Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritually preparing for marriage

God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.

Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.

Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.

We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.

A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.

We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.

One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.

Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.

Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.

Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.

Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 1, 2022
Should You Pursue A Man?

Whether or not a woman should pursue a man is a question that many women have been asking a long time. I’ve had this conversation with a few of my friends, and one of them was very adamant about her approach. She was divorced a few years ago and has loved being single. Admittedly, she’d like to marry again one day, but until it happens, she believes a woman has the responsibility of making things happen for herself. Known for her brazenness, it was no surprise to hear her say that she’s not one to wait on the man to make the first move. She said, “God gave you the ability to know what fits your needs, so if you see something you like, go for it.”

There are really two important troubled spots that we want to avoid in relationships with the significant people in our lives. One of them is heartache, and the other is a collision that lands you outside of God’s Will for your life. Both can send you catastrophically down the wrong path, where you could potentially spend the rest of your life paying for mistakes that could have been avoided.

Romans 8:29-30(NLT) says, “29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” Look at God’s thoughts about us, and the wonderful plan He laid out for our lives. Long before we were born, He already knew all there is to know about us. We didn’t choose Him first, He chose us first, and He called us to come to Him. God didn’t leave our destinies to chance. He launched them further back in time than we can imagine. This is the framework that He has ordained for how we should approach our life’s journey. Everything about our lives should line up with His plan.

God has been gracious beyond what any of us could ever deserve, and He’s given us many blessings, but He didn’t give us the faith of Jesus Christ to promote our own agendas. He gave it to us to promote His agenda. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. So, if we leave our destinies up to our own ability to know what fits our needs, we could end up in a destination that takes us outside of God’s Word. That’s a dangerous place to be.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” There are two very important keys in the truth Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:8, and we can never afford to forget them. Number one, our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need, and number two, He’s the One to ask when it comes to fulfilling every need that we perceive. We don’t just run off trying to fulfill them ourselves. The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 3:5(NLT), “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

God’s Word is not old fashioned. It’s life! Thank Heavenly Father for His Word and the order He has given us so we can live an abundant life. Partnering is too important to leave to chance. Someone who looks right might be the biggest trick of the devil we could imagine; they could wreak total havoc on our lives. Pursuing a man just because he seems right, without having direction from God, might be society’s preferred way, but it can never be the way for a follower of Jesus Christ. We must always remember that when it comes to dating, there’s only one rule book and only one right way, it’s the Word of God. Pursue the Word, and the right man will pursue you.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Should You Pursue A Man?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 17, 2022
Who Do You Belong To?

A wonderful sister in Christ had her first date with someone that she’s known for a while, but he was never really on her radar. The date went rather well, and she felt really good about things. A few days after their date, she wondered whether it was a good idea for her to reach out and make contact, because she hadn’t heard anything from him since the date. When she asked for my opinion, I in turn asked her one question, “Who do you belong to?” She knew instantly what I meant. She affirmed it with a nod and replied “God!” My question had absolutely nothing to do with arrogance, and it has everything to do with faith. If you’ve been praying for God to bless you with your destiny partner, you must have confidence that when he meets you, he will know who you are.

Dating is one of the areas in life where a person can think they are walking by faith, but fear is the thing that motivates a lot of their actions. It is important for us to understand that faith does not respond to a whim. It’s not wishy washy, or ambiguous. You either have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ or you don’t. It is impossible to operate by both faith and fear. We can’t serve two masters. We have to chose which one we’re going to stand on.

It is very common in a situation like my friend experienced for the woman to feel as though she might have said or done something to offend, or that perhaps the man was left with the impression she wasn’t interested. She might think, “Maybe I should give things a nudge.” The thoughtful creatures that many women are, we immediately go into ‘fix it’ mode. This isn’t going to be helpful towards your confidence or his.

What will be helpful is to take a closer examination of how faith operates. Mark 9 gives us the record of a Father that was desperately seeking help for his son. The boy was possessed by a demon, and the father had gone to some of the disciples to cast the demon out of the boy. They were not able to do it. A crowd had gathered around the disciples because of the spectacle of this father and son. Jesus approached them and asked what was happening. The boy’s father spoke up and explained the situation. He then said to Jesus in Mark 9:22(NKJV), “But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

“IF” is not strong enough to connect and move faith to manifest results, because “IF” does not equal the truth. 2Corinthians 1:20(NLT) says, “For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” This is the mindset of a fully persuaded believer; it’s the mindset that our powerful Lord deserves. Jesus Christ didn’t abandon the boy’s father and leave him with his “IF”, he helped him to get his mind right. Jesus said to him in Mark 9:23(NKJV), “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” The father then said, “Lord I believe, but I may need some help. Please help my unbelief.” Jesus then healed the boy and casted out the evil spirit.

The right man for you is never an “IF”. He’s a resounding “Yes!” Do you believe this? Amos 3:3(NIV) is the question that sets the stage for razor sharp wisdom. It says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” No person can make or force an individual to give something they are not willing to give. As women, we must come into agreement with God’s order, purpose, and Will. We cannot second guess His staggering genius and intellect. He created men and women to respond to each other in a certain way, and He made sure that a man will recognize his spouse and will not stop until he has made this queen his wife. This is what all real men do.

You are not a defective product that needs repair, and neither is your future spouse. Want what God has for you and nothing less. Time expended on the wrong one is time better spent sharpening your faith for the right one. Have faith in God. He cannot fail and He never disappoints. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Who Do You Belong To?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 3, 2022
When Impressing God Is Your Number One Goal

Walking away from a relationship can be one of the most emotionally challenging things for a person to go through. Any sister in Christ that has waited a long time to meet someone she believes is compatible knows firsthand how emotional the wait can be. It can give your faith a workout. There are times when you feel upbeat and optimistic, then, there are other times when it feels like you’re just not going to meet the right person. It can be a roller-coaster, one that you can’t wait to get off. So, when you do finally meet someone, and you think things might work out, it can be devastating when it doesn’t. The last thing you want to do is think about drudging through that desert place again.

It is crucial that we remind ourselves constantly that God is faithful. He never slumbers or sleeps, and no detail about our lives escapes Him. We must never forget that God knows the person that is going to be a great blessing to our lives, and this is the person for which we, too, will be the greatest blessing. But God also knows our hearts. He knows our motives and intentions, and He knows whether or not we are spiritually prepared to be the kind of blessing He wants us to be.

Yes, it is devastating when we recognize we have to let someone go, and it can be even more hurtful when they decide to let us go. In either case, you have to see heartbreak as a conduit to a more compassionate, thoughtful, and spiritually mature you. We can never escape the reality of our call to pray and touch the lives of others through intercession. We have to ask God if we have fulfilled this call to His satisfaction.

A Godly sorrow is something that no believer can fake. It is when sorrow goes so deep within you that your soul is moved beyond your understanding. It is the place where we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and it is also the place where we learn to pull strength, abiding love, and caring support for God’s people. It’s this deep place that extends to us the capacity to pray earnestly for the pain that others are going through. Some of us have not learned to do this. We can do it for ourselves, but we haven’t yet cultivated that space where we are touching God’s heart with prayer for someone other than ourselves, someone we may not even know.

We have to think about things like this, so that we learn the lesson of our heartbreak. And make no mistake, there is very definitely a lesson and we should do all we can to learn it. Why is learning this lesson so monumentally important to your preparation towards meeting and marrying the right person for you? Well, it’s so important because Heavenly Father wants you to know a little something about the depth of the heart. None of us can fully know what is in another person’s heart or what their motives are for doing what they do, but you can have some idea about it. When you have some idea about the heart, and how earnest prayer can transform it, you can be trusted with information that only the Spirit can provide.

We must be clear, if we do not begin to love and pray out of that deep well where our hearts were once broken; if we do not let the love of God minister to that broken place; if we do not then begin to minister out of that deep place ourselves, we won’t recognize a man that is living from that deep place as well. He will walk right on by us, and we will walk by him, and no connection can be made. This is the man we have prayed to partner with, and this is the kind of faithful man the Lord wants to present to us. This man has the capacity to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves the church and gave his life for her. God will not go beneath His standard. He calls upon us to rise up to it, so we can meet Him in the place of His blessing.

God is impressed by what we do to grow spiritually. He’s impressed by how we deal with the heartbreak and the strength and wisdom we glean from it. We cannot overlook the things that mean so much to God. He knows how to bless us. He said in Isaiah 45:3(NLT), “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” Our Heavenly Father knows where the treasures are. Treasures are His business, but we cannot get them by trying to impress other people. When we impress God with a heart that is sold-out for Him, when we make this our number one goal, He will release the treasure. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When Impressing God Is Your Number One Goal”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 29, 2021
God’s Love Is the Glue for Marriage

There are many single believers in Christ that have been searching a long time for something that will help them in their quest for marriage. It’s a worthwhile endeavor, because Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:7(NLT), “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Our Heavenly Father has made it very clear to us that we must seek Him first, and we must seek Him diligently. And this diligence requires our persistence, but many Christian singles believe they’ve been very persistent in their prayers about marriage, and they are wondering when it is going to yield results.

When we’ve prayed for something a very long time and there isn’t the movement in our circumstances that we expect, people will sometimes tell us that our faith is the issue. They say we don’t have enough of it. Well, the Lord Jesus Christ tells us that all it takes is a mustard seed’s worth to move a mountain, so we can know definitively that he doesn’t have a problem with doling out all the faith we need. He has it in unlimited supply; therefore, most of us have enough faith to accomplish whatever it is that God desires us to do. So, when it comes to the faith we already have, God’s Word tells us that what’s very important to God is how this faith gets expressed.

To express something is to somehow take that which has unexposed potential and expose it. We live in an environment today where people are expressing a whole lot of emotions and sides of themselves, but some of this is better left unexposed. These expressions may have potential, but not the kind that benefits God’s purpose. As believers, we ought to be chiefly interested in the things in which God’s Kingdom gets the glory, and He tells us in Galatians 5:6 that what’s major in His book is that our faith gets expressed through His love.

Sometimes our definition of love and God’s love are out of sync. Our born-again reality means that we can love others and ourselves through Christ, but it is very possible that God wants to see us walking in His love more fully. Some of our relationships of the past ended in heartache. As uncomfortable as it can be, we need to examine how we could have handled things differently. Relationships don’t make it for lots of reasons. Sometimes it is because the person was not meant to journey with us any further, and sometimes it is because there was some aspect of God’s love that we hadn’t yet figured out how to demonstrate. If this is the case, if there are aspects of God’s love that are necessary for marriage and we haven’t yet put these yummies in our hearts, then this must be corrected through repentance and by renewing our minds.

1Corinthians 13:1-7(NLT) gives us God’s expectation for how love should operate. This passage tells us: 1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You and I may have love for someone, but if this love isn’t wrapped in God’s standard, and if we have not renewed our minds to it, 1Corinthians 13:3 tells us that we will not gain anything. 1John 4:8 affirms that God is love. It isn’t just what He does, it’s who He is. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, love must be who we are. God demonstrates for us that love is more than an emotion, it’s a commitment. It is action in the highest sense of the word. You and I are not in a position to dictate how love is defined or how it should look; God has already done this. Love is His standard, and because it is the glue that holds relationships together, God holds us responsible for demonstrating that we are committed to love someone with the love of Christ.

If we have the notion in our heads that love is based on feelings, we will be in and out of love all the time. We will leave a marriage based on whether or not we feel loved by the other person. We will hold them responsible for making us happy and not take responsibility for failing to put on the joy of the Lord in our own hearts. So, as single believers, we will have to move past allowing feelings to lead our hearts, instead we must let the Lord do this. Because in this most important aspect of our lives as it pertains to marriage, we must lean on God and not on our own understanding. Now is the time to make this a habit pattern so that we are anchored in the love of God, because His love must be the foundation upon which our future marriage will rest. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Love Is the Glue for Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 20, 2021
He Showed Up and Showed Out!

Some of us are facing challenges that we’ve never faced before. These are unprecedented times, and we want God to perform the miraculous in a way that we’ve never witnessed. If you’re like me, in the past, you might have heard your mother and grandmother talk about how God showed up and showed out on their behalves. In our younger days, we might not have understood what they meant. Back then, we didn’t quite grasp the impact that God’s grace and power made in their lives, but our current circumstances have made the impact of His grace and power crystal clear to us. Life hasn’t been easy, and with everything the enemy has thrown at us, there’s no way we would have made it this far without God. He’s kept us, walked with us through the storm and brought us out of it. Now is not a time for fear and trembling. It’s a time to show God that we know who He is and what He can do. Now more than ever, we must trust Heavenly Father with our whole hearts.

The Christian walk is filled with many obstacles and challenges, and our Lord and Savior never hid this from us. He told the disciples in John 15:19(NLT), “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” There is nothing more rewarding and exquisite than living for God through the Lord Jesus Christ, but make no mistake, there is a cost. Trials and tribulations come with the choice to serve our Lord and Savior. With those challenges will also come great victory and triumph as we travail over life’s difficulties through faith in God.

There’s something we learn about God as we go through the storms of life, and we would not learn these spiritual lessons otherwise. In Colossians 1:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul communicates his prayer for the faithful in Christ in the city of Colosse. This prayer is necessary for all of us to continue growing in the example of Christ. He said, “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need.” This is such an important prayer because we desperately need endurance and patience. They build trust in our relationship with Heavenly Father, and they are necessary to accomplish the goals He has for us.

Being single year after year, going through the pain of a divorce, or dealing with other of life’s hiccups and missteps all require a certain strength and courage. The point that must be impressed on your heart is that with each trial or tribulation you go through, God is with you. He told His people in Deuteronomy 31:6(NLT), “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” In Joshua 1:9(NLT), He said to His people, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” God’s people living in Old Testament times were servants, but those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are God’s children. So, beyond a shadow of doubt, we are covered under God’s protection and care. He will never leave or forsake us.

God has a very loving way of teaching us the spiritual lessons of love. He doesn’t force us to learn them, but He walks with us at our own pace. The process of preparation when it comes to marriage is no different. There are some lessons we need to learn, and our patience is not long when it comes to this. We want to be married yesterday, but if we move too quickly, and get ahead of the Holy Spirit, we will end up being disappointed and perhaps devastated by the outcome. No matter the problem or issue, God will always show up and show out in our circumstances. He walks with us, and His ultimate goal is always to see us blessed and thriving in Christ. We are living in turbulent times, but God has not changed nor will He. He is faithful to bless us, so let’s have confidence in Him and trust that He will restore, heal, deliver, and promote us if we remain patient and endure. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“He Showed Up and Showed Out!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 14, 2021
The Right King for You

God’s Word tells us in 1Corinthians 14:33 that He is a God of order. The definition of this word ‘order’ points us in the direction of other words we know so well, like organization, arrangement, and structure. Because of God’s Word, we can now see clearly that everything He does is systematic and efficient. He arranges things in such a way that He never has to do a do-over, a back-track, or a take-back. This information is so crucial because it helps to provide the framework for how we approach God in prayer, particularly if we’re praying to cross paths with Mr. Right. If you’ve been praying about your desire to be married for quite some time, the framework for understanding the orderly way that God does things may help you considerably.

1Samuel 16 gives us just the perspective we need. It tells us the communication between God and His prophet, Samuel. It took place during the reign of King Saul, who was the first king of the children of Israel. Saul had all the trappings. He was handsome as all get-out, virile and strong, and the people loved him because in their minds, he fit the bill for how a king should look and act. But Saul only looked the part. He wasn’t a good fit. Time and time again, God gave him opportunities to straighten up his act and be obedient, but his arrogance got in the way. Saul’s heart was far from God, and he was determined to do things his own way.

God told his prophet, Samuel, that Saul had to go, and Samuel was very disappointed about this. He loved Saul and was upset that God had chosen someone else to be king. If we’re being honest, many of us have been in Samuel’s shoes. We took it upon ourselves to find ourselves a king, and although he looked the part, he was not ready for the responsibility and privilege of caring for our hearts because he didn’t honor God. He was not the one. And rather than repenting for not consulting and listening to Heavenly Father in our decision making, some of us prayed to God to make this misplaced-king act right, or we asked God to change his heart.

Heavenly Father will never overstep someone’s free-will. This is something we must know so that we do not pray for things that are outside of God’s Will and Word. We can pray until the cows come home, but God will not change someone’s heart towards us. This is made abundantly clear in the record of King Saul. God loved Saul more than anyone, including Samuel, but Heavenly Father would not change Saul’s heart. God would not make him act right, because again, doing something like this would violate His laws, and God will never overstep His Word. Instead, Heavenly Father chose someone to be king that had a heart that was tender towards Him. It was David, a ruddy-faced boy who loved shepherding and being out in nature. Samuel, the prophet, thought God was going to choose one of David’s brothers, because again Samuel was impressed with appearance and height. The Father told him in 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

As single women, we have to ask ourselves if we’re searching for someone that looks the part, or do we want the king that God has chosen for us? Left to our own devices, many of us have chosen someone who looks the part but has a heart that is far from God. This often leads to disaster. Some of us do this because we don’t believe God will present us with someone that is all we need them to be. In reality, the scriptures are full of accounts where God does the exceedingly abundantly and exceeds expectations. He has many men that are talented, courageous, intelligent, attractive, and the favor of God is upon them. There is no shortage of good men, but there is in fact a shortage of women that are willing to be patient and obedient as God teaches them to align with His purpose and order.

Humility and honor before God means that we must get rid of our resistance to change. God desires us to be happy and to have a life that is fulfilling and meaningful, but the more than abundant life can only be lived through Jesus Christ. He is the way to it. So, we must change the way we’ve done things in the past. We must be guided by the Spirit of Christ on the journey to acquiring what we want most in life, because this is God’s order. Psalm 37:23(NLT) says, “The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Let the Lord delight in the details of your life by submitting your quest for marriage to Him and trusting that He will present the right king for you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Right King for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 6, 2021
Welcome to Your Virtual Internal Tour

If you’ve ever planned a vacation or looked for a house in another state, you’re probably familiar with the term ‘virtual tour’. It’s images or video that provide a 360° panoramic view of a property or location. You can even zoom-in for a closer look at many of the details. Some of these virtual tours are so realistic that it’s almost like being there in person, but not quite. As you zoom in and zoom out, you get a visual that helps you plan for reality. We do this because a virtual tour provides information that is very helpful to our decision-making process. If the tour is an honest presentation of reality, it can be a great tool to help make a worthwhile investment, but there are no guarantees. Just like people, there are always things going on internally that no amount of surface viewing is going to pick up.

Pain is a terrific motivator. It should motivate us to want to avoid as much of it as possible. Not only can it begin a cycle that lasts a very long time, needless pain robs us of the resources of time and energy. We need to focus our resources on the blessing with our name on it rather than depleting our reservoirs on someone that was never meant for us. Heavenly Father wants us to be wise. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing; it’s number one when it comes to all that we need to live a successful existence. God also tells us to develop good judgment and insight, so that we won’t waste any of the life He’s blessed us with.

It can’t be lost on any of us that virtual is here to stay. We need look no further to the popularity of dating websites to see this. Supplying prospective daters with information about a person in a neat digital package, dating websites are notorious for profiles that list all the good and leave out all the bad. Unlike a house or a trip, we must be wise and not make an emotional investment solely based on a virtual tour. Jesus Christ has commanded us to seek God first in all things, especially when it comes to relationships.

God’s Word doesn’t tell us that knowing someone a really long time is a prerequisite for marriage, but it does give us the wisdom to make good dating choices that will honor our relationship with God and benefit our lives. Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Hebrews 12:1 that we should lay aside sin and all the heavy stuff that comes with it. This means that we should not be impatient when it comes to making decisions. We should wait on God for the green-light. This verse also affirms that every believer has a race that God, Himself, has placed before them. We are to run this race with endurance. We don’t have time for costly mistakes that set us back. If we trust God, we will avoid those.

We can’t judge a book by its cover, and when we’re obedient to God’s Word, we’ll never be in this position. Wisdom dictates that even before we begin a virtual tour of someone else’s profile, we’ll make sure ours is straight. We’ll make sure we’re a true representation of Christ. Some of us have some baggage that we’ve been carrying around a long time, and it is important to pray to God in the name of Jesus Christ, and ask Him to reveal the thing in our hearts that is holding us back. When you and I are unwilling to see certain things about ourselves that are harmful to our relationship with God, we overlook or don’t recognize it in others either. We attract the very person who reflects the worse in ourselves. We should want to get this internal housekeeping cleaned up before we start looking at someone else’s house.

When it comes to partnering, a lot of us have taken matters into our own hands. We’ve made a choice, and then asked God to bless the choice we have made. This isn’t how faith works. Faith dictates that God walks us through the process from beginning to end. And in this, we learn to lean on Him and not on our own understanding. We learn to hear His directives more clearly, and we develop faith in His love and guidance. You don’t want to rob yourself of this. It’s the most important aspect of life. Virtual tours may be the wave of the future, but nothing will ever replace God’s Word, and His way always works best.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Welcome to Your Virtual Internal Tour”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 29, 2021
Come into God’s Light

There are a ton of single women that desire marriage and believe in the accomplished work of Jesus Christ, but they don’t or won’t apply spiritual principles to their marital quest. They don’t believe God has specifically ordained someone to walk with them through the journey of life. They’re not particularly interested in finding out about their purpose, and they haven’t consulted God about what they’re doing to harm or impede their quest. Their approach is one of taking the reins into their own hands. For instance, this woman may come across someone that ignites a certain spark within her. She also piques his interest, and she takes this as her queue to jump in with both feet. In this scenario, SHE made the choice, and then asked God to bless it. What happens next is a toss-up between utter devastation and second best. Both are beneath the privilege of a child of God.

In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” There are two exponentially important components to the truth our Master speaks in this verse. The first thing he does is let us know that there is a relentless dastardly thief in the earth, and he is the devil. The mission of the devil is to steal, kill, and destroy. We need only look at what is happening in the world today to see his evil intent and realize that he will stop at nothing to reap death and darkness in the earth.

Unity is something satan fears, and he wants to squash it wherever he can. One of the reasons for this is because Jesus Christ has declared in Matthew 18:20 that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them. There is power where two are connected in their desire and commitment to honor God through Christ, and the devil does not want this power to manifest. It is one of the chief reasons he attacks marriages—to cancel out any chance of unity among spouses and families.

The enemy knows our weaknesses and how deep our desire for marriage is. Jesus Christ did not keep us in the dark about the devil’s tricks. Our blessed Savior didn’t tell us about the plots of the enemy so we would cower in fear somewhere in a corner. He told us so that we would mount up with faith and arm our quest and future relationship in his authority. We must guard our hearts with God’s love. If we don’t, we won’t recognize the difference between a trick and a blessing.

We must remember that guarding our hearts involves being careful NOT to make emotional connections with someone who hates the light. John 3:20-21(NLT)“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” When people are intent on staying hidden in an evil nature, they don’t want this exposed. We may not perceive them as harmful, but one day down the road, they will show us what lies beneath the surface and it will be horrible. God wants to protect us from this, and He does it by guiding our desire and quest for marriage. As we seek His counsel on every decision and choice, He will keep our feet from falling into satan’s plot. He’ll prevent us from being tricked into entertaining a demon spirit rather than an angel spirit.

Just because a man is nice doesn’t mean that he’s of God. Even believers that have been on this journey in Christ for a while can be deceived. Discernment comes from God. He communicates information to the Holy Spirit within us, and the Holy Spirit communicates this information to our human-spirit. This is the communication system God has created. Our arrogance, impatience, pride, and refusal to pay attention to the Holy Spirit will block this information. This is how we lose the ability to discern.

1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We are children of God’s light. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will attract light to you and dispel the darkness around you. Through his example and the multitudes that followed him, Jesus Christ showed us that the light also brings out the haters—those who do evil and hate the light, because they allow themselves to be used by the devil. You may ask, “How do I know if they hate the light?” Jesus Christ told us Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the person’s fruit.

We won’t recognize light in another person if we’re not walking in it ourselves. Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. There’s a difference between the two, and knowledge of the distinction impacts where we’ll spend eternity. Recognize that the consequences of being invested in a child of darkness are very painful and can potentially influence the rest of your life. God doesn’t want you to be hurt this way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth to make a more than abundant life available to you, and you can have it if you walk by the Spirit.

Reach out and grab what’s yours by letting your decisions and choices regarding who and how to develop a relationship be guided by God. He already knows the person that will fit into the destiny and plan He has for your life. Bring your desire into the light of His wisdom and let your faith in Him rest in the reality that He will not fail. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Come into God’s Light” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 4, 2021
A Big Dose of Truth

1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) declares, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” All that we are and all that we could ever hope to be is because of our Creator. We owe God our lives, and every breath that we breathe is only possible because of His amazing grace. He made the air and everything else that is necessary for our living. Most of us are aware of our Heavenly Father’s unyielding generosity, yet many of us still do not have an acceptable level of gratitude that goes hand in hand with this awareness. It is very possible, and often reality, that we receive gifts, and we are not deeply thankful for them. The practice of being deeply grateful for gifts is an important awareness. It’s especially important for those praying to meet their future marital partners because it reveals what Heavenly Father requires. Many of us are praying for a Godly partner that will love and honor us, however, we haven’t given much thought to how we will continually demonstrate our gratitude to God for such a gift.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called by God to live consistent with who He’s made us in Christ. Heavenly Father has designed life in such a way that the closer we are to the example of Christ, the more rewards we will receive. Life does not open doors for you and me unless we have the key. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:19 that actively pursuing and walking in his example is the key. It allows us to loose things and bind them up both in heaven and in the earth. In other words, Jesus has provided everything we need to open doors that lead to treasures, but every time we do something against the Will of God—every time we engage behaviors and attitudes outside his example, we move ourselves further away from the door.

Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father isn’t trying to make us feel bad, nor does He want us continually being down on ourselves. He wants the absolute best for us. He doesn’t want us to fall into the trap of sin and then not understand how we landed there. Through His Spirit, the scriptures, and through those that have been speaking and teaching His Word, Heavenly Father has warned us about sin and its consequences. Yet, many of us have chosen to ignore His warning and we’ve stepped outside His Will. He doesn’t punish us for doing this, but there is a consequence, nonetheless. Every action has a consequence, and sometimes it comes with a pretty big price.

Again, we owe God everything, and the question we must ask is how we’re going to demonstrate that we understand this truth. We can actually say words that communicate we’re thankful to Him, but words mean very little without the action to back them up. There must be some evidence of our gratitude. God is looking for something in the way we live that proves our commitment to His Word. He tells us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to Him, because this is the least we can do for all He’s done for us. To get a visual of what He’s requiring in Romans 12:1, we first need to recall the relationships we’ve had in the past, and how we responded to the pressure to do things we knew were not Godly. We must remember the attitudes and emotions we displayed, and then be courageous enough to measure how far they were from the example of Christ.

We can never repay God for all He’s done, and He isn’t asking us to. What He wants is for us to present ourselves to Him so that He can help us to transform. He wants to have His way with those attitudes and behaviors that are working against us. In order to show our gratitude to God, we must have faith that He is indeed a Rewarder. We must trust that if we offer our whole beings, He will accept them and do a work within us through Jesus Christ.

The treasure of marriage isn’t being withheld from anyone. The consequences of sinful actions move us away from the Father’s Will, and they also move us away from what we desire most. This is a big dose of truth and many single folks are not ready to accept it, but this is the wrong attitude. There is tremendous hope and reward linked with God’s correction when we accept it. Heavenly Father is a God of love. 1John 4:19(NLT), tells us, “We love each other because he loved us first.” God wrote the book on love, not us. He is the One that has set the patterns for how love behaves.

There must be a willingness on our part to stop doing the things that displease Him. Instead, we must come to God in total humility and ask Him to order our steps according to His Will. His love lifts us up, and we must trust this with our whole hearts, because trusting in His love moves us closer to the example of Christ.

Heavenly Father delights in rewarding His children, but we must continually give Him something to reward. Our commitment to walk in the love of Christ must be demonstrated now, through our willingness to put our love for God above the temptation of sin. It’s not about the kind of perfume or the clothes we wear. It’s the love of Christ that wins people’s hearts. This is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God, by our obedience to the example of Christ. When we prove that we are able to love a spouse from a place of spiritual maturity and obedience to God, the right door will appear. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Big Dose of Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 13, 2021