Proverbs 19:3(NLT)
“People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.”
Everything that we do, think, and say has a consequence. Whether our actions are good or bad determines whether what we get back is a reward or a curse. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:43-45(NLT), “43 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” There’s no escaping this truth. Everything that we do comes from what is in us. It comes from our hearts, and often the lessons that God teaches us are about what we need to get out of our hearts and what we need to put in them.
Our time as unmarried individuals is very special, but often we don’t view it that way. It’s special because it gives us time to grow in Christ and to learn the spiritual lessons that prepare us for married life. Most importantly, our time as singles can and should be used to deepen our relationship with God. As single people, we don’t have nearly as many distractions because we’re not obligated the way we would be if we were married. Time to devote and develop our prayer lives and cement our faith are the gifts we can give ourselves while we’re single. Many believers that are married fondly look back to the time they spent with Heavenly Father during their unmarried years. It was truly special to them because the intimacy they shared with God increased their faith tremendously.
James 1:12 tells us that God blesses those who patiently endure. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and it is a quality that every true disciple of Jesus Christ must have. Many women desiring marriage have not fully understood God’s requirement in this area. They are not patiently enduring the wait by using that time to grow stronger in their relationship with Him. Instead, many of them want to rush to marriage and have refused to study and meditate on the Word and spend quality time with Heavenly Father.
In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God told His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” When it comes to meeting the man that God has ordained to walk with us through life and establishing a relationship with him, some of us want to rush the process to avoid spiritual growth. We think we’re ready, and we’re wondering why this blessing is delayed. We never think about the reality that God is looking at our hearts and that our failure to examine them is separating us from what we desire.
Our past relationships brought some deep-down stuff to the surface. We might have placed all the blame on the ex and absolved ourselves completely of any issues that came up, but not honestly dealing with an issue causes it to be on repeat. There were some things that came out of our mouths that provided a snapshot of what is in our hearts, and it was not a pretty picture. We’ve yet to deal with that, and it is hindering us from moving forward.
Our past indicates a tendency to rush into situations that aren’t for our good. We rushed into relationships with men without getting a greenlight from our Heavenly Father, and given the opportunity, we might do the same thing again. Rushing into anything or anyone is an indicator that we’re trusting our own abilities more than we trust in God’s wisdom and timing. That’s not good. Leaning on our own understanding is the foolishness that Proverbs 19:3 points to, so we should avoid this at all costs.
Before we walk down the aisle, we have to be prepared to handle the heft of what comes next, and the proof of that our good stewardship and spiritual strength is how we’ve handled and prioritized our relationship with God. When you make a mistake and realize it, this is not the time to run or blame, it’s the time to assess, reprioritize, and repent, because this prepares you for the compassion and patience marriage requires. It’s time to take a realistic look at the lessons of accountability, and make sure they are firmly in our grasp. We can’t rush past them, but we must seek the Lord for help to patiently confront any issue that keeps us from having a heart that is full of His love. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Don’t Rush”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
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