There was only one thing that drove my aunt to fits, and it was seeing a woman completely lose herself over a man. When I was younger, I never understood why it made her so angry. As I got older it was clear to me that she didn’t like the idea of a woman crumbling in vulnerability over someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t love her unconditionally. The notion that a woman would place all her eggs in the basket of a person that couldn’t even take care of his own, let alone someone else’s; this just didn’t make sense to her. She had very little sympathy for anyone that would place herself in this position. It’s possible that seeing this characteristic in another woman forced my aunt to face the pain of her own vulnerability, and this is something all of us must confront if we want to love from a place of strength.
“She loves hard!” That’s what I heard someone say about a young woman that has recently had her heart broken. There are very few situations in life that hurt more intensely than this, and when we’re in this place of extreme vulnerability, you can best believe that the enemy isn’t going to sleep on it. If we, as women of God, do not stand for the truth, we will fall for anything. Talk about vulnerability, not knowing the truth or the difference between the truth and a lie, is the ultimate position of weakness. Anytime that we are tricked into believing something that isn’t the truth of God’s Word, we’ve given a little piece of ourselves over to darkness.
In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ made it crystal clear that we must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness preeminently; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. In Matthew 6:24, he tells us exactly why this is demanded. A human being has some baked-in limitations, and one of them is that we cannot produce the same level of adoration, commitment, and reverence for two lords. He said, “for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”
It is apparent that the degree of our suffering in heartbreak, and our inability to bounce back better and stronger with ease, gives way to the premise that at least on some level, we’ve tried to squeeze the man in between us and the place reserved for God alone. Psalm 62: 6-7 (NLT) tells us, “He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. 7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.” God is our sufficiency. He’s our refuge. We cannot receive from another human being what we receive from Him. There’s no equal to His love, care, and protection; and our actions and intentions should clarify that we understand the honor and reverence that He is due. So no shade to the sister that loves hard, but she had better make absolutely sure that if she loves the man hard, her love for God better be concrete boulders of epic proportion.
Keeping it real for Jesus, how would it look for us to try and give God our leftover love? He’s not having it. And if we’ll look at this with greater scrutiny, we might find that, yes, it was an unconscious oversight to give what belongs to God to someone else. However, the end result of doing this is that we will ultimately receive something that mirrors our neglect of honoring Heavenly Father the way that we should.
With relationships, it can be a delicate balance, but it is one that we had better make sure keeps God in the number one spot. Leftovers after a good meal are fine, but not when it comes to love, commitment, and honor. When you’ve been wounded by the man that you adore, you’re in the unique position of understanding what it feels like to be neglected, taken for granted, and given crumbs in the form of his leftovers. Please, sister-friends, for the sake of your life in Christ, never let it be said that you have attempted to treat God in the same way.■
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“Leftovers Anyone?” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!