Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships

Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

We can never underestimate the power of the words we speak. Proverb 13:3 is one example of how God wakes us up to the damage that can be done by what we say. It’s why I make sure to start my day by asking the Holy Spirit to help me control my tongue. This is so important to me because of past mistakes I’ve made. Those memories when I’ve hurt others unintentionally with the words I’ve spoken still stings. Especially during times of anger, I said things that hurt those I care about most. I was upset, and cutting words came out of my mouth before I could catch them. I wish I could take them back, but that’s the trap of unkind words; you can never take them back. Once they’re out of your mouth, there’s a record of them in heaven above and hell below.

I believe one of the main reasons people get stuck in life is because they haven’t learned or been taught how to use their words, or how to economize them when necessary. In our schools, teachers begin instructing students at a very early age to use their words carefully, and to be kind to one another with their language. This is a good practice of thoughtfulness, but it also conveys the intelligence of building discipline and self-control around what comes out of our mouths.

Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT) tells us, “29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

After we receive Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside us. His presence and power within is proof positive that we are God’s children, and we have been given a recreated human spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside our recreated human spirit, and He guides, directs, comforts, teaches, and befriends us. Verse 30 admonishes us not to bring sorrow or grief to the indwelling Holy Spirit by the way we live, but instead, we are to get rid of as much negativity in our lives as we have knowledge about. We are to replace acts and words of anger, resentment, and harshness with those of gentleness, forgiveness, and kindness. Many Christians have not disciplined themselves to do this, and one of the major reasons that they haven’t is because they don’t realize how costly it is to their spiritual lives.

Jesus Christ has told us that to whom much is given much is required. As Children of God, we are held to a much higher standard. God expects us to behave like Him. We are to have a love nature.

Our obedience to God will always be rewarded, but our rebellion against what He has told us will not. Our words and actions have consequences not just in the right now of our conditions, but also in our futures. Many marriages are corroding today because of hurtful words that were spoken years ago, they were never acknowledged as harmful by the person that spoke them. He or she never repented, and those toxic words were never forgiven by the person to whom they were spoken to. So not only is the doer of evil in trouble, but in some cases the recipient as well, because the potential to harbor hurt and resentment is present.

We need to make changes in our conduct so that our mouths do not ruin everything for us. This is good medicine for the wife, girlfriend, and the woman desiring to occupy either of those roles. Our attitudes, words, and choices really do matter. They impact our present reality, and they build the future realities we will have. Let’s learn and practice the discipline of speaking words that help and not hinder, comfort and not discourage, and give life, not death. This is the way to strengthen our relationship with God and others, as we continue to build a life of love and holiness before Him.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships”, written by written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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