Find A Christian Man

Category: Preparation for Marriage

Marriage preparation begins long before the wedding day. Explore biblical teaching on becoming spiritually prepared for covenant through your relationship with God, prayer, healing, maturity, character, wisdom, and a growing understanding of what God designed marriage to be.

A Strong and Stable Union

Call me old fashion, but I still believe that adhering to the virtuous standards God has set in His Word are the absolute best chance any of us have for a successful relationship. Staples like good communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to be vulnerable are necessary, but there’s one particular standard that is an absolute must, and it is being accountable for one’s own actions.

Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. In like manner, a person is known by the deeds they produce. He tells us in Luke 6:45(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” The heart has storage capacity; it is the keeper of things that make us distinctive and unique. It is also the place from which you and I produce fruit. If we’ve stored up good things in our hearts, then we’ll produce good things; and if we’ve stored up evil things in our hearts, we’ll produce evil things.

It would be wonderful to say that we’re continually producing good things in our relationships, but we all know this isn’t true. Relationships with spouses and potential partners will bring out some bad fruit that we didn’t even know we had. And the thing that makes it worse is to deny culpability.

The world is unstable and it is filled with unstable people. God has equipped and called us to be different than the world. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NLT), “Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful.” Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we are expert builders, uniquely qualified by God to build on the foundation that Jesus laid. This is exactly what a marital union is. It’s an addition to our lives that expands the foundation of Christ. It is therefore our responsibility as God’s children to keep our unions strong and stable. This is more important to Heavenly Father than it is to us.

Humility and faith create spiritual stability. They are the staples that give a relationship legs. In situations of contention, even if we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong, if it is injurious to our partners, we must be humble enough to share blame. We may have believed the fruit to be good, but when it fell from the tree, it was not fresh. In other words, the deed may not have been intended to wound, hurt, offend, or injure; but if that was the end result, something about the way we put it out there wasn’t on point. Humility requires that we acknowledge this, and faith requires us to trust that in the end, even if the other person was at fault, God will make everything right.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Strong and Stable Union”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

February 11, 2018
What NOT to Do When the Relationship is New

When I was a teenager, like most kids my age, I wanted everything quick, fast, and on the double. Not only did I want my desires delivered with all due haste, this was the approach to just about everything else I did as well. I rushed through my homework, and I couldn’t wait until the hard classes were over…and my chores, forget about it! Lickety split was putting it lightly; I bulldozed through those. My grandmother would constantly tell me, “It takes time to do anything the right way!” She called my quick, half-hearted approach ‘half-doing something’, and she couldn’t stand it. I can’t count the number of times she scolded me about rushing through things and missing those important details that make all the difference. I paid no attention to those words back then, but today they are my continual motivation and the theme song of my life.

My grandmother’s wisdom is spot on with the wisdom of God’s Word. At the end of the day, everything is going to come back to us with the same energy and effort we used to put it out there. In Luke 6:38, Jesus Christ solidifies the reality that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive. He tells us that giving equals receiving, and that the amount we give will determine the amount we get back. This is mathematics at its best. God has woven this kind of order into His extraordinary laws; it’s how the universe was created by Him to function.

This is one of the reasons it is so important to comprehend that we are indeed spiritual beings, because everything that we do has a spiritual consequence. It only takes a few major disappointments to hit this one home. We can mess things up royally and miss great opportunities for love, success, and well-being because we’ve made a habit pattern of rushing things. We’ve all heard the saying that good things come to those who wait. This is more than just a saying. Again, with this reference, there’s some biblical wisdom involved.

Don’t Neglect God’s Peace
The prophet says of God in Isaiah 26:3(NLT), “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” It is no secret that the believer who trusts in God’s perfect timing will be guided by His peace. When it comes to a new relationship, the guidance of God’s peace is the only way to ensure solid footing not just for potential longevity, but for your continued spiritual well-being, regardless of how things work out.

In a new relationship, we can’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions; both can cause major disappointments in the long run. They are sure signs that we’re allowing anxiety to call the shots, and this allows the enemy room to mess things up. Again, the absolute best approach is to let the peace of God guide all your actions.

Don’t Be Impatient
Romans 5:3 tells us that tribulations give us a work-out in patience and endurance. We dislike the discomfort, heartache, and pain that come from troubling situations; as well we should. They are not sent by our Heavenly Father, but they are a part of life, and we can learn from them. Tribulations, particularly those involving past relationships, hopefully teach us to be patient and to look next time before we leap; at least that’s the lesson we should have learned.

Sisters that have been praying a while to cross paths with the right person may not be aware of their own feelings of deprivation. They may have unreasonable expectations, and these can smother a relationship in the beginning. Loving ourselves means that we will give our souls the time they need to hear from the Spirit. One of the greatest mistakes we make is to underestimate the willingness of God to help us stay on track and pace ourselves, so that we move in alignment with His divine timing. We can tell the difference between a blessing and a trick by having the patience to wait and make sure we see God at work.

Don’t Out-pace the Relationship
Again, when we start expecting too much too soon, we can out-pace a new relationship. It’s good to be a careful observer of yourself and make sure you don’t expect a commitment before the man is ready to make it. Being patient means that you’re willing to gauge yourself, and that you are watchful of the new person’s queues. Good practice is to mirror his actions in a way that is both caring and cautious.

He calls or texts; then you reciprocate, but don’t do too much. And never feel pressured to compromise Godliness to keep a man. God would not present you with a situation where you had to do this. Be prayerful continually, and listen closely for the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Peace, Patience, and Pace; honoring these will continually keep you aligned with Christ, so that you will know if the new man is a presentation from God. If he is, the Holy Spirit will continue to guide you, so that your new relationship grows. If he isn’t, you’ll have gained invaluable spiritual discernment and insight that has prepared you for the blessing that is surely on its way. ■

“What NOT to Do When the Relationship is New”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

February 5, 2018
When God Reroutes You

The other day, I woke up early to go pick up a new table that I’d been wanting for a while. Since it was Saturday, I figured if I got up early enough I could beat the weekend traffic to the stores. Got on the road and was making good time until I saw flashing lights on the highway. The police were informing travelers that the exit I needed to take had been closed. I would need to use an alternate route, and planned on getting off the next exit to re-route myself. What I didn’t’ realize was that traffic would come to a complete halt before I could even reach this exit. It frustrated me to no end that I was being blocked from what I wanted to do, and that what would have taken me 20 minutes, took me two-hours instead.

Unexpected delays in life can be very frustrating, but sometimes those delays are purposeful and for our good in the long run. There are times when we become so used to doing things on our own that we don’t think to slow down and ask God if we’re doing it His way. It’s not because we don’t care, but things slip by us when we’re not paying attention.

In Matthew 11:30 (KJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” These are beautiful words from the Master’s lips, and we can become so taken by the compassion he has expressed that we neglect the practicality of the lesson he’s taught. Love’s path is smooth. It is not bumpy as many would have us to believe. It seems bumpy and uneasy because bumpy and uneasy is often the approach most of us employ in our own lives.

There are lots of individuals who don’t know what it is to struggle, but there are lots more who do. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, hustling back and forth constantly, and trying to squeeze as much out of meager resources as possible is common place for many of us. We become so used to the grind that we begin to think that God moves like we move. Heavenly Father tells us in Isaiah 55:8 (NLT), “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

Heavenly Father is the God of love, light, liberty, and life. He moves effortlessly, with great ease. We need to fall in alignment with how He moves, not the other way around. Sometimes, we want things that look like the best, but actually isn’t GOD’s best. We also can become too impetuous and make a move without prioritizing the things of God in the right order. When our condition is one of moving outside of His divine will and timing, He will correct us. Proverbs 3:11-12(NLT) tells us, “11 My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.”

God doesn’t require a lot, only that we keep Him first and love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, and all of our souls! It’s His good pleasure to take care of us, and we need to trust this. He wants us to have a good life and have the best of everything, but like any loving parent, He corrects those He loves. Sometimes this correction reroutes us. This is done to bring attention to the reality that we’re veering away from the path we’re supposed to be on. We will never know the extent to which He keeps us from harming ourselves through blockers and wake-up calls, and we should thank Him continually for loving us enough to correct and redirect us.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When God Reroutes You”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 28, 2018
Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit

When a relationship is at a point where it’s held together by a thread, often the woman on the other end of it is holding on for dear life. The man, on the other hand, is dangling it before her. It’s a string without a meaningful commitment attached to it. At one time, he might have been all in. He thought he knew what he wanted, and at one point he probably thought it was her. She thought so too. In his heart, he knows he’s not ready to commit, but he doesn’t want this woman, whose given him so much of herself, to be with anyone else. So he’s blocking her growth, her potential, her future, and her true blessing, by keeping her dangling at the end of a string; and she’s a willing accomplice.

Trying to tell a sister that is in a relationship like this to let go of it is almost pointless. The typical response will be something along the lines of “Your heart will do what it wants to do…no matter how much you try to tell it which direction to go in, it will only let go when it’s ready.” Whenever we allow the soul to govern our decisions this way, we diminish our privilege, desire, and opportunity to be led and guided by the Spirit.

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that we can be deceived by our own hearts, because our hearts can and do at times lead us astray. Our human hearts can cause us to veer off the path that God wants us to be on. This is why He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God knows our futures. He knows the person that is best for the path that He has purposed and laid before us.

The reality is that many of us will hold on to less than the best, because we are fearful that we will not receive better. 1 John 4:18 (NLT) tells us, “18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” A broken heart feels very much like punishment because it hurts so badly, but we should not let the fear of this pain keep us from practicing the discipline of faith and trust in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Our healing, blessing, and promotion will travel through the pipeline of our faith.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us, “7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-control. These are those that will elevate us out of the level we’re on and transport us to the next place of growth and blessings. Power, love, and self-control must be activated. They require us to move with, in, and through them according to our faith in God’s promise that they belong to us, and we can utilize them to go higher. When it comes to what is no longer working for us, we’re going to have to give up the less useful to make room for the more useful. Moving with faith through any discomfort we might experience in this process is the empowerment of self-control and self-love; this is what paves the way for newness.

Fear and doubt are not a part of the Kingdom of God. These belong to the devil’s domain. It’s a trick of the enemy to dangle a low hanging fruit before us, because we don’t have reach and stretch to grab it. The Will of God will always require our flexibility, and faith will demand our allegiance to God’s truth. As Daughters of Zion, we must aim high so that the reach and strength of our grasp will match the wealth of the prize we seek to obtain. We must not be sidetracked from the greatness of what God has in store. Spiritual maturity calls on us to discipline ourselves to let go and press on. And when it comes to a man who is not ready to honor our worth and not willing to commit to it, this is exactly what we may have to do.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 21, 2018
The Pay-Off of Sacrifice

One of the things that we learn very early in Christian life is that we can’t just do anything we like. There are disciplines to the faith, and there are sacrifices that we need to make in the present that are required for our long-term benefit. In other words, we most definitely have to deny ourselves some things that may bring us temporary pleasure. Perhaps we indulged them before we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and maybe we’re still dabbling a bit here and there, but the temporary pleasure that these things bring will not compare to the long-term benefit we will receive if we push them away. The pay-off of the sacrifice will prove to be a blessing that will carry us from one level to the next.

Ephesians 4:20-24(ESV) tells us, “20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage makes it clear that we must put off some things, and do without them, so that we can put on and gain something better. As we pursue the promise of marriage with a Godly man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church, we must understand that capacity must be built within us. We have to expand spiritually, and Ephesians 4:20-24 is how expansion is initiated, by putting off the less useful to make room for the more useful.

To expand spiritually, something worldly must die. This makes perfect sense. It’s one of the reasons that the sacrifice of Christ is so meaningful. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV) tells us, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus Christ, who never sinned, actually became sin, so that we could be redeemed. So we understand that in order for us to gain a relationship with God, a death had to occur; and not just any death, but that of His only begotten Son. A sacrifice of pure blood had to be paid, so that we could have the righteousness of Christ and thereby have a relationship with Heavenly Father. Something tremendously precious was made a curse, and then sacrificed, so that we could grow, expand, and increase continually in Christ. This pattern of putting off and putting on was initiated by the Master.

This is so monumentally important to understand because a lot of Christians are struggling with a kid-in-a-candy-store mentality. They forget the words of Jesus Christ in Luke 12:48 when he declared that for the person who receives much, much will be required. Let’s be very clear, when it comes to the promises of God, He doesn’t promise anything and everything. This is one of the reasons God tells us to stay in His Word, so that we will know the conditions on which His promises rest.

God loves us so much, and He wants us to be fulfilled and have our desires met more than we do, but His promises rest on the foundation of our faith in Him. If we lack the faith to deny ourselves temporary pleasures for our long-term spiritual gain, then we certainly don’t have the faith to sustain a lifelong relationship. This is not meant to place anyone in self-condemnation, because self-condemnation paralyzes us, and God doesn’t want this. The right knowledge is power. God wants us to go from having no knowledge to having right knowledge, so that we are no longer ignorant in the things that pertain to His Kingdom. When we know better, we have the capacity to do better.

Psalm 37:4-5(ESV) says, “4Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Our delight must be in the Lord, not in the temporary pleasures that cause us to displease Him. If our believing is not strong enough to press into God this way, He’s not going to make the presentation of a spouse until we have strengthened ourselves in His Word, so that our faith is full steam ahead. This is why our prayers as singles should be to grow in faith so that we are spiritually prepared for marriage. We should be asking God to reveal the areas where our believing is weak, and help us to be strong in those areas. If we will do this, when we finally do marry, we will be able to stand back to back with our spouses and guard the union of our marriages against the weapons of the enemy. ■

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Pay-Off of Sacrifice”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 15, 2018
Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships

Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

We can never underestimate the power of the words we speak. Proverb 13:3 is one example of how God wakes us up to the damage that can be done by what we say. It’s why I make sure to start my day by asking the Holy Spirit to help me control my tongue. This is so important to me because of past mistakes I’ve made. Those memories when I’ve hurt others unintentionally with the words I’ve spoken still stings. Especially during times of anger, I said things that hurt those I care about most. I was upset, and cutting words came out of my mouth before I could catch them. I wish I could take them back, but that’s the trap of unkind words; you can never take them back. Once they’re out of your mouth, there’s a record of them in heaven above and hell below.

I believe one of the main reasons people get stuck in life is because they haven’t learned or been taught how to use their words, or how to economize them when necessary. In our schools, teachers begin instructing students at a very early age to use their words carefully, and to be kind to one another with their language. This is a good practice of thoughtfulness, but it also conveys the intelligence of building discipline and self-control around what comes out of our mouths.

Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT) tells us, “29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

After we receive Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside us. His presence and power within is proof positive that we are God’s children, and we have been given a recreated human spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside our recreated human spirit, and He guides, directs, comforts, teaches, and befriends us. Verse 30 admonishes us not to bring sorrow or grief to the indwelling Holy Spirit by the way we live, but instead, we are to get rid of as much negativity in our lives as we have knowledge about. We are to replace acts and words of anger, resentment, and harshness with those of gentleness, forgiveness, and kindness. Many Christians have not disciplined themselves to do this, and one of the major reasons that they haven’t is because they don’t realize how costly it is to their spiritual lives.

Jesus Christ has told us that to whom much is given much is required. As Children of God, we are held to a much higher standard. God expects us to behave like Him. We are to have a love nature.

Our obedience to God will always be rewarded, but our rebellion against what He has told us will not. Our words and actions have consequences not just in the right now of our conditions, but also in our futures. Many marriages are corroding today because of hurtful words that were spoken years ago, they were never acknowledged as harmful by the person that spoke them. He or she never repented, and those toxic words were never forgiven by the person to whom they were spoken to. So not only is the doer of evil in trouble, but in some cases the recipient as well, because the potential to harbor hurt and resentment is present.

We need to make changes in our conduct so that our mouths do not ruin everything for us. This is good medicine for the wife, girlfriend, and the woman desiring to occupy either of those roles. Our attitudes, words, and choices really do matter. They impact our present reality, and they build the future realities we will have. Let’s learn and practice the discipline of speaking words that help and not hinder, comfort and not discourage, and give life, not death. This is the way to strengthen our relationship with God and others, as we continue to build a life of love and holiness before Him.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships”, written by written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

December 9, 2017
Six Degrees of Separation

There is an idea, you may have heard of it, called six degrees of separation. It’s a theory that we’re all inter-connected, and that within a pool of random strangers, no one would be more than six individuals from someone they either know or knows them. It’s an interesting concept and at times you might see it play out in your own life. You might have had a conversation with someone you’ve just met and it turns out you have a mutual friend or acquaintance. There are all kinds of coincidences like this in life, but there are certain things, like our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, that we can never leave to chance. It is such a critical issue facing many singles right now, because it’s possible they are six degrees away from separating themselves from the relationship with God that He has destined them to have.

If asked, most individuals who believe in Heavenly Father have something that they’ve been specifically praying about. It’s a blessing they would really like to see come to past in their lives. Whether it is a health challenge, mending a relationship, a financial blessing, or meeting their future spouses, just about everyone has a gap, and they are waiting for Heavenly Father to fill it. He never withholds blessings from us. As spiritually mature Christians, He expects us to understand that what separates us from our blessings is an opportunity for connection. God Blesses us through people in many cases. They come from being at the right place at the right time, and connecting with the right person.

God also wants us to understand that His love must be rooted and grounded in our hearts, because a heart filled with God’s love causes the most beautiful blessings to flow our way. Many of us are so incredibly close to receiving what we’ve waited so long for. We’re six connections away from the person that will lead us to what we seek. This season is so consequential because we’re also six connections away from being tricked into turning our backs on the life God has planned for us.

Many of us haven’t recognized how incredibly important it is that we get fully persuaded in faith and cling to Jesus Christ with everything that is in us. We allow ourselves to think and believe that we have more time, but that’s a dangerous posture to take. Luke 13:23-27(NLT) tells us, “23 Someone asked him, “Lord, will only a few be saved?” He replied, 24 “Work hard to enter the narrow door to God’s Kingdom, for many will try to enter but will fail. 25 When the master of the house has locked the door, it will be too late. You will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Lord, open the door for us!’ But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’ 26 Then you will say, ‘But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’ 27 And he will reply, ‘I tell you, I don’t know you or where you come from. Get away from me, all you who do evil.’”

So much is at stake, and we’re so close to breaking through, but it is so easy to think that we’re flowing with God, when actually we’re budding heads against His plan. We’re not anchored in purpose, but more concerned about satisfying ourselves. I can tell you that I would hate to live a life where anything would keep me separated from having a closer and more intimate relationship with Him. When it comes to pleasing Him, I want to be number one in my Lord’s eyes, and if this isn’t how you feel, if something is more important to you than honoring and pleasing God through the Lord Jesus Christ, then it’s time to pray a different prayer.

It’s not enough to have the Christian lingo down pat, the love of Christ must be rooted down deep in us. There are many sisters praying that God will bless them with a husband, but their hearts are far from God. Heavenly Father is so incredibly loving and kind, but He cannot be fooled, and He will not bend His Word and Will to our refusal to put on love and faith. God rewards diligence. He rewards our desire and commitment to line up with His Word. Six degrees of separation may be just a myth, but it certainly conveys the truth of how close we are to the blessing we seek at any point in time, IF our souls are right with God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Six Degrees of Separation”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

November 25, 2017
From Lonely to Coupled

Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. This is a question we sometimes have to ask ourselves when our behavior speaks otherwise. God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider what He has already provided, but this is a tough cookie in the face of loneliness. Our emotions are a good indicator of our headspace at any given time, and the problem with loneliness is that it tricks us into believing that God hasn’t provided exactly what we need, when we know from His Word that He has.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) is a very impactful verse, because it not only comforts us, but it tells us what to do in order to see good results. It says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Worrying is a thorn in our faith. It jams the ability of our minds to think the Word and the ability of our hearts to trust the Word. So when our faith equipment isn’t working properly, the end results will not be as pleasing to us as they could be.

God instructs us to pray about everything. Prayer is communication with God. It isn’t just a bunch of words we use to put in our requests. It’s a sacred communion with Him that requires us to acknowledge Him as our Creator and Holy Father, and to therefore acknowledge ourselves as His children and loved ones. He commands us to tell Him what we need, and then thank Him for it, even though it may not have manifested in our external reality. This is faith, because faith requires us to trust God and not depend on what we see.

Matthew 6:26 asks us to make a comparison. It tells us to consider the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or store food, and yet Heavenly Father has provided for them. You are His child; how much more will He do for you? This is sometimes the clog in the engine of our faith; we haven’t taken the time to really allow the reality of our identity in Christ to take hold in our hearts. Faith is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God. We must discipline our minds and hearts to be thankful for the blessing of a husband, truly and authentically thankful, even though he may not be in our lives yet. Thank God not because the man will take you from lonely to coupled, but because the blessing of a husband symbolizes that you’ve learned to trust God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“From Lonely to Coupled”, written by FACM, FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

November 12, 2017
Keep A Watchful Eye

Mark 13:33 (NIV)
“Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. 34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. 35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back-whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

We live in a very precarious time now, so much so, that we can never take our basic comforts for granted. We don’t know the day nor the hour when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will return, but it’s our duty and responsibility to be ready, and to stay as alert as possible. God warns us to keep watch! We should all take this very literal. It’s like reading a road sign that says “Slow Down, Slippery Conditions Ahead!” Seeing this while driving immediately puts the driver on alert. It means extreme caution, eyes glued to the road. Well, Mark 13:33 is our road sign of warning on this Christian journey, alerting us to keep our eyes peeled to what God is doing. Some of us are getting too comfortable, and we may not be ready when the Lord comes back.

One area in life where many of us aren’t cautious or guarded enough is the area of relationships. We will sometimes allow our desire for love to take centerstage and throw caution to the wind. Keeping it real, we can all relate to the need to be loved. I’m not talking about that surface stuff. I’m referring to the deep yearning of our souls to have our empty space filled with the warmth of genuine affection. We will sometimes equate this feeling to that of physical intimacy. The danger in this is that we allow the need to have this emptiness filled to be our benchmark for feeling loved. We then look to a man to keep us filled up continually.

It truly isn’t in another person’s ability to fill us up. God created us to seek Him, and through Him we are filled. There’s a level of spiritual intimacy that is beyond anything that can be attained in this world. This intimacy with God is expressed in Ephesians 3:17. It says, “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” We become distracted by men that aren’t the right fit for us because we look to plant our roots in shallow soil. God’s desire is that we plant them in Christ, where they will take root in good soil that will keep us strong and prepared for the future.

Heavenly Father wants us to keep a watchful eye on what we seek and who we seek it from because the very act of seeking determines what fills us and who fills us. Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of our faith. He’s coming back for a church that is ready, without spot or blemish, to receive him. Until he returns, our greatest ambition and heart’s desire must be to seek God and do all we can to please him. Hebrews 10:23(NLT) admonishes us, “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” God will take care of our every need according to His riches in glory. Hold on to this promise tightly and keep your eyes planted on Him to fulfill it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Keep A Watchful Eye”, written by findingchristianman.com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

November 5, 2017
Give God Something to Work With

The process of going from single to happily engaged, and then walking down the aisle, can provoke a series of emotional highs and lows. It will require you to acknowledge whether you’re prepared to leave the peace and tranquility of single life to the oneness and complexities that come with partnership. Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” So this good news is a sound basis for assessing the possibilities for what lies ahead, but there’s also another very important aspect that this verse reveals. When it comes to choosing, we can’t forget that the goal according to Ecclesiastes 4:9 is that we choose someone that will not hold us back or stifle our aspirations to make the most of ourselves, but will in fact help us to succeed.

Let’s be honest, the population of single women continues to grow, and to a lot of them, it might look as though the number of single Christian men continues to dwindle. I would argue that it isn’t that they are dwindling, but that our vision is limited. Opportunities are revealed where preparation has finished its course. We think that because we don’t see a thing, that it isn’t there. This isn’t always true.

Everything that exists comes from God. He is the Creator of all, and everything belongs to Him. Ephesians 1:3 (NLT) declares, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” The Creator of everything has blessed us with ALL spiritual blessings because of our union with Christ. Just because you and I are not able to see ALL spiritual blessings with our physical eyes, it doesn’t mean that they are not ours to claim and activate. God has given them to us. Even though we may not necessarily see them, we are commanded by God to trust what He says in His Word and take them by faith.

2Corinthians 5:7(NLT) tells us that we should walk by faith and not by sight. We can’t depend on our physical eyes to see all the blessings that God has in store for us. Many of them remain in the embodiment of faith, and will come into full view in the season of manifestation. It is a season that is ushered in by our continued commitment to trust Heavenly Father even when conditions and circumstances seem dim. The perception that good men are dwindling is not an accurate one. If we continue in this line of thinking, it means that we have limited what we choose to believe about God’s provision. We will always see less in the areas where our vision is small.

So why don’t we give God something to work with? We can begin by changing our attitudes to line up with the blessing He wants to give us. He has made it clear that He is pleased when two people work together to succeed. If we ask, He will certainly help us to cross paths with a man that is the right fit. He is the man that will extend to you the kind of partnership that moves you forward and upward in God’s divine plan and purpose for your life.

There is no lack whatsoever in God. Many of us have a ready-made-up heart and mind about what we want and need. We make this assessment with limited knowledge. We don’t see what God sees, and we don’t know what He knows. If we want to make good decisions and choices, we must be willing to spend intimate time with God in prayer, and study His Word more. We need His wisdom. Proverbs 4:5-7(NLT) says, “5 Get wisdom; develop good judgment. 6 Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. 7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.”

In the past, our plans haven’t worked out. Our way of thinking did not yield the results we sought. Now is the time to seek God for counsel, to inquire and confront where we might have gone wrong, and what we can do to partner successfully. We shouldn’t continue the practices that are not helping. A change in our minds and hearts is needed. Give God the wiggle room He requires to help you change the way you think, to empty out the negative and replace it with faith and love. Then, you will be able to transition out of being single with wisdom and grace.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Give God Something to Work With”, findingchristianman.com©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

October 29, 2017