Are You Expecting Him to Bring His “A” Game?

A virtuous woman is a woman of great moral character. She has integrity, and her love for God through the Lord Jesus Christ is always apparent, and it is reflected in the decisions and choices she makes every day. Proverbs 31:10 (KJV) is probably the most well-known scripture regarding a virtuous woman. In this verse, King Lemuel asked, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Now, if you gathered a number of Christian women together in one place and asked those who considered themselves virtuous to raise their hands, I think it’s a pretty good bet to say that most of them would have one hand in the air. We must keep in mind that this scripture stands out in our minds because it conveys that a virtuous woman is not so easy to find. In fact, in our day and time, it is increasingly challenging to find such a woman. This is one of the reasons why God is calling on Christian women everywhere to raise up our standards.

No one can argue against the fact that we’ve allowed the standard that God brings forth in Proverbs 31 to fall. We’re hearing a lot about valuing ourselves. It includes a commitment to not be tricked into lowering our standards when it comes to the men we date. This is a good thing, but we can never escape or neglect the responsibility and accountability that is baked into the premise of expecting the best. If you expect the best, you’ve got to present the best; and presenting the best has nothing to do with the externalities of designer threads and kicks.

Expecting a man to bring his “A” game, when your game isn’t tight will translate to the definition of insanity. It’s not realistic—doesn’t make sense. It isn’t possible to live, dress, act, and behave like the majority of other women and then expect that we’re this rare-as-rubies kind of special that draws an extraordinary brother in. That’s not going to work, and the Father has made no bones about it. There must be a Christ-kind of integrity that flows through our everyday presentation. It’s not spoken, but communicated by the heart we have for God. The more committed you are to His standard, the greater impression it makes and the stronger it’s reach will be to the man that is ordained to be your husband.

There are certain characteristics that men have by nature. God created them to operate a certain kind of way, and nothing that a woman can do will change this. It rings true for women as well. There are things that we come equipped with. Our flawed thinking, feeling, and acting has crossed wires incorrectly and interfered with the way God designed unity and attraction factors to work, and this is why we are witnessing what seems at times to be an epidemic of singledom. God wants us to know that it isn’t a problem without a fix.

A fierce woman is a noble one. She has cultivated within herself honorable personal qualities of high moral principles and ideals. She may not be perfect, but her number one priority is to please God and her every intention is to walk by the example of Christ. If we didn’t have this capacity baked in our makeup as Daughters of Zion, then God wouldn’t have instructed men to look for it. He instructed men to seek this kind of woman because He’s made it available through the Lord Jesus Christ for us to BE this kind of woman.

There’s a saying that tells us when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Said another way, when the woman is ready, the man shows up. It works every time. We doubt this because many of us are not committed to the work that we must do to get our souls right with Jesus. We’re not letting the Spirit work in us the way he desires. It must be settled in our minds that a person cannot profit from zero effort. Life doesn’t operate that way. Where there is little effort, there is little profit.

When a ruby rock is cut, it is polished to the point that the star within it shines through. We don’t have to be perfect to partner, but there must be an understanding on our parts that the ruby within needs refinement, so that the light of Christ shines brighter in our lives. His example is the solution for not being single longer than we’d like to.

Jesus Christ said in John 14:12 (NLT), “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.” Through him, we’ve been uniquely qualified to love, care, share, support, nurture, calm, sooth, and minister in a way that activates unity in our relationships. We’ve all seen this with the virtuous women we’ve been privilege to have in our lives. We’ve received more than many of them could have hoped to, and our standard of Godliness must be greater and shine brighter, as we strive to be the virtuous women Heavenly Father has called us to be.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Are You Expecting Him to Bring His “A” Game?”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

3 thoughts on “Are You Expecting Him to Bring His “A” Game?

  1. What do you mean by “A” game in a male? Also, Proverbs 31 is an ideal that virtuous women should work toward, as in pressing toward the mark of Jesus Christ. If we look at the attributes of the virtuous woman literally, most women are not going to fit that bill and couldn’t. I do not have a talent for sewing. Does that mean I don’t meet the qualifications?
    I think it’s vital when we look at this passage that we understand the qualities exemplified in the things it describes.


    1. Yes, by “A” Game, we do mean male. We appreciate your comment. We don’t think God would set a standard or hold us accountable for something we couldn’t meet. Most Christians understand that we’re works in progress, but we’re also more capable than we give ourselves credit, and we tend to accomplish those things that mean the most to us. Christian sisters have been known to set the bar pretty high when it comes to finding the right partner. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as the standard we hold for ourselves does not fall below what we expect from future partners. In short, if you expect him to bring his “A” game, then yours should be on point as well.


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