Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • You Are Equipped to Handle the Pressure

    I must admit that when it comes to the younger generation, I have been at times pessimistic; and I know I’m not the only one. I imagine some years ago my grandparents looked at my generation this same way. They couldn’t understand us or what made us tick. We were the ‘ME’ generation of their time; impatient and impetuous they thought. This is multiplied times ten with today’s youth, but there’s also a characteristic that I and many others have overlooked in them. They are fearless, and audacious. They think in ways that older generations haven’t, and God is birthing something magnificent in them for the uplifting of His Kingdom.

    This revelation regarding the youth of today has been in the back of my mind for a while, but when I heard a young Christian believer as she counseled a fellow college student, I was again reminded of it. 2Corinthians 3:12 tells us that because of the hope we have in Christ, we can have confidence and be very bold. This young woman understood this, and I was struck by her faith and the candor of which she spoke. The person she counseled is facing pressure from all directions; family issues at home, trying to keep up with class work, holding down a job, all while trying to provide for his young son. He felt overwhelmed and was about to make a huge mistake because he didn’t think he could handle it all.  Wisdom flowed effortlessly from this young woman as she told him, “You’re a man! God has equipped you to handle much worse pressure than this. You’ve got to gut-up, be strong, and figure things out!”

    I thought to myself, “Wow, I don’t think I was that bold and gutsy when I was her age.” But I was even more impressed with the wisdom and confidence in the Word of God that exuded through her words. This is the kind of brazen faith we must instill not only in our young Christian folks, but also veteran believers who still struggle with believing God in their relationships and the pursuit of marriage.

    Men and women were created to be partners. Each having strengths to compensate the other’s weaknesses or deficits; both working together harmoniously in unity, appreciating and valuing each other to the fullest. This is the union God has ordained. Numbers 23:19 tells us that God isn’t a man, and He does not tell lies. His Word is true, and His promises never fail. Heavenly Father never makes mistakes, and all that He does is perfect. He has anointed and appointed the man to function in a certain way. In many cases, we’ve seen women do what needs to be done and function just fine in the role that we might have believed to be that of a man, but God’s purpose cannot be questioned. It will always and forever boil down to the purpose that He has ordained. Any time that we forget God’s standard, and attempt to circumvent it, there’s going to be a result far less than optimum.

    As single women, particularly those of us that have children, we know pressure; have endured it from all angles and triumphed over it through the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:13(NLT) says, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Many of us have renewed our minds to this truth because our life’s circumstances left us with no other choice. We’ve been strengthened by our faith that God has equipped us to press our way through, so why would we expect or accept any less from a man? We shouldn’t. A man is anointed and empowered by God to get things done, to protect and produce for those he loves. If it is apparent that he has chosen not to walk in this anointing, we should view it as a red flag.

    As women of Christ that have maneuvered through lack and loneliness, God has empowered us and helped us to be adept at finding resources and pulling them together. We’ve learned to turn a dollar store item into something that looks like a million bucks. We know how to make the best of a situation because we’ve had to. So when you have the opportunity to witness to a man, or school one that is half-stepping, remind him that He has been anointed and appointed to take care of business.

    The young woman who impressed me could have sugarcoated her counsel. Many of us have done it far too long. Instead, she spoke words seasoned by her faith that God would back up the truth she spoke. There is no such thing as God’s provision failing. There will be pressure, but through Christ, a man is equipped to handle it. If he is truly unselfish in his heart, is braced for sacrifice and hard work, all for the good of someone other than himself, God will open many doors for the man worthy of you. This is good news, and we must proclaim it to brothers every chance that we get. ■

    “You are Equipped to Handle the Pressure” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Peace of God in Your Relationship

    After twenty-something years of marriage and two children, Sharon decided to divorce after her youngest graduated high school. This was six years ago, and four years later her high school sweetheart got a job at the company where she worked, and they began to date.  Sharon told me that her ex-husband had never stopped hoping that one day they’d find a way to re-unite. Recently, he’s asked her to marry him again.  She said, “He’s a good provider, he’s the father of my children, and my family loves him; but I have feelings for my boyfriend, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve prayed and asked God to help me, because I don’t know what to do.”

    If any of you are thinking like me, you can’t help but appreciate Sharon’s position to some degree. She has two men vying for her affection and attention. Not many of us can make this claim. However, anytime you find discord or confusion, you’ve got to use caution. 1 Corinthians 14:33a(NKJV) tells us so clearly, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” God doesn’t initiate, create, or perpetuate confusion. He interjects peace, and Philippians 4:7 tells us that His peace exceeds anything we can understand. It will guard our hearts and minds as we are committed to live in Christ.

    Ambivalence, especially when it comes to relationships, is a sign that we don’t have God’s peace. It is sometimes an emotional and mental indicator that we need to be still, and wait until we can hear clearly from the Lord.  In Sharon’s case, she has forgotten how important it is to have the peace of God in a relationship. Without it, things turn to mush very quickly, and you lose the foundation that once gave the relationship endurance and unity.

    We can always learn from our previous relationships, especially those that are prior marriages. It is a big deal when a marriage falls apart and divorce enters the picture. Nothing is gained from playing the blame game, but it is important to analyze things as much as possible, so that mistakes and missteps are not repeated. Sharon and her ex-husband somehow lost the peace of God in their marriage. They may have looked to find in each other something that can only be found in God.

    We should never expect to receive from another individual something that only God can give. He gives us peace, joy, fulfillment, and so much more. When you learn how to find these spiritual goodies in God through Jesus Christ, you can then enter your relationship as a whole person, as opposed to someone who doesn’t really understand their identity in Christ, and is fragmented and insecure. When you’re in this fragmented state, it will spill over into your relationship. So, the peace of God is most definitely a foundation that must be built in our own hearts and minds, before we can bring it into any other relationship.

    Real and true peace is an inner calmness and contentment that abides because of our faith in God. It’s a joy that we experience despite any difficulty we might be encountering. It isn’t dependent upon any circumstance, but rests solely on our trust in our Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    When we’ve lost God’s peace in a relationship, it is important for us to examine if we’ve grown to such an extent that we won’t lose it again. God knows our future. He wants only the best for us, and He knows WHO is best for us. Sharon indicated that she has prayed and asked God what to do, but we must also ask ourselves if we are in a position to hear His answer. It is important for us to rest in His peace, because this is when we can hear Him. It’s when we have intentionally drowned out all other noises so we can commune only with God. He is always speaking, and abiding in His peace will allow us to hear, so that we can make good decisions, and nurture our relationships from a place of wholeness, confidence, and strength. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “The Peace of God in Your Relationship”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Learning to Pace Yourself

    A good friend of mine met a man through another mutual friend. They engaged in a little small talk, exchanged numbers, and he said that he would call her in a couple of days when he was back in town. True to his word, he phoned. They had a few really nice conversations and planned a date. Prior to the date, my friend said to me, “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a stalker that calls all the time!” I found this to be a strange comment for her to make, because he had not given her any reason to suspect that he was anything of the sort. He had simply held to his word, and that’s a really admirable quality, but she immediately dismissed it and went straight for the negative.

    Rather than allowing this man to get comfortable with occupying the space of acquaintance or friendship, my friend tried to peg him as a possible marital partner, and began stacking him against her list of criteria. Not only had she jumped to conclusions before getting to know who he is, but she was already piling on the baggage from her previous relationships. “…And if he has more than two kids under the age of 18, I’ll entertain only one date, and that’s it!” she said.

    Galatians 5:6(NLT) tells us, “For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” Faith has requirements, and they do not let up, but increase as we get closer and closer to the fulfillment of God’s promises. So imagine if you begin a new friendship by wrapping it in fear from day one. It will take incredible energy to reroute it from that point.

    Single Christians are to occupy their time getting tight in their relationships with God, and becoming spiritually sharp. We are poised to be the greatest examples of Christ, because of the amount of alone time we get to spend with him before we get married. In turn, he teaches us how to express our faith through his love. Some of us just haven’t given Christ the reigns in this area of our lives. We rush to occupy our time with other things, and this gives the enemy the opportunity to sabotage our efforts to partner.

    Learning to pace ourselves is very important, not only when it comes to meeting someone new, but also in giving ourselves time to make good decisions for our own hearts. God has given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us maintain a healthy pace. He knows how to lead and guide us, and he will also keep us out of danger. So rather than jumping to conclusions, and letting negative baggage from the past ruin our futures, we can choose to demonstrate spiritual maturity. Having faith in God’s positioning is the best way to be loving and kind to yourself. You don’t have to rush anything. You can simply enjoy meeting new people and being a blessing to them.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Learning to Pace Yourself” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Are You Thinking?

    “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

    Sometimes, we Christians forget that God made Science. All the new discoveries and technological advances exist because of the brilliance that Heavenly Father has woven into all of creation. Today, we are seeing Christian scholars have dialogues about Quantum Physics, because they are beginning to understand how it correlates with biblical truths, and in some cases, expands our understanding of them. Take the body for instance, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, yet the human body is 50% to 75% water. As powerful as we are physically, and as intricately woven together as we are, it’s astounding to think that the body mostly consists of something as fluid as water. This should prompt us to consider the potency of something as fluid as a thought.

    A thought isn’t tangible. We can’t touch or feel it. We can’t hold it in our hands and examine it from all angles. It is an expression of an idea or feeling, and although it is seemingly transparent, it is one of the most powerful elements of human existence.

    Thoughts are vibrations, and vibrations are frequencies. This is what Heavenly Father created thought to be. Frequencies ultimately result in the manifestation of matter; as thoughts of faith ultimately result in the manifestation of what we are believing to receive. This is the amazingly potent effect of focusing our thoughts on the living-breathing, positives of God’s Word.

    Physics teaches us that everything has a vibration. When atoms are observed under incredibly powerful microscopes, they can be seen vibrating. All energy behaves this way. Understanding the mechanics of how things work has not been high on the priority list of many Christians, but God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. He doesn’t want us to be ignorant, but to get as much understanding as possible, so that we become wise.

    Negativity is at the base or bottom level of existence; it is barely life at all. In other words, it is the lowest form and frequency of operating. Negativity resonates and vibrates with negativity. It is all things dark, deadly, destructive, oppressive, and fearful. It calls attention to what it is. So, when we have negative thoughts, we are signaling everything that vibrates at a level of our negativity; and thereby attracting it to ourselves. Negative thoughts can create a negative cycle that can potentially encapsulate our lives and keep us spiraling downward. Yes, all of this stems from something as powerful and fluid as a thought.

    Make no mistake, this is not New Age goobledygook. This is the science behind the brilliant way God created everything to work. When you understand this, you can see why He tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. These are the components of excellence and praise! They have a high frequency; and therefore, vibrate and draw to us the most positive of positives.

    God is giving us a strategy for remaining in the arc of His safety, protection, and care. He’s telling us how to stay out of the enemy’s territory of death and destruction. By saturating our thought life with what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, we come into agreement and harmony with God’s goodness through Jesus Christ.

    How many of us can actually say that most of our thoughts consist of at least three of the qualities listed in Philippians 4:8?  If we’re honest, many of us would give ourselves a pat on the back if we’re staying our minds on at least one of them. We have become accustomed to worldly behavior, and allow the world’s systems to bombard us with too many distractions.

    The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 10:5 (NLT), “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” This is the hallmark of a true disciple of Christ. We are to capture the thoughts that go against the grain of God’s love and teach them to obey the Lord Jesus Christ. We do this so that we don’t add to the negativity of this world; we bring light to it, so that darkness can be exposed and eradicated.

    God tells us in Romans 12:2(NKJV), “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” To reverse the negative and move ourselves into a positive trajectory, there’s no question about it; we’ve got to renew our minds. This is the methodology that God has given us to align our mental and emotional centers with the guidance of the indwelling Holy Spirit. This is how we keep our relationship with God on track.

    Negativity blocks you from being your very best for God. A carnal mind is an undisciplined and untrained mind. The Word teaches us that it is an enemy of God. We must begin to train our thoughts to move in the direction that He has told us they should go. He tells us to renew our minds by transforming our thoughts; this is His definitive directive. Make the conscious choice to renew your mind. Change your thoughts to those that mirror the mind of Christ. If you dedicate yourself to this practice, you will see a dramatic change in your life in the present, and you will lay the groundwork for a fabulous future!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Are You Thinking?”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Unveiling Of Your Spouse

    Sisters, I know that I can lean on your support and that you’ll give me a pass for venting a little bit. I don’t know if I can take hearing one more Sister in Christ complain that there are no more good men out there. Some of us are actually saying things like, “We might as well get used to being alone, because marriage is not going to happen.”  I’m like, “Really!!! Is this all the faith that you can muster regarding God’s goodness? Are you really going to let words like this come out of your mouth?”

    It’s not as if these daughters don’t know the Word of God; they do. Many of them have been on the Christian journey longer than I have. I get it! They’ve done the daggone thang’ in terms of their careers and jobs. They’re on the grind daily, taking care of their children and holding it down as the head of their households. Some of them are divorced, and others have never been married. They are dependable, hardworking, and they would say that they’re dedicated to the faith, yet when it comes to the subject of marriage, the script flips.

    Let it not be said that we don’t know how to back our faith with good works, because we’re proving it in so many other areas of our lives, but when it comes to relationships with men, and the subject of marriage, we don’t seem to be gaining speed. It appears as if this most precious and privileged blessing is getting away from us, and there has to be a reason for it. I personally believe the problem is doubt. It’s the monkey wrench that keeps us from reaping the benefits of God’s harvest.

    Jesus Christ was talking with the disciples one day, and he told them that he wouldn’t be with them long. He told them not to worry about this, because they knew the way. He said in John 14:4 (NLT), “And you know the way to where I am going.”

    Thomas was a disciple with distinction, and it was not the most flattering kind. He was known for having a doubting heart and mind. This means that Thomas had trouble with walking by faith and not by sight. He relied on his five-sense-knowledge very heavily. In other words, he had trained his mind and heart to believe only in things he could see, taste, touch, hear, and smell; and if he couldn’t experience it in the flesh through the five senses, he would be extremely skeptical and wouldn’t trust it.

    Like many of us, the flesh created a barrier around Thomas, and at times he would refuse to stretch beyond it. His imagination was stunted, because he didn’t use it very much. Christian folks shouldn’t have these limitations, especially when it comes to an area of life that is as important to God as marriage.

    When we pray and ask God for something, He has instructed us to believe to receive it. This is the attitude we’re commanded to have. An attitude of ‘maybe’ isn’t appropriate; it’s not what the Father deserves. Even if we’re inclined to be negative, we should believe God with full persuasion on the basis of His goodness alone.

    We cannot let doubt win and rob us of our futures. Through Jesus Christ we have a sure thing! In John 14:6 (NLT), he said to Thomas and the other disciples, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”  They had been with Jesus throughout his ministry. They should have known this truth, and they should have known the higher calling they had all received to walk in faith. We should know it as well.

    He is the way. All of our methodologies, philosophies, predictions, and dating tricks and treats can’t hold a candle to the way of love, truth, and light that he has made available to us. Getting married isn’t about fairytales or receiving something we think we deserve. It’s a commitment to love through Christ, and assume the responsibility for another person’s life and heart. When our faith is fueled by this commitment to God, and is less about flesh, the light of Christ will shine forth and beautifully unveil our spouses.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Unveiling Of Your Spouse”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Trust In The Promise

    The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 long years because they didn’t believe and trust God. He told them to go in, and to possess the land He had promised, but the spies that were sent to survey and check out the promised land brought back a bad report. They told the Children of Israel that the inhabitants of this land were huge like giants and very scary. Most of the spies held the opinion that they wouldn’t be able to overtake the inhabitants, and this is what they reported back to everyone. God’s people cowered in fear because they were afraid, they thought they’d be squashed like grasshoppers. They had been up against the giant of Pharaoh’s evil rule in Egypt, and God brought them out, but they chose to forget this. It’s pretty unbelievable to fathom that after all the extraordinary things God had done for them in the past, they doubted Him still. Instead of clinging to His unlimited ability and willingness to bless them, they chose to cling to fear. Some of us are making this same choice today.

    In Deuteronomy 11:8-9 (NLT), Moses told the Children of Israel, “Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter. 9 If you obey, you will enjoy a long life in the land the Lord swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants – a land flowing with milk and honey!” One of the things that we see right away in verse 8 is that the people would need strength to go in and claim what was theirs. Some of us have an attitude of a kid in a candy store. We see all of this yummy stuff that God has made available, and we want it all, but we can’t forget that spiritual strength is a requirement. Cultivating strength is the first order of business in a take-over.

    Moses told them exactly how to keep their strength up. He told them to obey God’s commands. If they did this, they would be strong enough spiritually to move in victory. When they were in the wilderness, one of the first telltale signs about their condition is that they were full of fear. They had not yet sufficiently put on a mindset of faith in God. If they had, they would not have allowed the evil report of the spies to deter them.

    God had promised the Children of Israel something great. The Creator of the Universe and all that we survey had spoken to them through Moses. Heavenly Father made a divine commitment to bless them in an amazing way. During their deliverance from bondage, God caused the Red Sea to open so they could cross to the other side. He fed them manna from heaven in the wilderness and blessed them to come out of Egypt with vast riches of the Egyptian’s treasures. They had gold, silver, and all kinds of beautiful and valuable things. This is what God did for them, yet, they would not press themselves to remember how Heavenly Father had delivered them.

    God wanted us to know this record in His Word so that we would have a firsthand account of what unbelief looks like; so we can witness how doubt and fear will cripple our efforts to move forward in strength. When we are not fortified spiritually, our faith isn’t where it needs to be, and we’re not in a position to take what God has given us. So many of us fail to get into position and assume the posture of a winner because our eyes are focused on all the things that provide an excuse for our immobility. We see God’s willingness to bless us in a very limited way, and this causes our faith to fail.

    I remember hearing a story of a man that had all sorts of physical ailments. He had a bad back. His knees were continually sore, he had a heart condition, and he also had several allergies. A well-known Christian healer came to his city, and the sick man made his way to see him. He told the healer, “Pastor, I’m a very sick man, but if you will ask God to just heal my back, I’ll be satisfied.” This may seem like a very humble request for an ailing person, but actually this man was refusing to stretch forth with the full brunt of his faith. He was asking God to do only a small fraction, because in truth the sick man only wanted to BELIEVE in a small fraction.

    Jesus Christ told us in Mark 9:23 (NLT), “Anything is possible if a person believes.”  Our God is so much bigger and greater than we can imagine. Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” Heavenly Father deals in the exceedingly abundant. He goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think. In the case of the sick man, you might say that maybe he didn’t know any better, but God has made a way for us to always know better. He’s given us His Word, and it is available just about everywhere we look. So, ignorance is not an acceptable defense. It is an excuse for not studying and trusting His Word.

    Heavenly Father wanted to heal every part of this man, not just his back. This is what the healer told him. We need to prepare mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually to receive from God the kind of husband that will bless us wonderfully. If you are prepared, you’ll have faith that you have everything you need to take possession. If you are not prepared, you’ll acquiesce to believe that God isn’t going to bless you. This is fear at its worse. I encourage you to study God’s Word so that you know what is available through His amazing grace, then you will grow in spiritual strength and get more excited by the day about what Heavenly Father has in store for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Trust In The Promise”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Matching Apples to Oranges Won’t Work!

    One of my favorite passages of scripture is Jeremiah 17:7-8(NIV). It says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” I absolutely love this scripture, because it holds jewels of truth. The diamond of it cuts right down to the core of what happens when we have a sold-out trust in Heavenly Father. I always try to visualize the kind of person this passage is referring to. What must a person go through in order to obtain a level of confidence like this in the Lord? I believe it’s the kind of confidence where God would stamp him or her with a brand of ‘fearless!’  How does one stay fresh and always hopeful? When everyone else is experiencing drought, how does this person continually bear fruit? These are questions to which you and I must seek the answers, because not only is this God’s standard for you, it is His blueprint for the person He desires as your spouse.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is a spectacular person. The truth is that we’ve seen such erosion of Godly principles in the world, that some sisters have allowed a very cynical mindset to takeover when it comes to finding the right man. They have been so disappointed in the past that they won’t fully trust in God’s provision in this area. God won’t take us higher than we are willing to believe. But if we are fully persuaded and completely sold-out on His goodness, the extraordinarily wonderful thing about Heavenly Father is that He will exceed our expectations.

    Ephesians 3:20(KJV) tells us, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Oh how I pray that you can get this into your heart. God works in the exceeding abundantly. This is His trademark, but He is also a God of consistency and order. With God, it is Spirit to spirit; Holiness to holiness; Faith to faith. It’s not apples to oranges. It’s apples to apples. He does the exceeding abundantly ACCORDING to the exceeding abundantly that is working in us. If you are not raising your sights to this level of faith, then you’re not going to see all that is available for you to see.

    This is why so many Christian women are disappointed in their desires. They are sometimes in the wrong place, talking to the wrong people, conversing about the wrong things; seeing the wrong things, thinking the wrong thoughts, and expecting right results. It doesn’t work this way. Faith to faith. You’ve gotta give God something to work with. Your arena has to change so that you can see a different picture—a higher picture than the one you’ve been seeing.

    The beautiful brother that is hardworking, pleasant to be around, pleasing to the eye, confident and strong, fearless, and continually energized by the power of the Holy Spirit—guess what? He’s not an abnormality in the realm of God’s treasures. He exists, and he is not in short supply. He’s a jewel of God’s truth!

    The Apostle James wrote in James 1:2-4(NIV), “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  The spiritual lessons and preparation to become a wife may prove to be a test of your faith; it is for many single Christian women. It requires us to pull down strongholds of negativity and doubt, and to see the areas of our lives that need to be strengthened in Christ before we move forward to the blessing of matrimony.

    What happens is that some of us make the mistake of being a little bit too desperate or hasty for love. We want the prize without the prep. We want oranges to match apples; and we ignore the advice God gave us in His Word.

    Changing arenas means that we move higher to a heavenly view, where our trust in God regarding marriage is unwavering. This is what makes a person like a tree planted by the waters. It’s when your confidence is in God’s provision, and you just know that He’s going to do what He promised.

    It may seem a far distance from where you’re standing today, and if you were to look at switching lanes on your own…forget about it. Thank God that Jesus Christ is the head of our lives! He’s Lord! He knows where we’re supposed to be, when we’re supposed to be there, and how to get us there. We need to relinquish the steering wheel altogether and let perseverance finish its work. The way to get this done is to ask Heavenly Father for the guidance of the Holy Spirit through the Lord Jesus Christ. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will guide us through Christ and tell us exactly what we need to know, so that we can tap into God’s treasures. Trust that God’s goodness never runs dry! Get yourself pumped for a change of scenery on higher ground. The Holy Spirit will help you move up supernaturally, so that you not only see all the wonderful blessings God has for you, but you’ll be able to reach out and grab them.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Matching Apples to Oranges Won’t Work!”, written for findchristianman.com ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t Break His Heart

    Many people live their lives from the outside in. They allow what is happening in their environments to dictate what is happening internally. For instance, if something happens at work and someone does something they don’t like, they allow this person’s actions to ruin their day. People often find themselves reacting negatively to situations and events that are going on outside of themselves. They become enraged if someone cuts them off in traffic, or if a person says the wrong thing to them. No longer do we, as a society, bypass simple offenses. In today’s environment, many of us are easily offended and wear our feelings on our sleeves, so to speak. When it comes to this tendency of reacting to the negativity in our worlds, the list goes on and on. We’ve approached a level of extremes, and people have adopted a very negative outlook on life because of it. So many are ill-tempered and constantly in a bad mood. This kind of pessimism is corrosive; it hinders the blessings that many of us desire to flow our way. A happy life with a wonderful spouse is absolutely achievable for the woman of God that desires it, but it’s not going to square with a negative outlook on life.

    God is opening His heart to us in amazing ways. Wonderful things are happening in the body of Christ. Our privilege and responsibility is to take on more of God’s nature and continue to renew our minds to His Word. This is required to grow in spiritual strength and have the relationship with Him that He desires. Looking at this in very basic terms, if you and I have love in our hearts for someone, we are concerned about their well-being. We want them to be happy, to grow, and to be productive in life. If we are at a level of abounding in the things of God, and we are witnessing His wonderful abundance, we want this for everyone else that we know. Wanting the best for others is a very important attribute of how the love of God in Christ behaves.

    The love of God in Christ will motivate us to want to see others rise to greater levels of growth and prosperity. This is multiplied to uncalculatable levels when it comes to God’s heart and what He wants for us. We are His children! We’re Kingdom Kids, so it makes sense that Heavenly Father desires that we grow in His nature. In Ephesians 4:13, He makes it clear that the end goal is that we measure up to the full and complete stature of Christ. In other words, the more of God’s nature that we take on, the more like Christ we become. Heavenly Father can then share more with us; and not only this, but spiritually we get to a level where there is such an ease in our communication and fellowship with Him.

    When other things, situations, and people are dictating our mood, it means that we are developing a habit pattern of internalizing potentially hazardous stuff. We’re allowing fear and all its cousins to get cozy in our hearts. That’s no good. Our bodies are the temple of God. The Holy Spirit abides inside of us. We must remember that marital partnership is a ministry, and if we’re not ministering to our own hearts properly through God’s love and power, we probably won’t have the spiritual strength to do it for someone else. When we guard our hearts and feed them a diet of positive thoughts and the promises of God’s Word, we’ll be amazed by the blessings we begin to attract.

    Ephesians 4:30-32 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” I know you have heard many Christians refer to the indwelling Holy Spirit as a gentleman. For some of us, it may seem odd to our ears to hear this, but with respect to sensitivity, compassion, and love, this statement is so true. The Holy Spirit is very gentle and loving. He rejoices in those things that delight the Father, and he is grieved by those things that do not.

    The Holy Spirit partners with us when our actions are those that represent heaven. These are the times when we really see his power in operation. The bottom line is that we can’t thrive when our hearts and minds are not conducive to the lively loveliness of the Spirit. God is interested in what is going on with our hearts, because that’s where the action is. It’s part of the reason that God placed the Spirit on the inside of us. It’s there that we need the most help.

    We’ve really got to come into consciousness about how we’re reacting to the world around us. If we’re in a bad mood all the time, and we’re angry or disappointed, God has a remedy for this. He tells us to renew our minds to His Word and to trust Him with all our hearts. We need to talk to Him daily, be very honest with Him, and then listen for His response. We need to pray and trust that He’ll help us reroute ourselves, so that we can begin to attract blessings and make the indwelling Holy Spirit feel right at home.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

     “Don’t Break His Heart”, written for findchristianman ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Turn from Your Past and Usher in A New Joy!

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” As workman of the scriptures, we are often warned to be sure to put verses of scripture in their proper context. It is helpful to know who the Lord has inspired the writer to write to, and why. Sometimes it is doctrinal, and other times it is rebuke and correction. Philippians 3:13-14 is a passage that is so timeless and far reaching in its encouragement that any context would be too small a box to contain it.

    From what we know about Paul, he laid it all out there for us. He talked about the challenges of being a Christian in such blatant terms, and he was so honest about the struggles of the flesh. He wanted to please God with all his heart, but he was at times bombarded with so many obstacles. This is always an area that really tugs at my heart, because I know what it feels like to take one step forward, only to be knocked two steps back. It can really do a number on you, especially when you don’t understand what’s happening and why. This is one of the reasons that I endeavor to encourage sisters in the Lord that might be going through some of the tribulations that I have experienced in life. I believe it is my calling to help educate, uplift, and encourage, because I know God will deliver us from all affliction. We just need to have faith.

    We must bear in mind that pain will thrive and increase in an environment that is void of faith; because sometimes, we are so distracted by what is happening in our lives that we forget about our faith and forfeit the hope it brings. The enemy sniffs out this waning, and then bombards us with one thing after the other, so that our senses are overwhelmed. We’re so busy trying to put the pieces back together that we wake up one day and find we have been overwhelmed to the point of numbness. We become numb to the Word of God, and we start to believe that our only recourse is to continue shutting down.

    If you’ve ever been abused emotionally, physically or mentally, this feeling of being numb seems very natural. We retreat to familiar patterns when anything like devastation or disappointment come into play, and we will often switch off emotions like hope, joy, and faith for fear that they will let us down. We feel like punching bags, and many of us are emotionally exhausted from the fight.

    The Apostle Paul’s Road to Damascus experience was a shock to his total being. If any of us had been in his shoes, we may not have survived it. As he recovered and pursued the work of Jesus Christ vigorously, he faced some pretty tough opposition and circumstances—some of which you and I can’t really imagine. He wasn’t a super human. He didn’t have super hero powers. He was just a man that knew in his heart that Jesus Christ is real.

    Again, he talked about the struggle of bringing his mind under the authority of Christ amid the danger and chaos he faced. He was a man that had committed unthinkable cruelty against the followers of Christ, but then he was converted; he became a believer of the Lord Jesus Christ! Can you imagine the emotional heaviness he must have felt when thinking about how cruel he had once been to Christians? He could have chosen to be numb, so that he wouldn’t think about it or feel those feelings. This is why the passage in Philippians 3:13-14 is so precious, because Paul admitted that he wasn’t where he knew he should be, but he was determined that his past was not going to keep him from running the race and receiving the prize. This has to be our stance as well.

    Paul encouraged us in love to never get tired of living for Christ. The enemy will try and use the complexities of our pasts to exhaust us, to paralyze us in hopelessness and fear. This can make a person want to remain in a cocoon, but God’s love will cast out this kind of fear if we let it. No matter how down we are, no matter what has happened in our lives; no matter what pains we are carrying in our souls, we can look to God and know that the Holy Spirit is within us working to will and do of God’s good pleasure.

    Our walks in Christ are being perfected. This means that we turn our focus away from the past, just like Paul did. We should hold on to God with both hands, trusting that His work within us will be a good one. We can release those emotions that are holding us back, grab on to the hope of Christ, and usher in a new joy in our lives. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Turn from Your Past and Usher in A New Joy!”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Go for the Gusto and Don’t Lose Steam!

    It truly is a discerning time—a time to get pumped and motivated to do some things differently. Numbers too great to count are those who still find themselves without a good man to call their own. This isn’t God’s Will, and it is so wonderful that many sisters in Christ are coming to this realization. You recognize that you do not have to sit idly by, paralyzed by doubt. You can mobilize the resources that God has extended to change the outcomes of your life. This is good news indeed.

    For many single women, it may seem that you’ve experienced this level of motivation and excitement before, and it appears to you that nothing was accomplished. This isn’t true. Whether or not you acknowledge it, you moved yourself closer to what God has promised.

    If we will be completely honest with ourselves, we have to admit that for a brief period we determined to go for the gusto, but then, when things did not turn around as quickly and clearly as we had hoped, we lost steam.

    Gusto is defined as great enjoyment, energy, and enthusiasm. All three of these, enjoyment, energy, and enthusiasm, are jewels. They are invaluable when it comes to holding our desires in our minds and hearts with faith and focus. Losing steam is exactly the opposite. It is a state of mind that is down, droopy, and doubtful. Unfortunately, this is where a lot of single Christian sisters end up. They spend just a short amount of time with gusto, and then quickly become deflated and unhopeful when there isn’t an immediate outcome of their efforts.

    To keep hope alive and gusto charging with full steam ahead, one of the most important transformations we must engage is a change in our expectations. God tells us in Romans 12:2 to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This isn’t something we do once and then stop. It isn’t something we do for a short while, and then give up. Renewing is a perpetual process. It never stops. The sheer nature of the word ‘renewal’ demands that we recognize the things that are no longer working for us. Then we change them and institute things that the Word of God guarantees will work for us.

    If we’ve hit a snag, stall, or wall, the misfire is clue#1 that renewal is in order. This realization is truly necessary when we seek to change our expectations. We have to understand that what used to work for us is no longer doing the trick, or it could be that things we thought were working actually didn’t work at all. Whatever the case, we need to be clear that renewing means we’re willing to go back to square one and throw out what didn’t work. Then we need to reassess, reprioritize, and begin to rebuild. This allows us to realign our expectations in a way that places Jesus Christ at the helm.

    The reality is that it took time for us to get to where we are today in our walk with Christ and in our lives overall. And it will take time to give our faith the processing time it needs to yield different results—results that are within the wonderful destiny that God has predetermined for our lives.

    Again, going for the gusto means that enjoyment, energy, and enthusiasm are top notch in your mental and emotional state. It means understanding that you can’t sink to the bottom rails of sadness, apathy, and doubt. You are the master builder of your life. God didn’t give any of us the power and authority to rule over another human being. He gave us power and authority through Jesus Christ to rule and reign in our own lives. If you are a mentally healthy individual, you can decide what you are going to think, feel, do, and say. You can effectively change your thoughts and feelings to receive exponentially successful results. Know that this is not only doable; it’s your destiny to work this out through the power of the Holy Spirit!

    Once you decide that this is the time for you to go for it, recognize that faith does not respond to a whim or a quick notion. Faith responds to the authority of Jesus Christ. This means that your heart and mind must be fully persuaded in the goodness of God. This full persuasion is the thing that causes you to be happy in the face of setbacks and adversity. Being fully persuaded is the thing that causes you to have warm flutters of optimism in your spirit, because you know beyond knowing that God is going to back His promises in your life.

    Hosea 14:9 (NLT) tells us, “Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.” When you recognize that this is a discerning time in your life, and that it’s time to go for the gusto, understand that you have the great privilege to measure up to the standard of Christ by matching your emotions and thoughts to the emotions and thoughts of the Holy Spirit that indwells you. When you do this, gusto is achieved, steam will continually flow, and the locomotive of your faith will be in full effect. Never lose heart. You can have what God says you can have! Keep the faith!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Go for the Gusto and Don’t Lose Steam!”, written for findchristianman.com ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!