Find A Christian Man

Category: Preparation for Marriage

Marriage preparation begins long before the wedding day. Explore biblical teaching on becoming spiritually prepared for covenant through your relationship with God, prayer, healing, maturity, character, wisdom, and a growing understanding of what God designed marriage to be.

  • The Peace of God in Your Relationship

    After twenty-something years of marriage and two children, Sharon decided to divorce after her youngest graduated high school. This was six years ago, and four years later her high school sweetheart got a job at the company where she worked, and they began to date.  Sharon told me that her ex-husband had never stopped hoping that one day they’d find a way to re-unite. Recently, he’s asked her to marry him again.  She said, “He’s a good provider, he’s the father of my children, and my family loves him; but I have feelings for my boyfriend, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve prayed and asked God to help me, because I don’t know what to do.”

    If any of you are thinking like me, you can’t help but appreciate Sharon’s position to some degree. She has two men vying for her affection and attention. Not many of us can make this claim. However, anytime you find discord or confusion, you’ve got to use caution. 1 Corinthians 14:33a(NKJV) tells us so clearly, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” God doesn’t initiate, create, or perpetuate confusion. He interjects peace, and Philippians 4:7 tells us that His peace exceeds anything we can understand. It will guard our hearts and minds as we are committed to live in Christ.

    Ambivalence, especially when it comes to relationships, is a sign that we don’t have God’s peace. It is sometimes an emotional and mental indicator that we need to be still, and wait until we can hear clearly from the Lord.  In Sharon’s case, she has forgotten how important it is to have the peace of God in a relationship. Without it, things turn to mush very quickly, and you lose the foundation that once gave the relationship endurance and unity.

    We can always learn from our previous relationships, especially those that are prior marriages. It is a big deal when a marriage falls apart and divorce enters the picture. Nothing is gained from playing the blame game, but it is important to analyze things as much as possible, so that mistakes and missteps are not repeated. Sharon and her ex-husband somehow lost the peace of God in their marriage. They may have looked to find in each other something that can only be found in God.

    We should never expect to receive from another individual something that only God can give. He gives us peace, joy, fulfillment, and so much more. When you learn how to find these spiritual goodies in God through Jesus Christ, you can then enter your relationship as a whole person, as opposed to someone who doesn’t really understand their identity in Christ, and is fragmented and insecure. When you’re in this fragmented state, it will spill over into your relationship. So, the peace of God is most definitely a foundation that must be built in our own hearts and minds, before we can bring it into any other relationship.

    Real and true peace is an inner calmness and contentment that abides because of our faith in God. It’s a joy that we experience despite any difficulty we might be encountering. It isn’t dependent upon any circumstance, but rests solely on our trust in our Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    When we’ve lost God’s peace in a relationship, it is important for us to examine if we’ve grown to such an extent that we won’t lose it again. God knows our future. He wants only the best for us, and He knows WHO is best for us. Sharon indicated that she has prayed and asked God what to do, but we must also ask ourselves if we are in a position to hear His answer. It is important for us to rest in His peace, because this is when we can hear Him. It’s when we have intentionally drowned out all other noises so we can commune only with God. He is always speaking, and abiding in His peace will allow us to hear, so that we can make good decisions, and nurture our relationships from a place of wholeness, confidence, and strength. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “The Peace of God in Your Relationship”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Your Destiny Depends on It

    In the Old Testament, God called Joshua to take the place of Moses and lead the Israelites to possess the promised land. Other people were living in the land, but God told Joshua to be courageous and to have confidence that the Almighty would back him as he sought to possess it. In Joshua 1:9 (NLT) God said, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” All of us can well imagine that this was a huge comfort to him. Joshua had probably felt intimidated by the thought of filling Moses’ shoes and wondered how he would measure up. Even so, he didn’t waver and moved according to the promise God had made. As single women, we have made the quest to get married so complicated, but this verse in Joshua 1:9 breaks it down like elementary school. If we are truly aiming to walk in the destiny God has called us to, understanding one central component of this verse will shift our faith in high gear.

    It is very necessary that we draw a comparison between Joshua and the Children of Israel that followed him, and their fore parents who died in the wilderness. Their fore parents did not get the opportunity to live in the Promise Land. God called the Promise Land a land flowing with milk and honey because it was so fertile and rich with possibility. When you look ahead to the life that you envision for yourself, you need to ask yourself if it meets a criterion that is as high quality as the promise that God gave to the Children of Israel. They were not spiritual sons and daughters as we are, yet God promised them an inheritance so profound, it is still in place today. How much more do you think He will do for you?

    Those who followed the hand of God through Moses, were delivered out of bondage from the Egyptians. The Egyptians had been terrible and abusive task masters. Under the leadership of Moses, God’s children saw many miracles, signs, and wonders from Heavenly Father. He parted the Red Sea so they could walk through on dry land. He fed them manna from heaven, and preserved them wonderfully. They received all these amazing blessings, but when ten of the twelve spies brought them a bad report about the land God promised them, they jumped ship. They abandoned their trust in God and opted for fear instead of faith.

    If we examine what we know from God’s Word about their mindset, we can see very clearly that they didn’t have a vision and faith that equaled the promise that God had given them. They became afraid and angry. They even sought to do harm to Moses for bringing them out of Egypt. This is very hard to imagine, but there are very clear similarities between how they saw themselves in relation to God’s promise, and how the single sister desiring marriage sees herself in relation to the destiny God has ordained for her life.

    As you ponder the condition of those who did not get to live in the promised land, notice that the Will of God was not flexible to their unbelief. Those who were not able to raise their sights to believe that God would accomplish for them what seemed impossible were left behind. It wasn’t punishment. It is law, and God never breaks His laws. They didn’t believe, and therefore, they couldn’t receive.

    Those who DID believe the promise had destiny in their view, and this is the component of Joshua 1:9 that ought to shift our faith in high gear. God gave them the command to be strong and courageous. He knew their future, and that they would not waver at His command. He knew that they possessed the mind and heart to take what He had promised. They would not sit about with their hands tucked under their laps. They had to move, and showed themselves ready to receive God’s guidance as they executed one step after another.

    James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. I submit to you that the distance between you and the promise of marriage can be bridged by what you do to back up your faith. You might question whether you know best how to move with due course to this end. God tells us in Psalm 32:8(NLT), “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”  This is God’s Word. He will guide you, just as He guided His people to the Promise Land. He will advise you. He will tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. The question you must ask yourself is are you really ready to listen for His instructions and guidance. We demonstrate our readiness to listen to God by silencing all the other noises of doubt, insecurity, and fear. We just tune in to Him, and He does the rest.

    Sometimes the scale of our vision and expectation is too small. I’m not referring to the size of the house you’ll live in, the kind of car you’ll drive, or the amount of money you’ll have in the bank when you get married. I’m referring to the lives that you and your future husband will touch with the Word of God. Envision what you’ll accomplish for the Kingdom and the legacy you’ll leave upon the earth as a result of the love of Christ that flows from your hearts to others. This is why you must be strong and courageous, and let Christ lead you into partnership, because your marriage is integral to the Plan and Will of God, and your destiny depends on it. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Your Destiny Depends on It”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Leftovers Anyone?

    There was only one thing that drove my aunt to fits, and it was seeing a woman completely lose herself over a man. When I was younger, I never understood why it made her so angry. As I got older it was clear to me that she didn’t like the idea of a woman crumbling in vulnerability over someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t love her unconditionally. The notion that a woman would place all her eggs in the basket of a person that couldn’t even take care of his own, let alone someone else’s; this just didn’t make sense to her. She had very little sympathy for anyone that would place herself in this position. It’s possible that seeing this characteristic in another woman forced my aunt to face the pain of her own vulnerability, and this is something all of us must confront if we want to love from a place of strength.

    “She loves hard!” That’s what I heard someone say about a young woman that has recently had her heart broken. There are very few situations in life that hurt more intensely than this, and when we’re in this place of extreme vulnerability, you can best believe that the enemy isn’t going to sleep on it. If we, as women of God, do not stand for the truth, we will fall for anything. Talk about vulnerability, not knowing the truth or the difference between the truth and a lie, is the ultimate position of weakness. Anytime that we are tricked into believing something that isn’t the truth of God’s Word, we’ve given a little piece of ourselves over to darkness.

    In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ made it crystal clear that we must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness preeminently; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. In Matthew 6:24, he tells us exactly why this is demanded. A human being has some baked-in limitations, and one of them is that we cannot produce the same level of adoration, commitment, and reverence for two lords. He said, “for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”

    It is apparent that the degree of our suffering in heartbreak, and our inability to bounce back better and stronger with ease, gives way to the premise that at least on some level, we’ve tried to squeeze the man in between us and the place reserved for God alone. Psalm 62: 6-7 (NLT) tells us, “He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. 7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.” God is our sufficiency. He’s our refuge. We cannot receive from another human being what we receive from Him. There’s no equal to His love, care, and protection; and our actions and intentions should clarify that we understand the honor and reverence that He is due. So no shade to the sister that loves hard, but she had better make absolutely sure that if she loves the man hard, her love for God better be concrete boulders of epic proportion.

    Keeping it real for Jesus, how would it look for us to try and give God our leftover love? He’s not having it. And if we’ll look at this with greater scrutiny, we might find that, yes, it was an unconscious oversight to give what belongs to God to someone else. However, the end result of doing this is that we will ultimately receive something that mirrors our neglect of honoring Heavenly Father the way that we should.

    With relationships, it can be a delicate balance, but it is one that we had better make sure keeps God in the number one spot. Leftovers after a good meal are fine, but not when it comes to love, commitment, and honor. When you’ve been wounded by the man that you adore, you’re in the unique position of understanding what it feels like to be neglected, taken for granted, and given crumbs in the form of his leftovers. Please, sister-friends, for the sake of your life in Christ, never let it be said that you have attempted to treat God in the same way.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Leftovers Anyone?” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Reflection of Your Heart

    The Word of God teaches us how to live in such a way that we keep His blessings flowing in our lives. It is critical that the single Christian woman believes this, because one of the major setbacks in a Christian’s life is that after a while, our senses become dull and we grow less and less teachable. We begin to entertain people and situations that are designed to interrupt God’s plan for our lives. Proverbs 15:10 (NLT) deals with an unteachable person in a very straightforward way. It warns, “Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.” This verse reinforces the importance of humility in our walks in Christ, and that we should learn to greatly value God’s correction.

    Proverbs 15:10 is God’s warning to those who, like people living in Old Testament times, had been on the Christian journey a while. They thought they knew all the answers, and refused to be corrected by the wisdom of His Word. They were inflexible, and inflexibility is a sign of a hardened heart.

    Our Heavenly Father has placed His Spirit in the inner sanctum of our beings. He’s with us every moment of every day. He has an inside view of our propensity to become so accustomed to our routines that we don’t want to break out of them. We start to take things for granted, and we bring this into our relationships with God. We turn a blind eye to what the Spirit is revealing.

    This is what happens in some of our marriages as well. We forget the sting of loneliness and what it was like to want to be married but not have the right person in our lives. After a few years of seeing our spouses every day, couples will take each other for granted and forget how special it is to have one another. It takes a certain level of consciousness to make ourselves remember to honor the person who loves us most. If we’re not the type of person who practices mindfulness, of being aware of what it takes to make a person feel supported and valued, then this is something we absolutely must learn.

    Our relationship with God will cast a reflection on the relationship with our spouses. Are we acknowledging God’s gifts? How are we demonstrating our appreciation for His love? Are we taking His grace and mercy for granted? Our intimacy with Heavenly Father should be stronger and more fulfilling than any other relationship. Our friendship with the Holy Spirit should be one of seeking his council, leadership, and guidance in every decision and choice that we make. We must be so in love with Jesus that the reflection of our hearts illuminates the lives of our husbands.

    Proverbs 21:2 (NLT) says, “People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.” I’ve spoken with many single women that are very impatient with the process of spiritually preparing to marry. They feel that they’re ready to take that walk down the aisle, but there is so much more to learn from God about being the kind of wife He desires them to be. Heavenly Father just wants the best for us. He sees our hearts. He wants our marriages to be a reflection of His love, and He knows where we need to be strengthened so that our relationships are fulfilling and will last.

    When it comes to your desire for marriage, ask yourself if you are really allowing God to lead you through the person of the Holy Spirit. Have you given Holy Spirit a place in your life? Because if you make a commitment to honor him, to communicate with him, and allow him to take control of your decisions and choices, he will always guide you on the path to God’s love, joy, and purpose. Be sure to give the Holy Spirit room in your life. Let him take control of your quest to be married, so that your heart will reflect the quality of God’s love that you will both give and receive.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Reflection of Your Heart”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Learning to Pace Yourself

    A good friend of mine met a man through another mutual friend. They engaged in a little small talk, exchanged numbers, and he said that he would call her in a couple of days when he was back in town. True to his word, he phoned. They had a few really nice conversations and planned a date. Prior to the date, my friend said to me, “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a stalker that calls all the time!” I found this to be a strange comment for her to make, because he had not given her any reason to suspect that he was anything of the sort. He had simply held to his word, and that’s a really admirable quality, but she immediately dismissed it and went straight for the negative.

    Rather than allowing this man to get comfortable with occupying the space of acquaintance or friendship, my friend tried to peg him as a possible marital partner, and began stacking him against her list of criteria. Not only had she jumped to conclusions before getting to know who he is, but she was already piling on the baggage from her previous relationships. “…And if he has more than two kids under the age of 18, I’ll entertain only one date, and that’s it!” she said.

    Galatians 5:6(NLT) tells us, “For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” Faith has requirements, and they do not let up, but increase as we get closer and closer to the fulfillment of God’s promises. So imagine if you begin a new friendship by wrapping it in fear from day one. It will take incredible energy to reroute it from that point.

    Single Christians are to occupy their time getting tight in their relationships with God, and becoming spiritually sharp. We are poised to be the greatest examples of Christ, because of the amount of alone time we get to spend with him before we get married. In turn, he teaches us how to express our faith through his love. Some of us just haven’t given Christ the reigns in this area of our lives. We rush to occupy our time with other things, and this gives the enemy the opportunity to sabotage our efforts to partner.

    Learning to pace ourselves is very important, not only when it comes to meeting someone new, but also in giving ourselves time to make good decisions for our own hearts. God has given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us maintain a healthy pace. He knows how to lead and guide us, and he will also keep us out of danger. So rather than jumping to conclusions, and letting negative baggage from the past ruin our futures, we can choose to demonstrate spiritual maturity. Having faith in God’s positioning is the best way to be loving and kind to yourself. You don’t have to rush anything. You can simply enjoy meeting new people and being a blessing to them.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Learning to Pace Yourself” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When No One is Watching

    A friend shared a teachable moment she had with her teenage daughter while they were on vacation. They visited a store to purchase gifts to take back home for co-workers and friends. When they went up to the cashier to make their purchase, the gentleman was so distracted with other customers that he completely forgot to take their money. Without realizing the mistake, he gave them their merchandise and said “Have a nice day”.  My friend immediately and discreetly said, “Sir, excuse me, but you didn’t ring us up. We need to pay for our purchase.” When they exited the store, her daughter said, “Mom, we could have walked out of the store with the merchandise and the money too.” She responded by telling her daughter, “Yes, but do you think God would have been pleased if we had done that?”

    Keeping it real, many people would have walked right out of that store with the goodies and cash in hand, and wouldn’t have felt the slightest hint of guilt about it. But what we fail to realize is that our actions in situations like these are markers. They indicate our spiritual maturity level and our preparedness for greater blessings. God is always watching.

    Proverbs 15:11(NLT) tells us, “Even Death and Destruction hold no secrets from the LORD. How much more does he know the human heart!” Heavenly Father knows everything under the sun about His children. He knows the choices and decisions we’re going to make before we even think about them. He knows our beginning and our end. He also knows that the human heart can be a pretty treacherous tool when used the wrong way. It can plot the vilest and most evil attacks, and it can also love intensely deep. God knows it all, and He expects us to know that it’s not enough to do right when everyone is watching. What counts are the choices and decisions we make when no one is watching or paying attention. These actions are the ones that speak to what is in our hearts.

    One of the standards for this can be found in 1Corinthians 1:21(NLT). The Apostle Paul wrote, “Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe.” The truth that Jesus Christ was a King and the Messiah who died on the cross was too hard to swallow for some people living during his time; this is true for many living today as well. Folks living back then didn’t think that Jesus Christ lived up to their human wisdom regarding what a king should be, how a king should look, and how a king should act. When our Lord and Savior came to the earth to reveal the heart of God, he was born in a manger, a place where the animals were kept and fed. There were no huge celebrations regarding his birth, and when he grew up to be a man, he did not wear fine garments and fancy jewelry as one would expect of a king, particularly a king who had all power in his hands. The hearts of people were in the wrong place, and that is why they couldn’t see the love of God that our King Jesus introduced into this dark world. 

    God is wise beyond what any of us can fathom. If the majesty and excellence of Christ had been revealed through the spectacle of grandeur and trivial things like fancy clothes and jewelry, people would have responded to Christ differently. Many of them would have gravitated towards him and been on their best behavior for the wrong reasons. They would have been consumed with the outward appearances, and not with the liberty and light that he brought to liberate the earth. They would have lavished him with gifts, and pretended to love him, even though their hearts were crooked. In a nutshell, people would have received a superficial message about what is truly important to God.

    1Corinthians 1:21(NLT) tells us that people wanted a human sign, something that spoke to their arrogance, to let them know that Jesus Christ was the Messiah, but God wanted to see their true hearts. Jesus did not come to appease those hungry for notoriety and arrogance. He restored sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf; he healed the sick and casted out demons from those that were possessed and oppressed by them. He came to show us the way, and to reveal the heart of the Father. His compassion, and the purity of his love and power is the thing that would awaken the hearts of his people and cause them to want to live right.

    Jesus Christ is THE King, but he allowed himself to be brought low and suffered the cross for our sakes. Just as there was nothing superficial about Jesus Christ, God doesn’t want there to be anything superficial about our hearts for Him either. If we are true followers of Christ, we will be honest, loving, respectful, and have integrity especially when no one is looking or paying attention. We will guard our hearts with diligence. We’ll behave in a way that pleases God, and realize that His eyes are upon us every moment of each day.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When No One is Watching”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • ‘Hurry Up’ Mode

    Heavenly Father is a Doer. His love continues to produce results, and it has always produced supremely positive results. God shows us in His Word that His love operates in a certain way. For instance, you might have heard it said that the first law of heaven is order. We know from God’s Word that order is extremely important to Him. 1Corinthians 14:33a(NLT) tells us, “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”  Everything that He does has order. His patterns are consistent; we can count on them, because they will not fail us; they are fail-proof. These are truths that I’m sure you know, but somehow, when it comes to partnering, we allow the knowledge of God’s order to slip to the side a little bit. We don’t believe it’s necessary to think about things in a systematic way, so that we can be strategic in how we move, yet this is exactly how God does things.

    When our Heavenly Father makes a promise to us, He’s not going to waver back and forth, nor will He fail to deliver on the promise He has made. As we steady our minds and hearts on His promise of a more than abundant life, we know that included in this abundance is a long, happy, and productive marriage, should we desire it.

    God placed this desire for marriage in our hearts. Ephesians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  Philippians 2:13(NLT) affirms, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”  God planned good things for us long ago, and He is working in us to accomplish those things by giving us both the desire and the power to get them done. This pleases Him greatly.

    Think about the relationship that you want, and how much you want it to happen, but also think about God and what He wants for your life. We want things to hurry up and come into manifestation quickly, but we must remember that God has an order; and it must be followed. He tells us His priority list for our lives in Matthew 6:33. God tells us to seek His Kingdom first, and every other good thing that we desire will flow out of this seeking. This is God’s Word. It’s a done deal. He’s not giving us a suggestion here. He’s telling us resolutely what must be done to have things flow in our lives according to His divine order and plan.

    Over the course of time, society as a whole has adapted a mode of ‘hurry-up’ when it comes to desires and needs. The discipline of patience in our society is slipping away, but God has not changed. His order has not changed, nor will it. We cannot hurry God, and He will not place our personal desires before the priority that He has set in His Word. He has told us to seek Him first, and when it comes to our desire to marry, many of us are doing everything but this.

    God is royalty. He rules His Kingdom with absolute sovereignty. Our born-again reality means that we are children of God; and therefore, we are citizens of His Kingdom. What this also means for us is that we will not attempt to do anything outside of God’s rule and will. Only 100% loyalty is accepted, because His Kingdom is one of undivided authority and dominion. If we step outside of His rule, we will be under the rule of darkness and outside of God’s priority for our lives; we’re no longer seeking Him first.

    We often make a thousand different excuses, but God’s Word is absolute. It’s perfect, and He’s faithful to it in every way. His Word will not bend to us, we must be flexible to it—moldable like clay. God’s Kingdom must be the priority, and to the extent that it isn’t, things will be subtracted rather than added. This is law! So, when it comes to marriage, our timetable and lists take a backseat. God requires us to have a heart that yields to His Kingdom. If a successful marriage is our goal, seeking the Kingdom of God has to be our prime objective and motivation.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) tells us “ But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” If your trust is firmly in God, and your desire is anchored in pleasing Him, His love will be at the root of all your desires. You will not be bothered by the heat when temptations come, and you will not yield when the drought of loneliness knocks at your door. You will stay joyful with bountiful faith, because you are fully persuaded that the fruit of a beautiful and Godly man is soon to harvest.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “‘Hurry Up’ Mode”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Making the Right Decisions and Choices

    In James 1:13-14 (NLT), God tells us, “13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” Temptation of the worse kind is a prompting to do something wrong or unwise. Some Christian leaders and teachers have taught for many years that God tempts or tests us in order to see how we will respond. We have been led to believe that He will do this in an effort to reveal exactly what we are made of. In truth, the scriptures tell us that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He has all power in His hands, and He knows everything there is to know; this includes every detail of our past, present, and future. He created us and made us new creations through our new birth reality. So, He already knows what we’re made of, and it is our great privilege to affirm it boldly through Jesus Christ every day!

    God is never tempted to do wrong. This is a tremendous source of comfort, and it speaks to His omnipotence and goodness; but the truth that He never tempts anyone to do wrong is beyond an awesome piece of loveliness. It’s wonderful to have this truth in our arsenal of knowledge, so that we know exactly where temptation comes from. It comes from the devil. Some of us have attributed the stuff that comes from God as that which comes from satan. And vice versa; we have attributed darkness from the depths of hell as that which comes from Heavenly Father. We have greatly underestimated the importance of clearly discerning the source of that which is good from that which is evil.

    Our responsibility as Christians is to take by faith all that God says we can have, and then we are to disburse it or give it out, because everything that comes from God will bless, expand, increase, and continue to move forward. That which comes from satan causes a reverse reaction of the worse kind. Out of ignorance and immaturity, some of us will disburse and dole out what comes from satan. When we do this, it boomerangs! It comes back to us, and instead of blessing us, it smashes us in our faces. The hit is often devastating.

    Many of us have seen this boomerang effect in our relationships. It’s no secret that the enemy knows that when we put something negative out there, something negative is going to come back to bite us. That’s his whole game with this temptation business. Temptation will cause this boomerang effect. Many of us Christians have faced or will at some point in our lives face a challenging decision. It may not be apparent to us, or it may not be presented in a way that shouts ‘TEMPTATION’, but sometimes that is exactly what it is. It’s a web the enemy has spun to ensnare us.

    We have to be careful because sometimes this temptation is in the form of a fine specimen who’s charming as all get out, has dimples and a killer smile to boot, and he knows all the right things to say. There’s only two ways to handle it; either we will choose God’s way or the way of the enemy. And we can’t get it twisted, giving in to temptation will always end in regret. Heavenly Father has given us a way to avoid this, and all we need to do is ask for His help. The Holy Spirit that indwells us will give us guidance and direction so that we make good choices and decisions. But if we forfeit the patience and wisdom to heed his direction, the end result is going to lead to more confusion, heartache, and distress.

    In Genesis 39, we have a record of God’s favor on the life of Joseph, one of the 12 sons of Jacob. God caused Joseph to be successful in everything he did. Because of God’s favor, folks took notice of Joseph, including Potiphar, who was Pharaoh’s Captain of the Guard. Now, Joseph was a handsome and well-built young man, and Potiphar’s wife wanted him for herself. She didn’t hold back her advances towards him and tried to seduce Joseph by pressuring him to sleep with her. She allowed herself to be used by the devil to tempt Joseph, but He did everything to stay out of her way and never gave in to the temptations she presented.

    Joseph didn’t have the indwelling Holy Spirit like we have today, but he was committed to stand upon the righteousness he knew. How many of us will be so brave and courageous? Well, God demands that we are strong and persistent in our conviction to honor Him, no matter what the circumstances may be. We must have a made-up mind and heart to live and do what is right. Our stand for God’s way will always lead us down the path of His goodness and bring us closer to the blessings we desire.

    James 1:14 says that temptation comes from our own desires. This tells us that the tempter, the devil, makes a study of our desires, so that he will have something to trick us with. We must never lose sight of this and keep a careful watch for it. Our weaknesses and propensity towards poor judgement furthers his plots and plans.

    We don’t have to walk around being afraid of what the enemy will do. 1John 4:4 declares that the Holy Spirit that is within us is greater than the prince of darkness and his demonic cohorts. Jesus Christ declared in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit will guide us into ALL truth, and God commands that we walk by the Spirit and follow his guidance. When we do, we can be confident that he will help us make right decisions and choices so that our lives are blessed and pleasing to God.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Making the Right Decisions and Choices”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What’s Wrong with This Picture?

    Matthew 5:43-45 (NLT)
    “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[a] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![b] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”

    Jesus Christ was a paradigm shifter to say the least. He started his statement in Matthew 5:43 with “you have heard…” This allows us to know that the popular teaching during the time he came on the scene was completely contradictory to the knowledge and wisdom that he laid out. How absolutely mind blowing it must have been for those listening. To think that they had made a pattern of hating their enemies and loving only those who loved them. Jesus Christ blazed a new trail by speaking of a higher, more enlightened, and spiritually intelligent way of handling enemies. He said love them, then you’ll draw a line in the sand between those that are representing God’s love and those that are not.

    It must have sounded preposterous to those who would absolutely refuse to move away from their old way of thinking and behaving. Not only did he tell them to love their enemies, but he took it a step further. He said pray for them who persecute you! What!!! Make no mistake, Jesus Christ knew exactly the uproar his revolutionary words would cause. He came to shake things up and to set a new, higher standard for living a spiritual life. You can’t do this without knocking down the error first, so that newness has a fresh place to land.

    Even though many single sisters are Christians, and have been for years, they still cling to old paradigms or patterns; some of which Jesus Christ has specifically told us to kick to the curb. We’re still complaining about how hard good men are to find, when we know from God’s Word that they are the ones to do the finding. We’re playing around with the temptations that dating often leads to, when God has called us to use our time as singles to tighten our relationship with Him. Patterns like these must be eradicated if we’re to step into a greater level of love, and thereby draw out a greater love from the one who will ultimately be our partner in life.

    Jesus Christ told us that our Heavenly Father rains down blessings on both the just and the unjust. In your mind, you might see yourself as a woman that is living right; on the other hand, you see a woman that isn’t nearly as dedicated to the faith as you are, and she’s engaged to be married. “What’s wrong with this picture?” you ask yourself. Stuff like this may have you feeling a little like those who first heard the message of love that Jesus taught in Matthew 5:43-45.

    The truth is that God doesn’t love the saved person more than He loves the unsaved person. He loves all of us, which is why Jesus instructed us to love and pray for our enemies. So we can’t focus on some of the things that we see, but don’t quite understand.

    Your focus must rest in the reality that God has specifically called you out from among the world. This means that there are some things that you are required to do in order to fulfill your destiny in Christ. You can never underestimate God’s allegiance to see you become all that He has called you to be. You may see others enjoying the blessings that you desire for yourself, but you cannot be deterred. God is perfecting something in you. James 1:4 (NIV) encourages us, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

    Always remember that Jesus Christ has called us to a higher, more enlightened, spiritually intelligent way of life. Not to make us better than anyone else, but he has called us to light the path for those who have not yet beheld his glory in the way that we have. Your future husband will be all that you desire and more, but he will need you to be strong in ways that you don’t yet realize. Trust that God is grooming you to receive this tremendous blessing. Help Him to knock down those old paradigms of error that have gotten in your way. Represent God’s love always, and trust that the Holy Spirit will prepare you for what is to come as you do.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What’s Wrong with This Picture?”, written for findchristianman.com ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t Break His Heart

    Many people live their lives from the outside in. They allow what is happening in their environments to dictate what is happening internally. For instance, if something happens at work and someone does something they don’t like, they allow this person’s actions to ruin their day. People often find themselves reacting negatively to situations and events that are going on outside of themselves. They become enraged if someone cuts them off in traffic, or if a person says the wrong thing to them. No longer do we, as a society, bypass simple offenses. In today’s environment, many of us are easily offended and wear our feelings on our sleeves, so to speak. When it comes to this tendency of reacting to the negativity in our worlds, the list goes on and on. We’ve approached a level of extremes, and people have adopted a very negative outlook on life because of it. So many are ill-tempered and constantly in a bad mood. This kind of pessimism is corrosive; it hinders the blessings that many of us desire to flow our way. A happy life with a wonderful spouse is absolutely achievable for the woman of God that desires it, but it’s not going to square with a negative outlook on life.

    God is opening His heart to us in amazing ways. Wonderful things are happening in the body of Christ. Our privilege and responsibility is to take on more of God’s nature and continue to renew our minds to His Word. This is required to grow in spiritual strength and have the relationship with Him that He desires. Looking at this in very basic terms, if you and I have love in our hearts for someone, we are concerned about their well-being. We want them to be happy, to grow, and to be productive in life. If we are at a level of abounding in the things of God, and we are witnessing His wonderful abundance, we want this for everyone else that we know. Wanting the best for others is a very important attribute of how the love of God in Christ behaves.

    The love of God in Christ will motivate us to want to see others rise to greater levels of growth and prosperity. This is multiplied to uncalculatable levels when it comes to God’s heart and what He wants for us. We are His children! We’re Kingdom Kids, so it makes sense that Heavenly Father desires that we grow in His nature. In Ephesians 4:13, He makes it clear that the end goal is that we measure up to the full and complete stature of Christ. In other words, the more of God’s nature that we take on, the more like Christ we become. Heavenly Father can then share more with us; and not only this, but spiritually we get to a level where there is such an ease in our communication and fellowship with Him.

    When other things, situations, and people are dictating our mood, it means that we are developing a habit pattern of internalizing potentially hazardous stuff. We’re allowing fear and all its cousins to get cozy in our hearts. That’s no good. Our bodies are the temple of God. The Holy Spirit abides inside of us. We must remember that marital partnership is a ministry, and if we’re not ministering to our own hearts properly through God’s love and power, we probably won’t have the spiritual strength to do it for someone else. When we guard our hearts and feed them a diet of positive thoughts and the promises of God’s Word, we’ll be amazed by the blessings we begin to attract.

    Ephesians 4:30-32 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” I know you have heard many Christians refer to the indwelling Holy Spirit as a gentleman. For some of us, it may seem odd to our ears to hear this, but with respect to sensitivity, compassion, and love, this statement is so true. The Holy Spirit is very gentle and loving. He rejoices in those things that delight the Father, and he is grieved by those things that do not.

    The Holy Spirit partners with us when our actions are those that represent heaven. These are the times when we really see his power in operation. The bottom line is that we can’t thrive when our hearts and minds are not conducive to the lively loveliness of the Spirit. God is interested in what is going on with our hearts, because that’s where the action is. It’s part of the reason that God placed the Spirit on the inside of us. It’s there that we need the most help.

    We’ve really got to come into consciousness about how we’re reacting to the world around us. If we’re in a bad mood all the time, and we’re angry or disappointed, God has a remedy for this. He tells us to renew our minds to His Word and to trust Him with all our hearts. We need to talk to Him daily, be very honest with Him, and then listen for His response. We need to pray and trust that He’ll help us reroute ourselves, so that we can begin to attract blessings and make the indwelling Holy Spirit feel right at home.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

     “Don’t Break His Heart”, written for findchristianman ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!