Is He Husband Material?

When we’re dating someone new, we hear this question all the time, “Is he marriage material?” Although this might not be the most considerate question to ask, if you’ve been praying to God to be a wife, analyzing whether a man is even comfortable with the idea of marriage is not a bad idea. As a woman of God that is potentially making decisions and choices that will change your life forever, you need to always give yourself the courtesy of taking a step back. You need to ask, “What is this we’re doing? Are we dating with a goal or dating to be dating?”

Sometimes we’re so excited by the prospect of spending time with someone compatible, that we lose sight of what’s important. We forget the missteps we’ve made in the past and the heartbreak they caused. We forget all the times we prayed and promised to wait on God’s green light before we made any assumptions about what we’re working with. And we forget how willing we were in the past to go full on into relationship mode just because he texts, calls, and takes us out for dinner.

The Bible doesn’t specifically mention dating, but that doesn’t mean that God has nothing to say about it. Psalm 147:5(ESV) says, “Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.”  Revelation 22:13(NLT) tells us that He’s “the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” There isn’t anything that our God doesn’t know. He knows the end at the beginning and the beginning at the end. So, He knew dating would be a thing in our modern times. His expectation is that we will handle it like we do any other activity, which is with Godliness, honesty, respect, and self-control.

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) declares, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God has given us spiritual blessings so that we will be strong and stand in faith. We are to uphold His standard, so we can’t put the wealth of all He’s provided on the backburner just because we’ve met someone new. It’s important for us to have our eyes open with God’s wisdom so that we don’t treat dating someone the same as we would marrying the person that God has ordained to walk with us through life.

The old school definition of ‘husband material’ is a man that has all the characteristics of being responsible, dependable, honorable, and loyal, and you like him well enough to see yourself marrying him. That’s a pretty good definition, but we ought to taper it with the truth that just because we think he’s marriage material, it doesn’t mean that he is. Sometimes, the man does very little to suggest that he’s ready for something real, and we convince ourselves otherwise simply because we want a man. That can lead us down a disappointing path. We need to let our opinions and assumptions take a back seat, and we need to give ourselves time to hear from God about what we’re working with.

The bottom line is that we need to establish boundaries around dating, and those boundaries should help us to preserve our stand so that we don’t make the mistake of partnering with the wrong guy. We don’t have to kiss dating good-bye, but we must be careful that it isn’t detrimental to our spiritual walks in Christ. If marrying the man that God has for you is truly your heart’s desire, don’t forfeit it or allow the wrong person to set you back. Stay on the path to marriage by being committed to God’s standard, and don’t be deterred. If your faith is in the right place, the Father will confirm what marriage material is for you, then you can be sure that he’s the one for you, and you’re the one for him as well.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Is He Marriage Material?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.