Find A Christian Man

Category: Preparation for Marriage

Marriage preparation begins long before the wedding day. Explore biblical teaching on becoming spiritually prepared for covenant through your relationship with God, prayer, healing, maturity, character, wisdom, and a growing understanding of what God designed marriage to be.

  • Weeding Out What Isn’t Working for You

    Weeding Out What Isn’t Working for You

    I’m letting you know up front that this is going to be one of those teachings that encourages you to keep on fighting for the life you want, but I’m also aiming to do something else. I’m going to tell you what God says we must do in order to obtain and maintain the blessing we’re praying so fervently to possess. It is a message for those that are single, and they are praying to cross paths with the person God is going to present to them. The emphasis should be placed on the reality that God is the One to make the presentation. He takes care of this part. The believer’s responsibility in the situation is to believe. “To believe what?”, you might ask. We must believe God’s Word. This is critical to securing the marital union you desire. And one of the major reasons why it is so critical may be something you’ve never thought about.

    If you’ve been single for a while, you’ve learned a few things about what works and what doesn’t work. How do you know what doesn’t work? The only way that you and I can judge if something isn’t working is to stack it up against the truth of God’s Word. Our beautiful single and saved sisters will go to classes, seminars, and try several ways to secure what they desire, but the question to ask is whether those things are actually in the Will of God for your life. The world offers many gimmicks for getting what we want most, but problems are not solved by gimmicks; they are band aids. Only the Word of God can solve problems.

    There are times when you feel as though you’re getting close. You may sense that something has shifted in your flow, and you start to feel optimistic about things. Then, after a while, when nothing pans out, it just takes the wind right out of you. In a situation like this, the foundation of hope and optimism slips from beneath your feet, and your heart sinks yet again. But that’s just it, sisters in Christ, these feelings show us the kind of foundation we were building our hope on. In other words, the foundation you thought you had, and the foundation God expects to see in you are sometimes two different things.

    Whether it is firm or shaky, our whole lives are resting on a foundation. The foundation that God expects to see in us is one built on Jesus Christ. He especially wants to see this in us before we get married. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:24-25(NIV), “24 Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

    When something is taking a really, really long time to come to pass, this might be a hint that weeding out what isn’t working for you is the best course of action. The critical piece of information that you and I must know is that God cannot reward us if we refuse to make our foundation strong. If our foundation is shaky, it can’t hold the weight of the blessing we seek. This is something most of us never consider. The key to unlocking the door to blessings is following the Will of God for your life. There is absolutely no compromise on this truth. Heavenly Father desires us to grow in the example of Jesus Christ, and God never gives up on His plans. Our desire for marriage is not as important as God’s Will being done.

    Moses told God’s people in Deuteronomy 4:9(NIV), “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Longevity, permanence, and unfailing are Heavenly Father’s trademarks. Eternity is His brand and it is always on His mind. He is interested in preserving His Word so that people will have it in their hearts forever. This is why there must not be a compromise in our minds and hearts when it comes to the perfection of His Word. The world cannot tell us what is right. The standard of God’s Word must be our aim, and when our commitment is unmovable when it comes to what God says, the blessings we desire most are sure to come.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Weeding Out What Isn’t Working for You” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I See You!

    I See You!

    1 Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of disorder, confusion, or chaos, but He is the One True God of peace. This yummy morsel of knowledge is extremely consequential to any believer’s quest to partner with the person that God will present to them. If we start the journey towards marital partnership from a place of disorder, confusion, and chaos, we will more than likely witness results that come with these attributes. We will meet with frustration and perhaps even exasperation. A better way is to check out what God has to say on the matter BEFORE we begin this quest, because the bottom line is that He is the One who does the presentations. If we’re faithful to His Word, He will present us with the person who will love us the way we deserved to be loved.

    I don’t know many believers today that haven’t read or haven’t heard about the verses in Genesis 3:8-9(NLT), where Adam and Eve hid from God. It tells us, “8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” You and I can never, ever forget that our destiny in Christ must be the focal point of our motivation every day. We have a destiny! It is the storage container for everything in life we’re supposed to do, everything we’re supposed to be, and everything we’re supposed to have. Nothing about us and the life we’re destined to live is hidden from God. He knows every nook and cranny of our existences. It’s impossible to hide from Him. When Heavenly Father called out to Adam and said, “Where are you, Adam?” Of course God knew Adam’s physical location. He called out to Adam in this way because Adam had lost his identity. He betrayed his destiny by allowing the devil to steal it. Adam was no longer the person God created him to be. He had lost his sacred connection to Heavenly Father—he lost his holiness.

    When God looks at us, He is looking to see the Christ in us; for Colossians 3:3 affirms that our real life is hidden in Jesus Christ. If our character, behaviors, attitudes, and lifestyles are not aligned with the person we are destined by God to be, the question to us is “where are you?” God has blessings to give us, but if we’re hiding from the truth of who we are, those blessings can’t find us.

    I play hide-and-seek with my daughter, and she loves to hunt for the perfect spot to hide. But when I find her on every occasion, she grows tired of the game rather quickly. We, too, will get tired of the game, and many of us will throw up our hands in despair, thinking that God isn’t cooperating with our efforts to get married. Many of us wear ourselves out playing the game of trying to hide our sins from God and from the rest of the world. We can’t be hidden in Christ and hidden in sin at the same time. We may tell ourselves that we can continue doing what we’ve always done, and that God will excuse it or give us a pass, but God doesn’t play games. He says what He means and means what He says. He sees all and knows all, nothing is hidden from Him. He has commanded that we honor Him by obeying His Word, and He will not reward us when we don’t.

    Our Heavenly Father knows our thoughts, good and bad. He knows what we’re going to do before we even think about doing it. He still chooses to love us. He doesn’t stop loving us when we don’t do what He expects. But we should know that He desires us to stop trying to hide our sins; instead we should just stop sinning. He has empowered us through Jesus Christ, and we are who God says we are. There should be no more hiding behind the lies of sin. It is a shame for God’s daughters to persist year after year without marital partners to love and honor them. God wants us to come out of this shame and stop allowing the fear of loneliness and lack to rule over us. This isn’t who we are.

    God sees the real ‘you’. This is the person you are destined to become. This is the wife you are destined to become. For the benefit of your soul, consider taking a break from all negativity, and use the time to draw near to Heavenly Father. Ask Him what you should be doing, how you should be doing it, and when you should do it. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you along the path to marriage and trust the Lord Jesus Christ to steer your life in the direction he desires. Don’t allow anything to be a roadblock to the life God desires you to have. Let your life be hidden in Christ so that when it comes to your blessings, God never has to ask, “where are you?”

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “I See You!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Forgetting the Things of the Past

    Forgetting the Things of the Past

    We should never judge a book by its cover. This is one of those golden rules, and it truly is one to live by. Judging something solely on the basis of what appears externally can be a costly mistake, and many single women can testify to this. A person can be pleasing to the eye, but what’s going on inside of them can tell a completely different story. When you’re dating someone like this, it can be the most disappointing thing. The person looked to have it all together, but after getting to know them a little better, something just isn’t quite right. Regardless of how a person looks, when there’s an incompatibility between souls, it leads to all kinds of complications. This is a lesson that should prompt us to look in the mirror, because many of us look the part of a woman that’s got it going on, but on the inside, we’re burdened and suffering. Many of us never stop to think that our refusal to let some things go may be blocking us from the blessings we are destined to receive.

    We all know women who hide behind their pain. Marilyn is one of them. The odd thing is that she’s someone that no one would ever suspect is unhappy. She’s 39 years old and married with two children. She’s been a high school teacher for many years, and all her students love her. Her husband adores her as well, and she is a very loving mother, but Marilyn is also a very sad woman on the inside. Her bathroom shower is her place of solace, and there she cries her heart out just about every night. She is very tired of feeling sad but doesn’t trust that anything can make it better.

    Thoughts of her past are tormenting. She copes with it during the day by keeping as busy as possible, but at night the memories come flooding back in. Something happened years ago that shook her to her core, and she refuses to allow anyone to see her pain, not even her husband of fourteen years.

    It is shocking to think that a person can function with this much pain and do everything within their power to keep it from everyone else. The truth is that many of us do this because we’ve never learned how not to do it. The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Whether we know it or not, God is giving us a strategy for handling a troubling past, and Paul proved that it works, because if anyone had a troubling past, it was him. Paul trusted Christ, and through God’s grace, he put his past behind him.

    He tells us that we have to focus, and this focus comes in two steps: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Both of these work together, but sometimes we make a habit of looking back. The fear of looking forward has tripped many of us because we think we might be disappointed if we get our hopes up. It’s just like meeting a very attractive person and discovering they have a really yucky personality. It’s a let-down, but that doesn’t mean that every attractive person is this way. There are some people that are beautiful on the outside and inside. So, something horrible may have happened in the past, but we shouldn’t give the past so much power that it shapes and molds our futures.

    In 1Corinthians 3:10, Paul said that God had given him the grace to be a wise master builder, and because of this empowerment, he had laid a foundation. This is what you and I must do as well. We must build on the foundation laid by Jesus Christ, and the way to do this is to have faith that he will bless us and keep us surrounded in his safety. In John 10:10, Jesus Christ said that he left the throne of God and came to earth to make a more than abundant life available to us. It is up to you and I to walk in faith and manifest this abundance. We can have fulfillment, liberty, and love in our lives through Christ, and we must be sold out on the truth of this. We can do it, because God said it can be done. We don’t have to get stuck in the past because we are afraid to be happy in the present, but this is what Marilyn did. She was afraid of so many things, and she worried all the time. Nothing made her happy, and she expected to always be disappointed, no matter the situation. She would not allow her heart to trust Jesus Christ.

    Trusting Jesus Christ with our pain is the solution! We don’t have to walk around with a bad attitude and allow pain to paint our hearts with darkness and fear. We can choose to forget the past! Jesus Christ instructs us in Matthew 11:28-30(NIV), “28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The rest that Jesus Christ gives us is spiritual. It’s supernatural, which means it bypasses our understanding. Our only responsibility is to simply surrender to his care.

    Meeting the special person that God has ordained for our lives is truly a blessing. We want them to be compatible with us, but we should honor the reality that they will want the same thing. Meeting someone that is one thing on the outside but something completely different on the inside isn’t anyone’s ideal soulmate, so we should do everything in our power not to be someone like that. Wear the love of Jesus Christ by accepting it totally and letting it saturate your heart. Don’t cling to the past, cling to him, because you can’t do both. Release your burdens to him, and trust in the blessings that God has in store for your life. You can do it because Jesus Christ says you can. Focus on trusting him and you’ll be amazed at the difference it will make in your life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Forgetting the Things of the Past” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride

    It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride

    2Thessalonians 3:15(NLT) gives us a tremendous jewel of comfort. It says “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.” This verse is so comforting that we might forget to absorb the wisdom of it. Heavenly Father is a God of peace. He reiterates this for us in 1Corinthians 14:33, which again tells us that He’s not the author of confusion or disorder but of peace. This aspect of God’s nature is very important to us because we are blessed when we bring forth His peace into chaotic situations and conditions. But sometimes, even though we try to be peace makers, people will reject the peace of God. They don’t want any part of His peace, because it will mean they have to accept the responsibility that comes with it. This rejection can be particularly hurtful, and potentially harmful, when the person who rejects God’s peace is the most significant person in your life.

    In the beginning of a relationship, both people are usually on their best behaviors. You are learning each other’s mannerisms and quirks and trying to build a friendship that deepens as time progresses. Sometimes women are less patient with this process than their male counterparts. This is especially true if she has been without a partner for a while. I remember hearing a dear sister say that she’s never been the kind of woman that turns the heads of most men. She’s always been the one that they see as just a friend. So, when she first met her current boyfriend and he took notice of her, she threw caution to the wind and leaped into the relationship full force.

    The problem with this is that sometimes both people do not want the same things and haven’t come to a true understanding about this. As God’s daughters, naturally we want to be a blessing in our ministries as wives and mothers. And not only this, we want the promises of God to be manifested in our lives. He loves us, and we know that He desires our happiness more than we desire it for ourselves. We are dedicated to trusting that God will bless a marital union with someone that values us as a compatible, loyal, and committed life partner. This is our expectation, and it is a realistic one. However, it can potentially create disharmony in a relationship when the other person doesn’t want the same thing.

    Have you ever been on a roller-coaster ride? This is essentially what a relationship of disharmony feels like. It’s the feeling of creeping up to the top of the ride, plunging down the other side, turning upside down, and then back up again. This is what it feels like to be in a relationship that has no direction or destination. You’re flip-flopping. At times things feel okay, but deep down you always know they’re not. Often the peace of God is missing in a relationship like this, for God tells us in Amos 3:3(KJV), “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Heavenly Father wants us to receive the blessing of a beautiful marriage, and sometimes the person we’re with just isn’t willing or can’t offer this to us.

    Even though we don’t make it blatantly obvious, some of us carry resentment, and its because we won’t face reality. Just beneath the surface is anger because the person we love is refusing to cooperate with our agenda. It comes out in the relationship in many ways. You may continue to tell yourself that the relationship is worth hanging on to and that eventually he will want to get married, but Godly wisdom and perspective is necessary. We must be so careful that we have the courage to have a mind that desires God’s peace more than a piece of a relationship.

    God’s peace conveys confidence that we’ll meet a man that equals our capacity to give and love. When we meet him, we’ll know it deep within, and more importantly, he’ll know it too. It is beneath the privilege of God’s daughters to have to try and convince a man we’re worthy of a marriage commitment. At some point we should desire to get off the bumpy, unsteady ride of a relationship that isn’t grounded in the peace of common goals, common love, and common commitment to God and to one another. Want what God has for you, and don’t be afraid to release something that isn’t from Him.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • What Are You Waiting For?

    What Are You Waiting For?

    The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I have always loved this passage because it can be easily and practically applied to daily living. The context of this passage pertains to those who sit back and wait for conditions to be perfect before they prepare their hearts and minds to take care of God’s business. We see this posture quite often in believers, and dare I be so bold as to say, we see it very prominently displayed in many single men. Some will say they must be more financially secure before they seek a wife, or they need to get all the ‘playerism’ out of their systems before they make that matrimonial move. It’s important for us to use the wisdom of God’s Word when this game is being played. Then we can put the ball in God’s court, so that we don’t end up on the sidelines when it comes to marriage and living the dream.

    Heavenly Father uses the practicality of a farmer in His Word because every human that is living, or who has ever lived, is on this earth to sow. If we fail to understand or engage this element of our responsibility as God’s children, we miss the whole ball of wax. There’s so much labor involved in farming, and it ain’t easy. It’s sometimes arduous work. Now, a farmer that’s NOT on the grind and isn’t about business will use any excuse to prolong the wait. He or she will not even go out into the fields until they think conditions are prime for it. A diligent farmer will rise early and get to work no matter the conditions. She or he has learned to be productive, rain or shine. They can make do whether the harvest is plentiful or small.

    The context of Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 also reveals something about our expectations. To sow is to invest. It is to plant something with the expectation that it will yield something greater. Sisters, this is a very important definition to consider. Sometimes, we give the best we have to offer to a man, including our bodies; and he’s not even the one. We make this overwhelming investment with no indication of yielding the return that such a hefty investment is due. We don’t get the courtship. We don’t get his time. We don’t get to know his loved ones. We don’t get sweet and sentimental gifts, and we don’t get a ring. We were farmers, but not on good ground.

    Good ground is ground with a track record of producing beneficial crops. So, the logical thing to do for anyone seeking to be a spouse is to make sure they are good ground, that they have done what is required of them by the Lord Jesus Christ. They’ve committed themselves to good deeds, because we know from James 2:14 that if we say we have faith but haven’t done the good works to back it up, then our faith is dead. What good to a marriage is dead faith?

    We are God’s children; this means that we already have all we need to be powerful and impactful human beings on this earth. We don’t have to wait on anything to get good deeds done – we just have to DO! Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we’re God’s workmanship, that He created us in Christ Jesus specifically to perform good works. So, we have to ask ourselves if we’re good ground according to God’s standard. If we are, then the right farmer will certainly recognize it.

    What are you waiting for? You’re waiting on God to bring your harvest! But this means you had to have planted some good seeds of good works. Heavenly Father designed things in such a way that we are both farmers at times, and good ground at others. As believers that desire a good and lasting marriage, we ought to be sowing seeds that please God. We’re not doing it solely for the benefit of finding a spouse. We should be doing it because that’s what Heavenly Father has asked us to do. The investments we make to share, give, and love others according to the example of Christ will set us up for future blessings. 

    Do yourself a great favor and continue to prepare for your harvest. Recognize that the good deeds you do for the Lord are adding up. As a farmer, you can’t expect that every seed will sprout at God’s appointed time. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 9:38 that God is in charge of the harvest. He will reward you with a spouse that is worthy of your investment. Until then, keep planting good deeds, and don’t let any lazy farmers play around with your good ground. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Are You Waiting For?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Want What God Has for You!

    Want What God Has for You!

    Edna woke up and got ready for work, just as she does every day. She made her regular stop to grab a cup of coffee, but for some reason the drive-thru was extraordinarily long. She didn’t want to be late for work and decided she’d make out better by going inside to purchase her coffee. This would be a simple decision for most people, but Edna avoided placing herself in certain situations. She was very insecure about her smile and certain parts of her body. Most people considered her to be an attractive woman in her 50s, but she didn’t see herself this way. Not ever being married or even coming close to it had done a number on her self-esteem. She thought she might not ever meet someone who would appreciate her just as she was.

    Edna had been praying for God to bless her with a man that would see her and not her imperfect smile and large hips. We all know what it feels like when we want something so bad, we’d do just about anything to get it. You may stay on your knees all night and pray all day just to see a certain thing come to pass in your life. The truth of the matter is that every day presents us with an opportunity to do something different than the day before. Lamentations 3:23 tells us that God’s mercies are new every morning. This means we need to make sure our fellowship with Him is flourishing, so we can know and respond to what He’s up to in our lives.

    1 Corinthians 15:58 The Message (MSG) says, “With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.” Our Heavenly Father never changes, but we do. God tells us that we should be always growing and going higher in Christ. Because of the race we’re in down here on earth, this makes change a constant dynamic in the life of a believer.

    When Edna was in her late 30s, she became so desponded about not being married that she closed off parts of herself from everyone. She hardly ever switched up her routine and didn’t go places outside of those common to her. She wasn’t renewed in the spirit of her mind about the blessings of God or her responsibility to walk in His love. Instead, she became pessimistic about her existence. This is never helpful. It closes doors to the very opportunities we need to see.

    Colossians 3:12 (NLT) tells us, “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Our God is brilliant! There’s a purpose and reason for everything that He tells us to do. We don’t always understand the transformation that believing His Word ignites, but things change for us when we are firmly committed to living for God through the Lord Jesus Christ. It took a while, but Edna humbled herself and begin to pray to receive only what God wanted for her. Pleasing Him became her primary motivation.

    Her day had started out like any other, but as Edna stood in line at her favorite coffee spot, the next gentleman in front of her asked if she wanted to go ahead of him; he was waiting on his order to be corrected. She obliged, and they began a conversation that led to an exchange of numbers. He phoned later that evening and they talked over an hour.

    God knows the doors that need to be open in our hearts so that we begin to attract the blessings we desire most and draw ourselves closer to them. He’s not in heaven moving us around like puppets. He created the universe in such a way that it responds favorably to our faith in Him. When we humble ourselves and take even the smallest step to put Jesus Christ in the driver’s seat of our lives, his light will guide us. He will make sure that we’re in the right place at the right time to receive what He has for us.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Want What God Has for You!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Promise of Victory

    The Promise of Victory

    1Corinthians 15:57 tells us to give thanks to God, for He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. This isn’t a victory that takes us to the half-way mark and drops us off. It’s overwhelming victory that applies to every aspect of your existence. It’s a huge arena, because the victory we have in Christ covers the expanse your entire life, every nook and cranny of it. So, underestimating the flexibility that God requires of us is a mistake. We have to walk by His divine guidance and direction every moment of every day, because spiritual training is never ending, but it’s the best thing that could ever happen to us, because victory in Christ is guaranteed. Again, this doesn’t apply to just one area of our lives; through Jesus Christ, we can have victory in every area. However, when it comes to victory in marital partnership, some of us are still warming up for the race. We’re learning how to maximize faith by beginning at a slower pace. Heavenly Father is making sure we don’t burn out in the middle of the race.

    Victory means that you’re going to be uncomfortable. For many of us, this discomfort comes from being patient longer than we’d like and not knowing exactly what we ought to be doing during the wait. Well, one of the things we must do during the wait is prepare for what a marital future will hold for us. In consideration of this, my pastor reminds me to make sure Romans 8:37 is firmly etched in my heart. It tells us that we are more than conquerors in the Lord Jesus Christ. This is one of those verses that demonstrates the exceedingly abundant way in which God delivers on His promises. Most of us would have been thrilled to pieces about just being a conqueror—being able to tackle a few hefty challenges in life, but Jesus Christ has made us more than this. He made us more than conquerors because we need to be.

    Being a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ will cost you something—victory always does. You can’t be more than a conqueror without having something to conquer. We’re going to have to go through some things, and we don’t have the luxury of skimming the surface. There’s a cross to bear, and the Apostle Paul was talking about this in Romans 8. During the biblical time in which he lived, believers were always in life or death situations. Ephesians 6:12 (KJV) says, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Believers in Paul’s time were up against this in a very real way because they were constantly under attack. By inspiration of the Spirit of God, Paul had to remind them who they were; they were more than conquerors through Christ and so are we.

    Being a child of God means everything! If you weren’t a daughter of the Most High, you would probably choose a different kind of man, but because God has a plan for your life and your husband’s life, as a couple more is at stake. It is incredibly important that we demonstrate a pattern of making our relationship with God through Jesus Christ our number one priority. This guarantees that we’re increasing in spiritual strength. It means we can hear the directives God communicates regarding how to protect and maintain our marital unions.

    It is also essential that we elevate the ministry of marriage above our physical and emotional desire for companionship. The institution of marriage belongs to God. He established it for His purpose. If our thinking about marital partnership doesn’t jive with a primary desire to please God first, and please our spouses second, our hearts will send the wrong signal, and the wrong person will pick it up.

    God said in Isaiah 43:15-19(NLT), “I am the LORD, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”  This is the God we serve. He’s a God of promise! He is a God of victory! There’s nothing that compares to the plan He has for us and the victory He has already set in motion for our lives.

    Things will not always be easy. There are evil forces working against our happiness and plotting to intercept our future marriages as well, but God has already worked this out. He’s already begun a new work within us, and He is sure to finish what He started. Let’s not make the mistake of overlooking the obvious. It will take an elevated way of behaving, thinking, and being to continue warming up your faith muscles. Walk with it until you can run with it. Be patient as the Lord prepares you. Pray and ask Him to tell you what you need to strengthen, and what you need to release so that you walk in the victory that Christ has already won. And if you seek the Lord with all your heart, you’ll be able to help your future husband do the same.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Promise of Victory” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Let Your Excitement Dwindle

    Don’t Let Your Excitement Dwindle

    Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and it is the evidence of things not seen. We can’t reach out and touch the substance of faith, but it is more powerful than anything you and I can imagine. Faith allows us to step into our destinies in the Will of God, and it opens the door by which His blessings flow into our lives. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 17:20 that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed, and we can speak to a mountain and have it move. From this we can see that our minds and hearts create the environment for faith to flourish. This means that our thoughts and emotions play an important role. So, when we’re looking to further ourselves in our ambitions and goals, particularly those involving marriage, our thoughts and emotions can help propel us forward or bring us to an abrupt halt.

    Psalm 37:4(NKJV) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse is an invitation for us to delight ourselves in all that God’s Word says He is, but many of us don’t keep the fire that fuels this delight burning in our bellies. Not only have some of us allowed the quest for marital partnership to disappoint us, but we’ve allowed this disappointment to impact the way we view the goodness of God. When I think of this, I’m reminded of my daughter when she celebrated her last birthday. She made a calendar for the month and crossed off every day until she got to her big day. I’d never seen such an enthusiastic and excited child on her birthday than my daughter. It is a blessing to witness this child-like joy. It is exactly the kind of joy we must hold for our Dear Sweet Heavenly Father every day of our lives. He deserves this.

    We decorated her bedroom while she was asleep. That morning she woke up to birthday banners and streamers everywhere. She was so joyous and happy that I didn’t need to prod her at all for school that day. The next morning, I walked into her room, still decorated from the day before, and I asked her, “How’s the birthday girl the day after her big day?” She said, “Not as excited as I was yesterday.” Her excitement had dwindled because there was no anticipation of gifts and goodies the day after.

    As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we must know that God never ceases to give us goodies. However, we should also see very clearly that our faith in God can’t be only driven by what we receive from Him, but by who He is. Life will not hold much gratification from day to day if we are not thrilled beyond belief for the privilege of being His children. 1John 1:5 tells us that He is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. We are His very own, His children of light, because He rescued us from darkness through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    We must grow to a point that the revelation of what God has done through Christ fuels our heart with joy continually. We can never know the degree to which this joy helps us to cross paths with our future spouses, but it makes all the difference. The genuine quality of our delight in God places us squarely on the path to His goodness. Every day should carry the joy of a birthday for the believer. We can wake up with excitement in our hearts because of what God has done for us through Christ, and what He will continue to do to bring blessings and abundance into our lives.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Let Your Excitement Dwindle”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Straighten It Out before Marriage, Or After?

    Straighten It Out before Marriage, Or After?

    Old habit patterns, bad attitudes, and negative ways of thinking can keep us from reaching our full potential in the Lord. These are the things that the devil uses to keep us stagnant, spinning our wheels, so that we lose out on the blessings God has for us. It is important that we know that Heavenly Father most assuredly has blessings He wants to give us. He desires to bring to manifestation the prayer request we’ve been praying about for a long time, but for some of us, our eyes are blind to what God is doing. We can’t see all the opportunities He’s placed within our paths. They are designed to strengthen us spiritually, but because we can’t see these opportunities to be strengthened in our inner man, we lack the spiritual strength to reach out and grab the blessings with our names on them. This is something that we absolutely must change.

    Regarding the complexities and challenges we endure in life, the Apostle Paul prayed this prayer in Ephesians 3:16(NLT), “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.” Paul is letting us know that we don’t have the strength on our own to endure the stuff the devil throws our way. Jesus Christ told us very plainly in John 15:5 that apart from him, we can’t do anything. Of course, we can accomplish lots of things in the earth through human effort, but Jesus Christ is letting us know that these things won’t amount to anything if he’s not in the equation. They won’t further God’s agenda, and if they don’t further God’s agenda in the earth, then they are not worth doing.

    Jesus Christ said in John 6:44(NLT), “For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up.” We don’t come to God on our own. He draws us! He chose us long before we knew about Him, and He’s given us a holy calling. God has something for us to do, and no one can do what He has called you to do quite the way you’ll do it. Your calling is unique just as you are unique. It is your purpose within the destiny God has ordained for your life. It is your identity and speaks to the very core of your existence. This is what you must be committed to do and seek as a follower of Christ.

    God also wants us to be clear that we can’t fulfill our purpose without the strength that He gives us. It’s impossible without His help. Paul prayed that believers would be filled with the Holy Spirit so that the Spirit would work within us to will and do of God’s good pleasure. We need the Spirit’s strength to overcome everything that is being thrown at us. It is God who empowers us to be a blessing, and without His empowerment, our lives will not be in alignment with His Will.

    Many single believers are struggling with the temptation of pre-marital sex and other sexual immoralities. There are sisters who have a deep yearning to be married to the right man, but they have sex with every man they date. God means it when He tells us not to engage in sexual sin. In 1Corinthians 6:15-18(NLT) He tells us, “Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”

    God knows this is a challenging area for many people, and this is why He tells us very plainly that we can’t rely on our own strength. Our strength won’t cut it. We must lean on His strength through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can’t effectively and earnestly pray for God to present us with the treasure of a marital spouse if we have no intention of trusting Him to help us abstain from sexual sin. That would be double-minded. It’s an unstable request. Our prayer must be to grow in the Holy Spirit so that we walk according to his directives and guidance. That should be our main priority.

    We can’t do anything without the strength of God in Christ. We need the faith that comes from witnessing the transformation in our lives from our full surrender to the Spirit. We need to see how God responds to our prayers when we ask Him to help us maintain Godliness. And we need the confidence that comes from knowing we can receive instruction from God about our purpose, as He helps us carry it forth like clockwork. So, understand that Heavenly Father isn’t looking for us to straighten our crooked paths before we get married, He’s looking for us to allow Him to do it from within. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Straighten It Out before Marriage, Or After?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord

  • Committed to the Commitment

    Committed to the Commitment

    Recently, I heard a famous person say that the reason why his marriage didn’t last was because neither he nor his ex-wife were committed to the commitment of marriage. This blew me away! I’d never heard someone pinpoint the issue in their broken relationship so candidly. There was no blaming, hiding behind excuses or dodging responsibility, just a realization of the truth. Most people that get married, or those that have a deep desire to marry, don’t go into the commitment thinking they won’t remain committed. They go into it with an expectation that feelings and emotions they’ve experienced during the initial stage of their relationship will sustain them through any obstacles, and that these feelings will continue to grow and deepen. Many of us never really think through the possibility or inevitability that our feelings will change, and we need to manage this change in order for the relationship to thrive.

    Marriage can be as beautiful and fulfilling as God ordained it to be, but He didn’t create us to be robots, so He won’t overstep or manipulate our feelings and emotions when we’re headed for trouble. This is an area that He’s given us the authority and dominion to govern by walking in the example of Jesus Christ. The reality is that we will make mistakes, and for many of us, our greatest relationship mistakes rests within the realm of our emotions.

    We are born with sin in our bodies, and we are born into a sinful world. It is 100% guaranteed that we will have issues at some point. We’ve got some ingrained shortcomings passed down to us through generational sin, and these things can quickly spawn negative habit patterns. They can eventually turn into strongholds as we mature and develop into adults. A whole lot of us are oblivious to this. We don’t think about the impact of entrenched patterns, nor do we think about the emotional fall-out from having someone infringe upon them, or how we will be changed by a person continually posing the threat of triggering something we don’t like.

    In Job 3:25, Job said that the thing that he feared most had come upon him. This is a lesson for us, whether we’re interested in marriage or not. Internal sore spots and wounds are ways of describing the condition of what the heart carries. The heart has storage capacity. It’s a treasury; it holds stuff, and sometimes it holds the wrong stuff. Remember when Adam and Eve sinned, and when God asked him about it, Adam said, “It’s the woman you gave me, she made me do it!” Sin ushered in shame. Before they sinned, there was no knowledge of shame and no experience of it. Their sin caused them to have this emotion, because the knowledge of evil was in their hearts and minds. This knowledge opens the door for all kinds of remnants of fear. This is what shame is, it is a derivative of fear.

    Adam deflected to Eve because he didn’t want to go to the place of accountability and responsibility. It was painful, and he didn’t want to experience pain. He didn’t want to own the reality that he had violated God’s Word, bowed to the devil, and disappointed Heavenly Father. The darkness of his action was just too heavy for him to deal with. This is how those of us living today handle our baggage as well. Part of our self-preservation tactic is to deflect, blame or lash-out when a nerve is struck so that we don’t have to revisit or touch the sore place in our hearts.

    This is one of the reasons God gives single people that are praying to be married a good bit of time these days prior to marriage. He wants us to deal with some of the issues that might hinder us from choosing the destiny partner He has ordained. Many of us are raised with values that don’t lend themselves to accepting responsibility and acknowledging our stuff. We don’t surrender it to the Lord Jesus Christ. Instead, we cover it up and make excuses. God has commanded that we renew our minds to the mind of Christ. This means cultivating a different way of viewing and dealing with remnants of fear.

    Ephesians 5:33(NLT) tells us, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” A good friend of mine gave me some really good advice that will help keep God’s command in Ephesians 5:33. She said “Keep God at the center of your union, love on each other as much as possible, and don’t sweat the small stuff.” It takes prayer and a willingness to follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit to come to a place in our walk in Christ where we don’t sweat the small stuff.

    When two people become one, a process takes place. You just don’t get married one day and have your oneness solidified in your hearts and minds the next. You have to go through some ups and downs in life together, so that your commitment and faith in God is purified by the fire. The reality is that it’s possible and likely that your partner will hurt you in ways you can’t begin to imagine from where you’re standing today. They will know you best, and also know your most vulnerable places. Those places where fear is hiding out will be exposed in a marriage. It ain’t pretty, but we must be anchored in our commitment to God and be willing to allow His love to fill the place where hurt and fear resided. If we’re obedient, our commitment to Him will strengthen our marriages through challenging times.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Committed to the Commitment”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!