt yourself. You have all these emotions, yet you still have to keep going to work, doing your everyday chores, and moving on with your life. The thing is, it isn’t the life you thought would be yours. In the back of your mind, you had always envisioned the pieces of your puzzle coming together. You might not have known exactly HOW they’d come together, but you believed they would in a way that would leave you in reasonably good shape.

    The surprise factor of loss or abandonment makes the blow even more devastating. It makes us question ourselves and sometimes even makes us question our faith. Although some believe that Heavenly Father causes suffering and uses it to punish or make people humble, spiritual maturity begs us to think higher than this. Doing so will allow us to grow and heal from love and not continue to linger in pain and fear. All suffering has its root in some plot of the enemy. Pain didn’t exist until the devil brought it into the world by tricking Adam and Eve to sin. Romans 5:12(NLT) tells us, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.”

    Whatever one believes about suffering, it is in fact a part of life. But even though you might feel as though your mind is all over the place, and your heart is being pulled in a million different directions, pain doesn’t have to crush you.

    The pieces of your puzzle may be scattered all over the floor, but God wants you to know that it IS possible for them to come together. In Romans 8:28 (NKJV), He tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  It is possible for your life to get better. It is also possible to change into a stronger YOU. In Mark 10:27, Jesus Christ said all things are possible to the person that believes and trusts in God!

    Hurdle one is to forge even the tiniest opening in your mind and heart for hope to come in and visit a while. One of the ways to do this is by slowly but surely accepting the reality that your puzzle isn’t going to look the way you thought. When it comes to the tone and texture of your life, YOU’RE not going to look the way you thought either. It’s a new puzzle, and there are pieces that you can’t identify right now. That may be a little scary, but God very clearly tells us in 2Timothy 1:7 (NKJV), “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

    Heavenly Father has given you a spirit of power, love, and sound mind. This is a package of resilience and strength! Romans 11:29 declares that His gifts can never be withdrawn. Even in the midst of heartbreak, you’re stronger than you think. God is inside you, and through His Spirit, He’s working within your heart and mind. He’s helping you to put the pieces of the puzzle together, so that your faith in His love and power grows. Be encouraged in Him.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You’re Stronger Than You Think”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Yardstick Lesson

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, when people grow up, do they live by themselves?” I said, “Well, yes, sometimes they do. Some grow up, get married, and have families.” She replied, “No, not me. When I grow up, I want to stay at home with you.” As the old saying goes, “When a child is old enough to leave home, a loving mother makes the child want to stay, and a good father makes sure they don’t.” As a mother, of course it is endearing to hear your children express such sweet sentiments. You want them to feel loved and supported. You also want them to be prepared to handle the world on their own, and that’s why the yardstick lesson is such an important one.

    A yardstick is a measuring rod that is a yard long, and measures things by inches. Its use is so widespread that we frequently use the word ‘yardstick’ as an indicator or gauge for something. In common terms, we refer to it as a hypothetical way of comparing standards or benchmarks. For instance, a person might say that the frequency of a man’s contact and communication is a yardstick for measuring his interest in the relationship. Understanding the way this extremely simple measuring tool works can help us plot, plan, come close, or keep our distance.

    Some of the biggest mistakes in life are because of toxic associations. We let the wrong people get too close and sometimes push the right people away. God warns us in Proverbs 14:7(NLT), “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” This is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. As adults, we sometimes wish we could turn back the hand of time or have a do-over when it comes to failing to discern. We wish that we would have recognized certain tendencies, or kept our distance to give ourselves time to see the real deal.

    We want our children to grow up with a hopeful view of the world, but today’s complexities challenge us to be incredibly smart and spiritually wise about how we do this. We have no other choice but to instill within them a very sharp discernment about things like the character, motive, and intentions of people they don’t know very well. We have to model this for them by keeping our own radar in check.

    Just as we want our children to learn to keep the wrong people at arm’s length, God wants us to be wise in this area as well. He’s given His Word to guide us. In 1Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT), He warns us, “Stay away from every kind of evil.” God wants us to stay away from evil because it has no place whatsoever with Him. David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalm 5:4 (NIV), “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.”  If evil people are not welcome with God, they ought not to be welcomed by us.

    Heavenly Father takes it a step further and tells us exactly who and what these evil folks are.  2Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT) says, “3 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”

    The yardstick lesson is a much needed one to learn from God’s Word, so that we’re careful about our associations, and won’t invest time and energy into someone that isn’t of the Lord. It’s seeking God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit about who we should and shouldn’t allow into our lives. We would do well to remember that there are going to be some people we must love from a distance. Even those who may seem perfectly harmless can bring with them a ridiculous amount of toxicity, and we need to be careful and spiritually wise.

    Until we get a green light from heaven with new folks, we need to bring out that trusty yardstick, and use it. Our children can learn by our example. If we model both how to be kind and keen, they’ll learn to always seek the counsel of the Lord and keep a healthy distance from anyone that truly doesn’t have their best interest at heart. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Yardstick Lesson”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is No Walk in the Park

    What do you do when you find yourself in a place in life that you never expected? Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings, so He’s given us everything we need to be equipped for anything the enemy throws our way. Still, life has a way of delivering some hard punches. You can end up in places you never in a million years thought you’d be. We make mistakes we never thought we’d make. We take career paths and jobs that are a far cry from where we thought we’d be, and we end up in relationships and sometimes marry people that were not who we thought they were. This can land us in a really dark place. So much so, that some of us begin to question God.

    When the unexpected hits, sometimes it brings an avalanche of other challenges as well. Marriages fail, finances become exceedingly tight, you’re behind in the bills, and kids have needs you’re not making enough to meet. All of this coupled with dealing with the emotional pain of a broken or lonely heart can do a number on a sista’s soul. You might pray relentlessly for the Lord to take away the hurt, but that dark cloud seems to loom.

    Many women that came before us endured similar and often far worse challenges than what we face today. This doesn’t diminish or invalidate our pain, but it should remind us that trouble does indeed come, but it doesn’t last always. I can hear the words of my grandmother saying, “Honey, the Lord won’t put more on you than you can bear.” This statement was tremendously comforting to her and many seasoned spiritual veterans, but we must never overlook the reality that God’s intention is that we grow in the knowledge of His Word. Our fore-mothers were forces to be reckoned with, but they didn’t have the exciting revelation that we have today. We know more about Jesus Christ and the strength of his resurrection power than perhaps any other group of people in history. This sets the stage for our overwhelming victory, and we ought to be looking forward to it in faith.

    There are droves of Christians that believe God punishes people by placing tribulations and burdens on them, but 1John 1:5 very clearly tells us that God is light and has no darkness at all. God doesn’t place burdens on us; He invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, because He is more than able to handle them. Confronting this truth really does give us a little bit of a window into the root of the struggle. Life is no walk in the park, because the enemy is going to throw darts at us. And when our backs are against the wall, we will be forced to confront exactly what we believe about God. Do we believe Him to be a merciful God who rescues us continually, or will we believe the lie that the devil wants us to believe, and think that love equals punishment?

    What we believe about Heavenly Father’s love for us is extremely important and consequential. It is the springboard that lifts us higher in Him. If you believe that God wants you to continue to suffer, the span of your reach is cut off. It stifles not only the freeing and positive influence that you’ll have on others, but it places a choke-hold on your confidence and hopes. God doesn’t want that for any of His children. This is why He’s helping you to move to a place in your mind and heart where you don’t view the resolution of your problem as the foundation for a happy life. Faith in God’s power and love through Jesus Christ is your foundation, and the joy of the Lord is your strength!

    Whether it’s the man leaving, the relationship not working out, or money woes, God wants us strong and leaning on Him for our everything. Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message (MSG) tells us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.”

    It’s true that life is sometimes no walk in the park, and with our backs against the wall and no one to depend on, it feels like we’re out there with nothing to hold us up. It can be such a panicky place, and a lot of us are worrying ourselves to poor health because we’re so filled with doubt. That panicky feeling is fear, and God has given us everything we need to flip it into faith. Heavenly Father is light. His love is light, and because there are no strings attached to His love, and it’s so effortless and free, it might feel as if there’s nothing holding us up, but He’s got us! He won’t let go, and we shouldn’t either. We must hold firm to our faith and trust that victory is ours through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is No Walk in the Park”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!