Finding A Christian Man

Proverbs 13:3(NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

Words have power, and they can change the course of our lives. Words can also change the course of our relationships as well. Through our words, we can choose to build unity and harmony in them, or we can tear them down. This is a truth that must be firmly anchored in our hearts and minds as we spiritually prepare for marriage. Many single believers have embarked upon the journey to make space in their lives for a significant person, but they’ve not considered the conversations or statements they’ve made about the disappointments and heartaches of the past. We haven’t thought about the changes we need to make regarding the confessions, or lack thereof, about our futures. For many single individuals, their words haven’t shifted very much at all in the last few years, and they’ve neglected or refused to connect the results they’re getting with the words they’ve spoken.

A person can tell a lot about what is in the heart of another by the words they speak. Proverbs 13:3 says it best by telling us that opening our mouths can ruin everything. We can spoil an opportunity or close a door to a blessing by having doubt in our hearts and letting it spew from our lips, but the most harmful damage of words of doubt and negativity is what they do to our faith and believing.

God commands us in Philippians 4:6(NLT), “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Worry is a state of anxiety that occurs when our minds dwell on difficulties and troubles because we’re uncertain about the future. Our Heavenly Father makes it plain that faith is the answer for worry, fear, and anxiety. God is the only One that holds our futures, and He has promised in Jeremiah 29:11 to give those who love Him a good future and a hope for continual abundance as we flourish in Him. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 11:23 to have faith in God. We simply must believe our Heavenly Father when He promises to take care of us, but some of us are not following the commandment of Christ. We’re not trusting God as we should, and it’s evident in the words that we speak.

Faith begins in our hearts and then it is expressed through our thoughts and words. When our minds and hearts are on board with faith and our thoughts, feelings, and words line up with it, God is pleased, and things begin to change. This is what “not worrying” looks like. What comes next is our prayers to God with a mind and heart that is at peace because we trust Him. In Isaiah 26:3(NLT), the prophet said about the Most High, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” It’s this peace that God gives us that inspires confidence in His willingness and ability to bless us.

We simply need to tell God what we need. We must open our mouths and speak Words that express our need and our gratitude to Him not just for all He’s done, but for all He’s going to do to bless our lives as well. Refusing to entertain fear, praying to God in faith about everything, telling Him what we need, and then thanking Him for it—claiming it in the name of Jesus Christ, this is a practice that encompasses how we ought to be thinking, speaking, and feeling all the time. God’s Will is that we move from faith to faith, and if we’re going to move this way, our words need to always reflect our intention to go higher.

God commands us in Ephesians 4:29(NLT), “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Some of us have taken a very laxed approach to living according to this commandment. When much of what comes out of our mouths is foul, and we’re not being careful about what we say, we might damage the heart of another individual, or injure their relationship with God. Faith dictates that we change the way we think and change the way we speak so that our lives are a magnet for blessings and not negativity. We must practice this while we’re single so that we demonstrate the spiritual maturity to build unity in the relationship we desire.

Proverbs 18:21(NLT) teaches us that “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” We are going to reap the consequences of our confessions and statements. One of the main reasons we become stuck in life is because we either haven’t learned or have refused to change the way we speak. We’re still speaking death over our circumstances rather than speaking words of faith. This has to change. In order to build unity in a good and lasting relationship, we must understand how to spiritually maintain, rest, and abide in God’s peace, so that we can help create an atmosphere of peace in our homes. We do this by thinking and speaking as Christ thought and spoke. So, make sure your words are building a lovely foundation for faith and marriage, because this is what God requires for your relationship with Him and with the man He brings into your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Build Unity Through the Words You Speak”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.